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Inopportune Deaths.
tTnlins Caesar was nssassiuated when
ho had almost completed the task of
consolidating the administration and
domiuion of the Roman empire , and his
death opened the way to that despotism
and corruption which ultimately undid
liia work. Henry of Navarre was killed
when ho had almost healed the differ
ences between Catholic and Protestant ,
which subsequently rent not only
Franco , but Europe , and William the
Silnnt also full when ho was on the
point of uniting the .Netherlaud prov
inces into a compact barrier against the
encroachments of Spain.
In English history Lord Clivo died at
the moment \vhon ho was the one man
who could have saved the American
colonies and kept the Anglo-Saxon race
united , but there is the case of Mira-
beau. Ho was literally the one man in
Franco who could have averted the horrors
rors of the revolution , saved and re
formed the monarchy and eo spared En-
rope the murderous career of Napoleon
and all the devastation it brought. If
ho had lived ten or even five years
longer , the history not only of France ,
but of Europe and the world , would
have been different. It is in fact suffi
cient to say that ho would have made
both Robespierre and Napoleon impos
sible. Strand Magazine.
Pelican , uml Uncle In u Duel.
In Kew gardens , in the presence of a
considerable number of spectators , an
affair of honor was settled between a
pelican and a duck. The birds had had
words together , so to speak , and the
pelican determined that the nest best
thing to making the duck eat his words
was to eat the duck. So , after a little
thrust and parr } ' on the water , he made
for the smaller bird and snapped it into
his pouch.
Then a battle royal began inside the
pouch of the pelican. The duck strug
gled , kicked , quacked and occasionally
managed to get a leg or a wing outside ,
while his captor throw his beak high in
the air , then dipped it into the water ,
and kept it there , as if trying to suf
focate or drown its enemy. From the
look of the agitated pouch it seemed as
if the contest Aas by no means one sided ,
but that the pelican was having rather a
rough time.
At last tlio cluck got his head and one
wing out , au l then , with a magnificent
effort , managed to get entirely free.
Once again on the water , the duck de
clined further combat and fled , while
the pelican remained , looking as if honor
were thoroughly satisfied. London Tel
egraph. |
]
Levin ; ? Cnp Proprieties. j
I have not seou any loving cup passed !
that is true to its name. The loving cup 1
originated as a matter of precaution in i
olden times , when apparent friends had i
an unpleasant method of killing a friend j
who was a rival while he was drinking.
So an immense heavy cup was made with
a heavy cover. The method of using it
can still be witnessed at banquets at the
Mansion House in London.
The persoa receiving it stauds and
turns to his neighbor , who also rises
and takes the cover with both hands.
The first person then raises the heavy j ;
sup to his lips with both hands , and , >
having sipped of the contents , holds it
while the friend at his side replaces the i'
cover and takes the cup , repeating the !
same process iiT turn with his next !
neighbor. Thus , both hands being occupied - :
pied , there is no possibility of one friend |
stabbing another.
In our time the custom has degeuer-
ated , and the cover , as a rule , disap- J
peared. Nevertheless if both hands were
occupied that would not prevent tongues
from wagging later , and words are
sometimes sharper than swords. Phil
adelphia Times.
Rlne Stockings.
According to an English magazine the i'
appellation "bluestockings" originated
In the dress of a Benjamin Stilli gfleet ,
grandson of the bishop , as he used to
appear at the parties of Mrs. Montague ,
in Portmau square. He used to general
ly wear blue worsted stockings , and he
was a very amiable and entertaining
man. Whenever ho was absent from
Mrs. Montague's evening parties , as his
conversation was very interesting , the
company used to say , ' . ' We can do noth
ing without the blue stockings. " By de
grees the assemblies wore called "blue
stocking clubs" and learned people
"blue stockings. "
Excessive Coffee Drinking1.
The Moors are inveterate coffee drink-
3rs , especially the merchants , and they
sit in their bazaars and drink continu
ously the whole day long. It has been
noticed that almost invariably , when
these coffee drinkers reach the age of 40
or 45 , their eyesight begins to fail , and
by the time they get to be 50 they become -
come blind. One is forcibly impressed
by the number of blind men seen about
the streets of the city of Fez , the capital
of Morocco , and this is invariably at
tributed to the excessive use of coffea
New York Ledger.
The Transformed Pythagorean.
Some , uudergrad nates once wished to
play a practical joke upon a man who
was a disciple of Pythagoras , so one day
when ho was a little sleepy by reason
the amount of brandy and soda that
be had imbibed his friends smeared him
with honey and rolled him in the in
side of a feather bed. When the disciple
Pythagoras got up in I i morning ,
be looked in the looking glass at him
self and said slowly , with a whistle ,
"Bird , by Jovel" London Figaro.
2
T Lived Germans. _
It is interesting to recall the extraor
dinary longevity of the three founders
the German empire. William I was
, Moltko was also 91 and Bismarck
was 83 , but indeed all the most illustri
ous Germans of the latter half century
have been long lived. Ranke was 91 ;
Durtius was 72 ; Mom m sen is 81. The
poet Geibel was 70 , Wagner was 70 ,
jiszfc 75 , and the present chancellor is
Her Splendid Tlulr.
When .Mrs. Norton was in the heyday
of her loveliness , a very beautiful Ital
ian woman came to London , bringing
letters of introduction. Mrs. Norton
asked a small party of fashionable people
ple to meet her at dinner , among whom
was Lord Normanby , a great admirer
of pretty women. All the men were en
chanted with the beautiful stranger and
all the women rather jealous. One of
her great beauties was a profusion of
splendid hair , dressed in innumerable
plaits. The women decided they were
not all her own. Before the evening
was over Lord Normauby expressed his
admiration of the wonderful hair and
intimated how much he should like to
see it let down.
"Since you wish it , my lord , " said
the woman , and she forthwith nnplaitcd
one massive coil after another , while
the other women looked on , devoured
with envy. "I am doing for you , my
lord , what I do not do for everybody , "
said the houri , casting up her fine eyes
at the enraptured Lord Normauby
from under her mantle of flowing locks.
"It is three weeks now since I last un
did my hair. "
Which announcement in some degree
consoled the English dames for their
inferior locks.
Gllcu lit the Pulpit.
The tenets of John Wesley and his
disciples were eagerly embraced in Nor
folk , and Giles frequently became a Ic-
cal preacher. One "local , " Sam by
name , is described as "a born teacher , "
though his similes often dropped to the
ijurlesquo. On one occasion he took for
ais text , "The wages of sin is death , "
.lucl prefaced his sermon as follows :
"My f-ri'uds , Brother Paul tells us
; hat the u.ii'nos o1 sin is death. Now ,
let's see wuilicr we kin grasp wet he
maau by't. b'pose I wor tu go an dn my
haarwest for Mr. H. ( a lowil farmer ) ,
an arter all the wuk wor dun go an ax
Mr. T. ( another fa-rmer in the same village -
lage ) fur my waages , wet du yeou think
Mr. T. would saay ? Sure-ly ho would
up and saa'Sam , yeou air a fnle. Go
an ax Mr. H. fur yer waages ; yeou ha'
dun yer haarwest there. Wet du yeou
come an ax mo fur yer waages fur ? ' An
ef I wuk all my loife fur the daavil an
go tu God fur my reward he wool saay ,
'No , no , Sam ; yeon go tu the daavil fur
yer reward ; yeou hev wuked fur him in
the haarwest o' loife ; ho must pay
yeou. ' " Westminster Gazette.
A Suilieieiit Diet.
A quart of milk , three-quarters of a
pound of moderately fat beef sirloin ,
for instance and five ounces of wheat
flour , all contain about the same , amount
of nutritive material , but we pay very
different prices for them , and they have |
different values for nutriment. The i
milk comes nearest to being a perfect ;
food. It contains all of the different I
kinds of nutritive materials that the ,
body needs. Bread made from the i
wheat flour will support life. It con
tains all the necessary ingredients for
nourishment , but not in the proportions I
best adapted for ordinary use. A man '
might ] live on beef alone , but it would ,
bo 1 a very one sided and imperfect diet , ;
but 1 meat and bread together make the
essentials i of a healthy diet. Such are j
the I results of experience , and the ad i
vancing science of later years explains
them. I This explanation takes into ac
count < not simply quantities of meat j 1
and i bread aud milk and other materials [ ,
which we eat , but also the nutritive ingredients - j
gredients ( or "nutrients" which they i
contain. < New York Ledger. [
|
Maiden Speeches. !
Sheridan , one of the greatest of Britj j
ish orators and who entered parliament .
after a conspicuously successful literary
career , BO nearly broke down in his (
maiden effort that the general verdict j
pronounced upon him was that "nature 1
never intended him for an orator. " ; !
Brougham and Canning were equally j
unsuccessful , and many of the most
celebrated speakers of the present clay
displayed no signs of oratory when they
appeared for the first time before the
critical assembly at St. Stephen's.
Mr. Gladstone's maiden speech , de
livered Feb. 21 , 1833 , was a nervous ,
hesitant and almost inaudible effort.
Fire and "Water.
Water will extinguish a fire because
the water forms a coating over the fuel ,
which keeps it from the air , and the
conversion of water into steam draws
off the heat from the burning fuel. A
little water makes a fire fiercer , while
a largo quantity of water puts it out.
The explanation is that water is com
posed of oxygen and hydrogen. When
therefore the fire can decompose the
water into its simple elements , it serves
as fuel to the flame.
A Unique Sljjii.
A sign which was productive of much
discussion was read by the patrons of a
small laundry establishment in a Mas
sachusetts town.
It was printed in large letters on a
piece of brown paper and pinned to the
door of the shop. It ran thus :
"Closed on account of sickness till
next Monday , or possibly "Wednesday. I
am not expected to live. Shall bo un
able to deliver goods for at least a
week in any case. "
Why lie llefnsed to Pay.
"One dollar , please , "said the clair
voyant.
"Not much"ho replied. "I'll not
pay you a cent. "
"Do you think I reveal the future for
nothing ? "
"I don't care anything about that.
Sou told me I was to marry three times ,
and I don't propose to put a premium
on bad news. " Chicago News.
A shrewd old doctor once said : "If I
wanted to torture an enemy , I would
tell him he had an incurable disease.
His life would In miserable , aud ho
would bo almost certain to die beforu
hie time. "
The colder the climate the greater tbo
size of the human brain
Porpolne Oil.
Oils , animal , vegetable and mineral ,
sro second in importance to but few do
mestic articles of commerce. Already
medicinally invaluable in the bygone
ages of hand labor , lubricants have be
come almost a condition of existence in
this century of machinery , and of all
oils porpoise oil is the finest , the most
difficult to obtain , almost the most cost
ly. The difficulty , So it incidentally re
marked , lies not in expressing the oil
from the porpoise , but in catching the
porpoise itself. These cetaceans , like the
fish they prey on , are most uncertain in
their movements , at ouo time playing
by the week in our very harbors , at oth
ers staying a whole mouth far from the
j coast. An economic and reliable method
of obtaining regular supply of porpoises
poises from our seas would bo worth a
fortune.
| At present their capture is no more
{ than accidental. Porpoises are known to
i venture into salmon estuaries during
spring flood tides , returning to salt wa
ter with the ebb , and , as an improve-
i meut on the present casual supply sys-
j tern , strong rcpo nets might bo cast at
I the mouths of these estuaries to inter
cept the invaders as they leave. Probably -
' ably , however , the ultimate solution
I will be found in the rifle and some par
ticular cartridgepreferably fronted with
1 soft , hollow lead to flatten in the crea-
j ture's ribs. It may bo that even with a
j fatal bullet the difficulty is not ended ,
I for it has not yet been shown whether ,
j when fatally hit , the porpoise sinks or
floats. London Spectator.
WcH.iter Covrcil Ther.i.
William Wotmoro Story , the sculptor
'
aud poet , was ouo of the few nieu who
j presumed to call Lowell "Jim" to the
eud , aud Miss Mary E. Phillips , iu her
j "Reminiscences of William Wetmoro
'Story ' , " tolls , iu Story's o\vu words to
j her , thofollowiug tale of the two youny
: meu : "James Lowell and I were very
j angry with Webster for staying in old
Tyler's cabiuet , aud as ho was to speak
in Fauonil hall on the oveuing of the
'
UOth of September , 1842 , wo determined
: to go in ( from the Harvard Law school ;
aud hoot at him aud show him tlmr
he had iucurred our displeasure. There
j were 8,000 people there , aud wo felt
! sure that they would hoot with us ,
young as wo were.
"But wo reckoned "without our host.
1 Mr. Webster , beautifully dressed , step-
1 pod forward. His great eyes looked.
, as I shall always thiuk , straight at me
I pulled off my hat ; James pulled olr
his. Wo both became as cold as ice ant'
, as respectful as ludian coolies. I saw
i James turu pale ; he said I was livid
j And when the great creature began that
' most beautiful exordium , our scorn
turned to deepest admiration , from an
abject contempt to belief and approba-
tion. "
His Hair In IJnnprer.
A young artist whose pipe , eyeglasses
and luxuriant blond hair have made
him well known iu town went to a
garden party not so much for social
amusemeut as for pencil studies of high
life. He were a tall hat , frock coat and
lavender trousers and carried a sketch-
jiugblocka yard square. At the party
his epigrams , paradoxes and fiendish
silvery laugh overwhelmed , as he in
tended , all the girls iu sight or hearing ,
but he got through wi tli his social du-
ties as speedily as might be , theu weut
aud sat down on a distant fence.
Soon pencil studies lay all around
him on the grass. Suddenly ho felt a
gentle tug at his back hair. He thought ,
"That is some fresh Alec trying to guy
me , " and he did not look up. The gen
tle tugging ceased , begau again , became
much stronger , ami theu he feit some
thing wet , soft , slimy , on his neck. With
a dreadful oath ho leaped from the fence
and looked behind him. Back there was
a smart trap , in which sat two girls aud i
a youug mau laughing. The horses were i
close to the fence , and it was ono of ,
those that had commenced browsing ou j
the artist's profuse locks. Explanations
followed and apologies. "All flesh , " the
artist said , "is grass , but not all hair. "
Philadelphia Record.
Some Extraordinary Mothers.
Probably the youngest grandmother
of whom wo have record was a Lady
Child of Shropshire , England. She had
married at 12 years of ago and had a
child before her thirteenth year was
completed. This child in turn married
while still very jouug , with the result
that Lady Child was a grandmother at
27. The most extraordinary cases of
motherhood were those of Mrs. Honey-
wood of Charing , in Kent , and Lady
Temple of Stow. When the former died ,
on May 10 , 1G20 , aged 93 , she counted
as her descendants 1C children , 114
grandchildren , 228 great-grandchildren
and 9 great-great-grandchildren. The
other case was even moro remarkable.
Lady Temple , who died in 105 ( > , had
give birth to 4 sous and 9 daughters
and lived to see moro than 700 descend
ants.
Taste of Dolled AVater.
In advocating the practice of boiling
water ( and milk ) of uncertain purity
Professor Bizzozero combats the preju
dice against boiled water as a bevurago.
He maintains that the "tasto" fre
quently complained of in boiled water
is really caused by the kettle and can
scarcely bo duo to the absence of dis
solved air , of which water from wells
of great depth often contains very little.
Pittsburg Dispatch
A Question of Locality.
"I'll tell you ouo thing , " said Mad-
pop to his long suffering wife , "if
Willy does not behave himself , I'll give
him the worst spanking ho ever had.
He'll get it in the neck. "
"Do bo serious , " my dear , " replied
Mrs. Madpop. "The neck is no place on
which to spank a child. " Harper's
Bazar.
Which End ?
Irascible Lieutenant ( do\vn euglno
room tube ) Is there a blithering idiot
at the end of this tube ?
Voice From the Engine Room Not
at this end , sir.Punch. .
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