An Alter Dinner Talk
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And tne Turkey
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BUTCOLLT DATTURKHE DONE KETCH27
e CHRISTMAS PIES
A Novel Sport For a Childrens Party
In Holiday Time
Have a large pan covered with brown
tissue paper to look like pie crust In
side the pie have these letters to
which are attached ribbons the other
end of which come through the pie
crust The letters neatly cut out are
Six as two iiis three es four rs
three ys one c two hs two ss one
t two ns one d two ps one w and
one L
The children sit around the pie each
holding one thread They sing
Sing a sons of Christmas
A pie crust full of fun
Find the wish we wish you
When the game is done
Then they pull the letters out and
pin them on their breasts Then be-
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THE CniJISTMAS PIE
gins the fun of puzzling out how the
children should stand in a line so that
the letters will form a sentence
When in proper position the letters
will make
A MERRY CHRIST MAS AXD A
HAPPY NEW YEAR
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SA DICKAS HE COT INTOBED
ISUBELT HAVEGCTABKLHEAD
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SCHWALMER BOYS AND GIRLS
Their Quaint Costumes and Their Odd
Christmas Dance
Over in Hesse Nassau a district In
Germany there is a section of the
Hessian people who present an inter
esting study particularly in regard to
their quaint Christmas customs
These people live in the valley of
the river Schwalm The Schwalmer
boys wear a peculiar round hat or cap
without brim or visor It resembles in
shape a small cheese box They wear
a sort of coat with skirt reaching be-
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SCHWALMER BOY AND GIRL
low the knees something on the order
of the highlanders kilt and white
socks with black bows
The Schwalmer girls also wear white
stockings with the black bows Their
skirts reach scarcely below the knees
It is the fashion to wear several stiff
skirts which stand out from the per
son much in the manner of the hoop
skirts of our own grandmothers On
their heads the girls wear a funny
little pill box sort of hat to which are
attached broad bands tied under the
chin completely concealing the ears
The boys and girls have an outdoor
dance at Christmas when the weather
favors Each village has a favorite danc
ing ground where the young people gath
er for the fun The boys stand in a semi
circle while the girls line up to await
their partners Everybody maintains
a dignilied silence Finally one boy
steps forward to the maiden of his
choice lifts his arm and bows pro
foundly Each of the boys in his turn
then goes through the same ceremony
of choosing his partner who is his for
the day Then begins the dance
which is vigorous and hearty
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Tbe peach stopple plum and pear
Are nice s uXcarj be
Bur just give me fte frail fetrs
Qptbeggd dd CbnVroastteet
Milk Fed Edible Rats
The Chinese diplomat regarded his
grilled frogs legs with faint disgust
I suppose they are good he fal
tered It Is hard though to conquer
my repulsion Yet they are clean
clean feeders eh
The American laughed long and
loud
You he cried are repelled by
frogs legs you who eat dogs and
rats
Ah but said the Chinaman our
edible dogs and rats are the cleanest
feeders Imaginable They are equal to
celery fed duck or California peach
fed hog They are conflued in runs
you know and to make their flesh
white and delicate they are fed on
mushes of bread and milk and vege
tablesno meat whatever
You Americans think it disgusting
to eat rats and dogs because you imag
ine them fattening on carrion and
offal But these frogs here No Im
afraid I cant They may have fed on
some tramp suicide for all 1 know
He pushed back his plate and waited
for the next course
The Elusive Chuckwalla
The chuckwalla Is one of the most
interesting of the creatures to be
found in southern Californias great
desert The chuckwalla seeks to es
cape his adversary by crawling Into a
crevice of a rock so narrow that it
seems impossible to get him out But
the Indians have learned all his tricks
and how to circumvent them To the
I desert aborigine the chuckwalla is al
luring He feasts on the chuckwalla
hence he grows wise as to Its habits
He takes a piece of strong wire or a
bent twig and poking it into the crev
ice he taps the chuckwalla on the end
of the nose In a moment the angered
reptile exhales a kind of hiss the
noise being made by a rapid expulsion
of the breath As he thus exhales he
loses his hold on the rocks and In a
moment the Indian pulls on his tail
4s speedily as a flash of lightning the
chuckwalla inhales again and tightens
himself in his recess Another tap on
his nose and then exhalation another
pull another exhalation so it goes un
til at last the Indian has him In hand
Then he cooks him Suburban Life
Depth at Which Miners Can Work
Below fifty feet the temperature
rises in the proportion of one degree
for every sixty five feet of depth ex
cept where currents of water carry
the heat away The result is that at a
depth of about 4000 feet we reach a
temperature of 98 degrees or blood
heat This renders it exceedingly dif
ficult to work coal pits below that
depth This is the reason that Great
Britains coal commission decided that
mines are not workable below 4000
feet
The thickness of the solid rocks
building up the crust of the earth is at
least thirty to forty miles At that
depth the heat is such as would reduce
everything on the surface of the earth
to liquid But the pressure of the over
lying rocks is so great that until the
relation of the heat to the pressure is
known it cannot be said whether the
earth at that depth is fluid or solid
Chicago Tribune
Not Lost In London
The confession of the provost or the
Great St Bernard hospice that he al
most got lost in London and found it
more bewildering than his own Alps
recalls to the London Chronicle a re
markable feat of the great guide Mel
chior Anderegg of Meiringen He had
never seen a larger town than Berne
when he visited London and when
two famous climbers Leslie Stephen
and T W Hinchliff met him at Lon
don Bridge station and walked with
him thence to Lincolns Inn Fields
there was a thick London fog Never
theless when a day or two later the
three were at the same station return
ing from a trip to Woolwich Mr
Hinchliff confidently said Now Mel
chior you will lead us back home
And straight to Lincolns Inn Fields
Melchior cuided them pausing only
once
Why Joyner Left Home
Are you ready to receive the obliga
tions V asked the most upright su
preme hocus pocus of the Order of
Hoot Owls
I am said the candidate firmly
Then take a sip of this prussic acid
place your right hand in this pot of
boiling lead rest your left hand upon
this revolving buzzsaw close your eyes
and repeat after me
Early next morning shreds of Joy
ners clothing were found upon the
bushes and trees all along the road to
Pottsville thirty miles distant and at
Scrabbletown sixty miles away he
was reported still headed west Judge
Knew the Symptoms
The Minister John John I am sur
prised to see you What good does it
tdo you getting muddled like this put
ting you off your work When you go
to bed you cannot sleep your tongue
is parched your head is like to split
and you have no appetite John Gie
us yer hand sir yeve been drunk
yerself Philadelphia Inquirer
A Useful Key
What is this peculiar key on your
typewriter I never saw it on any be- I
fore
Hist My own invention When
ever you cant spell a word you press
this key and it makes a blur Boston
Transcript
Changed
-Nell Maud couldnt have thought
much of that fellow she married
Belle Why Nell She boasts that she
has made another man of him Phila
delphia Record
Everybody stumbles but no man
need He in the mud Gentleman
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Pangwangliag
A little dubious as to Ihe exact
shade of significance but certainly al
luring to the ear is pangwangle It
expresses well what does It express
a checrluess under minor discom
forts a humorous optimism under
small misfortunes though indeed these
seem dignified definitions for so in
formal a word I just pangwaugled
home In the rain saj s a friend of
mine and I know he got there drench
ed but good tempered We went
pangwangllng off to the theater last
flight says my nearest neighbor and
I feel pretty certain they had been blue
over something and felt the need of
some small gayety It would do us all
good if we pangwangled a bit more I
think
A very meaning word is the south
erners honing My honey Ive just
been honing to see you It is not so
stilted as Ive been longing and It
is much more emphatic thai Ive been
wanting Its a warm affectionate
intimate word honing Let me put it
into the addendum well toward the
front for I love the sound of it
These words are not slang They are
not exactly as one high brow friend
informed me low colloquialisms
They have a place in language and
they add considerably to its color
Atlantic
An Outside Vegetarian
If you are not an outside vegeta
rian you are not really a vegetarian at
all The speaker -was a member of
Philadelphias little vegetarian church
uptown An odd figure in his gray
health shirt gray ventilated suit gray
knit gloves gray aerated hat gray
cloth boots he continued An inside
vegetarian is one who puts in his inte
rior nothing that has been procured by
the slaughter of animals An outside
vegetarian puts on his exterior noth
ing that has been procured by the
slaughter of animals
See my gloves vegetable gloves of
cotton riot made of the skins of mur
dered kids See mj boots woven
owing nothing to some poor murdered
calf See my buttons wooden not
made of grisly bones Inside and out
side so the quaint faddist concluded
I am a vegetarian and inside and
outside I get along without the murder
of any creature fish flesh or fowl
There are many like me New York
Press
Slipper Allum Tea
The sidewalk stand a soap box was
littered with rolls of brown bark to
bacco twists and withered switches
tied with twine The proprietor a
brown and shriveled old colored wo
man sat on another box A passing
woman lingered to ask the old aunty
the meaning of her wares
Dese tbacca twisses is for moffs
an de red oak bark is good for cuts
an de slipper allum chips is a cure
for ole maids
You ought to make a fortune out of
that aunty How does it work
Huh huh chile das as easy as a
possum climin a tree You see ole
maid ladies is most in ginral lean an
lonesome lookin an slipper allum tea
makes em fat When dey gets fat
dey gets chipperish an some genmuu
gwine come along an take a miration
to em unless dey takes to drinkiu de
tea too late huh huh New York
Post
Who Said Gunpowder
I dont want you to get scared at
this story began the baldheaded man
but I hope youve all got good
nerves
The listeners eagerly drew together
Well began the narrator people
lose their lives sometimes in the stran
gest ways I know an Irishman poor
fellow who a few months ago sat
down on what he supposed was a keg
of black sand to have a smoke After
finishing the first pipe he knocked the
live ashes into the keg There hap
pened to be a crowd of workmen
standing by at the time and
Many killed exclaimed a breath
less listener
Many what
Killed blown up
Why Nothing explosive about
black sand is there London Scraps
His Conceit
The Abbe Pradt a rushlight of Na
poleons time was a most conceited
man The Duke of Wellington met him
in Taris at a dinner given in honor of
himself The abbe made a long ora
tion chiefly on the state of political
affairs and concluded with the words
We owe the salvation of Europe to
one man alone Before he gave me
time to blush said the duke he put
his hand on his heart and continued
To me
An Oath of Silence
In certain districts of vTestern Aus
tralia there are women who take an
oath to remain silent after the death of
their husbands In some cases they
Will remain mute for two years after
the funeral and very often the oath
Is kept also by the mother and moth-In-law
of the deceased Paris Revile
Medicale
The Poets
Poets are born and not made
But they aint born tagged opined
B rural philosopher Their fathers
consequently hafter go ahead and ed
dicate em jest as if they was going
to be good fer something Louisville
Courier Journal
Defined
Pa what is a knocker
A knocker my boy is a man who
usually finds fault with another map
who is doing something better than
he could do it himself Detroit Free
Press
When men are friends there is no
need of justice Aristotle
ABOUT ADVERTISING NO 6
If It Fits You Wear
i his Cap
By Herbert Kaufman
Advertising isnt a crucible with which
lazy bigoted and incapable merchants can
turn incompetency into success but one into
which brains and tenacity and courage can be
poured and changed into dollars It is only
a short cut across the fields not a moving
platform You cant get there without
going some
Its a game in which the workei not the
shirker gets rich
By its measurement every man stands for
what he is and for what he does not for what he
was and what he did
Every day in the advertising world is another
day and has to be taken care of with the same
energy as its yesterday
The quitter cant survive where the plugge7
has a ghost of a chance
Advertising doesnt take the place of busi
ness talent or business management It simply
tells what the business is znhow it is managed
The snob whose father created and who is
content to live on what was handed to him
cant stand up against the man who knows he
must build for himself
What makes you think thtyou are entitled
to prosper as well as a competitor who works
twice as hard for his prosperity
Why should as many people come to your
store as patronize a shop that makes an endeavor
to get their trade and shows them that it is
worth while to come to its doors
Why should a newspaper send as many cus
tomers to you in half the time it took to fill an
establishment which advertised twice as long
and paid twice as much for its publicity
This is the day when the best man wins
after he proves that he is the best man when
the best store wins when it has shown that it is
the best store when the best goods win after
theyve been demonstrated to be the best goods
If you want the you cant get it by lying
inder the tree with your mouth open waiting
for it to drop too many other men are willing
to climb out on the limb and risk their necks
in their eagerness to get it away from you
It is a mans game this advertising just
hanging on and tugging and straining all the
time to get and keep ahead It is the finite ex
pression of the law of competition which sits in
blind folded justice over the markets of the
world
Copyright 190S by Tribune Company Chicago
R F D NO 1
They had a Christmas tree at the
Pickens school in district No 31 Miss
Geneva Fitch teacher and the report is
that they never had a finer bigger
time
In district No 3 Miss Dena Mette
teacher a Christmas tree was also a big
attraction The exercises were well at
tended and every one enjoyed the oc
casion
W E Bower has bought a farm near
Denver where his son Amos has land
and will move there in the spring IJis
son Ed will occupy the farm here
Nelson Downs has purchased 10 acres
frnm CZnrnlrl Wilnnv nn tho fnur
ners paying S1G0 an acre for the same J
Arthur Eandel is home from Franklin
for the holidays Will return to school
next Monday
Mrs ffm Stadler of Minden Nebr
is here visiting her parents Mrand Mrs
Jos Downs
Mr Dietz and family of Colorado are
visiting Fred Lenhart and family this
week
Marsh Phillippi and wife and John
son girls were at Dudekd Christmas
Jake Frichtner is at home
Both 0 K
The cash system and the edible life
strengthening quality cf D C Marshs
meats And they go well together
You pay for what you get only and get
only what you want
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II E DURHAM
A PAINTING and
PAPER HANGING
6S
I make a specialty of paper
hanging and carry a wei se
lected stouk of wall paper
Work guaranteed and pricps
reasonable Phone Red 2GT
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OPPORTUNITY
We want the asUtanrt of the ladies -
Tho e who n will be jriven a J2 -
piece Decorated China Dinner jset Do -
not mi d an opportunity like this Send -
us your name and we will tell you all
about it
j c wood co
Expert Cleaners and Dyers
Lincoln Nebraska
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