- - - r urL -- B - ihhiiiiwumhh nmm uminnTW nri ii n - - ---- C H Boyle The Food Value of a Soda Cracker Trust to Nature A great many Americans tooth men anil women are thin pale and puny with poor circulation because tlwy havofll treated their siiuRchs by iiast mlj or too much cuxiiig7by csamK 3 holic beverages or by too cloe confine ment to home office or factory and in consequence the stomach mtist he treated in a natural way before they can rectify their earlier mistakes The muscles in many such people in fact in every weary thin and thin blooded person do their work with great difficulty As a result fatigue comes early is extreme and lasts long The demand for nutritive aid is ahead of the supply To insure perfect health every tissue hone nerve and muscle should take from the blood cer tain materials and return to it certain others It is necessary to prepare the stomach for the work of taking up from the food what is necessary o make good- rich red blood We must go to Nature for the remedy There were certain roots known to the Indians of this country before the advent of the whites which later came to the knowledge of the settlers and which are now growing rapidly in professional favor for the cure of stomach and liver troubles These are found to be safe and yet cer tain in their cleansing and invigorating effect upon the stomach liver and blood These are Golden Seal root Queens root Stone root Bloodroot Mandrake root Then there is Black Cherrybark The medicinal principles residing in these native roots when extracted with glyc erine as a solvent make the most reliable and efficient stomach tonic and liver in- vigorator when combined in just the right proportions as in Dr Pierces Golden Medical Discovery Where there is bankrupt vitality such as nervous exhaustion toad nutrition and thin tolood the body acquires vigor and the nerves blood and all the tissues feel the favorable effect of this sovereign remedy Although some physicians have been aware of the high medicinal value of the above mentioned plants yet few have used pure glycerine as a solvent and usually the doctors prescriptions called for the ingredients in varying amounts with alcohol The Golden Medical Discovery is a scientific preparation compounded of the glyceric extracts of the above mentioned vegetable ingredients and contains no alcohol or harmful habit forming drugs JOHN E KELLEY ATTORNEY AT LAW and BONDED ABSTRACTED McCook Nebraska SgAgant of Lincoln Land Co and of McCook Water Works Office in Postoffice building FRED R BRUNS Barber Shop Bath Booms Rear Citizens bank HOLLISTERS Rocky Mountain Tea Nuggets A Busy Medioino for Busy People Briags Golden Health and Eenewed Vigor A specific for Constipation Indigestion Livo and Kidney Troubles Pimples Eczema Impure Blood Bad Breath Slujrfjish Bowels Headache and Backache Its Rocky Mountain Tea in tab let form S5 cents a box Genuine made by Holuster Drug Company Madison Wis SOLDEN NUGGETS FOR SALLOW PEOPLE You have heard that some foods furnish fat other foods make muscle and still others are tissue building and heat forming You know that most foods have one or more of these elements but do you know that no food contains them all in such properly balanced proportions as a good soda cracker The United States Government report shows that soda crackers contain less water are richer in the muscle and fat elements and have a much higher per cent of the tissue building and heat forming properties than any article of food made from flour That is why U nee da Biscuit should form an important part of every meal They represent the superlative of the soda cracker all their goodness and nourishment being brought from the oven to you in a package that is proof against air moisture and dust the price being too small to mention C E Eldeed Co Atty BOYLE ELDRED Attorneys at Law Long Distance Phone 44 Rooms 1 anrt 7 second floor Mrfnnir wVi Postoffice Buildins MCLOOK HeO DR H M IRELAND Osteopathic Physician Kelley Office Bldg Phone No 13 McCOOK NEB Consultation free NATIONAL BISCUIT COMPANY Padre Angela lADRE AXGEfLO he say Why yp no gat married eh YJou are maki pkiynta inon JSor gon takn wife my son Ni am too beez a man Tandin dees peanutAa stan I no gatta time for play Fooleeshness weeth girls I say My You donta tal me so Ees say Padre Angelo Bimeby mebbe two free day Tonga girl she com an say Padre Angrlo ees here No Eet ecsa vera queer Heesa housakeepa say I gon find heem deesa way While she eesa speaka so Ees com Padre Angelo Rosa you are look for me He ees say to her an she Say Oh please go homa queeck You are want for som one seeck I am sand for find you here Ah da seecka call my dear Com say Padre Angelo Deesa yonga man ees Joe Shaka hans bayfore we go So I am shak hans weeth her Leetla han so sof like fur Den she bow to me an go Weetha Padre Angelo Bimeby spose two free day more She ees com jus like bayfore An she aska me You know Where ees Padre Angelo Housakeep she tal me wait Eef he dont be vera late So I tal her taka seat An to hav som fruit for eat Den I talk to her an she Smila sweet an talk to me How long time I do not know Den com Padre Angelo Oh she say go homa queeck You are want for som wan seeck My he say Dees seecka call I am gat no peace at all Oh well come my dear he say An he takin her away I am sad for see her go Weetha Padre Angelo Many times ees lika dat Peopla always seem for gat Seecka wen he ees away Rosa com mos evra day An som time she gatta stay Pretta longa time you know Teel com Padre Angelo Steel I no gat any keeck How mooch peopla gatta seeck I am feela glad dey do Rosa she no keeckin too Lasta night my Rosa she Go to padre weetha me An I tal heem Pretta soon Mebbe so da firsta June Rosa gona be my wife He ees sprise you bat my life Wat he say an rub hees eyes Dees ees soocha glad sprise My You donta tal me so Ees say Padre Angelo -T A Daly in Catholic Standard and Times The Troper Adjective Miss Mobile Well Martha how is your husband now Martha Poly miss poIy Hes got that exclamatory rheumatism Miss Mobile You mean inflammatory rheumatism Martha Exclamatory is to cry out Martha with solemn conviction Thats it mum thats it He dont do nothin but holler Christian Register Explained Jaggsby 2 a m I shay offisher is thish hie Blank street Policeman Yes Jaggsby Wish youd hie drect me t 411 Goin t hie tend lecture there Policeman What Attend a lecture at this hour of the morning Jaggsby Yesh thashs where I hie live an Im married Shee Chicago News Accounted For Its strange said the piano teacher that you cant learn to run the scales correctly That is probably one of the traits I inherited from father replied the young lady pupil He made his mon ey in the grocery business you know New Orleans Times Democrat I WHY SO MANY GLASSES Forty people in every hundred should wear spectacles or eyeglasses Why Because a greater demand is made upon eyesight in these modern times than ever before our eyes are used more constantly and are subject ed to the most severe strains While it is true that a large per cent of people should wear glasses it j is amazing to see the number who from simple neglect do not do so Of course it is also an important matter as to the kind of glasses that should be worn We cail your attention to the Kryp tok lenses as the latest scientific achievement in the optical field We invite you who are in search of clear vision to investigate the merits of this attractive perfect fitting lens Though in appearance it is a single focus lens it has two separate and distinct focal powers which does away with the necessity of two pairs of glasses and the continual changing from one to the other For further In formation address the Columbian Bi focal Co Temple Court Denver Colo who are the sole makers and distrib utors in the West Womans Love Which of the two do you think you will love the longest Peter or Paul The one who will forget me the quickest Paris Figaro A Little Bitter I noticed Miss Giglets at the service today and it struck me as very strange that she never once said Amen No Shes such a man hater that she wont mention the men in any way Cleveland Plain Dealer Certnlnly Which side do you wish your hair combed on asked the barber who ap peared to be trying to make a hole in the customers head with his comb On the outside please Yonkers Statesman The Retort Vepretnrinn Bill Cuffies Why yer look as though yer could eat me Joe Sprouls Not arf The day I as ter eat yer I turns vegetarian London Paper His Experience She Why do you think their affair isnt platonic He Well I never met a platonic wid ow Puck The Reason Is you pa runnin fer office Naw Somebody stole his wooden leg Atlanta Constitution Did Not Appreciate Advice Offered Him was on an open street car and the IT passengers put it down that the man with his jaw tied up had the toothache One of them was not sat isfied with inference but leaned for ward and solicitously inquired Does she lift you when she aches The sufferer glared at him but made no answer and he presently continued Ill bet its a double tooth and that the dentist will have to yank three times on it You villain shouted the sufferer as he wriggled around while three or four others made indignant protests All right all right I wont say any more said the stony hearted man as he sank back but for the information of the crowd In general I will observe that toothache Is caused by the cold air striking an exposed organ You probably never gave a thought to it but there are exactly 3300 nerves ra diating from your gums and the ex posure of any one of these causes pain Speaking of teeth do you know what the strength of the jaw is It is com puted that when a full grown and healthy man shuts his teeth down as hard as he can on a pine board he is exerting a force of one horsepower Every time you bite into a sandwich you use enough force to open a door Should you yell Police at the top of your voice the air pressure would be sufficient to lift one of your shoes sev en inches high Should you sneeze you waste power enough to pull a tur nip out of the ground and the force of a hearty laugh would drive a brad awl halfway through a raw potato Thats all ladies and gentlemen and no col lection will be taken up or vote of thanks looked for Brooklyn Citizen Ahead of the Times Im living in the- wrong age grum bled the little old man who was sfetlmj outside of the postoffice whittling a peach stone Hows that qucidcd the honsesboe salesman Why be gum I sluldtbave been livin in an age when thar waiit Hafji in but automobiles an6 airb8 Why so Hforeos QFG3ga jfixi aj trouble Trouble Waa I veasaff9 While I went -to i sIar an ran avway vrii ft lycfefe fofc hadnt been snip ipJ3s tB wouldnt have uWri vy kips dsefers and I would have had tire old woman yet No sir young man I was born too early Chicago News Her Way Vv fa 4r m M y Ml J s T mfmm aoKia Bakbu He If you were to be kissed which way would you like best She without a moments hesitation The manly way Denver Times Wronir Party Mr Makinbrakes to chance acquaint ance whom he has met at a swell party If you have any influence with Mrs Upjohn I wish you would sug gest to her that she announce dinner Im frightfully hungry Chance Acquaintance Me I havent any influence with Mrs Upjohn Im Mr Upjohn Tit Bits Fisherman George Briggs Bowder boasts that he never told a lie in his life Griggs Shouldnt wonder if it was so Why last year he swore off drink ing just at the opening of the fishing season Bowder is a terribly eccentric fellow Boston Transcript Then He Went Ah remarked Miss Weery whom Mr Staylate had been wearying with old conundrums that reminds me of the best tiling going Whats that he asked A man who has stayed too long Philadelphia Ledger Food For Reflection Clara Why dont you get a new mir ror dear This one gives a horrible re flection Maude Thats queer I have always considered its reflective powers abso lutely perfect Baltimore News The Doctor Katharine Papa Im going to do something to help cut down your heavy family expenses Papa What Is it daughter Katharine Papa Im going to marry our doctor Brooklyn Life TUcliei Yes says the philosophical person wealth brings its disappointments After we lose it puts in the mate rialistic man Judge The IJoom of ibe Snrf Why do the Meakcrs boom so free With every passing swell Tho landlord answered Dont you see Theyre booming my hotel Washington Star ARRESTING OLD AGE Modern lAtv and the IjCUKthciilns Ixrloil of Youth It may shmh strange to us though the fact nevertheless remains that the veterans of the grand army of Na poleon weighed down by age and glory were iihmi of whom few had passed their thirty fifth year It was a lime of rash and short living with an early age and no overtures of real youth a time when we find Thackeray ridiculing Du Florae for holding claims on being still a young man at the age of thirty live The unmistakable tend iipv fit mir timo in riiiiviiintf life anil I to prolong or rather to vanquish age I is placing its stamp on every event of individual existence The average man today carries the spirit and power of youth into an age which a century ago was regarded as bordering on the shady side of existence The buoyancy and vigor characteristic of our present middle aged man make it in most cases extremely difficult to approach any fair degree of accuracy in deter mining tiio age of a person passing along the ascension scale between for ty and fifty five And what is said of man refers of course in equal if not in still more accentuated degree to wom an One of the causes of this remark able arrest of old age lies undoubtedly In the increasing indulgence of our time in healthy outdoor sports with their rare free and worry free aban don The occasional freeing of the mind from the strenuous life the de termination for a longer or shorter time to force business and routine in terests to the wall and give up oneself without scruple or narrow minded con ventional restraint to the spirit of the sport undoubtedly tends to liberate forces of original pristine strength Dr A E Gibson in Medical Brief A FAMOUS DANCER Sir Christopher Ilntton Won Roynl Honors Iy Ilix iraee In Queen Bess time Sir Christopher Ilntton won his Avay to the lord chan cellorship by his ability or anility in terpsichorean lines He first attracted the notice of Queen Elizabeth by his graceful dancing in a mask at court He henceforth lecanie a reigning rorito and Ins promotion was rapid fie was successively made a gentle umn of the queens privy chamber Cfsahi of the board of gentlemen pen zs3 the bodyguard vice cbambcr Isxb arid a member of the privy coun cil This delight of the queen to honor him caused much onvy Complaints were uttered that under the existing government nothing could be obtained by any others than dancers and car pet knights such as the Earl of Lin coln and Master Hatton On the death of Lord Chancellor Bromley the queen offered Hatton the great seal Even while chancellor Sir Christopher exhibited his skill in dancing Attend ing the marriage of his nephew and heir with a judges daughter he was decked according to the custom of the age in his official robes and Avhen the music struck up he doffed them threw them down on the floor and saying Lie there Mr Chancellor danced the measures of the nuptial festivity St James Gazette A Tonsnc Twister Try it yourself very slowly and care fully until you can say it easily then pass it along to your friends Here it is She stood at the gate welcoming him in Ten to one a person trying to pro nounce the sentence for the first time will fumble it laughably Tongue twisting sentences however are good elocutionary exercises They give you control of your vocal organs so that you can enunciate properly just as finger exercises on the piano or organ give control of the fingers What an immense amount of mechanical prac tice does it require to establish any thing like a close sympathy between the brain and the physical organs Elasticity of Spiders Welis Did you ever watch a spiders web on a windy day If so you will notice how wonderfully it accommodates itself to the swaying of the twigs to which it is attached It is in fact elas tic of the very finest quality Were it not for its elasticity the poor spider would not long survive The first breeze would rend the silken meshes of the web to atoms and the owners stock of new materal would very soon be exhausted in repairs and renewals Besides its elasticity the spiders web is very sticky a property which ac counts for the ease wherewith it holds insects when once caught Very Polite The politest man has been discovered He was hurrying along the street the other night when another man also in violent haste rushed out of a doorway and the two collided with great force The second man looked mad while the polite man taking off his hat said My dear sir I dont know which of us Is to blame for this violent encoun ter but I am in too great a hurry to investigate If I ran into you I beg your pardon if you ran into me dont mention it And he tore away with redoubled speed Chicago Journal Xerve The great requisite for playing cards or the horses remarked Mr Everwise is nerve Yes answered young Miss Torkins it must take a great deal of nerve to enable a man to come home so often and tell his folks that still further economy will be necessary Wash ington Post The only failure a man ought to fear Is failure in cleaving to the purpose he sees to be best George Eliot YOU WOULD DO WELL TO SEE J M Rupp FOR ALL KINDS OF Rpfclf fl q P O Box il McCook Nebraska McCook Tribune 1 the Year j is dkll imjouim AGENT FOR THE CELEBRATED Fairbury Hanchett VV Windmill This is a warranted and guaran teed windmill nothing hotter in the market Write or call on Mr Ball before buying PHONE BLACK 307 kWiVW Mike Walsh DEALER IN POULTRY and EGGS Old Rubber Copper and Brass Highest Market Price Paid in Cash Now locution just across street iu 1 Walsh building flcCook - Nebraska F D BURGESS Plumber and Steam Fitter iron Lead and Sewer Pipe Brass Goods Pumps an Boiler Trimmings Estimates Furnished Free Base ment of the Postoffice BuildingJ McCOOK NEBRASKA real Lumber and Goal Center Home of Quality and Quantity where W G BOLLARD sells THE BEST LUM BER AND COAL Are you thinking of building If so it is ten to one our figures will please you M O McCLURE Phone No 1 Manager fTTT rr i y r l TT - S3 esc ill aJsSgffig The Flour Mill has kept pace with the march of progress and the flour of to day differs from that of our grand fathers as does the locomotive from the stage coach Pride of McCook the best brand of the times em bodies all the salient goodness of a centurys progress in flour making It is the nutrition of the grain merely changed in form to bread making Do you use it McCook Milling Company H 4 i V V