The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, June 11, 1897, Image 3

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1'J "Whon Women Writer * Write.
Ill Conan Doyle says ho has always ob-
l | served that whether a woman's atyte
If of writing be plain or florid , it is always '
If. clear and comprehensible. : * No woman
K- that I recol. 'ect " ho "
- can . , says , "has
mL over been tempted into the heresy of
lL preciosity. The word style , which in
mm Prance has always been synonymoQs
Mm with lucidity , has in England become more and more identified with obscur-
jf ! ty , so that if you learn a new writer
fcs is a stylist you nearly always And a
P difficulty in understanding what ho
B | means. The best style , like the best
Kft glass , is that which is so clear that
It ; you do not observe it. Some of our
If critics are fond of talking of purple
H patches , but purple patches were never
III a sign of health. Now , in this respect ,
QL ' I think the ladies have always been on
p , the side of sanity and I do not .think
B ? that any one could have a better model
K of prose romance than such writers as
j\ Olive Schreiner or Miss Wilkins. "
Ii } * New York Commercial Advertiser.
| By using the Flog Brand Chicory , nianu-
W factured by the American Chicory Com-
H\ pany , of Omaha , Nebraska , you can cut
v down your cofFee bill 25 per cent , besides
V v improving the drink. You will find it
economical , wholesome and agreeable.
? , Ask your grocer for Flag Brand Chicory
{ ( > put up in pound packages. If ho does not
fljgffi Ueep jt , write the factory. Samples mailed
| * 3 * free on application.
f V Vernacular.
\ "He is mad ! "
The new footman heard the words
i and trembled in his shoes.
hf Into what kind of a family had the
U ' fates at last thrust him ? he thought
fe Upstanrs he heard a loud voice re *
\ sounding through the hall , and ceca
ls , sionally a tremendous 'bang , as if som.6
j | article of furniture were being hurled
1 i from one end of the room to another.
"He is mad ! "
k The servants clustered together and
jF .the expression on their faces showed
3 . that they were decidedly uncomfort-
1 able.
iA XSarllngton Route Only S22.50 to San
| jb Francesco.
Wg June 29 to July 3 , account national
r convention Christian Endeavorers.
&a Special trains. Through tourist and
Ir" . palace sleepers. Stop-overs allowed at
lv and west of Denver. Return via Port-
k end , Yellowstone Park and Black
n Hills if desired.
* \ Endeavorers and their friends who
L take the Burlington Route are guar-
! w an teed a quick , cool and comfortable
Pfm journey , fine scenery ( by daylight ) and
& $ first class equipment.
'I ' Berths are reserved and descriptive
m literature furnished on request. See
| | \ nearest B. & M. R. R. ticket agent or
ftf write to J. Francis , G. P. A. , Burlington -
| ton Route , Omaha , Neb.
MaL or All Sorts and Conditions.
Jffr | * English papers report a phenomenal
m1 | marriage which took place at South
W Shields. The bridegroom was six feet
i two inches tall ; the bride three feet
lj } . two and one-half inches. The three
KS witnesses were a man without arms
i $ | j 4 "who signed the marriage contract with
llp\ a pen the stock of which he held be-
mm tween his teeth , a woman who weighed
IL 350 pounds and a man seven feet six
IK inches tall.
m I believe my prompt use of Piso's Cure
MjMtf * Y. preventetl quick consumption. Sirs. Lucy
Km Wallace , Marquet , Kan. , Dec 12 , ' 1)5. )
l Apples to Barn.
HI Five hundred and eighty barrels of
Hr apples have been washed ashore at Co-
K Chester , on Lake Michigan , and as the
Wt „ . fruit is on a 6and beach many miles
P from railroad the underwriters of
H Chicago telegraphed the Cochester peo-
Ht pie to eat the apples.
HHT * v The best ; all Kroccrswill refund youi money If
HH ) you nrc not satisfied with It.
| The first thing-a man does whenhe
lv gets drunk is to say that he is a gentle-
m& man.
Ht Kducato Yonr Bowels With Cascarets.
Ht Candy Cathartic , cure constipation forever.
f 10c if C. C. C. fail , druggists refund money.
MWr A girl should never marry a man
Iff whose mother was' a good cook.
( , , piUUI | illl . - IWUiI-l" ' H"'JJ" " '
A Prediction About IUUwayi.
The following prediction , made by
the Royal College of Physicians of Ba
varia in 1835 , is now on record in the
archives of the Nuremberg and Furth
Railway , in that country. When it was
proposed to build thiB line , the phy
sicians of the country met and for
mally protested against it. "Locomo
tion , by the aid of any kind of steam
machines whatever , " the Bavarian
physicians declared , "should be pro
hibited in the interest of the public
health. The rapid movements cannot
fail to produce in the passengers the
mental ailment called delirium furlos-
um. Even admitting , " the protest went
on , "that travelers will consent to run
the risk , the state can do no less than
protect the bystanders. The sight alone
of a locomotive passing at full speed
suffices to produce this frightful malady
of the brain. It is , at any rate , indis
pensable that a barrier at least six
feet high , should be erected on both
sides of the track. "
A Veil of Mist
Rising at morning or evening from some low
land , often carries in its folds the seeds of
malaria. Where malarial fevQr pro vail no
one is safe , unless protected by some efficient
medicinal safe-guard. Hostetter's Stomach
Hitters is both a protection and a remedy.
No person who inhabits , or sojourns in a
miasmatic region of country , should omit to
procure this fortifying agent , which is also
the finest known remedy for dysptpsia. con
stipation , kidney trouble and rheumatism.
A Paradox.
"Man , " said the corner evangelist ,
"is made of clay. "
"Aw , git out , " retorted Mr. Perry
Patettic , who chose to " * assume that the
remark was directed to himself. "Ef
man is made of dirt , why Is It that the
dryer he is the more his name is
mud ? "
Summer Excursions via tbe Wabash Rail
Vacation tours for the summer will
soon be placed on sale. Half Rates to
Toronto in July. Half Rates to .Buf
falo in August. Reduced Rates to
Nashville Exposition now on sale.
Special rates for tours of the Great
Lakes. General western agency for
all Trans-Atlantic steamship lines.
Send 4 cents in stamps for handsome
book , "To the Lake Resorts and Be
yond. " For rates , time-tables , sailing
lists and cabin plans for steamers or
other information , call at "Wabash
Ticket office , 1415 Farnam street ( Paxton -
ton Hotel Block ) or write Geo. N.
Clayton , N. W. Pass. Agft. , OmahaNeb.
A Good Guess.
" "Tommy , who was Joan of Arc ? "
asked the teacher. "Noah's wife , " said
Tommy , who is considered great at
guessing. Philadelphia American.
Shake Into Yonr Shoes.
Allen's Foot-Ease , a powder for the
feet. It cures painful , swollen , smart
ing feet and instantly takes the sting
out of corns and bunions. It is the
greatest comfort discovery of the age.
Allen's Foot-Ease makes tight-fitting
or new shoes feel easy. It is a certain
cure for sweating , callous and hot ,
tired , aching feet Try It to-day. Sold
by all druggists and shoe stores. By
mail for 25c in stamps. Trial package
FREE. .Address Allen S. Olmsted , LeRoy
Roy , N. Y.
Some people like a bad thing so well
that they make shortcake out of goose
w hat you need is something to cure you.
Get Dr. Kay's Renovator. See ad.
Our idea of a good base ball game is
where the home team wins.
Don ! Tobacco Spit and Smoke Year Life Away.
To quit tobacco easily and forever , be mag
netic , full of life , nerve and vigor , takcNo-To-
Bac. the wonder-worker , that makes weak
men strong. All druggists , 50c or $1. Cure
guaranteed. Booklet and sample free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co. , Chicago or New York.
• Com of I.ongRange. .
Twenty-seven foreign ships carry
guns having a range of ten miles each.
Mrs. 'Wlnalow' * * Soothing Syrup
For children tecthtng.softens the tnnns. reduces inflam
mation , allays pain , cures wind colic. 25 cents a bottle-
Engaged people always think every
one is talking about them.
I 1 The Pill that Will. J
Kr zNI "The piU tbat wia H imPlies the Pills th-t W
Hpf IIP won't. Their name is legion. The name of "the Wm
Wm\ / pill that will" is Ayer's Cathartic Pill. It is a v
K- > IIP Pm to rely on- Properly used it will cure conJP (
stipation , biliousness , sick headache , and the / | | | \
other ills that result from torpid liver. Ayer's vJ/ |
pills are not designed to spur the liver into a / | | | \
momentary activity , leaving it in yet more
Mmwf ' iBl incapable condition after the immediate effect mSm '
V E i3 past. They are compounded with the purr
j pw mSm pose of toning up the entire system , removing wmj )
mWt \ . * k ® obstructing conditions , and putting the
I Bi ( | 2p ) liver into proper relations with the rest of the ( | | P
I l\ /llfc. organs for natural co-operation. The record of > v
I K ? | fP | Ayer's Pills during the half century they have v | | | | )
HF * il\ been in public use establishes their great and / f \
| HT | ( | | P permanent value in all liver affections. p/
lm # ' •
Ayer's Cathartic Pills.
mM Dut snce taking Dr. Kay's Renovator I can sleep like a child and am
I K/4 no' troubled in the least with the above named diseases. Your
Iff > Dr. Kay's Renovator \
mMK IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT BN COLD. I am an old lady 67 5
M V < # years old. " Yours , MKS. D A. JlcCOY , 711 So. 27th St. , Omaha.
HjPK / DR lCrt"V'S RENOVATOR has enred so many of the worst cases j
mU\ o DYSPEPSIA that we consider it a specific for this disease and for proof we
MJJf \ refer all to ihe testimonials of wonderful cores reported in our hoolc. It has cured
HI * W .anv toad cases ot HEADACHE , and wbenreaused liy constipation or dyspep-
r * Ma it 1s sure to cure every case , hi faet. we liclieic it has no equal for headacbe f
, and all forms of liver and
tl from whatever eau < -c Jtalwayscures BILIOUSNESS
MW\ Ictdncv complaints. nervousnesi. nctimiiMa. impure mood , .acromla. skin diseases. &
KJ W rdmoles , cotlsl bldtclics , plandular etilanrcnients. dropsv. RHEUMATISM and
Mmt * riles. ltiss61d-bv.druwlRtsprsScntb.vmail i . .itJoe and II. Send stamp for l > r. B. 0
Mwl J.Kay'sHomo Treatment and ValuiblR Rei-Ipes , " a SR-naije T > ook treating all dis-
B\ 4 f cases. Addiess Dr. II. J. Kay Medical Co.Vestern Office , Omaha , Nebraska.
' ' nn aa-ia iiiiign iiMi
from .the Text : "And Asa , In the Thirty
and Ninth Year or III * .elgD Was Dis
eased In Ills I'eot Until : 1 DlieoioWas
Kxceedinetreal"--II. Cliron. 10:12 , 1-3.
o T this season of the
WMBfl7f year , when medical
( l L'lS5r schools otl medicine
flBJL are giving diplomas
ffe s' BW t0 voung doctors >
s j8BhkK [ and at tne caPitai
{ j h K an(1 in manv ol the
* & ! jk jfryhJk cities medical asso-
j ( IKm ciations are assem-
V _ ( | w
bng ] tQ consuif
about the advance
ment of the interests of their profes
sion , I feel this , discourse is appropri
In my text is King Asa with the
gout. High living and no exercise have
vitiated his blood , and my text presents
him with his inflamed and bandaged
feet on an ottoman. In defiance of
God , whom he hated , he sends for cer
tain conjurers or quacks. They come
and give him all sorts of lotions and
panaceas. They bleed him. They sweat
him. They manipulate him. They blis
ter him. They poultice him. They
scarify him. They drug him. They
cut him. They kill him. He was on
ly a young man , and had a disease
which , though very painful , seldom
proves fatal to a young man , and he
ought to have got well ; but he fell a
victim to charlatanry and empiricism.
"And Asa in the thirty and ninth year
of his reign was diseased in his feet ,
until his disease was exceeding great ; his disease he sought not to the
Lord , but to the physicians. And Asa
slept with his fathers. " That is , the
doctors killed him. * * *
Men of the medical profession we oft
en meet in the home of distress. We
shake hands across the cradle of agon
ized infancy. We join each other in
an attempt at solace where the parox
ysm of grief demands an anodyne as
well as a prayer. We look into each
other's sympathetic faces through the
dusk , as the night of death is falling in
the sick room. We do not have to
climb over any barrier today in order to
greet each other , for our professions
are in full sympathy. You , doctor , are
our first and last earthly friend. You
stand at the gates of life when we en
ter this world , and you stand at the
gates of death when we go out of it.
In the closing moments of our earth
ly existence when the hand of the wife ,
or mother , or sister , or daughter , shall
hold our right hand , it will give
strength to our dying moments if we
can feel the tips of your fingers along
the pulse of our left wrist. We do not
meet today , as on other days , in houses
of distress , but by the pleasant altars
of God , and I propose a sermon of help
fulness and good cheer. As in the
nursery children sometimes re-enact all
the scenes of the sick room , so today
you play that you are the patient and
that I am the physician , and take my
prescription just once. It shall be a
tonic , a sedative , a dietetic , a disinfect
ant , a stimulus , and an anodyne at the
same time. "Is there not balm in Gil-
ead ? Is there not a physician there ? "
In the first place , I think all the med
ical profession should become Chris
tians because of the debt of gratitude
they owe to God for the honor he has
put upon their calling. No other call
ing in all the world , except it be that
of the Christian ministry , has received
so great an honor as yours. Christ
himself was not only preacher , but phy
sician , surgeon , aurist , ophthalmolo
gist , and under his mighty power optic
and auditory nerve thrilled with light
and sound , and catalepsy arose from its
fit , and the club foot was straightened ,
and anchylosis went out of the stiffened
tendons , and the foaming maniac be
came placid as a child , and the streets
of Jerusalem became an extemporized
hospital crowded with convalescent vic
tims of casualty and invalidism. All
ages have woven the garland for the
doctor's brow. Homer said :
A wise physician , skilled our wounds
to heal ,
Is more than armies to the public weal.
Cicero said : "There is nothing in
which men so approach the gods as
when they try to give health to other
men. " Charles IX made proclamation
that all the Protestants of France
should be put to death on St. Bartholo
mew's day , but made one exception ,
and that the case of Pare , the father of
French surgery. The battlefields of the
American revolution welcomed Drs.
Mercer and Warren and Rush. When
the French army was entirely demoral
ized at fear of the plague , the leading
surgeon of that army innoculated him
self with the plague to show the sol
diers that there was no contagion in it ;
and their courage rose , and they went
on to the conflict. God has honored
this profession all the way through.
Oh , the advancement from the days
when Hippocrates tried to cure the
great Pericles with hellebore and flax
seed poultices down to far later cen
turies when Haller announced the the
ory of respiration , and Harvey the cir
culation of the bloodand Asceli the use
of the lymphatic vessels , and Jenner
balked the worst disease that ever '
scourged Europe , and Sydenham devel
oped the recuperative forces of the
physical organism , and cinchona bark
stopped the shivering agues of the i
world , and Sir Astley Cooper and Aber'
nethy , and Hosack , and Romeyn , and \
Griscom , and Valentine Mott of the
generation just passed , honored God < '
arid fought back death
with their keen j
If we who laymen
are in medicine j
would understand what the medical .
profession has accomplished for the !
Insane , let us look into the dungeons \
H ) . * ' * 1
iliiKWUMtMinamiiHB-wwuwwniMM WN"W' " iimtiMrm
where the poor creatures used to be in
carcerated. Madmen chained naked to
the wall. A kennel of rotten straw
their only sleeping place. Room unventilated -
ventilated and unlighted. The worst
calamity of the race punished with the
very worst punishment. And then come
and look at the insane asylums of Utl-
ca and Kirkbrlde sofaed and pictured ,
Hbraried , concerted , until all the arts
and the adornments come to coax te-
creant reason to assume her throne.
Look at Edward Jenner , the great hereof
of medicine. Four hundred thousand
people annually dying in Europe from
the smallpox , Jenner finds that by the
inoculation of people with vaccine from
a cow the great scourge of nations may
be arrested.The ministers of the
Gospel denounced vaccination ; small
wits caricatured Edward Jenner as rid
ing in a great procession on the back
of a cow ; .and rjnive men expressed it
as " their opinion that all of the dis
eases of the brute creation would be
transplanted into the human family ;
and they gave instances where , they
said , actually horns had come out on
the foreheads of innocent persons , and
people had begun to chew the cud ! But
Dr. Jenner , the hero of medicine , went
on fighting for vaccination until it has
been estimated that that one doctor , in
fifty years , has saved more lives than
all the battles of any one century de
Passing along the streets of Edin
burgh a few weeks after the death of
Sir James Y. Simpson , I saw the pho
tograph of the doctor in all the windows
of the shops and stores , and well might
that photograph be put in every win
dow , for he first used chloroform as an
anaesthetic agent. In other days they
tried to dull human pain by the hash
eesh of the Arabs and the madrepore
of the Roman and the Greek ; but it
was left to Dr. James Simpson to in
troduce chloroform as an anaesthetic.
Alas for the writhing subjects of sur
gery in other centuries ! Blessed be
God for the wet sponge or vial in the
hand of the operating surgeon in the
clinical department of the medical col
lege , or in the sick , room of the domes
tic circle , or on the battle field amid
thousands of amputations. Napoleon
after a battle-rode along the line and
saw under a tree , standing in the snow ,
Larrey the surgeon operating upon the
wounded. Napoleon passed on , and
twenty-four hours afterward came
along the same place , and he saw the
same surgeon operating in the same
place , and he had not left it. Alas for
the battlefields without chloroform.
But now the soldier boy takes a few
breaths from the sponge and forgets all
the pangs of the gunshot fracture , and
while the surgeons of the field hospital
are standing around him , he lies there
dreaming of home , and mother , and
heaven. No more parents standing
around a suffering child , struggling to
get away from the sharp instrument ,
but mild slumber instead of excrucia
tion , and the child wakes up and says ,
"Father , what's the matter ? What's
the doctor here today for ? " Oh , blessed
be God for James Y. Simpson and the
heaven descending mercies of chloro-
The medical profession steps into the
court room , and after conflicting wit
nesses have left everything in a fog , by
chemical analyses shows the guilt or
innocence of the prisoner , as by mathematic -
ematic demonstration , thus adding hoers -
. * * *
ors to medical jurisprudence.
It seems to me that the most beauti
ful benediction of the medical pro
fession has been dropped upon the
poor. No excuse now for any one's not
having scientific attendance. Dispen
saries and infirmaries everywhere un
der the control of the best doctors ,
some of them poorly paid , some of
them not paid at all. A half-starved
woman comes out from the low tene
ment house into the dispensary , and
unwraps the rags from her babe a
bundle of ulcers , and rheum , and pus
tules , and over that little sufferer
bends tie accumulated wisdom of the
ages , from Esculapius down to last
week's autopsy. In one dispensary , in
one year , one hundred and fifty thous
and prescriptions were issued. Why do
I show you what God has allowed this
profession to do ? Is it to stir up your
vanity ? Oh , no. The day has gone by
for pompous doctors , with conspicuous
gold-headed canes and powdered wigs ,
which were the accompaniments in the
days when the barber used to carry
through the streets of London Dr.
Brockelsby's wig , to the admiration
and awe of the people , saying : "Make
way ! here comas Dr. Brockelsby's wig. "
No , I announce these things not only
to increase the appreciation of laymen
in regard to the work of physicians ,
but to stir in the hearts of men of the
medical profession a feeling of grati
tude to God that they have been al
lowed to put their hand to such a mag
nificent work , and that they have been
called into such illustrious company.
Have you never felt a spirit of grati
tude for this opportunity ? Do you not
feel thankful now ? Then I am afraid ,
doctor , you are not a Christian , and
that the old proverb which Christ
quoted in his sermon may be appro
priate to you : "Physician , heal thy
self. "
* * *
There are many who always blame
the dector because the people die , for
getting the Divine enactment : "It is
appointed unto all men once to die. "
The father in medicine who announced
the fact that he had discovered the
art by which to make men in this
world immortal , himsel died at forty-
seven years of age , showing that im
mortality was less than half a century
for him. Oh , how easy it is when people
ple die , to cry out : "malpractice. "
Then the physician must bear with all
the whims , and the sophistries , and the
deceptions , and the stratagems , and
the , irritations of the shattered nerves
and the beclouded brain of women ,
and more especially of men , who never
know how gracefully to be sick , and I
who with their Ballvated mouth curse
the doctor , giving him his dues , an they
say about the only dues he will In
that case collect. The last bill that Is
paid Is the doctor's bill. It seems so
incoherent for a restored patient , with
ruddy cheeks and rotund form , to be
bothered with a bill charging him for
old calomel and jalap. The physicians
of this country do more missionary
work without charge than all the
other professlones put together. From
the concert room , from the merry
party , frcm the comfortable couch on
a cold night , when the thermometer Is
five degrees below zero , the doctor
must go right away ; he always must go
right away. To keep up under this
nervous strain , to go through this
night-work , to bear all these annoy
ances , many physicians have resorted
to strong drink and perished. Others
have appealed to God for sympathy
and help , and have lived. Which were
the wise doctors , judge ye ?
Again : The medical profession ought
to be Christians because there are pro
fessional exigencies when they need
God. Asa's destruction by unblessed
physicians was a warning. There are
awful crises in every medical practice
when a doctor ought to know how to
pray. All the hosts of ills which some
times hurl themselves on the weak
pcints of the physical organism , or
with equal ferocity will assault the en
tire line of susceptibility to suffering.
The next dose of medicine will decide
whether or not the happy home shall
be broken up. Shall it be this medi
cine or that medicine ? God help the
doctor. Between the five drops and the
ten drops may be the question of life
or death. Shall it be the five or ten
drops ? Be careful how you put the
knife through those delicate portions
of the body , for if it swings out of the
way the sixth part of an inch the pa
tient perishes. Under such circum
stances a physician needs not so much
consultation with men of his own call
ing , as he needs , consultation with that
God who strung the nerves and built
the cells , and swung the crimson tide
through the arteries. You wonder why
the heart throbs why it seems to open
and shut. There is no wonder about it.
It is God's hand , shutting , opening ,
shutting , opening , on every heart.
When a man comes to doctor the eye ,
he ought to be in communication with
him who said to the blind : "Receive
thy sight. " When a doctor comes to
treat a paralytic arm , he ought to be in
communication with him who said :
"Stretch forth thy hand , and he
stretched it forth. " When a-man comes
to doctor a bad case of hemorrhage , he
needs to be in communication with him
who cured the issue of blood , saying :
"Thy faith hath saved thee. "
I do not mean to say that piety will
make up for medical skill. A bungling
doctor , confounded with what was not
a very bad case , went into the next
room to pray. A skilled physician was
called in. He asked for the first prac
titioner. "Oh , " the } * said , "he's in the
next room praying. " "Well , " said the
skilled doctor , "tell him to come out
here and help ; he can pray and work
at the same time. " It was all in that
sentence. Do the best we can and ask
God to help us. There are no two men
in all the world , it seems to me , that
so much need the grace of God as the
minister who doctors the sick soul , and
the physician who prescribes for the
diseased body.
* * *
But I must close , for there may be
suffering men and women waiting in
ycur office , or on the hot pillow , won
dering why you don't come. But be
fore you go , 0 doctors , hear my prayer
for your external salvation. Blessed
will be the- reward in heaven for the
faithful Christian physician. Some
day , through overwork , or from bend
ing over a patient and catching his
contagious breath , the doctor comes
home , and lies down faint and sick.
He is too weary to feel his own pulse or
take the diagnosis of his own com
plaint. He is worn out. The fact is his
work on earth is ended. Tell those
people in the office there thej- need not
wait any longer ; the doctor will never
go there again. He has written his
last prescription for the alleviation of
human pain. The people will run up to
his front steps and inquire : "How is
the doctor today ? " All the sympathies
of the neighborhood will be aroused ,
and there will be many prayers that
he who bas been so kind to the sick
may be comforted in his last pang. It
is all over now. In two or three days
his convalescent patients , with shawl
wrapped around them , will come to the
front window and look out on the pass
ing hearse , and the poor of the city ,
bare-footed , and bare-headed , will
stand on the street corners , saying :
"Oh , how good he was to us all ! " But
on the other side of the river of death
some of his old patients , who are
fcrever cured , will come to
welcome him , and the Physician of
heaven , with locks as white as snow ,
according to the Apocalyptic vision ,
will come out and say , "Come in. comt
in. I was sick and ye visited me ! "
The Light of the World.
As the best light in the worlu is the
warm light of the sun , so the best il
lumination of life is not from the moon
like beams of human speculation , but
from the love of God. That love , like
the sun , opens the universe , turns even . '
clouds into glory , and lifts death itself
to a mount of transfiguration.
Discharged Herself.
Smith Our fool of a servant tried to
light the fire with kerosene this morn
ing. Jones Have you discharged her ?
Smith We have only found her left leg
and the end of her nose.
The torpedo fish sometimes weighs
eighty pounds , and'a single shock from
this fish will kill the strongest horse.
tmiW1MtommmmmmimmmmmMWamMmmmmjmw . minim nYimmfc J H
- = * - - * * • t-
* * - r * - i Wm Mwm
ArUtocratlo ' yVorhlngmcn. Sfj
The discovery that a French nobleman - | | |
man has been working as a "docker" §
in London recalls other cases of nrlsto- > | | j
crats of long lineage who have been re- | l |
duced to similar straits. The Murquta fj |
de Beaumanolr is a laborer in a flour j ]
mill near Nantes ; the Comte de SL < % \
Pol is a gaB-bill collector , and the VI- 1 ]
comte de SL Magfln driven a cab In m |
Paris. II
No-To-IJac for Fifty Conta. | |
Guaranteed tobacco habit cure , finltes weak II
mcnatroDi * . blood pure. 60c,81. All druggist * . 41
Fewer potatoes tire now raised in fl
New England than fifty years ajro. II
pllilK' " HllEinnE [ | The papers are full ! | |
j KaJJ 1 ofdeathsfrom > jl
" • V-\ Tr \ * Jl
wiVo i
V// Jw ( A\ -i - I - * * II
/ L § - rtf ifa
• ni m ciiiiirc ii
HIIIIIIIU. ' . . . .UlilliilUfrl Of course. • jl
• the heart fails to act ; l
• when a man dies , • jfl
• but "Heart Failure , " so called , nine -tl
• times out of ten is caused by Uric J ' I
• Acid in the blood which the Kidneys I I
• fail to remove , and which corrodes I
• the heart until it becomes unabk to <
I perform its functions. \ I
• Health Officers in many cities very •
J properly refuse to accept " Heart Fail- •
J ure , " as a cause of death. It is freJ I
% quently a sign of ignorance in the I
• physician , or may be given to cover II
• up the real cause. • ,1
j OJ ii ! II I
• A Medicine with 20 Years of g jl
g . . Success behind it . . % M
• * ll
S will remove the poisonous Uric Add 'M
• by putting the Kidneys in a healthy *
• condition so that they will naturally • I
• eliminate it. J I
$100 fojny Man. I
Of Weakncaa In Men They Treat ami . H
Fail to Cnre. H
An Omaha Company places for tbe ilrst H
time before the public a Magical Tkkat-
ment for the cure of Lost Vitality , Nervous H
und Sexual Weakness , and Restoration of H
Life Force in old and young men. No H
worn-out French remedy ; contains no H
Phosphorous or other harmful drugs. It is H
: i Woxuekfci. Treatment inngicul in it H
effects positive in its cure. All readers , H
who are suffering from a weakness tbnt H
blights their life , causing that meutul and H
physical suffering peculiar to Lost ManH
hood , should write to the STATE MEDICAL
COMPANY , Omaha , Neb. , and they will
send you absolutely FREE , a valuable M\ \
paper on these diseases , and positive proofs H
of their truly Magical Treatment. Thous-
amis of men , who have lost all hope of a H
cure , are being restored by them to a per- H
feet condition. S
This Magical may be taken H
at home under their directions , or they will H
pay railroad fare and hotel bills to all wliu
prefer to go there for treatment , if they H
fail to cure. They are perfectly reliable ; H
have no Free Prescriptions , Free Cure ,
Free Sample , or C. O. U. fake. They have
? 250,000 capital , and guarantee to cure
every case they treat or refund every dollar ; Her
or their charges may be deposited in a
bank to bo paid to them when a cure la fl
effected. "Write tl. today. H
Shortest line I
Omaha to Kunsas City , I
1025 miles , I
1047 minutes - I
the -world's record for lone- |
distance fast runmns held
by the Burlington Route. H
February 15 th a special |
tram over its lines mada
the run from Chicago to M\ \
Denver a di nance of 1025
miles in the unprecedent- Med \
ed time of 18 nours and M\ \
_ _ i 53 minutes. Allowing for M\ \
[ | WkBMEjR stops , the actual running
f'lllillllUUlll time was 17 hours and 2 <
MtttmrMM minntes , and the average
Hi | | | | | | flj rate of speed 58J miles an
"Write for booklet telling |
how run -was made. 'Write M
also for information about
rates and train service via
the Burlington Route to fl
Denver , Salt Lake City ,
Dead-wood , Helena , Butt * ,
Spokane , Seattle , Tacoma ,
Portland , San Francisco.
or any other western city.
J. FRANCIS , General Passenger Agent ,
Omaha , Neb.
IJiHeases of
Cured or no laj.
tAll Consultation Free.
Valuable advice to Men
Free. A guarantee to cure
every < -im or refund every
dollar. Treatment by nialL
Call , unl m. uor write be
fore it ! • > too late.
Omaha Medical and Surgical Institute.
Southwest Cor. liith and 1)Wse Sts. , Omaha.
X XcDHEbS. I Dm Die for unnatural
f fla\t 5 < l ji.\ I discharge ? , inHaaim Uaaa.
/ - < * . / OaumatttdJ irritations or ulce-atiooe
f Kit/ not u > Krietor ? . of mucous membranes.
I ap [ "au eoo'Mwa. i ainleM , anil not astria-
lfoo\\THEEvtSSCHEHtCitCO. pent or poisonous.
Y- " " \ CmCWHATI.O.fSold byUroEcinU ,
\ \ C.a.i 7 por-nt in plain -wrapper.
. w _ SS\ ' > y "ipr * * * , . prepaid , for
* < " " "S'iQlJ } ' • " > . r3 bottles , 12.75.
V i 1 , . . u Circular eent oa roiues * .
we t dema1s
Examination and dvlce as to Patentability of In
vention. Send for "Inventors * fiu J - . r llow to Get *
Patent" O'PAIUtZLL & SON. VTadiListro. D. a
0ITC1JTQ 20ytars'experience. Send sfeetch rorad-
InlLlilOi vice. ( L.leane.Iatcnrin. "xaminerOJS.
PauOfflceJ : QmiiIJe.\VaAUJJ.a !
' ' Watsi7
'S&TOThMipson's Eye
W. N. U. OMAHA. No. 241897. .
When writing to advertisers , kindly men
tion this paper.
M Best Cough ; rup. TaHes Good. Use H
Ej in time. ? = ol < l by drurefota. gl