The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, June 07, 1901, Image 5

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    Not Co to California ?
Here's a suggestion for a holiday trip :
Buy n round-trip ticket to San Francisco -
cisco nt the reduced rates which will be
in effect on account of the Epworth
League meeting in that city in July } jo
west hy way of Denver and Salt Lake
City , past all the glorious mountain
scenery of Colorado and Utah sp.end a
few weeks in California come home
via Portland- Seattle , Tacouia , Spokane
and Billings , Mont.
If you have time , stop off and see
Yellowstone Park. A month is suffic
ient for the entire trip. In that time
you will see more than most people do
in a lifetime.
And the expense is almost unbeliev
ably small.
Write for a copy of the Burlington's
Epworth League folder , which tells all
about it gives you just the information
you need about rates , routes , through
cars , scenery , stop-overs , etc.
J. FRANCIS , G. P. A. ,
Omaha , Neb.
Best is the cheapest ; its Silver
Leaf soap , 9 bars for 25 cents at
the Bee Hive.
Not Golngr West This Summer ?
Haven't you heard about the low rates
to Colorado and Utah offered by the
Burlington Route ?
They are the lowest ever made so low
that it is almost cheaper to take advan
tage of them than it is to stay at home.
In effect all summer long from the
first of June until the middle of Septem
ber.
See the local agent or , if you prefer ,
write to J. Francis , General Passenger
Agent , Omaha , Neb. , enclosing with
l\ \ your letter six cents in stamps for "Col
orado , " n yz-page book , handsomely
illustrated and full of interesting information
mation about the cool resorts in the
mountains. 5246 Is.
Nine bars Silver Leaf for 25 cents
at the Bee Hive.
COURT-HOUSE NEWS.
COUNTY COURT.
Marriage licenses issued : Alfred S.
Palmer and Mary L. Cann , both of Dan-
bury. ,
Stephen D. Belles of Wells , Nevada ,
and Sarah E. Oyster of McCook.
Suit has been filed in county court by
J. S. McBrayer to recover $946 from the
Manhattan Fire Insurance Co. , for loss
in destruction of plaintiff's livery barn.
We
i guar
antee Dr.Kay's Renovator
to cure dyspepsia , consti
pation , liver and kidneys. Best tonic , laxative ,
blood purilier l.npwn for all clironic diseases ;
renovates and invigorates the \vliole system and
cures very worst cases. Get trial box at once.
If not satisfied with it notify usve will refund
money by return mail. Write your symptoms
for Free Medical Advice , sample and proof. 25 &
50c at druggists. Dr. B. J. Kay , Saratoga , N.Y.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
A Gallon of PURE LINSEED OIL mixed
with a gallon of
snakes 2 gallons of the vzur BEST PAINT
in the WOBLD
of yourpaint bill. Is FAB HOBE DTTRABLE than
PUKE WHITE LEAD and is ABSOLUTELY NOT POI
SONOUS. HAMMAB PAINT is made of the BEST off
Ait * * * fltiy coy c&u do & > . . * > * o buojsmais ± v ou * * ? * *
OF HOUSE PAINT. No BETTER paint can bo made
at ANT cost , and is
NOT TO CRACK , BLISTEB , PEEL or CHIP.
3 ? . HA3IMAR PAINT CO. , St. Zouis , Mo.
Sold and guaranteed by
S. M. COCHRAN & CO.
McCOOK , NEB.
ROTH ENBERG & SCHLOSS
DISTRIBUTORS.
KANSAS CITY , MO.
vice , etc. , of Dr. B. J. Kay , Saratoga , N. Y.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
Bcntlnic an Avalanche.
One of the most exciting Alpine ad
ventures on record was Mr. Tuckett's
race with an avalanche on the Eiger
giacler In 1871. lie was ascending the
glacier with two friends and a guide.
Says Travel :
The glacier sloped somewhat steeply ,
and on the upper part , ahove the climb
ers , a mass of loose , freshly fallen
enow had collected. Suddenly tfce trav
elers heard n thundering noise and
perceived a huge mass of sno\v arid ice
Eliding down toward them. They
could only try to reach the rocks at the
side of the glacier , hoping to do so
hefore the avalanche should sweep
them away. Through the knee deep
snow they ran for their 1'ves.
"I remember , " said Mr. Tuckctt , "be
ing struck with the idea that It seemed
as if the avalanche were sure of Its
prey and wished to play with us for
awhile. At one moment it let us Imag
ine that we had gained on It , and the
next , with mere wantonness of vindic
tive power , it suddenly rolled out a
vast volume of grinding blocks and
whirling snow , as if to show us that it
could outflank us any moment It chose.
"Nearer and nearer It came , Its front
a mighty wave about to break. It aim
ed straight at us , swift , deadly , Im
placable. The next instant we saw no
more. A wild confusion of whirling
snow and fragments of ice , a frozen
cloud , swept over us , entirely conceal
ing us from one another. But still we
were untouched , and still we ran.
"Another half second , and the mist
parted. There lay the body of the mon
ster , whose head was still careering
away at lightning speed far below us ,
motionless , rigid , harmless. "
Rather Outspoken.
"When a man in the west likes not
another , " said a British Columbia man ,
"he is In no way disposed to hide that
fact under a bushel basket or to con
ceal it from either the gentleman dis
liked in particular or the rest of the
community in general.
"I remember an example of this trait
that came under my notice some years
ago in Idaho. A certain old fellow
named Haas ran a paper there , and he
and Judge Buck , the judge who ren
dered the celebrated decision in the fa
mous 'Poor Man' Tiger litigation , were
sworn enemies. Another old timer
named Cheney disliked Haas and Buck
and had it In for them both.
"One night at Wallace a dinner was
given , at which Buck , Haas and Che
ney were present , and at a late stage in
the proceedings Cheney was called up
on for a speech. I don't remember the
topic he chose or how he brought it in ,
but when he got through Cheney left
in the minds of his hearers no manner
of doubt as to how he felt toward the
other two.
" 'Gentlemen , ' said Cheney as he
hung unsteadily to the end of the ta
ble , for the wine had been passing
freely , 'old man Haas says Judge Buck
is a perjurer and a blackmailer , and
Judge Buck says old man Haas is a
horse thief and a liar. As both the
gentlemen are extremely well acquaint
ed with each other and should know
whereof they speak , I do not feel call
ed upon to dispute either statement. ' j
"And then he sat down amid tumultuous -
tuous applause. " New York Tribune.
Doing : the Glazier n. Kindness.
A traveling tinker out of work be
moaned his hard luck to a sympathetic
glazier.
"I'll soon put that right for you , "
said the glazier. "Just come up to
lhat big hotel over there in half an
hour's time , and you'll flnd work. "
Accordingly the tinker made his ap
pearance at the appointed time and
found himself In great request , as all
the good wife's pots and pans had mys
teriously sprung leaks.
Needless to say the glazier had slyly
operated on them to provide a job for
his acquaintance.
Having finished his work , the tinker
trudged off , full of gratitude , and soon
arrived at a wayside schoolhouse.
A happy thought striking him , he de
termined to repay the glazier's kind
ness , and , arming himself with stones ,
he speedily smashed every window in
the house.
Returning , he intimated to his friend
the service he had rendered him , but
was amazed to see the man of glass
become convulsed with rage.
"Great Scott , man , " shouted the lat
ter , "you've ruined me ! I repair the
windows of that school by yearly con
tract ! " London Answers.
AvoidingWorry. .
Wife Here comes a friend of mine.
Let's turn into this side street until she
passes.
Husband Quarreled with her ?
"No , but 'I don't want you to see her. "
"Hum ! Why not ? "
"I know you'll admire that new dress
of hers , and it will only worry you to
think what a ridiculous fuss you made
over the bills for this cheap thing I've
got on. " New York Weekly.
Teeth Pnt to Many Uses.
AH Eskimos have good teeth , but
they are subjected to severe usage ,
being used for pinchers , vises and
fluting machines.
The teeth are employed in drawing
bolts , untying knots , holding the
mouthpiece of a drill , shaping boot
soles , stretching and tanning skins.
When they become uneven from hard
usage they are leveled off with a file
or whetstone.
Not a Good Liar.
Mrs. Newbride I didn't see you at
my wedding.
Mr. Stingee ( who saved the price of a
gift ) Why , I didn't get any invitation.
Mrs. Newbride I'm sure one was
sent to your bouse on Sixteenth street
Mr. Stingee No , it wasn't It .was
sent to the same number on Fifteenth
street , and er that is I declare there
goes my carl Goodbyl Catholic Stand
ard Times.
All bat One Peeped In.
' When a prominent picture dealer of
New York starts the topic of woman's
qurloslty , his wife always laughs and
blushes , for she knows the story that
is coming.
"One day , " the picture dealer begins ,
"I decided to close the small exhibi
tion studio which leads' from the-gal
lery and put 'Private * on the door Just
for an experiment. There was an im
portant collection of water colors by
one of our best artists In the gallery.
I sat at the desk just outside the en
trance and presented to each lady a
fresli catalogue of the paintings. When
she took it , I politely requested her to
leave It as she went out.
"This request was complied with in
every instance , and I was enabled to
notice a most Interesting series of co
incidences. On every catalogue save
one there was in one place or another
a little smear of gilding transferred to
the paper from the carefully prepared
knob of the door marked 'Private. ' "
When the story had been accepted ,
with laughter , by his listeners , some
body is sure to ask , "How about the
one catalogue that was undecorated ? "
To this query the picture dealer has
one invariable answer :
"It was the catalogue carried by the
young woman who afterward became
my wife. She told me that the other
women turned the knob merely to see
If the door was locked , but she knew
that sort of gilding rubbed off , and she
had on light gloves. " Youth's Com
panion.
A Cnt'H Kxtraordlnary Leap.
In the latter part of 1880 , at a time
when the Washington monument had
reached a height of 160 feet , an adven
turous and patriotic cat ascended the
interior of the shaft by means of the
ropes and tubing. When the workmen
arrived at the upper landing the next
morning and began to prepare for the
day's work , pussy took fright and ,
springing to the outer edge , took a
"header" of 100 feet to the hard earth
below. In the descent , which was
watched closely by twoscore of men ,
the cat spread herself out like a flying
squirrel and alighted on all fours. Aft
er turning over on the soil a few times
in a dazed manner she prepared to
leave the grounds.
She had got almost beyond the shad
ow of the * monument when a dog be
longing to one of the workmen pounced
upon her and killed her , she , of course ,
not being in her best running trim after
performing such an extraordinary feat.
One of the men procured the body of
the dead feline , smoothed out her silky
coat and turned the remains over to a
representative of the Smithsonian in
stitution , who mounted the skin and
placed it under a glass case. The label
on the case tells this wonderful story
in a few words : "This cat on Sept. 23 ,
1SSO , jumped from the top of Washing
ton's monument and lived. "
Abolition of the Dncklng Stool.
The most noteworthy of all the in
struments designed for the correction
of Eve's offending daughters was the
ducking stool , known as the tumbrel
and the trebuchet A post , across
which was a transverse beam turning
on a swivel and with a chair at one
end , was set up on the edge of a pond.
Into the chair the woman was chained ,
turned toward the water a muddy or
filthy pond was usually chosen for this
purpose when available and ducked
half a dozen times , or , if the water in
flamed her instead of acting as a damp
er , she was let down times innumera
ble until she was exhausted and well
nigh drowned.
From the frequency with which we
find it mentioned in old local and coun
ty histories , in church wardens' and
chamberlains' accounts and by the po
ets ( Gay , for one , has a description of
the process in his third pastoral , "The'
Shepherd's Week" ) we shall probably
not be wrong in concluding that at one
time this institution was kept up all
over the country. In Liverpool , ac
cording to The Gentleman's Magazine
for 1803 , it was not formally abolished
until 1776. London Graphic.
WashIngton'a High Priced Shad.
Washington's steward was a man
named Fraunces , who liked good liv
ing and with whom Washington con
tinually quarreled about the market
ing. One time he bought a shad in
February , and as Washington saw it
coming into the dining room he was
charmed and asked what fish it was.
"It is a shad , " replied the steward ,
"a very fine shad. It was the only one
in the market , and I bought it for you. "
"But what did you pay for it ? " said
Washington sternly.
"It is a very fine shad , " continued
the steward , "and it is cooked to a
turn. "
"But I want to know the price the
price ! "
"It cost $3 , " stammered out Fraunces.
"Take it away , " said Washington as
he raised his hand ; "take it away. It
shall never be said that I set such an
example of luxury and extravagance. "
And with that he drove the steward
out of the room , and the shad was eat
en in the servants' kitchen.
She Had Waited For It.
He ( about to ask for a kiss ) I have
an important question to ask you.
She ( playfully ) I know what It is ,
George. You want me to be your wife.
Well , take me.
He ( rather taken aback ) This is
somewhat sudden , isn't it ?
She ( tenderly ) I don't know , George ,
whether it is sudden for you or not , but
I have waited for it for three years.
London Standard.
*
Cast iron plows were first made in
this country in 1797 and were greatly
objected to from the belief that the
cast iron poisoned the ground and pre
vented the plants from growing.
In China there is 20 times as much
coal as in all Europe.
The GalloplnK White Hcame. T * * .
It was In the dark of the evening
and the streets were thronged with ]
men and women on their way home att
the end of the day's work. At Thirty- ,
fourth street , where Broadway and ;
Sixth avenue cross with u network of
tracks , the usual clangor of gongs , the ]
shouts of newsboys and the roar of the
elevated trains filled the air , while
myriad electric lights sparkled like so
many stars.
Suddenly out of the gloom came a
little white hearse , being driven rapid-1
ly home. Its sad day's work was over ,
and the little horses were probably
anxious for their dinner. Still It gave
one a shock to see them galloping so.
Even more pathetic It looked when
empty than with Its precious little bur
den. The very emptiness spoke of the
vacant little chair at home , the unused
toys , the unworn frocks folded away
for some woman to cry over on a rainy
day.
day.Fathers
Fathers hurrying home to their own
little ones felt a sudden lump In the
throat , mothers leading their children
grasped the little hands with a quick
access of tenderness , and a otrange ,
sad sense of loneliness came to the
heart of the passerby who had no child
to lose. Just a little white hearse ,
seen only for a moment in the gather
ing darkness by the hurrying throng ,
but what a world of pathos it suggest
ed ! New York Mail and Express.
Artificial
The most lifelike and serviceable ar
tificial legs in the world are manufac
tured in America. Enormous quanti
ties of these limbs are shipped to Eu
rope every year.
The first great boom In the artificial
leg business was brought about by the '
civil war. Since that time railroad and
trolley car accidents have kept up an (
ever increasing demand. Another factor - ,
tor has been the general use of antisep
tics. The mortality among those who
have their legs amputated is far less
than formerly , and a large proportion
of the survivors become patrons of the
wooden leg factories.
The old fashioned peg leg is practical
ly a thing of the past. The modern ar
tificial leg shows a great advance over
the old forms. Every improvement has
been with the idea of greater simplic
ity.
ity.The
The main object of the manufactur
ers is to improve the fit of the legs.
The best models now cost $100. It
costs from $5 to $23 a year to keep one
of these in order.
Few women wear artificial legs. On
the other hand , it is becoming more
common to fit limbs to children. Legs
are made for children sometimes be
fore they can walk. They are fitted as
soon as the child learns to stand and
make it possible for it to develop sym
metrically.
Where Was the Swindle ?
"Ethel , " said Lionel Bertram Jones
as he dropped his slice of bread in the
plate with a noise that set the canary
in the gilt cage overhead chirping mer
rily. "Ethel , I have something to say
to you. "
They had been married only four
weeks , and the time had not arrived
when she did all the saying.
"Do you remember the day on which
I proposed to you ? "
"Yes , " she replied. "I will never for
get it. "
"Do you remember , " he went on as
he abstractedly drilled a hole in the
loaf with the point of a carving knife ,
"how when I rang the bell you came to
the door with your fingers sticky with
dough and said you thought it was
your little brother who wanted to get
In ? "
"Yes. "
"Oh , Ethel ! How could you ? How
could you ? "
"How could I what ? " she responded
as a guilty look crept into her face.
"How could you make me the victim
of such a swindle ? " London Tit-Bits.
Just Talcing Sare.
An old farmer in Scotland once went
to have a troublesome tooth extracted.
Said the dentist after looking at the of
fending molar :
"It is a very ugly one. I would ad
vise you to have it out by the painless
system. It is only a shilling extra. "
He showed the farmer the apparatus
for administering gas , remarking that
it would cause him to fall asleep for a
minute , and before he awoke the tooth
would be out. After a slight resistance
the sufferer consented , proceeding to
open his purse.
"Oh , never mind paying just now ! "
said the dentist kindly.
"Hoots ! " answered the cautious old
Scot. "A' wasn't thinking o' that. But
If A'm ga-en ta sleep , A' thocht A'
wad like ta count ma siller fust. "
Glasgow Times.
Inconsistent.
"You are a most inconsistent wom
an , " said Henpeck , turning at last.
"I am , eh ? " she retorted. "How ? "
"You insist upon having and using
only the most expensive things , and
yet"
"Well ? You certainly never objected
to that ? "
, "No , but do be consistent. Don't use
so much talk. It's cheap. " Philadel
phia Press.
Swindled.
"The saddest , most blighted life case
I ever knew , " said the major , "was
that of a man who received a life pass
over a new railroad. "
"How was that ? " asked the colonel.
"Why , the pass was issued before
there was a rail laid , and then the road
was never built. He has felt swindled
ever since. " Indianapolis Press.
When Hannibal's army descended
from the Alps Into the valley of Lombardy -
bardy the whole force was well nigh
routed by a plague of mosquitoes ,
which drove men and animals almost
wild with pain.
#
THESE WARM DAYS REMIND YOU OF
Summer Corsets ,
Summer Shirt Waists ,
Summer Underwear &c
Our stock in these lines
is complete. Call and
see. ( i
i' '
Sit )
Just received , a large Ui
assortment of Fans _
t *
*
Bringus your order for
Staple and Fancy
THE . . . .
( >
I '
I '
C. L. DeGROFF & GO.
Don't get side-tracked in business. Dull
ness sometimes passes for death. Men with ,
brains reach the goal. Rocky Mountain Tea
puts gray matter into one's head. 350. Ask
your druggist.
"The Doctors told me my cough was incur
able. One Minute Cough Cure made me a
well man. " Norris Silver , North Stratford ,
N. H. Because you've not found relief for a
stubborn cough , don't despair , One Minute
Cough Cure has cured thousands and it will
cure you.v Safe and sure. McConnell &Uerry.
You may as well expect to run a steam en
gine without water as to find an active , ener
getic man yith a torpid liver and you may
know that his liver is torpid when he does not
relish his food or feels dull and languid after
eating , often has headache and sometimes
dizziness. A few doses of Chamberlain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets will restore his
liver to its normal functions , renew his vitality ,
improve his digestion and make him feel like
a new man. Price , 25 cents. Sample free at
McConnelPs & Berry's drug store.
IS LIKE A DELICATE
MUSICAL INSTRUMENT
In good condition she is sweet and lovable ,
and sings life's song on a joyful harmonious
string. Out of order or unstrung , there is
discordance and unhappiness. Just as there
is one keynote to all music so there is one key
note to health. A woman might as well try
to fly without wings as to feel well and look
well while the organs that make her a. woman
are weak or diseased. She must be healthy
inside or she can't be healthy outside. There
are thousands of women suffering silently all
over the country. Mistaken modesty urges
their silence. While there is nojhing more
admirable than a modest v/oman , health is
of the first importance. Every other con
sideration should give way before it. Brad-
field's Female Regulator is a medicine foi
women's ills. It is
thesafestandquick-
est way to cure leu-
corrhea , falling of
Ihewomb , nervous
ness , headache ,
backache and gen
eral v/eakness. You
will be astonished
at the result , es
pecially if you have
been experiment
ing with other so-
called remedies.
V/e are not asking
you to try an uncer
tainty. Eradfieid's
Regulator hasmade
happy thousands of
women. What it
has done for others
it can do for you.
Sold in drug stores
for $1 a bottle.
A free illustrated
book will be sent
to all who write to
FHE BRADFIELD
REGULATOR CO.
Atlanta , Go.
FBFP" MEDICAL ADVICE * Writeus
r nEtEi all your symptoms. Renovating the
system is the only safe and sure method of cur
ing all Chronic Diseases. Dr. Kay's Renovator
is the only perfectsystem renovator. Free sam
ples and book. Dr. B. J. Kay , Saratoga N. Y.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
The bilious , tired , nervous man cannot suc
cessfully compete with his healthy rival. De-
Witt's Little Early Risers the famous pills for
constipation will remove the cause of > our
troubles. McConnell & Berry.
In every town
and village
may be had ,
the
that makes your
horses glad.
Digests what you eat.
It artificially digests the food and aids
Nature in strengthening and recon
structing the exhausted digestive or
gans. It is the latest discovered digest-
ant a id tonic. No other preparation
! in Approach it in efficiency. It in
ly relieves and permanently cures
ispsia , Indigestion , Heartburn ,
-istulence , Sour Stomach , Nausea ,
SicK Headache , Gastralgia.Crampsand
all other results of imperfect digestion.
PriceSOc.andjl. Largesizecontains2 iMines
small size. Bookallaboutdyspepsiamailedfree
Preoared sy E. C. DeWITT AGO. . Chicago.
Mr.Connell & Berry , Druggists.
McCook Transfer Line
J. H. DWYEE , Proprietor.
l5 | ? Special attention paid to
hauling furniture. Leave orders
at either lumber yard.