WJ \
\ ' _ April , . 8 _ 190 _ _ _ _ _ . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ THE ALLS CITY TRIBUNE _ 7
FACTS AND FANCIES.
BY ALLAN D. f\IAY.
, < , - - - - -
' There is no reason why a man who
likes to talk and shout ,
1 , I\ \ : Should suffer for the want of things to
Y ' "chew the " about
r 'I - rag" ,
For in this busy world where live thc
. foolish and thc wise ,
i The man who wants an argument , can
: _ . . - . ' I- find one if he tdc"
f. , .
,
One stormy winter afternoon
. when loudly roared the blast , and
with the gray wind driven clouds
the sky was overcast ; a day that
makes man think about thc bill
, . for coal hc owes , the Crackerjack
. Debating club had met at Beau-
_ , lieu's. In order that some question -
tion might be brought up and
discussed , a certain member light-
.1 lyr made a reference to a trns
That word was like a lighted
match tossed in a powder catl-
there came a spluttering sound
' : _ ' . and then the argument bcgan.
Up spike an aged patriot and
said in solemn tones , " 'I'his coun-
. try's going to thc dogs , I feel it
in my boncs. Wily teach our noble
: . i. youth to strive and gain by honest
f .J' toil the gold that they eventually -
ually must pay for Standard Oil ?
. . What chance will our sons ever
, have to get and hold a job com-
pared to that of Vanderbilt or
S. S \Iorgan ! , or of Schwab ? . 'l'he
: ' ; 'rich are getting very rich , the
. poor are going broke ; ncnc may
t . , , , ' . complain. if stings the goad or
. heavy grows thc yoke.
, 'if , . ' Oh blasted foe ! Oh goldarncd hand ,
_ r "
l That grasps thy throatmy native lan !
.
-d : ; - It breaks m- heart to see the
land so burdened and accursed.
I am ferniest the government' '
hurrah for Villie Hearst ! " Just
' > . then his son came in the door and
. : , r" , in his hand he had an offi iallook-
' : , : ' . ing letter which he handed to his
, dad. The old man broke . thc seal
' ' ' '
<
i : - " ' and read the letter to the ends and
' , ' .
- 1'G1.111d the oil stock that hc owned
.
, , - had drawn a dividcnd. lIe cut
.
his stirring speech off short and
, ' . . in his sleeve he laughed , and
, .
' ; " the nearest bank and
\ ; 1 went up to
, - - -
, - . - " - : promptly cashed the draft.
, " " " , or . 0
'I. i , ; ; A tHing the silence
: ; : , lp& moment on
. . . : . . : f . _ ; : ' . , ' ; the smoke beclouded air : and then
' . . " ; . ! , Jj. . , : ) . . l . . > , . ' another patriot movcd forward
" .J { ' ' .
' . . , . . .
: ' " Jr.1' l . ; .c ; \ ' , 'in his chair and spat against the
; { \ ' . . J . ' : l'ccl hot stove and raised his voice
ca' . ; r , . , and , said , " 'l'he roan who howls
r f ; ' " , S - 'calamity had better far be dcad.
- : : : - ' ; , " - -k' ' - - " . ' . Across ' this fair and fertile land
" - : ! , ' . 'from mountain range to sea , thc
' . , . t ' . : , people are .as prosperous and as
'
i i S ; " . ; happy as can be. . Across the
' . \ ' : : . . . , : - . ocean far away : each foreign nation -
' . . . ' : , t . tion waits to buy the cargoes that
: - } \ > : we ship from these United States.
, < " r : : And they are sending back their
- , . 't ' . . gold to swell " "our treasure chest-
" \ . . . .
. > ' , . : ' of all thc natiomis on the earth ,
: . ' > , ' : we arc the richest blest. Our
.
. : ' : ; ; : ; , : navy carries the starry flag where
. / ' r it had thc constitu-
. . { never gone ;
, ' , r ' ! ' -.F ; , ; . . . tion in its wake , goes hurrying
! " ; \ . r
, . i. . . " t. , " ' : ; ' . .
' aS . ; : ' : ff : , .
, ' ' . . ! " ' '
.
'
" "t-- "
-r
'I
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. . . . . ' p Al -
: ' . T1Tr - -
on and on. Our factory wheels
turn 'round and 'round , the busy
miner del " s-j ust give thc darn-
ed trusts rope enough and they
will hang thcl11sel "CS. I'm proud
to live in such a land where no
one need be lOor. ? Three cheers
for Uncle Samuel and hurrah for
Theodore ! He paused to catch
his breath and erc a word escaped -
ed his lip , a man stepped ( up and
handed ( him a little paper slip.
Across his face an awful look of
bitter anguish stole-he fainted
but his hand still held thc unpaid
bill for coal.
The subject then was quickly
changed and someone made remark -
mark about thc armor plate they
used when Noah built the ark.
This led to talk of battle ships
and navies spick and span , which
lcd in turn to hostile acts of
Russia and Japan. One , man
there was who made a noise that
sounded like a. sneeze preceeclecl
by a dying groan and followed
by a wheezc. When pressed by
others to explain just how he
caught the grip , he said he simply -
ply spoke the name of some big
Russian ship. A storm of pro-
test loud arosc-mcn swore with
all their might , the name was
not pronounced that way , the ac-
cent wasn't right. One mat said
it was not a ship but was instead
a town and he pronounced it in a
way that jarred thc stove-pipe
down. \Then , Toni Glincs , tried
. to put it back hi' hands were sad-
ly l. . > Urn d-thc Crackerjack Debating -
bating club , on motion stood ad-
journcd. -
Each for his principle argued ;
Nobody faltered or wince ; .
Each may have proved his position ,
But 110 one at all was convinced.
il.cst Cough Medicine For Cr.i1dren.
Vhen you buy a cough mcdi-
cinc for small children you wan t
one in which you can place implicit -
plicit confidcnce. You want one
that not only relieves but cures.
You want one that is unquestionably -
ably harmless. You want one
that is pleasant t to takc. Cham-
bcrlaiL1s Cough' Remedy meets all
these conditio'ns. There is noth-
ing so good for the coughs and
colds incident to chi1dhood. For
sale by A. G. Vanner.
. . .
uttrJa. - - - - = -CO = .a =
Staple nd
.
F&.fiCY Grccerie y
FRUIT IN SEASON
Try Our 1775 Coffee
f Hi i he3t a.rket r Price
Pai'.l for Butter and
EIigs.
First Door North
of Post Office. . .
PHONE 14
A. , G. HOPPOCK
. . - - . . . - , - -
UNION BUS & CAB LINE
WALLACE & HAUCK , Proprietors.
.
Passengers . conveyed to and from all trains and
to and front all parts of the city. - .
Call a cab when you want to make a train. It
will cost you no more than to call a bus.
Parties meeting friends or seeing friends off will
be carried free of charge both vays.
For funerals . , our cabs are ideal conveyances. .
For receptions , balls , theatre parties , etc. , -
caB a cab.
Careful and attentive , drivers
P Ii 0 N E n 56 CAL LOR NKHiT..D
J1 i DAY OR NIGHT. . . .
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RACING WITH A MOOSE.
A Maine Man Well Mounted Tries to
Run It Down and Fails
Ernest G. Judkins , bookkeeper
for thc Kineo company , had a re .
markable experience with a bull
moose on Ow rl'iage road to
Deer Head farm , two miles from
Khll'o : , says the 1 Bangor . " Commel" . .
cia 1. -
sir. J udkim was taking a morn-
ing ride , galloping along a level I
stretch , when the horse came to a
standstill with n jolt and a snort.
Looking almond , MI' Judkins saw a
bull moose feeding on the tender
sprouts of the bush ( ' m growing boY
the roadside , not i0 ( yards awa ' .
nIl' JudkilH first impulsc was to
ride the moose down , hut , lw
thought better of this , and hooted
to attract the animal's attention ,
and possibly to frighten him from
the road , so that lie l could proceed ,
but the moose fed calmly on. At
the end of a few minutes the beast
moved down the road in search of
more food , and MI' Judldns followed -
lowed at a respectful distance ,
hooting until his throat was !
hoarse , 1)111 , he might just as well ) ]
have whispered as far as thc moose
was eonc " 'l'ned. This proceeding
was repeated over half a mile of
the road. .
At the end of that distance the
moose faced aboutand began fped-
ing toward the horse and rider ,
casting an unconcerned look in
their direction every ; now and
then , and MI' : Judkins' steed did
the backstop for a few rods. This
was a little too much for the
horseman , and , becoming impa
tient , he gave a tremendous ; yell
to attract the attention of the
moose , which was successful ,
plunged spurs into the horse , and (
made for the impudent highwaJ'
man poll mel ]
\Vith the first leap of the horse
the indifference . . of the . . mOOSt\
- - - - - - - - - - -
lmnged to eom'PI'u , am1 , turning
abruptly ahout' ( , he started down
the road : at a great , clumsy trot.
This put a nt'w and interesting
phase to the situation , and , urging - .
fug on his hot.sp1' : \ . Judkins pro.
deeded 10 have his turn at the
sport , only hoping that the moos
would kepI > 1'0 t Ill' road. The moose
: obliged in his i particular and the
'
horse was a good one and , entered
into the spirit of' the chase , but
try as he could the distance between .
tween him and the fleeing anima I
did not lessen 1'el'ially.
"I never saw anything like it , "
said Mr. tJudkins to the corre-
spondent. "Thn great , ungainly
animal trotting on aiead ! as chum ,
sily as a l'azOl'.ba'k runs , and
maintaining lead with a1Jpat' .
.
entlv no effort whatever , while my
horse was legging it for all that
was in him. 1 had heard that
moose had SIJep ( ] , 1m when I start-
ed after that bull I would have laid
ten to one , i hat I could overhaul
him inside of : 200 ( ) . yards-that I .
could have ridden nil around him. "
After a hot rare ( covering fully
half a mile , he t moose turned into
the forest and disHDIJCared.
School of Few Pupils. . _
- - -
The little islet of NOl'dstranct-
schmor , in the North sea , boasts
what is probably the smallest
school in the wOl'ld. Oceanic up -
heaval has wrenched the islet
away from the island of Nord-
strand , and the action of the sea
is continually wearing the earth
a waJ' . A century ago there were
50 inhabitants , who lived by fish-
ing and rude husbandry , and in
183G a little school was erected ,
capable of providing for about n
dozen children. With the dwin
dung of the islet , however , the
population has thinned , and now
numbers no more than 15 souls.
For five years past the school attendance -
tendance hUB varied fl'om nothing
to half-a.dozen children.
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