R
M
V
DR R J GUNK
DENTIST p i
Office Booms 3 and 5 Walsh Blk McCoofc
fBftr40hilVlV4
KCUmPy
IW
KF
Barber Shop
Hear of ist National Hank
ITewly Furnished
2g and First Class In Every
Earl Murray
Middleton Ruby
PLUMBING and
STEAM PITTING
All work guaranteed
Phone 182 McCook Nebraska
JOHN E KELLEY
ATTORNEY AT LAW and
BONDED ABSTEACTEB
McCook Nebraska
BSAgent of Lincoln Land Co and of McCook
Wator Works Offlco in PoBtofllco building
YOU WOULD DO WELL TO SEE
J M Rupp
FOR ALL KINDS OF Rpfok Qp
P O Box 131 McCook Nebraska
McCook Laundry
Q C HECKMAN Prop
Dry and Steam Cleaning and
Pressing
GATEWOOD VAHUh
DENTISTS
Office oyer McAdams Store Phone 1 90
Z Earn More
Business And Short
hand Connsa tiucht
by Mast Experiencid Taichers in tho west
Positions for graduates Work for Board Help
for dsserrinr students Address
Mogner Lampman College
Information tne 1700 rrnam St Omaha mis
k
W ft
I The Security Abstract g
1 and Realty Company I
FOR LOA1TS AUD IHSURAKCE
Hi
V Farms Wild Lands and City
Property at owners prices
Hji Properties of non residents W
looked after Write for j
Sg mation
xtb W C MOYER Mgr
Great
Lumber and Goal
Center
Home of Quality
and Quantity where
W C BOLLARD
sells THE BEST LUM
BER AND COAL
Are you thinking of
building If so it e cen
to one our figures will
please you
M O McCLUEE
Phone No 1 Manager
Dr Herbert J Pratt
Registered Graduate
Dentist
Office over McConnells Drag Store
McCOOK NEB
Telephones Office 160 residence 131
Former location Atlanta Georgia
AfefeV
CAPT BARRETT
PRACTICAL
Architect
and Builder
Repairing and Remodeling
Buildings a Specialty
McCOOK - NEBRASKA
Shop Phono 324
TRICKS OFTHE TVPES
Wicked Deeds Done by the imp
of the Perverse
AMUSING ERRORS IN PRINT
Examples of What Is Liable to Happen
When tho Compositor Blunders or
When the Usually Alert and Care
ful Proofreader Nods
Sometimes the proofreader nods and
in this connection the late Lord
Goschen told at a public dinner a story
of a reader who worked for his Lord
doscbens grandfather and who In
answer to a denunciation from his em
ployer cried
Let some other man work at cor
rectness of typography I despair My
own thoughts often hinder me as they
seize and hold the authors otherwise
than they ought to do It is quite pos
sible that niggling about words and
syllables may often go to the wall
when my soul cannot tear itself loose
from some thought or picture Errors
have been found in sheets which I
thought I had worked backward and
forward with the greatest particular
ity I read always as it should be
It is when a reader Is in this soulful
condition that the general public are
permitted to read as they did once
In a morning paper not given to humor
that a celebrated politician in a
speech described some one as sitting
at the feet of the game bird of Bir
mingham instead of Gamaliel In
the same journal too the following
startling announcement appeared un
der the heading of Births
NICHOLSON On tho 12th Inst at Bel
ton road SIdcup the son of Alfred Nich
olson of a daughter
In another newspaper a most pathet
ic account appeared of a doctor who
died owing to having accidentally In
fected himself whfie injecting some
plague virus into a gnat The mys
tery was solved the nest day when an
apology was printed explainting that
the word should have been rat
Come over and try some new
Eoup a lady novelist did not write
songs was the word It is a sickly
kopje of the real article was perhaps
excusable It appeared In a paper
during the Boer war
These mistakes are curious enough
but they pale into insignificance before
some of those that never reach the
printed sheet
Cold milk father once demanded
a compositor In cold type and he was
aggrieved to have to alter it to Caed
mllle fall the Brer Fox was made
Boer Fox that was also during the
South African war
On a hot summers day another tired
typesetter turned The Ides of March
into The Idea of Work
In a sermon a celebrated divine was
made to say And they erected a ma
rine store at the mouth of the sepul
cher Massive stone were the cor
rect words
Abbreviations are at times the bane
of the compositor but he had no ex
cuse in setting up in an account of a
Mansion House function that among
those present were Old Isaacs and Old
Treloar He should have known that
Aid was an abbreviation of Alder
man In the same take of copy the
Lord Mayor was received with a
crash should be eclat and was
followed by the sheriffs inthelr mar
garine mazarine gowns
Let the gulled Judy wink appeared
In another first proof and the proof
reader wearily made it the galled jade
wince Die lusty platter has quite
a transpontine flavor but the copy
said Die Lustige Blatter a German
weekly paper
Pignut of the enunciation does not
seem convincing figment of the imag
ination is better Petticoats long on
Sunday morning Is a disgrace Is all
right when the first two words are
read Petticoat lane
In a police court assault case the
prosecutor was made to say that the
prisoner had given him twins What
the prisoner really did was to give the
prosecutor a turn a fright The
government were suffering from men
tal aberration must have been set
up by a compositor of the opposition
politics The real charge was mutual j
admiration
De mortar lvll nice loreum would
trouble a Latin scholar De mortuis
nil nisi bonum is more correct Jim
the Pieman is easily recognizable as
the hero of a play and Putty Polly
the racehorse would throw up her
pretty head in disdain to see herself
so described
For a pair of scandals completed
the costume read sandals and for
Here is Indeed a sundial substitute
scandal He lived in the hubbubs
should be suburbs and Call her
Herr in is understandable when
printed Caller herrln
A well known descriptive writer was j
startled to read In a rough first proof
that he had described the fields sur
rounding the Derby course as covered
with boots and shoes He was pla
cated when Informed that It had been
altered to booths and shows
Columns could be filled with the
amazing and amusing blunders of the
compositor but here space forbids of
more than a final howler which is a
classic in the printing world O tem
poral O mores4 wrote a leader writ
er at ten minutes to 1 in the morning
O Moses indeed exclaimed the
proofreader a quarter of an hour later
when he caught and bowled the com
positor wfco had Improved the phrase
Into O Tennyson O Moses London
Express
It Is by presence ofy mind In untried
emergencies that- the native metal of a
man Is tested Lowell
SOUND SIGNALS
Their Unreliability Under Certain At
mosphcric Conditions
At practically every lighthouse of
Importance on the coasts of this coun
try is some sort of signaling apparatus
to be used when weather conditions
prevent the lights from being seen
Sometimes it is a bell sometimes n
j whistle sometimos a Daboll trumpet
sometimes a steam siren The Idea is
to make a noise which will be heard
where ordinarily the light would be
seen to give the mariner warning
which a fog prevents the light from
giving Of course in the case of a
first order light which may be seen
twenty miles the signal Is In part a
failure only the best and most favor
able of conditions carrying a siren
sound so far The signals of course
have certain characteristics to prevent
the hearer from mistaking one signal
for another
At certain times In certain weath
ers and more particularly In certain
localities these sound signals behave
as far as their hearers are concerned
in a most erratic manner In some
cases the lighthouse board gets indig
nant complaints that on a certain date
a certain fog signal was silent when
it should have sounded Investigation
shows that the signal was sounding
at the time but was for some inex
plicable reason inaudible to the very
ship It was meant to reach Naturally
such instances have been very care
fully Investigated and certain facts
have come to light as a result
It has been found that sound like
light is sometimes affected by at
mospheric conditions and that it will
skip about in a most bewildering way
Thus a fog signal may be heard with
ear splitting force a mile from its
source and 500 yards farther on may
disappear entirely Yet another 500
yards and it again sounds as strongly
as before The theory in such a case
as this is that the sound hits the wa
ter and Is echoed back from it into
tho air to return in a curve of more
or less magnitude and again strike the
water The sound in other words
skips like a stone skillfully thrown in
to the water the points of audibility
corresponding to the places the water
is hit and the areas of silence to the
flights of the stone
This is a simple case In others the
sound forms a circle a ring of audi
bility outside of which there is a si
lence and inside of which nothing in
the nature of a signal can be heard
And to make the matter more puzzling
the conditions sometimes do not ap
pear and the signal acts as it should
while at other and rarer occasions it
takes these freaks and fails in its pur
pose
As yet no laws have been deduced
to cover the cases in point Scientific
American
Severe Rebuke
Constable the famous painter once
gave a remarkable Instance of the
sweetness of his temper which scarce
ly anything could ruffle The story
was told by Julian Charles Young
whose uncle had witnessed the inci
dent
He called on Constable one day and
was received by him in his front room
After half an hours chat the artist
proposed to repair to the back room
to show him a large picture on which
he was engaged On walking up to
his easel he found that one of his little
boys in his absence had dashed the
handle of the hearth broom through
the canvas and made so large a rent
In It as to render its restoration im
possible He called the child up to
him and asked him gently if he had
done it When the boy admitted his
act Constable took him on his knee
and rebuked him in these unmeasured
terms
Oh my dear pet See what we
have done Dear dear What shall
we do to mend it I cant think can
you
Dublin Castle
The name of Dublin castle Is more
formidable than its appearance When
it was built in the thirteenth century
it was doubtless with its four great
towers and its deep moat a thing of
beauty compared with the present
miscellaneous welter of buildings
gathered round two ugly squares
Supposed to have been begun by a
grandson of Henry I Meyler Fitz
Henry it was completed by Henry De
Loundres in 1223 In those days the
days of its life as a real castle de
fending a city a river ran past the
building The Poddle still runs but
It keeps its obscure course under the
pavement of the lower castle yard
It was not until well into the reign
of Elizabeth that the castle was first
used as the official residence of the
lord lieutenant then described as the
lord deputy Although it has ever
since retained that exalted function
Dublin castle was so neglected about
two centuries ago as to need rebuild
ing Very little of tho original struc
ture remains Dundee Advertiser
Had Confidence In Him
Mind now said the judge you
are sworn to tell the truth and If you
do not the penitentiary will be your
portion
The man took the oath and then
whispereU to his friend
John Im feared its all up with
you The judge says Ive got to tell the
truth
Thats all right Jim said his
friend with confidence I aint
bout that kaze you cant do it
Atlanta Constitution
Getting Down to Particulars
Mrs SHmson Shall I read you thi
animal story Willie
Willie With or without
With or without what
Affidavits New York Life
MIXED IN THE THUNDER
A Scene In Macbeth That Was Not
on the Playbill
It is related of Cooke the actor that
when a youth being without the neces
sary cash to pay for a scat In front
he got behind the scenes one night and
hid himself In a barrel He had for
companions two large cannon balls
but the youth not being Initiated into
the mysteries of the place did not
suspect that cannon balls helped to
make thunder in a barrel as well as in
a twenty four pounder
The play was Macbeth and In the
first scene the thunder was required to
give due effect to the situation of the
crouching witches It was not long ere
the Jupiter Tonans of the theater alias
the property men approached and
seized the barrel and the horror of the
concealed boy may be imagined as the
man proceeded to cover the open end
with a piece of old carpet and tie It
carefully to prevent the thunder from
being split
Cooke was profoundly and heroically
silent The machine was lifted by the
brawny stage servitor and carried care
fully to the side scene lest in rolling
the thunder should rumble before its
cue
AH was made ready the witches
took their places amid flames of
resin the thunder bell rang the barrel
received Its impetus with young Cooke
and the cannon balls the stage strick
en lad roaring lustily to the amuse
ment of the thunderer who neglected
to stop the rolling machine which en
tered on the stage and Cooke burst
ing off the carpet head of the barrel
appeared before the audience to the
horror of the weird sisters and to the
hilarity of the spectators London
Mall
MUSHROOMS
Those That Are Poisonous Always
Carry the Death Cup
Mushrooms when poisonous are the
most dangerous plants in existence as
there Is no antidote for the poison
Without going into the intricacies of
the edible meadow Agaricus cam
pestris and the horse mushroom
Agaricus arvensls which are among
the most wholesome and valuable
vegetables and of the numerous other
harmless and nutritious varieties as
distinguished by their dark spores
from the poisonous kind with white
spores one rule of observation will pre
serve the health and safety of any one
collecting wild mushrooms for eating
Without the use of a single technical
term the difference in poisonous and
nonpoisonous mushrooms is easily
shown even to a novice What bota
nists call the death cup the volva
around the stipe or in plainer terms
the socket around the stem is never
absent from the deadly mushrooms
Sometimes it is distinct well above
ground up around the lower part of
the stem then again it is below
ground but not attached to the stem
so as to lose the cup shape and some
times it grows upon or is attached to
the stem giving It a bulbous swollen
base Severely reject every plant that
has a bulbous stem or the cup standing
out around the stem All edible and
harmless mushrooms have straight
stems the same size from the root to
the cap Georgia Torrey Denman In
Good Housekeeping
Mystification
His weakness was prevarication
His wife detested lying and constant
ly urged him to mend his ways One
morning she said Will see if you
cant be perfectly truthful today
Dont tell a He Now promise He
promised and went away to work
When he came home to dinner she
said
Dear did you keep your promise
I did he replied soberly
Then he caught her in his arms
Darling he cried I will not lie to
you When I said I had kept my
promise to you I did not tell the
truth but believe me that was the
only lie I told all day
For twenty two seconds she was
lost In perplexity Then she gave it
np the problem was too deep for her
The Part He Lost
A New England man tells of a pros
perous Connecticut farmer painfully
exact in money matters who married
a widow of Greenwich possessing In her
own right the sum of 10000 Shortly
after the wedding a friend met the
farmer to whom he offered congratu
lations at the same time observing
Its a good thing for jou Malachi a
marriage that means 10000 to you
Not quite that Bill said the farm
er not quite that Why exclaim
ed the friend I understood there was
every cent of 10000 In It for you
I had to pay 2 for a marriage li
cense said Malachi
Gnawed His Way Out of Prison
A burglar named Schaarschmidt In
prison at Gera deliberately set to work
to gnaw through a thick oaken beam in
front of his cell window It was a
work of seven weeks The fragments
of wood which were torn away with
his teeth he replaced with chewed
bread until the beam was almost gnaw
ed through A final smashing noise
was heard by the wardens but before
they could appear Schaarschmidt had
escaped London Chronicle
Just the Same as Usual
I thought you said you werent
going to drink any more
I did
But here you are drinking as much
Us ever
Well that Isnt any more is it-
Kansas City Independent
A broad minded man never loses any
Bleep becauce another mans opinions
fail to agree with his own Wright
City News
RELICS OF THE DEAD
Horrible Custom of a South American
Indian Trib
The Ucayall Indians a numerous
south American tribe with decided
cannibalistic tastes who Inhabit both
banks of one of the uppermost and
longest of the affluents of the Amazon
have a system by which they preserve
the features of their dead so that
friends can always Identify those that
have gone to the happy hunting
ground as surely as If gazing at a
photograph
To accomplish this they cut the head
from the body but retain the long hair
The ghastly bleeding trophies of a
days battle or a nights massacre of
their enemies are suspended by tho
long straight black hair to the limb
of a tree Directly under this they
dig a hole which they fill with water
in their primitive way causing it to
boil by placing hot stones In it or if
near a camp or village an earthen pot
of boiling water is used
The ascending hot vapor and steam
which envelop the suspended head
outlined by the fire and shadows like
ghosts In the darkness of a tropical
night in the deep solitude and under
the black shadows of the palm forests
accompanied by the weird antics of
the ugly human brutes and the shriek
of wild birds of the night or the howl
of tigers make a scene that cannot be
fully described to the Imagination
This steaming process has the effect
of loosening the scalp from the skull
or In some way of softening It that all
the bones are removed With the va
cant sack of skin drawn from the head
Intact they next fili It with hot pebbles
and sand Tpse are replaced by oth
ers when they are cool The process
they use has the effect of drying and
shrinking the skin but in some way
not clearly known it preserves the
original features of the victim They
are thus distorted and ghastly looking
reminders of the departed London
Spare Moments
BOTH WERE TRICKY
A Bit of Business Between a Merchant
and a Lumberman
There used to be an old retired mer
chant in Detroit who delighted in re
calling his experiences when an active
man running a general store in one of
the northern cities of the lower penin
sula
I used to reap a harvest when the
men were coming out of the woods
he relates They were not up in
styles and about any old thing would
suit them provided the color was right
and the fit even passable But there
were tricksters among them and I
had to have my wits about me in or
der to keep even with them
now much Is that hat asked a
strapping six footer who arrived from
camp one day with a pocketful of
money
Two fifty I replied
Then he Informed me that he al
ways had the crowns of his hats
punched full of holes In order to keep
his head cool and his hair from com
ing out I soon had this attended to
and then he asked what the hat was
worth Two fifty I responded in sur
prise but he laughed at me for asking
such a price for damaged goods He
had me and got his hat for 1 while
the jolly crowd with him had a laugh
at my expense He wanted to look
at some fiddles and after pricing one
at 10 concluded to take it
Wheres the bow he asked as I
was doing up the package
You only bought the fiddle I
laughed The others saw the point
and laughed too The giant tried to
bluff me but I kept good humored
and got even on the hat by charging
him 150 for the bow I not only
got even but the others were so
pleased with my Yankee trick that
they spent plenty of money with me
Detroit Free Press
Say you saw it in The Tribune
CITY LODGE DIRECTORY
A F A A M
McCook Lodge No 133 A F A M moots
every first and third Tuesday of the month at
800 p in in Masonic hall
Charles L Fahnestock W M
Lon Cone Sec
DEOREEOF HONOK
McCook Lodge No 3 D of H moots every
second and forth Fridays of each month at800
p in in Ganschows hall
Mas Laura Osduen C of H
Mas MattieG Wells Rec
EAQLE3
McCook Aerie No 15M FOE raoets tho
second and fourth Wednesdays of each month
at 800 pm in Ganschows hall Social meet
ings on the first and third Wednesdays
W It Cummins W Pres
II F Peterson W Sec
EASTERN STAR
Eurokn Chapter No 86 O E S moots tho
second and fourth FridajB of oach month at
800 p m in Masonic hall
Mrs Sarah E Kat W M
Sylvester Cordeal Sec
KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS
McCook Council No 1126 K of C meots tho
first and third Tuesdays of each month at 800
p in In Gauschowa hall
C J Rtan G K
F G Leciileiter F Sec
knights of rrrniAB
McCook Lodge No 42 K of P meotaevory
Wednesday at 830 p in in Masonic hall
J F Cordeal C C
C W Barnes K R S
KNIGHTS TEMFLAR
St John Commandery No 16 K T moots ou
tho second Thursday of onch month at 800 p
in in Masonic hall
Emerson Hanson E C
Sylvester Cordeal Rec
LOCOMOTIVE ENGINEERS
McCook Division No C23 B of L E meets
every first and third Saturday of each month at
8 00 in Berrys hall
W C SciienckCE
W D Uubnett F A E
LOCOMOTIVE FIREMEN
McCook Lodgo No 599 B of L F E
meets every Saturday at 800 p m in Gans
chows hall
W R Penninoton M
W S Bixler Soc
modern woodmen
Noblo Camp No C63 M W A meots evory
second and fourth Thursday of each mouth at
830 p m in Gnnschows hall
John Hunt V C
Barney Hofee Clork
ODD FELLOWS
McCook Lodgo No 137 1 0 0 F meets every
Monday at 800 p m in Ganschows hall
E H Doan N G
Scott Doan Sec
p e o
Chapter X P E O meets the second and
fourth Saturdays of each month at 230 p m
at tho homes of the various members
Mrs C W Britt Pres
Mrs J G Schobel Cor Sec
RAILWAY CONDUCTORS
Harvey Division No 95 O R C meots tho
second and fourth Sundays of each month at
300 p m in Berrys hall
Joe HEGENBEBaEB C Con
M O McClure Sec
BAILWAY TRAINMEN
C W Bronson Lodge No 487 B of R T
meets evory Friday at 800 p m in Berrys
hall
H W Conovee M
F J Huston Sec
R A M
King Cyras Chapter No 35 R A M meets
every first and third Thursday of each monthat
S00 p m in Masonic hall
Clarence B Gray II P
Clinton B Sawyeb Sec-
BOYAL NEIGHBORS
Noblo Camp No S62 R N A meets every
second and fourth Thursday of each month at
230 p m in Ganschows hall
Mrs Mary Walkeb Oracle
Mes Augusta Anton Rec
s s M
Council Nol6RSMmeets on
the last Saturday of each month at 800 p m
in Masonic hall
RALPn A Hagberg T I M
Syvlestee Cordeal Sec
WORKMEN
McCook Lodgo No 61 AOUW meets every
Monday at 800 p m in Berrys hall
Web Stephens M W
C B Grat Rec
S
FENNEY WALKER
General Contracting Painters and Decorators
Not How Cheap but How Good with Us
Office and Shop west of Fitst ITational Bank
Leave Orders with C P Wnnriwnrth roio
-- JAiijmAj q
SG
MUIO I J
in a Stock Certificate of the
McCook
Building Loan
Association
No better or safer
investment is open to
you An investment
of 100 per month for
120 months will earn
8o nearly g percent
compounded annually
Dont delay but see
the secretary today
Subscriptions r e
ceived at any time for
the new stock just
opened
o
X
rl
r
V
