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About The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191? | View Entire Issue (Sept. 20, 1907)
THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , SEPTEMBER 20 , 1907 ADVISED A HAIR CUT Henry Irvlng's Gently Humorous Re ply to "Nervy" Begging Letter Writer. "London is n true bohcmia for the artist and man of the world , " said Ernest Moore , an artist of the British capital , who is here painting the portrait of Ambassador Bryce. ' For that reason , " he went on , "actors , journalists , and men of that type like to go there. They have n rattling good time. In their clubs they meet congenial spirits from everywhere. Henry Irving , whom I knew well , was always a friend of all these people. He was one of theTkindliest characters I ever knew , and he had n most remarkable memory. lie would go to n hotel and learn the name of the porter who handled his luggage. lie might not see the porter again for five x years , but then he would remember his face and name and call out fa miliarly : 'Hello , John. ' Once , when 1 was with him , ho received a note from n man in Paris. . .Thes man said he had a remarkable re- EOinblnncc to Sir Henry and had been accosted on the street time and time again. He asked what ho should do to get rid of the people who pestered him. and incidentally asked for a loan of i'o. Sir Henry took the lime to sit down and write the man a note. He inclosed half a crown and advised the man to get his hair cut. " Washington Post. HE WALKED. Staylalght I think walking Is the best exercise. I'm a great walker my- seJf. seJf.Miss Miss Weerle Are you ? I'd Just aw fully love to see you walk , don't you know ? SHERLOCK HOLMES AT FAULT. Sherlock Holmes languidly drained the bubbling , hissing prussic - sic acid his last , most deadly Imhit. "My wear Watson , " he mur mured , "my tic is crooked. " J tarted , as he know I would. "Xow , Holmes , " I said , "how can YOU be aware of that ? You haven't put your hand to your tie for the last two hours , and there isn't a mirror anywhere in sight. You claim to have no supernatural gifts in what way , then , can you possi bly know that your tie is crooked ? " "That man over there , " said Sherlock Holmes , calmly , "looked at my tie a moment ago , and then straightened his own tic with both hands. " "Wonderful ! " \ cried. "Amaz ing ! Only , Holmes , your tie isn't crooked. " THE CANADIAN HABITANT. " ' "I - I t The rural population of French Canada is unlike that of any other country. The habitant is the result of peculiar conditions. Transplanted originally from the north of Franco , the stock has been modified and transformed by the environment of the now world. It retains the simplicity and poetic temperament of the old stock , com bined with a measure of the vigoi and self-reliance of pioneer life. And , with it all , remarks a corre spondent of the nation , in an appre ciative tribute to the patois poetry of the late Dr. William Henry Dnimmond , the habitant remains tc this day almost untouched by the influence of modern civilization , liv ing his life in his own sufficient way , oblivious of many things that the rest of us think indispensable. CORRECTLY INFORMED. Hoax Know that man on the corner ? Mars No. Hoax Well , if you should eve : form his acquaintance , beware oi Irim. He is one of those nie'n who Ircat a fellow and then make him pay for it. Marks You don't say ! Hoax Fact. He's a physician , Home Magazine. I "MARIA THINGUMAJIG. " Foreign Names Bothered Americans In the Olden Days. International marriages nrc , In these Juys of truvclj more common tlwu4ttiey used to be ; hut they were not un known to our ancestors of n century tgo , and were least rare , It seems , In ionic of the old seafaring families. Old-time'aea captains made friends In many lands , and wore occasionally ac companied on board by some adven turous daughter , eager , like Lord Uateman of the ballad , "far countries for tq see. " One such , who traveled ns far as Hussla , did not return ; she remained there as the wlfo of a pros perous Russian merchant. Her father's fellow-townsmen were naturally Interested to hear all about the match on his return , Bays the Youth's Companion , but there was one Important pleco of Information they never obtained ; the bride's married name. It was so unpronouncahle that the good captain declined even to attempt It. Ho always spoke of his daugh ter as "my gal who married n fur- finerj" his mother called her "my grnnddnrtcr over In Uooshy , " and everybody else fell Into the way of saying simply and not nt all jocular ly : "Maria Thingumajig. " Another old sea captain had two charming girls who accompanied him to Prance , both of whom married Frenchmen. French Is a less dlfllcult tongue than Russian , but the old man's ear was not good , and the two brides , on their first visit home , were some what chagrined at the havoc ho made with their names. They had become Mine. Garotte and Mine. Lo Boutllller ; but he Intro duced them cheerfully io strangers as Mrs. Leo Bottles and Mrs. Carrots. They gently remonstrated against such a perversion of their names , but In vain ; he could achieve nothing better until a compromise was i cached , In ac cordance with which he ceased to try to pronounce them at all. Therefore when an Introduction be came necessary , he presented "My darter , Mrs. Nancy n. , " or "My dar ter , Mrs. Polly C. , " adding , genially , "and If ye want the full of her name In French , she'll tell ye on askln" . She speaks the language. " Seven Ages of the Chinese. A French officer , Louis De Chantllly , tells of his discovery In a Buddhist convent In the mountains of Tonkin of a dusty manuscript containing the Chinese version of the seven ages of man. "At ten years old , " says the writer , whose name has long been forgotten , "tho boy has a heart and a brain as soft as the tender shoots of a young bamboo. At 20 ho Is like a green banana ; ho Is just beginning to ripen In warm raya of common sense. "Thirty years sees him developed into a buffalo. He is strong and lusty , full of bodily and mental vigor. This Is the true ago of love ; It Is the ago for him to marry at. "At 40 years the prosperous man has grown to bo a mandarin and wears a coral button. But It would bo truly Indiscreet to confine to him at this early age any functions calling for ju dicial Intelligence or calm. When ho reaches 50 years , however , although ho has grown stout and lleshy , he la fit to hold any municipal or state olllce ; he can administer a city or a province or perform any offi cial duty. "But at CO years he is old. Handi craft and all active bodily activities are beyond him. He gives his de pendents and clients advice. That is all he Is fit for. "At 70 he Is Just a dry straw. He has only one care to husband the breath of life that is left in him , to preserve It , even by artificial means , Ills sons must assume the care of his estate and the performance of 'his du > ties. " Named Pills as Weapons. An extraordinary duel , which at the time created an immense sensation was one In which the decision was ar rived at not by swords or pistols but by means of a deadly poison , says Pall Mall Gazette. The men , who , I ! Is hardly necessary to say , had fallen out over a lady , had left the arrange ments of details to their seconds , and until they faced each other they did not know by what method they were to settle their differences. One of the seconds was a doctor and he had made up for the occaslor four black pellets , all Identical Ir size and shape. "In one of these , " he said , "I have placed a sufficient quan tlty of prusslc acid to cause the al most Instantaneous death of anyone who swallows It. "We will decide by the toss of t coin which of you Is to have first choice , and you will alternately draw and swallow a pill until the polsor shows Its effect. " Two of the pel lets were then taken as the toss hai decided but without effect In elthei case. ' "This time , " said the doctor , speak Ing of the two pellets remaining , "yoi must both swallow the pill at the sam < instant. " The choice was again made and In a few seconds one of the me : lay dead on the grass. Married Man's Umbrella. A clergyman has posted the follow Ing at the Leeds ( Eng. ) church Inatl tute : "As the gentleman who tool the married man's umbrella (26-lncl ( ribs ) in exchange for a bachelor's urn brella (24-Inch ( rlba ) of the same pat tern from the church Institute on th afternoon of April 1C can have no pi ; Bible use for it , he cau cnmo Ir.'o pur aetalou of his own again hv a } plylni to the cratury. " COSMETIC BATHS OF 1830 Years Ago Women Sought Aids to Oeauty as They Are Reputed to > Do To-Day , The following rules for cosmetic baths inny be of interest to-ila.v ; they arc taken from a ladies maga zine published in Boston 75 years ago : An aromatie bath Tnko one or more of the following aromatic herbs : Balm , sweet basil , marjor am , hysson , lavender , mint , or any other herb that has an agreeable scent ; boil in a sufllcicut quantity of rain or river water for the space of three or four minutes ; strain oft the liquor , anil add to it a little brandy or camphorated' spirits of wine. This is said to be an excel lent bath to strengthen the limbs ; it removes pain , the consequence of cold , and promoted perspiration. A cosmetic bath Take two pounds of barley or meal , eight pounds of bran and a few hand fills of borage leaves. Boil these ingre dients in a sullieient quantity of spring water. This both cleanses and softens the skin in a superior degree. An emollient bath for the feet Boil in a sullioionl quantity of wa ter n pound of bran , with a few marsh-mallow roots , and two or three hand fills ok mallow leaves. CANNON BALLS OF STONE. On either side of the entrance to the naval asylum on 0ray's ferry road , is an immense stone sphere , measuring about Ho inches in diam eter. There is a legend that these were used or intended for use in n Turkish mortar , "the largest piece of ordnance in the world. These balls were given to the in stitution soon after its founding by Commodore .1. I ) . Elliott , who ob tained them during a cruise on the fvigate Constitution in European waters. An inscription on one of the balls relates that they were ol- tnined on the Asiatic side of the Dardanelles , and it is within the realms of possibility that the Turks may have intended them to serve as shot in a mortar. It is also more than probable that with sufli- cicnt power to project them the stones would have been badly shat tered. Commodore Elliott presented them in IS.'JS , and ever since then they have ornamented the- entrance and mystified curious visitors. Philadelphia Public Ledger. JAPAN'S SEAWEED CROP. \ One would hardly suppose that a person could get rich gathering sea weed. On the face , such an indus try would seem as profitless as the extraction of gold from sea water. Yet the income ofJapan for pen- weed each year amounts to $2,000- 000. Entire towns upon the coast of Japan are devoted to this queer in dustry. Ifcconll } ' the government took up the cultivation of sea grasses , offering prims for the best method of increasing the yield and for producing iodine from sen plants. The coarser varieties of sea grass are stowed in soups ; other kinds are used in the manufacture of glue , plaster and starch. Farmers living near the coast use the coarse , ropy kelp for fertiliz ing their land , with good results. FATHERLY SOLICITUDE. Miss McFlimsy Papa , I must have $500 at once ; I have positively nothing to wear. Mr. McKllmsy Does your inothei know you're out ? CLEVER AT THAT. "Who is that seedy-looking man over there ? " "That's . He'sa Morroughs. -a real master ut couatrtietihg short Moric.O "Oh , an author , oh ? " "No. I ncn- : ! -.t \ . " . > ' . . - any number of * ' ' * . > u.i . , . - , . ' , , llL-'d Iliol.c. " 'it HAD POOR IDEA OF FUN Messenger Boy's "Joke" In This Case Was Connected with Working Recoil Attachment. A boy who wna until recently em ployed as a messenger at one of the local telegraph ollicos has an over weening sense of humor , says the Duluth News-Tribune. It is of the penetrating typo , which nearly al ways furnishes the laugh for him alone and regrets for the other fol low , lu fact , ho recently left the employ of the company rather un ceremoniously because of it. Uusi- ness was dull one day and , overcome by ennui , the hey in quest ion went to the telephone. Jle culled up the home of one of the other employes and asked for the Intter's mother. " 1 am awfully sorry to have to tell you , Mrs. Blank , " he said , "but your son was just run over and had his leg cut off. " Then he hung up. Fortunately the conversation was overheard and the frantic woman quickly reas sured. "Why did you do it ? " asked Uie manager. "Just for fun. " "Well , I know something funnier than that , " said the manager. "You get out of here just for fun and don't come back , just for fun or anything else1. " DAYS OF WHALING GONE. "Newfoundland's coastwise whale fishery , of which so much was ex pected , has utterly collapsed , " writes Consul Cornelius at St. .Johns. "Started about ten years ago , with modern steamers and equipment , the first operators did so well that from n single ship it grew to IT. The re sult wns iho speedy killing out of the herds of gignntic mammals , 1,500 of which were destroyed in a single year. Gradually , however , the catch fell oil' , and within the past year six or seven of the steam ers have been sold for similar work on the British Columbia and Jap anese coasts , while the companies owning them have gone into liquida tion. During the season of 1)07 ! ) it is not expected that there will be more than seven or eight whalers operating in all. " TOLD OF SECRETARY ROOT. When Secretary Hoot was al Pnnnma on his return from Sontli America , Gov. Mngoon gave him r dinner , at which were present vari ous dignitaries. An invited bankei who failed to appear called next daj with explanations. A birth had oc curred just at that lime in his fam ily , by which another girl had been nddcd to six predecessors. "Too had it wns not n boy , " snid Gov. Mngoon , "you might have called him Elihu Itoot. " " " "wo had do- "Oh , said the father , - cidcd to call him that if the child had been a hoy. Bn ) not being able to cnll the child exactly Ihal , I shal ! call her Hootino. " ARCTIC PHENOMENA. One of the peculiar phenomena ol the Arctic regions is "sea smoke. ' Explorers toll of a steam ns if frou n boiling kettle which rises from tin water when the temperature is If degrees below zero. At ! ( ) degree.1 the snow and humnii bodies emil this vapor , which changes into tin } icy particles which fill the air am make a light noise like the rustle ol silk. At10 degrees tree truiikf hurst with n loud report , rocks brcal up and streams of smoking watoi flow from great cracks in the earth' : surface , knives break in cutting but ler and lighted cigar * go out by con tact with the ice upon the beard. PREACHES NEW CREED. Benjamin Fay Mills , the wel known evangelist , is leaving the or thodox pulpit because its teaching ! nrc not nggrea i\o enough to sui him. He now is prom hing what hi terms a "doctrinoK s * doctrine. " H < is establishing a now church ii Edendale , which lies in the Sai Fernando valley , in California. Mr Mills has worked in every large cit ; in America. lie graduated at Laki Forest university , Illinois. He call his creed the fellowship. BUSINESS GOOD. "Our little town in booming , " sai < SububH , proudly ; "down in our busi ness section I heard a couple of trnv cling salesmen talking about it ver enthusiastically. " "Yes ? " said Citiman. "What lim were they in ? " ' - "Well or , one wa - . ' ! ! ! : , ' i ! -i and the other funurjl a i.j , . -j. " ALL CLEAR TO MANDY Why She Wan Positive Rejected Suitor Had Purloined One of Her Shirt Waists. The other evening over a dinner some southerners were swapping stories , and it was a big lumberman who is responsible for this yarn. "Colored folks are naturally su perstitious , and many of them down our way believe that a dead black cnt buried in a waist of Mandy's will bring Mandy's affections around to the undertaker. As a consequence of this idea one of our justices had a colored man brought before him accused of stealing Man- dy's waist. There was no evidence to prove his guilt , so Mandy was asked to explain. ' "Well ' snid 'it's , jcdgo , she , jca Ink dis. Dnt niggn been 'round nftn me lebbilo long time , 1m t I donn care for dat nigga , tell one day I goes long do potato patch an' I done ketch my too in an olc waist dug down in do ground , an' a black cnt buried in it , jcdgo. "Pwas my waist 1 see. ' "Hero Mandy paused , as if her evidence was complete. " 'Well , ' asked the justice , 'how does that prove ho stole it ? ' " 'Why , jedge , doan yon see ? ' ex claimed Mandy , impatiently. 'Ever since then 1 got a leanin' toward dnt niggn/ " A HOLE IN THE SKY. Caddy ( to Jones , who has lofted one higher than usual ) Ah , sir , If there was only n hole up there you'd ha' | holed out In one. I MAKING THINGS EASY. I It was hard to speak n dishenrt- j cning word to Ihe smiling Irish maid who seemed so eager to secure ! the situation , hut oven at the end I of three days spent in employment 'offices Mrs. Gregg's sense of justice was kocn. "I cannot let you come thinking you arc to have an onsy plnco , " she snid , with wistful earnestness , "for it isn't. There arc live of us and ( here's a great deal fo do. " "Oh , hut yon don't know me , inn'nm , " said ( ho dauntless maid. I can make 1111113' place 1 take nisy by jist Invin' out n little wurrlc hero an' a little wurrlc there , ma'am. "f Hint's nil Hint's troublin' yon you've no need to considther it nt nil ! " Youth's Companion. ENGLISH AND FRENCH ROADS. Ill England it is almost impos sible to attain speed with safety in motoring. The roads twist and turn and the walls and bodges prevent the driver's seeing what there is be yond n curve. An average pace of 25 miles an hour is fairly good time in England. Of course the country is nettled much more thickly than Franco , which adds to the daanger of speed ing. Speed laws are enforced with severity in England , but if you will try the mettle of your motor , cross the channel. In France the road is yours. Travel Maga/ino. MAKING GAS FROM1PEAT. Among the varied uses of peat that for the production of gas ia perhaps the least known. H hag boon used for this purpose , however , for the last .150 years in the steel works of Xotala , in Sweden. From 13,000 to 16,000 cubic yards of peat are thus used yearly. It costs rath er more than coal gas , hut has the advantage of containing scarce)1 ! any sulphur or phosphorus. In sev eral places in Europe peat gas is used for heating and in glass melt ing furnaces. EA9YI "What would you do if you wen in my place ? " asked the government clerk of a friend. I "Why , I'd simply dr.iw my just as you do ! " was the reply. RED SHIRT AN ACCIDENT Uniform Made Popular by Garabaldl Was Not the Result of Pre. arranged Plan. The most popular uniform of itn lay perhaps of any day in Eu rope was the ( laribaldi shirt , whoso jmisaio origin was little suspected > y its adorers. In a note to Mr. Prevelyan's Garibaldi's Defense of he Itoman Republic,1' this origin ia explained by Admiral Winninglon- Ingrnm , who wna In Montevideo in 18-1(5 ( , when and where the uniform was first assumed : "Its adoption was caused by the necessity of cloth ing ns economically as possible the newly-raised Garibaldi legion. A liberal offer having been made to the government to sell nt reduced prices n slock of red woolen shirta [ hat had been intended for the Bue nos Ayres market now closed through Ihe blockade it wtw thought to good a chance to ho neglected , ami the purchase was therefore effected. These goods had been intended to he worn by those employed in the Saladoros , or great slaughtering and salting establish ments for cat lie at Ensonada and other places in the Argentine prov inces , ns they made good winter clothing , while by their color they disguised in n measure the bloody work iho men had in hand. " Lon don T. P.-'s Weekly. WORLD'S TALLEST WOMAN. A charming and kindly disposi tion is hidden beneath the so'mewhnt impassive demeanor of Marie Fass- nauer. the world's tallest giantess. Marie has lately arrived in London , and is now appearing at a variety hall in the West End. Standing eight feet high , she claims to be ( hi * tallest woman in the world. She has expressed a desire to de vote a large portion of her salary to charity , and , being passionately fond of children , she employs near ly all her spare time in knitting stockings , gloves and mittens for the litlle boys and girls of her na tive village in Tyrol. Hereditary tendencies perhaps account to some extent for the ab normal growth of this Tyrolosc giantess. Her grandfather was a giant , although her brothers and sisters , on the other hand , arc all of normal proportions. Curiously enough , Marie censed to grow when she was lf years of age : she is now 27 , and is extremely intelligent. The appetite of Marie is quite IIB remarkable as her size. Iler first English breakfast consisted of 11 boiled eggs , three pints of lea , two ounces of butter and half a dozen rolls. ELEPHANT FERRY. One of the strangest ferries in the world is to bo found in India. A Hindoo chanced to save the life of a prince , and as a reward received one of the largest elephants in HIP royal stables. But this honor caused the recipient much anxiety , ns the animal's appetite was too great for the owner to satisfy. The Hindoo's house htood near a turn in the river , where many people crossed , and as the stream was at times a raging flood , boats and men were often car ried out of their'course. On one. occasion when the elephant was in bathing in the river , it suddenly oc curred to the owner to use the ani mal as a ferryboat. A harness was made for the elephant with a long rope as a trace , which was flistened to A heavy boat. The latter , with loaded passengers , was successfully towed over the river , and since that time the nnimnl has been a source of profit to his owner. JUST THE SHADE. The crafty old farmer was get ting up his summer advertisement to lure the unwary boarder from the city. "And now about the skyho said ns ho put on the finishing touches ; "should I sny it is as blue as nznre or blue as ultramarine ? " The press agent for Ihe wander ing minstrel troupe grinncU. " .hist say it is ns blue as the boarders when they leave in the fall , old man , nud you'll hit it to a dot. " AUTHOR BUILDS OWN TOMB. Gabriel d'Annuiuio , the famous Italian dramatist , is busy overseeing the construction of his own sepul chral monument , which is being car ried out by the head architect of Ihe Florence cathedral. The tomb - to be erer'cd ' by iho source of \ ' ! river ! ' < ! > . ) nroiiiiucnt in . / , \l..ll..U.U J k. . . . . . _ . ! .