The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191?, July 12, 1907, Page 3, Image 3
THE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE , FRIDAY , JULY i2 , 1907 CRITICAL MOMENT. When John Wanted the Ring It Was In His Sock. John Jenklnson would not have ex changed situations with the prime min ister , the prince of Wales or the drum major of n brass band. Follcla Wllkins had answered "Yes" fn n voice as soft and gentle as the sigh of music In a dreamless sleep or the murmuring wall of a caressing breeze from lothcnn waters soothingly fanning the whiskers of Father Time. "Fellclt Wllklns , " ho exclaimed rapturously - turously , as his loft hand and arm disappeared from sight with a rapid yet sneaking motion toward the back nf the sofa on which they sat , and the fingers of his right hand appear * ed to bo feeling for something In his vest pocket , "you have made me the happiest man In the world. " Tlio timid , upturned glance of her liquid dark eyes , says Tit-Bits , and the * 'nrm blush that overspread the happy face of the lovely girl replied more eloquently than words could have done. " "And you will forgive my presump tion , darling , " he continued , "If , In an ticipation of your answer , I have ven tured to provide myself with with a with a " .lenkinson paused in some apparent "xcltement , and his finger and thumb ncivonsly explored his vest pocket without seeming to find anything. "I I must have lost it ! " he gasped. " Felicia , It was a ring ! Ha ! Perhaps it Is in some other pocket. " Rising to his feet ho thrust a trembling hand into his trousers pocket. There was a hole in that pocket. "John , " said Felicia , as she noted with concern his ghastly face , on which the light of a desperate resolve was breaking , "don't grieve over it. It will tm 11 up. You are excited. Is there anything - thing I can do " "Yes , " exclaimed John , in a hollow voice. "Felicia , I think I know where that ring is. If you would do mo a favor I shall never forget until the last hour of my life , get me a shoe- bom and leave me to myself for a few moments. " Talked Them Into Prison. "About 30 years ago Henry Clay Dean , the eccentilc Missouri lawyer and orator , was attending a term of court at which I was defending a man on a pretty serious charge , " said Judge Rtsdon of Klrksvllle the other day to a Kansas City star writer. "Two horse thieves that were In Jail sent for Dean. He took their case , and after looking at It from all sides concluded the best thing for them to do was to plead guilty and take two yeans each. "His men balked at the Idea of pleading guilty. He told them that the penitentiary wasn't a bad sort of place ; he had been all through it and knew. 'Tho warden a personal friend of mine Is one of the kindest men that ever lived , ' said Dean ; 'he never makes you work when you are tired ; and when you are sick he always looks after you like a mother. You get roast beef and brown bread every day , and pic and turkey on Sunday. Why , when Bill Jenkins you boys know Bill used to run a little sawmill over in the corner of Putnam county , they sent him up for er borrowing corn. "WliPii bo wf > nt there ho didn't weigh over ft hundred nnd thirty pounds , reg ular skin nnd bones , and in six months he weighed 300 pounds avoirdupois , and was made captain of the guard just getting along fine ; said he wouldn't swap his Job for any other In Missouri and wrote his folks to come down and live with him. The prison can't hurt anything but your reputation and what docs a fellow who's been stealing care about repu tations , anyway ? ' "The two horse thieves by this time were dead anxious to plead guilty and begin life in the pen. More than that , all the other fellows in the jail who had heard Dean's talk insisted on pleading guilty and going along. " , s tf Her Money Raising Scheme. % ' "Now , dear , " said the red-cheeked man to his wife , "I am going to have a little poker game Wednesday night. My friend and his wile are expert players. I don't want you to distract me. " "I won't , " said she. "I'll sit by a little table 'way off yonder and trim my hat. " "That's what you can do , " he assent ed ; "Bit 'way .off yonder and trim your hat. Don't come and stand back of me and say : 'Oh , what a lovely hand you've got ! Where did you get all those aces ? ' Or : 'My , but all your cards are red , diamonds , only that spade ! ' Don't do that. You hear ? But , above all , please , If I should hap pen to win a pile of money , don't reach out and grab n handful and run off laughing about it. Don't do that , will you ? That Isn't funny. It Isn't funny at all. " "I'll try not to , " she promised , "but you know , dear , that is the only way 1 can get any money out of you. Make you let me have it before company. And then , " after a moment of thought , "you borrow It back the minute they leave. " Wax Models of Ships. t" Paraffin wax models of all proposed ' < British battleships are used by the ad miralty for tests before the keels of f ' ' the ships are laid down , the miniature ships being tied In a great tank. The models a e trom 12 to 24 feet Ions , the A , tnnk I 'HR 400 feet long and 20 fact * * wide. Th mo1 's are made of wax toft au > U ! j u v.aUrialvlilth doe * ni'l nbto b v. a'or char * * * Its weight. \.lt' vrulnnK BI < * < v and Mi ra-aftin ii.u ne malted up < iud Urtrfil * tain. WOMAN WHO TALKS HER WORRIES AT HOME AS AN ANNOYANCE TO HUSBAND. When the Man Comes Home He Wants to Hear Something Else Besides the Rasping Side of Troubles. When a man comes homo from busi ness there Is ono subject that should jo tabooed between husband and wife ; the day's worries. A man is supposed to leave the cares and annoyances of office hours downtown , and n woman should suppress hers the moment she hears the front door open. It there is a sympathetic bond uniting the two liearis the man will easily guess that the worry lines are due to things which aave gene wrong , and ho will bo grate ful for the cheerfulness of the uncom plaining wife , while she , on the other hand , will , In a swift Intuition , grasp the burdens of the harassed business man. Ho has come homo to rest , to enjoy the quiet and nearness of family life , and these moments are to refresh him for the next day's struggle. There Is no man in the world so un selfish as the American husband and father. Perhaps he lacks the polish which comes of easy work and much leisure , for this is a luxury that the American never Indulges In unless the short interval spent at homo can bo counted as such. The American million aire permits himself about one-fifth of the vacation demanded by the English tradesman. Time Is something ho can not afford to spend. lie has a family , sons and daughters who must have ad vantages denied his own youth , and so he works on into a sordid mlddlo ago that has established a habit of work that cannot be broken. This Is true of the man on a salary , and it is to the home and the wife that ho looks for the reward for his many sacrifices. But does ho always iccelve It ? Wo insist that the American woman is not spoiled , says the San Francisco Bulletin , but can we prove that she is not self-centered and selfish ? The great middle class Is the majority In every civilized community , and of the vast army of women whose husbands are counted fairly well off , how many stop to think of the effort that it costs to keep the wife well dressed , the chil dren clothed and fed and educated. The bills are paid and she has money in her purse , and the average wife stops there. She accepts ; she does not question when she makes a fresh demand. She tolls of her worries with her dressmaker , whose price has gene up ; she complains of the servant or serv ants and recounts the Irritations of the day ; she tolls how unmanageable the children are and how expensive is the living. In short , she pours her talc of woes Into the ears that have listen ed to hard facts and business methods for the past eight hours , and the tired brain of the overworked becomes dull and apathetic with the increased pres sure. sure.Homo Homo becomes a place to sleep and eat in. He remains at his ofllce until the last mlnuto , for between the choice of evils a normal man will sec the lesser in the absence of a woman's complaints. Instead of refreshment , sympathetic companionship , he pic tures to himself the won led wife , eager with her grievances , and so he lingers until the very last , and then only a Bniiso of duty impels him to drag his lagging feet homeward. Can any sensible person blame this type of the unfortunate American pro vider ? Lace and Politico. The Irish lace ball recently given In Dublin by Lady Aberdeen appears a most brilliant event In Great Britain's social calendar , says the Boston Tran script. Lady Aberdeen's historic ball was one with a purpose aside fiom pro viding a few gay hours for her guests. And that the purpose succeeded is seen In the report that Irish lace , al ready in high favor , is now enjoying a boom , if that term can be used to describe the movement of anything so filmy and delicate as lace. There were Irish lace reels and Irish lace quad rilles at the ball , a different kind of Irish lacn distinguishing each set. Only an expert in lace matters could name the kind of lace on sight , and only a pastmlstross in the art of dressmaking could tell offhand the names of the lace effects shown In the costumes. It was all very beautiful to the thousand or inoie who saw It. A great Irish industry was helped aa never before , perhaps , and the popu larity of the Aberdcons became even more secure and stable , if that were ' possible. Th Clever Fox. The rector of a parish near Oxford , England , tells this fox story : As ho was walking across come fields dur ing a recent for hunt he heard the cry of hounds. The fox ran Into the next field. A fox came running toward him and trotted along by hia side , just as a dog would do , wagging his brush. The rector walked on. The huntsman , looking about , saw nothing but the clergyman and what seemed to bo his dog , and galloped away in another direction. As soon as the coast was clear the fox gave i whisk of his tall and disappeared through a hedge. Too True. Church I see the "automobllt heart" U the latest. Gotham Do scorchers have It ? "O , yea. " "That's funny. " "Why so ? " "The scorchers don't act a If Ui y had any hearts ! " Yonkers State * man ICE CREAM DID IT. He Cuts Out the Treat and She Cuts Him Out In Return. "Como early to-morrow evening and wo will sit In the park , " she had coyly said as Walter bade her a lov ing good-night and went down the stops. Ho had replied with a smile and a nod. Ho was a young and guileless man , and this was his first love , ox- lilalns the Now Orleans Picayune. He liiul never been buncoed. The next day seemed never ending to him , but finally the sun wont to bed and Walter found a girl hanging on his arm and headed for a park. Un der the budding trees they sat dowa to hear the last songs of the robins be * fore roosting high. Ho sat with her hand In his , and for ten mlnuto * neither spoke. Then Helen softly breathed Into his ear : "That must be an ice cream parlor across the street. " "I think it's a beer saloon , " ho re plied , as a chill went up his back. "But ladles are going In there. " "Yes , but It Is fashionable now for ladles to go Into beer saloons. ' She sought to pull her hand away , and there was silence for a moment. Then she said : "I can almost taste chocolate Ice cream. " "It Is onions you smell , " ho replied. "Some one Is cooking them for sup per. " She moved a few Inches away from him , and under the electric light ho saw her eyebrows como together and her nose point straight into the air. "It seems to mo that If I had a dish of Ice cream " she softly began , but as she paused he broke In : "You might have bilious colic before morning. " "Mr. D'puy , will you have the kind ness to escort mo homo ? " "Certainly , my dear , but why this hurry ? Perhaps the band " "Now at once , sir ! " "But Helen " "Miss Taylor , If you please. " "But I thought wo came out " "So wo did , sir , and we have como In , sir , and good-night , sir. I shall not be at home to-morrow evening. " Visits Goethe's Old House. A young American on his first trip to Europe writes from Frankfurt-on- the-Maln : "You know all about Heidel berg , with Its dueling place , where the visitor always comes 'Just too lato' to see an encounter ; Homberg , the Ger man Saratoga ; 'Nauhclm and all the other beautiful places near this city which every tourist thinks he must visit. visit.You You may know also the old Goethe house In this city , which will always have an additional charm for me be cause of my adventure there. I hap pened to go through cost ono mark at the same tlmo with a lot of per sonally conducted young girls from England. When we reached the room where a little old spinet stood the loquacious guide told the girls that it had been played upon by Frau Ruth Goethe and by the poet himself , and that as n special favor ho know it would bring an additional tip he would allow ono of the riuty to play a few notes on the Instrument. The girls could not decide which one should have the honor nor what should bo played. 'Faust , ' 'Egmont' and 'Mlgnon' were under discussion , when I butted In and played a few bars from 'The Star-Spangled Banner. ' The girls didn't seem to recognize the tune , and 1 have wondered ever since was It their Ignorance , the quality of the Instrument or possibly my play ing. " Time In European Nations. The German empire has a uniform time , adopted April 1 , 1903 , the central European time , so called , which Is ono hour faster than the time of the Greenwich meridian. The same stand ard Is In use in Austria , Hungary , Italy , Switzerland , Denmark , Norway nnd Sweden. The west European tlmo Is the time of the Greenwich meridian , and Is used In England , Holland , Belgium , Luxembourg and Spain. France , out of national vanity , holds to the time of Paris , both for herself and for her colonies in Algiers and Tunis , only nine minutes faster than Greenwich time. The cast European tlmo is the same as the time of St. Petersburg , which Is 2 hours 1 minute and 13 seconds faster than Greenwich time. This standard is used in European Russia , Turkey In Europe , Romania and Bul garia. He Blew the Violoncello. "Gentlemen , " recently said a Ger man professor , who was showing to his students the patients In the asy lum , "this man suffers from delirium tremens. He is a musician. It is well known that blowing a brass In strument affects the lungs and throat in such a way as to create a great thirst , which has to bo allayed by persistent indulgence In strong drink. Hence , in the course of time , the dis ease you have before you. " Turning to the patient , the professor ser asked : , "What instrument do you blow ? " and the answer was : "Tho violoncello. " Cleveland Lead er. Explained. "How did you make out with your French while in Paris ? " "Well er not very well. You see , I only had occasion to use the language In speaking to shop peopje. and they don't understand elegant French , you know. " Philadelphia Ledger. FLITTINBY'S REFORM CLEANS UP THE ACCUMULATIONS OF YEARS , Reaches the Mature Age When He Throws Away Dead Matter and Is Ready to Begin Life Again , "I am beginning to tlnow away things , " said Mr. Fllttlnby ; "going through my papers and things and throwing things away. "I find among thorn newspaper clip pings about things that I would never lave thought ot again but for this reminder , and some things I have forgotten BO completely that even the sight of the clippings does not recall to mo why 2 cat them out and saved themt so Important , really , are many of the tilings about which wo bother ourselves or which at some time wo found of Interest. "There are lettora from men long since dead , and old bills that recall forgotten periods of our life , that now seem strange to us , wo Hvo so much In the present. And why keep these old recciptB ? The men that gave them are dead now or moved away ant1 these accounts will never be sent In again , and if they wore they have long since been outlawed by the lapse of time. Throw thorn away. "Hero are old birthday cards , witt pretty , with affectionate , with loving greetings ; bringing most pleasant memories , though they do remind us of the years that have gene slnco firs1 they came to us. And why should we preserve them ? Wo can remember wo can cherish those who sent thorn , without them to remind us , and they would only bo there with the old papers pors In the drawer. To the basket gently with them. "And here , as I live , are some old valentines ! Well , well. This does make us young again. But dear , dear ; that was long ago. Why should we keep them longer ? To the basket , gently. We have the valentine her self now. "Thero are so many things that we put , away to save , to treasure , life seems to stretch Interminably before us when wo are young , and wo are going to keep these things always. And It takes us , happily , a long , long time to get to where wo can sec the beginning of the end. Youth en velops us with a buoyancy and strength that makes life seem a Joy that Is to go on forever , and In sturdy middle ago , indeed , we take little ac count of the years , but then come : a tlmo when we begin to realize thai two and two make four and no moro "Now I have arrived at that tluw of life when I begin to know. DonM for heaven's sake think that I am tak ing a mournful view. Far from It. "Life never seemed to me so full of Joy as now , and I'm good for a good long stretch of it yet , with senses keen and understanding broad cnlng , finding enjoyment In every thing ; and taking this broader view of tilings , not occupied too much by dotall , this stored up accumulation ol long gathering truck scorns superfluous ous and useless , and so I'm just going through it and throwing things away "This lot that I've been coin ? through to-day Is just stuff that has accumulated in the cubby holes In my desk ; but I'vo got boxes and bundles of such stuff stored away , and 1 must get it out , a box or bundio nl a tlmo and go through It , and throw It away. For of what use will it over bo to anybody ? What becomes ol this sort of stuff , anyway , when pee pie cr-r I mean why shouldn't 1 sort this stuff out now myself , and not leave it to cumber things up for some body else to throw away ? "There may be some things , to be sure , that I'll want to save , things that other people will want to keep , and these things I will save ; but as tc the bulk of this stuff , why , it's just so much hindering useless baggage , and this I'll throw away , and with the decks cleared start life anew. " Not a Provident Millionaire. A funeral cortege passed over Wil- liamsburg bridge the other day with 32 open carriages filled with flowers preceding the hearse , and 7G carriages with mourners followed after. By the tlmo the first carriage reached the Brooklyn side the last carriage in line was just going up the brldgo approach preach from Delancey street , Manhat tan , a mlle away. "That must be a millionaire's fu neral , " remarked a promenader to a policeman who stood with him look ing down on the apparently endless procession of carriages. "Not on your life , " replied the po- lleceman. "Tho dead chap is an Ital < Ian from the Mulberry Bend section , and it Is an oven bet that his widow won't have | 500 to her name after she foots the bill for that parade. But that docs beat the record on flowers Wo had 27 carriage loads over the brldgo once , but never anything like that. " Brooklyn Eagle. The Kangaroo. "I didn't get to the Hold sports ir time , " said the haro. "Was there any thing interesting ? " "Yes. " replied the tortoise , "that bit Australian champion broke the record ord in the 100-yard jump. " Phlladel phla Ledger. So Clever of "Yes , " when Dubley tells an Irish story there's no mistaking It. " "You know It's Irish right away eh ? " "Yes , indeed ; ho says 'Be Jabbers a ar evury ent nc . " The CatholU SUmdard and Tin * * . THE BEST PHYSIC SLEEP IB INDEED A UWEET RE STORER. This Is All That Most Victims of Nervous Breakdown Need to Recover Lost Health nnd Vigor. I Ono of the features of modern , times is the prevalence of what wo term neurasthenia , or nervous break down , says thu London Express. These names apply to n condition of physical and mental Jit-health which Is the direct result of the ago In which wo Hvo and the pace at which wo are living. Massage nnd electricity and novel "treatments" nnd "cures" nro called upon to repair what , wo have brought upon ourselves by our Up- to-date ways of life , by worry and excitement. There nro hundreds of women of the upper and mlddlo classes Just now bewailing their "nerves" nnd cryIng - Ing out that headaches nnd Insomnia and depression are spoiling their HTCB. 'I his Is n neurotic ngo , nnd half the world of men nnd women not noly burn the candle at both ends , but In the middle as well. The strenuous lifo is almost n necessity to the man or woman who IH ambitious socially , politically or commercially. Wo nro so anxious to "got on" wo attempt to do far more than wo are constitu tionally fit for , and nervous break down Is the Inevitable rcuult Lack of repose Is u prime factor in the causation of "nerves ; " the con stant rush In the social nnd business world , the frantic pursuit of pleasure and amusement are frequent precur sors of nervous Ill-health. Wo reck lessly expend our energy ; wo have no tlmo to rest , and nobody listens to the advocates and disciples of the simpler life. Homo life , quiet domesticity are becoming rarer every year. "Slmplo pleasures , " "homely joys" and thu "family circle" are ridiculously old- fashioned terms. Is it any wonder that nervous breakdown and prema ture decay are on the increase ? The remedy lies mainly with us women our Influence can do n great deal , our example more , to counteract the restlessness and excitement char acteristic of this ago. Wo must preach the gospel of rest. Hard work nowadays moans HOVOTO nervous strain , and the constant ap plication to buslnes asnd professional affairs demands regular periods of quiet and complete rest , it the work ers are to retain their health. It Is the more Important that the homo at mosphere bo such as will restore the balance and lessen the tension of the Inevitable nerve strain outside. Unqutetness In the homo , the tyran ny of social engagements and world ly "duties , " following upon u strenu ous working day , gives no opportunity for repose. The power'to be quiet , the virtue of repose , Is worth cultivat ing In this age of neurotic women ; the woman who Is constantly on the move , striving after something just out of her reach , diffuses an atmos phere of disquiet nnd vulgar unrest around her. To ho busy does not necessarily mean to achieve ; bustling activity is too often barren of real progress. A Household Necessity. No household is complete without n pet giandfathor , especially If there la a baby to bo ruined and an ahof cheerfulness to bo kept up , remarks Tom Musson In Delineator. Secure for your purposes a grandfather - father with a lack of morals , n jovial disposition and about n million dollars. Let him roam at largo wherever ho will. It does not matter much whether ho is u grandfather on your wife's side oren on yours. If ho is on your wife's side you will secretly dislike him ; If he Is on your side , she will. But you will both let him be on account of the mil lion. Never permit grandpa to be out of the nursery when baby Is in it. Then , xvhen anything is broken , we can blame him , nnd "pull his leg" for a new one. Babies and grandpas always go well together. They are both the same age. It Is well to bear this In mind. Keep a savings bank for both of them. And leave them both in charge of grand pa. When they are full , carefully re move the Interiors and begin all over again. It is not necessary to provide moro than ono grandpa , no matter how many children you may have. Two grandpas in one house often lead to an inter- neclno war. When you go out with your wife , always leave grandpa In charge of the baby. It Is not necessary to tell him to mind. Ho will , anyway , as a matter of course. When our baby outgrows grandpa , secure another Immediately. Remem ber that grandpa must be amused nnd that ho Is amply able to pay for It. | Third Son of Grant. ' Jesse Grant , the third son of the great general , leads a simple and uneventful - ' eventful life. He Is not In any busi ness. Some mines In the west and a few other affairs occupy some of his time. Tarpon llshing he likes , and ho never misses a baseball game when it Is warm. Accounting for It. "It's bad enotish for you to in < home Intoxicated , " tmld Mrs. I ! < < h man. ' 'i it why to IntoV" 'V I J < M shoo , m < ! i.- 1 "n ' * l I' . I1- " ' .1 ' ; -A 1 ) -i "MARIA THINGUMAJIG. " Foreign Names Bothered Americans In the Olden Days. International marriages nro , In these days of travel , more common than they used to bo ; but they wore not un known to our ancestors of a century ago , nnd were least rare , It scorns , in Homo of the old seafaring families. Old-tlmo sen captains made friends in ninny lands , nnd were occasionally ac companied on board by some adven turous daughter , eager , like Lord Batomnn of the ballad , "far countries for to see. " Ono such , who traveled as far ns Russia , did not return ; she remained there ns the wlfo of a pros perous Russian merchant. Her father's fellow-townsmen were naturally Interested to hoar all about the match on his return , says the Youth's Companion , but there was one Important piece of Information they never obtained ; the bride's married name. It was so unpronouncable that the good captain declined oven to attempt It. Ho always spoke of his daugh ter as ! 'my gal who married a fur- rlnor ; " his mother called her "my granddnrtor ever In Rooshy , " and everybody clso fell Into the way ot saying simply and not nt all Jocular- y : "Marln Thingumajig. " Another old sea captain had two charming girls who accompanied htm o Franco , both of whom married frenchmen. French Is n less difficult tongue than Russian , but the old man's car was not good , and the two brides , on their first visit homo , were some what chagrined at the havoc ho made with their names. They had become Mine. Carotto nnd Mmc. Lo Boutllllor ; but ho Intro duced them cheerfully to strangers as Mrs. Leo Bottles and Mrs. Carrots. They gently remonstrated against such a perversion of their names , but In vain ; he could achieve nothing better until a compromise was reached , In ac cordance with which ho censed to try to pronounce them at all. Therefore when nn introduction became - came necessary , ho presented "My darter , Mrs. Nancy B. , " or "My dor- ; cr , Mrs. Polly C. , " adding , genially , 'and if yo want the full of her name n French , she'll tell yo on askln' . She speaks the language. " Seven Ages of the Chinese. A French officer , Louis Do Cbantllly , tells of his discovery In a Buddhist convent in the mountains of Tonkin of a dusty manuscript containing the Chinese version of the seven ages ot man. "At ton years old , " says the writer , whoso name has long been forgotten , the boy has a heart and n brain as soft as the tender shoots of n young bamboo. At 20 ho is like a green banana ; ho is just beginning to ripen In warm rays of common sense. "Thirty years sees him developed Into a buffalo. He Is strong and lusty , full of bodily and mental vigor. This is the true ngo of love ; it is the age for him to marry at. "At 40 years the prosperous man has grown to bo a mandarin and wears a coral button. But it would bo truly Indiscreet to conflno to him at this early ago any functions calling for ju dicial Intelligence or calm. When ho reaches BO years , however , although ho has grown stout and fleshy , lie IB IH to hold any municipal or stnto ofllco ; ho can administer a city or n province or perform any offi cial duty. "But nt CO years ho Is old. Handi craft and all active bodily activities are beyond him. Ho gives his de pendents and clients advice. That Is all ho is nt for. "At 70 ho is Just a dry straw. He has only one care to husband the breath of life that IK left In him , to preserve It , oven by artificial means. Ills sons must assume the care of his estate and the performance of his du ties. " Named Pills as Weapons. An extraordinary duel , which at the tlmo created an Immense sensation , was one in which the decision was ar rived at not by swords or pistols but by means of a deadly poison , says Pall Mall Gazette. The men , who , It Is hardly necessary to say , had fallen out over a lady , had left the arrange ments of details to their seconds , and until they faced each other they did not know by what method they were to settle their differences. Ono of the seconds was a doctor , and he had made up for the occasion four black pellets , all identical In size nnd shape. "In ono of these , " he said , "I have placed a sufficient quan tity of prusslo acid to cause the al most Instantaneous death of anyone who swallows It. "We will decide by the toss of a coin which of you is to have first choice , nnd you will alternately draw and swallow a pill until the poison shows Us effect. " Two of , 'the pel lets were then taken ns the toss had decided but without effect in either case. ' "This time , " said the doctor , speak ing of the two pellets remaining , "you must both swallow the pill at the same instant. " The choice was again made , and In a few seconds ono of the men lay dead on the grass. Married Man's Umbrella. A clergyman has posted the follow ing at the Leeds ( Eng. ) church insti tute : "As the gentleman who took the married man's umbrella (26-inch ( ribs ) In exchange for a bachelor's um brella (24-Inch ribs ) of the same pat tern from the church Institute on ( bn afternoon of April 16 can have no pos sible use for It , he can como Into i-.i elon of bin own again hv ; tiplyin to tb cretary. "