1
n
Lf
THEY TOOK HIM IN
A Surprise That Ruffled an Absent
minded Scientist
A certttili fuivixu scientist who lec
tured in I liis country was to say the
trust cureless about dress Once Iip
vns asked in lecture in a city not far
JJroiu IMiiladliiiia JJe went taking
with lilm his dress suit and no other
snilt Having given ids lecture he
spent the nilil ai tin house of a I
professor voie up the ueM nioiu
big cheerfully donned the dress suit
and sallied fortli to give another lec
ture at the local college
Ie didnt know Just where the col
ifege was hut spying an imposing
looking building not far from his
Btrsts residc nce decided that that was
it While walking toward the door he
ittddeuly saw an ant hill Hugs wen
Bis specialty Ue dropped at once lo
It is knees dress suit and all and stun
ts I to scoop out ants
Ehe next thing he knew he was sur
rounded by a body of men who had
cashed out from the imposing looking
building They seized him roughly
aid proceeded to drag him indoors
iTt gesticulated Lie protested in many
languages It was of no avail At last
Uowever explanations were forthcom
ing
The Imposing looking building was
none other than the lunatic asylum
Seeing a man attired In a dress suit
digging up ants al 10 oclock in the
morning the attendants had thought
that an inmate had escaped hence the
sally and attack Philadelphia Record
VARNISH TROUBLES
She Complaint That ts Made by a
Piano Manufacturer
The piano manufacturer was talking
A fortune of a million dollars at
least he said awaits the man who
aan invent a varnish which will re
spond to changes of temperature in
exactly the same rate at which wood
responds
Everybody who ever has made or
owned a highly polished article of fur
niture knows that the surface is liable
to break into small cracks become
finely crackled and thus its beauty
This crackling is caused by the
ict that suddeu changes of tempera
ture affect varnish especially tine
niano varnish almostlnstantly while
rlje wood beneath contracts or ex
pands at a different rate This splin
ters the varnish and thus far no man
ufacturer has been able to get tin
Best of the situation
We are waiting for this entirely
aossible elastic varnish which when
R shall come will be more welcome to
Hie manufacturers of tine furniture
ritan the flying machine is to the world
lit large A piano delicate as it is
wuld be stored in an icehouse without
detriment to its polished surface pro
Tided the temperature wa Kept even
hut changes especially if sudden are
final to the beauty of the case
Spw York Press
Her Patriolic Protest
Tin force of natural and instinctive
fjride in ones country has been end
lessly expressed in literatures of all
times and climes but rarely more dra
matically than in the following little
incident
Grieg as every one knows is the
jnusical idol of all Norwegians al
though it lias been the fashion of less
mlented outsiders to underrate him
One of the most indefatigable of these
detractors was the German composer
Bargiel a man of an instinctively jeal
ous nature
One day one of his pupils a Norwe
gian girl brought for her lesson a con
certo of Griegs Bargiel took it from
her with a smile of most superior dis
dain
But I told you to bring your music
and Grieg is no music he said scorn
fully
What Grieg no music was rhe
indignant reply Adieu flerr Profess
or And she swept out of the studio
Tsever to return
To Save Confusion When Moving
Ff you are planning to move prevent
3onfisior in ing furniture in the
new house iu the following manner
J3n leisure moments pteparea targe
eard for each mum to be tacked t the
sutside of the door frame ui umviiic
Assign a number and mark a
card for each In druom Letter tin
other cards wih the iiuiiio t tin
other rooms- Ihen ptepaiv a number
of smaller tags an iclmcr a to
each or use l nggag tar Marl
enough to put m all lurinture ti uuks
or boxes with the name ut Uie room
into which is fu be put Slnw
your movers the arrangement ami
there will he tittle or tm nor m pun
fiig while mi valuable time ami
strength will e nt in directing
Womans Hume tVmpauinu
Men Vt o Write Dacly
Tmctlce lKe pertei l lii all the
TTts and rafts it ivouid seem
JSarriuu that t penmanship iu that
apparently the more one practices the
more iinpcrfoci heroines the result pro-
faced and your real man of the pen
Tv rites in seven cases out of ten a hand
that would reflect discredit on his own
housemaid- Bookman
He Got It
Small Harold Papa wont you please
give me 5 cents Papa Not now Run
along Im very busy Small Harold
holding his bauds joined together
-Well papa just drop a nickel in the
i nii i
Slot ana see me go omcuyu kws
Pretty Small
The Agent 1 dont see how you Gnd
room for complaint in this apartment
The Tenant Nor I There aint even
room to take a deep breath Cleveland
Leader
tT
Cornels
We know ihiU ouwts m
Jain their immense eitvustmi iu pac
on acciiitui t the itiMieiiU uouviim
them being im sxivci umiuous thin
ner l hau l he ightfst filmy li re ut
summer says rrftssi ilaniil la
coby for we kuum sue iieis urt u
massive they alums wtU
out weight And tljts u wimu uitli
certainty because jiiiivwi j i
no peiturbaCiKS motion
tiiuoiig the plat i ue soiat sMiui
while I lie ineit ninif jtus at uiciuau
leal science tell tis bat a massive
come iiiisi surely disturb the usual
ordei planetary orbits A miet
mi lii itdeed strike the earth liugli
sn h a coilisiiiti is tuns Improbable
tui even if it should ever uccur the
visible effect would pmitalWv be mi
greater Mian those protluicij invasion
allv by ineieoritis or failing stars
The other possible danger lrom i
cornel the chance of suffciciilion Mmio
gases in the tail is also tiegaiiv d u
ai nial observation for it ts almost cer
tain that our earth did once tass
through a comets tail and uo oue no
ticed it at the tiie Only the subse
pient calculations of astronomer
brought out the fact tluit the couietarv
orbit and that of the earth really had
a com nion point of intersection and
that both bodies occupied that point at
the same time New York American
Doubtful Praise
A fullback iu a football team once
had the misfortune to put the ball
through his owu goal This regretta
ble error lost his side the game and
he suffered agonies of self reproach
on the long journey home
Im no more use than a chocolate
footballer he said to his sweetheart
who had traveled many miles to see
him play A slip of a boy from school
would have shaped better than i did
Now George I wont let you say
such horrid things about yourself
declared bis loyal sweetheart Youve
no Idea how popular you are i heard
a gentleman praising you up to the
skies this afternoon
Never emphatically exclaimed the
incredulous player
Oh but its quite truer she said
proudly He said youd brought bis
club the best bit of luck theyd had for
ages and he heartily wished yon were
playing against them in every match
Exchange
Melodrama to Suit the Locality
In New York Marry tue and give
me those papers and you will receive
snoo000 in cash Items and Ill toss
you from the Brooklyn bridge
In Wilkesbarre Pa And you will
receive seventy acres of richest an
thracite coal Refuse and you go into
a coal breaker Choose
In Denver And you will receive
7000 shares of Dmpste gold mining
stock worth umpste dollars a share
Refuse and you will be in
a stamp mill to Choose
in Memphis Teun And you will re
ceive 10000 bales of finest cotton Re
fuse and you go into the cotton gin
Choose
In North Carolina And you will re
ceive 18000 barrels of turpentine Re
fuse and you shall be boiled in resin
Choose Puck
London Cellar Restaurants
Before coffee stalls were instituted
the humblest places of refreshment
were cellars where the hard up as
the slang phrase wenL could dive for
a dinner with a choice of such viands
as tripe cow heeL sausages aud shin
of beef soup Some of the cellar res
taurants existed as recently as the ear
ly seventies of the last century in
Butcher row Temple Bar and the net
work of courts and alleys swept away
for the site of the royal courts of jus
tice It was in this neighborhood
and probably to a dining place of this
description that Dr Johnson resorted
iu his struggling days when he was
so poor thaL as he relates it was not
every day that he could afford a half
penny tip for the waiter Loudon
Chronicle
Welis In India
The question of wells in India is
complicated by the coexisteuce in each
community of two castes the purer
Hiudoos and Gonds on the one hand
the weavers on the other No weaver
may draw from the well of the Hin
doos lest it be defiled nor will the
Hindoo drink from the hands or the
well of a weaver Thus it becomes nec
essary either to dig two wells or to
depute a certain number ot the Hindoo
element to give water to their less ex
ulted fellow villagers
Almost Human
Oh George tearfully exclaimed his
wife meeting him at the door that
parrot you brought home the other
dayT
Whats the matter with binii ask
ed Mr Ferguson
I dont know He wont tell me
When 1 ask him what the trouble is
he just swears dreadfully Exchange
A Bright Boy
The gentlemen who came to see
daddy said 1 was one of the most in
telligent children they ever saw said
little Jack
Indeed said the proud awther
Did you recite Little Drops of Wa
ter for themi
No I refused London Mail
A Suggested Improvemeirt
Mrs Feedem to star boarder -Could
you suggest any Improvement in my
menu Boarder Well you might make
the experiment of transferring the re
spective qualities of the coffee aod the
butter Baltimore Americaa
Death is but the dropping of the
flower that the fruit may swelL
Beecher
ANTIQUITY OF OICE
Origin of These Devices Buried lo r
Remote Past
Scholars liie deaeil in Willi lor
I origin ol die nliiii in tttinw
Miai1 Iile ImM i ii lb li if i
Ui tllp II l lel ll -in
lliiMinuii l hi i ix I lieu niici
tor I he I - ol c ls 11
obtaiiiiuu ot dixiue iriiioaticc i tieo
mliptaiioii to a uame i ka
comparatively ipiue i event
There is a surprising number ol
varieties of dice bin they may be lf
vlded into two general classes lite
must lauuliar form is Hie cube iin
two exceptions- tin k i em and Ktrus
citn cubical dice uae tin spots so ar
ranged that the i aid one live and
two and three and tour are opposite
in - U i I he sum ol the opposite sides
iiuabl seven in ah ages I lie Hum
bei seven has been regarded Willi par
ticular awe and as having much mys
tic import
The dice just described are not only
proper in modem liurope and Ame
lea but to classical Greece and Koine
ancieni Syria Persia India Chum
I Japan and Slam Ihe other form i
the long square prism sometime
round amid prehistoric rums in Europe
and existing today in India
A most interesting torin Is i lie top
or spinning dlces with four or si
sides which was twirled with the
thumb ami second linger ot which a
specimen was discovered tit the re
mains of Naucratts a Greek colony or
GOO B C Two specimens of dice hav
been discovered at Babylon Harpers
Weekly
j AN ARCTIC RESCUE
The Feeling When the Relief Snip
j Came Into View
Very often during the mouths of
daylight we stood on the cliff straining
our eyes to see the longed for i elie
ship As the summer ot 1hi slipped
on we almost despaired but one day
iu July when hope had almost aban
doned us we saw one of the boys
jumping up and down and supposed
that at last his brain had given way
under the strain Iu fact many of us
were almost crazy witli the monotony
and anxiety that were upon us day
after day We watched a moment and
i wondered which of us would be the
next to go off his balance
j When we went to him and saw what
he saw the long looked tor relief ship
1 dont know whether we all jumped
for joy or what we did for we have
no memory ot our actions in that hour
ytttckly each man gathered his litflw
kit ready to rush to the boats aiid
leave forever that island where death
had stared us in the lace for sixteen
j mouths and where we had almost
given up all hope of ever again look
ing upon the faces of our lovedunes
I In our frantic haste to be gone many
of us left behind relics and records
j which we prized and later regretted
1 the loss of At the end of sixteen
months the relief ship Terra Nova had
arrived and we steamed to Norway
where our party divided some going
to London and others to Germany
Captain Edwin Colli if s Account of the
Ziegler Polar Expedition in National
Magazine
Has Seven Sons
A niitiir who had only one child a
I sou lout bini through an accidept by
i drowning when he was seventeen His
body was washed out to sea and never
recovered She very much- wanted a
portrait ot him and she called a tK
tuotis artist who was a friend of the
family He asked for every photo
graph she had of her son from baby
hood onward When the painting ar
rived it represented a glade iu a wood
Playing about were five little children
of various ages but all the same boy
as his mother had known him Com
ing down the center joyous gay was
the seventeen-year-old lad leading his
baby self of one year by the baud
The mother looked at the picture and
burst into tears 1 have lost seveu
twins she said
You had lost six of them before
your son died the artist replied
Stealng Sea Water
They anvsier me iu Italy for steal
ing a bucket of water out of the sea
The reporter laughed lie thought
that the tourist on the pier was jok
ing but the tourist resumed
Its a fact tou cant draw water
nut ot the Italian seas without a per
mit ihe idea is to prevent your dodg
ing the salt tax Salt you know is
very heavily taxed in Italy its a
government monopoly You buy it only
iu the government tobacco shops a
nickel a package vest pocket size And
the government wont let you moukey
with sea water lest you extract the
salt from it
Not Vindictive
There are germs lying iu wait for
you no matter where you turn said
the scientist
I know it replied the matter of
fact person 1 dislike germs as much
as anybody can but Im not going to
quit eating drinking and breathing
just to spite em Washington Star
The Widows View of It
Briggins a wily onei Nol shall
never marry 1 loved a girl once and
Bhe made a fool of me The Widow
disappointed of her preyi What a
lasting impression she seems to have
made Illustrated Bits
Pleasant Rehearsal
Fair Amateur The curtain will rise
in a few minutes Are you quite sure
you know your words Hero Yes
all except the part where kiss yon
Wed better rehearse that again
No man is really beaten until he
himself admits it
HIS STURDY WATCH
He Keeps It In Repair Himself With
the Aid ot Knife
Some ineii dont you know said
Mr Grillkilltoii will slop off a curb
srp down about a foot and break a
leu aid then -mother man will all
ib tup oi a Meuteei story house and
ei en m His clothes lid its
I mi lli way with watches
i i op ii watch the other day
uliout six iiciio nil to a thick plush
carpet and it i ost uie Sid toi repairs
When 1 vas out walking with my
friend Bwlllkwiilbv this morning he
dropped Ins watch on the sucwalk
and it tidnt so much as sn i
If sounded when It came down like
u safe falling out of a liii window
and it was only a two dollar watch
and 1 epii ted of course to see Bwill
kwiilby Jiist kick the fragments off the
sioi walk and pass on but it seems
Bwillkwillby knew the watch better
He picked up the crystal not even
cracked from when it had llowu sev
en feet aw and pill that in Ins pock
t and then he looked at the watch
It was going all right but some
how in the fall the long hand had got
beut lie straightened out that belli
hand with his pocketknife so that the
two pointers wouldnt catch and then
he pried off the crystal rim of the
watch and put the crystal back iu
-lace and then he snapped the rim
back on the front of the watch again
and dropped the watch in his pocket
and started on and As I was saying
he said just as if uothiug had hap
pened Washington Post
BfcSTING THE BOASTER
A Little Problem That Floored the
Lightning Calculator
Now gentlemen coucluded the
lightning calculator I ave demon
strated to you upon this ere black
board the marvelous speed and accura
cy insured by my great system of addi
tion substruction division and multi
plication and I trust that you are all
satisfied with the results Now gen
tlemen 1 ave ere a little shillitf book
let explainin my marvelous system in
full and by a careful persual of which
1 will guarantee you to become as ex
pert a lightnin calculator as myself
within the period of one week by
which time I shall be out ot the town
Ahem Now gentlemen when you re
call that I was straight away able to
multiply lll lll 11 115W7 by 937111
m111111 perhaps 3 011 will-
One moment sir called out a shrill
vlce from the back of the crowd
lint will you answer me a question
in no scholar myself but 1 was won
dering the other night how old a child
born iu September nineteen uought
sine would be in September nineteen
nought ten
The lightning calculator threw his
interrogator a look of contempt
One year of course my little man
he replied sarcastically
Well retorted the shrill voice 1
think if you were to go home and im
nrove your own arithmetic you would
find that child would be 17101 years
old London Answers
A Matter of Smokestacks
The smokestacks on ocean vessels of
years have been made to slope
backward more particularly to give the
steamer a rakish air the masts also
being given the same slope As to the
effect on the draft there is a slight
one as the wind pressure on the front
of the stack sloping up and over the
top of the stack is more apt to draw
the smoke out than to cut it off but
from all we are aware of this seems
lo have been held of secondary con
sideration The shape of the smoke
stacks also is changing from round to
oval so as to present less surface at
the front If you compare the steam
ers with the sloping and straight
smokestacks in one case the former
while motionless still appears to have
life while the rigidity of the other
ives it an appearance of stiffness
even while under considerable speed
St Nicholas
The Hunter and the Wind
In bunting against the wind in open
forests more game is passed than
many hunters would suppose The an
imals see the man note that he will
pass them and hide by getting as uear
to the ground as possible If they
scent him alter he has passed they
evidently realize that the danger is
over 1 hough some mostly the younger
LuexperieiiM d animals then sneak off
Where game is very wild it is often in
such localities as 1 have mentioned
only posibe to approach them with
lie wh i i ciinli taiicing the latter
ig game anhnai at rest de
pen - ii it tu to save it trom dan
ger in 1 ne direct inn trom the
wind comes and on Us eyes to watch
the side trom w ln h it can get tm oth
er warning k ami I racking by
Joset Bruniier
Welsh NEticnl Ccstume
When the I rem i made a Halt bean
ed attempt i utaie Great Britain in
1757 a landing v - made at ishgnaic
Wales bin the it Xapoieoti
were frightened ofl iy the sight ot a
great tnimbei ot Welsh gins aud wo
tpn whom tie mc ou at a distance
for soldiers on account t their reu
dresses and tall black hats That is
still the national i iuuie of the Welsh
women
Crushed
Air Timid 1 hearing noise at 1 a tni
I th think dear that there is a
m tuan in the house His Wife scorn
Ulyi Not iu this rootnBoston Tran
script
Heaven -and earth fight In vain
aguinst a dunce Schiller
8Stoi
iWiii - -
V
H C CLAPP
DRY GOODS MILLINERY LADIES FURNISHINGS
BLANKETS
COMFORTS
OUTINGS
SILKS
TRIMMINGS
H
Special Clearance Pricey
Throughout
the Month of January
You will find our store teeming with bargains in every depart
ment during the following two weeks in January and for any
thing you may want in
DRESS GOODS UNDERWEAR
KNIT SHAWLS
KIMONAS
and everything in Winter Merchandise You can buy at our
store for from 20 to 30 percent less than the regular prices
ALL COATS SUITS AND DRESSES will be sold during
the following two weeks at REDUCTIONS UNEQUALLED
ELSEWHERE
ALL FURS ONE FIFTH OFF while thoy last and we
invite you to call often aud learn our pi ices before you buy
Every
Trimmed Hat
in Stock
except ostrich plumes
We Offer at
Just Half Price
Many 4 5 and 6 d d g
Hats still going at loDJ
Tomorrow afternoon January 14th
the W C T U will meet with Mra C
H McBride The topic will be Mercy
and Relief with Mrs Wimer as leader
We have a ground black pepper that
beats any you have ever tasted for
strength and fine flavor It will be a
mistake not to use t when you butcher
W McConnell Druggist
Can Save You Money
We can save you soma money and a
little time if you will order your news
papers and magazines through us for
the coming year Bring in your lists
and let us quote you figures Just a
few weeks to New Year Do it now
Drink Wedding Breakfast colTau
and be happy At tlubers only
ESTIMATE OF EXPENSES
In the matter of the necesary expousns ilur
inR the year on motion the ostium to for tlin
year 1910 was fixed at the meeting of ihc Comity
Board held January 11 1910 us follows
County General Fund R UM tt
County Bridso Fund 13 UU 00
County Road Fund 7 WO tXI
County Soldiers Relief Fund 1 UO ui
Bartley Village Bond UO IO
McCook City Bond Court Houho
Bond 1 MX 00
McCook City Sewer Bond I M O 0
McCook City Water Bonds V iXO O
Willow Grove Precinct Bond JJ U It
School District Bonds Vi lkl Ut
Dated this 12th day of Jnmmry UM0
CHAS SKAlLA
1-13-1 County Clnrk
A
Our stock must be reduced to make room for New Spring
Goods Call and secure some of the many bargains
HC CLAPP
EXCLUSIVE DRY GOODS MILLINERY LADIES FURNISHINGS
Phone 56
222 flain avenue
MINOR ITEMS OF NEWS
McConnell for drugs
McConnell fills prescriptions
A McMillen prescription druggist
Mary Harrison nurse Phone black 286
Remember the sale of millinery at 114
east B street
McMillans Corn Cure nepda only a
trial to satisfy you of its merits
Got our prices on canned goods before
buying Magner giocery and meat mar
ket
Millinery et practically your own
price at 114 east B street rear of De
Groffs
If once used you would not be with
out McMillans Cream Lotion for face
and bands
One Minute and Motor washers make
washing easy Get them at the McCook
Hardware Co
The Bullard Lumher Co haH bought
the Stanaberry Lumber Co s coal inter
ests at this place
Farm Loans a specialty Room 3 over
McConnells drug store -
L E Babger
Velie buggies and harness now ready
the line with a reputation
McCook Hardware Co
flcCook
TREASURERS STATEMENT
Summary of Collections Disbursements and
Balances on hand for six months ending Janu
ary 5th 1910 C NAD EN County Trensuror
COLLECTIONS
Balance on hand Juuc 3th I9U9 55 150 30
To 18bU tax collected 5 2 78
lb90 tax collected 4X1
1691 tax collected 2 54
1893 tax collected Xi 18
1691 tax collected 11 IS V
lb9o tax collected 79
IbUrt tax collected GC
1897 tax collected 13 11 i
lbdi tax collected 49 25
1899 tax collected 24 43
1U1 tax collected 48 88
1WI1 tax collected 22 20
1902 tax collected 35 75
1903 tax collected 15 81
1091 tax collected 19 54 j
1905 tax collected 62 81 I
1900 tax collected 76 98
1907 tax collected 4S6 07 I
1908 tax collected 24 318 03
1999 tax collected 60 310 29
f 83 568 59
Sewer tax McCook city 78 90
School laud interest 1567 40
School land lease 2 C43 86
December state apportionment sato
treasurer 24C0 39
Miscellaneous collections ojuuty
general fund 827 68
Miscellaneous collections
sioner districtNo 3 20 75
Miscellaneous collections county
bridso fund 63 00
y
Fines and license 1C540 00
Bank interest county deposits 60o 00
Redemptions 1 31735 63
Fees 117250
Total 155292 00
DISBURSEMENTS
By State treasurers receipt No 62250 16 423 00
County Keueral warrants redeemed 15 574 07
County bridge warrants redeemed 9 337 99
County road warrants redeemed 1 577 23
I Precinct and city bond and coupon 300 21
I School bonds and coupons 2 458 37
School district treasurer orders 28 091 76
tree high school fund orders 2ti9 25
Road district overseers orders 4 051 71
Poll tax receipts 18 U
Refund poll tax 1150
City treasurers receipts McCook
city rt 205 70
City treasurers receipt ludimiolii
city UXHW
Village treasurers receipt ISnrttoy 163 10
Village treasurers receipt Lolxunm ItU 72
Village treasurers receipt Daubury Ml lo
Redemptions 3 tl U
County treasurers fees ITS Ml
County treasurers coininitwioni S tftt ll
Total JWt V TH la
n a lam us
State funds
State general fund J 0t
State school fund i
State universiij fund 1 Hin iw
Hospital for tiisiiun v
Redemption att iO
Principal on scIkhiI lutul it
Interest on fluHit luiid 1 Ul H
Lease on school hunt i m
Count funds
County gonoral fund overdrawn t
County brhlco fund ottmlruwH V
County road fund Ml i
Soldiers rtdlnf fund MA
City bond fund 1 tti a
Product iioud fund S RH U
School bond fund lipi
Sohool dUtriol fund U MM A
Films tout llemin fund tft w
Nvtr Umd fund KU i
Sowor tnx froutauti haul W A
Itoud dUtriot fund S JA Si
Froo IiIkIi miIkm fund 40I
lttiduiuptlon fund wi
hdiiritnuoM ins huut U a
IUy of MolNmL 48 U
City ot Ituliundu 9H i
Vjl Ho of fWlWij Ut V
illUH of ltdmium K K
ViIIuko of DuuUun U it
IttdunM on Uiuvd JHtUi
Our prtuoriittUm tirrtn kt VKo
approval of your itHatauw ami fctmM
ha mtmuitt vhnVHT XOH feT
ttriittnu or rit to m vwwXWfcv
V
7
X
