falls City Tribune
BY TRIBUNE PUBLISHING CO.
" ' NEBRASKA
FALLS CITY - -
.
The other great American national
game Is now on. This ono has no
Jdtty.
With n. capital oC $5,000,000 the hero
business offers n. fine opening for
young ; men.
Woman never wades around the
edges or an argument. . She dives In
and then swims out-if she can.
The man who spends his time think-
Ing what ho would do If he had a mU-
Hon dollars never gets a million dol-
Jars.
An up - to . date Boston undertaker
now descries himself a.s a "morti-
cian. " His Latin is as bad as his
. .
taste.
-
It was peculiarly appropriate that
an inventor \ of air ships should have
been blown up by an empty whisky
barre ]
The St. Dunstan edition of Dickens ,
130 volumes , at $1,000 a volume , will
. hardly become popular In circulating
Hbraries.
Dean Tufts of Chicago university
describes flirting as good mental ex-
ercise. Then the dean evidently favors
coeducation.
A woman always thinks she could
save n. great deal of money if the man
who earns It for her spent less . -
New York Press.
An unfortunate woman has gone
crazy through trying to keep secrets.
There seems to be no danger of. an
epidemic of this sort.
The Putagonlans object to being
photographed. A glance at the pic-
ture of one explains why they should
entertain these objections.
. Sir Charles Duke will now be voted
the loveliest man In all England. He
has come out flat-footed for the admis-
sion of women to parllament.
That whirring sound that comes
. from New Jersey Is simply Harriman
grinding his' tomahawk before once
marc taking the trail after "Jim" Hill.
"
. A New York alienist declares that
Hetty Green is insane. Tut ! Tut !
Hetty hasn't been going around vol-
unitarily to have her taxes raised , has
t :
she ? .
A Chicago policeman was robbed of
, , part of his uniform while he was attending -
tending church. No policeman has
ever complained of having lost anything -
thing in a saloon.
I'
The handsome young woman who
allowed a hairdresser's bill for dyeing
her tresses to get into the courts and
the newspapers must have the courage -
age of her convictions.
4/Strlkes are hell , " says Bishop
. Spalding. They are ; they are. Any
. . good batter who has made three of
, ' . them when a home run was needed
will agree with the bishop.
) '
, , , " A New Jersey woman who wants a
a. , . ' divorce because her husband 'BI'll'Okes
. a pipe Indoors , might have broken
, . . him of the habit , maybe , If she had
begun smoking cigarettes berself.
J If the South Carolina Supreme court
' : . sustains the decision that a woman
, . . . hugged on a railroad train is entitled
to damages from the company , the
tempting tunnel will have to be abel '
1shed.
ACTOR FEARED A MIX-UP.
Japanese Valet and Russian Wolf-
hound Not a Good Combination.
William H. Crane , the actor , has
ns many friends in Washington as
an Ohio pOllllclan.
'f lie lawmakers
have never forgotten -
ten his favorite
play of some sea-
sons ago , and he
' R always called
Crane recently I
"s e r. at 01' . " Mr. I.A
played In Washington -
ington , and was
royally r e c e iv ed I
at the White
house the Capitol
and the clubs. While at one of the
latter a gentleman who had enjoyed
the actor's performance remarked :
'VeIl , Crane , I want to make you
a present. I'm going to give you a
Jog. " .
"What breed ? " asked the actor.
"A Russian woHhoun'd , " was the
eply.
"Sorry , " said Mr. Crane , "but I
can't accept a Russian wolfhound. "
"Why ? " asked the friend in sur-
prlse.
"I have a Japanese valet , " answered -
ed the actor , "and as for myself , I'm
neutra1.-New York Times.
- -
Knots.
cNR N PAW
Rlfl
KNOT CRANNY
KNOT
Ic
aoiDLC
SURCONS
KNOT . ,
The illustration shows how to tie
them.
An illuminating Crab.
One of the marine curiosities fished
some time ago from the bottom of the
Indian ocean was a mammoth sea
crab which continually emitted a
bright white light , similar to that seen I
in the spasmodic flashes of phosphorescent - i
escent luminosity emitted by the com- :
man glow-worm. The crab was cap-
tured in the daytime and placed in a
large tank containing specimens of
fish , nothing peculiar except its immense -
mense size being noticeable in the
broad glare of the tropical sun. At
night , however , when all was pitchy
darkness , the crab lit ] up the tank so
that the other creatures in it could be
plainly seen.
Whole Alphabet Here.
In this ingenious monogram every
letter of the alphabet can be made
out.
Blood the Best Fertilizer.
A superstition dating from olden
times exists to the effect that roses
and flowers generally attain greater
beauty in soil fertilized by blood , especially -
pecially human blood , Ulan elsewhere.
Persons who have visited New-
market , England , know of the so-
called "bloody flower of Newmarket , "
which is found nowhere else than in
the old moat , now filled up , and in
which , according to traditions , a very
large quantity of human remains are
Interr d. ' These flowers bloom in
June and July and by the bloodlll
hue of their blossoms suggest the
name which bas been given to them.
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A WAIF'S PICTURE GALLERY.
Record of Good Work Cone by New
York Philanthropists.
One of the oddest sights In New
York is the picture gallery of successful .
ful waifs fn the rooms of the Cll11.
dren's Aid society , on East 22d street.
There fs none other like ] it in the
world. Hundreds oC faces look out
of their simple frames. They are oC
every nationality , type , age and color.
Since 1853 more than twenty thou-
sand waifs and strays have been
placed In families by the society , situations -
\mUons have been found for some
twenty-five thousand more , and over
five thousand runaways and "lasts"
have been returned to she1ters.
Of the rescued , one has become the
governor of a state , another the gov
ernor of a territory , two members of
Congress , two sheriffs , two district
attorneys , one city attorney , foUl
members of state legislatures , three
county commissioners , twenty-seven
bankers , twenty-two merchants , four
hundred and sixty clerks , thirty-four
lawyers , seventeen physicians , eight
postmasters , three railroad officials ,
thirty-six railroad men , ten real estate
agents , fifteen newspaper and literary
men , eighty-one teachers , four high
school principals , one superintendent
of schools , one civil engineer , twenty-
one clergymen , and over a thousand
have enlisted In the United States
.
army and nav ' .
GOES BACK TO 1639. I
When First Book Printed in America
Was Published.
In Cambridge the first book pub-
shed in America was printed. Over
He that learns his A B
ne er , B. C ,
For ever will a Blockhead be ;
. . &Appla BHu1I CCs }
D.Dog E1 FFs
G o8t a J i
1 in omit
" PAGE OFTIENEw , NGLAND / '
. \pRIMER..A \ oUr 1780. .
the entrance of the oldest printing
establishment in the country , which
produced this early book , stands to-
day the date 1639. That was the year
printing was begun 'tn the colonies of
Great Britain in America.
New England's output of books is
varied. It includes volumes of alII
sizes , prices and kinds , from the exquisite - :
quisite little classic fn prose or verse ,
made to fit the vest pocket , by Mosh-
er of Portland , and selling for
twenty-five cents at retail , to the
richest books ever printed , made of
vellum and parchment , bound in
levant and selling at $1,000 a volume ;
from the Old Farmer's Almanac ,
smallest and most ancient of New
England periodic publications , to
'Vebster's dictionary , the largest sin-
gle volume In general use.
Cookery Lessons for Men.
A course of cookery lessons "fOT'
men only" bas recently been initiate !
tn Copenhagen under the auspices of
an influential committee. It was felt
that there were in that city a large
number of young unmarried men ,
such as students and clerks , who were
debarred from any real home. com-
forts , and that a knowledge Gf cook-
ery would aid them towards domesti-
cated habits , to say nothing of bene-
fiting their dlgestloIl .
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4Q
WOMEN'S WOES. ! f
' I
- ,
Much of women's I , :
' - n daily woe Is due to - . . . ,
kidney trouble. Sick . . . & . :
r kidneys cause backache - " ' _ '
'
' ' . .
ache , languor , blind - " "
. . . ,
headaches , dizziness - I
ness , insomnia and
urinary troubles. To'T - :
cure yourself you '
must cure the ldd-
neys. Profit by the
experience ! of oth- f
era who have been
cured.
Mrs. William W. !
Brown , profession-
al' nurse , of 16 Jane St. , Paterson , N. J. , ,
says : "I have not only seen much suf- )
fering and many deaths from kidney l
trouble , but I have suffered m 'self. At
one time I thought I could not live. 1
My back ached , there were frequent \
headaches and dizzy spells , and the )
kidney secretions were disordered. ,
Doan's Kidney Pills helped me from '
the first and soon relieved me entirely -
ly of all the distressing and painful
symptoms. " -
, A FREE TRIAL of this great kid-
ney medicine which cured Mrs. Brown
will be mailed on application to any
part of the United States. Address
Foster-Mllburn Co. , Buffalo , N. Y. For
sale by all druggists ; price 50 cents
per box.
{ '
Not David the Psalmist.
David Belasco and Henry de Mille
collaborated once on a. play in which
they used the line from the Psalm of
.David , "Lord how long shall the
wicked , how long shall the wicked
triumph ? " The actor to whom this
line fell expressed his dissatisfaction
over It , and confided his feelings to
De Mme. "Are you stuck on it ? " the
actor asked him. "Yes , " said De
Mille , "I must confess I nm. You see , .
. t .
the line Isn't mine ; it's David's. " "I
thought so" said the actor ; "anyone ' ,
could toll that was some of Dave Be--t
lasco's bad EngIlsb. "
She Was Kissed.
The bride and groom sat side by m
side "Dearest , " he said , looking up ,
'
Into her eyes , for he was smaller , so
that he really and truly looked up and
'
into her eyes. '
"Yes , love , " she responded in soft ,
frightened mouse tones
Y
"If I had known that tunn61 was
that long I would have kissed ) 'ou. "
"Didn't you kiss me ? " she asked
with much surprise.
"No , " he repIled. I
" 'V ell , somebody did.-Cleveland ,
Leade ' i
:
.
Rheumatism in Utah. b
Frisco , Utah , May 2nd.-There is a -
great deal of Rheumatism In this and
neighboring states , and this painful
disease has crippled many a strong
man aid woman among an otherwise
healthy people.
Recently , however , there has been
introduced into Utah a remedy for . '
Rheumatism which bids fair to stamp ,
out this awfully paluful complaint.
The name of this new remedy is
Dodd's Kidney Pills , and It has already - 1
ready wrought some wonderful cures.
Right here in Frisco there is a case ,
. S' : a Mr. Grace who had Rheumatism tl ,
.aa bad in his feet that he could hardly . 7
'Want. He tried many remedies In . '
vain , but Dodd's Kidney Pills cured i
him. , I
him.His wife says : "We both had Kld- "
uey Trouble , and my husband had the t
: heumaUsm so bad that be could ? - a
hardly walk. We used Dodd's Kid-
ney Pills with much benefit. We have I
tried many remedies , but none have f .
done us so much good as Dodd's Kid-
ney P11ls. "
Similar reports come from all over
the state , and It would seem as If . . . .
Rheumatism had at last been con- . . :
quered.
. -
A married man's Idea of heaven " Js
a place where he won't be compelled
to dig up the price of an Easter bon-
net. . . . . . . -cI-
.
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