The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, August 16, 1907, Image 3

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OUR NEW PACIFIC FLEET
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Ships Recently Ordered to the Pacific
Coast under Admiral Evans
This ilupartinont to bo continued until tho ctitiro licet of aixieiii vosf nls lias boon shown
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U S BATTLESHIP
Capt Nathan E Miles tonnage 12500
MAINE
guns 20 speed 18 knots
U S BATTLESHIP KENTUCKY
Capt Edward B Barry tonnage 11525 guns 22 speed 16 knots
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U S BATTLESHIP OHIO
Capt Lewis C Hellner tonnags 12500 guns 20 speed 18 knots
TWO CHEERFUL LIARS
A Queer Cherry Tree and a Back Ac
tion Cannon Ball
Mr Finlajsou town clerk of Stirling
in the latter part of the seventeenth
century was noted for the marvelous
in conversation He was on a visit to
the Earl of Mouteith and Airth in his
castle of Taha on the loch of Mon
teith and was about taking leave
when he was asked by the earl wheth
er lie had seen the sailing cherry tree
No said Finlayson What sort of
a thing is it
It is replied the earl a tree that
has grown out of a gooses mouth from
a stone the bird had swallowed and
which she bears about with her in
voyages round the loch It is just at
present in full fruit of the most exqui
site flavor Now Finlayson he add
ed can you with all your powers of
memory and fancy match the story of
the cherry tree
Perhaps I can said Finlayson
clearing his throat adding When Oli
ver Cromwell was at Aith one of the
cannon sent a ball to Stirling and
lodged it In the mouth of a trumpet
which one of the troops in the castle
was in the act of sounding
Was the trumpeter killed said the
earl
No my lord said Finlayson lie
blew the ball back and killed the artil
leryman who had fired it Pearsons
Weekly
STAMMERING
Caused More Often by Habit Than b
Defective Vocal Organs
Stammering is often more the re
sult of habit than from any defect of
the vocal organs says an authority
It is generally If not always caused
by a spasm of the larynx resulting
from nervous contraction of the or
gans thus refusing to permit a proper
flow of the air current producing tone
People rarely or never stammer when
singing- for then the attention Is dl-
aria musIcJThe
nervousness is momentarily forgotten
and the passage of the air current
through the larynx is continuous and
unobstructed
Stammering very often is the re
sult of Imitation sometimes intention
al sometimes unconscious and the af
fliction is much more general than
might be supposed In one compara
tively small section of the city there
are thirty five stammerers and every
one of them is able to demonstrate to
his own satisfaction not only that he
does not stammer very badly but that
some other person he knows stammers
a great deal worse than himself
Every stammerer is intensely sensitive
about his infirmity rarely forgives and
never does forget any allusion to it
which in his mind savors of ridicile
St Louis Globe Democrat
A Pretty Fast Clock
He was standing in front of the cir
cular elevator indicator In one of the
office buildings watch in hand It was
the morning after and I suppose that
he had forgotten to concern himself
with the frivolous detail of winding
his timepiece the previous evening
His equilibrium was far from stable
and his ejes unsteadily following the
Indicator hand blinked with efforts at
comprehension as he tried to set his
watch
Diculous clock hie very musing
hie very fast pace we live hie
thesh days hie pretty fast fer my
ole timer hie diculous cant seem
f catch It hie whoa there you are
gone again hie Pshaw diculous
clock
I left him still trying to get his
watch Into conformity with the speed
ing Indicator Boston Traveler
Careful
Tm going to put a fender on the
front of my runabout
So you wont run over some one
Nope So it wont hurt the radiator
when I do Cleveland Plain Dealer
Do
SPEECH OF PARROTS
These Birds Understand What
They Talk About
Those of us who possess talking par
rots are often asked the question Dc
yftu think they really understand what
they say Sometimes I have been In
clined to say Yes so striking has
been the fitness of the birds remarks
ni other times No When a bird has
been carefully taught or has learned
from his own observation a consider
able number of set phrases and sen
tences there are certain to arise occa
sions when one or another of his ex
clamations fits In happily with the con
versation or circumstances of the mo
ment Some few instances of such co
Incidences for every one of which I
can vouch may Interest your circle of
readers Some years we were present
ed with a young green parrot The
bird must have been only a few
months old as she gave no sign of her
red tall This however quickly ap
peared and Tolly soon gave evidences
that she was listening to sounds and
learning to reproduce them We now
began to give her talking lessons bj
continually repeating over mid over
again set words or phrases and were
soon repaid for our pains Polly began
to talk and quickly mastered a good
many of her lessons She added a
good many self acquired accomplish
ments such as cab calls milkmens
and paper boys cries and the cawing
of rooks Her piercing whistle would
often cause the milkman to stop and
look around thinking the call was
for him Polly also learned to imitate
the song of the canary She would
look up at her little yellow mate in her
cage above and call her Sweet sweet
pretty little Dick pretty little Dick
On one occasion the dressmaker was
ushered into the dining room and was
startled by tho bird exclaiming Hel
lo Whats your name What do you
want She surprised a lady visitor
on one occasion with the rather un
usual inquiry Are you nice About
this time I was suffering from a very
painful complaint and it would al
most seem as if my suffering drew
out the birds sympathy for on one oc
casion she said to me nello Whats
the matter with 3011 Are you quite
well I replied No not quite well
Polly whereupon she replied Not
quite well She was once In the room
where a member of the family was
practicing singing and presently made
tho remark emphasizing the last word
Whats the matter with you When
signs of going out for a walk are ap
parent we are invariably and repeated
ly bidden Goodby goodby with the
accompaniment of many kisses Upon
our return Tolly inquires Where have
you been and upon being informed
usually replies Glad to see you back
During last winter my wife was one
morning putting up an old stove for
Pollys benefit near her cage On the
half landing the bird watched her with
great interest and presently said Do
you feel cold Count your bless
ings was a phrase Polly found great
difficulty in mastering Count your
bless being all she succeeded In utter
ing and soon dropping this as too trou
blesome However after a time we
tried her again Now she drops out
the bless and solemnly exhorts us to
Count your count your sins A few
weeks ago a servant was engaged in
polishing brasswork near Pollys cage
and the bird immediately started talk
ing to her Hello Polly What do
you want Whats the matter with
you Are you quite well Do jou
feel cold Where have you been
and much more Eliciting no reply
she shouted out Why dont you talk
and drew the retort from the woman
Because I am too busy Polly Polly
replied How shocking H Dann in
London Spectator
The Gray Horse
You may change a farmers religion
or politics make him think he is rich
and handsome or sell him a dog but
you will never make him think a gray
horse Is not a jewel I read some
where recently that gray horses were
not up to the standard or words to
that effect I never was so astonished
in my life I have always thought
and do now that gray or white horses
were the handsomest toughest breed
on the planet
The celebrated Arabian horses are
white or dapple gray Famous gen
erals in all wars have ridden white or
iron gray chargers Circus men select
gray horses to draw the band wagons
in street parades A great packing
company always selects Percheron
horses not so much for the color but
because their feet will stand traveling
on the pavement better than any draft
breed It is said that Joan of Arc rode
a milk white horse and St John the
reveiator saw a white horse in heaven
Revelation vi 2 Half of the draft
horses in Aroostook are white or gray
and another decade will see 00 per cent
of them of that color
Value of a Cheap Acid
In a vessel of platinum lined with
gold some sulphuric acid hissed The
vessel is costly but the contents are
hardly worth 2 cents a quart said the
chemist Yet you have no idea what
a public benefactor sulphuric acid Is
Without it for instance we could have
none of the finer sorts of Fourth of
July fireworks and neither could we
have any more war for gun cotton
nitroglycerin lyddite dynamite In
fact all the high explosives could not
be made without sulphuric acid With
out it we could have no coal tar dyes
It Is this acid that releases the lovely
colors locked in coal tars black slime
Without it the farmers would have
none of the wonderful superphosphate
fertilizers It is sulphuric acid that
poured on worthless old bones turns
them Into a marvelous soil stimulant
Yes this the cheapest of all acids Is
admitted to be the most valuable of all
telds as well Exchange
WONDERFUL MAY SUTTON
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MISS tJRA SHOAF
Hoosier State she had the honor of
winning the first prize She was then
chosen to represent Indiana in the na
tional contest to determine what mem
ber of the fair sex Is entitled to the
distinction of being voted the most
beautiful woman In the United States
The photograph of Miss Shoaf which
Is by Nicholson of Crawfordsville Is
published by courtesy of the Indianap
olis Star
tiKHmmfnaninimm
American Girl Who Won English Ten
nis Championship
Miss May Sutton of California is one
of the most remarkable women ath
letes of her time and her skill and
endurance in playing tennis are the
marvel of all who witness her per
formances Englishwomen are prover
bially strong and athletic owing to the
popularity of outdoor sports and diver
sions In England from time Immemo
rial That an American woman should
take the honors in tennis away from
Englishwomen is considered a high
compliment to the healthfulness and
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physical
America
MISS MAY SUTTON
power of the fair sex in
Miss Sutton has now won
the womens tennis championship of all
England twice and she announced aft
er her recent success in the tourna
ment at Wimbledon that she was go
ing to trysa third time She has been
the American champion and if she
beats Miss Sears who now holds that
title in the August tournament to de
termine who is the best woman player
in tills country she will then be wo
mans champion of the world in ten
nis
Miss Sutton first won the all England
championship two years ago Last
year she lost it to Miss D K Douglass
of England now Mrs R L Chambers
This 3ear she beat Mrs Chambers and
won back the title On the conclusion
of the championship round she receiv
ed a remarkable ovation from the
crowds in the stands who were forced
to admire her pluck despite the fact
that many regretted seeing an Ameri
can girl -win the English championship
The band struck up See the Conquer
ing nero Comes and the committee
presented Miss Sutton with a bouquet
of flowers She Is only twenty years
old She has several sisters and all
have won fame at tennis Their home
is In Pasadena Cal and the local ten
nis championship has long been a fam
ily possession as there has seldom
been a jear when one or another of
the sisters has not held it
INDIANAS BEAUTY QUEEN
Miss Ura Shoaf a Crawfordsville High
School Graduate
The award of the title of beauty
queen of Indiana to Miss Ura Shoaf of
Wallace has been generally indorsed
by those who have seen her picture
Miss Shoaf graduated recently from
the Crawfordsville High school and
when the Indianapolis Star conducted
its quest for the prettiest girl in the
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THE CYCLONE
How This Wonderful and Destructive
Air Fury It Formed
To get an idea of a cyclones forma
tion imagine a large circular pan or
tub with quite a large hole in the
middle of the bottom With this hole
plugged fill the vessel with water
then draw out the plug and watch
There Is first a rush of water from
all directions toward the hole and a
turbulent effort to get through then
the water surface above begins to
sink and swirl the particles gradually
circling around and around and rush
lug evor faster toward the center
At last there is actually a hollow space
through the center around which all
the water In the tub Is whirling slug
gishly near the rim but with more and
more violent rapidity toward the mid
dle until it rushes downward through
the bottom Now If that water were
air you would be watching a little
cyclone turned upside down for the
air rushes upward instead of down
ward
In the cradle of cyclones during the
summer months when the land and
the water grow hotter and hotter be
cause of the longer days than nights
a layer of air hot light and full of
vapor Is for a time held down by
denser air above It Restless expand
ing tumultuous it moves about like a
beast at bay until a thinner place in
the air above is found then up it mad
ly rushes and into tho vacuum left be
hind the loweratmosphcre hastens from
all directions pushing and twisting
and pouring upward until it lias fallen
Into a regular spinning around a coin
mou center
The cyclone once formed rushes
away from the tropics toward the polo
and begins its career of destruction
bruising wrecking and sinking the
luckless iips which happen to be In
Its path More and more of the sur
rounding atmosphere is drawn into the
whirl until the storm often covers an
area nearly 1000 miles in diameter
Sometimes It ilings itself upon our At
lantic coast and tears fiercely through
forests fields and cities Then again
It sweeps away across the broad ocean
and dashes itself upon the coasts of
Europe Once in awhile it so adroitly
avoids the land that we never know It
has passed until ships come in torn
and broken St Nicholas
HIS ODD AD
The Collar That Gave Plumley a
Sec-
ond Start In Business
Nothing succeeds like persever
ance said Mark Twain at a dinner
When the luck seems most against
us then we should work and hope
hardest of all In moments of dis
couragement let us remember my old
friend Henry Plumley of Virginia City
Henry Plumley ran a collar factory
Times were reported to be hard with
him When his factory which was
very heavily insured burned down
there was every indication that he
had set the place on fire himself in
order to get the insurance money Vir
ginia City was the soul of honor in
those days Shocked beyond words It
rose en masse seized Henry Plumley
put a halter round his neck and lynch
ed him
But he did not die The sheriff ar
rived and cut him down in time He
was tried and found guilt and he
served a term in jail
On his release jou wouldnt have
thought that hed return to Virginia
City again eh He did though He
came back reopened his collar factory
and prospered
What gave him his start was the
odd advertisement with which he an
nounced his return to business among
us Preceded by a brass band Henry
In a great gilt chariot burst upon our
streets ne sat on a kind of golden
throne and he held on a crimson cush
ion in his lap an old old collar Above
the collar on a crimson banner waved
this inscription in huge letters of gold
This is the collar we wore when
we were lynched It saved our life
Be wise in time and use no other At
all retailers 10 cents apiece three for
a quarter Indianapolis Star
Old Glory Humiliated
One instance is known in which Old
Glorys shame is the crown of a fam
ilys prestige At the battle of Bla
densburg the American troops were
defeated by the British under the com
mand of an Irish officer named Ross
In recognition of his services in win
ning this victory his sovereign granted
him the title of Ross of Bladensburg
and to his crest was added an Amer
ican flag reversed with the shaft
broken The title is hereditary In
our generation the possessor is a colo
nel of the Irish fusileers And this
Ross of Bladensburg uses as his crest
today our stars and stripes turned up
side down and with the shaft broken
in two Chicago Record Herald
Metallic Metaphors
It is most amazing said a metal
lurgist how the world relies on met
als for its metaphors and similes
Thus an orator is silver tongued or
golden mouthed An explorer is
bronzed by African suns A resolute
chap has an iron will A sluggard
moves with leaden feet An ostrich
has a copper lined stomach A million
aire has tin A swindler is as slippery
as quicksilver A borrower has brass
New Orleans Times Democrat
The Same or Another
And you saw Muriel
I did
Tell me is she married
Yes
One question more Again or yet
-Washington Herald
If you leap into a well Providence
la not bound to help you out German
Proverb
The best of every
thing in his line at
the most reasonable
prices is flarshs
motto He wants
your trade and
hopes by merit to
keep it
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The Butcher
Phone 12
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A few does of this remedy will in- j
variably cure an ordinary attack of
diarrhcea
It can alwajs be depended upon
even in the more severe attacks of
cramp colic and choleia morbns
It is equally successful for summer
diarrhcea and cholera infantum in
children and is the means of Baving
the lives of many children each year
When rediod with water and
oncciriiru ii jijtiiciiii n invu
Evt ry iiiiti ot h family uuld keep
this remy 111 Lishme Bnyitnow
Price 25c Large Size 50o
Hiliffinl
SPECIAL BATE
jULIjIjIIIi
To the East Daly Jw fatc eKCT
sion tickets to the
Jamestown Exposition eastern cities
and resorts northern Michigan Canada
and New England
TO the WeSt Attractive low ex
cursion rates to ire
Pacific coast Yellowstone Park Utah
Colorado Big Horn Mountains Black
Hills
Big Horn Basin and Billings
District er60Daly conducted cheap
luiu uuuiczccncia
Call or write for details
excur
sions first and third Tuesdays We as
sit you in locating irrigated lands at the
low original price Write D Clem
Deaver Landseekers Information Bu
reau Omaha
One Way Colonist Rates
the COaSt -ay m September and
nnu uciooer 10
nia Washington Oregon Montana Wy
oming Big Horn Basin
GEORGE S SCOTT
Ticket Agent McCook Neb
L W WAKELEY G P A Omaha Neb
CHICHESTERS PILLS
DIAMOND dfaWi BRAND
GO
LADIES
JUk your DrniczUt for A
DIAMOND BRAND PHIS ia Red andj
Gold metallic boxes sealed with Blue
Ribbon Takx no other BnrofTewV
Drngsut and t for V
OIAMOXD inAil PILLS for twenty fir
year rcardcC cs Best Safest Always Reliable
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS
tt iS r nOVW COr WORTH
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