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About The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191? | View Entire Issue (Oct. 4, 1907)
, , THE PALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , OCTOBER 4 , 1907 CONVERTS TO MOSLEM FAITH Philadelphia Has Coterie of Citizens Who Follow the Teachings of Mahomet. "Probably tbc fact thnt there nro n numlHjr of Buddhists in I'hilndcl- pbia is not news , " snys n local ob server , "but you may be surprised to learn that there is quite n gathering here of Americans who are Molwm- nicdnna that is , who have become converts to the Moslem faith. Their number is about 20 and they meet in one another's houses from time to time for worship. How they caino to join the Mohammedan faith is more than I know , but of the fact that they did there is no doubt. One of their number , who formerly lived in Turkey , has been the chief pros- elyter , and it has been his function to translate and comment upon the Koran , or Mohammedan Bible. The circle is very exclusive and seeks to avoid notice. At present its mem bers are scattered among the sum mer resorts , as they arc mostly per sons of means. " Philadelphia Ucc- ord. . WHEN NOT TO SEE. The shabby spider met the pros perous mole. "You arc looking unusually well , " said the spider. "What are you fol lowing now ? " "Why , 1 am a government in spector. " rcpliqd the mole , with a sly wink. "Government inspector ? Why , T was a government inspector and couldn't make salt. ] have eight eyes , too. " The mole smiled. "That's just the trouble. You saw too much. licmcmber , T am blind. That's why I make a good government inspector. " , WOMAN DOING GOOD WORK. Dr. Mary Stone , who is the head of an American hospital in Kiuk- lang , central China , lately returned to this country to be operated np- on for appendicitis. She has recov ered , is now in New York and will return to China in the fall. She graduated from Ann Arbor ten years ago and is said to be the only educated physician in a province containing 5,000,000 people. Last year she personally treated more than 14,000 patients. NO MORE DEADLOCKS. Old Lawyer Yes , sir , I'm in favor of woman jurors. If we had women to fix np the verdicts there would he no more disagreements or deadlocks. Young atto'rncy How do you fig ure that out ? Old Lawyer All that would be necessary to get a quick verdict would be to send a newspaper to the jury room containing a bargain advertisement good for that day only. Chicago Daily News. A CHANCE FOR HER. "What I would like , " said the sagcr young actress , "is a part with a death scene in it. I never fail to make a big hit when I die. " "I don't doubt it , " replied the heartless manager , "and I may say that you would make the biggest hit of your life if you would go away somewhere and die right now. " MARK TWAIN , PHILOSOPHER. Mark Twain is n philosopher who uses laughter as his medium ; when he jests it would seem as though he did so out of kindliness. He puts on the cap and bells instead of crown or mitre , but with the same purpose. London New Age. REJECTED AT ONCE. "I have a book which I am sure will fill a long-felt want , " said the writing man , humbly. "It won't do , " answered the pub lishers. "The books that sell most ire those which everybody agrees should never have been written. " ACCOUNTED FOR IT. Towne Ho has no regard for any one else ; he has no milk of human kindness. Browne Oh ! I wouldn't say that. He's a very small man , you know. Probably he has it , but it's con- denseu. BOILING. "Your customs are enough to make any civilized man boil ! " ex claimed the missionary indignantly. "With the help of a little dry wood , " assented the cannibals grave ly. Puck. TO HARNESS OCEAN TIDES Experiments Made In Maine Show Progress Toward Success That Will Mean Much. Great progress toward successful harnessing of the tided by which it is hoped to save the vast amount of tidal energy now going to waste and devote 'it to the operation of mills , quarries , factories and other estab lishments needing a driving force is being made in South Thomaston , Me. Experiments on an extensive scale are being conducted , mid it is hoped may solve the problem which has taxed the inventire minds of engineers all over the world. A basin with an area of a little more than one square mile is being used for the operations , and a 12-foot rise in the tide makes it well adapted for the work. Promoters of the experiment plan to store the tide power in com pressed air apparatus and transmit it to lime quarries and factories along the coast by a pipe line. RURAL FREE DELIVERY. "The rural free-del5very system has caused us no end of extra work , " said the publisher of a trade journal that has a large country circulation. "Probably not even the postal authorities realize so clearly as the man who has a heavy country correspondence how rapidly the rural free-delivery system has grown in the last two years. The books containing the address of our country correspondents and sub scribers have had to be entirely overhauled. Scores of little post of fices have literally been wiped oil' the list , and John Smith and hun dreds of other men who formerly had their mail addressed to their home village are now on route num ber two , three or four of the deliv ery system of a good-sized town. " HER BRILLIANT IDEA. Professor Some of the grandest inventions of the age have been the result of accidental discoveries. Young Lady 1 can readily be lieve it. Why I made an important discovery myself , and it was the purest accident , too. "I shoulr much like to hear it. " "Why , I found that , by keeping a bottle of ink handy , a fountain pen can be used just the same as any other pen without any of the bother and mess of filling it. " PERFECTLY HARMLESS. f The old bachelor was dining at the home of a newly-married friend. "Have a piece of this cake , Mr. Oldbach , " said the fair hostess. "I made it myself , " "Thanlc you , " rejoined Oldbach , "but 1 er seldom eat cake. " "Oh , you needn't be afraid of it , Oldbach , " said the host. "I tried a piece of it on a tramp this morn ing. " WANTS NO YOUNG WOMEN. The chief of the Ghent police , who is organizing a brigade of police women , proposes to take on none ex cept women of from -10 to f)0. At that age h6 thinks the sex has reached years of discretion , and has sufficient experience of life and hu man nature. A COMPLIMENT. Mrs. Ncwliwed Mr. Kakeloigh had the audacity to say I was "ugly as sin. " Mr. Nowliwcd My dear , coming from Rakeleigh , that's a compli ment. He proves by his general con duct that he considers sin anytliiuy but ugly. WELL-MEANING , BUT "So you don't like Mr. Bliggins ? " "No , " answered Miss Cayenne. "He is very clumsy. " "But he means well. " "Yes. He is one of those people who think it doesn't matter how much damage they do if they say 'Excuse me. ' " ON TO HIM. "You know , " said Bragg , "I ex pect to spend my vacation on a steam yacht. " "How foolish ! " exclaimed Knox. "Why don't you take a rest instead of looking for extra work ? Besides stoking is such a hot job. " PUNISHMENT FOR BIGAMY. Bigamists in Hungary are com pelled to submit to an odd punish ment. The man who has married two wives is legally forced to live with both of them , in tire same home. LEGAL RIGHTS OF SNORERS Judlcl.il Determination That It Is Not "Cruel and Inhuman" Treatment Settles One Point. Tlic fact has been judicially es tablished that snoring is not such "cruel and inhuman treatment' ' as to constitute just and legal grpunds for divorce. The decision is of great value to the rest of mankind. It fixes a precedent whereby a man or woman may be protected in the right to snore , and , moreover , to snore loudly. It is a privilege and hereafter , by exercising it , neither husband nor wife ia risking judicial separation. There are many persona who will bo thankful to the court for its exact and logical interpretation of the law and proud of the legal vindication of their rights as snorcrs. Naturally , there will be also others not so thankful. These others arc merely listeners , who know nothing of the delights of snoring. They arc misanthropes and fault-finders. They will resent the decision of the learned judge. Louisville Courier- Journal. TOO CLEAR. One My complexion Is very clear , don't jou think ? The Olhui Yes , iiuleud. Any one can see through It ! THE EMERGENCY CASE. While on the march in India the pioneer corporal of a famous Irish regiment went to the quartermaster for a loan of a camel to carry a spare tent , but the quartermaster refused , saying , "I have only a cart , and this spare camel 1 am keeping for a case of emergency. " The corporal said , "Can't you put the case of emergency on the cart , and let me have the camel ? " Judge's Library. MYRIADS OF MOONS. "What section of the country would you consider to bo the best place for observing the moon ? " asked the scientific chap who had been reading about the clear atmos phere. "I don't know , " replied the drum mer , "but I'll tell you the best place for observing the moons. " "Moons ? " "Yes , honeymoons at Niagara falls. " JOHNNY KNEW. A class of boys were given a les son in geography , each having a book containing a description of the earth before him. Suddenly the teacher called on one of the young sters ( who had been paying little at tention to what was being said ) to answer the following question : "Johnny where is Europe ? " "Page 08 , " was the boy's reply. " Judge's Library. ABOUT THE SIZE OF IT. "Hunting for contentment , " re marked the home-grown philosopher , "is a good deal like hunting for a flea. " "What's the explanation ? " queried the very young man. "When you get where it is you find it has just left , " answered the philosophy dispenser. OF COURSE. "Do you know that beautiful woman over there ? " "Know her ! She made a fool of me five years ago. Come over and I'll introduce you. " "You're still on speaking terms with her ? " "Yes , she's been my wifr for five years. " Houston Post. WHAT HE KNEW. The architect insisted upon hav ing his way as to the dimensions oi rooms and halls. "You do not understand these things , " he said to the owner. "But I understand the dimen sions of u mortgage all right , " Bait the owner , sadly. LED TO FAME AND RICHES Jocular Advice Given by Electrical Engineer Resulted In Founding of Great News Agency. Werner von Siemens , a German lectrical engineer , was commis sioned in 1850 to lay the first tele- ; rnph line between Verviers and Co logne. While he was laying this cable a pretty woman caino to him and besought him to desist. The telegraph , she said , with tears in her \Yes , would ruin her husband's busi ness and reduce him to penury. His business was the conduct of u huge and successful pigeon post between Brussels and Aix-lu-Clmpelle. Sie mens advised the young woman's husband to convert his pigeons into a pie , and to go to London and start a news agency there. Ho would give him , he said , valuable introduc tions. The man went to London and started a news agency. His name was Neuter. In a few short years , so successful was his new line of work , he had become a baron and a millionaire. This was the origin of the Kuropean counterpart of the Associated Pi'ess. THE CITY OF ROSES. Shiim itself is the most beautiful Persian city 1 saw. City of roses , city of poets , city of sunshine , it has always been famed for its loveliness. Under the brown hills and amid the gardens of roses and oranges there lived the poets Saadi and Ilnfiz and many another sweet Persian singer. Theneo has eomo any inspiration which has ever animated the nation ality of Persia ; nor does this seem strange to one who has known days spent in the brown-walled , eypress- sludded gardens and nights wrapped in soft stillness and bewitched by tin1 power of the mystic Persian moon. The Wide World Magazine. GOOD IDEA IN GEORGIA. Gov. and Mrs. lloko Smith have established a new idea in their enter tainment at the mansion in Atlanta. They are inviting the unmarried men of the legislature to meet the young society girls of the stale , and in that way will no doubt do their share in ridding Georgia of the ob noxious bachelor. The entertain ments arc said to be simple as re gards dress , but most picturesque and artistic in every way , even the "simple" gowns of the girls being Unify creations of loveliness. THE FIRST BABY. Dr. Woods Hulchinsou writes about Sleep in the September Amer ican Magazine. Of the sleep of children he says : "In the earliest days of infancy , 15 to 18 hours are required for the recuperative process. So astoundingly somnolent are young Imbics that I was once con sulted by an anxious father who ex pressed great uneasiness lest his baby's brain should not develop properly because it slept so much of the time. Needless to say it was his first. " ENDURABLE. "You are sentenced to six months in jail , " said the court. "But , your honor , " protested the convicted trust gentlemen , "who will attend to robbing the public during that period ? " "The novelty of not being roblxxl will so divert the public that any sense of loss will not bo acute , " re sponded the court. A SIMILARITY. "Them mosquitoes , " remarked Farmer Corntos el irritably , "makes me think of them city visitors we had week before last. " "How's that Hiram ? " asked his patient wife. "They come pretty near bein' the worst singers an' the biggest eaters I BEYOND COMPUTATION. "Are there many mosquitoes around here ? " "Young man , " answered Farmer Corntossel , "that's a mighty ban : question to answer. They're so big an' spry that you can't tell whether there's a whole lot or only a few There ain't no time to count 'em. " COMPANIONS. Miles Do you tolicve , with Ba con , that reading maketh a full man ? Giles Not necessarily. But J have noticed that a full man and an empty pockctbook usually go hand in hand. Pride of Smoker May Be Said to Have Had Origin In Accidental Ex perience of Shoemaker. More than n century and a half ago there lived In Pcsth , Hungary , a shoemaker , by name Karol Ko- wates. Among his many patrons was Count Andrassy , who was once , the recipient of u huge lump of meerschaum. lie handed it to Ko- wates , the shoemaker , ordering him to experiment on the new material , and , if possible , fashion from it a pipe. Kowatcfl cut two pieces from the block and smoked one himself. The hands of the shoemaker were waxy , and the meerschaum became waxed hero and there while Kowates smoked. He found after some little time that wherever the pipe had /eon waxed a spot of pale brown ap peared like a stain. Still experi menting , he waxed the entire pipe , which now , after habitual smoking , grew to a most beautiful even brown. Incidentally , the pipe smoked sweet er than before. Meerschaum then sprang into popularity. AMERICAN INGENUITY. Give the American engineer enough money and he will accom plish any task , lie will build a railroad to the moon and enlarge the canals on Mars , llo will turn the How of the Mississippi up stream , dam the Niagara , bridge the ocean or build a subway through the earth to China. Did you know there was talk at one time of con structing a railroad on the bosom of the Hudson from hero to Troy ? Fael. Tlie rails were to ho laid on pontoons. The minutiae of the de tail was astounding. NEW IDEA IN PENSIONS. A labor candidate for a vacant seat in the Austrian parliament at Sydney has hit upon a novel and orilliant idea "young-age pen sions , " on the ground that they are "wise and merciful , and would be commercially profitable to the com monwealth. " He adds that they would conduce to good citizenship and "enable the struggling parents of largo families to bring up their children decently and with credit alike to themselves and the com munity. " GOT BACK AT HIM. "So you want to marry my daugh ter , eh ? " said the stern father. "Can you support her in the style to which she has been accustomed ? " "Well I'm hot- , not throwing any - lioiibo plants at myself , " replied the young man in the case , "but I can support her a great deal better than you could ever have done if it hadn't been for your wife's money. " NO SUCH DENOMINATION. Tourist They ( ell me , little girl , your grandfather is the oldest man in the village. Little Girl ( with filial pride ) He's that , sir. Tourist How old is he ? Is he a nonagenarian ? Little Girl ( indignantly ) No , ho ain't , sir ! He's over 1)0 ) and he's a good Methodist. PROMISING CHIP. "My son , " said the aged trust magnate , "bo honest , upright , and above all things be truthful. Never tell n lie. ' "I won't , father ! " answered the noble boy , with flashing eye , dilated nostril , and glowing cheek. "I'll re fuse to answer ! ' OR A SIX-RING CIRCUS. Billy Yes , mamma says that old chap Argus had a hundred eyes. Bobby A hundred eyes ! Whew ! But couldn't he enjoy a baseball game , though ? THE CAUSE OF HIS BIAS. "You insist on the old-time ideas of a state of future punishment ? ' "Yes , " answered the embittered person. "You see , I know so many people for whom nothing else would be suitable. " DOWN IN BACON RIDGE. Silas And you wouldn't vote for them to put two extra stories on the Echoolhouse , Cy ? Cyrus No , by gum ! I am op posed to the "higher education. " HIS VOW. Patience Did he ever take any marriage vows ? .Patrice Oh , yes ; lie vowed he'd never get married ! Yonkere States man. HAD ITS SERIOUS SIDE Postmaster Agreed with Drummer aa to Status of Arguments Concern ing "Nature Faking. " "This 'nature faker * argument is getting to be quite serious , isn't it ? " interrogated the hat drummer as ha lit another stogie. "By heck , yes ! " drawled the post master of Bacon Itidgo. "Sile Wheatly and Josh Bitters got to ar guing -in here the other morning aa to whether it was 'faker1 or 'fak-ir' and l > eforo they got through , wljy , Silo lost his temper and hit Josh with a leather mail pouch and Josh retaliated by grabbing Uncle Sam's post-marking machine and post marking 'Bacon Itidgo' in indelible ink right on Silo's forehead. During the scrimmage somebody stepped on the old hound's tail and ho turned a somersault and let out a howl that started the cry 'mad dog ! ' This brought a great crowd of loafers armed with clubs and buckets oC water and when it was all over somebody had swiped ten dollars' worth of Jamestown stamps. Yes , neighbor , this natute-fakcr business is quite serious. " ABANDONED THE STRUGGLE. "Didn't you ever have any ambi tion in life ? " asked the austere matron standing in the kitchen door. "Wunst , ma'am , " said Tuffolcl Knutt , sighing deeply. "I Imvo not allus led this butterfly existence. Many years ago , ma'am , I tried to raise a pair o' elegant sidowhiskers , but they wouldn't grow. Since then I haven't had no heart to do any thing. " This mournful story failing to awaken her sympathies , he shambled on to the next house. Chicago Tribune. MEMORIES OF JOSEPHINE. Now that Mttlmaison has reverted to the French nation , possessors of objects once associated with it all the world over are showing them selves quite eager to restore them to the place so inseparably associat ed with the sad romance of Bona parte's unfortunate empress. The Bonaparte legend may be dead enough ; the Josephine legend is not. Her harp is the latest object to find its way back. CONFLICTING AMBITIONS. "Papa , " said the fashionable daughter , " 1 must have my appendix - dix cut out. All the girls are doing it now. " "All right , " responded the old man , "but in that case I'll cut out the automobile you've been talking about. " As .he went downtown the girl was thinking it over. Philadelphia Public Ledger. HOW FURS ARE KEPT. In its cold storage one London drapery firm sometimes has 150- , 000 worth of furs in safe keeping for customers , including all kinds of fur garments , from peeresses' robes to motor coats. The cold air is a protection against moths , and their being also kept in complete dark ness greatly improves many furs. NOVEL GAS MANTLES. Egg shells as gas mantles is an idea from Germany. The contents are drawn or blown out , the ends are neatly cut elf , and the body of the shell is fixed in position like the regular article. The light thus ob tained is very good , while the new- form of mantle is much more dur able. DISPLEASURES OF HOPE. "I like a man who takes a hopeful view of things , " remarked the criti cal person. "Yes , " answered young Mrs. Tor- kins , "a hopeful view of things is very nice until n man gets to play ing the races and overdoes it. " STRONG PART. "You say your big brother is with an opera company now ? " "Yes , ma'am. " "lias ho a strong part ? " "Yes , ma'am ; why , he's one of the fellers that hit the anvil in the anvil chorus ! " THE EXACT REASON. "Why do girls marry notorious drunkards and scoundrels ? " "Because the party of the second part ask 'cm to , Harold. Any time , you want to know anything , come to me. " Washington Herald. _ _