f
h
-
OUR PRESIDENTS
stand
And scan the mirror of his life and say
The issue of my effort Is at hand
I reach the summit of success today
For as we dream of bliss that Is to be
Or sorrow for the loss of youths sweet
power
So with success Its light no man may
see
Jt shineth on some spent or misspent
hour
May Austin
Introducing an Old Friend
General Grosvenor the Republican
-war horse of Ohio was billed to speak
1n Pittsburg I
When it was time to introduce the
general the chairman arose and said
Ladies and gentlemen I need hardly
say to you that we are particularly
fortunate tonight in having with us
one of the greatest Republicans of our
Bister state Ohio We are to have the
pleasure of listening to a man whose
name is a household word in ritts
burg who has fought for us the battle
-of protection upon which so much of
material prosperity de
fends You all know him Everybody
in Pittsburg respects and honors him
IHe is our friend His name is on all
our lips Friends I now have the
pleasure of Introducing to you that
sterling patriot that rock ribbed Re
publican that eminent statesman Gen
eral General Gen
The chairman flushed stammered
wiped his forehead nervously and then
blurted General Gossamer of Ohio
Depends on the Yard
English John and Pat were constant
ly tilting each one trying to outwit the
other
Are you good at measurement ask
ed John
I am that said Pat
Then could you tell me how many
abirts I could get out of a yard
Sure It depends on whose yard you
get into Ladies Home Journal
A Case In Point
No man is so bad that there is not
little of the angel left in him said
-the minister
Yes thats so replied the dea
con Remember Spllkins Everybody
thought he was about the worst man
on earth Why his own mother
vvouldnt come to his funeral Well
sir Ive been told a thousand times a
month for the last five years that Spil
felns was the only real saint that ever
lived
My goodness
I married Spllkins widow sorrow
fully continued the deacon
No Cause For Complaint
A young artist in Washington gen
erally makes up for his lack of tech
nique by spreading color recklessly and
counting on distance for the effect At
en amateur exhibition he once hum
eastern
hailed tin
joyous in
it The i -
cyclone Cu
which charg i
jaws the doc -
out After i
and the folks
they found tin
but of no f urthc
farmer surveyed
was a good dog and
Then the foolishness
-
j
RUTHERFORD BIRCHARD HAYES
The nineteenth president of the United States was born In Delaware 0
3n 1S22 and died In Fremont 0 in 1S03 He served through the civil war with
conspicuous ability being bievetted major general for gallant achievements
He was serving his third term as governor of Ohio when he received the Re
publican nomination for president in 1876 The contest with Samuel J Tllden
the Democratic candidate was so close that a special electoral commission
was created to determine the Issue This commission decided that Hayes had
received a majority of one electoral vote After his retirement Hayes became
president of the National Prison association and was also the first president
of the states board for the instruction of freedmen and an active promoter of
education In the south
The
Scrap Book
Wonderfully Made
What makes it fly so asked a lit
tle Boston maiden as her mother brush
ed her hair
It is the electricity Dont you know
that there is electricity in your hair
replied her mother
Well mamma arent we wonderful
ly made Here I am with electricity
-In my hair and grandma has gas in
ilier stomach
SUCCESS I
There is no moment when a man may
one of his most extraordinary per
formances
Well said a friend whom the artist
had taken to see the work I dont
want to flatter you old chap but that
Is far and away the best stuff you have
ever done I congratulate you
The artist was receiving the com
pliment with becoming modesty when
he chanced again to glance at the pic
ture The committee had hung it up
side down Hurrying to the head of
the committee he was about to launch
into a loud complaint when he was in
formed of the good news that an hour
before the picture had been sold for
G1 The original price mark had been
19 Lippincotts
Job Outdone
Sir Henry Hawkins was once pre
siding over a long tedious trial and
was listening apparently with great at
tention to a long winded speech from
a learned counsel After awhile he
made a pencil memorandum folded it
and sent it by the usher to the queens
counsel in question who unfolding
the paper found these words Pa
tience competition Gold medal Sir
Henry Hawkins Honorable mention
Job
The Parable of the Innocent Pup
During the excitement in congress
after the Maine was blown up in Ha
vana harbor Representative McCleary
of Minnesota made a speech in which
he said that the sending of the Maine
to Cuban waters at that time was prac
tically an act of war and that some
such catastrophe might have been ex
pected
The speech was not popular Mc
Cleary was criticised everywhere
Speaker Reed who was in the chair
at the time the speech was made
spoke to Representative Tawney also
of Minnesota about it next day
Jim said Reed whats the matter
with McCleary
Nothing that I know of replied
Tawney
He reminds me said Reed 1 Jrv
Kansas dog that tackled a cv
family from tic iit - tn
sas and thev -
cyciones i
nocent
windier u
along t
clone ce r
J
----a iie
i - Tilll
j vie
-
- - s
- - oiig
-- em
V
ni yJe
i lL dog sjidck
him and he said wrathfully Titre
drat ye Thats what comes of keezia
your mouth open in the face o a
storm
If He Had His Way
Johnnie is the new baby at your
house a boy or a girl
Ma says its a girl but it aint
a goin to be baptized till nest Sunday
an if I have my way about it shell
change her mind before then
Men and Women
Among Men and Women there are
Thorns and Roses No Man likes to
be called a Rose
Among Men and Women there are
Beauties and Beasts No Man likes tc
ha called a
Among Men and Women there are
those who are too sweet for anything
and those who are the reverse No
Man likes to be called too sweet for
anything
Among Men and Women there are
strong minded and weak No Woman
likes to be called strong minded
Among Men and Women there are
Bosses and Bossed No Woman likes
to be called a Boss
Among Men and Women there are
Cats and Mice No Woman likes to
be called a Mouse Lippincotts
Afraid of Himself
Joseph Jefferson the actor once told
this story to a friend
I was coining down in the eleVator
of the Stock Exchange building and
at one of the intermediate floors a man
whose face I knew as well as I know
yours got in He greeted me very warm
ly at once said it was a number of years
since we had met and was very gra
cious and friendly but I couldnt place
him for the life of me I asked him as
a sort of a feeler how he happened to
be in New York and he answered
with a touch of surprise that he had
lived there for several years Finally
I told him in an apologetic way that
I couldnt recall his name He looked
at me for a moment and then he said
very quietly that his name was U S
Grant
What did you do Joe his friend
asked
Do he replied with a Maracter
istic smile Why I vi at the
next floor for fear Id ask him if he
had ever been in the war
Vas Thin Indeed
A fine robust soldier after serving
his country faithfully for some time
became greatly reduced in weight ow
ing to exposure and scanty rations un
til he was so weak he could hardly
stand Consequently he got leave of
absence to go home and recuperate
ne arrived at his home station look
ing very bad Just as he stepped off
the boat one of his old friends rushed
up to him and said Well well Pat I
am glad to see youre back from the
front
Begorra I knew I was getting thin
but I nivver thought you could see
that much replied Pat Ladies
Home Journal
Carnegie Amended
I once gave an interview to a re
porter in which I said that one reason
for whatever success I may have had
was because I always got good men
around me said Andrew Carnegie
A rascally Pittsburg paragraphcr
quoted that remark and moved to
amend it by saying that instead of get
ting good men around me I got around
good men
Didnt Know Many Folks
Artemus Ward was once traveling in
the cars dreading to be bored and feel
ing miserable when a man approached
him sat down and said
Did you hear that last thing on
Horace Greeley
Greeley Greeley said Artemus
Horace Greeley Who is he
The man was quiet about five min
utes Pretty soon he said
George Francis Train is kicking up
a good deal of a row over in England
Do you think they will put him in a
bastile
Train Train George Francis
Train said Artemus solemnly 1
never heard of him
This ignorance kept the man quiet
for about fifteen minutes Then he
said
What do you think about General
Grants chances for the presidency Dc
you think they will run him
Grant Grant Hang it man
said Artemus you appear to know
more strangers than any man I ever
saw
The man was furious He walked
off but at last came back and said
Say did you ever hear of Adam
Artemus looked up and said
Adam Adam What was his oth
er name
One Kind of a Circus
It had been anything but an easy
afternoon for the teacher who took
six of her pupils through the Museum
of Natural History but their enthusi
astic interest in the stuffed animals
and their open eyed wonder at the
prPi5 it fossils amply repaid her
7 Irr s where have you been
1 - ii V asked the father of
jv
r
33S
A-
--
-
-3
Z3T
J
vi
-- Miar evening
i - with joyous
i taclier took us
uti - bodys
J i
sain -v f v
Ar AVasaigzon s
smoke in co nmittoe ro
cow
r
rT2iie
that
ins in
-- ed j
At H
eel
T7nl I
o the
senate itself Often a WaLton or
ator has been known to delher a per
ipatetic speech attending to his cigar
at regular intervals and followed by a
crowd of reporters eagerly taking down
his utterances
Exact justice is commonly more mer
It Is a Good Umbrella
It was a sound substantial umbrella
with a cheery wood stick We found
It hanging on a peg In the corner of
our room In the hotel at Bruges writes
P Such an umbrella could belong
to none but an Englishman and it at
once occurred to us that it had been
left behind by some former passing
visitant- The umbrella was particu
larly Interesting to me because I had
foolishly come away from England
without one I eyed that umbrella as
a small boy eyes a forbidden orchard
The next morning threatened rain and
I could not resist taking the umbrella
tentatively from its peg unrolling it
and displaying Its comfortable tent
like proportions I put it back on
the peg with a sigh and nobly went
out unprotected During the stay in
Bruges my eyes and thoughts return
ed to the umbrella with strong fasc
nation and on the morning of leav
ing the temptation was still more
acute The angels of light and dark
ness struggled within me but the good
one triumphed and we went to the
statlou without the umbrella We left
our luggage in the hotel to be brought
to us at the station by the boots The
Brussels train came in but our lug
gage was missing We look our seats
and at the last moment the boots rush
ed up compensating for want of Eng
lish by a largo smile and dragged our
bags and the umbrella He threw it
in to us and the train departed It is 1
a good umbrella Manchester Guard
ian
The Way to Succeed
Here is a bit of advice that will go
as far as any that was ever paid for
The only way to succeed is to be suc
cessful Doesnt sound very profound
does it It isnt Its about as sim
ple as anything that has ever been
printed and at first sight it may ap
pear idiotic But there is a lot in it
The man who succeeds is the man
who brings to a successful termination
every minute undertaking of every
days activity The successful mans
life is made up of a myriad of suc
cesses If you let one little item of
your days work get by you without
satisfying yourself that you have done
your best ou it you are preparing for
a failure A million treatises on how
to be successful will not help you
The trouble with too many of us is
that we are so busy trying to see a
great success in the future that Ave
cant see the chances for little suc
cesses under our noses Heaven is
not reached at a single bound and
neither is success The only way to
succeed is to be successful It is
worth thinking over St Paul News
The Original Toboggan r
The otter was the original tobogganer
and his slide the lirst of its kind delib
erately chosen Whence came his in
formation I know not Turn if you
can tho leaves of natures wonderful
volume back to the opening chapters
of animal life for information upon
this and countless other curious traits
Maybe the primal otter saw a cube of
ice break from its parent glacier and
go sliding down a polished path to the
sea He may have then tried the feat
himself under the notion that such
sliding was rare good fun for otters
Quien sabe Wherever the otter may
have obtained his idea of sliding he
has neither lost it nor Improved upon
it He slides as his forbears did for
love of sliding but he does not alto
gether depend upon snow and Ice
During i mmer earth slides serve well
enough and these will surely be found
on the banks of streams frequented by
otters Outing
Westminster Abbey Customs
Burial in Westminster abbey is not
of course a question of money but
there are certain fees charged for in
terment within that ancient pile For
merly the fees amounted to 150 or
100 Dean Stanley introduced many
reforms in the scale of charges with
the result that the maximum cost is
now 111 4s 2d It may however be
20 less The variations In the cost
arise in connection with the contribu
tion demanded for the fabric fund
which is 26 or 3G or 4G according to
the place of interment Other items in
the bill are 34 2s 2d for fees to the
dean canons choir and vergers and
31 2s on account of silk scarfs hat
bands and gloves to the clergy choir
and vergers which were formerly pro
vided by the undertaker and charged
in his account Westminster Gazette
Grounds For Suspicion
The artist came in and seated him
self with a foreign and unaccustomed
air a slight something of liaut in-
WOK1L
lh
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j
SU
ought
L
ftM I
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llJ 1 10
i o Tj
iu
si
u
speiiu
Is
I wo
conserv
that crir
some quaiiv
crd he hegan
4 and toll me
ted l z the
njf
h
ij
i
r THi1M 1JL
tfei
e
r
lilU
lj
7 t
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en
- to
cave
of
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it
He
rhe
or
CITY LODGE DIRECTORY
A P A A 51
McCook LoiIko No IM A F A M iiioeto
ovory llritauil third Tuoluy of tho mouth at
800 p in in Masonic hull
ClIAIlLLH L FaUXKHTOCK V M
Lon Cone Sec
DEUUKKOF IIONOU
McCook Lodge No 3 D of II meets ovory
etcoiul and forth Fridujs of ouch mouth at 800
p in iu Uantcliows hall
Mus Lauka OsuuitK C of II
Mm MatikG Wulmch Hec
KAGILH
McCook Aerio No 1514 F O K meets tho
second and fourth WeduoMlnjs of oach month
at iiU imiu Gaiifccliows hull Social meut
liiKS on tho llrst and third WodnuMlujs
V II Cummins V Pros
II P rETEiusov See
kastuin mtau
Etirokn Chapter NV b0 O K S moots tho
second and fourth Fnduj of each mouth at
iM p in in Masonic hall
Mits bAKAii E Kay V M
SVLVESTEU UOUDKAL Sec
o a i
J K Karnes Post No 1207 G A It meets on
tint llrst Saturday ot eacli mouth at 2110 p in
Ganschows halt
J M HbXDHKHON Cmndr
J II Yakger Adjt
KNIGHTS OK COIUMliUH
McCook Council No Uio K of C meets tho
first and third Tucrdujs of each mouth at00
p in iu Uanschoub hall
C J Hyan G K
r G Lechleitei F Sec
KNIGHTS OP PYTHIAS
McCook LoiIko No -12 K of P meets over
Wednesday atbOO p in m Mnsouic hall
J F CoiidealC C
C V Baunes K II S
KNIGHTS TBMlLAR
St John Commander No 15 K T meets ou
the second Thursday ot oach month at bU0 p
iu iu Masonic hall
Kmekhon Hanson E C
Sylvester Cokueai Hec
LADY MACCAIIKKS
Valley Queen Hive No L O T M meets
ever lirst and third lluirdaj uteuiuKs of each
month iu hall
Mis W li Mims Commander
Harriet E Wiliktts K K
LOCOMOTIVE ENGINEERS
McCook Division No Citf 15 of L E meets
over llrst and third Saturday of each month nt
b 00 iu Berrys hall
W C Scheack C E
W D Burnett F A E
LOCOMOl I VE FI REM EN
McCook Lodge No 599 B of L F E
meets every Saturday at 800 p m iu Unus
chows hall
W It Pennington M
W S Bixler Sec
MACHINISTS
Red Willow Lodtu No I7 I A of M meets
every second nud fourth Tuesday of tho mouth
atiJ00 p in iu Gausuhow hall
I O Hewitt Pres
W II Anderson Itec Sec
MODELN WOODMEN
Nohle Camp No COM M V A meets every
and fourth 1 Imr diy of each mouth ai
ii0 p m in Gauschows hall
John Hunt V C
Barney Hober Clerk
ODD FELLOWS
McCook Lodge No IM I O O F meets over
Monday a IS 00 p in iu Janschow s hall
E II Doan N G
Scott Doan Sec
p k o
Chapter X P E O meets tho second and
fourth Satnrdajs of each month at 230 p m
at tho homes of the various members
Mrs C W Britt Pres
Mrs J G Sciioijel Cor Sec
RAILWAY CONDUCTORS
Harvey Division No 9 O It C meets tho
second and fourth Miudajs of each mouth at
00 p in in Diamond- hall
Joe Hegenberger C Con
M O McClure Sec
RAILWAY TRAINMEN
C W Bronson Iotlgu No -1ST B
meets ovory Friday at 800 p m
of It T
in Berrys
hall
II V Conover M
F J Huston Sec
WORKMEN
McCook Lodco No 01 AOUW meets every
Monday at8C0 p in in Diamonds hall
Web Stephens M W
C B Gray Itec
K A M
KinKCrus Chapter Xor It A M meets
every first and third Thursday of each month at
800 p m iu Masouic hall
Clarence B Gray II P
Clinton B Saa yer Sec
ROYAL NEIGHBORS
Noble Camp No 8tJ2 It N A moots every
second and fourth Thursday of each month at
230 p m iu Ganchows hall
Mrs Mary Walker Oracle-
Mrs Augusta Anton Itec
n s m
Council NolGRSSMmrets on
the last Saturday of each mouth atS00 p m
iu Masonic hall
Ralph A Hagberg T I M
Syvlestee Coedeal Sec
w o w
Meets second and fourth Thursdays at 8
oclock in Diamonds hall
Ciias F Maekwad C
W C Moyer Clerk
Secretary Wilson of tho department
of agriculture says that the unbounded
prosperity of the agriculturist is not due
to chance but is the result of intelli
gent scientific business methods A
reader of The Weekly Inter Ocean has
placed before him each week the prac
tical and approved methods to which
Secretary Wilson refers It is a good
investment Only 31 2d for The Weekly
Inter Ocean a c1 tl vone year
J -- n e
f
rrst -
- D IetiH
ciful in the long run than pity for it Self forgetfulness in love lor others
tends to foster In men those stronger has a foremost place in the ideal cnar
qualltles which make them good citi acter and represents the true end of
zens Lowell jumanity Peabody
io
m McCoCrti
r NT FOR
ELEBRATED
ryHanchett
vVindmil
This is a warranted and guaran
teed windmill nothing better in
the market Write or call on Mr
T Ball before buying
PH0NEIBLACK 307
Fred Wiggins
Auctioneer
S 1000
LADIES
Ask your
DIAMON
TIMK
TRIED
Will cry your
silo any tiino
nnywhuro
Bills poHted
in tho Sappy
country Tin
cupsfumlshd
fjr your freo
lunch without
extra charge
Terms 810
for first 31000
or loss 1 por
ct on all snlos
i tinning over
AH dates nud by
The Danbtiry News
DrHerbertJPratt
Registered Graduate
st
Otlice over McConnells Drug Store
MCCOOK NEB
Telephone Ollice 100 residence lil
Former location Atlanta Georgia
Vk M VStobM1
GAPT BARRETT
IMCACTICAL
Architect
and Builder
Repairing and Remodeling
Buildings a Specialty
P McCOOK - NEBRASKA
A Shop Phonul j
EFOSBORN
J W WENTZ
OSBORN WENTZ
Draymen
Prompt Serice
Courteous Treatment
Reasonable Prices
GIVE US A TRIAL
DIAMOND
GO
m
P
ifs 030 B fl
rs a rnjus
BRAND
Sttf
fefc
IrriKKNt for A
0 liKAND PILLS in Km ind
Gold metallic
Ribbon
IirUEJjIst
boxes scaled with Blue0
Take io oiiier Ttuy oF yourT
onl mk for V
DIAJIOXI BUASU 1IITS for twenty fiva
jfui3 icjjarucu us iiaiD3iir c Always Kcuaoie
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS
EVERYWHERE SS
A t j fc fc fc 6 Ej
SeenjE
BeliBYiiiff
If you will figure with U3 and
quality of material s anv object
you will be easily convinced that
we out class all competition
BARWSTT
I IIMnFP P
tV T
Gr
V V J
txw M MM
mm
je of Quality
and Quantity where
W G BOLLARD
sells THE BEST LUM
BER AND COAL
V Are you thinking of
building If so it is cen
to one our figures will
please you
M O McCLURE
Phone No 1 Manager
Li
VI
M