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, f' , Twice Told Tales.
\ ?
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' 'I' , A girl who asked a druggist
. , for a sponge bath whcn she
meant a bath sponge is being
laughed at.-Hiawatha World.
' How it must hurt certain 1 icli-
ardson county poHticans to refer
_ to him as Senator Burkcttl- !
- Humboldt Entcrprisc.
.
Sunday was thc birthday of thc
martyred McKinley and it is to
be regretted that more of his favorite -
oritc flower were not in evidence
I on "carnation day. " A few in
I Humboldt remembered the day
' . ' ; JIII"- - ' appropriatcly-Humholdt LcaJ-
ca.
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(
l\fr . Frank Smith , who has
I . , been a pa ticn tat he Mercy
--Q Hospital in Falls City for sonic
time , is now entirely recovered
and will return home as soon ; as
thc weather gets a little warmcr.
-D < lwson Ncwsboy.
r The dread small pox is making
its appearance in certain quarters
of tlH' county but in reality sonic
think it not so dangerous as pncu-
monia. But it will do no harm
to use every preventative within
your knowledg-e. -'l'he Humboldt
Leader.
.
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WHY xo'r. _
"l'\ " 0\\ ' . isn't it delighttul to
teach a lady how to skate ? " cc-
- - statically inquires thc Falls City
- . News : man. "And especially if
she has weak ankles and leans
. " . . , . { upon you at an angle of 45 de-
Tces , " Better not let that angle
. . grow any.-Xebraska City 'Veck-
ly.
i -
' \ \VILL HtTX SUR\'IY.
. ' ' Missouri and Nc- :
. . 'l'he states of -
" "
, hraska ; have reached an agreement -
4 ment regarding ; thc boundary line
. between Atchison county Missouri -
sonri and e\11aha county , Nc-
1)raska. Albert haslet of Nebraska : -
bra ka and John W. Halliburton ,
of Missouri have been appointed
to n.n a boundary line between
the two sta tcs.-A ubum 1-herald.
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1.0VH BY TsI.EPII0N ]
Two Huron Young people are
carrying on a courtship over a
party telephone line l with the result -
sult that cycryb\'dy on the line
l\e ps tab 0.1 thc proceedings
' The story goes that the other
evening when the girl called up
) . . . , and said sweetly : "Kiss mc good
night over the phone , " ' a voice
broke in and said : \Vell you
, wouldn't if"ou knew how it
: ; ounded ! ' " -Il i a W < l t ha , V orld.
IIHI.PS 'l'I1H 1\lOmlS.
, ' 1'he'at movement of corn to
t
thc gulf ports over thc lines of
. thc Missouri Pacific and other
roads has been a great source of
profit to the farmers 'of this sec-
tion and has saved them an enormous -
mous sum of money in the aggregate -
gate , since : the shipments beg-an.
't ' he local market for grain shows
an average gain of 3 cents per
bushel to the produccrs. If the
. . ' rate war keeps np it will ] } be a
, }
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good thing for the agricultural
interests of tIllS scction-Auburn
Hcrald
Perhaps no man has a more
honorable record in his country's
defense than Lieutenant General
Nelson A. Miles ; and perhaps no
pUblic man is more cordially ha t-
cd. No one can explain thc in- ,
ju tice. General Miles is now in- !
I
specter general of Massachusetts ,
and in order to pursue him , con- . ,
grcss is wrestling with a bill regarding -
g-arding rctired officers serving
with thc militia , in an effort to
reduce Mil < : s' pay. The house '
yesterday voted again on thc bill
and stood pat at mil to 79 iti fav-
or of the rcduction. In talks on
thc bill , Williams , of Mississippi
I
grew eloquent in denouncing I
Miles because hc once put shac-
Idcs on the ankles of Jeff. Davis.
The north , instead of ringing
back a defense of Miles for doing
it helped to carry the'ote
against him. What is the mat-
tcr with Miles ? In what origi-
nates his unpopularity ? No war
hero in thc county's history has
a better record for lHavcry.-
Atchison Globe.
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A T\\ ISTiiR.
Read this over three times and
then tell who Bill was : "Bill had
a hill board. Bill also had aboard
hoard bill. Time hoard hill bored
Bill so that Bill sold the bill
board to pay his board bill. So
after Dill sold his bill hoard to
pay his board bill , the board bill
no longer bored Bill. " In line
with the tale of Bill's board bill
and Bi11's bill hoard it might bc
mentioned that if Bil1's hill bored
Bill as much as Bill's board bill
bored Bill , why not "beard" Bill
with a board from Bill's bill
board and throw Bill's board bill
and Hi11's bill board overboard ?
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IllS MAJBS'I ' YIiOIi'iIIT1 : !
While obcrt's summer diet is
mainly bugs and things , his win-
ter diet is made Ut' mostly of
seeds , two-thirds being } weed seeds
about a tenth fruit of various
kinds , and thc rest grain and miscellaneous -
cel1ancous vegetable mattcr If
it were not for Bob White the
weed curse would bear a good
deal heavier on farmers than it
does now. The investigators
found in one single stomach , taken
at one meal , thirty button-wood
or velvet weed seeds-- one of thc
very worst weeds that ever cursed
a country ; from 200 to 300 smart-
weed seeds ; 500 seeds of sheep
sorrel ; and 700 of a different va-
ncty. Crops and stomach arc
frequently crammed with nothing
but rag-wc'd. One bird had a
thousand ragweed seeds ; another
an equal amount of crah.gra
Another had 3,000 leguminous
seeds , mostly trefoil and other
various ! species of wild clovers.
Another bird had 5,000 pigeon-
weed seeds ; and still another had
10,000 seeds of pigweed.
Now , why should the farmer
permit either his boys or his
neighbors or reputable or disreputable -
pntablc fellows from about town
to kill a friend who is so persistently -
tently all the year around help-
ing him in his farm work ? 'Vc
stand up for Bob White.- \ Tall-
acc Farmcr.
'l'IIH ItIH'l' : DIS'j'IUC'l' VACANCY
aU esteemed contemporary ,
thc Lincoln "Star" discusses thc
prospective congressional vacancy
in Ehie first district oftcr March 4
and arrives at a queer conclusion
in regard to thc g-0\'ert1Or's duty
in thc matter of calling pan election -
tion to fill thc vacancy. The
Star reaches a finding in the
words :
'Any fairly , representative
agreement or distinct indication
of public judgment would very
likely bc carried out by a govcr-
'
1101' ,
'Vhy t.requires i an oIagreemcn t"
of any kind , "reprcscntnth'e" or
otherwise to make ) effective a
mandatory provision of thc constitution -
5titution of the United States is
indccd news of thc most sensational -
tional character and worthy of
liberal headlines in display type.
'l'herc is a poorly concealed intimation : -
mation in thc paragraph quotcd
that may lie nearer the truth of
what the Star really means co.
but docs not say. Thc harmonic
that vibrate between , above and
below the printed line of thc
M
Star's statement seems to hum
that on ag-rcemcnt of politicians
"so to po" would lead thc governor -
nor to call an election to fill thc
vacancy and give thc first district
thc rights to which it is entitled
under every \\'rittf word , every
letter and the broadest spirit of
thc constitution under which wc
live , ,
\Vhy is there provision in the
constitution for thc filling of a
congressional vacancy ?
That no section of the country
Justly entitled to it , may be denied -
nied representation iii i congrcss.
After March 4th , if thc governor i
remains inactive in this mattcr is
not thc first district denied repre-
sentation every day thc governor
permits the vacancy : . . . to exist ?
What kind of an "ag-rcemcnt.
is it necessary for us ! to enter in-
to in thc first district to secure
our constItutional rights and
privileges of congressional representation -
'resentation ' ? A little more light
from thc "Star" may serve to illuminate -
luminatc a more or less dense ignorance -
norance that seems to envelope
this small corner of thc footstool
where "wc" H\'c.-Nebraska City
'Vcekly.
"Thcrc is thc fellow that coined
the Burling-ton's catch sentence
advertisements "its cool
summer ; r
: in Colorado ? "
I
.
DO YOU : KNOW ' OUR PRICE
1 FOR BUTTFR FAT
, Last half of January is 2SC her pound. .
Do you know this means $ I. 12 I to $1. i 25 per hun-
drcd for milk ?
Do you know during the winter of got wc paid as
high as 27C for butterfat ; and 25C in 1903 ?
Do you know these are better prices than dairy-
_ men of New York , \Visconsin , and other old dairy
states who follow dairying- exclusively , are realizing for
their milk produced on farms worth S moo and more per
care ?
Do you know this beats raising dollar wheat or
fifty-cellt . corn ?
Do von know we paid more money to the farmers '
of Nebraska in 1904 than all other creamery companies
operating in the state ?
Do you realize what you are losing if you are not
the owner of a De Laval hand separator and one of our
patrons
Do you know that we sell the De Laval , the best
separator on earth ? .
Do you know that out of a total of 20 , 000 separ- I-
ators used in Nebraska 5,000 are De Lavals ? , f
Do you know if you are not one of our 20,000 pa-
trons , that it will be to your interest to call on our representative -
resentative and talk this over.
I
BEATRICE CREAMERY co. . -
\ \ ' e sell separators on easy terms. \ ' :
jt j t
For Further Particulars , see
WHITAKER BROS. I : a
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