M Red Saunders
By
MENRY WALLACE PHILLIPS
COPYIUGHT 1902 BY McCLURE PHILLIPS ts COMPANY
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Dear dear imys lie The hurry
nnd Bkurry of young folks How Idle
it seems when you get fifty years
away from It and see how little any
thing counts Tor all that I thank
God says he that theres a little red
left In my blood yet which makes me
sympathize with them But the girls
people obJect you say
I made that all clear to him The
girls always all right father says I
and as for the man in this case my
word for him
Now it aint just the right thing
for me to say but seeing as Ive nev
er had anything In particular to be
modest about and Im proud of what
the old gentleman told me Im going
to repeat it
You r word is good for me Ited
says he Youre a mischievous boy
at times but your heart and your head
are both reliable Give me your arm
to the wagon
Then I felt mighty sorry to think
of lugging that poor old man all that
ways
Here says I Now you 3it down
again Dont you do anything of the
sort You aint lit
Ho put his hand on my shoulder
and hobbled his weight off the game
leg
Roddy I was sitting there think
ing when you came In thinking of
how comfortable it was to be in an
easy chair with my foot on a stool
and then I thought If the Lord
should send me some work to do
would I be willing Now thanks be
to him I am willing and glad to And
myself so and I do not believe theres
any work more acceptable to him than
the union of young folk who love each
other Ouch says he as that foot
touched the ground Perhaps youd
better pick me up and carry me bod
ily
So I did it the old housekeeper fol
lowing us with an armful of things
and jawing the both of us him for a
fool and me for a villain She was a
Btrong minded old lady and I wish I
could remember some of her talk It
was great
We went around and got the doc
tor
Hoo says he Is It as bad as
that I winked at Father Slade
Its a plenty worse than that says
I You wont know the half of It till
you get down there
But of coarse we had to tell him
and he was tickled Funny what an
Interest everybody takes in these hap
penings He wanted all the details
By Jove says he the man whose
feelings aint the least dimmed by a
broken leg horse rolled on him you
said splintered it probably that
man is one of the right sort Hell do
to tie to
When we reached the ranch the
boys were lined up to meet us Hur
ry along they called Angey cant
keep uncle amused all day
So we hustled Kyle was for being
married first and then having his leg
set but I put my foot down flat It
had gone long enough now and I
wasnt going to have him crlpplng it
all his life But the doctor worked
like a man who gets paid by the piece
nnd in less than no time we were able
to call Loys in
Wind River Smith spoke to get to
give the bride away and we let him
have it
Wed just got settled to business
when in comes Angevine puffing like a
buffalo For heavens sakes aint
you finished yet says he Well you
want to be at it for the old man aint
over two minutes behind me coming
fast I took the distance in ten foot
steps Just my luck Foot slipped
when I was talking to him and I
dropped a remark that made him sus
piciousI wouldnt have done it for a
ton of money but its too late now
Ill down him and hold him out there
if you say so
Well sir at this old Father Slade
stood right up forgetting that foot
entirely
Children be ready says he and
he went over the line for a record
Hurry there hollers old Bob from
the outside where he was on watch
Here comes uncle up the long coulee
What are your names says Fa
ther Slade They told him both red
ning
Do you Kyle take this woman
Loys to have and keep track of come
hell or high water her heirs and as
signs for ever or such a matter
says he all in one breath They both
said tlyy did
Things Cew till we came to the
ring There was a hitch We had
plumb forgotten that important arti
cle For a minute I felt stingy Then
I cussed myself for a mean old long
horn and dived int my box
Here take this I says It was
my mothers
Oh lied you mustnt part with
1faat cried Loys her eyes filling up
Dont waste time talking I put
through what I tackle Hurry ploase
iather
Has anybody any objections to
these proceedings T says he
1 have says I but I wont men
tion em Give them the verdict
faW HliMJIillHf
U3 oaa5
v
I pronounce you man ana wire
Let us pray says he
Whats that screeches Uncle
Jonesy from the doorway And then
he gave us the queerest prayer you
ever heard in your life He stood on i
one toe and clawed chunks out of the
air while he delivered It
no seemed to have it In for me in
particular You villain You rascal
You redheaded rascal You did thisl
I know you did
Oh uncle says I forgive me
With that I hugged him right up to
me and he filled my bosom full oe
smothered language
Cheese it you little cuss I whis
pered in his ear or Ill break every
rib in your poor old chest I came In
on him a trifle just to show him what
I could do if I tried
Nuff he wheezes Quit NuQT
Go up and congratulate cm I
whispered again
I wont sajs he Ouch Yes I
will I will So up he goes grinding
his teeth
1 wish you every happiness he
grunts
Wont you forgive me uncle begs
Loys
Some other time some other
time he hollers and he pranced out
of the house like a hosstyle spider the
maddest little man in the territory
Loys had a hard time of it until
Kyle got so he could travel and they
went up to the Yellowstone with a
team for a wedding trip
The rest of Lo3s folks was in an
unpleasant frame of mind too They
sent out her brother and while Id
have took most anything from Loys
brother there comes a place where
human nature is human nature and
the upshot of it was I planked that
young man gently but firmly across my
knees Suffering Ike but he was one
sassy young man Howsomever the
whole outfit came round In time all
except uncle and me He used to grit
his teeth together till the sparks flew
when he saw me I was afraid hed
bust a blood vessel in one of them fits
so I quit I hated to let go of the old
ranch but Im pretty well fixed Im
superintendent here Its Kyles ranch
you know Thats his brand the
queer looking thing on the left hip of
that critter over the vented hash
knife Loys invention that is She
says its a cherublim but we call it
the flying flapjack Theres a right
smart lot of beef critters toting that
signal round this part of the country
Kyles one of the fellers that rises
like a setting of bread quiet and gen
tle but steady and sure Hes going
to the state legislature next year
Twont do no harm to have one honest
man In the outfit
Now perhaps if Id married some
nice woman I might have had 1000
steers of my own and a chance to
make rules and regulations for my fel
ler citizens and then again I might
have took to gambling and drinking
and raising blazes and broke my poor
wifes broom handle with my hard
head So I reckon well let it slide as
it is Now you straddle that cayuse
of yours and come along with me and
Ill show you some rattling colts
CHAPTER III
EDBY was on the station plat
form walking up and down
looking about him anxiously
We caught sight of each other
at the same time
Hi there said he and jumped for
me Gad dog your little hide he
cried as he put my right hand in line
for a pension I thought I was book
ed to go without saying goodby to
you You got the note I pinned on
your shack
Sure
Well theres time for a chin be
fore the choo choo starts Thought Id
be early not savvying this kind of
traveling a great deal Darned if you
aint growed since I saw you Getting
fat too Well hows everything I
didnt say nothing to the other boys
about pulling my freight as I wanted
to go sober for once You explain to
om that old Reds head aint swelled
will you Seems kind of dirty to go
off that way but Im bound for Gods
country and the old time folks and
somehow I feel that I must cut the
budge out of it Nother thing is Im
superstitious as you may or may not
have noticed and I believe if you try
the same game twicet youll get just
as different results as can be the sec
ond time You heard how I hit it In
the mines didnt you No Well
thats so You aint seen many people
out on the flat have you Hum I
dont know principally where to be
gin You remember Wind River
Smiths pardner that the boys called
Shadder because he was so thin Nice
feller always willing to do you a fa
vor or say something comical when
you least expected it Had kind of a
style with him too Yes sir thats the
man Well him and me was out in
the Bend one day holding a messof
Oregon half breeds that was to be
shipped by train shortly when old
Smithy comes with the mail Letter
for youShadder says Smith and
passes over a big envelope with wada
of sealing wax all over it Shadder
reads- his letter and folds it up Then
A Sl
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ne taiccs a locnr ovci Tiic country the
kind of a look a man gives when hes
thinking hard Then says he Red
take off your hat I done It Smithy
take off your hat All right says
Smith but you tell me why or Ill
snake the shirt off you to square
things
Boys says Shadder Im Lord
Walford
Lord nellford hollers Smithy
Youd better call somebody in to look
at your plumbing What you been
drinkin Shadder
Read for yourself says Shadder
and he handed him the letter
WIsht you could have seen old
Smithys face as he read it Ho
thought Ills pardner had been cut out
of his herd forever
Its the Gods truth Red says he
slowlj and he had a sideways smile
on his face as lie turned to Shadder
Well sir says he I suppose congrat
ulations are in order
Shudders hand stopped short on
its way to the cigarette and he looked
at Smithy as If he couldnt believe
what he saw
To hell with em says he as sav
age as a wildcat and he jabbed the
irons in and whirled his cayuse about
on one toe heading for the ranch
Now you go after him you jealous
old sorehead says I Go on I says
as he started to argue the point or Ill
spread your nose all the way down
your spinal column The only time
to say No to me Is when Im not
meaning what I say so away goes
Wind River and they made it up
all right in no time Well Shadder
had to pull for England to take n
squint at the ancestral estates and all
of us was right here at this station to
see him off Lord it seems as if that
happened last world Well it took
a little bit the edge off any and all
drunks a ranch as an institution had
ever seen before There was old Smithy
crying around wiping his eyes on his
sleeve and explaining to a lot of east
ern folks that it wasnt Shadders
fault gad hook it all no was the
best hootin tootin son-of-a-sea-cook
that ever hit a prairie breeze in spite
of this dum foolishness
They cant make no lord of
Shadder hollers Smithy That is
not for long lies a man Shadder is
aint cher yer d d old gangle
legged hide rack
And Shadder never lost his patience
at all though it must have been kind
of trying to be made Into such a holy
show before the kind of people he
used to be used to All hed say was
Bet your life old boy Well it was
right enough too as Smithy had
nursed him through smallpox one win
ter up in the Shoshonee country and
mighty near starved himself to death
feeding Shadder out of the slim grub
stock when the boy was on the mend
Still some people would have forgot
that
But did your uncle Red get under
the influence of strong drink Did he
Oh my Oh my I wish I could make
it clear to you The vigilantes put
after a horse thief once in Montana
and they landed on him in a butt end
canyon and there was all the stock
with the brands on em as big as a
patent medicine sign as the lad hadnt
had time to stop for alterations
Well says they what have you
got to say for yourself He looked
at them brands staring him in the
face and he bit off a small hunk of
chewing Ptt chay Says he Gentle
men Im at a loss for words And
they let him go as a good joke is
worth its price in any mans country
Im in that lads fix I aint got the
words to tell you how seriously drunk
I was on that occasion I remember
putting for what I thought was the
hotel and settling down thinking there
must bo a lulu of a scrap in the bar
room from the noise Then somebody
gave me t punch in the ribs and says
Wheres your ticket and I dont
know what I said nor what he said
after that but it must have been all
right Then it got light and I met a
lot of good friends I never saw before
nor since Then more noise and trou
ble and at last I woke up in a hotel
bedroom all right but not the one I
was used to I went to the window
heaved her open and looked out It
was a bully morning and I felt Al
There was a nice range of mountains
out in front of mo that must have
come up during the night Id like ta
know where I am I thinks But
somebody will tell me before long
there is no use worrying about that
the main point is have I been touched
I dug down into my jeaiw and there
wasnt a thing of any kind to remem
ber me by No I says to myself I
aint been touched Ive been grabbed
they might have left me the price
of a breakfast Well its a nice look
ing country anyhow So down I
walks to the office A cheerful seem
ing plump kind of a man was sittiug
behind the desk Hello says he
glancing up and smiling as I came in
How do you open up this morning
Somebody saved me the trouble
says I Im afraid Ill have to give
you the strong arm for breakfast
He grinned wide Oh it aint as
bad as that I hardly reckon says he
He dove into a safe and brought out a
cigar box
When a gentlemans in the condi
tion you was in last night he says 1
always make it a point to go through
his clothes and take out anything a
stranger might find useful trusting
that there wont be no offense the next
morning Efcres your watch and the
rest of your valuables including the
cash Count your money and see if
Its right
Well sir I was one happy man
and I thanked that feller as I thumbed
over the bills but when I got up to a
hundred and seventy I begun to feel i
queer Looked like Id made good
money on the trip
What s the matter says he
face Nothing wrong I hope
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arnEKs 35
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Heres your watch and the rent of your
valuables
wny me warcn auaine gun ana
the other things Is all right says I
but Im now 50 to the good even fig
uring that I didnt spend a cent which
aint in the least likely and heres ten
dollar bills enough to make a bed
spread left ovor
PfihawT says he Blame It Ive
mixed your plunder up with the min
ing gentleman that camo in at the
same time You and him was bound
to fight at first and then you both
turned to to lick me and what with
keeping you apart and holding you off
and taking your valuables away from
you all at the same time and me all
alone here as it was the night mans
day off Ive made a blunder of It
Just take your change out of the wad
and call for a drink on me when you
feel like It will you
I said I would do that and more
over that he was an officer and a gen
tleman and that Id stay at his hotel
two weeks at least to show my ap
preciation no matter where it was
j but to satisfy a natural curiosity Id
like to know what part of the country
I was at nrcscnt inhabitlnir
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