Nobody knows all about it ;
and nothing , now known , will
always euro it.
Doctors try Scott's Emul
sion of Cod Liver Oil , when
they think it is caused by im
perfect digestion of food.
You can do the same.
It may or may not be caused
by the failure of stomach and
bowels to do their work. If
it is , you will cure it ; if not ,
you will do no harm.
The way , to cure a disease
is to stop its cause , and help
the body get back to its habit
of health.
When Scott's Emulsion of
Cod Liver Oil does that , it
cures ; when it don't , it don't
cure. It never does harm.
r
The genuine has
this picture on it , take
no other.
If you have not
tried it , send for free
sample , its agreeable
taste will surprise
you.
SCOTT & BOWNK ,
Chemists ,
409 Pearl St. . X. Y.
500. and $1.00 ; all druggists.
To California in a Tourist Sleeper.
In no other way can you go to Cali
fornia so quickly , so comfortably , and
yet so economically , as in a tourist sleep
ing car.
The tourist cars used for the Burliug-
tou overland excursions are models of
comfort and convenience. They have
wide vestibules , high back seats and
double windows. They are lighted by
gas. The heating arrangements are ad
mirable and the bed furnishings are
clean and of good quality.
The Burlington excursions leave
Omaha every Tuesday and Thursday and
go through to San Francisco and Los
Angeles without changes or delays of
any kind. You can join them at Lin
coln , Hastings , Oxford , or any other
station at which the train stops. The
route is through Denver and Salt Lake
City , past the finest scenery visible from
car windows anywhere on the globe.
An experienced excursion manager is in
charge of each excursion party and a
uniformed porter accompanies each car.
Folder giving full information mailed
on request. Beautifully illustrated 72-
page book about California sent on re
ceipt of six cents in stamps.
J. FRANCIS , G. P. A. ,
io-26-nts. Omaha , Neb.
McCook Markets.
Corrected Friday morning.
Corn $ .35
Wheat .58
Oats 40
Rye 33
Hogs 4 - 25
Eggs 20
Butter 15
New Potatoes 65
Butter fat at Creamery 17
lives a happy wife. She writes : " I
have used Mother's Friend before
two confinements. The last time I had
twins , and was in labor only a few min
utes. Suffered very little. " The reason
why
s
does expectant mothers so much
good is because it is an external liniment ,
to be applied upon the outside , where
much of the strain comes. It helps be
cause the pores of the skin readily absorb
it , and it comes into direct contact with
and is absorbed by the parts involved.
Morning sickness is quickly banished ,
and nervousness is kept completely away.
The sense of dread and foreboding is not
experienced , even during labor itself.
Confinement is short and almost without
pain. Recovery is quick and sure. Best
of all , Mother's Friend benefits the
unborn just as much as the expectant
' mother , and when the little one comes it
* will be strong , lusty and healthy.
Drugglits sell Mother's Friend for Si a bottle.
Send for our free boolc on the subject ,
finely illustrated.
THE.BRADI-IELD REGULATOR CO.
ATLANTA , OA.
\
An Abrupt Propontxl.
The reported fashion of the famous
Dr. Abernethy's courtship and mar
riage Is very characteristic. It Is told
that while attending a lady for several
weeks he observed these admirable
qualifications In her daughter which he
truly esteemed to render the married
state happy. Accordingly on a Satur
day , taking leave of his patient , he ad
dressed her to the following purport :
"You are now so well that I need not
Bee you after Monday next when I
shall come and pay you a farewell vis-
It. But in the meantime I wish you
and your daughter to seriously consid
er the proposal I am about to make. It
Is abrupt and unceremonious , I am
aware , but the excessive occupation of
my time by my professional duties af
fords me no leisure to accomplish what
I desire by the more ordinary course of
attention and solicitation. My annual
receipts amount to , and I can set
tle on my wife. My character is
generally known to the public , so that
you may readily ascertain what It Is. I
have seen in your daughter a tender
and affectionate child , an assiduous
and careful nurse and a gentle and
ladylike member of a family. Such a
person must be all that a husband
could covet , and I offer my hand and
fortune for her acceptance. On Mon
day when I call I shall expect your de
termination , for I really have not time
for the routine of courtship. "
In this manner the lady was wooed
and won , and it may be added the
union was felicitous in every respect
How LI "Worked" Two MnchlneH.
With a seeming Innocence that would
have done justice to Ah Sin , the Hea
then Chinee , Li Hung Chang appeared
to display the greatest interest in the
sewing machines at an exhibition in
Edinburgh he visited when in Great
Britain several years ago.
His excellency's first question was
J-vw long it would take for the sewing
machine at which he had sat down to
do a certain distance seemingly con
fusing the mechanical stitcher with a
lady's safety at the next stand.
Without waiting for any reply to his
query or further ceremony LI started
sewing a little seam. Nor did he do It
badly , a fact which made him seem de
lighted as a child. For some time the
viceroy continued his hemming and ,
though got away at length by his at
tendants , immediately sat down at the
next machine and insisted on working
It
"What Is the price ? " asked Li at
length.
"Your excellency shall have It as a
gift , " was the reply of the exhibitors.
"Then I don't want 3i in that case , "
observed the simple and bland LI , "be
cause I require two , one for myself
and the other for the empress. "
And he had them.
What the Barber Said.
"To shave a man at home , " said a
barber , "I charge a quarter , but to
shave a dead man half a dollar is the
price. About a tenth of my private
customers are women.
"I shave at their houses six or seven
women every day. I don't know why
it Is some women have beards. It is
very distressing to them , and they
shave close and often. It Is their only
remedy. The electric needle is no good
for them , you see , because their beards
are so thick that it would take a life
time for the operator to go over their
faces and pluck each hair out sepa
rately , as must be done in the electric
al depilitating system.
"Beards only grow on old women.
They are one of the feminine disfigure
ments of age. It is the same trouble , I
suppose , as that which affects old men.
Old men , you know , have thick
growths of hair In their nostrils and
ears that must be cut out weekly , and
their eyebrows if not regularly trim
med would grow to two or three inch
es. " Philadelphia Record.
She Was "Founded. "
Netta was a little girl who lived in a
foundling asylum , a place where home
less children without relatives are
cared for.
A visitor who often came to the
foundling had taken a great fancy to
Netta. It was the birthday of Muriel ,
the lady's little girl , and permission
was asked for Netta to take tea with
Muriel.
As it was Muriel's birthday Netta
wished to be very nice to her. At the
same time Netta felt she had an ad
vantage over Muriel , for it was not
every one who lived in a foundling hos
pital.
"You were born , Muriel ? " she asked.
Muriel nodded and smiled.
Up went Netta's head a little higher.
"It is so common to be born , " she said.
"I was founded ! " Exchange.
A "Vlllnpre of Lnnutlcs.
Laos , in Cochin China , is. according
to Dr. Lefevre , a village of out and out
fools or lunatics. A common form of
mania with them is to believe they
have a buffalo in the stomach. Hope
less cases of this delusion , or "pipop. "
as they are called , are thrown into the
water and if they save themselves are
accounted free from the possession.
The Ladles * Gallery.
It Is not perhaps generally known
that an order for the withdrawal of
strangers from the English house of
commons does not extend to the ladies'
gallery , which is not supposed to be
within the house. Ladies can there
fore only be informed of the subject of
debate and left to withdraw or not at
their own discretion.
Chance For Him at Home.
Pslugger ( the eminent pugilist , In a
high state of indignation ) He offers
me § 5,000 If I'll lay down in the Oft'
round ! I'll show Mm , by George , I'm a
gentleman !
Mrs. Pslugger What's the matter
with trying to show me you're a gen
tleman ? Chicago Tribune.
I Played It to the Limit.
I Many writers have declared that an
Irish gentleman's hospitality Is unlim
ited , but this Is a slight exaggeration ,
as is shown by a story borrowed from
a book of Irish lueiaDries.
Jerry McCarile was often the guest
of friends who on account of his pleas
ant ways extended to him that sort of
, old Irish hospitality which enabled a
I visitor in my own family who came for
a fortnight to stay for six years.
I In McCartJe's case the visit stretched
to nearly double that time. After
eight or nine years , however , his kins
man got a little tired of his guest and
let him know of his old mansion's pro
posed renovation and that he had sign
ed a contract for having It painted
from garret to cellar.
"By George , " said Jerry , "it's for
tunate that I don't object to the smell
of paint , and it will be well to have
some one to keep an eye on the paint
ers now that the wall fruit Is ripen
ing. "
Some months passed. Then his hosjt
Informed him that he was going to be
married , adding , "I thought I'd tell you
in good time , so that you could make
leisurely preparations to go , as the
lady and you may not hit it off as well
as you and 1 do. "
With tearful eyes Jerry grasped his
cousin's hand , saying :
"Oh , Dan , dear , you have my hearty
thrnks for your consideration ; but
dear , dear boy , surely if you can put up
with her I can. "
The Iloffnea' Refuge.
There is one corner of Central Amer
ica that is at present a perfect paradise
for men who have committed any
crime. It is a place where the outcasts
of the world's society rule the land of
their adoption and where the officials
of the government protect all thieves
that come to them and make it danger
ous for any detective to molest them.
This is the republic of Honduras , one
of the least advanced of the states of
South or Central America. Honduras
Indeed is a curious mixture of jungle
and gigantic forest , of cocoa and of
rubber trees , of bugs , vampires , snakes
and crocodiles of all manner of things
that creep and crawl and sting and
bite ; a region where life in the daytime
is a mockery and at night one feels as
though sleeping in red pepper.
Here , in every hamlet and city , are
to be found men from different lands ,
mostly outlaws from their own coun
try. Chicago , Boston , New York and
Philadelphia all furnish their quota.
England , France , Italy and even far
away Russia have their share. They
make no attempt at concealment , bear
the names they were born to bear and
go along about their business as if the
laws of their own country had not de
clared them outcasts. London Ex
press.
Naming ; the Chinese Baby.
In China girls are called Instead of
Mary Ann or Marguerite "Spring
Peach , " "Cloudy Moon. " "Celestial
Happiness" or what may not.be con
sidered so nice , "Come-along-a-little-
brother" or "Add-a-younger-brother"
or "Lead-everlasting-younger-broth-
ers. " The latter means that a son
would have been more welcome than a
little "go away child , " as they call the
girls. They belong to the family of
the husbands to be and do not count In
the family of their birth , so that when
a Chinaman is asked , "How many chil
dren have you ? " he makes no count of
the girls , although lie may have ten.
The boys only he c unts , and his reply
will indicate only the number of boys.
He gives his sons such names as
"Ancestral Piety , " "Ancestral Knowl
edge , " "Practical Industry , " "Able to
Sing Out , " "Second God of Learning , "
"Excite the Clouds , " "Beginning of
Joy , " "All Virtue Complete. " The lit
tle slaves who begin life as household
drudges before they graduate lower
answer to such names as "As You
Please , " "Sparrows' Crumbs , " "Joy to
Serve , " "Your Happiness , " "Not For
Me. " Kansas City Journal.
A Little Mistake In Medaln.
The chief officer of a Yorkshire yeo
manry regiment while congratulating
one of the troops on its appearance
made a stirring allusion to the medals
worn by some army veterans in the
ranks. One of the men , a native of
Wharfedale , afterward went home in a
very thoughtful framd of mind , and
next morning he came on parade with
several medals on his breast
Said the officer , "I didn't know you
had been Fit the regulars. "
"No ; I ain't , " said the man.
"Well , how about the medals , then ,
my good fellow ? They can't be yours. "
The man promptly answered : "Can't
they ? Aye. but they be. My old coo
won 'em all at Otley show. " Upper
Wharfedale.
Xot Available.
When at 3 o'clock one morning Mrs.
Newman was convinced that she heard
a burglar in the parlor , she cautiously
awakened her husband.
"Very well , " said Mr. Newman , with
a drowsy patience born of frequent
similar alarms. "I'll get my revolver
from the drawer and go down and in
vestigate. "
"But , William , " said his wife , with a
sudden gasping remembrance , "your
pistol isn't here , dear. I I tied it up
with ribbons for an ornament under
your father's sword today ! " Youth's
Companion.
Means to the End.
Goldrox So you want to marry my
daughter. What means have you to
that end ?
Mr. Forchen-Hunt Oh , we'd be mar
ried in the usual way by means of a
minister. That's easy enough. Phila
delphia Press.
The mineral resources of western Si
beria are vast Between Tomsk and
Kooznesk lie 60,000 square kilometers
(23,167 ( square miles ) of coal lands
wl Ich have never been touched.
Comlnjr Down With a Pnrnclinte.
"Coining down from the clouds in a
jMrachute Is like n dream , " Bald a cir
cus balloou artist "Ever dream of
falling from a high place ? You come
down , alight quietly and awake , and
you're not hurt. Well , that's the para
chute drop over again. No ; there Is no
danger. A parachute can be guided
readily on the down trip , but yo'u can't
fcteer a balloon. To guide n parachute
out of harm's way a practiced hand
can tilt it one way or the other , spill
out air and thus work It to where you
want to land or to avoid water , trees ,
chimneys or church spires.
"Circus ascensions are generally
made in the evening. When the sun
goes down , the wind goes down. The
balloon then shoots into the air , and
the parachute drops back on the circus
lot or not far away.
"A balloon is made of 4 cent muslin
and weighs about COO pounds. A para
chute is made of 8 cent muslin. The
rope that secures the parachute Is cut
with a knife. The aeronaut drops
fully 100 feet before the parachute be
gins to 1111. It must Oil if you're up
high enough. Invariably the fall Is
head first. When the parachute be
gins to ( ill , the descent Is less rapid ,
and finally when the parachute has
finally Oiled it bulges out with a pop.
Then the aeronaut climbs on to his tra
peze and guides the parachute to a safe
landing. In seven cases out of ten you
can land back on the lot where you
started from. " New York News.
"Wanted n Job an BOMB.
A boy of about 14 , with well -worn
clothes and a face In which timidity
and determination struggled for the
mastery , entered the oflice of n ship
ping house on Front street one day last
week , approached the desk of him
whose appearance spoke the control of
the establishment and , catching his
eye , said :
"Do you want a boss , mister ? "
"What ! " exclaimed the proprietor ,
surprised out of his self control.
"I want to know if you want a boss ,
sir. "
"I don't understand you. What do
you mean ? "
"Well , sir , I've been looking for
something to do for three weeks now ,
and nobody wants a boy , so today I
thought I'd see If somebody didn't
want a boss. I'd like to be a boss. "
"Well , well ! That's not bad. Are
you willing to work up to the job ? It
took me 25 years to get it. "
" 'Deed I am , sir , If you'll give me
the chance. "
Today an earnest boy in jumper and
overalls is struggling with bundles and
packing cases in the shipping room of
the concern. He intends to be boss of
the establishment before his side
whiskers , which have not yet sprout
ed , are as gray as those of the present
incumbent.
And the chances , with his energy and
will , are in his favor. New York
Times.
Four Good Sraolces Cheap.
"Gimme three nickel cigars , " said
the man with the red necktie at the
restaurant counter. He was quickly
supplied.
"Now gimme a good Havana or Key
West cigar , about a 15 center. "
He carefully lighted the Havana ci
gar and tucked the nickel cigars in his
upper vest pocket.
"You smoke a Havana yourself and
keep the nickel cigars for your friends ,
I suppose ? " said the dealer , with a
sickly smile.
"No , " said the man with the red
necktie ; "I've got a better scheme than
that 1 always smoke a 15 cent Ha
vana or Key West cigar after dinner.
Then I smoke the nickel cigars after
ward. The nickel cigars taste exactly
like the Havana cigar , and thus I get
the benefit of four choice cigars that
ordinarily would cost me GO cents for
30 cents.
"Try it yourself , " said the man with
the red necktie as he walked out Chicago
cage Tribune.
The Picture and the
A well known artist used to tell a
good story concerning his first acade
my picture. He was favored by many
visitors to see it , his frame maker
among the number. This good fellow
took his stand before the work and
seemed buried in profound admiration.
"Well. " said the painter , "what do
you think of it , John ? "
"Think of it , sir ? Why. it's perfect
You won't see one better , I know. Mr.
has got one just like it"
"What ! " said the amazed artist "A
picture just like that ? "
"Oh. " replied the frame maker , " 1
wasn't talking about pictures. I was
speaking of the frame. You may be
lieve me , sir , it's the frames as gets
'em in , and that is just a beauty ! "
"Wherein They Were Alike.
A country minister who , though a
poor man. was notoriously defective
and hesitating in his style of delivery
in the pulpit was sitting having a cup
of tea with one of the old spinsters
connected with his congregation when
he observed that the spout of the tea
pot was either choked or too narrow.
"Your teapot Miss Kennedy , " he re
marked , "disna disna rin weel. "
"Ay , jist like yoursel' , Mr. Broon. "
retorted the nettled lady. "It has an
unco puir delivery. "
Hovr He Got 111.
Mrs. Askins What makes Mr. Mod-
dlin so sick ?
Mrs. Moddlin Oh , he was out last
night drinking somebody's health.
Town Topics.
"In de case ob er good many men , "
remarked Uncle Ephe , "de lung power
am no indication ob de brain power. "
Colorado Springs Gazette.
The only proper place for the practi
cal joker Is the "dangerous" ward of
an insane asylum. Philadelphia Ga
zette.
BUY YOUK.
. . . .
II1B lill
At DeGROFF & GO.'S '
HEADQUARTERS FOR
Ladies3 Wraps , Men's & Boys'
Capes & Jackets , Clothing ,
Suits , Waists , Blankets ,
Rainy-Day Underwear ,
Skirts , Furs. Sh o es , 0 versh o es.
Lai-ge Line of Neckwear and Fine Shirts
GROCERIES.
The assortment in Every Department is
larger and better than we have ever
been able to show , and YOU KNOW
our prices are RIGHT.
See Our Stock of Carpets and Rugs.
THE . . . .
Casfi
tdargain
O. L. DeGROFF & CO.
Authorized Capital , $100,000.
Capital and Surplus , $60,000
GEO. HOCKNELL , President. B. M. FREES , V. Pros.
W. F. LAY/SON , Cashier. F. A. PENNELL , Ass't Cash.
A. CAMPBELL , Director. FRANK HARRIS , Director.
Kt JMUBMTEC
Our fee returned if we fail. Any one sending sketch and description of
any invention will promptly receive our opinion free concerning the patent
ability of same. "How to obtain a patent" sent upon request. Patents
secured through us advertised for sale at our expense.
Patents taken out through us receive special notice , without charge , 'n
THE PATENT RECOKD , an illustrated and widely circulated journal , consulted
by Manufacturers and Investors.
Send for sample copy FREE. Address ,
VICTOR / EVAHS &
( Patent Attorneys , )
A Thoroughbred Jersey Bull. . . .
. . . .can be found at my farm , 1 1-2
miles south of McCook. He has no re
lations in the county. Fee $1 at
time of service.
FRED W. CARRUTH.
DONT BE FOOLEDI
Take the genuine , original
ROCKY MOUNTAIN TEA
Made only by Madison Medi
cine Co. . Madison. Wis. It
keeps you well. Our trade
mark cut on each package.
Price , 35 cents. Never sold
In bulk. Accept no substi-
tute. Ask your druggist.
DeWitt's Little Early Risers are the best
liver pills ever made. Easy to take and never
gripe. McConnell & Berry.
You htt'e krieAhfn
\ \ tir-f we mtt
'I hat ome o'ly ' you w ' .ifi be
'I he lucky fellow I" ' } choose to let
I'ay for my Kocky Mountain Tea.
Ask your druggUt.
When heaven is in the heart heresies art-
kept out of the head.
tor all fresh cuts or wounds , either on t } *
human subject or on animals , Ballard'o
Snow Liniment is excellent ; while for corn
huskers' sprained wrists , barbed-wire cats and
sores on working horses , it cannot be too
highly commended. Price 25 and 50 cent.
A. McMillen , druggist.
Courtesy is never costly , yet never cheap.
Many people are suffering fearfully from
indigestion or dyspepsia , when one single
bottle of Herbme would bring about a prompt
and permanent cure. A few doses will do
more for a weak stomach than a prolonged
course of any other medicine. Price 50 cents.
A. McMillen , druggist.
