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IN A NEW CLASS
Magglos Ralso In Wages Brought Un
expected Rosults
Mrs JJaker n well to do lady in one
of the Kulnirbs of a large eastern city
was fortunate lu having an excellent
servant Maggie wan capable iulck
and good natured Most of the ladyH
friends were less fortunate In fact
few of them were without their distinct
trials At all the fashionable gather
ings the conversation turned like a
needle to the pole straight to the sub
ject of servants
Mrs Italccr said very little for she
had often noticed that an announce
ment of perfect satisfaction In the do
mestic line was frequently followed
later on by a second announcement to
the effect that the perfect maid had
been offered higher wages by Mrs So-and-so
and had gone to get them
Therefore Mrs Raker followed RrVr
Rabbits tactics of layln low
More than this she decided to be
very diplomatic She would offer Mag
gie more wages herself and thus secure
her before any one else had a chance
She was pleased with her plan
Now Maggie she said the next
morning youve been very faithful
and cheerful during this hot summer
and through Dorothys Illness and I
like your work so well that Im going
to raise your wages from 3 to 5
Maggie thanked her and Mrs Raker
smiled at the thought of her own as
tuteness
On Monday morning a few days lat
er she had occasion to visit her kitch
en after breakfast Instead of encoun
tering the usual smell of suds and
steam she found Maggie seated at the
table
Why wheres the washing she
asked Whats the matter Are you
111
Oh no mum replied Maggie airily
I aint sick Rut none of the girls as
gets 0 does any washing The six dol
lar girls has it done for um you
know
Mrs Raker has not tried any more
diplomatic plans Youths Companion
HUMOR OF LONDON CABBIES
Some of Their Remarks When the Tip
Is Not Forthcoming
Some of the hansom fraternity of
Loudon have no sense of humor but
the majority are decidedly facetious
says London Tit Rits Here are some
examples of witty and sarcastic cab
byisnis
To appreciate them properly it must
be understood that the fare has offered
a single shilling in payment for a ride
just within the two mile limit
Are you quite sure you can spare
this remarks the cabby with a bump
of humor Dye think youll be able
to rub along on the other nineteen till
next Friday Its goin the pace
ykuow
If youll take my tip guvnor runs
another form of gentle reproach youll
go and see an oculist You ailed this
bus by mistake You wants a red or
green or yellow bus RIack aint In
your line at all
Thank yer govnor says another
cabby with apparent emotion thank
yer kindly Yer offer is well meant
but I couldnt go for to do it Saying
which he makes a pretense of handing
the shilling back to the astonished
fare Rut I cant sell him guvnor
and thats a fact Yer andsome hof
ferd make me rich for life but I tell
yer I cant sell Mm
One cabby who was an excellent ac
tor on receiving his shilling burst Into
tears and between his loud sobs jerked
out Im sorry you force it on me
guvnor I am really The hincome tax
peoplell be down on me now
An excellent cabbyism was perpe
trated in the suburbs one night As
the fare let himself Into the house he
was regaled somewhat as follows
Go in quietly sir in case the old wo
man wakes up and ears me drivin
away She might stop the rest of yer
pocket money for this extravagance
A Bit of Superstition
Superstition is by no means dead
even in ultra civilized England says
London Answers One Sunday a few
months ago an interesting proof of
this fact was seen in the parish church
of Sutcombe in north Devon A
woman who suffered from epilepsy sat
in the porch as the congregation came
out from morning service and thirty
married men who at her request had
attended church passed her one by
one As they passed each dropped a
penny In her lap The thirtieth took
the pennies and gave the woman a
balf crown which was to be made into
a ring for her to wear Vain supersti
tion you exclaim Yet another
woman also a martyr to epileptic fits
who went through the same ceremony
at the same place nineteen years ago
has never since suffered
His Head and the Psalm
Qhe Rev C N Wright Wardie vicar
age Rochdale for a personal reminis
cence writes In my third living
there was a very crowded congrega
tion the first morning I officiated The
parishioners were evidently curious as
to the build color of hair etc of their
new vicar As a matter of fact I was
though a young man very bald- A lit
tle thought would have caused me to
make my first appearance on any
morning but the Sth but it was the
Eth and In the Fsalms which were
read and not sung I had to say My
sins are more In number than the
hairs of my head London Graphic
A Weigh Off
I want to get a pair of scales re
marked the customer Have you the
ambuscade make
Whats the ambuscade inquired
the clerk
Well returned the customer I am
given to understand that theyre the
kind which lie in weight Rohemlan
i --
iiyw SnDfp
Count Okuma
The Japanese
Grand Old Man
WV V TT AT lu tlw fnnllri nlvMlt
w
14H1 lil lIJ iUWIlllH 4UVUV
America lu Japan and
What Is the feeling about
Japan in America are
two questions that are being asked
with a good deal of frequency in the
respective countries and the answers
are various Japan is not looking for
trouble says Henry W Denlson
American adviser to the Japanese for
eign office They want war with us
feeling that they would win says an
American who has lived fourteen
years In Japan in a private letter to a
well known New Yorker At a ban
quet In Tokyo recently Vice Admiral
Matsumoto stated that Japan would
not reach the highest round of the lad
der until she had had a war with Eng
land or America adding that he pre
ferred America and thought that in a
quick war Japan would soon compel
her adversary to seek terms of peace
On the other hand the words of
friendship spoken by General Kurokl
in Ids tour of the United States had a
sincere sound and most people In tills
country were disposed to take them at
their face value The fact that the
anti Japanese agitation on the Pacific
coast originating in the San Francisco
school incident was fanned into flame
again by the riots in which Japanese
workmen and restaurant keepers were
attacked is by many held to show that
the nation will have the Japanese
problem to face In some form for a
good while to come The situation
gives a new interest to the characters
of the leading Japanese statesmen and
awakens curiosity as to their attitude
toward foreigners especially our own
nation Much weight is attached under
these circumstances to the views of Ja
pans grand old man Count Shlge
nobu Okuma ex premier and up to a
few months ago active leader of the
Progressive party Count Okuma while
the Avar with Russia was In progress
expressed the opinion that If the Japa
nese won it thejr would seek by ob
servance of the utmost courtesy and
cordiality toward foreigners to
JAPANESE SECTION OP OKTJMAS HOME
lish and beautify the position they had
won by force of arms He declared
that his countrymen were a peaceful
rather than an aggressive race that
the Chinese were absolutely unaggres
sive and that there was no such thing
as a real yellow peril
Recently his party has taken an atti
tude of opposition to the government
as to its friendly policy with America
Count Okuma though no longer the
active leader of the Progressive party
Is still consulted by it as of yore The
present situation puts him in a position
more or less antagonistic to America
Count Okuma is likened by Henry
George Jr who visited him a short
time ago to the statesman whom the
Democrats of America regard as the
founder of their party Thomas Jeffer
son His political followers resort to
his home at Waseda in the outskirts
of Tokyo much as Jeffersons follow
ers used to go to Monticello for their
leaders advice Like Jefferson he is a
man of fine personal tastes of culture
and fortune the founder of a univer
sity and in private life somewhat of
an aristocrat yet is democratic in his
political teachings He regards with
concern the concentration of wealth
and of population and the sinister in
fluence of trusts In the interview
with Mr George he cited the fact that
the Mitsui and Iwasakl families the
Vanderbilts and Astors of Japan had
fortunes of about 1000000 each about
thirty years ago and this was thought
a very large sum at the time but they
have since increased to about 30000
000 each Count Okuma who has now
rounded his seventieth year was a
poor boy and In becoming rich has not
forgotten what it means to be pool
having used his wealth in many ways
for the benefit of his countrymen Ha
lives the simple life and his residence
is by no means the kind of a house an
average American of his wealth and
station would choose as a home It
has two sections one Japanese the
other European The latter Is carpeted
with a large leather covered divan in
the center and comfortable chairs of
various kinds scattered about There
are tables and bookcases and similar
furniture The Japanese section Is j
what Americans would call very plain
and has sliding screens and papered t
windows The home Is surrounded
however like every typical Japanese
home with a beautiful flower garden
Across the street from his estate is the
University of Waseda which he found-
ed and endowed Though out of poll-
Ucs as an American would say- the i
jount is still a great power In the land
ind his advice Is sought by his ruler
PAPAS STORY
His Attempt to Tell It Whilo Trying to
Put Robert Asleop
Papa
Well
Tell me a story
Ill tell you Just one If you will
promise to go to sleep
My pajamas dont feel good
Dont think about them Ill tell
you a story but one will be all
Mr Todd sat beside the bed and be
gan
Once there was a little ooy
Whats his name
I forget
Didnt he have any name
Yes to be sure he had Dont inter
rupt me Robert
Then what was It
Why his name was his name was
Julius
Julias a girls name
This boys name was Julius not
Julia He was named for Julius Cae
sar
I know something about Julius
Caesar Robert exclaimed sitting up
suddenly and quoting
Julius Caesar
Was a wise old geezer
But he froze off Ills feet
In a Ice cream freezer
Where did you ever hear such a
thing as that
Alfred Potts told it to mo
Well dont you ever let me hear
you use that word geezer again Now
go to sleep
Rut you didnt tell me the story
All right This isnt about Julius
Caesar at all Julius Caesar was a
king and he died a long time ago
When he froze Ids feet off papa
He didnt freeze his feet That is
a piece of silliness Alfred Fotts told
you
What is a piece of silliness papa
Dont ask me such foolish questions
Settle down and go to sleep or Ill go
back downstairs and leave j ou alone
Papa my pajamas dont feel good
I told you not to think about them
Now listen and Ill tell you about this
little boy He went out one day and
saw
Was his name Julius
Yes yes Mr Todd answered IIu
name was Julius and he
Did he die a long time ago
No Julius Caesar died a long time
ago This boy didnt
Where does he live now
I dont know Re still
Howd you know whats his name
then
Well he lives he lives in a town
somewhere And one day he went out
and saw a tree that was simply full of
birds The birds
What did the birds do
The birds sang of course
What did they sing
They sang songs Now if you want
me to tell jTou this story you will have
to be quiet So this boy looked up at
the birds and
My pajamas dont feel good
They never Avill feel good If jou
dont stop thinking about them So
this boy looked up at the birds and
he was a bad boy and he thought it
would be smart to throw a stone at
them
Did he
Yes he threw a stone at the poor
little birds
And what did the stone do
It made the birds fly And then
Papa
Well
What did the fly do
What fly
The fly it made the birds into
Robert Gallahue Todd I am going
downstairs and if you are not asleep
in two minutes I shall punish you
Mr Todd strode from the room and
at the stairs he halted at the sight of
a woman sitting on the top step with
her face In her hands and her shoul
ders and sides shaking It was his
wife Wilbur Nesbit in Success Mag
azine
Some Famous Dunces
Nathaniel Hawthorne was the dunce
of his class Walter Scott was told by
his professor that he was a dunce Roth
Napoleon and Wellington were dull
boys at school and when Clive won
Plassy his father said he did not think
the boobj had so much sense Chal
mers the leader of the disruption was
expelled from his school as an incorri
gible dunce Chatterton was sent liome
as a fool and Leigh Hunt was con
sidered beyond all hope Isaac New
ton the great oriental scholar Sir Wil
liam Jones nl Robert Morrison who
compiled the immortal Chinese Rible
and dictionary were all regarded as
extremely dull boys Minneapolis
Journal
Two Duels
Sainte Reuve got an excellent adver
tisement out of a duel fought on a
wet day by insisting upon holding his
umbrella up with one hand while he
fired his pistol with the other He was
willing he courageously said to take
the risk of being shot but he must be
excused from taking the greater risk
of catching cold
The duel which Renjamin Constant
who suffered from gout fought sitting
in a Rath chair may have been of
somewhat similar character Honor in
that case was declared to be satisfied
when the Rath chair was hit Strand
Magazine
Dangerous
Father What are you doing Emma
Daughter Oh Arthur is coming to
night and Im cooking something for
him Father Emma Emma youd
better be careful Youll keep on cook
ing for him till he breaks the engage
ment Heitere Welt
It takes a lot of courage on the part
of a young man to tell a girl how pret
ty some other girl is St Louis Globe
Democrat
MOSLEM ETIQUETTE
Always Be In Good Humor and Talk
Pleasant Things
Here are some Interesting Mussul
man Injunctions of conviviality says
the Loudon Lancet The honor of be
ing served first belongs to the Invited
guest who Is in the possession of any
high title or who has in any way or
sphere distinguished himself If the
host himself Is the oldest in the com
pany or has any high decoration of
merit he must first begin the meal
without delay in order not to let the
others unduly wait It shows bad up
bringing to be in a melancholy mood at
table or to speak of disagreeable things
or to engage in Inappropriate discus
sions on matters of religious piety
Foremost of all one must always be in
good humor and talk of pleasant things
as did the prophet himself
You must always help yourself from
the side of the dish nearest to you and
never try to find out the best bits
which ought to be left for other guests
If one of the invited has not much ap
petite you must ask him up to three
times with some kind chosen words to
partake of the meals A longer insist
ence would cause ennui and would be
most inappropriate You must never
stop eating before others because in
doing so you will embarrass them and
cause them to finish quickly in imitat
ing you
Never eat gluttonously but also nev
er attempt to conceal your good appe
tite Always eat little by little Exag
gerated compliments are always mis
placed The hosts duty Is to make his
guests fool as comfortable as possible
encouraging the timid and shy It is
contrary to good taste to address and
to fix the attention of a guest when he
Is eating Even if the host is not ac
customed to eat much he must always
try not to finish before others Should
any dish be forbidden to him by his
medical attendant he certainly must
not partake of it but must at the same
time excuse himself before his guests
It is absolutely necessary to avoid ev
ery movement or gesture which is apt
to create disgust
A GOOD LAWN
The Best Way to Prepare the Ground
and Sow the Seed
A good lawn may be made either by
laying sod or growing seed If turf
Is used the lawn Is sometimes ready
for use in less time than when seed is
used but practically the difference is
very slight Fewer lawns are made
from turf every year The turf or soil
is nearly always obtained from a near
by field It abounds in coarse grasses
and pernicious weeds The former
may be got rid of after considerable
trouble but the latter rarely ever Sod
laid lawns are nearly always uneven
seamy and varied in color and texture
Their cost too is much in excess of
seeding the lawn down
A lawn produced from a mixture of
good now recleaned seeds of the finer
grasses and clovers is superior In qual
ity and texture to the best sod obtain
able To obtain the best results from
sowing the ground should be carefully
dug over not too deep six to eight
inches will be enough and nicely lev
eled off then sow on broadcast a good
fertilizer GOO pounds to the acre or
about ten pounds to every 15 by 15
square feet Rake this In and roll it
or flatten it with the back of a spade
then sow seventy pounds of some good
lawn seed to the acre or one pound
to every 15 by 15 feet Sow half this
quantity walking one way and half
walking at right angles to it so as to
get even distribution Do not sow in
windy weather and be sure to rake
the seed in and after sowing roll it
well or beat it flat with the spade
Those seeds that are deeply buried
will not germinate and those that are
exposed will be scorched by the sun
blown or washed away or taken by
the birds Whenever necessary to sow
in summer it is better to mix with rye
or oats to protect the tender shoots
from the hot sun Suburban Life
The Coney of the Bible
There is a queer little rock animal
found in thousands in all parts of Cape
Colony South Africa and called by the
Dutch daasje pronounced in Eng
lish dassie This little creature ha
many other names such as the coney
daman rock badger and rock rabbit
It is found also in Syria and is really
the coney of the Rible for one of the
psalms contains this verse The high
hills are a refuge for the wild goats
and the rocks for the conies while in
the book of Proverbs we read The co
nies are but a feeble folk yet make
they their houses in the rocks The
South African daasje is a pretty gray
furry creature merry and sun loving
and when taken young makes a charm
ing pet Amy Sutherland in St Nich
olas
The Drawback
Mile Yictorine confides to the jan
tors wife that her mistress who is old
and feeble has promised to remember
her in her will if she takes good care
of her till she dies The janitors wife
shrugs her shoulders
The worst of that is my dear that
the better you take care of her the
longer youll have to wait for your
legacy Paris Journal
Both Out and In
The Needy One I say old man
could you lend me a dollar for a day
or two The Other One My dear fel
low the dollar I lend is out at present
and Ive several names down for it
when It comes back Harpers Weekly
impertinent
When I was coming home last
night said Miss Skeery I saw a man
skulking along in the shadow Oh
how I ran An couldnt you catch
him inquired her little brother in
nocently Cleveland Leader
I No Tyranny of Circumstances I
r
v
Can Permanently Imprison a Determined Will
If you are really drtorminod to gut ahead to accumulate Homo
thing to be one of tbeHohd financial men of the community you vnti do it
Just a Itttlo self denial and the conserving of your income until
you havo enough to irnko nn investment then keep your money work
ing for yon
Even if your present income is small you can start u bank ac
count and build up for tho investment Start now
Safety Deposit Boxes SI per Year
I First National Bank -- McCook Nebraska
Make your friend a birthday present of some
Monogram
Stationery
We have an excellent line of samples from
which you can choose embossed in one
or two colors or in bronze or gold any
letters or combination of letters Call and
see samples of the monograms and stock
The TRIBUNE Office
V FRANKLIN JAS S DOYLE
Wonderiui ompound Cures Piles
Skin Itching Skin Erup
tions Cuts and Bruises
v best ski
treatment and the cheapest because so
little is required to cure It cures piles
after years of torture It cures obstinate
cases of eczema It cures all skin itch
ing It cures skin eruptions It heals
cuts bruises scratches and abrasions
without leaving a scar It cures perma
nently Grateful testimony proves it
Mrs Mary York of 340 North Topeka
avenue Wichita Kan ssys I still
have the same faith in Doans Ointment
that I had four years ago I use it oc
casionally and find that it always gives
the same satisfactory results Off and
on for thirty years I was annoyed with
tetter or salt rheum as some call it on
my hands They would scale over and
then break out little bunches appearing
and the itching would be so intense I
could not resist rubbing the parts and J
this irritated them and made them worse
I tried nearly everything recommanded
to such annoyances and consulted doc
tors but in spite of all I obtained little
if any relief until I learned of Doans
Ointment and procured it Its use
promptly stopped the itching and healed
the sores When cold weather sets in I
often notice a return of the trouble but
I can always rely upon Doans Ointment
to give positive relief Im indeed grate
ful for the benefit I have received from
this preparation
For sale by all dealers Price 50
cents Foster Milburn Co Buffalo N
1 sole agents for the United States
Remember the name Doans and
take no other
We have arranged with The Weekly
fnter Ocean so that our patrons can
secure that sterling paper together with
own at the exceedingly low price of
05 for one year This is a rare op-
- unity and should be taken
1 age of
j
WWVWWV
V FRANKLIN President A C EBERT Cashier
JAS S DOYLE Vice President
THR
CITIZENS BANK
OF McCOOK NEB
Paid Up Capital 50000 Surplus S 1 2000
DIRECTORS
A C EBERT
SSQSSVSS9S brv
The McCook Tribune
WORKS WONDERS
1 Per Year
Dk a d finch
OSTEOPATHIC PHYSICISTS
and OPTICIAN
Office days Tuesdays Wednes
days Thursdays and Saturdays
Office in Post Office Bldg -
E F OS BORN J W WENT5
OSBORN WENTZ
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Prompt Service
Courteous Treatment -Reasonable
Price
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4
Seeil
IsMierai
i
If you will figure with us ancr
quality of material is any object
you will be easily convincedthai
we out class all competition
