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The Tribune
f
F M KIMMELL Publisher
MCOOK
NEBRASKA
1l
HEARTS
M
AND
ASKS
By
HAROLD MacGRATH
AuthorofTheManon the Box etc
With Drawings by Harrison Fisbcr
Copyright 1903 by BobbsJIerrill Co
CHAPTER V Continued
Here was a burglar with the sense
of humor
What can I do for you I asked
blandly
Firstly as they say you might tell
me what you and this lady are doing
In this lonesome cellar
Say sir when you address me
Yes sir
The lady and I were playing hide-and-seek
Nice game sir grinning Were
you trying to hide under the coal
Oh no I was merely exploring it
Say sir when you address me
Sir
Youre a cool hand sir
I am gratified to learn that our ad
miration is mutual But what are you
doing here
I was ascertaining if the law was
properly observed sir shaking with
silent laughter
But what puzzles me I went on
is the fact that you could gather the
gems in that garb For I was posi
tive that this was the Galloping Dick
every one was looking for
I dont understand a word you say
sir Im an inspector of cellars sir
not a jeweler So you and the lady
was playing hide-and-seek Come
now what is your graft Is all the
push here to night
That depends cursing under my
breath that I wore a gown which ham
pered my movements For truth to
tell I was watching him as a cat
watches a mouse
Well sir we of the profession
never interferes with gentlemanly
jobs sir All I want of you is to help
me out of here
I am not a burglar
Oh I understand sir I understand
completely A gentleman is always
a gentleman sir Now you can re
turn to that coal bin I was just about
to make for it when you lit that can
dle
Why not leave by the cellar
doors
I have my reasons sir most satis
factory reasons sir I prefer the win
dow Get along his tones suddenly
hardening
I got along
The lady may sit down sir he
said courteously
Thank you I will replied the girl
plumping down on an empty winecase
She afterward confessed that if she
had not sat down on the box she would
have sat down on the cellar floor as a
sort of paralysis had seized her knees
I stepped into the coal bin and rested
the candle on the little shelf for that
purpose I was downright anxious to
see the fellow safely away There
wasnt room in that cellar for the
three of us His presence doubly en
dangered us and multiplied the com
plications I was in no position to
force the gems from him A man who
has ten thousand dollars worth of
jewels on his person doesnt stop at
shooting and I possessed a healthy
regard for my skin I opened the win
dow and caught it to the ceiling by a
hook I found there
There is a stout screen my man
Take this sir and cut it out
handing me a pair of wire clippers
holding his lantern under his arm
meanwhile The muzzle of the re
volver during all this time never
wavered in its aim at my head
I went to work at the screen and
presently it fell inward
Is that satisfactory with im
pressive irony
You are the most perfect gentle
man that I ever see sir
The girl laughed hysterically
Now what The fun was begin
ning to pall on me
Step out of the bin and stand aside
Sit down by the lady Maybe shes a
bit frightened
I obeyed him to the letter
Thanks With the agility of a
cat he leaped up and wriggled through
the window He turned Go6d night
sir Sometime maybe Ill do the same
for you sir
Go to the devil I snarled
My my What a temper sir I
wouldnt have thought it of you and a
nice lady in speaking distance
He disappeared
The girl laid a hand on my arm
You have acted very sensibly Mr
Cornstalk If you had not it is quite
certain he would have shot you
It would have been a good thing
for me if he had He has gone and
the jewels have gone with him I
hadnt the least chance the wretch
He probably came disguised as a
plumber and nobody suspected him
But if he possessed the ten of
hearts why should he have left this
way
Possibly my idea was only an imi
tation of his There must have been
at least a dozen tens of hearts My
dear young lady I would give a good
1 deal if you were well out of this I
believed my plan was for the best and
instead I have simply blackened the
case against us I have been too ad
vepturous The situation looks very
serious just now Of course In the
long run we shall clear ourselves
but it will take some fine arguing to
do it and possibly half a dozen law
yers
It is a terribly embarrassing pre
dicament but since we started out
together well hang together She
hold out her hand to me It will be
fun to extricate ourselves with full
honors
Youre a brick And I pressed
her hand tightly
Now I wonder why the burglar
didnt try those cellar doors she
murmured
By Jove Ill soon find out Come
on Theres hope yet
This time we reached the stone
steps without interference I gave the
candle to the girl cautiously put a
shoulder against one of the doors and
gave a gentle heave It was not
locked Through the thin crack I
looked out upon the bright world of
moonshine and crystal Instantly I
permitted the door to settle into its
accustomed place I readily under
stood the burglars reasons Seated
upon a box less than a dozen feet
away and blissfully smoking one of
the clubs cigars sat a burly police
man So they had arrived upon the
scene
What is it asked the girl as I
motioned her to retreat
The worst has come the police
dramatically
Gracious heavens this is frightful
We shall never get out now Oh dear
stairs leading somewhere into the
club It was our last chance or we
should bo obliged to stay all night in
some bin for it would not bo long be
fore they searched the cellars If
this flight led Into the kitchen we
were saved for I could bluff the serv
ants We paused Presently we as
cended side by side with light but
firm step We reached the landing in
front of the door without mishap
From somewhere came a puff of air
which blew out the candle I struck
a match viciously against the wall
and blundered into a string of cooking-pans
It was all over the agony
of suspense
Blang Itumpity - bumpity - blang
blang
I have heard many stage thunders
in my time but that racket beat any
thing and everything this side of siege
guns
Instantly the door opened and a po
liceman poked his head in Before I
had time to move he grabbed me by
the arm and yanked me into the ball
room The girl and 1 had made a
complete circuit of the cellars and
had stumbled into the ball room again
by the flight opposite to that by which
we left it Cheerful prospect wasnt
it The adventure had ceased to have
any droll side to it
Aha cried the base minion of the
law Here you are then Hello
everybody Hello he bawled
Caught Here we were the Blue
Domino and myself the Grey Capu
chin both of hs in a fine fix Dis
covery and ejection I could have stood
with fortitude and equanimity but
there was bad business afoot There
wasnt any doubt in my mind what
was going to happen As the girl said
n si
T mm
What Can I Do for You
Why did I ever come It will be in
the papers with horrid pictures We
ought not to have left the ball room
Our very actions will tell -heavily
against us Awful
Now dont you worry They will
not take any notice of you once they
set eyes upon me Homo sum They
are looking for me Theres only one
superfluous ten of hearts I have it
But I shall be found with you and
the stupid police will swear I am an
accomplice She wrung her hands
But no jewels will be found upon
us I argued half heartedly
They will say we have already dis
posed of them
But the real burglar
They will say that he came into
the cellar at our bidding
This girl was terribly reasonable
and direct
Hang it I know Teddy Hamilton
the M F H Hell go my bail and
yours too for that matter Come
lets not give up There must be
some other way out
I wish I might believe it Why
did I come a bit of a wail stealing
into the anger in her voice
This is Tom Fools Night and no
mistake I assented ruefully
But I am a bigger fool than you
are I had an alibi and a good one
An alibi Why on earth then did
you follow me What is your alibi
Never mind now We should still
be in this miserable cellar briefly
What a night A am so ashamed I
shall be horribly compromised
Ill take the brunt of it all Im
sorry but for the love of Heaven
dont cry or I shall lose what little
nerve I have left
I am not crying she denied em
phatically My inclination is to
shriek with laughter Im hysterical
And who wouldnt be with police of
ficers and cells staring one in the
face Let us be going That police
man outside will presently hear us
whispering if we stand here much
longer
There was wisdom in this So
once again I took the candle and we
marched back There wasnt a sin
gle jest left in my whole system and
it didnt look as if there was ever
going to be another supply We took
the other side of the furnace and at
length came to a flight of wooden
there would be flaring head lines and
horrid pictures We were like to be
the newspaper sensation of the day i you
Arrested and lodged in jail What
would my rich doting old uncle say
to that who had threatened to dis
inherit me for lesser things I felt
terribly sorry for the girl but it was
now utterly impossible to help her foi
I couldnt help myself
And behold The mysterious stran
ger I had met in the curio shop the
fellow who had virtually haunted me
for six hours the fellow who had mas
queraded as Caesar suddenly loomed
up before me still wearing his sardon
ic smile At his side were two more
policemen He had thrown aside his
toga and was in evening dress Hia
keen glance rested on me
Here he is Mr Haggerfty cried
the policeman cheerfully swinging me
around
A detective And Heaven help me
he believed me to be the thief Oh
for Aladdins lamp
CHAPTER VI
I stood with folded arms awaiting
his approach Nonchalance is always
respected by the police I must have
presented a likely picture however
my face blackened with coaldust cob
webs stringing down over my eyes
my Capuchin gown soiled and rent
The girl quietly took her place beside
me
So you took a chance at the eel
lars eh inquired the detective ur
banely Well you look it Will you
go with us quietly or shall we have
to use force
In the first place what do you and
your police want of me I returned
coolly
He exhibited his star of authority
I am Haggerty of the Central Of
fice I want you for several things
Several things I stared at him
stupidly Several things Then it
came to me with a jar like an earth
quake The story in the newspaper
returned to my vision Oh this was
too much altogether too much He
took me to be the fashionable thief
for whom half the New York police
force were hunting My sight swam
for a moment in a blur
To be Continued
WALL PAPER
George and Helen Look Over
Samples
George dear Mrs Sweetleys
voice was soft and persuasive
What is it Helen said Mr Sweet-
ley
I have had a lot of samples of wall
paper sent up this afternoon and here
they are I want you to help me select
jne for the parlors You have such ex
cellent taste Here they are nice large
samples that show the full pattern
The trouble is that several of them
are so pretty it Is hard to select They
do have such lovely wall paper nowa
days Nov please put down your book
and lay aside your cigar and give your
undivided attention to this wall paper
I want to be quite sure that the paper
pleases you I should take no pleasure
in it if it did not What do you think
of this pattern
I dont see but that it is all right
Why George You honestly and
truly wouldnt want that on our parlor
walls I think it is horrid Such a
tiff conventional pattern
O I dont know It seems graceful
to me
Graceful Those great stiff figures
all of the same size graceful I would
not have that paper on the walls if
they would put it on for nothing How
do you like this pattern
Well it seems rather characterless
to me
Characterless My goodness me
think it has ten times the character
of that other pattern Still it is too
lark The parlors are not as well
lighted as I wish they were and this
paper would make them still darker
I was sure that I wouldnt want that
paper when they gave me the sample
What do you think of this pattern
I like that first rate
You do Well now it seems like a
very commonplace pattern to me Just
such a paper as you would be apt to
find on any ones walls I want some
thing well unique and yet not con
spicuously so Something that you
know what I mean My idea is that
wall paper like furniture should in a
certain way reflect the character of
the people in the house It should
have a certain indefinable how do you
like this pattern
I dont like striped wall paper
You dont Why it is very fashion
able and it gives height to a room I
dont like a distinct and positive stripe
but you see that this is not that kind
It is more of a suggestion of a stripe
Still if you do not want a stripe
I do not insist on the paper not hav
ing a stripe in it
But I want the paper to please you
dear and if you hate a stripe I
I didnt say that I hated a stripe
Well I do not want anything that
you even dislike I rather like a stripe
and now they told me at the store
that this paper is being used a great
deal Do you like it
Well yes I think I like it bettei
than any piece you have shown me
Why George Do you It seems
perfectly horrid to me It looks loud
bold brazen And it would simply
kill any picture hung on it That is
something we want to consider the
pictures Then this paper would be
all out of harmony with the rugs in
the parlors It would be a screaming
note of discord all through
Then why did you have a sample
of it sent
Well I thought it would give us a
variety from which to select Now I
like this pattern immensely Dont
Well to tell the honest truth
Helen I do not fancy it
You dont Well now I like it bet
ter than anything I have found yet
and I think that you would grow to
like it The clerk at the store said
that it was so much in demand that
they could hardly supply it fast
enough He said that they put it on
the parlor walls of a perfectly elegant
new house only last week It is some
thing entirely new and I think that it
has a great deal of character and a
certain tone of refinement in it that
still if you do not like it
I do not exactly fancy it but if you
are so taken with it get it by all
means I shall be satisfied with it I
am not in the parlors once in a coons
age anyhow and I dont want to be
there that often Seems to me a par
lor in a house is a kind of chamber of
horrors anyhow Now if you like that
paper have it put right on the walls
and
But not if you dont like it I must
confess that I like it ever so much and
I feel sure you would like it better if
you could see several strips of it hung
side by side as I saw them to day in
the store One cannot get the full ef
fect from a sample not even from a
large sample
I suppose not Just order that
paper and have it over with
But I want you to like it said Mrs
Sweetley amiably
O Ill like it all right said Mr
Sweetley beaming at her
Because continued the lady I
wouldnt take the least bit of pleasure
in it if I felt that you didnt like it I
want the paper to be your choice as
well as mine As I say the effect is
different when you see a lot of it to
gether 1 showed it to Mrs Van Sam
who was callkig here this afternoon
I and she thought it was lovely If you
i think that youd like it dear I
O Ill like it all right I want to
finish this tale before I go to bed
Better telephone in the morning and
have them save the paper for you
I I to tell the truth dear I had
them put it aside to day and they are
going to hang it next week and I am
urp you will like it the walls
Puck
I GOOD PRESCRIPTION
SIMPLE MIXTURE THAT IS SAID
TO BREAK A COLD QUICKLY
Ingredients Can be Easily Purchased
at Little Cost From Any Good
Prescription Druggist and
Mixed at Home
A noted authority on lung trouble ad
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tracted the following simple treatment
should be given The ingredients can
he purchased from any prescription
druggist at small cost and easily pre
pared in your own home It is said to
be so effective that it will break up a
cold in twenty four hours and cure any
cough that is curable
Take a half ounce Virgin Oil of Pine
Pure two ounces of Glycerine and
eight ounces of good Whisky Shako
well and take in teaspoonful doses ever-
four hours
Be sure that the Virgin Oil of Pino
Pure is in the original half ounce
vials which are put up expressly for
druggists to dispense Each vial is se
curely sealed in a round wooden case
with engraved wrapper with the name
Virgin Oil of Pine Pure guaran
teed under the Food and Drug Act
June SO 190G Prepared only by Leach
Chemical Co Cincinnati O plainly
printed thereon Only the adulterated
oils are sold in bulk these create
nausea and never effect the desired re
sults
NEED OF STANDARD WEIGHTS
Wheat Sold by 20 Different Measures
in Great Britain
The advocates of the metric system
want no better justification than
tables just prepared for the year book
of the British Auctioneers institute I
It is learned from this that the price
of wheat is made and the cereal is
sold in 20 different ways in England
Scotland and Wales
It is measured variously by the
quarter comb load boll bushel bar
rel hundredweight cental windle
and hobbet Further confusion is
caused by varying weights of a bushel
in different parts of the country
A boll is three bushels in some
places and four and six in others
There are similar absurd variations
in other weights and measures
For instance a stone of meat is
eight pounds a stone of iron 14
pounds a stone of cheese 16 pounds
and a stone of hemp 32 pounds
There are seven different areas of
the standard acre in Great Britain
The vagaries of liquid measures aro
equally bewildering
VERY BAD FORM OF ECZEMA
Suffered Thrac Years Physicians Did
No Good Perfectly Vell After
Using Cuticura Remedies
I take great pleasure in informing
you that I was a sufferer of eczema in
a very bad form for the past three
years I consulted and treated with
a number of physicians in Chicago
but to no avail I commenced using
the Cuticura Remedies consisting of
Cuticura Soap Ointment and Pills
three months ago and to day I am
prefectly well the disease having left
me entirely I cannot recommend
the Cuticura Remedies too highly to
any one suffering with the disease
that I have had Mrs Florence E
Atwcod IS Crilly Place Chicago 111
October 2 1905 Witness L S
Berger
Typical Soldier of Fortune
Though many of the descendants of
the illustrious Edgar Allan Poe inherit
some of his illustrious instincts it is
probably more marked in the case of
Johnnie Poe who can well be styled
a typical soldier of fortune Mr Poe
belonged to the great Fifth regiment
of Baltimore and served during the
war with Spain after which he went
to the Philippines where he was of
fered a commission for efficient work
For the second time however he re
fused the honor and remained a priv
ate At the expiration of his term he
came back to this country and wan
dered to the famous Death valley and
from there to the Tonopah district
from which he was lured in the late
fall by the call of the gridiron
Oatc Heads 2 Foot Long
The John A Salzer Seed Co La Crosse
Wis are bringing out a new oats this
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Spetz the greatest cereal hay food
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FUEE
Our mammoth 148 page Seed and Tool
Catalog is mailed free to all intending
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John A Salzer Seed Co Bor W La
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Clung to Old Fashions
Augustus Squire for 65 years a
member of the Cutlers company Lon
don whose death in his ninety third
year is announced always burnt can
dles in his house for he would never
have gas or electricity laid on He
never sent a telegram in his life
never used the telephone and hardly
ever rode in a train traveling by bus
j carriage cab or boat
oxzvoarE skosjo qcixixe
That is LAXATIVE IlKOVo Quinine Similarly
named reiiedies sometimes deceive The tlrst and
original Uolct Tablet Is a WHITE IAUliAGfc with
black ami red lenerins and Lcrrs the signature of t
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From the feminine viewpoint an en
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Because of its delicate
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