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OUR NEW PACIFIC FLEET
Ships Recently Ordered to the Pacific
Coast under Admiral Evans
BEAR ADMIBAI KOBIiET D EVANS
U S BATTLESHIP ILLINOIS
CapL Gotfrled Btocklinger tonnage 11525 guns 18 speed 17 knots
U S BATTLESHIP LOUISIANA
CapL Richard Walnwrlght tonnage 16000 guns 24 speed 18 knots
U S PROTECTED CRUISER CHICAGO
Commander Robert M Doyle tonnage 4500 guns 18 si eed 18 knots
Flagship of Admiral Evans
BSBHSHMnHCSS K SJiSC iSB Si i
HBHsBSISSSSlBi
U S GUNBOAT YORKTOWN
Commander Richard T Mulligan tonnage 1710 guns 6 speed 18 knots
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Wit daid Humor
JOHN SHARP WILLIAMS
T
HE Democratic
leader of the
house is one of
the best story tellers
at the national capi
tal He also has a
rich vein of humor
but is rather sparing
of its use lu his
speeches One of the
most famous exam
ples of his irony
was a satirical trib
ute to Admiral Crowinshield during
the Sampson Schley inquiry This de
licious take off was done in verse Wil
liams occasionally drops into poetry
and wound up by declaring that
Great Crownlnshlelds the bravest tar
That always stayed ashore
At the time Mr Williams was men
tioned as a presidential candidate ho
had considerable dry fun with the re
porters over the matter To one news
paper man he said My boom is mak
ing tremendous strides My private
secretary Is unreservedly for me and
I have hopes of securing the support
of Charley Edwards the clerk of the
minority room
To a somewhat young and callow re
porter John Sharp with exceeding
gravity said he had quite some hopes
of getting the nomination Reports
from Mississippi were especially en
couraging
Toomsuba Ofanoma Noxopater
Nanachehaw Toccopola Tabbville and
Grubbs Springs I am told he said
are already for me while I have ev
ery reason to believe that I shall have
the undivided support of such places
as Nittayuma Wahalak Bolatusha
Hushpukena Ittabena Pelahatchle
Mittayuma Skutch CInqupin Paw
tickfaw Octoc Leggo Yellow Rabbit
Chunkey Station Hambone Deovo
lente and Whynot
Upon being asked to spell the names
he did so with great gravity
On a later occasion when the news
paper men asked him concerning his
candidacy he said that Mrs Williams
had objected that with her sick head
aches she never could stand the White
House so he would have to give up the
presidency
John Sharp once ran afoul of Tom
Reed This is the way Re tells the
story himself
I met Mr Reed coming out of the
cloakroom and he said to me in that
peculiar drawl of his Williams what
ever makes you such a bitter parti
san
Well Mr Speaker thats pretty
good coming from you isnt it I re
plied
Never mind me he replied But
why are you such a bitter partisan
Well Ill tell you I said You
know I never saw a Republican until
I was thirty eight years old and I
cant get used to them somehow
He looked at me reproachfully and
walked away without another word
At a Washington banquet Mr Wil
liams once proposed this toast
Heres to President Roosevelt whom
the world has grossly overestimated
as an author and whom the Democrat
ic party grossly underestimated as a
politician
It was Williams who fastened the
designation of kid congressmen to
new members Mr Wharton a boy
ish looking recruit from Chicago in
terrupted and wanted to know what
he meant by kid congressmen
Mr Speaker said Mr Williams
with a wave of his hand toward the
member from Chicago with that de
gree of reverence which the personal
appearance of my interrogator excites
In my mind I should say that he is
perhaps the last person in the house
who ought to ask the question where
at Mr Wharton subsided
General Grosvenor was designated
by Mr Williams as the most exuber
ant and unscrupulous prophet that
this part of the world ever saw
The minority leader once had a
Democratic caucus called and the re
porters were wild to find out the rea
son Williams was very short with
them at first but finally thawed out
and said
Boys I have decided to confide in
you I called that caucus for the pur
pose of advocating a return to govern
ment by consuls under which system
the Roman republic prospered for a
thousand years
Nobody bothered him after that
John Sharp was once denouncing the
committee on rules popularly known
as the house machine
The gentleman himself is a mem
ber of the committee on rules put In
a member
Yes drawled Williams nominal
ly
The house recognized the thrust with
a roar but the other man persisted
You attend the meetings of that
committee he said
I am Invited to the seances re
turned Williams but I am never con
sulted about the spiritualistic appear
ances
When Williams first ran for congress
his opponent was a famous coon hunt
er and trained much sunnort hv the
J fact Williams had never hunted
coons but saw that something had to
be done Buying a bunch of roman
candles he went out with the boys
fired the candles among the branches
till he scared the coons out of the trees
made a record hpnt and won the elec
tion
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
Your dog never bothers any one
When the joke Is on you it is never
very fun 113-
There Is a good deal of inhumanity
in human nature
How loud the door bangs when some
one else slams it
It Is easier to keep a secret than it
Is to keep a promise
Every one Is superstitious enough to
believe In the dollar sign
You cant judge the speed of a loco
motive by the way it whistles
There are lots of happy people but
they are unnoticed In the noise the
wretched make
As we grow older we are all com
pelled to give up much of the spunk
we displayed In youth
If you think you are right go ahead
if you want to but dont expect every
one to go with you Atchison Globe
The Muskellunge
The Indian name of this great fighter
of the fresh water lakes and tributa
ries is esoxmasquinougy Our nat
uralists have the word translated Into
about eight or nine different styles but
the correct way of spelling it in our
language Is undoubtedly muskel
lunge Most fishermen however
pronounce and spell it to suit them
selves and no man seems to be an ac
cepted authority It is one thing in
Canada another in the St Lawrence
and another in the great lakes The
favorite among New Yorkers is mus
callouge The fish reaches a length
of seven and a half feet and the big
gest ever taken is said to have
weighed ninety two pounds In game
ness it Is said to surpass the tarpon
of the Caribbean and the tuna of the
Pacific New York Press
The Causo of Snoring
This is not for you because yon
never snore No one ever does snore
himself It is always the other fellow
But you can read this and then tell
that guilty other fellow how to break
himself of his bad habit for snoring
is merely a bad habit and as such
can be overcome It is caused pri
marily by Improper breathing that is
breathing through the mouth instead
of through the nostrils so first of all
care should be taken during waking
hours to breathe correctly The habit
once formed of keeping the mouth as
firmly closed as possible he will be
less likely to sleep with it open Then
see that your troublesome snorer has
a proper pillow He should sleep with
his head as flat as possible for if hia
head is pushed forward and the nech
bent the tongue drops back againsl
the soft palate and forms an obstruc
tion which makes all the unmusical
sounds we hear when the air is forced
past it St James Gazette
The Last Match Saved Them
The ship had lain becalmed In a trop
ical sea for three days Not a breath
of air stirred the mirrorlike surface ol
the sea or the limp sails that hung
from the yards like drapery carved In
stone The captain resolved to wall
no longer He piped up all hands on
deck and requested the passengers to
also come forward
I must ask all of you he said to
give me every match that you have
Wonderingly the passengers and crew
obeyed The captain carefully arranged
the matches in his hands as each man
handed him his store until all had
been collected Then he threw them
all overboard but one drew a clgai
from his pocket and striking the soli
tary match on the mainmast endeav
ored to light it In an instant a furi
ous gale swept over the deck extin
guished the match and filled the sails
and the good ship Mary Ann sped
through the waves on her course
Pearsons Weekly
The Cods Bill of Fare
An Interesting exhibit in the South
Kensington museum London illus
trates the omnivorous nature of the
cods diet Among the fish falling a
prey to its voracious maws we note
the young of the herring dab whiting
and sand eel Shrimps and young lob
sters also form an important Item in
the cods menu The strangest part ol
the cods diet perhaps is the sea mouse
whose thick covering of bristles might
he thought to render it unwelcome to
any stomach Large whelks and shells
of whelks with their indwelling hermit
crabs are also largely devoured From
Its partiality to mollusks in fact tho
cod may become an assistant to the
shell collector Woodward in his Man
ual of the Mollusca remarks that
some good northern seashells have
been rescued unbroken from the stom
ach of the cod London Globe
Growing Fiowre In Winter
A long run of dark days in winter Is
bad for the florists It matters little
how cold the weather is provided
there is sunshine for the heat can al
ways be maintained to the proper
point and with sunshine flowers will
bloom just as freely when the ther
mometer shows an outdoor tempera
ture of zero as at the freezing point
though of course more money must be
6pent for coal But when day after
day for weeks at a time clouds over
hang the sky nothing will grow as it
should The carnation buds develop
slowly until they are half open and
wait for sunshine and if it does not
come in four or five days the blooms
decay So also it is with callas and
roses They will open halfway then
without sunlight will quickly spoil
St Louis Globe Democrat
Wanted a Better Cne
Patient When youre 111 doctor do
you treat yourself
No I call in one of my colleagues
Then cant I call In one of them
th nna that cured rou Kumar
Curve Balls
The Spit Ball the Rise Ball
the Fade Away Ball and Other
Marvels of the National Game
Why a New Curve Is a Bonanza
By FREDERICK R TOOMBS
mim
2
WtXZH
h VaAMwM
HOW THE SPIT
BALL IS HELD
B
ASEBALL pitch
ers find the
study of tho
phenomena of curve
balls a most Inter
esting as well as val
uable pursuit It was
the discovery of the
curve that gave base
ball much of its im
petus as a scientific
sport and men spend
years In seeking to
develop new varia
tions of It and new
possibilities Those
who successf lly
demonstrate a new
species of curve find
no difficulty In earning 5000 to 8000
or 10000 a year Considering that
almost any major league pitcher can
by careful living and judicious treat
ment of his so called salary wing
Bucceed In staying in tho game for ten
years it is seen that it is almost as
profitable to study ball curves as It Is
to elect yourself president of the Unit
ed States And so far as a corporation
presidency is concerned the clever pitch
er for a big league team makes prac
tically as much money and runs far
less risk of going to jail
Among the new curves are what
have become known as the spit ball
the rise bull and the fade awny
bail The spit ball is probably more
disconcerting to batsmen than any oth
er curve because It Is said to break
or curve in at least two different direc
tions and In such a manner that not
even the man who delivers it can ac
curately gauge just how It Is going to
act The spit ball is grasped in the
middle of the pitchers palm with the
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HOW PITCHERS HOLD THE BALL- IN THROW
ING CUBVES
At the top ready for an Incurve or
shoot In the middle an out curve or
shoot at the bottom a drop
thumb and all the fingers extended as
far around It as they will go The
pitcher moistens with his tongue
hence the name of the curve one or
two of his fingers so that these fingers
exert practically no pressure on the
ball and then throws it with all tho
force that he can muster and yet be
reasonably accurate The fingers that
were not moistened exert pressure on
the sides of the ball so peculiarly as
to make the revolutions of the ball
vary in direction during its flight and
co the two different curves during one
flight of the ball are produced The
Initial cut in this column shows how
the ball Is held by the pitcher who de
livers the spit ball This photograph
and the others used In illustrating this
article were specially posed for by
Joseph McGinnlty of the New York
National league team
The rise ball Is the result of ex
periments of men who have for years
been trying to perfect an up curve
or up shoot While pitchers could
produce without much difficulty in
curves outs drops and out
drops they could not for many years
make a ball rise as It went over the
home plate
The lnshoot is delivered by sending
the ball away over the ends of the In
dex and middle fingers
It Is the revolving of the ball on its
axis that makes it curve or to be
more accurate that leads to Its curv
ing The ball that revolves swiftly
from left to right offers more resistance
to the air on Its left side than It doe3
on Its right so the ball swerves to the
right or in toward the batsman
The outshoot is delivered by sending
the ball away over the side of the fore
finger and when the ball Is released
the back of the hand is turned down
ward Now the ball revolves from
right to left and so It swerves to the
left or out from the batsman
The drop can be delivered In two or
three different ways and In most cases
the ball is held just as for an out
curve but It is frequently let go with
more of a snap and always with the
back of the pitching hand turned to
the right or partly to the front so as
to make tho ball revolve away from the
The best of every
thing in his line at
the most reasonable
prices is flarshs
motto He wants
your trade and
hopes by merit to
keep it
MA
The Butcher
Phone 12
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IBIMpWSft
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It can always be depended upon
even in the more severe attacks of
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It is equally successful for summer
diarrhoea and cholera infantum in
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When with water and
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Evt ry man of a family should keep
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Price 25c Large Size 50o
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ECIAL RATE
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LADIES
sion iiuKecs 10 me
Jamestown Exposition eastern cities
and resorts northern Michigan Canada
and New England
TO tlie WeStl Attractive low ex
cursion rate b to tne
Pacific coast Yellowstone Park Utah
Colorado Big Horn Mountains Black
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Big Horn Basin and Billings
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Deaver Landseekers Information Bu
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the COaSt ay n September and
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GEORGE S SCOTT
Ticket Agent McCook Neb
L W WAKElEY G P A Omaha Neb
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