J - M Vc l The best of every thing in his line at the most reasonable prices is Harshs motto He wants your trade and hopes by merit to keep it kw7b n Minl - - WrT II I B IMIItl III1U J I UrtLL muuuun AGENT FOR THE CELEBRATED Fairbury Hanehett Windmill This is a warranted and guaran teed windmill nothing better in the market Write or call on Mr IV 11 1 UU1U1U UUI IUE - PHONEIBLACK 307 Mike Wals III DEALER IN POULTRY and EGGS Old Rubber Copper and Brass Highest Market Price Paid in Cash Now location just across street in P Walsh building flcCook - Nebraska F D BURGESS Plumber and Steam Fitter Iron Lead and Sewer Pipe Brass Goods Pumps an Boiler Trimmings Estimates Furnished Free Base ment of the Postoffice Building McCOOK NEBRASKA A few doses of this remedy will in variably cure an ordinary attack of diarrhoea It can always be depended upon even in the more severe attacks or cramp colic and cholera morbus It is equally successful for summer diarrhoea and cholera infantum in children and is the means of saving the lives of many children each year When reduced with water and sweetened it is pleasant to take Every man of a family should keep this remedy in his home Buyitnow Price 25c Large Size 50o M B i i - t ui The Butcher Phone 12 E Mllsijn rt rM Mb ft I ft 8 IB h GOT HIS SHIRTS Comical Prank a Princeton Student Played Upon a Tutor In Princeton Old and New by James W Alexander Is the following story The mode of life was simpler in those days than now but the same hu mor which still makes collegians so comic effervesced in the old days When for example William Penning ton son of a former governor of New Jersey and himself afterward speaker of the national house of representa tives roomed next door to Senior Tu tor Topping it was the custom for each man to hang on the outside knob of his door the bag containing his soil ed clothes for the laundry Penninirton stuffed his own skirts one day in Tutor Toppings bag and waited for the day when the clean lin en was returned and laid out on Top pings bed Then knowing that two of the younger tutors were in Top pings room Pennington knocked at his door On entering he put on an embarrassed air as if hesitating to speak In the presence of the other tu tors Topping in a lofty way said These gentlemen are my friends I have no secrets from them Say what you wish Pennington still hemmed and hawed but again urged to speak blurt ed out It Is not my fault Mr Top ping I did not want to say anything about It now but as you insist I must ask you to please return the skirts I lent you as I am in need of them Toppings rage and horror at being thus addressed before the younger tu tors who looked up to him as a Mag nus Apollo may well be imagined He began to upbraid Pennington who In terrupted him by saying Its no use Mr Topping trying to deny the fact I see the shirts there on the bed with your own things The tutor stood aghast but Pennington stepped to the bed and picked out his own shirts marked with his name ST LOUIS GOLD MINE Traces of the Metal Once Found With in the City Limits St Louis bas never been known as -a gold mining center but there was once a gold mine within the limits of the city and what is more it yielded gold which is more than a great many gold mines in the Rockies have done In the sixties of the last century there was a well dug on a hill just east of Carondelet park and the well diggers noticing some bright spar kling yellow particles In the clay at the bottom did a little hashing on their own account and found several grains of gold in the pan The news soon got abroad and two ex miners from the west who were living in the neighborhood quickly got the idea that there was money to be made in St Louis gold mining so they sank a shaft not far from the well fully expecting rich returns from their work They did actually find gold but in quanti ties so small that they estimated a vleld of about 15 cents per ton of clay so they filled up the hole and gave up the undertaking in that place as a bad job But they had all the miners enthu siasm and the fact that they found gold at all merely stimulated their zeal to try in another place so they went to the side of a hill where the Glaize creek had washed away the earth and made a clay precipice They dug a hole there where they also found traces of the nrecious metal but in no greater quantities than before Then they went up the creek about a quarter of a mile and sank another shaft with no better result They spent the whole spring and summer digging holes around in the neighborhood of the park but the only benefit they realized from their work was the sobriquet two luna tics and people laughed at them so much that both left and went back west where digging holes in the search for golC was taken more seriously than In St Louis St Louis Globe-Democrat Theater Seats The seats were in the orchestra on the theaters left The left side of the house always sells out first said the box office man Everybody seems to prefer it to the right I dont know why Boxes especially we can sell two left to one right box every time Nobody takes the right side for choice And there is no reason for this As much goes on In the right extremity of the stage as In the left we proprietors always look after that and you see just as much from the right as from the left side Why then is the left side always at a premium New Or leans Times Democrat The Name Bismarck Few people know how Bismarck and his ancestors got their name Bis marck is the name of one of those ancient castles a short distance from Stendal on the road from Cologne to Berlin in the center of the old mar quisate of Brandenburg The castle had this name because it defended the marca or the line where the river Biese formed a boundary in former times or mark of defense against in truders hence the name of Bismarck When Greek Meets Greek Gracious my dear said the first society belle I do hope youre not ill you look so much older tonight Im quite well thank you dear re plied the other And you how won derfully improved you are You look positively young Philadelphia Press Facts are Gods arguments We should be careful never to misunder stand or pervert them Edwards Nothing is so new as what has long been forgotten German Proverb FRANK MINfSTER WU The Shrewd Chinese Diplomat and Hli interesting Ways The return of Wu Ting Fang to this country as the representative of tut Chinese emperor has been ascribed ic part to the popularity lie achieved wltli the American people and cspeclallj with the American press Althougb he Is not of very high rank and has not held other diplomatic posts of flrsl Importance he won a reputation while in America before as a diplomat of nc mean ability Ills course during the Boxer insurrection especially commend ed 1dm to the government and people of this country as a man of force char acter and integrity His sense of hu mor has often been a help to Ministei Wu and has sometimes helped him out of embarrassing situations The Celestial diplomat takes aftei the late LI Hung Chang in being a good questioner lie is sometimes In- WU TING FANG quisitive too in respect to matters which Americans generally regard as their private affairs Unmarried wo men are usually afraid of him He Invariably asks them why they dont get married If he meets a married woman he asks her how many chil dren she has and if she has none at all he expresses surprise and wants to know the reason One day during his previous service at Washington Minister Wu was visited by a news paper correspondent who seemed to re gard himself as a great man Before he had learned anything whatever from the minister the latter was ply ing him with his usual questions When the query as to the amount of his weekly stipend was put the corre spondent heaved up his chest stroked his mustache with pride and prepared to astonish the simple Celestial One hundred and fifty dollars a week he exclaimed It is too much came quick as a shot from the ministers lips it is altogether too much You are not worth more than 25 a week Later on by dint of cross examina tion of other newspaper men Mr Wu learned that his 150 a week visitor had prevaricated to the extent of about 90 the week The next time this gen tleman called at the legation and sent his card to the minister he was ac corded an audience but the first thing the minister said to him was You lied to me about your salary If you will lie about such a thing as that you will lie about anything I do not trust you I have nothing to tell you I want to revise my former esti mate of your value Instead of beiu j worth 25 a week you are not worth anything sir Good day CARDINAL VANNUTELLI Italian Prelate Now on a Visit to the United States One of the most learned and eminent of the cardinals of the Roman Catho lic church Is the Italian ecclesiastic who will preside at the fourth eucha ristic congress of that church In Pitts burs Cardinal Vincenzo Vannutelli The congress will be in session from Oct 15 to 17 and will attract national s SMS i j CARDINAL VINCENZO VANNUTELLI interest Cardinal Vannutelli has just come from Metz where he was papal delegate to a similar congress The cardinal was born in 1S315 and was invested with the scarlet robe which marks a prince of the church In 1SS9 He belongs to an old Roman family and is a brother of the Cardinal Perafino Vannutelli who was promi tently mentioned as the successor of ho late Pope Leo XIII STAGE FRIGHT Actors Have Been Known to Dlo From the Malady rerhnps the most terrible malady which can attack the actor in the course of his performance In the pe culiar discrete known ns stage fright Through its evil effects strong men and women have been known to faint break down and do many other queer things and there are even on record several cases of people who have died through this horrible seizure Some years ago a young novice who was to appear for the first time ar rived at the theater very white and shaky Brandy being given him he appeared slightly better but no sooner had he set his foot on the stage than he clapped his hand to his heart with a low cry and fell down dead The overwhelming sensation Induced by stage fright had attacked his heart and his theatrical career ended thus even at its beginning Quite as ghastly was the case of the young amateur actress who strangely enough had never experienced stage fright when playing with her fellow amateurs but who was seized with the attack on making her first professional appearance She went through the scene aided by the prompter her eyes glazed her hands rigid and when the exit came it proved her exit from lifes stage as well as the mimic boards for she staggered to her dressing room and fell into a comatose state from which she never recovered Ferhaps however the most peculiar Instance of all was that of the veteran performer who had gone through thirty years of stage work without experienc ing this malady One night however he confided to a fellow player that a quite unaccountable nervousness had suddenly taken hold of him and that ho did not think he could ever act again His comrade laughed at the notion and urged him to go on as usual but his astonishment may well be conceiv ed when the poor old player went on the stage and after making several vain efforts to speak fell back and ex pired The doctor who made the post mortem examination stated that death was due to failure of the hearts action evidently induced by the presence of an attack of stage fright Pearsons Weekly TYBURN TREE Lord Ferrers Tragic Journey to the Famous Old Gallows Park lane was Tyburn lane and it seems as if the gallows described in an old document as movable at one time stood at its east corner It was there the ferocious Lord Ferrers was huns in 17G0 for murdering his serv ant Ilorace Walpoles words paint the picture well lie shamed heroes He bore the solemnity of a pompous and tedious procession of above two hours from the Tower to Tyburn with as much tranquillity as if he were only going to his own burial not to his own execution And when one of the dragoons of the procession was thrown from his horse Lord Ferrers expressed much concern and said I hope there will be no death today but mine On went the procession with a mob about it sufficient to make its progress slow and laborious Small wonder that the age of Thackeray with Thack erays help set up its scaffolds within four high walls Asking for drink Lord Ferrers was refused for said the sheriff late regulations enjoined him not to let prisoners drink while pass ing from the place of imprisonment to that of execution great indecencies having been committed by the drunk enness of the criminals in the hour of execution And though said he my lord I might think myself excusable in overlooking this order out of regard to your lordships rank yet there is an other reason which I am sure will weigh with you your lordship is sen sible of the greatness of the crowd we must draw up at some tavern the confluence would be so great that it would delay the expedition which your lordship seems so much to de sire But decency so often paraded by those who outrage it ended with the murderers death The execution ers fought for the rope and the one who lost it cried the greatest tragedy to his thinking of the day London Sketch When to Lift Your Hat In answer to the question Please tell when and where are or is the cor rect time for a gentleman to lift or re move his hat we reply Without con sulting authorities of etiquette in fact giving It to you offhand so to speak we should say at the following times and on the following occasions re spectively the hat should be lifted or removed as circumstances indicate When mopping the brow when taking a bath when eating when going to bed when taking up a collection when having the hair trimmed when being shampooed when standing on the head Wichita Kan Beacon A Curious Anomaly Until a few years ago the Philippine Islanders held their Sunday on the day which was Monday to the inhabitants of the neighboring island of Borneo This curious anomaly arose from the historic fact that the Philippines were discovered by Spanish voyagers com ing from the east round Cape Horn while Borneo was discovered by Por tucruese coming from the west and sail ors lose or gain a day according to their direction in crossing the Paciflc His Title Papa said little Tames what do they call a man who writes comic operas a composer No my son the old man answered he is usually called a plagiarist Los Angeles Times SSiSfS FENNEY fc WALKER General Contracting Painters and Decorators Not How Cheap but How Good with Us Office and Shop west of Fitst National Bank Leave Orders witn u woouwonn x company V FRANKLIN PRESIDENT A U tBtKI UABHItK JAS S DOYLE Vice President THE CITIZENS BANK OF McCOOK NEB B Paid Up Capital 50000 Surplus 1 2000 B H B DIRECTORS rz V FRANKLIN JAS S DOYLE Monogram A C EBERT 9rtWMVWtW1sWA A BOY OR A GIRL CAN EARN AS MUCH AS A MAN Wo want bova and girls who want to earn money to solicit subscriptions to tjio Kansab City Weekly Star Dont hesitate bccaiibo you aro young as oil can tiio work as readily as an older person and we will pay you just the same The Kansay City Weakly Star is the best Icnowu weekly newspaper m the uest and Jour spare tune spo t workiiiK for it will pay you handsomely not in toys watches or other small wares but in cash Write today for terms and full information Address jhE WEEKLY STAR Kansas City Mo DafcOG sXSs All the Same to this bank is treated Every man woman or child who comes courteously and his or her business is attended to to the best of our ability Wo want your business because we know wo can serve you well anu to our mutual advantage t If you transact your business here you aro assured of the friendly interest of our bank and its officers Our customers have our first consideration wmBMmMMi First National Bank flcCook ts Make your friend a birthday present of some tationery We have an excellent line of samples from which you can choose embossed in one or two colors or in bronze or gold any letters or combination of letters Call and see samples of the monograms and stock The TRIBUNE Office negaBWlBP1 si 1 1 iMONETf f I -- I 1 VTSf i 1 No better or safer 1 1 ttfiKSL fcakitfs 1 I HfLJI IWVLjOimi i in a Stock Certificate of the McCook Building Loan Association investment is open to you An investment of ioo per month for 120 months will earn So nearly 9 percent compounded annually Dont delay but see the secretary today Subscriptions r e ceived at any time for the new stock just opened 0 1 mam mw