numwKimmmmaBC The Tribune f F M KIMMELL Publisher MCOOK NEBRASKA 1l HEARTS M AND ASKS By HAROLD MacGRATH AuthorofTheManon the Box etc With Drawings by Harrison Fisbcr Copyright 1903 by BobbsJIerrill Co CHAPTER V Continued Here was a burglar with the sense of humor What can I do for you I asked blandly Firstly as they say you might tell me what you and this lady are doing In this lonesome cellar Say sir when you address me Yes sir The lady and I were playing hide-and-seek Nice game sir grinning Were you trying to hide under the coal Oh no I was merely exploring it Say sir when you address me Sir Youre a cool hand sir I am gratified to learn that our ad miration is mutual But what are you doing here I was ascertaining if the law was properly observed sir shaking with silent laughter But what puzzles me I went on is the fact that you could gather the gems in that garb For I was posi tive that this was the Galloping Dick every one was looking for I dont understand a word you say sir Im an inspector of cellars sir not a jeweler So you and the lady was playing hide-and-seek Come now what is your graft Is all the push here to night That depends cursing under my breath that I wore a gown which ham pered my movements For truth to tell I was watching him as a cat watches a mouse Well sir we of the profession never interferes with gentlemanly jobs sir All I want of you is to help me out of here I am not a burglar Oh I understand sir I understand completely A gentleman is always a gentleman sir Now you can re turn to that coal bin I was just about to make for it when you lit that can dle Why not leave by the cellar doors I have my reasons sir most satis factory reasons sir I prefer the win dow Get along his tones suddenly hardening I got along The lady may sit down sir he said courteously Thank you I will replied the girl plumping down on an empty winecase She afterward confessed that if she had not sat down on the box she would have sat down on the cellar floor as a sort of paralysis had seized her knees I stepped into the coal bin and rested the candle on the little shelf for that purpose I was downright anxious to see the fellow safely away There wasnt room in that cellar for the three of us His presence doubly en dangered us and multiplied the com plications I was in no position to force the gems from him A man who has ten thousand dollars worth of jewels on his person doesnt stop at shooting and I possessed a healthy regard for my skin I opened the win dow and caught it to the ceiling by a hook I found there There is a stout screen my man Take this sir and cut it out handing me a pair of wire clippers holding his lantern under his arm meanwhile The muzzle of the re volver during all this time never wavered in its aim at my head I went to work at the screen and presently it fell inward Is that satisfactory with im pressive irony You are the most perfect gentle man that I ever see sir The girl laughed hysterically Now what The fun was begin ning to pall on me Step out of the bin and stand aside Sit down by the lady Maybe shes a bit frightened I obeyed him to the letter Thanks With the agility of a cat he leaped up and wriggled through the window He turned Go6d night sir Sometime maybe Ill do the same for you sir Go to the devil I snarled My my What a temper sir I wouldnt have thought it of you and a nice lady in speaking distance He disappeared The girl laid a hand on my arm You have acted very sensibly Mr Cornstalk If you had not it is quite certain he would have shot you It would have been a good thing for me if he had He has gone and the jewels have gone with him I hadnt the least chance the wretch He probably came disguised as a plumber and nobody suspected him But if he possessed the ten of hearts why should he have left this way Possibly my idea was only an imi tation of his There must have been at least a dozen tens of hearts My dear young lady I would give a good 1 deal if you were well out of this I believed my plan was for the best and instead I have simply blackened the case against us I have been too ad vepturous The situation looks very serious just now Of course In the long run we shall clear ourselves but it will take some fine arguing to do it and possibly half a dozen law yers It is a terribly embarrassing pre dicament but since we started out together well hang together She hold out her hand to me It will be fun to extricate ourselves with full honors Youre a brick And I pressed her hand tightly Now I wonder why the burglar didnt try those cellar doors she murmured By Jove Ill soon find out Come on Theres hope yet This time we reached the stone steps without interference I gave the candle to the girl cautiously put a shoulder against one of the doors and gave a gentle heave It was not locked Through the thin crack I looked out upon the bright world of moonshine and crystal Instantly I permitted the door to settle into its accustomed place I readily under stood the burglars reasons Seated upon a box less than a dozen feet away and blissfully smoking one of the clubs cigars sat a burly police man So they had arrived upon the scene What is it asked the girl as I motioned her to retreat The worst has come the police dramatically Gracious heavens this is frightful We shall never get out now Oh dear stairs leading somewhere into the club It was our last chance or we should bo obliged to stay all night in some bin for it would not bo long be fore they searched the cellars If this flight led Into the kitchen we were saved for I could bluff the serv ants We paused Presently we as cended side by side with light but firm step We reached the landing in front of the door without mishap From somewhere came a puff of air which blew out the candle I struck a match viciously against the wall and blundered into a string of cooking-pans It was all over the agony of suspense Blang Itumpity - bumpity - blang blang I have heard many stage thunders in my time but that racket beat any thing and everything this side of siege guns Instantly the door opened and a po liceman poked his head in Before I had time to move he grabbed me by the arm and yanked me into the ball room The girl and 1 had made a complete circuit of the cellars and had stumbled into the ball room again by the flight opposite to that by which we left it Cheerful prospect wasnt it The adventure had ceased to have any droll side to it Aha cried the base minion of the law Here you are then Hello everybody Hello he bawled Caught Here we were the Blue Domino and myself the Grey Capu chin both of hs in a fine fix Dis covery and ejection I could have stood with fortitude and equanimity but there was bad business afoot There wasnt any doubt in my mind what was going to happen As the girl said n si T mm What Can I Do for You Why did I ever come It will be in the papers with horrid pictures We ought not to have left the ball room Our very actions will tell -heavily against us Awful Now dont you worry They will not take any notice of you once they set eyes upon me Homo sum They are looking for me Theres only one superfluous ten of hearts I have it But I shall be found with you and the stupid police will swear I am an accomplice She wrung her hands But no jewels will be found upon us I argued half heartedly They will say we have already dis posed of them But the real burglar They will say that he came into the cellar at our bidding This girl was terribly reasonable and direct Hang it I know Teddy Hamilton the M F H Hell go my bail and yours too for that matter Come lets not give up There must be some other way out I wish I might believe it Why did I come a bit of a wail stealing into the anger in her voice This is Tom Fools Night and no mistake I assented ruefully But I am a bigger fool than you are I had an alibi and a good one An alibi Why on earth then did you follow me What is your alibi Never mind now We should still be in this miserable cellar briefly What a night A am so ashamed I shall be horribly compromised Ill take the brunt of it all Im sorry but for the love of Heaven dont cry or I shall lose what little nerve I have left I am not crying she denied em phatically My inclination is to shriek with laughter Im hysterical And who wouldnt be with police of ficers and cells staring one in the face Let us be going That police man outside will presently hear us whispering if we stand here much longer There was wisdom in this So once again I took the candle and we marched back There wasnt a sin gle jest left in my whole system and it didnt look as if there was ever going to be another supply We took the other side of the furnace and at length came to a flight of wooden there would be flaring head lines and horrid pictures We were like to be the newspaper sensation of the day i you Arrested and lodged in jail What would my rich doting old uncle say to that who had threatened to dis inherit me for lesser things I felt terribly sorry for the girl but it was now utterly impossible to help her foi I couldnt help myself And behold The mysterious stran ger I had met in the curio shop the fellow who had virtually haunted me for six hours the fellow who had mas queraded as Caesar suddenly loomed up before me still wearing his sardon ic smile At his side were two more policemen He had thrown aside his toga and was in evening dress Hia keen glance rested on me Here he is Mr Haggerfty cried the policeman cheerfully swinging me around A detective And Heaven help me he believed me to be the thief Oh for Aladdins lamp CHAPTER VI I stood with folded arms awaiting his approach Nonchalance is always respected by the police I must have presented a likely picture however my face blackened with coaldust cob webs stringing down over my eyes my Capuchin gown soiled and rent The girl quietly took her place beside me So you took a chance at the eel lars eh inquired the detective ur banely Well you look it Will you go with us quietly or shall we have to use force In the first place what do you and your police want of me I returned coolly He exhibited his star of authority I am Haggerty of the Central Of fice I want you for several things Several things I stared at him stupidly Several things Then it came to me with a jar like an earth quake The story in the newspaper returned to my vision Oh this was too much altogether too much He took me to be the fashionable thief for whom half the New York police force were hunting My sight swam for a moment in a blur To be Continued WALL PAPER George and Helen Look Over Samples George dear Mrs Sweetleys voice was soft and persuasive What is it Helen said Mr Sweet- ley I have had a lot of samples of wall paper sent up this afternoon and here they are I want you to help me select jne for the parlors You have such ex cellent taste Here they are nice large samples that show the full pattern The trouble is that several of them are so pretty it Is hard to select They do have such lovely wall paper nowa days Nov please put down your book and lay aside your cigar and give your undivided attention to this wall paper I want to be quite sure that the paper pleases you I should take no pleasure in it if it did not What do you think of this pattern I dont see but that it is all right Why George You honestly and truly wouldnt want that on our parlor walls I think it is horrid Such a tiff conventional pattern O I dont know It seems graceful to me Graceful Those great stiff figures all of the same size graceful I would not have that paper on the walls if they would put it on for nothing How do you like this pattern Well it seems rather characterless to me Characterless My goodness me think it has ten times the character of that other pattern Still it is too lark The parlors are not as well lighted as I wish they were and this paper would make them still darker I was sure that I wouldnt want that paper when they gave me the sample What do you think of this pattern I like that first rate You do Well now it seems like a very commonplace pattern to me Just such a paper as you would be apt to find on any ones walls I want some thing well unique and yet not con spicuously so Something that you know what I mean My idea is that wall paper like furniture should in a certain way reflect the character of the people in the house It should have a certain indefinable how do you like this pattern I dont like striped wall paper You dont Why it is very fashion able and it gives height to a room I dont like a distinct and positive stripe but you see that this is not that kind It is more of a suggestion of a stripe Still if you do not want a stripe I do not insist on the paper not hav ing a stripe in it But I want the paper to please you dear and if you hate a stripe I I didnt say that I hated a stripe Well I do not want anything that you even dislike I rather like a stripe and now they told me at the store that this paper is being used a great deal Do you like it Well yes I think I like it bettei than any piece you have shown me Why George Do you It seems perfectly horrid to me It looks loud bold brazen And it would simply kill any picture hung on it That is something we want to consider the pictures Then this paper would be all out of harmony with the rugs in the parlors It would be a screaming note of discord all through Then why did you have a sample of it sent Well I thought it would give us a variety from which to select Now I like this pattern immensely Dont Well to tell the honest truth Helen I do not fancy it You dont Well now I like it bet ter than anything I have found yet and I think that you would grow to like it The clerk at the store said that it was so much in demand that they could hardly supply it fast enough He said that they put it on the parlor walls of a perfectly elegant new house only last week It is some thing entirely new and I think that it has a great deal of character and a certain tone of refinement in it that still if you do not like it I do not exactly fancy it but if you are so taken with it get it by all means I shall be satisfied with it I am not in the parlors once in a coons age anyhow and I dont want to be there that often Seems to me a par lor in a house is a kind of chamber of horrors anyhow Now if you like that paper have it put right on the walls and But not if you dont like it I must confess that I like it ever so much and I feel sure you would like it better if you could see several strips of it hung side by side as I saw them to day in the store One cannot get the full ef fect from a sample not even from a large sample I suppose not Just order that paper and have it over with But I want you to like it said Mrs Sweetley amiably O Ill like it all right said Mr Sweetley beaming at her Because continued the lady I wouldnt take the least bit of pleasure in it if I felt that you didnt like it I want the paper to be your choice as well as mine As I say the effect is different when you see a lot of it to gether 1 showed it to Mrs Van Sam who was callkig here this afternoon I and she thought it was lovely If you i think that youd like it dear I O Ill like it all right I want to finish this tale before I go to bed Better telephone in the morning and have them save the paper for you I I to tell the truth dear I had them put it aside to day and they are going to hang it next week and I am urp you will like it the walls Puck I GOOD PRESCRIPTION SIMPLE MIXTURE THAT IS SAID TO BREAK A COLD QUICKLY Ingredients Can be Easily Purchased at Little Cost From Any Good Prescription Druggist and Mixed at Home A noted authority on lung trouble ad vises that as soon as a cold is con tracted the following simple treatment should be given The ingredients can he purchased from any prescription druggist at small cost and easily pre pared in your own home It is said to be so effective that it will break up a cold in twenty four hours and cure any cough that is curable Take a half ounce Virgin Oil of Pine Pure two ounces of Glycerine and eight ounces of good Whisky Shako well and take in teaspoonful doses ever- four hours Be sure that the Virgin Oil of Pino Pure is in the original half ounce vials which are put up expressly for druggists to dispense Each vial is se curely sealed in a round wooden case with engraved wrapper with the name Virgin Oil of Pine Pure guaran teed under the Food and Drug Act June SO 190G Prepared only by Leach Chemical Co Cincinnati O plainly printed thereon Only the adulterated oils are sold in bulk these create nausea and never effect the desired re sults NEED OF STANDARD WEIGHTS Wheat Sold by 20 Different Measures in Great Britain The advocates of the metric system want no better justification than tables just prepared for the year book of the British Auctioneers institute I It is learned from this that the price of wheat is made and the cereal is sold in 20 different ways in England Scotland and Wales It is measured variously by the quarter comb load boll bushel bar rel hundredweight cental windle and hobbet Further confusion is caused by varying weights of a bushel in different parts of the country A boll is three bushels in some places and four and six in others There are similar absurd variations in other weights and measures For instance a stone of meat is eight pounds a stone of iron 14 pounds a stone of cheese 16 pounds and a stone of hemp 32 pounds There are seven different areas of the standard acre in Great Britain The vagaries of liquid measures aro equally bewildering VERY BAD FORM OF ECZEMA Suffered Thrac Years Physicians Did No Good Perfectly Vell After Using Cuticura Remedies I take great pleasure in informing you that I was a sufferer of eczema in a very bad form for the past three years I consulted and treated with a number of physicians in Chicago but to no avail I commenced using the Cuticura Remedies consisting of Cuticura Soap Ointment and Pills three months ago and to day I am prefectly well the disease having left me entirely I cannot recommend the Cuticura Remedies too highly to any one suffering with the disease that I have had Mrs Florence E Atwcod IS Crilly Place Chicago 111 October 2 1905 Witness L S Berger Typical Soldier of Fortune Though many of the descendants of the illustrious Edgar Allan Poe inherit some of his illustrious instincts it is probably more marked in the case of Johnnie Poe who can well be styled a typical soldier of fortune Mr Poe belonged to the great Fifth regiment of Baltimore and served during the war with Spain after which he went to the Philippines where he was of fered a commission for efficient work For the second time however he re fused the honor and remained a priv ate At the expiration of his term he came back to this country and wan dered to the famous Death valley and from there to the Tonopah district from which he was lured in the late fall by the call of the gridiron Oatc Heads 2 Foot Long The John A Salzer Seed Co La Crosse Wis are bringing out a new oats this year 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