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( I TilE FALLS CITY TRIBUNE 7
, February 5 , HO-t- ) _ _ _ . _ _ . hu _ . _ _ _ _ _ _ . _ _
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FACTS AND FANCIES
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BY ALLAN D. MAY.
It 4ed to bc that wealth and fame
. ere very ha1"(1 to get ;
All great success through effort came ,
Well earned by honest swcat.
But now they have success for sale.
Dirt cheap to any man ,
't'hey scnd it to you through thc mail ,
( i. . . . By thc correspondcncc plan.
Arc you aweary of thc plow ,
The saw-buck and the saw ?
\\Th.y longer milk thc family cow ?
Why such small wages draw ?
no seek and find a sweet relief ,
For tlllybod.y call
Bc doctor , lawyer , merchant , chief ,
B.y thc correspondence plall.
N'o : walk of life is barred to these
" . Who tire of cmllc3s toil
" . : , . And have the price of entrance fees
! LI. . Y . , And midnight Standard oil ;
.1 ; ; > Soon at a truly wondrous rate ,
' . : , I'm confident they can
, _ ; ' . - Grind out arch-bishops while you wait
I' , . - ny thc correspondence plan.
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. : < : ' Did you ever notice how friend-
, . . .
: : ! : , , . . ly a cat is when 1 It is hungry 1 ? .
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w No woman ever admitted that
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F ' a cake she had baked was better
than she thought ! it would bc.
! t.
I. . . ; . ' , . . :
: \Vhen young' men decide to hire
. " " : _ sleighs they don't care so much
i' ' ' ' ; : ' : ' ' , . , about the bells as they do about
I t , : > - - thc benes. .
I : \ ; . A man can't say that l he apprc-
" . " 4 ; " datcs classical music until he can
recognize a selection that he has
. heard before.
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' . .
! - . ; - - - Somc authors remind us of thc
_ tyrants' the dark ages because
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\ ' . . r they . treat their subjects in such
: . . , ' . " . . . . ' , . a barbarous manner.
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r.f1- " "t > r . . . Fine tools don't make : a good
' ' ; ; ' ; ' . ) fS : workman. The worst penman
. r r .
: : ! ; .
. :
, ; we know of always uses a gold
'
! ! , : pen with a diamond point.
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J. .
: . . It is often very difficult to state
. . . . what you know in plain lang-uag
ik , : \Vhcn YOU meet a man who enquires -
It , , .
' quires where a certain house is ,
. ; ' ' ' .f.\ , " you realize this fact.
# 5\ \ . : . .y. . " ' . .
' 'Vhcn a certain man went home
r _ at 1100n he gave his wife two five 1
. , .
' : - ' dollar bills. Mien he went home
' . that evening she had them both
: : . .f : ' . nicely hem stitched and the 1ig--
M. : : - . . . .
: : O"- tires embroidered in pink sllk.
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' f A young lady whose mother
. } ; , \ - thinks her too delicate to run a
, . . .
- - . sewing machine , will pump a
. : . - . < . -
; : parlor organ for hours at a time ,
. : . playing accompanianicnts to the
. . . ' - : ; . silliest love songs you ever hcard.
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iP' . . . - - ' - ' -
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.4' ' ? : ' , : 'Ve hail with delight the revival -
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, , : vival of the roller skating fad.
'Ve long for the exciting exhil-
' iration of the rink 'Ve cannot
" , , , " _ dance ; we cannot play golf , but
: ( j ; , ' we feel that without doubt we
'A'L- can roller ] ] skate. Long rears ago
: ' there was a skating rink hi tHis
,
, . ' town and as a boy we watched
4 e1'
. j the whirling devotees of the
sport glide round and' round.
. : Many the head end collision we
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r . : : I : : . . . c . .
have applauded : many a portly
lace have we seen subside into
an undig-niiicd heap , aitel great
was thc fall tliereof A football :
; ; ante is hilarious , but the uproar-
ious tumultousl1css of the skat-
ing" rink is more so. In those
clays wc learned to roller skate ,
but just as we had mastered the
art and reached a degr.'e of skin
that cnablcd us to -g-lide over thc !
polish floor with the grace of a
swan and the charming sang
froid of a wen' bred automobile ,
the bottom dropped out of the fad
and the doors of the rink were
c1med. By the way , a skating
rink is one of the places where a
man cannot be expected to stand
pat.
The following news itch has
been handcd in : 1\Iiss Veda Von-
sniith entertained at a ground
hog party on 'J'ncsday e\'ening-
, With her it was a ground hog
case. She has been invited to
nearly every party that has becn
given in town for several seasons
and hael never cntertaincd. . She
had to do something hc dropped -
ped from sodety. \fcr party
'l'ucsday nightvas a very tame
affair and the refreshments were
.
very 1)11111. "
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In our educational dcpartment
this week win be found the following -
lowing problem : A plank 12 feet
long and weighing 24 pounds is
supported hy two props , one three
feet from one end and the other
one foot from the other cnd.
\Vhat is the pressure on each
prop ? Ve admit that we could
not solve this problem if we wanted -
eel to , hut we think it would bc
interesting know what kind of
a plank it was that was 12 feet
long and only weighed 24 pounds.
Ring out ye hells , ring out tonight ;
Beat time , ye hoofs , tu the merry
song ;
For over thc snowfield \'asts and white ,
The moon is pouring its silver : light
And smoothly thc minters glide
along
Ring out ye bells , dug swcct and clear ;
neat time ye hoofs to thc glad re-
frain ; .
For ; thc end of the journey is drawing
hear ;
The hour of home coming is almost here
And the moon in thc west shall fade
and { wanc.
Ring out ye bells and the echoes wake ;
Beat time , ye hoofs , white the voices
sing ;
Our souls tomorrow may grief o'ertakc
And tears may he falling and hearts
may break ,
But not tonight-ring oat ye hells !
D. S. McCarthy
PROPRIETOR OF
CITY DRAY LINE
Special Attention to Household l\\o\'fng.
,
Falls City . - - Nebraska ,
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To The Public '
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I have opened up a stock of Groceries ,
Flour and Feed in the Sol C. Stump i
building , one , block west of the First
National Bank , where I will keep on
hand at all times a complete and up-to.
date stock of everything in IllY line , at I
prices that are as low as is consistent I
with first class goods. Call and get our
prices. .
Eo J0 Shields
PI-lONE 2J.2 :
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LOCAL AND \ PERSONA
Rube Horrocks was in Pawnee
City over Sunday : , !
Miss Buc1ah Fry went to
Newkirk , O. T. , 'l'uesd.ay.
J. A. Hcim and wife of ) aw-
son visited in Fal1s City . I\'lonelay. '
G. H. Harper of Shubert was a
Falls City visitor thc last of the
w\ck.
Pat Higgins : of'Ba1"l1ston , is in
the city visiting : : friends and rela-
tives i .
1\1rs. 1-.L Giannini and daugh-
tcr Laura left 1\'Ionday for a vIsit
in J.i'airfax , 1\10.
E . Birdsley of Verdon was in
thc city on business the latter
. part of the week
Newton Camblin of Highland ,
Ii tn. , was in the city this week
visiting his mother.
J. S. Johnston & Sons fine new
delivery wagon is attracting much
attention. It is a beauty and no
111 Stake.
Miss Dora Richards has resigned -
ed her position as book keeper
for V. G. Lyford and the place
has been taken by Harry : Morrow
of Mound City.
The Pacific Express Co. , has
opencd an up town office in Hall
and Greenwald's shoe store , a
fact that will be greatly appre-
cialc uy the patrons of the com-
pan .
The Frank Uhlig- hardware
store rcccntly purchased by 1\lr.
1\1eyers of Hastings has been clos-
ed this week while the stock was
being invoiced prior to the formal f -
mal transfcr.
Sunday school at the Brethren
church at 10 a. m. , sermon and
reception of members at 11 a. m.
Evening services 7:30 : , subject
1I'I'he Last Judgment. " Evan-
gelistic services each evening
nest weck. An are wclcome.-
E. E. Haskins , pastor.
'rhe long cold snap has been
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felt more keenly hy 1)r. Rcneher :
than by most people , not that the
doctors coal 1 lin is in d hanger of
depletion , but because thc icy
roads have ndcred the use oi'
autb'.noliles impossible. : The
doctor is i ! quite an automobile enthusiast -
nsiast and when compellcd to
reSOl t to the use of horses in
looking after his practice , he
naturally has reasons for C011l-
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plain .
A travcllinll' man reached this
city Monday : night and when he
got to thc Union Hem he ( his-
covercd that he had left his false
teeth on thc train. The telephone -
phone and telegraph were pressed
into service and thc missing teeth
located and in due time .
were ( returned -
turned to thc owncr.
' [ 'hc- liverymen experienced
some dimculty on Sunday in meet-
ing- the demands for slcig-hs. The :
people generally dcsired to take
advantage of the first sleighing
of the season and thc merry
sound of the bells was heard in
the land.
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It is prohahly only a question
of time until thc Missouri Pacific
freight division will be located in
this city. The Atchison Globe !
i
in commenting on the situation
says that Falls City will ] ] unt - tj
matcly be made thc divi ion ! !
poi n t. l
Sexagesima Sunday at the St
'I'homa ! church on February 7.
Holy communion and sermon at
11 a. m. Evensong and sermon
7:30 : p. m. Strangers invited to
attend all services. -IIenry B.
Smith , Rector.
There will be preaching ser-
' vices held in the Presbyterian
church on next Sunday morning
and evening the pulpit being
occupicd by Rey. S. \V. Griffin
ofTahoo , Ncbraska. A cordial
invitation is extended to attend
these scrviccs.
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