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By Goodlee Thomas
COPYRIGHT ZOOS BY GOOOIiOE THOMAS
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MOW ebrybody ought to know deys welkim as kain bo
So pitch right in an hep yoselbs to ebryting yo see
Jes staht dein biskits goin round fo dats yo job oP man
An chase dcm wif de sweet pertaters quick s dey leab yo han
Now Mose yo show yo mannahs fo dese folks er Ah tell yo
Daihll be a chile go hongry an hell git a lickin too
Heah Oncle Dan is de possum meat Ahs lookin aftah dat
An heahs a piece espeshly youahs all brown an streaked wif fat
WHAS dat de graby Don yo fret its comin right up daili
An sich Wy dat air possum fat enough I do declaih
To mek enough er graby fo de machin Isrulite3
Heah Revend Mistah Feguson be suah yo gets yo rights
De smell am sweet Wy man yo tas an den I bet yo shout
An mek de neighbohs wondah wha de fuss am all about
Heahs little Eph Now chile Is sabed yo sumpin nice an sweet
Whas dat Good Ian Dis boy is sayin he don lak possum meat
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NOW JO DE POSSTJH DINNER
HE saize he don5 lak possum meat an him a son o mine
Now honey tuhn to all dese folks an knowledge up yos lyin
Mek out tuz jes a lil joke to aggervate yo ma
Or clar to goodness Ahs jes boun to whup yo till yos raw
Yo speak de truf e yo lil imp Den whas yo doin heah
A settin up wif niggah folks to mek yosef appeah
A niggah too when ebry one kain tell in spite youah black
Dat tuhnin way fum possum meat yo aint de hones fack
ijELL dere yo pa saize nebbah min bekaze yos such a mite
t V Dat taint youah fault yo sumays missed youah nachul ppetite
Hoi out yo plate deres plenty mo to fill a chile lak yo
De good Xawd mek yo suhtain ways Ah spose dats got to do
But Ian Ahs feared yo grow up wrong an mebbe be a shame
To all de cullahd circle an de spected famly name
Fo ebbah sence Ahs ol enough to stan upon ma feet
Ahs spishoned any niggah dat would tuhn fum possum meat
EMFEROR AT THE PLOW
Peculiarities of Chinas Thanksgiving
Celebration
In China at the beginuius of winter
a thanksgiving festival is held at
which the deities are especially thank
ed for the preservation of life and
health during the preceding twelve
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THE EMPZBOU OPENS SEYERAI rCBBOWa
months Offerings are presented op
the family altar and the ceremony is
brought to a close by a ffnmd dinner
at -which all members of the family
can partake The feasting and rejoic
ing are kept up for days
On the fifteenth day of the first moon
the emperor of China goes in great
state to a certain field accompanied
by the chief officers of his household
and prostrates hiinself touching the
ground nine times with his head in
honor of the god Tien and pronounces
a prayer invoking the blessing of the
great being Then as high priest of
the empire he sacrifices a bullock to
heaven as the fountain of all good
While the victim is being offered a
plow drawn by a pair of highly orna
mented oxen is brought to the emper
or who throws aside his imperial robe
lays hold of the plow handles and
opens several furrows The principal
mandarins follow his example and the
festival which is really a species of
thanks in advance for good harvests
ends with a distribution of clothes and
money to the poor
RABBIT HUNTING DANCE
Odd Thanksgiving Festival Held by
the Pueblo Indians
The rabbit hunting dance of the
Pueblo Indians at Zuni Acoma Taos
and Isleta isa festival contemporane
ous with that of the white man In
the dance the Indians give thanks and
pray for future favors The chief of
each village designates a day in No
vember for the festival and the dan
cers who are dressed in white cotton
shirts and pantaloons and carry guns
chant and dance as long as breath and
strength remain They begin at day
light and after a pause for food at
noon continue dancing far into the
night They pray fervently that the
Great Spirit may give them power to
slay plenty of rabbits and other game
and also thank him for the game the
crops and the rain of the season past
it
THE GUILLOTINE
Was Not Invented by tbr
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vynuaa iiwiiii it uwui o
In a book published by Ilector
PAYING FOR A MEAL
It Was Worth About a Shilling to Pick
Those Bones
Colonel Ebenczcr Sproat of Revolu
tionary fame was born and bred in
Middleboro Mass lie was always
fond of a joke and was quick to seize
an opportunity to indulge his propen
sity as the following incident illus
trates His father also a Colonel
Sproat kept a tavern One day while
Ebenezer was at home on a furlough
three private soldiers on their return
from the seat cf war called for a cold
luncheon
Mrs Sproat set on the table some
bread and cheese with the remnants of
the family dinner which her son
thought rather scanty fare for hungry
men lie felt a little vexed that the
defenders of the country were not
more bountifully supplied The sol
diers after satisfying their appetites
asked him how much they should pay
Ebenezer said he would ask his moth
er He found her in the kitchen
Mother he said how much is it
worth to pick those bones
About a shilling I guess she an
swered
The young officer returned to the sol
diers and taking from the barroom till
3 shillings and smiling genially upon
them gave each man one and wjtli
good wishes sent them on their way
Mrs Sproat soon after came in and
asked Ebenezer what he had done with
the money for the soldiers dinner
In apparent amazement he exclaim
ed Money Did I not ask you what
it was worth to pick those bones and
you said a shilling I thought it little
enough for the bones were pretty
bare and I handed the men the money
from the till and they are gone
Mrs Sproat could not find heart to
reprove her favorite son for this mis
interpretation of her words and then
she too loved a joke and so after an
instants glum look she laughed and
said it was all right
Had Seen Them AH Before
Once while James Whitcomb Rilej
was visiting a town wlnre he ajs
booked to give a reading a committee
called to take him in a carriage over
the city In acknowledging the com
pliment he said
Ill go with you gentIenKit provid
ed you promise that you will not show
me the new courthouse the iew town
hall the new bridge the new school
building and the new jail for Ive seen
them all a hundred times in as many
towns and they invariably wear me
out before the time arrives for the
curtain to rise on the evening enter
tainment
Influence of Mountains
The influence of the mountain is pure
and holy giving strength and simplic
ity encouraging the older virtues dis
couraging the newer vices In the hill
men of Wales we see this clo irly
enough Go where you will among the
wilder and more mountainous parts of
Wales and you will find that rare in
dependence and self reliance which are
not marred by a curiously defiant dis
courtesy You find there those that
are truly natures gentlemen Lon
don Standard
A Good Reason
One day Mary was found standing
on a chair in front of the mirror gaz
ing at her pretty image
Why are you looking In the glass
darlingasked her mother
Cause I like the look of me was
the frank reply Chicago News
Ungallani
Officer I appeal for protection A
man Is following me and attempting
to make love to me
Begorry Oive been lookin for an
escaped lunatic Where Is he Kan
sas City Times
CURIOSITIES OF OIET
Fleischman lu Germany the story of HOW Nature Adapts Food to Man
tue origin or me lusiruuiuiii oi execu
tion which was named for Dr Guillo
tiu In the days of the reign of terror
Is flatly denied There is no truth
In the story su long believed he says
that the genial old physician Invented
the machine which was named for him
and l3 means of which he is said to
have lost his life shortly after its adop
tion Guillotin in keeping with the
spirit of his time proposed on Oct
10 17S9 that all offenders regardless
of their birth or station should be dealt
with alike by the law and six mouths
later he proposed to the government
that convicted murderers should bo
beheaded by means of a simple appara
tus The mechanism of which lie and
no one else had any idea at that time
was spoken of as the simple appara
tus by the humorists of the day and
the phrase was used to make its pro
poser ridiculous so that when a ma
chine finally was adopted the wits of
the time named it guillotine The gov
ernment evidently recognizing the val
ue of the suggestion asked one An
toine Louis a surgeon at the Salpe
triere to devise a machine and later
gave a similar order to a carpenter by
the name of Guidon who offered to
construct an instrument for decapita
tion for rGG0 livres This was consid
ered too high a price and the contract
was given to a German cabinetmaker
by the name of Tobias Schmidt who
received 821 livres for the accepted
model in 1792 Schmidt made guillo
tines for all the provinces and the in
dustry brought him a moderate for
tune which he proceeded to squander
in Taris while Dr Guillotin who nev
er had anything to do with the making
of a machine which bore his name
continued to practice his profession
quietly and unostentatiously in Paris
until he died there on March 2G 1S14
and Man to Food
GREAT VALUE OF CEREALS
Why People Can Et Bread at Every
Meal Without Getting Tired of It
The Fruits cf the Burning Tropic3
and thj Fats cf the Frozen Arctic
Modern science has showu that na
ture provides food for mankind with
marvelous care and foresight The hu
man system requires a certain amount
of proteid dally to replace wornout
muscle and tissue Fish and meat sup
ply this in large quantities In hot
climates however these spoil so quick
Iy that their use is limited Nature
as if to compensate for this has given
to certain tropical fruits a much larger
quantity of proteid than northern fruits
contain Thus government analysis
shows that figs have five units or calo
ries to the ounce dates two and live
tenths and bananas one and five tenths
Apples have five tenths peaches niue
teulhs and pears seven tenths Prob
ably the figs and dates tested had lost
part of tin i moisture and some allow
ance should be made for this
The Arab rail therefore maintain his
vigor on a diet chiefly plucked from
trees Ilenry M Stanley an 1 his white
companions subsisted alio t entirely
on banana flour for two years in the
African jungle Their freedom from
disease was in pirt attributed to tue
wholesomeness of this diet The dried
banana contains 20 per cent of prou id
about double that of ordinary wheat
dour
At the opening of the mango season
lu Jamaica many of the natives prac
tically live ou this fruit for two or
three weeks They fairly revel in it
An Englishman who was familiar with
the science of diet could not under
stand how they could not only main
tain their health ou this fare but
actually grow rleek and fat Ce knew
that an effort to live on the fruits of
his native country would result in
weakness sickness and eventual death
Chemical analysis showed howeer
that the mango contained enough pro
teid to supply the bodily ueeds
If nature has been thus kind in
adapting food to mans uses she has
been equally so in adapting man to his
food You ma j have wondered why
people can eat bread at every meal
without tiring of it The difficulty of
eating oue quail a day for thirty days
is well known Even such delicacies as
asparagus and strawberries cause an
aversion when served too frequently
Nature sends men a never failing ap
petite for cereals because they are alto
gether the most valuable of foods
They contain a considerable amount of
proteid their salts are of importance
to the organism they are readily di
gested when properly cooked and they
furnish a great deal of nourishment iu
small bulk
Thus wheat flour cornmeal oatmeal
dry and rice dry have more than
100 units to the ounce Baked potatoes
have 327 units cabbage has 92 spin
ach 7 asparagus G3 apples 1S4 straw
berries 114 spring chicken 195 and
tenderloin of beef broiled 39 If a man
tried to get even half of his nutrition
from the coarse vegetables which have
a considerable indigestible residue he
would have to eat pouuds of them
daily and his stomach would be sadly
overburdened Nature gives us the de
sire for a varied diet and science
shows that this is altogether the best
for us
In the arctic regions there is little
vegetation Man must live almost
wholly on animal foods Fish and
meat would not suffice because they
contain only proteids These would re
place wornout muscle and tissue but
could not be burued in the body to
generate heat and energy Fats how
ever consist of carbon and hydrogen
which are the chief components of the
foods of vegetable origin and supply
the fuel needed by the body The po
lar animals have fat in abundance but
icsidents of the temperate and torrid
zones can eat it only in limited quan
tities To them the mere thought of
chewing chunks of grease is uause
atiug
The children of the frozen north
however are endowed not only with
the ability to eat and to digest largo
quantities of fat but with a keen ap
petite for it One who is sensitive to
such impressions must turn awaj
when he soes the natives of southern
Alaska the Thlinkits swallowing seal
oil flavored by salmon berries with the
gusto of a boy over ice cream The
Eskimos farther north will eat blub
ber slightly cooked in the flames to
an indefinite number of pounds New
York Tribune
Her Object Attained
Forgive me my dear said the gos
sip humbly but I thoughtlessly men
tioned to Mrs Brown the things that
you told me in strict confidence
There is nothing to forgive replied
the wise woman pleasantly It was
for that very purpose that I told them
to you in strict eonnueuce
I Post
-Chicago
Getting Even
You are half an hour late this
morning said a schoolmaster to a
scholar
Yes sir replied the boy who had
Ipor kept In the day before It
was late yesterday when I got home
London Tit Bits
We give altogether too little Impor
tance to what we say to others and too
much to what they say to us Eliot
A MENTAL FRENZY
Some of the Things a Man Saw In Do
lirium Tremens
Charles Roman gives n record of his
own experiences as a victim of delir
ium tremens It is a remarkable psy
chological document comparing favor
ably in interest nnd as a piece of writ
ing with De Qiiinceys Confessions of
an Opium Eater Following is a brief
extract which gives some suggestions
of the things the patient saw
Up to this point the zoological vis
itations had been intermittent Dur
ing the next few days however I saw
all that I could stand I saw such pre
historic creatures as exist nowhere ex
cept in museums I saw rats as they
marched past my door or Hew through
my windows or floated In my tub
Elephants strode iu and out with lum
bering steps and swaying trunks At
times they seated themselves and
taunted me with their thunderous bel
lows or their ear splitting screeches
Thej flaunted their snouts high In the
air and giiiTawed Monkeys jumped
from limb to limb in the trees outside
my room Snakes of all colors of all
descriptions reptiles with fantastic
figures upon their backs and witli eyes
of sapphire or ruby or of milk white
marble wriggled upon the floor or
crept in or out of heretofore unseen
crevices in the walls and dropped into
the water iu my tub They swam
around and around me squirming un
der me with their tongues darting in
and out with ferocious activity Gi
raffes craned their necks around the
doorways or through the windows
chickens roosted over my head and
cackled dogs and wolves ran around
the room barking and snapping pi
geons flew from one corner to another
and cooed Lions I heaid roaring and
tigers I saw while they opened their
mouths like huge cats in silent angry
disapproval licking their whiskers
and wettLig their paws softly and
daintily this and far more
I saw crocodiles In droves Fat
scaly glistening beasts they were
with frothy foaming jaws long sweei
ing tails crouching upon or creepiug
along the foot of my bathtub or my
bed and grinding their yellow teeth in
gluttonous auger as they contemplated
me their prey I saw the reeking
slippery body of a crocodile slide into
the water of my tub Then as I
shrank in breathless horror to escape
I saw his greedy lilmy eyes arise to
the surface with his cold foul chin
flush with mine His icy beak touch
ed my cheek The hot vapor from his
lungs seared my flesh 1 turned as
cold as ice and trembled like a leaf in
a storm American Magazine
GENESIS OF FEAR
Gray Cells of Our Brains Stamped
With Ancient Terrors
The average man would sooner face
a 200 pound human antagonist than a
fifty pound dog which he cok Id choke
to death in three minutes I have een
a charging ram scatter half a dozen
men any one of whom could have
mastered the brute in a moment and
not one of whom was in ordinary mat
ters a coward There are instances on
record of men who with their bare
hands have held and baffled an ugly
bull but it was only the pressure of
grim necessity that taught them their
powers Put a man against an animal
and the man looks around for weap
ons or support whether he needs them
or not There was a time when he did
For man today the most lordly of
animals was once well nigh the most
humble of them all He has come up
out of a state in which fear was the
normal condition of existence fear of
violence of the dark that gave oppor
tunity for violence fear of falling of
animals of being alone And into the
plastic gray cells of our brains are
stamped these ancient terrors a liv
ing record of the upward climb of
man
The shows this record most
clearly In him the prints of heredity
are not yet overlaid by the tracks of
use and custom and therefore in him
we may mcbt easily read our patt his
tory lie is our ancestor as truly as
he is our reincarnation and his every
shrinking gesture and frightened cry
are chronicles of the younger world
tales of the age of fear
They tell of the days when man was
not the master of the earth nor even
a highly considered citizen of the
same but a runaway subject of the
meat eating mouarchs whose scepter
was tooth and claw a humble plebeian
iu the presence of the horned and
hoofed aristocrats of woods and fields
They speak of the nights when our
hairy sires crouched in the forks of
trees and whimpered softly at the
dark whimpered because the dark
held so many enemies whimpered
softly lest those enemies should hear
Lippincotts
Bright Prospects
My dear saul the hanker to his
only daughter I have noticed a young
man attired in a dress suit in the
drawing room two or three evenings
each week of late What is his occu
pation
He is at present unemployed fa
ther replied the fair girl a dreamy
faraway look in her big blue eyes but
he is thinking seriously of accepting a
position of life companion to a young
lady of means
An Everyday Suit
That Gus is certainly a nifty dress
er He has a suit of clothes for every
day in the week
Why he has the same suit on every
time I see him
Yep thats the one Cleveland
Leader
The sweetest of all sounds Is praise
Zenophou
OR B J GUNN
DENTIST
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Ofllco Rooms 3 nnd 5 Wnlah IU McCoiWi
GATE WOOD VAHUfe
DENTISTS
Office over McAdams More Phone 199
Dr J A Colfer
DENTIST
Room Postofkick Huildimv
Phono 178 McCOOK NEBRASKA
JOHN E KELLEY
ATTORNEY AT LAW and
BONDED ABSTEACTEE
McLook Nehkaska
G Anfut of Lincoln Land Co ami of McCouk
Water Works Ofllcrt In Pottnlllcc litiiMioc
P II Hoyik
C K Eumxu
BOYLE ELDREB
attorneys at I aw
Lung Distance ue 41
Rooms 1 and 1 second door
Posrtollico UtiilduiK
MCCOOt KciL
A G BUMP
Real Estate
and Insurance
Room Two over McConnells dttGg
store McCook Nebraska
i
YOU WOULD DO WELL TO SEE
J M Rupp
FOR ALL KINDS OF Rpjol Vjnffc
P O Box 131 McCook Nebraska
Uirldleton Ruby
PLUMBING and
STEAM FITTING
All work guaranteed
Phono 182 McCook Nobrnski
AUTOMOBILE LIVERY
DALLAS DIVINE Prop
PHONE 166 McCOOK NEBIL
Night or da trips
made anywhere
Prices Reasonable Good Service
Guaranteed
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I Mike Walsh
DEALER IN
POULTRY EGGS
Old Rubber Copper and Brass
Highest Market Price Paid in Cash
Now location jnst acros rrCrflri
street in P Walsh building
EShD9
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F D BURGESS
Plumber and 1
Steam Fitter
Iron Lead and Seer Pipe Brass
Goods Pumps an Boiler Tr mrrings
Estimates Furnished Free Base
ment of the postoice Building
McCOOK NEBRASKA
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