The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, July 19, 1907, Image 6

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    Barber Shop
Hear of ist National Hank
Tfcwly Furnished
and First Class In Every
Earl Murray
MicMleton Ruby
All work guaranteed
Phono 182 McCook Nebraska
McCook Nebraska
SSaVgont of Lincoln Land Co and of McCook
Wator Works Ofllco in Postofllco building
J M Rupp
P O Box 131 McCook Nebraska
McCook Laundry
Dry and Steam Cleaning and
Office over McAdams Store Phone 190
w 69
Fairbury Hanchett
This is a warranted and guaran
teed windmill nothing better in
the market Write or call on Mr
Ball before buvinr
List Your Property
With Us
Farms Ranches Etc
Our office is in the east and
we bring the buyers direct
with the money For par
ticulars address
Humboldt Neb
Lumber and Goal
Home of Quality
and Quantity where
Are you thinking of
building If so it is ten
to one our figures will
please you
Phone No 1 Manager
Registered Graduate
Office over McConnells Drug Store
Telephones Office 160 residence 131
Former location Atlanta Georgia
and Builder
Repairing and Remodeling
Buildings a Specialty
fc Shop Fhone asi
muwSS kW
The Ways of Congressmen
It was at a banquet In Washington
given to a large body of congressmen
mostly from the rural districts The
tables were elegant and It was a scene
of fairy splendor so to speak but on
one table there were no decorations
but palm leuves v
Here said a congressman to the
head waiter why dont you put them
things on our tables too pointing to
the plants
The head waiter didnt know he was
a congressman
Wo calnt do it boss he whispered
confidentially deys mostly congress
men at all do tables ceptln dat ono
nn If we put pams on dere tables dey
take urn for celery an eat urn all up
sho Deed dey would boss We
knows em
Ashes to ashes dust to dust
What of his loving What of his lust
What of his passion What of his pain
What of his poverty What of his pride
Earth tho great mother has called him
Deeply ho sleeps the worlds verdict de-
Shall e he tried again Shall he go free
Who shall tho court convene Whero
shall It be
No answer on tho land none from tho sea
Only wo know that as ho died wo must
You with your theory you with your
Ashes to ashes dust unto dust
Paul Laurence Dunbar
College Days
There was once a Yale sophomore
who found himself in financial straits
and pawned all his good clothes A
little before Thanksgiving he got a big
check from home
When he got home for the holidays
the first thing his mother took out of
the trunk was an overcoat and on it
was pinned the pawnbrokers ticket he
had forgotten to remove
Hastily grabbing the ticket he said
nello They must have forgotten
to tnfce this off at the Smith dance
when I left It in the cloakroom
A moment later his mother took out
his evening trousers They also had
a ticket on them
Why Reginald she said surely
you didnt leave these in the cloak
room too did you Lipplncotts
After Many Trials
He was a sad faced American tourist
and as he seated himself In a London
restaurant he was Immediately attend
ed by an obsequious waiter
I want two eggs said the Ameri
can one fried on one side and one on
the other
Ow Is that sir asked the as
tounded waiter
Two eggs one fried on one side and
one on the other
Very well sir
The waiter was gone several min
utes and when he returned his face
was a study
Would you please repeat your hor
der sir
I said very distinctly two eggs one
fried on one side and one on the other
Oppressive silence and then a dazed
Very well sir
This time he was gone longer and
when he returned he said anxiously
Would It be awsklng too much sir
to ave you repeat your horder sir I
cawnt think I ave It right sir y
Two eggs said the American sadly
and patiently one fried on one side
and one on the other
More oppressive silence and another
and fainter Very well sir
This time he was gone still longer
When he returned his collar was un
buttoned his hair disheveled and his
face scratched and bleeding Leaning
over the waiting patron he asked be
Would you mind tyklng boiled
heggs sir Ive ad some words with
the cook Ladles Home Journal
Kissing the Girls
Senator Vance once stumped North
Carolina in joint debate with Judge
Settle the Republican candidate for
the governorship All the white Dem
ocrats turned out to hear Vance and
the colored Republicans to hear Settle
At the conclusion of the speaking one
day Vance was told that a number of
young women had expressed a desire
to kiss the Democratic candidate
He stepped down from the platform
and kissed a dozen or so of the pretty
young women when he stopped long
enough to turn around to his competi
tor and shout Im kissing my girls
Settle now you kiss yours
Anno Domino
When Senator Vest was old and
broken In health he once compared his
state to that of a very old negro he
remembered back in Kentucky
See here Sam asked the negros
friend whats the matter with you
Dont know boss said the old
darky but I think dat I am
wif anno domino
The Indispensable Man
When old Zach Taylor came into the
presidency persons in Washington
soon began to tell him there was one
public servant the government couldnt
do without They said they had come
to express the hope that the old gen
eral and rather unexperienced presi
dent would permit them to Inform him
of it This piece of information and
advice was systematically dropped into
his ear at frequent intervals At first
he paid little attention to It but finally
took note of the fact that a certain
John Hobby who for twenty odd
years had held the important office of
assistant postmaster general was tne
official the government couldnt get
along without The communications
became so frequent that one day aa
the last man disappeared old Zach
broke out with this question
Captain Harry who In the devil Is
this man Hobby everybody Is saying
we cant get along without
The general was informed about the
We must attend to the case at once
We are liable to be in trouble about
him any day We must be prepared
He is liable to die on our hands and
then the devil will be to pay Seems
to me the man who cant be spared Is
the one to turn out while the govern
ment is in a condition to meet the
emergenej Turn Hobby out Captain
Harry and dont wait Well see
whether or not he cant be spared
Attend to tho business at once cap
Nature Study
With a heart attuned to nature
study a little Hungarian girl In the
Canadian northwest exclaimed Yah
teacher Its certain beautiful on our
prairie where the birds and the small
sheep run about raw It Is this girls
brother who states Tlumage is the fo
liage of a parrot or hen Century
The Humorous Governor
When Wolcott was governor of Mas
sachusetts his youngest sou Oliver
was In one of the primary classes of
a school The teacher was one day
asking questions of her little pupils to
give them a chance to show what they
knew about one thing and another for
the entertainment of a lady who was
visiting the school and she finally in
Can nny one tell me who Is the gov
ernor of Massachusetts
No one could tell not even little
The teacher then told every one of the
pupils when he got home to ask his
father so as to be ready to tell her the
next day Accordingly when the class
assembled tho following morning she
gave out the question calling on Oliver
to see what he might have to say about
It Oliver answered
Pa says hes the governor But I
dont bellevo it cause hes always
making fun of everythin
He Won the Pie
When Barham the author of Tho
Ingoldsby Legends was a boy at Can
terbury he in company with a juve
nile companion entered a Quakers
meeting house and looking around at
the grave assemblage held up a penny
tart and said solemnly Whoever
speaks first shall have this pie Go
thy way said a drab colored gentle
man rising go thy way and The
pies yours sir exclaimed Barham
and hastily dropping it before the
speaker made his escape
Not For Him
A quiet and retiring citizen occupied
a seat near the door of a crowded car
when a masterful stout woman en
Having no newspaper behind which
to hide he was fixed and subjugated by
her glittering eye He rose and offered
his place to her Seating herself with
out thanking him she exclaimed in
tones that reached to the farthest end
of the car
What do you want to stand up there
for Come here and sit on my lap
Madam gasped the mau as his
face became scarlet I beg your par
don I-I-
What do you mean shrieked the
woman You know very well I was
speaking to my niece there behind
you Ladles Home Journal
The Host Could Not Leave
At a large evening party one of the
guests stood In a corner yawning
Are you very much bored sir ask
ed his neighbor
Yes dreadfully was the answer
And you
Oh I am bored to death too
How would it do to clear out to
I am sorry I cant I am the host
Stantons Bone Crusher
Some officer had disobeyed or failed
to comprehend an order
I believe Ill sit down said Secre
tary Stanton and give that man a
piece of my mind
Do so said Lincoln write him
now while you have it on your mind
Make it sharp Cut him all up
Stanton did not need a second Invi
tation It was a bone crusher that he
read to the president
Thats right said Lincoln thats
a good one
Who can I send It by mused the
Send It replied Lincoln send
it Why dont send it at all Tear it
up You have freed your mind on the
subject and that is all that is neces
sary Tear it up You never want
to send such letters I never do
A Discrepancy
Two sailors one Irish the other Eng
lish agreed to take care of each other
in case of either being wounded In the
battle of Trafalgar It was not long
before the Englishmans leg was shot
off by a cannon ball and Faddy took
him up to carry him to the doctor ac
cording to their agreement but had
scarcely got his companion on his back
when a second ball struck off the poor
fellows head Paddy through the noise
and bustle had not perceived his
friends last misfortune but continued
to make the best of his way to the sur
geon An officer observing him with
the headless trunk asked him whero
he was going To the doctor says
Paddy The doctor says the officer
Why the man has lost his head n
hearing this the Irishman laid the body
down and looked at it attentively
Thats strange he said more than
strange Why he told me twas his
Th Water Sellers Coffee Makers and
Fakirs of the Streets
The most numerous and also the
most Interesting of street figures In
Cairo are the water sellers some of
whom go about with hideous looking
goatskins filled Avltli Nile water
Others carry more Inviting looking
reddish clay jars decorated with brass
bands and these jars often have a
piece of ice at their mouth and a sprig
of mint protruding on either side of
tee ice The carrier with the goatskin
calls out his mission but the other
with the jar carries in his left hand
two brass saucers which he clinks to
gether with a sort of musical jingle
The water In either case Is not filtered
but is taken straight from the Nile
and the purchasers are all natives
who pay a fraction of a penny for all
they are able to drink
The street sellers of coffee are every
where squatting about on the pave
ments In the most unexpected places
Their outfits comprise merely a kettle
of charcoal a small copper coffee cup
with a long handle two or three small
bowls of china and a supply of coffee
and sugar It takes one only a few
minutes to brew a fresh cup and as
Turkish coffee goes that brewed by
the street seller is not really bad
The ever present conjurer is worth
stopping to watch although the tricks
are in most part generally on the or
der of conjurers tricks in other coun
tries The most interesting part of
their paraphernalia is their sign which
is a small live rabbit The moment
the performance begins the little ani
mal rolls over to all appcaram os dead
but Avhen some ten iniurUs later all
of the tricks have been done some of
which are admittedly more or less
puzzling up jumps the little rabbit as
chipper and gay as ever It is claimed
that the ego of the rabbit leaves the
body for the express purpose of assist
ing the conjurer and one for a mo
ment is inclined to give credence to
this while watching the performance
and after having seen the rabbit go
into its trance Harriet Quimby in
Leslies Weekly
The Scheme by Which Its Inhabitants
Fooled King John
This name Gotham was first applied
to the city of Manhattan in a book of
humorous sketches called Salmagun
di written about 1807 by Washington
Irving in collaboration with his broth
er Peter and the poet Paulding
It was evidently Intended to suggest
that the people of New York made un
due pretensions to wisdom and that
there were both satire and wit in the
suggestion Is shown by the story of
the original Gothamites Gotham was
a parish in Nottinghamshire England
The old story tells how King John
wished to pass through the parish but
the people there fancying that the
passage of the king over a route made
It a public road decided to prevent the
transit by all pretending to be crazy
Therefore when the king and his party
arrived they found every one of the
inhabitants employed in some peculiar
ly foolish task Thus a group were
joining hands around a thorn bush to
keep a cuckoo from getting away some
were trying to drown an eel others
dipping water with a sieve and so on
When the king saw these perform
ances he swore at the people for a
pack of idiots and turning departed
with all his retinue says tho House
keeper The Gothamites were delight
ed with the success of their scheme for
turning aside the king regarding it as
superlatively clever
After this Gotham came to have the
reputation of being a sort of headquar
ters for conceited fools In the time of
Henry VIII a book entitled The Mer
ry Tales of the Mad Men of Gotham
was published Among these was the
story of the Three Wise Men of
Gotham one of whose exploits was to
go to sea in a bowl
A Tempest In a Teapot
The expression a tempest in a tea
pot is one of great antiquity Its
first historic appearance is in the De
Legibus of Cicero who quotes It as a
common saying Gratidius raised a
tempest in a ladle as the saying is
The French form Une tempete dans
uue verre deau a tempest in a glass
of water was first applied to the dis
turbances in the Geneva republic near
the end of the seventeenth century In
England the word teapot was sub
stituted for the sake of alliteration It
is said to have been popularized by
Lord North who employed it to char
acterize the outbreak of the American
colonists against the tax on tea Bos
ton Post
His Slim Chance
You can answer me one more ques
tion perhaps Miss Bute said Archie
mortified at her refusal Is there any
other man
There is every other man sir she
responded Avith flashing eyes You
would be absolutely the last Mr
As there appeared to be no further
business before the house Archie has
tily adjourned without form Chicago
Her Bread
Mean thing exclaimed Mrs New
liwed Its just brutal of you to call
it this stuff You said youd be glad
If I baked my own bread
Yes dear replied the great brute
but I didnt say I wanted you to bake
mine Philadelphia Press
Newed Dont you believe marriage
broadens a man Oldwed Well I
dont know about that but it usually
makes him shorter Cleveland Plain
In tho county court of Red Willow county
In tho nintter of the estate of Edgar II Ev
ans deceased
On rending and filing the petition of J E Kol
lcy praying that the instnunmit tiled on tho fith
day of July K07 and purporting to bo a duly
authenticated cony of tho lust will and testa
ment of tho sifid deceased may bo proved ap
proved probated allowed and recorded us tlio
last will and testniuent of tho said Edgar II
Evans deceased late of Roston Massachusetts
Ordered that July JO lJO at one oclock p
in is assigned for hearing said petition and all
person s interested in said matter may appear
at the county court to be held in and for said
county and show cause why tlio prater of said
petitioner should not be granted and it is fur
ther ordered that notice of the pendency of said
petition and tho hearing thereof bo given to all
persons interested in said matter by publishing
a copy of this order in tho McCook Tribune a
weekly newspajer printed in said county for
three successive weeks prior to said duto of
Dated July S 1jOT
J C Mourn
seal County Judge
Department of tlio Interior hind ollico at
Lincoln Neb July l 1107
Notice is hereby given that Anton fiiesport of
St Ann Neb has filled notice of his intention
to make final five year proof in support of his
claim viz Homestead Entry No VZXVi made
August 18 It for the SEi4 NX and Lots
Section Township 5 n Range 30 w and that
said jiroof will Ih inndo before tho Clerk of
District Court at McCook Nebraska on August
17 1107 Ho names the following witnesses to
prove his continuous residence upon and culti
vation of tho hind viz Jo eph Anderjo kn
John Thomas Fitzgibbons John
lirauii all of St Ann Nebraska
7-12-fit Ciiah F Sunni Register
William If Trinkles
Trinkles his wife
1rst real name unknown defendants will take
notice that on tho 15th day of July 1J07 Jane E
Whitney plaintiif filed her petition against said
defendants and Frank Whitney defendant in
tho district court of Red Willow county Ne
braska the object and prayer of which are to
foreclose a certificate of tax sale issued Dec 4
1101 to plaintilT upon payment by plaintiff of
the delinquent taxes on the following described
premises commencing 100 feet south of tho
north east corner of lot 4 block 10 in West Mc
Cook of Red Willow county Nebraska accord
ing to the recorded plat thereof thence west 110
feet thenco south 100 feet thence east 1IU teot
thence north 100 feet to tho pinto of beginning
for the years lSisJ to lKX inclusive and to fore
close the taxes paid under said certificate on
said premises for tho years 1102 to 10 inclusive
that there is duo thereon tho sum of 1331 and
plaintiif prays that sho bo decreed to havo first
lien upon said real estate therefor and 10 ier
cent thereof as attorneys fees for a degreo fore
closing siiid lien and that said premises be
decreed to ho sold to satisfy tho amount duo
thereon and that defendants first aforesaid he
compelled to set up in said action whatever
interest they claim in said premises or ho for
ever barred of any interest therein and for
general relief
You are required to answer said petition on
or before Monday tho 2ttth day of August lJ07
Dated July 15 1107
Jane E Whitney Plaintiir
t By W S Morlaii Her Attorney
The partnership hitherto existing between J
O Hammond and A G Rump under the title of
Tho McCook Cement Stone Co has been dis
solved All accounts are due and payable to
either Mr Hammond or Mr Rump Claims
against tho company must bo presented within
thirty davs J O Hammond
McCook Neb July 18 1007 A G Rump
Feb 30
There Is such a date as Feb 30 If one
only happens to be in the right place
at the right time This date was actu
ally recorded says London Notes and
m ries during the voyage of the Pa
cLo Mall companys steamer Siberia
from Yokohama to San Francisco in
February 1901 It is well known that
in order to make the number of sun
rises and sunsets actually experienced
in a voyage round the world agree
with the calendar as kept in any one
spot an extra day has to be Interca
lated or heaved overboard accord
ing to the direction in which one is
traveling The adjustment is made at
the time of crossing the one hundred
and eightieth meridian which runs
somewhat to the west of the midway
point between Japan and the Pacific
coast of America hence the passen
gers had a day to themselves In a par
ticularly exclusive sense
All ladies appreciate suggestions for
receipts patterns and formulas by other
ladies because the ideas are practical
The Weekly Inter Ocean prints Beven
columns of such information each week
This paper is 100 a year but subscrib
ing through the Tribune the two papers
will cost only SlOb
A stone house Is not as durable as
one that Is built of brick A brick
house well constructed will outlast
one built of granite
A F 4 A M
McCook Lodgo No 135 A Ffc A M moots
every first and third Tuesday of tho mouth at
800 p in in Masonic hall
Chahles L Fahnehtock W M
Lon Conk Sec
McCook Lodge No 3 D of II meota ovory
second nud forth Fridays of each month atSKW
p in in Gmischows hall
Mas Laura Osiiukn C of II
Mas MattibG Wells Rec
McCook Anrio No 1511 F O E inooUi tlio
second and fourth Wednonlajs of each month
atSU pm in iantchows hall Social meet
ings ou the llrbt ami third Wednesdays
W II Cummins V Pre
II P Ieteuson W Sec
Eureka Chapter No feti O E S moots tho
second and fourth Fridays of each mouth at
800 p in in Masonic hall
Mrs Sarah E Kay W M
Sylvester Cokdeal Sec
McCook Council No 1120 K of C moots tho
first nud third Tuesdays of each month atSC0
p in in Ganschows hall
C J Ryan G K
F G Lechleiter F Sec
McCook Lodge No 42 K of P moots every
Wednesday atS30 p in in Masonic hall
J F Coudeal C C
C W Barnes K R 5
St John Commnndery No lt K T meets ou
the second Thursday of each month at S00 p
in in Musouic hall
Emerson Hanson EC
Sylvester Cordeal Rec
locomotive engineers
McCook Division No 7J3 11 of L I J meets
overy first and third Saturday of each mouth at
8 00 in Horrys hall
McCook Lodgo No 5W II of L F it K
meetsevory Saturdayat800 i in iu Gana
chows hall
W II Pennington M
W S Rixler Soc
modern woodmen
Noble Camp No CC3 M W A moots overy
second and fourth Thursday of each mouth at
830 p in in Ganschows hall
John Hunt V O
Harney Hofer Clerk
odd fellows
McCook Lodgo No 137 1 O O F meets ovory
Monday at 800 p in iu Ganschows hall
E II Doan N O
Scott Doan Soc
p e o
Chapter X P E O meets tho second aLd
fourth Saturdays of each month at tiiO p in
at the homes of the various members
Mrs C W Britt Pros
Mrs J G Sciiobel Cor Sec
railway conductors
Harvey Division No 97 O R C meets the
Becond and fourth Sundays of each month at
300 p m in Berrys hall
Joe Hegenberger C Cou
M O McClure Sec
C W Broason Lodgo No 487 B of R T
meets every Friday at 800 p in in Berrys
II WConoveeM
F J Hcston Sec
King Cyrns Chapter No 35 R A M meets
overy first and third Thursday of each month at
S 00 p m in Masonic hall
Clarence B Gray II P
Clinton B Sawyer Sec
Noble Camp No 62 R N A meets every
second and fourth Thursday of each month at
230 p m in Ganschows hall
Mes Maey Walker Oracle
Mrs Adgdsta Anton Rec
r s M
Council Nol6RSSMmcetSOn
the last Saturday of each month at S0Q pm
in Masonic hall
Ralph A Hagiierg T I M
Syvlestee Cordeal Sec
McCook Lodgo No 61 AOUW meets every
Monday at 800 p m in Berrys hall
Web Stephens M W
C B Gray Rec
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Address JHE WEEKLY STAR Kansas City Mo
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