The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191?, March 31, 1905, Image 13
L _ _ - _ _ _ _ Totally Irrelevant Dumlo-I never saw a man lUte Drlxton to drift away from the subject under discussion r Barrass-As for Instance ? Dumle-I just asked him what 110 was doing the night I saw him down the road and he waded IUl answer by _ . , , . . remarking that be had known people to gel rich by attending to their own , business I have no doubt he has , but why should he mention it at that time ? - The Brainy Editor. "Wh do you send back all my contributions . trlbutlons ? " asked Miss Yelloleaf ill angry tones. "My dear child , " answered the editor Itor , "it Is an unalterable theory of mine that no one should write for the papers before she is at least 30 years at age. " IIe calculated that she would not bother him for about ten years at least. - . - - Father Was Loaded. f" I . .r ' ' > - -nf . r r . s.x . . . . ti N , 1-\1" 1 : ) Little Tessie (3 ( a. m.-Mammll : , Is that thunder I hear ? 1\Irs. Wise ( waiting for hlm-No , That's your papa coming upstairs as quietly as be can. Liars From East and Wcst. Kansas 1\lan-1 know of a Kansas girl ! who got mixed up with a Kansas wind and it blew her hair right off her h < : ad. New York Citizen-Pooh ! New York women don't dare go past the Flatiron building for fear the wind . - \ . will blow the complexion right off their faces.-Councll Bluffs Nonpareil , Hero of a Business Turn. The Artist-What . are you at now , old man ? The Author-A football stol'Y. The Artist-And the hero wins the game with n ninetyyard run , of course ? The Author-Not this hero ; ho tsim- ply corners the tlclwt 1Uarltct. and lives easy ever afterward.-Town Topics. I Theory WeI1 Proved. Bach lor-I have always.- had an idea that after a couple have been . married for some time even their thoughts become to a great degree entical. Am aright ? . Benedict-You arc. About this time my wife is thinking or what she'll say to me for coming home so , late-Ilnd so am 1 ! ' " ' " . . Clubs and the Man. . Loving I1usband-1 don't see whY you complain. Jones spends time best part of his life at the club every day. Fond Wifo-Nonsense ! lie is only there for one hour of an evoning. Loving Husband ( sighing-Wel1 ) , that hour is the best part of his life , j i I - an'how. Not Suited for Magazine Use. 1'011 say the magazine editor I i' wouldn't accept YU1' poem ? " "No ; I thllll It was too good. " k "Too good ? " "Yes , I think he was afraid it would distract attention from the vertls- ing pages. a ' . . . ; . - - . . . - - PE-RU-NA . . . CONQUERS CATARRH THE WORLD OVEIL . . . - - . . . " " ' f' _ _ ' lit If Thc Population of rp flee Earth is : _ , 1,400 } 000 } 000. One llIilliolt r Die A-llllltllily' of Ca/ruTlt. . . . / LL over throe worlll Poruna Is A known and used for catarrhal . . . . . . dlsoases. The Pcruna Girl has traveled 'round the globe. ITer face is familiar everywhere that civilization renches. Universally Praised. From Africa to Greenland , from Man- charm to Patagonia , the face of the Pcruna : girl is familiar and the praises of Perun:1. as a : catarrh remedy . . are henrd. - - - - - - Succcssful In North and iOUtlJ. Poruna crossed the Equator several years ago , to find ( , in the Southern Hemlsphero the same triumphant success . cess that has marked its career in the I Northern lIemislhere. A St.mdard. 1'oruna. is n. standard catarrh remedy the worlll over. It cures catarrh by eradicating it from the system. Permanent Curc. It obviates the necessity of all local tron.tment and its relief is of permanent charn.cter. WJtllOut iJ Peer. No other remedy has Fa completely dominated the whole earth as ! ) eruna. In livery Tongue In nIl languages its glowing testt menials arc written. in nIl climes the demands for Porunn increase. I Around the World "f have used your Fish Brand Slickers for years In tile l1awallan Islands IInd found them the only . erotic < < that suited I Bin now In this country ( Africa ) and think a great deal of your conts. " ( NAME 011 APPLICATION ) TOQES11JnnRD WOllW'S FAIR , 1 Ot The worldwide reputation - tlun of Tower's WllterI'C'I" ' i"n I'C'I" ' t . ' & vn&4' ( . , proof Oiled Clothing - assure the buyer of I ! a l : the positive worth of N ! t nil rnrmcnta bearing I7.r1l .11\\ this Sign of tile FI h. 401 , 5av A. J. TOWER CO. , Boston , U. S. A. TOWER CANADIAN CO. , LiMiTED 353 Toronto , COlmdn. It sera atnlcted I er.a , with use Thompson' Eye Water w. N. U. Omaha. . No. 12-1905 o goYti : r rPI I ' .R , 4 14i ( , : : - I z a Aj1'JTJAL } A { J \ G ! r 1 1 4 ; : / A 4r . , $4 . , 1 - - - , _ g , , C ' . - 1 - An Exteasivil Laboratory. 'ro supply this remedy to the whole world tuxes to the utmost one of the best laboratories in the United Stntcs. A Word Frwm Itustralla. Walter H. Woodward , nomadicI' Royal Australian Artillery , Hobart , Tasmania , writes : "I suffered for several years with a distressing condition of time head and throat , caused by continual colds. " : \y head and nostrils were stopped up most of the time and there was 0. discharge , and my sense of smell was affected badly. "After two weeks use of Poruna I found this condition quite changed , and so I contInued to use thIs remarkable medicine for over n month. "I am very glad to say that at time end of that time I was cured and felt in fine health generally , and am pleased lo give Peruna my honest endorse- mont. " n _ _ _ _ _ _ . . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ EXCURSIONS i N TO THE Free Grant Lands A OF Western Canada. nurllllC the months of larch and April , there will ho excursloll" Oil the various limes : : of rall' way to the Canadian ' . I1U1Hlrf'lls of thousands of acres of the best 'lll'at and ! Urazlll Lands un the Conttment free to the Hotllel' Adjolnln Imlls ( II1n\ be purchased from railway . way std laud eompanlc' , reasonable Ilrlces. For Information liS 10 route , cost of trnnHllor. tntloll cte" , apply ! to HU\lorllltcllllcnt \ of Il1l1nl J.rallon , OtlawlI , Call11llll. or to aulllorizell Clln adilln ( lorllllll'lIlJ.ent. , . - \ \ ' . \ ' . IIcnllcll , &II New Yurlc Life Bull lul : , Olllalln , Ncllru..lm . I " - - - SPINAL CURVATURE Can be Cure I ALSO OTHER DtrOA/.IITItS. I . Welte o : call at office fadrec Informa' o ion ( , Ilhhcst testimonials from prout ' inrJlt slalcsnlCn , anti physlcinns. Con . sultyour Fa III ily Doclor. No braces or 1 j ' 1IIp1inncclIl"cd , Treated successfully , mall. Six ' ' . _ . hy : 'enrs' r.xpurlence lime Blomgvist Gymnastic Ortbopedlc I last. I Copyright 1'02. , INCO""O"AUD CAPITAL e3"OOO.00. 111 TO 21 ARLINGTON DLK. . OMAHA. NEB. I Prom HlJWIII1 : ' - . Prince Jonah Cnlnnhmnole , delegate In Congress from Hawaii , writes from Washington , D. C. , as follows : III can cheerfully recommend your Peruna BS a very effective remedy for coughs , colds and catarrhal trouble " A Cuban Mlalster. Senor Quesada , Cuban Minister to time United States , writes \Vushlng1.on , D. C. , as follows : 'oruna I can recommend Its u very good medieiue. It ia un excellent strengthening tonic , and ia also IUl efficacious euro for the ulmost universal complaint of clLtn.rrh.-Gonzulo Do Quosada. Prom All Quarters 01 the OIobe. 'Ve hnvd on mo thousands of testimonials ! - menials like those given abo\'o. 'Vo can give our readers only n. slight glIlII ] > tie of the vast number of grateful , letters Dr. Hartman 1:1 constantly receiving from all quarters of lime gloho in behalf of his famous cntarrh remedy , Jerllnll. I Salze ll'9 . Natlonnl Oats Grontcllt oat of tin cenln. . , . . i Ylehlt'll In Ohio IAT , In Mlell. 2:111111I0 : \ , 2f > 5. mud lu N. Dakota 8U bu ! . per acre. You can beat that ! record I n 11Ki. For lOc and this notice 1 we matt yon tree lots of farm DI't't1 I /amllll1ll and our big calllolC , tt'll- / . I Ingal ! about thlll out tn ' ondcr and tbouearutsof other IIt'CdS. JOHN A. SALZER SEED CO. I/1 . ' La Croll' , J WIW WI , . \I I For Sale orOJ FARMS nymotet I J. l:1ULHALL : , 810u1l. City , lQws. I When writing to advertisers Illcaa\ mention thin paper. I PUTNAM FADELESS DYES Color trove goods brighter and faster colors than any 01111 r dye. One IOc package colors silk . wool and cotton equally well and II guaranteed 10 ohe perfect results Uk ellfr or we will send post paid all0c a palkal111. Wrj.B for free booklet- How to Dye Bleach and Mix Colon. .UO : ' ' JW " : Jilt CJi CU" , CJUIUUIIllI" , .Uluuurt { .