THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , NOVEMBER 2p , 1907
WEFxE HyrfiBLiNG THE HORSIi
That Was Why Noble Quadruped Wa
Hitched to Truck With Two Mules ,
The other day n big furniture
van irovcd slowly nlong a lioulovanl.
On one side was painted the latest
bnltlc ship ; on the other wa < ? n light-
"iiing e.vpr < * 3 train , gorgeously col
ored. The team consisted of two
mules and one fi * > e fat horse with
a sweeping tail. They \vere bar-
neesert abreast , the horfe in the mid
dle. Tlio sight was too ninth / era
a Southern "gemmen. " Uushinp
out into the street ho called a halt ,
and asked the two husky negroes in
command : "What do you mean b )
harnessing that1 horse between twc
ordinary mules ? " The driver re
plied , grinning : "Cause V ain' been
bavin'esc'lf ; we's humanilintin'
bun. " "What ? Oh , humiliating
him. " "Yns , sab ; dat'.s it ; 'e getter
ter be bumbled. "
LADY IN THE MOON.
All amateur astronomer writce
of the "lady in the moon" : "It is
a very heauitful face Fcen in profile
and uplifted , as though in proud
disdain of things terrestrial. The
curve of the throat it ) exquisite and ,
indeed , the entire outline in marvel-
diisly lifelike. The moon lady may
best be observed , say , through a
Hinall opera glass when our satellite
is at half. At that time the tip of
the chin about touched the terminat
or , that is , the dividing line between
the light and dark portions of the
lunar surface. Most people can rec
ognize the man in the moon ; well ,
the hair of the 'lady' in which I
can always fancy I see a spray of
orange blossom forms the man's
left eye , the nose and mouth bis
IIOFC , and the chin and throat the
'man's'mouth. . "
QUITE SO.
Woollcy Why , Wlsless , you arc
iiiiltc bald.
Wlglesa ( lolng ? Why , I was horn
so.
HAD CANCELED DEDT.
.A Richmond lawyer was consulted
not long since by a colored man wlui
complained that another negro owed
him three dollars , a debt which hi
absolutely refused to discharge. Tin
i redHor bud dunned and dunned
him. but all to no purpose , lie had
finally come to the lawyer in tin
hope that he could give him semi
Hood advice. "What reason does be
give for refusing to pay you ? " askei !
i he legal man. "Why , boss , " suit :
the darkey , "he said be done owi-i !
mo dat money for s-o long dat de in
terest had et it all up , an' he didn'i
owe me n cent. "
ORCHID HUNTERS' PERILS.
Orchid hunters in Xcw Guinei
often .face death searching for then
rare plants. One agent found ;
magnificent collection of orchid
growing in a native burying grouiu
imong exposed bones and skulls
When the plants were removed sonn
if the skulls were removed ' will
them. Yet another collector wa
known to wade up to bis waist ii
mud among mosquitoes for tw
weeks , seeking a single rare spec )
iien.
JUDGE'S ADVICE.
*
- -
' 'Is this your first law case ?
isked Mr. Justice lligham of n di
fondant in a civil action at tb
"ui Id ford Assizes recently. "It i :
ny lord , " replied the litigan
'Then let it be your last , " drily ol
* erved his lordship. Mr. .histk
Uiglmm has been a judge since ISO'
ind before that had a large praetic
is a leader of the Northern circui
Pearson's Weekly.
WORSE YET.
"People never give me credit f <
my serious thoughts , " complainc
Lowe Comedy. "I can't imagii
: -iy tiling worse than to hu\c foil
. 'lti at you when you n Hy mei
.1 to < irioii . "
"Yon don't say ? " replied I
' jr-.vdy. "I should think you'd fu
- ' M ha\ - folks laugh at y <
, > . . i. i to be funny. "
THE DREAD RED DEATH
Fangs of the Blood Snake of Central
America Fatal to All Who Are
Stricken.
It will be remembered that Kdgar
Allan 1'oe , in his "Masque of the
Ked Death , " deteribcd a plague , the
main symptom of which was a bleed
ing from the pores of the body.
In Central American the Ued
Death is personified in the Wood
Snake , or , as the Spaniards call it ,
Vivorn Sangte. Thin snake is of a
red-tinged black on the back , while
underneath it is of a bright vermil
ion. Its deadly work is easily rec
ognisable in the condition of the
victim. An Indian cattleman , find
ing a cow bleeding at the nose , eyes
and ears , and perspiring blood at
every pore , does not hesitate to blame
it on Vivorn Sangre. Unfortunate
ly , the effect upon the human being
is the mmi\ and our Indian friend
quite realizes it when be lights a
cheroot , gathers bis blanket around
him , and stoically sits down to await
the meeting with bis forefathers.
FOUND GREAT CAVE.
The gold prospectors recently dis
covered in the Santa Susanna moun
tains , about fifty miles from Los
Angeles , Cal. , the largest and most
remarkable cave in western America.
While looking for indications of
gold they found an opening. The
opening led to a great cavern con
sisting of many passages , some of
them wide , hut most of them nar
row and lofty. The passages led
into great halls , some containing an
acre , studded with stalagmites and
talaeitcs , in some eases so thickly
lint it is dillieult to get through.
The walls of one of these halls are
overed with rude drawings , some
nlomst obliterated , hut others still
lear. The drawings represent inci-
ilentH of the chase , showing Indians
on foot pursuing bear , deer and
other animals. One wall painting
ihows the bear pursuing the hunter.
PEW RIGHTS IN ENGLAND.
The legality of a claim to a fam-
ly pew was raised at Carlisle Con
sistory court yesterday.
Permission was granted for aller-
iitions to Hesket church , Cumber
land , which will necessitate the re
moval from the chancel of a family
pew , the occupants of which ap
plied for a fresh pew in its place.
The applicant , Captain .lames , of
Mai-rock Lodge , claimed that bis
family bad used the pew for nearly
hundred years , and that they bad
incestors buried beneath it.
Chancellor Preseott ruled that the
family bad no legal right to tin
pew. The privilege bad been grant-
? d to a former owner of Harroek
Lodge , and could not be transferred
to subsequent owners of the estate.
London Daily Mail.
CURIOSITY IN BULGARIA.
Prof. Do Launay says that there
is in Hulgaria a group of natural
: olumns much like the Giant's
Causeway in Ireland. (3n ( the edge
of a plateau in the open count n
rises this forest of natural columns.
rt'bieh gives the impulsion of an an
tique ruin. The columns , which are
ibout fifteen to twenty feet high ,
ire absolutely cylindrical , and they
ire often as much as three feet
Ihiek. The stratification of the rock
resembles joints , and vertical erosion
lue to rain has formed Doric flnt-
A DUTCH "SCENE. "
TOO MANY NOTES.
Subscriber ( to editor--I've.gol )
something here 1 want yon to maki
o
a note of.
Editor Can't do it. Three in tlu
bank now , and one gone to protest
TACT.
" 1 want to look at some falsi
hair , " said the lady to the clerk.
"Right this way , madam. Wha
color does your friend want ? " sail
the clerk. For be knew his businesf
SOMETIMES.
Pruo Do you think it's possibl
li for a girl to get over a love nffai
idU in six months ?
) U Dolly Yes , if she marries him.-
Hnrper's Weekly.
PUBLIC SALE
Having sold my farm preparatory to moving south , I will sell at
public sale at my farm 12 miles .northeast of Falls City and 6 miles north
of Rule , on
FRIDAY , DEC. 13 , 1907
HEAD © F H0RSES
consisting ; of four mares and four horses , all good work animals.
7 HEAD OF
consisting- three milk cows , one heifer and two calves.
Ten tons of millet hay , all my farm implements and tools of all kinds ;
household goods , some stove wood and other articles too numerous to
mention.
o
AH sums of $10 or less cash. On sums over that amount a credit
of 9 months will be given on bankable note , without interest if paid
when due. If not so paid 8 per cent will be charged from date. Three
per cent discount for cash. Terms must be complied with before remov =
ing purchcises.
Lunch on the Ground.
C. H. MARION , Auctioneer.
Panic Absurd Roosevelt
Washington , Nov. 17. Presi-
ent Roosevelt gave out a state
ment toiiiuht in connection with
be $50,000,000 Panama bond [ >
in- and the $100,000,000 certiti-
: nte issue announced by the Sec-
etnry of Treasury. The Presi
dent says that what is needed most
nt this time is that the people
ibonld "realize bow fundamental
y Bound business conditions in
.bis country are , and how absurd
t is to permit UieniBelves to net
nto n panic and create H stringen-
by hoarding their snvings in
stead of trusting perfectly sound
banks. " The President's letter
; o Secretary Cortelyon follows :
"The White House , Washing
ton , Nov. 17 , 1907.
"My Dear Mr. Cortelyou : 1
have considered your proposal. I
approve the issue of the $50,000-
000 of Panama bonds , which will
immediately available as the
basis for additional currency. 1
also approve the issue of $100,000-
000 , or so much as you may find
necessary , of $50 o-per-cent inter
est bearing government notes , the
proceeds of the sale of which can
j at once deposited by yon where
the greatest need exists , and es-
pet-wily in the west * and south
where the- crops have to be moved.
1 have assurance that the leaders
of Congret-s are coiib'ulering n
currency bill which will meet in
permanent fashion the needs ul
the. situation , iind which I believt
will be passed ut tin early datt
after Congress convenes two week *
hence.
"What is most needed just nt
present is tlmt our citizens shuild
reali/e bow fundamentally Kouiul
hiiriint'fri conditions in this coun
try are and bow absurd it is to
permit themselves to get into a
panic and cieate n Htiingency oy
hoarding their savings instead of
trusting perfectly sound banks.
There is no particle of risk invol
ved in letting business talce its
natural course , and the people can
help themselves and the country
most by putting back into active
circulation the money they nre
hoarding. The banks and trust
companies are solvent. There is
more currency in the country to
day than there was a month ago ,
when the supply wns ample. Fif
ty-five million dollars in gold has
been imported and the govern
ment has deposited already ( iO
million dollarn. These are facts ,
find I appeal to the public to co
operate with us in restoring nor-
mill business conditions. T b e
government will HOO that the people
ple don't sutVer if only the people
themselves , will act in a normal
way. Crops nre good and busi
ness conditions are sound ; and we
should put the money we have in
to circulation at once to meet the
needs of our abounding prosperity.
" 1'here is no analogy at nil with
the way things were in ISM. On
November 150 of that year there
was in the treasury but lb'1 mil
lion dollars in gold. On Novem
ber M of this year there was in
the treasury HOI million dollars of
gold. Ten years ago the circula
tion per capita wns $2323 It it-
now S'Jtf.215. The steps that you
| now take , the ability of the gov
ernment to back them up and the
fact that not n particle uf ribk is
I
involved therein give the fullest
guarantees of the sound condition
of our trensurj. All that our people
ple bnve to do now is to go nhend
with their normal business in n
normal fashion nnd t b e whole
difficulty disappears ; nnd this end
will be achieved if each man will
net ns be normally does net , and
us the real conditions of the coun
try's business fully wnrrnnt bis
now noting. Sincerely yours.
THEODOKE HOOSKVELT.
Don't worry about yoiir kidneys
when you can obtain HO days' treatment
of Plnoulcs for $1.00. These little
ulobulcs brlnp relief In the first dose.
Backache , Lumbago and Rheumatism
i yield quickly. If not MitUfied your
money refunded. This is > n fulr offer
you ean' lose. Sold by A. G. Wanner ,
30-Cent Butter
Butter is ; 5u cents n pound , nnd
will so higher. Tins stimulntes n
rural poet to say : "Into the cow
lot bright nnd pay , The milkmaid
bustles from dny to tiny. And
gathers the nlctenl fluid white ,
While the morning sun is yet out
of sight. And e'en when the eve
ning sunlight fails , Again she
bustles her milkimpnils , And
seeks in ibe cows with their friend.
ly tails , That fount of wealth
which seldom fnile. Hot winds
may blow , nnd the gnibshoppers
bop , And the bugs nnd the blix-
aurds muy tnke the crop : But so
long ns the streams of milk don't
stop , The milk maid nnd cows will
come out on top. "
Reaches the spot.
Stops pain. The
Great Pila Rein-
eciy. Put up in
tubes with rectal
nozzle , 50 cents.
It ib cliiiiiu'd ii ' . -uuii ' - ; , ! < N'it
tional disease. Th.ii-ivh- i. ( i < Mi.iml
for Uincs n."j . ) > 3l i r illi-t- Hfi pin -
i- tii M di > I'Mwork. .
tidii. i > iit''i : ' fo . V"'M. q i nrfty Two
day ? u fittin ( it. fretAM < jnur drujr-
tri t n'Hiiii , M fin. Si'ucyA ' d. Wanner
drugsiiit.
The Companion as a Christmas
Gift
Nobody is too yonngnobody too \ * *
old , to enjoy rending The Youth's
Companion. For that reason it
makes one of the most nppropriate
of Christmas gifts one of the few
whose actual worth fur outweighs
the cost. Welcome as the pHper
may be to the casual reader on the
train , at the olllce , in the public
library , it is , after all , the pnj.tr of
the home. The regularity and
frequency of its visits , the cordi l
sincerity of its tone , make for it
soon the place of a familiar friend
in the house Like a good friend ,
too. itstnmls always for those
traits nnd qualities whib nre typi
fied in ibe ideal hume. and nre the
n nation's health nnd t-
j true prosperity. TB there another
Christmas present costing to lili'e '
thnt equals it ? ,
j On receipt of $1.75 , the yearly
subscription price , the publishers
M-ml the new subscriber nil the
remaining isf-ueb of The Compan
ion for 11)07 ) and the Four-Leaf
Hanging Calendar for IflOS in full
! color.
j Full illustrated Announcement
! of the new volume for 11)08 ) will
j be sent with sample copies of the
[ paper to any nddress free.
I The Youth's Companion ,
114-1 Berkeley St. , Boston , Mnes.