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V FRANKLIN President A C EBERT Cashier
W B WOLFE Vice President
V FRANKLIN
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CITIZENS BANK
OF McCOOK NEB
DIRECTORS r
W B WOLFE
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deal with you so squarely that you want to
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PAUL P ANTON J
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A P300
LOAN
with the McCook Co operative
Building Savings Association
can be paid off in
monthly payments of
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tion Call on the secretary who will explain our
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McCook Building Savings Association
The McCook Tribune
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PIJSSIM PUNSTERS
A DEFINITION OF THE FORMER AND
EXAMPLES OF THE LATTER
Some Specimens of the Better Clann
of What In Called the Lowest Form
of Wit A Brilliant Coterie of Brit
ish IunMteru
Is the pun a legitimate form of wltr
Some people think not and Dr John
son said that a man who would make
a pun would pick a pocket But the
fact Is that the general objection to
puns is because of their frequent lack
of wit that Is to say it is directed to
bad puns We do not want to discuss
bad puns or even to hear them The
point Is whether good puns are admis
sible as legitimate and commendable
expressions of humor It is of no use
to say like Sydney Smith that puns
ought to be in bad repute and al
though one finds an incorrigible pun
steroften it is true an incorrigible
bore in every little circlet of social
life one does not find the race of pick
pockets to be increasing alarmingly in
numbers
It is probable that there are a few
even in these days of culture capable
of appreciating the profound witti
cism which De Quincey discovered in
the jests for Avhich poor JElius Lamia
was put to death by Domitian
If we want to argue the legitimacy
of puns we are obliged to fall back on
the old discussion as to the difference
between wit and humor The defini
tions are legional of course but not
one of them is wholly satisfactory
Knowledge comes and wisdom lin
gers Tennyson says and perhaps we
might found upon this a parody with
some approach to truth that wit spar
kles and humor permeates But there
is little profit to be got in analysis of
this kind What is funny isnt neces
sarily witty but what is funny must
have in it or suggested by it some of
the essence of humor Thus Charles
Lamb was not so far wrong when he
said that the most farfetched and
startling puns are the best
The familiar inquiry Is it true that
the first apple was eaten by the first
pair Is farfetched but one cannot
deny the humor of it Again in the
conundrum Why is blind mans buff
like sympathy Because it is a fellow
feeling for a fellow creature there is
a direct application which is also un
questionably humorous Then as an
other example of a pun which is ab
surdly apparent there was Douglas
Jerrolds remark about a man to whom
he had repeatedly written in vain for
some money
I have written him said Jerrold to
an acquaintance but got nothing
Strange said the other for he is
a man full of kindness
Yes rejoined Jerrold unremitting
kindness
A pun which requires explanation in
brackets is indeed simply intolerable
The Oxford scholar who meeting a
porter carrying a hare through the
streets asked Prithee friend is that
thy own hare or a wig required no
commentator Nor did Tom Hood
who when all is said and done re
mains the prince of British punsters
He puns as naturally as he laughs A
babe can see the point of his jokes and
the crustiest dry as dust cannot resist
tli em
Theodore Hook is thought by many
to be equal to Hood as a punster but
Hook was labored and slow in compar
ison There is an impromptu air about
Hoods puns which is incomparable
and an unexpectedness even when you
are looking for them that is delicious
Frederick Locker once or twice seemed
to have Hoods unconscious ease as
thus
Ho cannot be complete In aught
Who is not humorously prone
A man without a merry thought
Can hardly have a funny bone
John Hill Burton relates a legal joke
which to the legal mind has all the
charm of a pun One day a bailiff
serving a writ had been compelled by
the defendant to swallow the docu
ment In a state of great agitation and
anger the officer rushed into the court
over which Lord Norbury was presid
ing to complain of the indignity He
was met by the expression of his lord
ships hope that the writ was not re
turnable in this court
Bret Harte by the way was not usu
ally regarded as a professional wit
and yet among the good things which
cling to ones memory is the couplet in
the Heathen Chinee
Concealed in his nails which were taper
What is common in tapers thats wax
Somebody has written a parody in
which a candidate for examination
even beats the record of the Mongolian
Concealed in his palms which were spa
cious
What is common in palms and thats
dates
Speaking of palms recalls the fa
mous pun of the bishop of Oxford who
when asked by a lady why he was
nicknamed Soapy Sam replied Be
cause madam I am always getting in
to hot water and always coming out
with clean hands
Perhaps it may be said that some of
these examples are not true puns But
a pun is not necessarily a twisting of
spelling and a contortion of syllables
as the writers of burlesque and com
ic papers seem to think It Is play
upon words and to be really entitled to
be considered witty should play both
upon the sound and the sense if possi
ble London Tit Bits
The Home
The home is the cornerstone and bul
wark of the state and everything
which tend3 to keep alive and renew
its influence and associations should be
cherished and encouraged Cincinnati
Enquirer
PnirnlnRr n Banlc Book
The pawning of the wedding ring ha
become a pathetic commonplace tc
those who are familiar with polio
court and coroners court stories 01
with the private petitions for help ol
the deserving and undeserving poor
But we confess that with the West
minster magistrate we have nevei
heard before of pawning bank books
Yet on expert pawnbrokers evidence
elicited by police inquiry it is found
that this Is not at all an unusual prac
tice In the vast majority of cases ll
would seem to bo a simpler matter tc
draw on the bank account rather thaij
borrow on the strength of it from tin
pawnshop But one of the unfortunate
possibilities of the practice is revealed
in the particular case mentioned ai
Westminster A picture frame maker
wishing to withdraw 3 from the bank
could not find his bank book and then
learned that his wife had been putting
the book in and out of pawn for eighl
years having borrowed 7 10s on it
the first time and of course she had
been paying Interest on her various
transactions London Pall Mall Ga
zette
ItobiiiHOii Criinoc Kcouomist
When the average boy spends the de
lighted hours of Imaginative youth iE
devouring the pages of Robinson Cru
soe be has like most people of more
mature years no idea that he is perus
ing a work of profound philosophy
written by one of the greatest politica
thinkers of the English speaking race
Taken Avith a knowledge of the facts
of the career of De Foe Robinson
Crusoe can properly be considered a
story intended to illustrate the heavy
burden of trouble placed upon any sin
gle individual isolated from his fellows
and compelled to maintain his exist
ence Avithout their aid The tale shows
in an inimitable Avay Iioav all civilized
men are interdependent Regarded
from this point of vieA the author ol
the most -widely read Avork of fictioc
ever Avritten becomes an object of par
ticular interest to all thinkers upon
politics William N Hill M D ir
Watsons Magazine
To Pouml Words
When the roputability of punning is
under discussion it is Avell to bear in
mind that the very name of the jesl
confesses to a degree of atrocity Tc
pun according to the London Chron
icle is to pound words to beat them
Into forced conditions so the philolo
gists believe He would pun thee iutc
shivers Avith his fist says Thersites
in Troilus and Cressida meaning
physical pounding Pun Is not a
slipshod development of pound bul
its original form the Anglo Saxon vert
being punian and pun or poun
having developed a final d just as
soun became sound and as the
illiterate turn goAvn into goAvnd
Curiously enough pun and pound
have no connection with punching a
mans head Avhich is simply punish
ing contracted or Avith punching
a ticket Avhich goes back to the Latin
pungere to prick or puncture
Sir Humphry Davy
Sir Humphry Davy married a widow
as peculiar as himself His pet affec
tation AA as a lack of time He was al
ways in a hurry He pretended thai
he had no leisure to dress himself and
when a change of linen became neces
sary he simply put one shirt over an-
other until he was knoAAn to have on
five or six shirts at a time Of course
he could not wear this amount of ap
parel Avithout appreciably increasing
his size and his friends not in the se
cret Avere sometimes surprised to see
him fall off in apparent weight twenty
pounds in a day His wifes great anx
iety was to keep him fit for company
but as he did not care a fig for com
pany she had no easy task and domes
tic discord was a common thing
Ancient Cnps
The cups of the Assyrians closely
resembled our saucers Every noble
man and gentleman had his own cup
and cup bearer the latter of whom
always accompanied him to a feast
carrying before him the cup of gold
silver crystal or marble which his
master only used on state occasions
Saucers for cups were introduced in
the latter part of the eighteenth cen
tury and at first were greatly ridicul
ed the persons who employed them be
ing said not to be able to drink with
out having two cups
Two Different Slattern
I cannot understand sir why yoi
permit your daughter to sue me foi
breach of promise You remember tha
you Avere bitterly opposed to our en
gagement because I wasnt good
enough for her and would disgrace th
family
Young man that was sentiment
this is business
Selecting Jntlgcs
Dr Franklin thought that judges
ought to be appointed by lawyers for
added the shrewd man in Scotland
where this practice prevails they al
AAays select the ablest member of th
profession in order to get rid of bin
and share his practice among them
selves
A Pointer
Two thieves were breaking into i
door when the master of the house
hearing them looked out of the win
dow and said Friends come a little
later We are not yet in bed Hu
mor of Spain
DangeronH Aphorism
Bachelor Talk Is cheap Benedict
For goodness sake dont advertise il
as a bargain while my wife is around
Brooklyn Life
To do what we can by our ballots
and influence to secure good is to wort
with God Philipps Brooks
W H ACKERMAN
Real Estate
Loans and Insurance
Room 6 Walsh Block McCook Nebraska
Large list of FARMS and RANCHES
for sale in Southwestern Nebraska
Farms rented and taxes paid for non
residents
Consult or write me if you have lands to sell or want to buy
aiiMatiurY4 T
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