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THE TRIBUN
RAILWAY CABMEN
Stationery Department
nassaaasaBSKaBsnBBSiraanBnisnnffinBn
The Tribune
It is Just One Dollar the Year
CITY LODGE DIRECTORY
A F A M
McCook Lodge No 135 A F A M meets
every flr3t and third Tuesday of tbe month at
8 KK p m in Masonic hall
Lok Cone V M
Chaeles Li Fahnestock Sec
B 8 M
Occcnoxee Council No 16 R S M meets on
last Saturday of each month at 800 p m
ii Masonic hall
Ralph A Hagberq T I M
Btlybster Cobdeal Sec
B AM
Kinc Cyrns Chapter No 35 R A M meets
every first and third Thursday of each mouth at
800 pm in Masonic hall
Clabence B Gray H P
W B Whittakee Sec
KNIGHTS TEMPLAB
St John Commaudery No 16 K T meets on
tha second Thursday of each month at 800 p
m in Masonic hall
David Magneb E C
Henby E Cdlbeetson Rec
EASTERN STAB
Enreka Chapter No 86 O E S meets the
second and fourth Fridays of each month at
800 p m in Masonic hall
Mrs C W Wilson W M
S Cobdeal Sec
MODERN WOODMEN
Noble Camp No 663 M W A meets every
second and fourth Thursday of each month at
830 p m in Morris hall Pay assessments
at White House Grocery
Julius Kunbet Consul
J M Smith Clerk
ROYAL NEIGHBORS
No le Camp No 862 B N A meets every
second and fourth Thursday of each month at
230 p m in Morris hall
Mrs Caroline Kunert Oracle
Mb8 Augusta Anton Rec
w o w
Meets second and fourth Thursdays at 8
oclock in Diamonds hall
Chas F Mabkwad C C
W C Moyeb Clerk
workmen
McCook Lodge No 61 AOUW meets every
Monday at 800 p in in Monte Cristo hall
MAUBICEGBIFFINReC MS JenningsMW
JMWENTZFinancier RoxZiNTForoman
degree of honor
McCook Lodge No 3 D of H meets every
second and forth Tuesdays of each month at
800 p m in Monte Cristo hall
Mrs Bella McClain C of H
Mrs Carrie Schlagel Rec
LOCOMOTIVE ENGINEERS
McCook Division No 623 B of L E meets
overy second and fourth Snnday of each
month at 230 in Morris hall
Walter Stokes C E
W D Burnett F A E
LOCOMOTIVE FIREMEN AND ENGINEMEN
McCook Lodge No 599 B of L F E
meets on the first and third Saturdays of each
month in Morris hall
I D Pennington Pres
C H Husted Sec
RAILWAY CONDUCTORS
Harvey Division No 95 O R C meets the
second and fourth Wednesday nights of each
month at 800 p m in Morris hall at 304
Main Avenue S E Callen C Con
M O McClure Sec
RAILWAY TBAINMEN
C W Bronson Lodge No 4S7 B of R T
meets flrt and third Sundays at 230 p m and
second and fourth Fridays at 7 j30 m each
month in Morris hall C WT Cobey M
B J Moore Sec
Young America Lodge No 456 B B C of A
meets on the first and third Tuesdays of oach
month in Morris hall a5730 p m
W C SlEPHENS C C
N V Franklin Rec Sec
machinists
Red Willow Lodgo No 587 I A of M meota
svery second and fourth Tuesday of the month
at 800 p m in Morris hall
Theo Diebald Pro
Feed Wasson Fin Sec
Floyd Beery Cor Sec
BOILERMAKERS
McCook Lodge No 407 B of B M I S B of
A meets first and third Friduys of each month
tn Odd Follows hall
KNIGHTS OF PYTniAS
McCook Lodge No 42 K of P meets every
Wednesday at 800 p m in Masonic hall
H W Conoveb C C
D N Cobb K R S
ODD FELLOWS
McCook Lodge No 137 1 0 0 F meets every
Monday at 8 00 p m in Morris hall
F A Denton N G
W A Middleton Sec
EAGLES
McCook Aerie No 1514 F O E meets every
Friday evening at 8 oclock in Kelloy building
316 Main ave
C L Walker W Pros
C H Ricketts W Sec
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF LETTER CABBIKB3
Branch No 1278 meets first Mono ay of each
month at 330 p m in carriers- room postofijco
G F Kinghobn President
D J OBbien Secretary
KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS
McCook Council No 1126 K of C meets the
first and third Tuesdays of each month at 80
p m in Diamonds hall
G R Gale F Sec Fbank Real G K
DAUGHTEBS OF ISABELLA
Court Granada No 77 meets on the second
and fourth Thursdays of each month at 8 p in
in Monte Cristo hall Anna Hannan G B
Nellie Ryan F S
LADY MACCABEES
Valley Queen Hive No 2 L O T M meets
every first and third Thursday evenings of each
month in Morris hall
Mbs W B Mills Commandor
Harriet E Willetts R K
G A R
J K Barnes Post No 207 G A R meete on
the first Saturday of each mouth at 230 pm
Morris hall
Wji Long Commander
Jacob Steinmetz Adjt
RELIEF CORPS
McCook Corps No 93 W R C meets every
aorrnri oMrl fmirtli Sntnnlnv of each month at
230 p m in Ganschow hall
ADELLA aiCOLAin jthjs
Susie Vandebhoof Sec
L OF G A R
McCook Circle No 33 L of G A R meets on
the first and third Fridays of each month at
230 p m in Morris hall
Maey Walker Pres
Ellen LeHew Sec
p e o
Chapter X P E O meets the second and
fourth Saturdays of each montn at 2S0 p m
at the homes of the various members
Mrs J A Wilcox Pres
Mrs J G Schobel Cor Sec
PYTniAN SISTERS
McCook Templo No 24 Pythian Sisters meets
the 2d and 4th Wednesdays at 730 p m
M J Cobdeal M E C
Edna Stewart M of R C
GlaVf sinw iron t
TIn iiHiiiniit MiMiit u tin h M irk
Tutllll IMITI It - Wtllltl
t Ills iiiiml iiisuiit In Hi nri
lliilils n ili JMiiuJiiiry llnTi was IP
tactful triiinl In rniihi innlO iln iin
niorisi forget lis iruiiu IM was
Iin Heard he si 11 i i li illiisintlid
MiiiM uf Twain-
Hun Icird llnTi t mi tunic that
can equal the hiiiii uf a cliccrttil
man said tin- liuumrio as lie entered
the artists Mudm
All lull I have urh u pleasant ub
ject to win iipmr that I am nut in
need of either man or tunic fur my
cheerfulness rctirit the nrlit
Heg pardun it is I that need the
tonic and that is why 1 am here
i said Twain forhirnh
Then allow me in prescrihe a disc
of your own medicine Ami Marie
was handed a copy of hi honk which
Heard had heeu studying
1 thank you replied the humorist
It took Hit a year to get that medi
cine out of my system and I do not
propose to imbibe it again
A discussion of the hook was fol
lowed by a hearty dinner and Twain
left his friend having received the
cheer that he needed
The Alligators Tongue
On out occasion wtien traveling
along the west coast of Africa with an
old skipper who had known many
missionaries but did fiot see the use
of them Hislmp Taylor Sinijh was
obliged to endure a string of taunting
questions such as What was the
good of spouting at ICxeter hall and
What did missionaries know any
way
At last the bishop could stand it no
longer Turning to the skipper in
said I know you are an expert an
you tell me the length of an alligators
tongueV
Certainly was the reply but it
depends on the length of the alligator
Very well then given an alligator
fifteen feet long what would be the
length of its tongueV
Three feet was the answer
But the bishop who had kept alli
gators and watched their ways knew
better It is evident that you are an
authority on the west coast of Africa
he said but it is also evident that
some people see more in ten minutes
than others in twenty years Let me
tell you that an alligator has no
tongue
Declined the Job
A writer of cheap fiction relates a
trick played on him by a collaborator
in the days when dime novels were
longer than they are now and the
compensation made it worth while for
two men to write one story between
them After his partner had finished
the first chapter of their initial col
laboration it was banded over with
tbe following announcement
There Ive just thrown the hero
over a thousand foot cliff and told the
reader that nothing could prevent the
lad from falling to death on the rocks
below It is up to you to save the
boy
The other writer said nothing but
sat down and wrote furiously for an
hour Then he quietly handed the
manuscript back A glance at the
second chapter showed the funny man
that his friend had completely ignored
tbe events in tbe first part of the
story introduced a new set of char
acters and left the hero still hanging
over the cliff waiting to be rescued
bv his creator New York Sun
Poetry Didnt Save Them
A New York prisoner ace used ot
drunkenness who pleaded his case in
rhyme before a magistrate got a sen
tence of six months on the island
for as the judge remarked his jag
was bad enough but his poetry was
worse Over in Loudon a plain drunk
put forth this
Ive been drinking- wine that is drawn
from the wood
No bottle rubbish but sparkling and
good
But it got in my head so my frienas alt
explain
That the wine has gone back to the wood
once again
The effusiou and the celebration cost
him 10 shillings New York Tribune
College Sentiment
Br Blank about twenty years a
professor in a certain college was on
the eve of a trip to Europe to be ab
sent two years In pathetic and rath
er harrowing toues he made bis fare
well address to his class
Yes 1 am about to part with you
This is more than distressing to me
Would that there was a window in my
breast my dear boys that you might
see the innermost recesses of my
heart
A stripling in the rear seized with
a happy thought shouted
Professor would a pane in the
stomach do Lippincotts
Unusual Luck
So youve rented that haunted
bouse which was on your bauds so
long
Yes rented it to an actor
Did he find out its reputation V
Thats the very thing which de
cided him to take the house
Rather surprising
He said it would be such a comfort
for him to get iaside of a house where
the ghost walked every night Balti
more American
Mrs Malaprop
You mustnt think you ought to run
around barefooted Johnny said Mrs
Lapsling chidingly just because Bob
by Stapleford does Hes no centurion
to go by Cassells Journal
Engagement Broken
Merchant -I have had hard luck
lost all my money Suitor Surely you
would not wish to lose your daughter
nlso Fliegende Blatter
Seven Rules o Lifa
ii n ars if mhi ilh to be In
t it t tt i I p how iniin lights
Ot lx one tiylii of seven steps I will
tie crilie I hem
Ilrsi Step ri wheat oats corn
friiis heel minion plainly cooked iu
Hi ilerat quantity ami hut two uicnh
a day
ei oiid Step - Ureal lie cood air day
a il uighi
Third Step- Kcerclse freely In Mm
oj ii air
Fourth Step early and rs
early
Fifth Step -Wear Manuel net yoir
si in every day ot tte year nl so
your dress that your limits y
be kept warm Bathe frequently
Sixth Step -Live iu the
Let your bedroom lie one which re
ceives i ilued of ligtii ami yoti
days either out in Hie sunlight or t
room which is well lighted
Seventh Step -Cultivate a cheertin
temper Seek the society of jolly pei
pie Absolutely refuse to worry an I
above all dont he afraid in laugh
Live above Sickness canrot crawi n
there Disease prowls a limit in tie
basement Barely does it gel upstairs
Dr 1 C Butler in Chicago Journal
The Shade He Wanted
Delacroix the painter was walking
out one day iu Bans with a tnenu l
his when he tell into a brown study
What is up with you now said
the friend
1 cant get a certain shade ot yel
low replied the artist
What sort ot yellow
Just then a cab drove past
The very thing the painter gasped
out Stop stop
I am engaged the cabby replied
without stopping
Delacroix started iu pursuit and at a
steep place in the But des Martyrs
overtook the cab Opening the door
he stiid iu tones ot entreaty to the pas
senger inside
Do please tell your driver to sto
I want your complexion lor a painting
on which 1 am tit work There is a
color merchant close at hand I shall
not detain you above live minutes and
iu acknowledgment of the service you
render me I will present you with a
sketch of my picture
Tlie bargain was struck Delacroix
got his yellow and a tew months later
the fare received a sketch of Ins
Assassination ot the Archbishop ot
Liege
Truth In Jest
According to historical tradition the
conquest of Finland was foretold in
jest that soon became earnest hy its
conqueror Peter the Great to his jest
er Balakireff
Balakireff had vexed the czar by too
impudent a joke and had been summa
rily banished with the menacing in
junction never to appear on Russian
soil again Ue disappeared discreetly
but one day not long after Peter glanc
ing out of a window saw his unmis
takable figure and quizzical counte
nance jogging comfortably by perch
ed in a country cart Impulsively he
ran down to him and demanded to
know why he had disobeyed
I havent disobeyed you was the
answer I am not on Bussiau soil
now
Not ou Russian soil
No This cart load of earth that
Im sitting on is Swedish soil 1 dug it
in Finland only the other day
Peter laughed but he said It Fin
land be Swedish soil now it shall be
Russian soil before long And be
made good his words
His Examination Concluded
In the evidence before a parliamen
tary committee concerning tbe
tion to a railway Hodge scored a point
which accentuates a certain legal lie-
tion with reference to skilled wit
nesses
A Scotch farmer was giving his tes
timony in favor of the bill
Is it true said the wily K C in
his most searching style that you
sir said to Mr Guild that you were
willing to give your evidence on the
other side if they would pay you bet
ter
Aye said the pawky farmer and
after a pause let me jist pit the
same questiou to ye if ye had been
offered a bigger fee wad ye no hae
been on tbither side yersel
It is needless to say that the K C
3id uot cross question tbe witness fur
ther Pearsons Weekly
Pipes Frozen by Warm Spells
It is a curious fact that water pipes
under ground will often freeze duriug
the warm spell that follows a cold j
snap The explanation made for this
interesting phenomenon is that after a i
cold wave a large quantity of heat is
takeu from the grouud iu the work of
changing the frozen moisture into wa
ter and thus on the principle of the
ice cream freezer the pipe is chilled
enough heat being taken from it to
freeze it
Cause For Thanks
Alas sighed the tramp dramatical
ly No matter where 1 turns theres
a hand raised against me
Which shows you ought to be
thankful fer oue thing said the
farmer
Whats that
That it aint a foot thats raised
Self Possessed
Mrs Manykids There is one thing
about our girls- they are always self
possessed Papa Manykids grimlyi
Yes theyre too self possessed 1 wish
theyd get some one else to possess
them
Liszts Advice
Being asked one day what one should
do in order to become an efficient piano
player Liszt replied laconically One
must eat well and walk much
CaiVta
Tw brothers were once at Count
vn MottUes bouse at an eveinu
parly ltl were captains of the ucn
eral stall The general came up to a
group nf esittemen one nf whom wt
one of the brothers After Jnlnin in
the ci versat iui he said to ihe latter
Musf tell me who i that all ilicci
near ihe lireplace the other sdo I
forget his iiiiiie
Tlmfs my brother your cxi el
leney was the answer
A stealing over the enenr
face suggested the Idea that lie had
tin Hbtuincd the information he wNh
cil Some time after the general wen
lo another group of people and then
joined the otlicer whose it line lie li ii
inquired Suddenly the others saw bin
turning away with the same smile on
his face
Afterward when they inquired fnm
the routm Hirer what the general Inn
asked him he replied
Tie asked me who that otlicer wa
over there
And wiiat did you say
1 said that he was my brother
Tbe general gave up inquiring tin
name of the two brothers for thai
evening
Wanted It to Take
Mrs B believed in infant baptism
but for some reason that rite was not
performed for Tommy till hewassoim
four or five years old While the cere
mony was iu progress the mother wa
very mncb gratified with Tommys tie
bavior lie seemed duly Impressed
with the solemnity of the occasion
and remained with bowed head foi
some time after the sprinkling had
been done
The angel exclaimed the mother
The little dear said a good sister
as she went up to give him a God
bless you and a pat on the head But
just as her band was descending with
that benediction a very wrathful aid
unangeHc countenance was turned
upon her a pugilistic little fist deliv
ered a paralyzing blow on her biceps
and the indignant Tommy exclaimed
You git away from here
Of course lie was fed out in disgrace
and questioned by his horrified mother
Why dont you know she would a
rubbed ail the baptizing water off be
fore it would a had time to soak in
explained Tommy who from his point
of view was fully justified Los An
geles Times
Buffoonery In Hamlet
The buffoonery once tolerated iu pro
vincial theaters is illustrated m au an
ecdote set forth in the memoirs ot Bar
ry Sullivan Wright who was the first
gravedigger prepared bimselt to take
tbe house by storm by having incased
his person within a dozen or more
waistcoats of all sorts of shapes and
patterns When about to commence
the operation of digging the grave tor
the fair Ophelia Wright began to un
wind by taking off waistcoat after
waistcoat which caused uproarious
laughter among tbe audience But as
fast as he relieved himself ot out
waistcoat Paul Bedford the second
gravedigger incased himself in the
castoff vests which increased the sal
vos of laughter for as Wright was
getting thinner Paul grew fatter aud
falter Wright seeing himself out
done kept ou the remainder of the
waistcoats and went on with his part
quite crestfallen
An Awkward Selection
The first Karon Keuyon was rather
fond of telling the story ot how while
on circuit with Justice Book they en
tered a village just iu time to accom
pany tbe population to the little vil
lage church The parish clerk anxious
to have the congregation show due ap
preciation nf the honor conferred by
the presence of the distinguished ju
rists gave out two verses ot one of
the metrical psalms Speak O ye
judges of the earth it just your sen
tence be or must uot innocence ap
peal to beaveu from your decree Your
wicked hearts and judgments are alike
by malice swayed your gripiug hands
by mighty bribes to violeuce betrayed
By this time most or the adults had
woke up to the application of the
psalm and remained silent allowing
tbe children to continue tbe second
verse Loudon Tatler
A Soft Answer
Jewel Arrah Jimmy why did I
marry yeV Just tell me that for its
meself thats had to maintain ye ever
since the blessed day that i became
your wife
Swate jewel replied Jimmy uot
relishing the charge and its meself
that hopes 1 may live to see the day
v hen youre a widow weeping over
the cold sod that covers me Then Ill
see how youll get along without me
honey London Tit Bits
Needed Repairs
Does your typewriter need repairs
asked tbe meandering tinker as he en
tered tbe ofiice
It would seem so replied the em
ployer She has just gone across the
street to consult a dentist
More Modern
Tommy you have written this sen
tence The pen is mightier as the
sword and it is incorrect How
should it be changed
Pen ought to be changed to type
writer maam Chicago Tribune
Hed Had Experience
Her readingt And so they were
married and that was the last of their
trouble Dim sotto vocei Last but
not least Cleveland Leader
Not That Kind
Tim Would you scream If I kissed
rou Tessie I suppose you flatter
yourself that Id be speechless with
Joy Mobile Register
KCal LMa It
Tbe filoAinn it it iiut Id
en lllnilc in the iuii tile
luHt roport
I Ii Luiitfr n fc t A O on to
v a tiiniliiii A Willi m U iU
l in qr hi tf M
7810 CM
NI ItV L fi KVIIIMIl t I In i l I
I ii wd to ww jr fl 2i 101
HhjimI Ii Lnwtniin t Nfnny
I Lnt until qud in
abovo
LI underhoif et i
Mnrsh qcd to pi 11 in West
McCook J fiX
Li coin Ltimi o loFniitMiti ii
Richard vvd to r
7th McCook COtiJf
Daniel J Richtiun tof i K
witrd E Smith rd to w lif ha
qr 20 sti qr 7 4 27 1CCG QQ
McCook Cemutit -to o to
Percy M Hell m lien I in
8 McCook mm
Lincoln Land C t M onic
Temple Crnftof McCook d
to 1 in IU McCook latHhW
Carl fi Berry et til to Amintdii
L Berry qcd to I in IS 1st
McCook it
Can Save You Money
We can stive ou some money and
little timo if you will order your nerr
papers and magazines through us Tee
the coming year Bring in your lista
and let us junto you figures Just
few weeks to New Year Do it now
Drink Wuddiim Breakfast cnffc
and in- hapm At Ilisheia only
t iiinliNG GRAINIKS
PAPER HANGIKG
SIGN IAHTIKG
CALSUMIMNG ETC
Paper hanging- at 10c a roll
All Aork KuaranietA
W F PURDY
409 B Street East
Middleton Ruby
PLUMBING and
STEAM PITTING
All work guaranteed
Phone 182 McCook Nebraeka
r E Whitney
i
Walter Hoskr
WHITNEY HOSIER
Draymen
Prompt Services Courteous
Treatment Reasonable Pricee
GIVE USA TRIAL
Ofiice First Door
cPiith nf DeGroffs
Phones I3ar
Black 244
TS3SXB
D BURGESS
Plumber and
Steam Fitter
Iron Lead and Sewer Pipe Bra3s
Goods Pumps an Boiler Trimmings
Estimates Furnished Free Base- p
wf nx or th Posoftr Budding
McCOOK NEBRASKA
A G BUMP
Real Estate
and Insurance
Room Two over McConnelPs drug
store McCook Nebraska
CHBoyle
HHffAMIf FB8
C EEldecc
BOYLE ELDRED
Attorneys at Utc
Long Diatance Pone 44
aooniB 1 and 7 second Uoor
Pne toffice Building
McCoofc Kt
JOHN E KELLEY
ATT0ENEY AT LAW and
BONDED ABSTRACTS
McCook Nebraska
J3i Agent of Lincoln Land Co and of McCoai
V titer Works Office in Postottico building
HrrB sr
ENGRAVER and ELECTROTYPES
j Fr OIE 1114 1420 24 LAWRIKCt OEKVEJ COLO
ff5S
dp3myepmsnzzxrFn
I 13 pj ta arf Kin a I tn mi f
for children safe sure No oplatem
