THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , JULY 26 , 1907
TRAINED TO FACE DEATH.
.
Much Care Taken In the Drilling of
Cavalry Horses.
Cavalry clmrgors vnry from 15 to
ft . 1C hands In height , and sharp rules
i.V
liavc been laid down about their
shape , action and treatment There
are regular schools where the raw
four-legged recruit Is trained , and his
education embraces the- fearless
swimming of deep and wide rivers ,
where possibly the enemy have de
stroyed thebridges. . It Is extremely
Interesting to see a thousand four-
legged recruits drawn up In a vast
ring around the Instructor , who opens
the- proceedings with a sharp shot
from an army revolver , writes Wil
liam G. Fitzgerald , In the Circle. The
animals are taught to gallop fearless
ly up to a line or square of Infantry
who are blazing away with their rifles ,
of course loaded only with blank
cartridges. Lastly comes a charge
upon batteries of quick-firing cannon.
It Is worth noting that , when smoke
less powder came Into general use ,
It was found that thousands of horses
which would face without flinching
the smoke or guns using black pow
der balked and shied at the sinister
flash and roar of cordite and melinite.
There appears to be as much individ
uality among horses as among men.
Some take the flash arid report very
quietly , and are passed on to more
severe trials , while others rear and
try to bolt In abject terror.
CHAOS IN A FERRY HOUSE.
Young Man Got Even with Crowd
Which Pushed Him Aside.
A big crowd was waiting In the St.
George ferry house , Staten Island , for
the New York boat , all more or less
bored and listless , when a young man
came In and wandered Idly about the
room , says the New York Press. He
finally stopped In front of a penny-ln-
thc-slot phonograph machine and
dropped in a coin. A lively tune Im
mediately started up. The crowd
woke up and several loafers collected
In front of the machine In order to
enjoy the strains more thoroughly.
More of the bored ones joined the
collection till , to the surprise of the
young man , he was elbowed out of the
way and stood on the outside. He
stared at the crowd In some resent
ment. Then a thought seemed to
strike him. He fished up a bunch of
change from his pockets and walking
around the room , calmly proceeded to
start every machine In the place goIng -
Ing , Including two banjo-picking ma
chines. The bedlam that ensued was
indescribable. With a grin of triumph
the youth left the scene of his villainy
and went outside to light a cigarette.
He had his revenge.
Better Than the Mule.
*
At a dinner the other night little
Algy offered a toast to women. Said
Algernon : Here's to womrin , beauti
ful , fascinating woman. Made after
man , and has been after him ever
since. Ha ! Ha ! " "And hero's to man , "
responded the Ingenuous debutante.
"Man Is the paragon of animals. On
his own ground ho surpasses the lion
in magnanimity , the fox in acumen ,
the parrot in wit , the monkey in versa
tility , the ant in thrift , the spider In
all that goes to make It a valued mem
ber of society. Briefly , man Is more
of a success than the mule. " She
vowed that , Inspired by Algy , she
made It up right off the wheel. At
any rate , none of the other women
present has as yet lauded It either
in ( ho ladles' homo Journals or "Heart
to Heart Talks with Women , " so may
be she did. She Is clever enough about
other things , dear knows.
"Nothing Doing. "
"Nothing doing ! " Is that slang ? I
thought It was until last night , when
I came upon the words In Dickens'
"Dombey & Son. " In chapter IV. , old
Sol Gills is explaining to his nephew
Walter why the shop must be closed
and the business abandoned. "You
see , Walter , " said he , "in truth. this
business Is merely a habit with me. I
am so accustomed to the habit that I
could hardly live if I relinquished it ;
but there's nothing doing , nothing do *
ing. " So , you see , the phrase had its
pathetic fitness half a century ago ,
and Is not slang at all. Watson'fl
Weekly Jeffersonlan.
Saved.
M. Jacques Bonhomme et sa femme
were entertaining a company of select
friends. They had just got seated at
table when Baptlste , the waiter , rushed
Into the room In a state of wild alarm ,
exclaiming : "Quick ! a glass of wine. "
Everybody stared , but his wish was
complied with , and Uaptiste swallowed
at one gulp a glass of wine poured out
by the lady of the house , who inquired
what was the matter with him. "Oh ,
madam , I am dreadfully upset. That
glass of wine has done me good ; it
has brought mo round. Only think !
I have just had the misfortune to
break your two largo dessert dishes of
Sevres porcelain. "
Cargoes Worth a Fortune.
It might bo supposed that the great
3cean liners bring in the most valua
ble cargoes. They don't. The little
Heamers that ply between here and
the mighty Amazon river bring the
richest cargoes that reach the port ,
( t is safe to say that $500,000 Is the
ralue of an average ocean liner's
: argo. The steamship Graagense re
cently brought 4,369 cases of rubber.
Dn a basis of $500 per case this alone
was worth 12,184,500. This Is outside
the value of the skins , nuts and cocoa
in board. Sometimes the ships bring
: gret plumes that are worth for *
nine.
ONE OF WOMEN'S CKAKMS.
Sense of Reserve Said to Add Much
to Attractiveness.
A woman , especially to be attractive ,
must preserve a sense of reserve ; she
must , so to speak , keep up a certain
amount of mystery about herself.
There is a folklore tale of a woman
who , finding her married llfo unhappy ,
went to a white witch for a charm
against the trouble. She received a
flask filled with a colorless liquid ,
which she was directed to take and
hold in her mouth whenever she was
disposed to quarrel with her husband.
She obeyed directions , and , delighted
with the effect of the charm , went
back to the witch for a fresh supply
when that was exhausted. "Tho liquid
was merely water , " said the wlso
woman. "The virtue of the remedy
consists simply in holding your tongue
In keeping back 'angry answers. " To
adopt the rule , says Woman's Life ,
once given to a gushing girl by a
friend who knew the world , "Never
speak of yourself , and never say any
thing which is Uncalled for , " would at
first seem likely to make Trapplsts of
all the world ; yet It Is to be ques
tioned whether , after all , the advice
was not wise. There always are people
ple who like to talk , whose favor Is to
bo won by Interested listening , and
good listeners are rare.
CHANCE FOR A HOME-RUN.
Schoolboy's Comment on Absence of
Attraction of Gravitation.
A clover teacher , who has the power
of calling out originality In her pupils ,
says that she would have no use for
text books If she took time to answer
all the startling questions asked In
the class-room. One day the attrac
tion of gravitation was under discus
sion , when one of the boys said that
lie didn't see any need of it , anyway.
"It seems to me , " said he , "there's no
particular use in having the earth
attract things. Now ; when the apple
fell , and made Newton think out the
reason for it , that apple might just as
well have stayed where It was until
somebody gathered It. " "You play
ball , don't you ? " asked the teacher.
"Well , suppose you knock the ball
very high , what happens ? " "It falls. "
But If there were no attraction to
wards the earth , It wouldn't fall.
Don't you think that might prove In
convenient ? " "My ! " cried the boy ;
"what a bully chance for a home-
run ! "
Joined the Dead at Their Meal.
In the medical press is a story of a
man who believed that he was dead
and who for that reason refused to
take any nourishment. "How can the
dead cat and drink ? " ho asked , when
food was pressed upon him. It was
obvious that unless something were
done to bring him to his senses the
delusion must soon become actuality ;
ho would die of starvation. The
strangest ruse was tried. Half a dozen
attendants , draped In ghostly white ,
crept silently in single flic into the
room adjoining his , and , with the door
open , sat down where ho could see
them to a hearty meal. "Here , who
are these people ? " Inquired the pa
tient. "Dead men , " answered the doc
tor. "What ! " said the other. "Do
dead men eat ? " "To be sure they do ,
as you see for yourself , " was the an
swer. "Well , " said the corpse , "if
that Is so , I'll join them , for I'm starv
ing. " The spell was broken , and he
sat down and ate like 40 famished
men.
Eating Stew Through Straws.
Doing as my Indian friends did , I
seized In my turn a chunk of mutton
from the kettle and proceeded to eat
it. How I was to get my share of the
stew , however , I could not conceive ,
as licking one's fingers Is a slow pro
cess and Inadequately nourishing. On
the floor table , however , was a pile of
what looked like dark blue lead pen
cils. The governor took one , stuck It
Into the kettle and peacefully sucked
until he was satisfied. It was simply
sucking not lemonade but mutton
stew , through a straw. Then he care
fully proceeded to eat the straw. SuckIng -
Ing the stew through it had softened
and flavored it for eating. I mastered
the game at the first trial , writes Fred
erick Monsen in the Craftsman , and
from that time was a devoted adher
ent to plkl bread , as well as to many
other dishes and customs of my good
friends , the Hopl.
What More Could Be Asked ?
"On the way down here from up
home I saw your advertisement in the
paper , " said "Ozzy" Hitchcock , as he
entered the office of the New Notion
company In his Sunday suit , his boots
creaking at every step. "I'm here In
the city to get work. " "I hardly think
you're just the man we need now , " and
the clerk in charge surveyed his caller
with an unflattering gaze. "You spoke
of wanting a young man with a good
address , " said "Ozzy , " In his loud ,
clear , district-school voice. "I guess
Lanevllle , N. II. , is as good as any you
could find , and father has the only
store in the place. " Youths' Com
panion.
Quality of Trustworthiness.
People would try harder for trust
worthiness if they knew how lovable a
quality It is. When you know you can
rely upon anyone , that whatever they
undertake to do will be done , that you
can really pass over a share of your
load to them , you cannot help liking
them. On the other hand , it does not
matter how amiable men be , If they
are forgetful , if they are unpunctual.
It they habitually neglect , they be
come sources of such annoyance that
one's liking is apt to die out. W. R.
Klcoll.
RIVER MADE HIM INSURE.
Got Tired of Falling Into Water and
Sought Protection ,
One or our men selling Insurance
tnllls of an instance- where a special
manifestation and a moving of the
spirit and the flesh wcro necessary to
make a Now Madrid man take out a
policy , sayo an Insurance man In the
St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Ho had a
plnco on the river bank below the
town. Ills little shack was perched
on a bluff which jutted far out over
the water. There had been a good
many landslides down there , caused
by the disintegration of the bank. The
agent sighted the shack the first thins
when ho made the town and that after
noon ho wont up there to talk bust *
ness. There was nothing doing. The
old fellow was a fatalist and ho didn't
beliere in Insurance. "I go as the
spirit moves me , " he said , solemnly.
The agent was persistent "You might
fall In the river some day , " ho said.
"Well , I toll you all , honey , I ain't
never fell In yet. When I'vo done toll
In you can come around and see me. "
Five months later the agent made the
town again. He sighted the shack ,
but it wasn't where It had been. It
was a mile or so back from the bluff.
But the man who lived there was wait
ing at the gang-plank. Ho grabbed the
agent's hand and said : "I thought
maybe you was on the boat and I
came down to wait for you all. " After
an awkward pause ho added : "I guess
maybe I'll take that policy. I've done
fell In three times. You'd better put
a policy on the shack , too. I'm tired
of flshln * it outen the river an' totlu' it
up the hill. "
HER SENSE OF COLOR.
It Was a Happy 'Match and She
Wanted Harmony Complete.
'Twns ' the first day of the honey
moon , which the happy young couple
were spending at ono of the quietest
of seaside places , and the extent of
; helr beatitude was immeasurable.
Ho made it his duty that her every
wish should bo hip ; and , like a loyal
little woman , she paid him back in his
own coin , so that their llfo sped on
as merrily as the proverbial marriage
bell. "John , dear , " said the sweet
Ittle woman to her husband one day ,
do mo a favor to-night ? " "With the
greatest pleasure , love , " was his in
stant reply. "What Is it ? " "I wish ,
darling , " went on his bride , "that you
would put on your red necktie for
dinner. " For the first time John
winced , for that particular necktie ,
the gift of his mother-in-law , was the
one trial of his flesh. "Wh why ,
darest ? " ho queried. "O , do , John ,
dearest ? " he queried. "O , do , John ,
you to wear it. You see , I have just
Found out from the menu that we are
to have radishes , tomatoes , strawber
ries and claret ! " Stray Stories.
High Class Reporting.
English sporting reporters will
iave to look to their laurels , says the
London Tatler. Rex Beach thus re
lates In Everybody's Magazine an
episode In a prize flght at Tonopah In
Nevada on New Year's .day : "In a
quiet Interval between rounds I
heard a reporter dictating high-class
pugilistic literature : 'Herman's work
in the fifth was classy and he fought
all over the place. Ho stabbed the
Dingo In the food-hopper three times
and all but got his goat , then missed
a right swing to the butler's pantry
by an Inch. If ho had coupled it
would have been the sunset glow for
Dahomey , but Cans didn't fall for the
gag , not hardly. He ripped an upper
through the Yiddish lad and put him
on the hop with a right cross. ' "
Anything to Please.
Servant girl No. 20 was Inquiring
Into his qualifications to become her
employer. Ho had answered five ques
tions with apparent satisfaction , and
his hopes were running high. Then the
fatal question : "How many children
have you ? " "Two , " ho answered , red
dening with his sense of guilt. "Noth
ing doing , " was the flippant response.
"I never enter a family where there
are children. " Hln strained patience
snapped. He seized her by the arm.
"Say , " he whlspcerd , hoarsely , "come
with me and I'll throw the children
out of the window. Nay , more , I'll
divorce my wife and marry you. Any
thing else that you want ? Just men
tion It , and It shall be done. "
The World Hit Oyster.
The novelist of to-day has one great
advantage over his fellow of half a
century ago. The telegraph , the news
paper and the illustrated weeklies and
magazines have opened up the whole
world to him and made it contributory
to his talent. Ho can go to the utter
most points of the earth and the
knowledge of the reader has preceded
him. It acts as a flllup to the imagin
ation ; It certifies the correctness of
the description ; it adds always to the
Interest. The minute a place is men
tioned , the mind of the reader gets
at work and thus reinforces the nov-
sllst In a most vital point , that of at
mosphere.
Pure Carelessness.
"There's no use your feeling so
dreadfully depressed over the loss of
your diamonds. Why do you carry
Dn so ? " "Because I'm so provoked
when I think that If I had lost them
flvo years ago their value wouldn't
bave been half what it IB now. "
Social ,
"Are you getting acquainted In your
tew neighborhood ? " "Well , some.
The postman and the Iceman seem to
b quite cordial , but I haren't met til *
unman yet. " Philadelphia
Now and Then.
"Praise God from .whom all
blessingH flow" Falls City has
finally gotten together. We are
going to do something and hearts
that have grown sick because of
hope deferred are rejoicing. We
have voted for the bonds almost
unanimously , The knocker has
become the ticket of have men.
This is the day of the booster.
Long live the King !
If the voting on the park bonds
had been postponed till after
chautauqua it would have been
even more unanimous than it
was.
was.What
What a great happy crowd
listened to the sermon bunday
night and the band concert Mon
day night ! How they visited
and shook hands with each other
during the , intermissions , and
how they went home and talked
it over and shook hands with
themselves , so glad were they
that things are looking up and
that better feeling prevails.
"Behold how good and how
pleasant it is for brethren to
dwell together in unity. "
* *
*
The citizens of this city must
not permit the chautauqua to
lapse. A plan will be devised
during the week looking to its
perpetuation. We are all in on
it and we will all do our part.
Our people , as all people , demand
amusement and we must furnish
it. A chautauqua is not a busi
ness creator , but it has its bene
fits in the way of wholesome
amusement , instruction and rec
reation that far out-weighs all
commercial considerations. The
sermon of Rev. Hagerman last
Sunday was one of the most help
ful and instructive discourses the
writer has heard in many years.
He preached the gospel of man's
humanity to man , a gospel we
all can understand. The influ
ence of such a sermon cannot be
measured , the influence of ten
days of such mental recreation is
something this city can well af
ford to buy and pay therefor a
liberal price.
* *
*
The men who have made the
park and chautauqua possible
have labored unceasingly to make
it a success. For a week they
have each morning left their
businesses , put on borrowed over
alls and worked like Turks to put
everything in proper condition.
The last nail was driven late Sat
urday night and it was a crowd
of tired , though happy men , that
closed up the grounds and turned
homeward. John Lichty , John
Powell , W. A. Greenwald. Tom
Gist , W. W. Jenne and the others
have been and are real public
benefactors. If you have not
spoken a word of commendation
and praise to them it is not yet
too late.
+ v
*
A chautauqua is not the only
thing the park will mean. Gus
Neitzel and Mr. Van Winkle haye
picked out a good location for a
ball ground. There are some
splendid places for tennis courts.
A. good half mile track can be
constructed. In fact the various
tastes of our loving public can
all be accomodated. More than
this , the auditoriun is such a
substantial and permament
structure that Falls City should
be the convention city from this
time on. The park , taken all
together is the best and wisest
investment that can be made.
It has already brought about a
better feeling among our people
and will continue to do so for
many years.
Don't Wabble.
There is one sort of a man that
there is no place for in the uni
verse , and that is the wabbler ,
the man on the fence , who never
knows where he stands who is
always slipping about , dream
ing , apologizing never daring
to take a firm stand on any
thing. Everybody dispises him.
He is a weakling. Better a
thousand times have the repu
tation of being eccentric , pecu
liar and cranky even , than never
to stand for anything.
For Your Health's Sake !
Put a good , solid pair of soles between your feet
and Mother Earth. It's a preventative of sickness that
is worth a ton of cure. There are no better soles on
earth than are under our
t
Diamond Special Shoes
MEN'S , $3.50
WOMEN'S $3.00
They're Goodyear welted , made like the old hand
shoemaker used to make them , and they're snappy and
up to the minute. Diamond Special Shoes won the
GRAND PRIZE at the World's Fair.
Free Free
We have bought a large quantity of handsome Reed
Rocking Chairs that we are going to distribute among
our cash customers.
Please call at our store and
inspect these beautiful Chairs
and we will explain to you our
plan of distribution.
Geo. S. Cleveland
'Phone No. 6 Falls CityNeb.
'Twoud ' Make for Comfort.
If people would walk in a
straight line on the pavement
and remember that there are
others before and behind them
If things were as easy to do as
they seem
If we did not always spoil the
envelope on which we have stuck
the last stamp
If things were as they used to
be in the good old days
If everybody would be more
reasonable
If we did not find so much fun
in treading on the corns of
others
If people would take advice in
stead of giving it
If we were all as wise and good
as we think we are
If we didn't think we were so
different from others.
Kindness and tbe Brute.
Animal tamers and trainers tell
us that you can do almost any
thing with a brute if you can
get his absolute confidence and
will always treat him kindly.
We all know how the dog suf
fers and shivers under a harsh
word or a cruel blow. It is well
known that an oath or a cross
word will raise the pulse of a
horse ten or fifteen beats a min
ute. In fact , the horse feels the
driver's thought instantly. If he
is angry , even it he does not sav
a word or strike him , the animal
is conscious of it and is visibly
affected by it.
Rich without Money.
There are some characters who
carry their wealth with them ,
who are rich without money.
They do not need palatial homes
or a large bank account. They
: lo not need to buy admission to
society , everybody loves them.
They are welcome everywhere
because they have that which
money can not buy a genial ,
helpful , sunny , cheerful disposi
tion.
tion.Of
Of course , everybody wants
them , because it is a joy to be
with them. Everybody loves the
sunshine and hates the shadows
and the gloom.
There is no bank account that
can balance a sweet , gracious
personality ; no material wealth
can match a sunny heart , an
ability to radiate helpfulness and
sweetness.
But such graces and charms
never live with selfishness or self-
seeking. It is the people who
have something to give , not who
are trying to get something , that
are wanted everywhere.
Should Support Home Paper.
A newspaper of the right char
acter does not accept support
from anybody from the stand
point of charity , says an ex
change , but when it exerts every
effort to furnish its subscribers
with as interesting and readable
sheet as possible , it would seem
that the people of the territory
in which it circulates would en
deavor to cooperates and stand
by that paper.
