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Something Wrong With
Buds Menu Christmas
OTH 1
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TER O IjtrtJI
Twas merry Christinas till des now an I was feelin dandy
But I dont feel so merry now Say what did ail dat candy
How Susie Won
Her Xmas Gift
ilPlralrfe
Uncle Henry Well well How little
Susie is improving in her piano play
ing I must give her a real nice
Christmas present for working so
hard
A DOGS CHRISTMAS GIFT
How a Friend Remembered Roy the
Collie
Last Christmas a neatly ribboned
box arrived by express in a New Eng
land town addressed to Roy a collie
A fine large bone with plenty of good
red meat still adhering was found
within Hoy put the bone where it
would do him the most good after one
of his friends had removed the paraffin
paper and holly berry garnishment
which the donor had sent along The
bone was a Christmas gift from a little
girl in the south who had spent the
A FIXE IiABGE I50XE
summer In Roys town and had be
come very fond of the dog Roys next
friend dictated and sent the following
telegram to the little girl
ilanj thanks for the bone Tou are the
only one who remembered me today
Many happy returns
ROY
A Christmas Race
Here is a new sort of thrac legged
race wbk u does not require all the
trouble of tying your racers together
and is very much better than the old
wav In fact girls may go in this
kind as well as boys with no fear of
hurting themselves and two nimble
girls stand a very good chance of beat
ing two boys to
All you have to do is to grasp the
raised left foot of a companion who
hops along in front of you It is really
a race of hops and the best hopper
will surely win a Christmas gift as a
prize for it is no trick at all for the
one behind to run as fast as the front
one can hop
XMAS BIRDS AND BEASTS
Picturesque Method of Celebrating
Yuletide by the Poles
The legend that the birds and beasts
came to worship the infant Jesus has
brought about a peculiar and pictur
esque method of celebrating Christmas
among the Poles and other kindred
peoples of eastern Europe
Here men mask in the guise of
storks bears and other animals orj
birds and go about from house to
Whi
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IN THE GUISE OF STOKKS BEARS AND
OTHER ANIJIAIS
house singing carols To carry out
the idea these wild birds and savage
beasts are led about by keepers
After the traditional carols are sung
the inmates of the house thus hon
ored reward the singers by gifts of
cakes sausages and other dainties
The procession then moves to another
house where the performance is re
peated
A Ckistmss Eve Sentence
were four little stockings of
THERE little sizes
According to common report
That couldnt escape being spite of
disguises
Arrested and called into court
J If j r gl Til
f
Now what have you taken With
brows that were knitted
This question the magistrate put
And each little stocking quite boldly ad
mitted
Why I ran away with a foot
N5prJ
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1
Then the voice of the court shaking win-
dow and rafter
In accents quite tragical rang
While the children In bed also shook
though with laughter j
I sentence each stocking to hang
T SAPP JR
Food and Emotion
The following really happened on
board a pleasure steamer In the Kylcs
of Bute A young honeymoon couple
were sitting side by side gam on
the lovely scenery around them
Isnt It heavenly George she tur
mured I feel thrills all over inc
Then without a pause as if still tar
ried away by the Inspiration of the
moment Dearest If there are any loft
I think I would like a chocolate
No good reason exists why spiritual
emotions should not make one hungry
The bride who demanded rweets was
wiser than a girl who once renin icM
starving and inconsolable in her rui
after the departure of her lover fir
India At last an amateur Hebe ven
tured upstairs with a cup of coffee
and a plate of toast Yielding to per
suasion the afflicted maiden was in
duced to eat and drink and began to
look somewhat less dejected
I believe I was dying for something
all the time she finally confessed
but I was afraid to ask lest people
would believe me to be less unhappy
than I really am London Black and
While
A Tribute to Sauerkraut
Those Americans who have visited
Munich know well the noble statue at
the head of the Kartoffelsaladstrasse
raised by grateful Bavaria to the mem
ory of St Hermann of Pilsen in
ventor and protagonist of sauerkraut
The genial old saint a smile upon his
face is seen stirring a large kettle of
kraut with an oar of gilt bronze and
so lifelike is the carving that the trav
eler standing by can well nigh scent
the perfumed steam and hear the flut
ter of angelic wings In these unro
mantic United States we have no pub
lic monuments to nermann and his
very name indeed is unknown to all
save a few cognoscenti But neverthe
less and notwithstanding this neglect
the delicious victual he gave to the
world is firmly enshrined in the hearts
of the American people Stewed gen
tly in Rhine wine it tickles the esoph
agi of the opulent boiled in plain
lrydrant water it nourishes the son of
toil It is at once a viand a passion
and a public institution Baltimore
Sun
Scared Out of the Duel
One day M Edmond About called
upon Grisier the most celebrated fenc
ing master of his day I am in a
quandary said About I allowed
myself yesterday the pleasure of a
joke in bad taste and a duel is to be
the result I know nothing whatever
about fencing and as you can see I
am fat Will you give me a lesson ro
that I may not make myself too ridicu
lous The lesson was given bul
About proved a very pior pupil On
his way out he saw a photograph of
Grisier I suppose he said I must
not ask you for one of these With
the greatest pleasure said the fencing
master And with a chuckle Grisier
wrote across the photograph To M
Edmond About the best pupil I have
ever had A few hours afterward the
seconds of Abouts adversary called
on the writer saw the photograph on
the mantelpiece and fearing for their
friend at the hands of so redoubtable
a swordsman arranged the affair with
out any duel
How Henry Irving Wanted to Die
What have I got out of it said
Henry stroking his chin and smiling
slightly Let me see Well a good
cigar a good glass of wine good
friends Here he kissed my hand
with courtesy Always he was so
courteous always his actions like
this little one of kissing my hand were
so beautifully timed They came just
before the spoken words and gave
them peculiar value
Thats not a bad summing up of it
all I said And the end how would
you like that to come
How would I like that to come j
He repeated my question lightly yet
meditatively too Then he was silent
for some thirty seconds before he snap
ped his finders the action again be
fore the words
Like that Elon Terry in Vie- f
Clures Magazine I
KiiCrCGG
Speaki of tin ark lie said I
saw a Iitl boy at ily vrif i his
Noahs rrk the ether day I wat bs
him vvt i ird all i In peuji I1 the
painted animals and then I vw him
place carefully in a rirleved it
ii ers cf wc d
What ae tlir viy yyuV hsp
Tho us mlercbos said he
It ccurrcd to rf bet r
but cours have b ji
pair o i - in the ark Ha
Weekly
hi Honcci Vcy
More Toii oxc iaimed a
ces ful fiiiau icr contemptuously
The- a k vd vas of mav
noc
l l ur culy cue honest way
ted hit frrsanivn
i
Uni I ihwVirrbt yon wouldnt know i
London Tciorrph
irduiceni
I have su h an indulgent husband
pud little Mrs Doll
Yes so George says responded
Mr Spiteful Sometimes indulges a
little too much doesnt he London I
Tit Bits
Sweeping
That is a sweeping argument re
marked a husband whose wife used a j
broom to convince him that he ought
to have been home several hours pre
viously
The weeping at a wedding is never
as renl as that which sometimes
comes afterward Atchison Globe
shozs ai stockings
A Way by Which Their Lasting Quali
ties Msy Bo Increased
While your shoos are new or before
the soles are much worn apply with a
small brush several coats of linseed
oil letting it dry in well each time be
fore reapplying The oil acts mm I
the same on the leather as It does on
wood aid If the applications of oU
are repeated frequently the sole may
be presehved intact indefinitely
It sounds unreasonable to talk of
preserving hosiery to any appreciable
extent but it may be done The of
tener hosiery Is washed the longer It
will last By washing 1 do not neces
sarily mean the ordinary laundry
method which is calculated to fade
and rot the fiber Really to preserve
hosiery it must have personal super
vision Stockings should never b
worn longer than one day They
should then be rinsed in lukewarm
water with a few drops of ammoniu
In it dried and worn without ironing
This repeated wetting of the liber
keeps it so firm and strong that it will
not break at the points of greatest
distension This treatment applies to
cotton lisle thread and silk hosiery
If you will treat your new hose this
way from the beginning you need
darn but very little Of course in time
all hosiery however expensive or
strong will succumb to wear but the
above method of treatment will double
the lasting qualities New York
World
THE LETTER THAT KILLETrh
Trifling Errcrs That Have Had Big
Results In Court
It is on record that Lord Den man
established great reputation at the b
by securing an acquittal in a famous
case on the ground that a certain firm
described in the indictment as pro
prietors of a silk and cotton lace man
ufactory should have been described
as proprietors of a silk and of a eoi
ton lace manufactory it having been
ascertained that they made both silk
and cotton lace
In 1S27 a judge quashed an inquisi
tion for murder because it was refer
red to the jurors as on their oaths
Instead of on their oath
In yet another case the judge held
that the omission of the word ewe
was sufficient to Invalidate a convic
tion because the word ewe as wei
as sheep was used in the statute
In 18 11 Lord Cardigan was indicted
for firing on Captain Tucket in a duel
no was acquitted because the cap
tains Christian names were wrongly
entered in the indictment
In another case about the same pe
riod a legal document was invalidated
because the letters A D were used
instead of the words In the year of
our Lord Westminster Review
Bats In a Bedroom
An army of bats invaded the bed
room of a rectory in Dorsetshire and
from every part of the room they
could be heard plunging against mir
rors and glasses knocking against the
ceiling while too often to be pleasant
one would hit against the head of the
bed The rector struck a match and
lit a candle This served to attract
the creatures nearer to that particu
lar part of the room in which the bed
was placed Then the reverend gen
tleman placed the caudle near an open
window only to find that other bats
began to come in so that it was im
possible to count how many there
were in the room Another plan was
tried All the curtains were drawn
aside and the east window opened
wide The light was put out and the
visitors gradually dispersed London
Standard
Yawning Fish
The mouth of the turbot is twisted
to one side rather as if it had belonged
to a round fish which some one had ac
cidentally trod on and squashed half
fiat The yawn begins at the lips
which open as if to suck in water
Then the jaws become distended and
it is seen that this is going to be a
real genuine fishs yawn But the
yawn goes on works through the back
of its head distending the plates of the
skull and comes out at the gills which
open show the red inside and are in
flated for a moment and then with a
kind of stretching shiver of its back
the fish flattens out again London
Mail
Oririnality Needed
To revive an old style of building no
matter how well it may be done does
nothing to advance the art of building
It would at the best be but a copy of
an old work Painters copy old mas
ters for the purpose of study but
copying pictures will never make a
painters reputation Something new
must be achieved some original work
executed before any advance in art- is
possible So it fc with architecture
Country House
Word Painting
Jimmy reading Casey swatted de
leather into left garden fer a brace of
sacks an den pilfered thoid base an
dented de pan on Mullegans lallipa
loosa dat sailed over Outfielder
Phaugnessys nut I tell yer Willie
dats word painriu dat is Shake
speare never could beat dat Ex
change
An Eye Closer
Griggs I say old man whats good
for insomnia I havent closed my
eyes for five nights Colonel You
want to have a boxing match The
first time I tried it I remember my
eyes were closed for a fortnight
The Flight of Time
When did yon move into the sub
urbs
Three cooks ago Puck
W
Winter Excursions
Low Rates
WINTER TOURIST RATES Daily reduced rate excursions to Cali
fornia Old Mexico Southern and Cuban Resorts
HOMESEEKERS EXCURSIONS -First and third Tuesdays of each
month to many points west south and southwest
PERSONALLY CONDUCTED EXCURSION TO FLORIDA by Superin
tendent Public Instructions of Nebraska Mr J L McBrien leaving
Lincoln and Omaha December 19th Write G W Bonnet C P
A Lincoln for itinerary
GOVERNMENT IRRIGATED HOMESTEADS in the Big Horn Basin and
Yellowstone Valley One of the last chances to secure good farms
from the Government tit low prices Go with Mr D Clem Denver
on the next personally conducted excursion He will help you secure
w w m
lilnKWnl
H P SUTTON
McCOOK
GIVE ME
A TRIAL
73 one of these farms No charge for his services
Excursions first and third Tuesdays
D F HosTETTKit Ticket Agent McCook Nob
L YV Wakeiky G P A Omaha
JEWELER
MUSICAL GOODS
NEBRASKA
Mike Walsh
DEA1ER IN
POULTRY EGG S
Old Rubber Copper and Brass
j Highest Market Price Paid in Cash
i Now location just across FnC rrr
street in PWalsh bnildinsr
mnmaamammrwmmBBamrmmmmmmtmmnMmmmMmn w
Office First Door
South of DeGrGfPs
Phone 13
s5rSa3JSNSNvaB
J D BURGESS
Plumber and
Steam Fitter
U Iron Leaa ana Sewer Pipe Brass
L Goci Pumps an BoierTrimm ngs
gz Estirrates Furnished Free base-
n ent of the Posioffice Building
1 McCOOK NEBRASKA
KNflBvtftN BV5SVS BsMsSSsEfrdi
AUTOMOBILE LIVERY
DALLAS DIVJNE Prop
PHONE 166 McCOOK KEBR
Night or day trips
made anywhere
Prices Reasonable GoodJ Service
Guaranteed
t r
WE HAVE
i TO BURN j
I
Barnett Lumber Co t
Phone 5 i ka
1 in
I El
I Sank bSstle
EMGRAYER and ELECTROTYPER
PriOILIIM 1420 24 LAWREJ1CE DEHVmCOLO
ffTnima
lil tHIPl
553aJ82IS
-
Telephone 55
fr
Dr J O Bruce 3
OSTEOPATH
McCook Neb
Office over Elecric Theatre on Alain Ave
iiL i ifA L1 L M 1 ffJ t
Vv Updike Grain Co
COAL
Phone 69 SSGARVKY Mtrr
TriWF vfvfi y v pit prrrvn ra
J S McBRAYER
Real estate Harm Loans
anu lnburanci
r Office over Mirshs Mit Market
F 0 S B 0 R N li 1 i i 1Vti fly ivi i y 1 1 v
Drayman
Prompt Service
Courteous Treatment
Reasonable Prices
GATEWOODVAHLh
DENTISTS
Office over McAdams Store Phone J o
m R mm
DENTIST - j
Office Rooms 3anl fi WalMi BU Me
Dr J A Col for
DENTIST
Room - liiiii
Phone 378 McCOOK XKURASKA
JOHN E KELLEV
ATTORNEY AT LAW and
BONDED ABSTRACTS1
McCook Nebraska
ESAgentof Lincoln Land Co and of ilctJtwi
Waterworks Office in Postollicu baiiliut
C H Botle
C K VtinuKO
BOYLE ELDREB
Attorneys at J aw
Long Distance J inc 4
Rooms 1 and 7 second floor
PoEtofBce BnildiDg
Melons ftes
A G BUMP
Real Estate
and Insurance
Room Two over McConnelPa drug
store McCook Nebraska
YOU WOULD DO WELL I O SEE
J M Rupp
FOR ALL KINDS OF Prif j Wpfk
P O Box 131 ilcCoou NVbraski
Micklleton Ituhy
PLUMBING an 4
STEAM FITTIICG
All work uarmf rd
Phone 1S2 McCook Niiris a
E
Stomach trouble is but a symptom of and not
In itself a true disease We think of Dyspepsia
Heartburn and Indigestion as real diseases yet
they are symptoms only of a certain specula
Nerve sickness nothing else
Itvras this fact that first correctly led Dr Shoop
in the creation of that now very popular Stomach
Bemedy Dr Snoops Restorative Going direci
to the stomach nerves alone brought that success
and favor to Dr Shoop and his Restorative With
out that original and highly vital principle no
juch lasting accomplishments were ever to be had
For stomach distress bloating biliousness bad
breath and sallow complexion try Dr Shoopj
Restorative Tablets or Liquid and see for your
self vrhat it can and will do We sell and cheer
fully recommend
Dr SKoops
Restorative
A Mo MILLEN
BEGGS CHERRY COUGH
SYRUP cures coughs and colds
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