The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, January 25, 1901, Image 5

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    a
"I think , " h-j began UB he halted a
pedestrian , "I think I made a mistake
with the cabman who drove xn6 to the
Corcoran Art gallery. I am quite sure
I gave him a $10 bill , but he must have
mistaken It for a $2 bill. "
* "And you .hope to find him again ? "
asked the man of the stranger to the
< Hty. .
"Why , yes. I have hopes. "
"Well , you are about as greec as they
make 'em. That 'cabman deliberately
swindled you out of many dollars. "
"Ican hardly believe It. He looked
BO honest and truthful that I I"
"That you ought to have asked him
to hold your watch and the rest of your
money ! My dear old Josh from the
cornfields , let me say"
At that minute a cab rattled up , and
the .driver dismounted and said :
"See here , old man , there is a mis
take. You probably meant to give me
a $2 bill , and I thought It was one when
I gave you $1 In change. "
"But I think it was a ten , my friend. "
"No ; it was a twenty , and I have
been driving about for half an hour to
find you and restore the money. Here
it Is. "
"And what was it you were going to
Boy to your dear old Josh from the
cornfields ? " asked. the old man as he
turned to the wise person.
But the wise person was there no
longer. He was flying for a car as If
running for his life. Washington Post.
Green Not Restful to the Eye .
It seems as though cherished notions
were no sooner on an apparently firm
foundation than some Inconsiderate
iconoclast comes along and throws
them down. People have for many
years supposed that the color green
was restful to human eyes and have
been referred to the green grass and
green foliage that nature has been so
prodigal with for the benefit of wearied
vision.
t
Now. according to a German profess
or of Berlin , nature wasn't thinking
of human eyes when she made her pro
fuse verdant display and that her col
or scheme was carried out absolutely
regardless of the visual needs of hu
manity. He says that green does no
protect the eye , and he denies that I
has any beneficial effects whatever.
He declares that green paper , green
shades , green glasses , green decora
tions and green umbrellas are all
t"I and that by increasing the
green light we are simply provoking
a nervous disturbance.
He says that each of the colors tires
a different set of nerves of vision , and
therefore looking at one particular col
or saves one set of nerves at the ex
pense of another. The best method
he says , Is to dim all of the rays ol
light by smoked or gray glasses , which
rest all of the optic nerves. New York
Herald.
Safe Way to Watch Fights.
The colonel and I sat talking under a
shade tree in front of the town post-
office when a dogfight started down the
street.
"Come on ! " I said as 1 sprang up.
"Come this way , " replied the colonel
as he seized my arm and drew me into
a doorway.
"But I want to see the dogfight. " I
protested.
"Yes , I reckon you do , but you also
want to keep clear of the shooting. "
"Why should there be any shooting ? "
"Because one dog has got to lick t'oth
er , and the owner of the licked dog
ain't goiti to let it rest that way. There
they go ! "
Ten minutes later we stepped out , to
find one man lying on the ground with
two bullets in him and some people
carrying away a second with half a
dozen.
"Dogfights are bewtiful affairs. " said
the colonel as we walked away , "but
the safest way to see one in Kentucky
is to wait till it's all over and the dead
carried off. " Chicago News.
Put Money Aside.
Take 10 cents to the nearest avail
able savings bank and deposit it to
your credit Keep it up until you have
a dollar.
Don't wait to do this until you have a
situation. Do It now. If you have
change for car fare. walk.
This is the only way to save money.
If you wait until your salary is raised ,
or until you happen to have an errand
near the savings bank , you may be
dead before you lay by a cent.
There is .only one way to save money.
That is to begin now. New York
Journal.
A Little Short.
At one of the railway construction
works in Glasgow the other day a cler
gyman who takes a great interest In
the members of his flock engaged at
t the cutting saw one of them entering a
drinking place. He hailed him , but
Pat simply looked and walked In.
Waiting till he came out , the reverend
gentleman accosted him thus , "Pat ,
didn't you hear me calling ? "
"Yes , your ravrince , I did , but but
I had only the price of one ! " Ex
change.
Couldn't Do the Impossible.
No , the citizen would positively not
buy any of the hair restorer.
"Do you think you can make a mon
key of me ? " he hissed , with asperity.
"Oh. not at all , " replied the vender
cheerfully. "We don't pretend to be
able to restore the hair lost In the proc
ess of evolution ! "
An Innocent bystander cracked a
faint smile , but otherwise all was still.
Detroit Journal.
An Odd Epitaph.
A visitor to a cemetery at South Vernon -
non , N. H. , will find the following upon
a gravestone there :
Oh. be she went , and am she gone
And left poor I here all alone ?
Oh , cruel fate , to be so blind
To take she 'fore and leave I 'hind I
Her can never come back to we ,
' But us must surely co to she.
Another Romance Spoiled.
"Tell a good story and stick to It , "
IB an old umxlm that IB illustrated In a
story llmt la going the rounds along
the RluUo. A certain well .known
actor floated Into his home one mornIng -
Ing about 9. o'clock. The wife of hia
bosom was-waiting up for him. lie
told her he had been out all the evenIng -
Ing with one of their friends , Charlie
B. , and then related an interesting
fairy story of how Charlie had taken
a 'crowd to supper , how funny Char
lie had- been all the evening , how
well Charlie looked In his new suit ,
how he said this , that and the other.
After telling a 13 minute story , to
which the gentle partner of his joys
and out of work periods listened with
respectful attention , but cynical mien ,
he paused for breath. Then she , In a
confident now I've gotryou tone , said :
"That's a lovely romance you've been
giving me , and I hate to spoil It , but
Charlie has been here nearly all the
evening waiting to see you about an
engagement. He left only about half
an hour ago. "
The teller of the tale looked rather
dazed for a moment as if he had been
struck. Then quickly gathering him
self together he assumed a bold front ,
with hands in his pockets , head thrown
back and , in delimit Innocence and em
phasizing each word , said :
"Well , that's my story , and I'm not
going to change it for anybody. " Clip
per.
Army Jolcea With a Moral.
"During the civil war , " said an ex-
army officer , "the authorities for some
reason were anxious to move troops up
the Tombigboe river. Word was sent
to the engineer in that district asking
what It would cost to rim up the Tom-
bigbee. That official got gay and re
ported that the Tombigbee ran down
and not up , a joke that promptly land
ed his head in the basket , as the mat
ter was serious.
"At the bombardment of Charleston
It was extremely desirable to bring to
bear on the city an extra heavy gun
called by the men the Swamp Angel.
The gun took its name from the swamp
III which It stood , and to move it
through that boggy morass was an en
gineering feat of extreme difficulty.
However , the commanding officers were
determined to have the gun brought
within range of Charleston and issued
orders to that effect. At the same time
they sent word to the engineer having
the matter in charge of requisition
without regard to trouble or expense
for anything necessary to accomplish
the desired object. His first requisi
tion called for men 26 feet G inches in
height Another officer promptly took
the matter in charge , from which it can
readily be deduced that it is not a pay
ing investment to make jokes In the
army at the expense of your superiors. '
New York Tribune.
A Contrnnt In CookH.
In an article contributed to a London
paper John Strange Winter , who has
been living for many months past in
Dieppe , compares the French to the
English cook , rather to the detriment
of the latter. "In the French kitchen , '
she says , "there is no waste. It would
seem that the French mind does not
run to waste or revel in it as the lower
class English mind invariably does. "
The French cook will not only flo a
bit of the housework , but she will do it
cheerfully and as a matter of course.
"You cannot buy your French cook too
many pans , and her soul loves copper
in her kitchen. Certainly an English
cook would grumble if she was expect
ed to keep a kitchen full of copper pans
bright and clean , but a French one has
them in a condition akin to burnished
gold. Her pride is gratified if her
kitchen walls are hung with these or
naments , and even if she does the
greater part of her small cooking in
little enameled pans she will daily rub
up the copper ones which hang on the
wall. "
She Guessed It.
He was descanting with vigor on the
exceptional quality of the , dinners that
ire served at one of the fashionable
: lubs of Brooklyn at a very low figure
for a first class meal on Mondays ,
ruesdays and Thursdays. Equally
toothsome luncheons could be had on
sther days of the week , but dinners in
iourse only on those days.
"And why on only those three days ? "
lueried the New Yorker , to whom the
Jelights of life In Brooklyn were being
rehearsed.
"Wash day , ironing day and the girl's
lay out , " quickly responded one of the
adles of the party. "That's no sort of
i conundrum to a woman who has ever
lad the care of a house. Better try a
larder one next time unless you hap-
> en to be In a stag party. " New York
Dimes.
"All Flab. "
Mrs. Thurlow says that Cardinal
iViseman went to dine with some
'fiends of hers. It was Friday , but
hey had quite forgotten to provide a
ast day dinner. However , he was
[ Uite equal to the' occasion , for he
tretched out his hands in benediction
iver the table , and said , " 1 pronounce
.11 tills to be fish. " and forthwith en-
eyed all the good things heartily.
The Story of My Life , " by Augustus
. C. Hare.
Misunderstood.
Uncle Reuben I jes com' t' town t'
; It a couple o * sideboards an tho't I'd
rap in t' see you.
City Niece Why , Uncle Reuben , what
lo you expect to do with two side-
oards in your house ?
Uncle Reuben Say. I'm talkin about
ay farm wagon. What air you talkin
bout ? Columbus State Journal.
Prussian blue does not come to us
rom Prussia. It is a chemical product
f which England makes her full share ,
rish stew is not an Irish , but an Eng-
ish dish , and Turkish baths did not
riginate in Turkey , but in Russia.
® % Fm ! ® ? ! ? & &
" f
Tli * Story of a. Mean Man.
This Is the story of a mean man. lit.
may not be the meanest on record , but
he carries a very fair brand of close
fistedness. He had a contract to sup
ply a certain amount of crushed stone ,
The machine he used could turn out all
the work ho could get by running eighl
hours a day.
The mean man had an engineer who
was a genius. The genius went tohis
employer one day and said he thought
ho could make some improvements In
that machine so it would do more work
In less time. The genius was paid by
the moiith.
He worked on the machine for sever
al days , taking it apart and putting it
together again. When reconstructed ,
It proved to have greater efficiency
than before , so much so that It did the
same mount of work in one minute
and a half that it used to take four
and a half to do.
The mean man. however , could get
no more contracts than before. lie
could fill all his orders by running
about three hours a day. The mean
man then went to the genius and said :
"See here. Henry. I've been paying
you by the month , but theie Isn't as
much work as there used to be not
enough to keep you busy. 1 shall have
to pay you by the hour after this. "
Henry demurred. lie had been too
faithful , but he didn't think that ought
to reduce his earnings over one-half.
His employer was firm , however , and
Henry resigned. New York Mail and
Express.
An Experiment In Journalism.
Once there was a really radical pa
per. In fxHidon it was , but the man
who made it now lives here and tells
the tale. It was one of those papers
which are a tragedy. They represent
the wreck of the enthusiasm of strong
men who must find the outlet for their
apostolate. This paper began by being
at odds with all that was established ,
and it had readers. But as time went
on the man who made the paper drove
off singly and in groups all those who
had begun by being his supporters. It
was found a little too radical for them ,
and they no longer kept step with its
newest march.
"Of course I now can see that such a
pjiper was foredoomed to failure , " the
editor said after he had recited the ear
ly history of his venture. "I confess
it was pretty strong even for British
radicals. After the circulation had
dwindled down to the extremists I suc
ceeded in alienating about half of them
by denouncing social democracy as feu
dal oppression , and the other half left
me when I attacked atheism on the
score of Its superstitious tendencies.
After that I ran the paper as long as I
could without any subscribers. But I
had to give it up. Nobody would read
it except myself , and toward the end I
had to give up reading It myself. I
found it too unsettling. So it stopped. "
New York Commercial Advertiser.
The Longest AVord.
"Rob. " said Tom , "which is the most
dangerous word to pronounce in the
English language ? "
"Don't know , unless it's a swearing
word. "
"Pooh ! " said Tom. "It's 'stumbled , '
because you are sure to get a tumble
between the first and last letter. "
"Ha. ha ! " said Rob. "Now , I've got
one for you. I found it one day in
the paper. Which is the longest word
in the English language ? "
"Incomprehensibility , " said Tom
promptly.
"No , sir ; it's 'smiles , ' because there's
a whole mile between the first and
last letter. "
"Ho , ho ! " cried Tom , "that's noth
ing. I know a word that has over
three miles between its beginning and
ending. "
"What's that ? " asked Rob faintly.
"Beleaguered. " said Tom. Pear
son's.
His Accent nnd Ills Country.
On one occasion during a visit to
America Michael Gunn , who assisted
Gilbert and Sullivan in bringing out
many of their operas , was trying the
voices of some candidates for the cho
rus. One of them sang in a sort of
affected Italian broken English. The
stage manager interrupted. "Look
here. " he said , "that accent won't defer
for sailors or pirates. Give us a little
less Mediterranean and a little more
Whitechapei. "
Here Gunu turned and said : "Of
what nationality are you ? You don't
sound Italian. "
The other suddenly dropped his Ital
ian accent and in Irish said. "Shure ,
Mr. Gunn. I'm from the same country
is yourself. "
Military Pomposity.
Quinn Such pomposity in the army
s disgraceful.
De Fonte Pomposity ?
Quinn Yes. Since Finn has been
iromoted to corporal he objects to his
etters being marked "private" for fear
> eople may think that that is still his
ank. Chicago News.
Odors and Deafness.
"Here. " said the observant boarder ,
vho had a newspaper in his hand , "is
i writer who asserts that odors can
rause deafness. "
"Well. " added the cross eyed board-
> r. "musk is pietty loud. " Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
Diplomacy Wins.
"Yes. that cheeky young Winte green
nade a friend of the haughty Mrs. De
foung the very first time he met her ! "
"How did he do it ? "
"He asked her if her hair wasn't
irematurely gray. " Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Benefit of the Doubt.
Sister's New Beau ( to Freddy , star-
3g ) Well. Freddy , how do you Jjke
ay looks ?
Freddy Oh. yer long hair makes you
) ok awful silly , but raebbe rou ain't.
ndianapolis Journal.
FACTS ABOUT DOLLS.
CAUSE OF THE ORIGIN OF THE WAX
AND CHINA VARIETIES.
-VV we First Used to Show Off
Models ofCo tly Dren o and In the
Seventeenth Century Were What
Fashion Paper * Are Today.
The origin of the word deli is curi
ous. Centuries ago , when taints' names
were much in vogue for children , St.
Dorothea was the most popular , and
her name the best and luckiest that
could be given to a little girl. The
nickname was Dolly , or Doll , and from
giving babies the nickname it was an
easy step to pass it on to the little
images of which the babies were so
fond.
The word doll Is not found in com
mon use in our language until the
middle of the eighteenth century , and.
as far as can be discovered , first ap
pears in The Gentleman's Magazine for
September. 1731 , in the following :
"Several dolls with different dresses ,
made in St. James street , have been
sent to the czarina to show tlje manner
of dressing at present in fashion among
English ladies. "
Previous to this the word used to
describe the favorite plaything of all
girls in all countries and in all ages
was "baby. " which Is to be found ,
together witli "poppet. " or "puppet , "
in this setiMin the works of most of
the earlier writers.
The wax and china doll originated
in the middle of the seventeenth cen
tury. There were no fashion papers
as now , and in older to show what was
being worn on the continent dolls were
beautifully and expensively dressed
and sent to the various European coun
tries , and from the model orders were
taken. The dolls , to show off their
costly garb , must be made of more
precious stuff than wood , so wax and
china and even ivory ones were made.
Tliuriugia is the land where most
dolls are born puppetland , as it is call
ed on this account. About 200 years
ago most of the dolls were made in
Flanders , and they were called not
dolls , but Flanders' babies. There used
to be an old English couplet which ran
thus :
Tlie children of Holland take pleasure in making
\Miat the children of England take pleasurein
breaking.
At one European doll factory of the
present day 100,000 dolls are produced
annually , some oOO men , women and
childien being employed. To make
one talking doll requires the joint labor
of 30 men. Dolls' eyes are made in un
derground rooms , into which the sun
light rarely peeps , and violet orbs are
the most difficult to color. There is
one town in Germany where three-
fourths of all the dolls' eyes in tin
world are made. Only in the case of
the most expensive dolls is real human
hair used.
In a doll factory are wood carvers
headmakers. leg and arm makers , eye
makers , portrait artists , hairdressers ,
doll sewers and doll stuffers ; also a
small army of fashionable dressmaker
and milliners.
The Hindoo child Is probably tin
only doll-less child in the world. The
little Egyptians have their wooden
"Usliabti. " the same in style as 4.000
years ago. These were sometimes
made of porcelain. When a child died ,
its dolls were buried with it , in the ex
pectation that their spirit forms would
rise and do service in another world.
The paradise of dolls is Japan , where
they are most elaborately and gor
geously attired affairs. So are the dolls
of Kioto "genroku , " as they are call
ed. They are often valuable wood
carvings , enameled in colors or statu
ettes of great artistic merit.
One of the most interesting collec
tions of dolls in this country is that
belonging to the bureau of ethnology ,
Washington. They are dolls of the Uni
Indians of Arizona and are made from
the roots or subterranean branches of
the cottonweed tree , whittled out with
knives. They are decorated bright red.
yellow , green and represent the gods of
the tribe the god of the snow , the god
that eats up the rainclouds , the fire
god , the sun god and the corn goddess.
The Uni children play with these dolls
as other children do. Any one who
goes into a Uni habitation is certain to
see a row of these dolls suspended
from the ceiling. When not in use.
Lhey are hung up until wanted.
La InfantSla is a doll with a history ,
[ t Is made of clay and is considered by
its owner , a Mexican lady , and by
tiosts of other persons to be a worker
3f miracles , and quantities of costly
; ifts are constantly offered to it. A
room in the house of its owner is set
iside for its exclusive use. Here it re-
ilines In a canopy bed of solid silver.
It has beautiful dresses and rich Jew-
jlry , valued at thousands of dollars.
\mong its latest gifts is a magnificent
liano. which is played upon by those
ivho visit the doll , as a part of the serv-
ce of adoration. New York Sun.
Quasi IlelntionHhip.
In Franklin county the other day a
: ouple bearing the same name were
narried. When the license was ap-
) lied for , the probate judge asked , as
: he law requires , if the bride and
> rhlcgrooin were related. "Well , judce. "
esponded the bridegroom , "we kinder
ire , an we kinder ain't just what you
night call relations. You see. we weie
uarried together for quite a spell , but
na thought she wanted a divorce , an
low we are goin to try it over again. "
\ansas City Journal.
As With Others.
She Were you ever troubled with
[ yspepsia ?
He Yes ; that's the way It affects
ne. Yonkers Statesman.
In his better moments stormy Car-
vie used to say , "Kindness is the sum
f life , the charm to captivate and the
word with which to conquer. "
Winter
We are offering new up-to-date l
goods at a SACRIFICE PRICE now t
when you need them. Ladies' *
Jackets at one-half regular price
marked in plain figures and cheap
at the old price. We will give
you a ,
10,00
For .00 Etc ,
Come quick before the assortment
is broken. Ladies' Waist Dress
Goods , Underwear , Overcoats ,
and Clothing all go at REDUCED *
PRICES.
Favor us with your Grocery Orders.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
THE . . . . #
*
*
2 > tore
; , * . .
C. L. DeGROFF & GO.
I
T T T ? T
I
QCO
j Authorized Capital , $100,000.
Capital and Surplus , $60,000
COO
GEO. HOCKNELL , President. B. M. FREES , V. Pres.
Iff. F. LAWSON , Cashier. F. A. PEN NELL , Ass't Cash.
A. CAMPBELL , Director. FRANK HARRIS , Director.
Brave Men Fall
Victims to stomach , liver and kidney troub-
es as well as women , and all feel the results
n loss cf appetite , poisons in the blood , back-
die , nervousness , headache and tired , list-
sss , run-down feeling. But there's no need
o feel like that. J. W. Gardner of Idaville ,
nd. , says : "Electric Bitters are just the thing
pr a man when he don't care whether he
ives or dies. It gave me new strength and
Kid appetite. I can now eat anything and
ave a new lease on life. " Only 0 cents , at
IcConnell & Berry's drug store. Lvery bottle
uaranteed.
DON'T BE FOOLEDI
Take the genuine , original
ROCKY MOUNTAIN TEA
Made only by Madison Medi
cine Co. , Madison , WIs. It
keeps you well. Our trade
mark cut on each package.
Price , 35 cents. Never sold
In bulk. Accept no substi *
iconponATCDtiea tute. Ask your druggist.
Beat Out of an Increase of His
A Mexican war veterar and prominent
editor writes : "Seeing the advertisement of
Chamberlain's Colic , Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy , I am reminded that a ; , a soldier in
Mexico in ' 47 and ' 48,1 contracted Mexican
diarrhoea and this remed > ha- , kept me from
getting an increase in my pension for on
every renewal a dose of it restores me. " It is
unequalled as a quick cure for diarrhoea arid
is pleasant and safe to take For sale rv
McConnell & Berrv.
A Pawnee county , Kansa- . maiden has ju-t
married A. Woodenman , but perhaps itzs
the best the poor girl could do.
Paid Dear for K.s Log.
B. D. Blanton of ThackeruHc , Tex , in tv.o
> ears paid over S30O to doctor , to cure a run
nmg sore on his leg. Then they wanted '
cut it off , but he cured i' with one l > ox < :
Hucklen' Ain.j - > Kr < j > .jiantted cure
for piles. 25 cts. a box * - > i y McConn" I
&Berry , druggists.
PATENTS GUARANTEED
Our fee returned if we fail. Any one sending sketch and description of
invention will promptly receive our opinion free concerning the patent-
ibility of same. "How to obtain a patent" sent upon request. Patents
ecured through us advertised for sale at our expense.
Patents taken out through us receive special notice , without charge , in
FHE PATENT RECORD , an illustrated and widely circulated journal , consulted
) y Manufacturers and Investors.
Send for sample copy FREE. Address ,
VICTOR J. EVANS & GO. ,
( Patent Attorneys , }
wans Building , - WASHINGTON , O ,