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Red Saunders
By
HENRY WALLACE PHILLIPS
COPYIUGHT 1002 DY McCLURE PHILLIPS ty COMPANY
niMIMICI rinl last wiik
l inntio one more bad break on the
home Irlp
Jonesy will be powerful glad to
Fee you says I
Jonesy nays she surprised
Jonesy Oh Is that what you call
Uucle Albert
Well it does sometimes happen
that way says I and then my autl
George Washington blood rose again
You see he was kind of lonesome out
there at Unit and wo took to calling
hlin Jonesy lo cheer him up and make
lilm feel at home r says
Oh says she And I reckon she
didnt feel o horribly awful about it
for afler looking straight toward the
gulf of Mexico for a minute suddenly
she bust right out and hollered It
seems that Jones cut a great deal of
grass to a swipe when he was back
homo in his own street Its astonish
ing how little of a man it takes to do
that in the east We had an argument
once on the subject Its intellect does
it says Silver Tompkins Oh thats
it ehV sajs Wind Uiver Smith Well
Im glad Im not troubled that way
Id rather have a forty four chest than
a No 8 head any day you can find in
the almanac And Im Avith Smithy
This knowing so much it makes j ou
eick aint any better than being so
healthy you dont know nothing be
sides being square miles less fun An
other thing about the eastern folks is
theyre so sot in their views and it
dont matter to them whether the
facts bear out their idees or not
Here take a cigar sajs one of
the board of directors to me a little
fat old man who had to draw in his
breath before he could cross his legs
them cigarettes 11 ruin your health
says he Mind you he was always
kicking and roaring about his liver or
stummick or some of his works Im
a little over six foot three In my boots
when I stand up straight and I stood
up straight as the Lord would let me
and gazed down at that little man
Pardner says I I was raised on
cigarettes When I was two years old
I used to have a pull at the bottle
and then my cigarette to aid digestion
It may be conceit on my part I says
but Id rather be a wreck like me
than a prize lighter like you Theyre
queer Youd think that thnt little fat
man would have noticed the difference
without my pointing it out to him
Well I dont have to mention that
Loys stirred things up considerable
around the Chanta Seechee and vicin
ity Gee What a diving into wanne
gans and a fetching out of good
clothes there was And trading of
useful coats and things for useless but
decorating silk handkerchers and
things And what a hair cutting and
whisker trimming
But Kyle was the man from the go
in And it was right it should be so
If ever two young people were born
to make trouble for each other it was
Kyle and Loys
A nice decent fellow was Kyle
Nothing remarkable you could say
and that was one of his best points
Howsomever he had a head that
could do plain thinking a pair of
ehoulders that discouraged frlvoling
and he was as square a piece of fur
niture as ever came out of a factory
Moren that he had quite a little edu
cation saved his money never got
more than good natured loaded and
he could ride anything that had four
legs from sawhorse to old tiger
Buck who would kick your both feot
out of the sturrups and reach around
and bite you in the small of the back
so quick that the boys would be pulling
his front hoofs out of your frame be
fore youd realize that the canter had
begun Nice horse Buck lie like to
eat Jonesy up one morning before
Silver and me could get to the corral
Lord the sounds made my blood run
cold Old Buck squealing like a boar
pig in a wolf trap and Jonesy yell
ing llelp Murder Police Even
that did not cure Jones from sticking
his nose where it wasnt wanted
Why once But thunder it would
take me a long while to tell you all
that happened to Jones
One thing that didnt hurt Kyle
any in the catnpnign was that he was
she was for a woman They made a
pair to draw to I tell you loping over
the prairie full of health and young 1
ness You wouldnt want to see a
for Loys to be moseying back to col 1
lege again
Then Kyle took me Into his confi
dence I never was less astonished In
my whole life and I didnt tell him
so Well what are you going to do
about It says I
He kind of groaned and shook his
head I dunno says he Do you
think she likes me Red I felt like
saying Well If you aint got all the
traits but the long ears I miss my
guess but I made allowances and
says I Well about that I dont think
I ought to say anything Still If I had
only one eye left I could see plain
that her educations finished She dont
want any more college that girl dont
Think not says he bracing up
And then by and by they went out to
ride for Jonesy was good to the girl
Ill say that for him no was willing
to do anything for her in reason ac
cording to his views But Kyle wasnt
In them views he was out of the pic
ture as far as husbands went
They came back at sunset when
the whole world was glowing red the
sanw as they were I reached for the
field glasses and took a squint at
them There was no harm in thit
for they were well behaved young
folks One look at their faces was
enough There were three of us In
the bull pen Bob and Wind River
Smith and myself Wed brought up
a herd of calves from Nanleys ranch
and Ave were taking It easy Boys
says I under my breath theyve made
the rillle
No says they and then everybody
had to take a pull at the glasses
Well Im glad says Smithy and
darn my buttons if that old hardshells
voice didnt shake Theyre two of as
nice kids as youd find in many a
weary day says he And I wish em
all the luck in the world
So do I says I and I really think
the best we could do for em would be
to shoot Jones
Man Wont he sizz says Bob
And you cant blame us old codgers if
we had a laugh at that although it
was such a powerful serious matter to
the youngsters
Lets go out and meet em says I
And away we went They werent a
particle surprised I suppose they
thought the whole universe had stop
ped to look on We pump handled
away and laughed and Loys she
laughed kind of teary and Kyle he
looked red In the face and proud and
happy and ashamed of himself and
we all felt loosened up considerable
but I told him on the quiet Take that
fool grin off your face unless you want
Uncle Jones to drop the moment he
sees you
Now they only had three days left
to get an action on them as that was
the time set for Loys to go back to
college
Next day they held a council be
hind the big barn and they called in
Uncle Red otherwise known as Big
Red Saunders or Chanta Seechee Red
which means Bad JEfeart Red in Sioux
lied youre a brick Youre the best
fellow alive saus Kijlc
language and doesnt explain me by a
for a man as cairn signt to gee xne uenent oi ma
valuable advice
Skip says I Fly for town and
get married and come back and tell
Jonesy about it Its a pesky sight
prettier sight than thev made and you stronger argument to ten mm wnat
could see it at any time for they you have done than what youre going
were together whenever it was to do
fole Lovs was so happy it made you They couldnt quite agree with that-
feel like n boy again to see her She They thought it was sneaky
So it is I The first art of
told me in private that it Tvas wonder- says
ful how the air out here aereed with war is understanding how to make a
her and I said it was considered
mighty bracing and never let on that
they proclaimed their state of mind
every time they looked at each other
K reckon old Smart Aleck Jonesy was
the only party in the township who
didnt understand Kyle used to put
vinegar in his coffee and things like
that and If youd ask him Whats
that fellows name that runs the cloth
ang store in town hed come out of
his trance and say Yes and smile
very amiable to show that he thor
oughly admitted you were right
Well things went as smooth and
easy as bobsleddinz until it came time
grand sneak If you dont want to
take my advice you can wait That
didnt hit em just right either
What -will we wait for says Kyle
Exercise and the kind you wont
take when you get as old and as sen
sible as me Youre taking long
chances both of you but its just like
playing cards you might as well put
ail your money on the first turn win
or lose as to try and play system
Systems dont work in faro nor love af
fairs nor any ottier game of chance
Be gone Put your marker on the
grand raffle In other words take the
first horse to town andget married
fir
wsweeasmiatSiSSfeSSair stwawvNesw
Ten chances to oncTTonesywnniavetlio
laugh on you before the year Is out
I dont think you are a bit nice to
day Red says Loys
Hes jealous says Kyle
Thats what I am young man
says I If I had ten years off my
shoulders and a little of the glow off
my hair Id give you a run for your
alley that would leave you breathless
at the wind up
I think your hair Is a beautiful
color Red says Loys Many a wo
man would like to have it
Of course they would I answered
But they dont get it Im foxy 1
am Still I was touched in a tender
spot That young woman knew just
the right tiling to rjj bv nature
Weil what are you young folks going
to do I asked them
They decided that theyd think it
over until next dav but that turned
out to be too late for what must Kyle
do but get chucked from his horse and
have his leg broke near the hip You
dont want to take any love affairs
on to the back of a bad horse now you
mark me There was no such tiling
as downing that boy when lie was in
his right mind
Now here was a hurrah Loys she
dasnt cry for fear of uncle and Kyle
he used the sinfulest language known
to the tongue of man Twas the first
time Id ever heard him say anything
much but he made it clear that It
wasnt because he couldnt
What will we do Red What will
wo do sajs he
Now says I dont bile over like
that because its bad for your leg
He cussed tie leg
Go on and tell me what we can
3o says he
When you ask me that youve
pulled the right bell says I
Ill tell
you exactly what well do I go for
the doctor Savvy Well I bring
back the minister at the same time
Angevine h loses the Jersey cpw over
in the canebreak and uncle and Ange
vine go hunting her for not even Loys
is ace high In uncles mind alongside
that cow The rest is easy
Red youre a brick Youre the
best fellow alive says Kyle nearly
squeezing the hand off me
Ive tried to conceal it all my life
but I knew it would be discovered
some day says I Well I suppose Id
better break the news to Loys
Twouldnt be any more than polite
Oh Lord I wonder if shell be
willing says he
No reason I shouldnt turn an hon
est dollar on the transaction Ill bet
you a months wages she is says I
He wanted to do it thinking I was in
earnest but I laughed at him
She was willing all right even
anxious Theres some women and
men too for that matter Avho go
through life like a cat through a back
alley not caring a cuss for either end
or the middle They would have been
content to wait Not so Loys She
wanted her Kyle- her poor Kyle and
she wanted him quick Thats the
kind of people for me Your cautious
folk are all the time falling down
wells because their eyes are up in the
air keeping tabs so that they can
dodge shooting stars
Now I had a minister friend up in
town Father Slade by name No he
was not a Catholic I think They
called him father because it fitted
him His church had a steeple on it
anyhow so it was no maverick Just
what particular kind of religion the
old man had I dont know but I should
say he was a homeopath on a guess
He looked it Twas a comfort to see
him coming down the street his old
face shining in his white hair like a
shriveled pink apple in a snowdrift
God blessing everything in sight good
bad or Indifferent He had something
pleasant to say to all We was quite
friends and every once in awhile wed
have a chin about things
Are you keeping straight Red
hed ask when we parted
T7m Tl cn ir Im ifVnrl rnuM
tice a bend here and there if you slid
your eyes along the edge
Well keep as straight as you can
dont give up trying my boy hed
tell me mighty earnest and Id feel
ashamed of myself clear around the
corner
I knew the old man would do me
a favor if it could be done so I pulled
out easy in my mind
First place I stopped at the doc
tors because I felt they might lix
up the marrying business some other
time but if a leg thats broke in the
upper joint aint set right you can see
a large dark complected hunk of trou
ble over the partys left shoulder for
the rest of his days The doctor was
out so I left word for him what was
wanted and to be ready when I got
back and pulled for Father Slades
The old gentleman had the rheuma
tism and he groaned when I come in
Rheumatisms no disease for people
who cant swear
now are you my boy says he
Im glad to see you Here am I an old
man nipped by the leg and much
wantingto taXc to somebody
I passed the time of day to him
but felt kind of blue This didnt look
like keeping my word with the kids
I really hated to say anything to the
old man knowing his disposition still
I felt I had to and I out with my
storv
continued next week
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