The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, January 01, 1897, Image 2

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New Year's Duck.
A "Oh ! Nellie , you should see the love-
H ly duck I got as a present this morn-
H ing it's a perfect beauty I am going
H to have it for our New Year's dinner , "
H said Mrs. English to her friend Mrs.
H Lane , v/ho had come in to see her dur-
H ing the afternoon and talk over the
H Christmas celebration of a few days be-
M "Is your duck dressed or alive ,
B Kate ? " asked Nellie in some haste.
m "Oh ! it's alive , I am going to dress
H it myself , " answered Kate , "it's not
B much trouble to dress a duck do you
H think it would be ? "
H "Well , Kate , I really pity you. I
M must tell you what a dreadful time I
H had with the one we killed last week ,
H it yet makes me shiver all over only
H to think of it , it was such a terrible
B day the memory of it will never fade
H awayI really think my back has not
H once stopped aching since I picked that
H .duck. "
M "Do tell me , Nellie , won't their fcath-
m ers come out , or what was the trouble ? "
H nsked Kate. "I am beginning to feel
m alarmed. "
M "I'll begin by telling you how we got
H the duck , " began Nellie. "One night
B after I had gone up stairs with the
M baby , and John was smoking his pipe
m it must have been after 12 o'clock
H there was a faint knock at the kitchen
m door. I heard John going to the door
M and speaking to some one. and then he
m and the some one went into the garden -
< den to the chicken coop , and presently
B I heard a loud noise and fuss among
1 the hens. It. was Jim Peters. He had
M won a duck at a raffle at a tavern and
H asked John to let him put it in our
1 hen coop until further notice.
H "Now , either the duck did not feel
H very comfortable or the hens did not
M feel as much at ease as formerly , I
H don't know what caused it , but there
M was a constant war going on among
H them. Why , I didn't get one egg while
H that fowl was in there. So I told John
H to tell Jim to remove it or we would
H kill it. At last John bought it from
H Jim and killed it , and said I should
H roast it for dinner.
H "Now , John killed it before he went
H to work , but I thought if I woud begin
H to dress it after 9 o'clock I could soon
H get it in the oven. Then I knew noth-
H ing about ducks ; now I am much wiser.
H "I asked ma you know ma just came
H the day before from the west ; it's the
H first time she had been to see us since
H we were ' keeping house. I asked ma
H whether I should scald the duck or pick
H it dry. She said she had always picked
H -hers dry and had saved the down for
H ' , er feather beds. So I began to pick it
ffl ry.
I iyfSl <
H I PICKED AND PICKED AND
PULLED.
H "I picked and picked and pulled until
H my fingers ached it seemed as though
M the feathers were grown in to stay , and
m .it took so long I was beginning to get
M nervous , so when ma wasn't looking I
M poured some boiling water over the
M duck to hurry uf matters.
fl "But , dear me , then the real trouble
m began. The hot water made the skin
B so tender and greasy that it tore off in
M large pieces , and the down stuck like
1 wax. I really think if I had saved all
M that down it would have been enough
'
m for at least four large pillows. When
m I thought one side was nearly done it
m wouid be all covered with another coat
m of down and fuzz and pinfeathers , and
I don't know what all that duck didn't
have to cover itself with.
"No wonder ducks never get wet
when they go into the water. Why ,
this one's skin was one sheet of fat
and feathers.
"When the clock struck 10 that duck
looked perfectly dreadful. I wish you
could have seen it. I felt so disgusted
I almost cried. Then , when ma saw
the tears in my eyes she said if I would
hold the baby she would pick awhile.
So I sat down to rest why , really , I >
felt so faint I could scarcely stand any
longer , just fussing with that horrid
fowl.
"Now you know how fretful the baby
is she is teething , and it takes one of
sL. # i III
I PUT IT IN THE OVEN.
us to entertain her all the time or she
annoys the family on the other side of
the house every time she cries some
one comes over to see 'what ails that
baby. '
. "When John moves again I am going
to have him move into a single house ,
and then I can let the baby cry all she
wants to.
"After ma had picked until she was
tired a bright idea came into my head ,
and I told her I would skin the duck
entirely then no one would find any
pin feathers and it would look smooth
and sleek all over. It only provoked
me that I had not thought of doing it
before. I don't know why it is , but
somehow my bright ideas always come
too late ,
"So I gave the baby to ma and told
them to watch this interesting per
formance.
"But it was easier said than done.
My , how greasy that skin was ! It was
almost impossible to get a good tight
hold I pulled and jerked and wished
I had never had any bright ideas until
it was finally skinned and the clock
pointed to 10 minutes to 12 and no din
ner.
ner."Then
"Then I had to run to the corner
grocery to get some dried beef I very
well knew John detested dried beef for
dinner , but they had nothing else , and
when John came home he ate his din
ner ( ? ) in silence. But I promised to
have the duck roasted for supper.
"With this prospect in view I went
to work more cheerfully , yet' not very
satisfied , I fear. In order to have the
duck well done I put it in the oven
soon after dinner , and was surprised
to see how small it got the longer it
roasted the smaller it grew , and it
looked so funny , something like a
skinned cat ; when in comes John ,
bringing a friend with him to help eat
the duck !
"Well , no one can imagine my feel
ings. When they sat down to the ta
ble I noticed John looking around for
something , and finally when he saw
the horrid little shriveled-up thii g he
burst out into a hearty laugh , saying :
'Why , Nellie , is this all that is left of
our beautiful duck ? * I never before
felt so mortified. John tried to find a
tender piece for our guest , but it was
impossible to find anything tender on
that duck it was as dry as chips ,
worse than the driest dried beef , and
oh , so tasteless and so dark do you
think I roasted it too long , Kate ?
"I hope I may never , never again see
another duck. "
Some people never find out that there
is joy in giving , because they never
give enough.
"I think it's a shame , Cyrus , that
we've let Esmeralda grow up without
trying to give her some kind of musical
training. She can't sing at all. "
"That's true , Emily but she knows |
, , _ ,
-
l pes her room in cozily. The
/iP r clock on the mantel was
< vl ? ' ticking the Old Year away
rfc
c as fast * as it could hurry
hinio off. l was dusk and New
Year's eve , and that was the time for
the Pincushion Ceremony at Bartlett's.
Fred met Alice on the stairs , and Belle
and Arthur came along the hall. Belle
carried Baby Letty in her arms , and
they each bore a bristling little red tomato
mate pincushion in their hands.
Grandma had placed five hassocks in
a row.
"Come , dearies , " she called out , to
Arthur's subdued knock. They filed in ,
laughing.
"Stools of repentance , " crleS tall
Belle , dropping into her hassock. * ' 0
grandma , my cushion is full of pins. I
broke my resolution every other day.
I resolved to keep my temper , you
know , and I got so tired of poking in
a pin for a slip , nights at bedtime. "
"Look at my lazy pins , " mourned
Fred.
"And my behind-time stickers , "
chimed in Alice.
"I didn't think I did put off things
so often , " sighed Arthur , and then
Baby Letty stuck up her cushion. It
was empty.
"Now , dears , " said grandma , "pro
ceed with the ceremony. "
Solemnly they each tumbled their
pins into a box on the table. Another
stood near it.
"Why , there's not half so many as
last year , grandma ! " cried Fred.
"Why , why ! And we all felt so bad
ly ! "
"Clean , cushions again , " said grand
ma happily , picking up Letty to hug
her. "Now for grandma's New Year's
presents. "
There were beautiful books and
games.
"I always feel as if you paid us for
being naughty , " said Alice , looking up
with a smile from her book. "But I
wouldn't part with my Resolution
Cushion for the world ! "
Arthur looked at his empty cushion.
"I'm glad those pins are gone , " he
said. "A clean start for a happy New
Year. I say , grandma , how we love
you ! "
And four impetuous pairs of arms
almost smothered dear , gentle grand
ma. Lillian L. Price.
The Julian Year.
The error of the Julian year was
corrected in the Gregorian calendar by
the suppression of three intercalations
in 400 years. In order to restore the
commencement of the year to the same
place in the seasons that it had occu
pied at the time of the Council of Nice ,
Gregory directed the day following the
feast of St. Francis , that-is to say , the
5th of October , to be reckoned the 15th
of that month. By this regulation the
vernal equinox which then happened
on the 11th of March was restored to
the 21st. From 15S2 to 1700 the differ
ence between the old and new style
continued to be ten days ; but 1700 be
ing a leap year in the Julian calendar ,
and a common year in the Gregorian ,
the difference of the styles during the
ISth century was eleven days. The
year 1800 was also common in the new
calendar , and- consequently , the dif
ference in the present century is twelve
days. From 1900 to 2100 inclusive it
will be thirteen days.
Three Events of 1890.
Eighteen hundred and ninety-six
will always be memorable in literary
annals as ending the lives of three
great female writers Harriett Beech-
er Stowe , the novelist , Kate Field , the
journalist , and Gail Hamilton , the
versatile authoress. The latter's sig
nature was a nom de plume , composed
of the second syllable in her Christian
name and of Hamilton , the village of
her birth-place. Few identified her
spinster appellation of Mary Abigail
Dodge.
ferfi kn ° w a uttie tem-
IH n ple-
* * ? § LM Its walls are dim
wtOffS an * ow
m&PpM et UP an ( * down
' § | pg ? its darkened
( wwfiSaisles
The blessed angels go.
And he who keeps the
temple
Snould pray to God to-night ,
That Faith may light the altar flame ,
And Hope may keep it bright
That Love may bring the sacrifice
Which Love delights to give ,
And all the angels innocent
May tarry there to live.
And may no evil spirit
Have in it place or part.
What is this temple beautiful ?
[ The tempJe of the heart.
; Ola Moore.
wmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmjmmmmmm
THE INTELLIGENT JURY.
.Even the Court Himself Got Up uuO
Svrorc.
"I don't believe everything I hear
about the ignorance of the average
jury , " said an old lawyer in reminis
cent mood , relates the Detroit Free
Press , "but once , when I visited a
backwoods court in the mountains of
North Carolina , I did happen on an in
cident that shook my faith for a time.
The case was before a squire and the
prisoner was up for hog stealing. It
was the rudest court and surroundings
I ever got into and I should not have
been surprised at anything , but I was.
After a couple of jack-leg lawyers had
got in what they had to say the court
turned the case over to a jury and it
adjourned to a barn to decide the inno
cence or guilt of the prisoner. And
such a jury ! I can never forget what
a motley gang that jury -was. In half
an hour it came back and resumed its
place in court.
" 'Have you found a verdict ? ' asked
the squire.
" 'What's that ? ' responded the fore
man.
" 'Have you found a verdict ? That's
what , ' replied the squire.
' "Why , squire , ' hesitated the fore
man , with a foolish grin , 'we didn't
know thaiwuz one lost ; did we , boys ? '
And even that court couldn't stand it ,
but got up and swore. "
He Stopped the Car.
He was young and neatly dressed ,
but ho retained the biggest half of a
last night's jag. Making his way up
the Bowe/y as steadily as he conl.l , he
suddenly decided to take a cable car.
Unfortunately , he was in the middle
of the block , and cable cars stop only
at corners , but the gentleman was too
much absorbed in whisky and thought
to realize the fact. The first car re
fused to stop , of course. So the gen
tleman retired to the sidewalk , and
entered the car's number with great
care and deliberation in a memoran
dum book. Then he essayed a sedond
car ( about four cars had passed while
he had been putting down the num
ber ) , but the second and equally a third
car likewise did not stop. In each case
he entered the number of the sinning
car in his book. Finally , with an ex
pression that said , "I'll make this car
stop , " he clutched the hand rail os
the rear platform of a fourth car and
pulled back as if stopping a team of
horses.
The car went on.
So did the gentleman with the jag , a
sort of human pennant to the car. A
passenger on the rear platform rang
the bell wildly to stop the car. After
the car came to a standstill the pen
nant climbed aboard and calmly put
down in his notebook the number of
the conductor , gripman and car , then
he dropped asleep triumphantly.
The man next to him saw the num
ber of the car , as he had written it
down. This was it : "Carnumber
321,147770,811. " New York Sun.
Fun at the AYhite House.
The humors of the White House , it is
the testimony of everyone who has re
sided there , would fill many volumes.
Many of them are found in the daily
mail bag. At a dinner the other day
Mrs. McKee told of a letter Mrs. Harrison
risen received while first lady of the
land. It ran :
"Dear Maddam I would like a pres
ent from Washington City , and so I
will locate on you for it. Please send
me a dress pattern and ( here followed
a list of several other things )
please pay the express , as I have made
a vow never to pay anything on an
express package , as I never know what
it is until I have opened it. " Mrs.
Harrison , according to the relater ,
was much amused at this missive , and
"I'll locate on you for that" became
a standing phrase in the family ever
after when some object was coveted.
Another letter received by Mrs. Harrison
risen ran :
"Dear Madam Please send me som ?
sheet music , as I have a daughter that
has some tallents. " Ohio State Jour
nal.
Ever Popular.
Shaded chrysanthemums , yellow
and brown , have been used at one or
two autumn weddings as bridal bou
quets.
JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY
* I
A gentleman iz the party who iz alli i
wuss honest , and allwuss polite , and
keeps his boots shined up , and his finger - t
ger nails clean.
Mi dear fellow , yu kan't git enny-
thing out ov this world unless you ask .
for it , and yu ain't a going to git mutch
eajtyhow , unless you insist upon it.
When yu settle with yurself , insist
upan 10 : ) cents on the dollar ; when yu
aastle with the world , take haff price
if yu kant git enny more.
Mi de.ar boy , don't let enny man git
the drop on yu. This iz a vulgar say
ing , but if yu have got branes enuff , .
yu will use it for a moral purpose. j
There are no doubt plenty ov people
ple in the world who are abuv sus- '
pishun , but I never hav known enny '
one ( not miself ) whom it wasn't safa
to watch.
(
Thare iz a mighty sight ov odds between - t
tween knowing everyboddy , and baring ,
ing everyboddy kno yu ; but thare u '
lots ov folks who never diskover the <
difference. \
There iz sumthing funny about this , i
but I have notissed that yu could sell a <
man a kake ov sweet scented sopn , *
at the same price , with less talk , thr.n \
yu could a koppy of the nu testament
The odds izz just what makes the
difference to wit : Wnat yu learn hi <
yuje own experience allwuss kosts si. i
it iz worth , and sometimes a grate deal j
more ; but what yu learn hi the expen- (
tnce ov others don't kost nothing , and *
\z \ worth just as mutch. <
I The Sacccx * of Henry O. Thorell.
Henry G. Thorell , whose postoflico
address is Iloldregc , Nob. , was at ono
i time a carriage maker in Chicago. Ho
removed to Nebraska in 1877. That ho
has reason to bo satisfied is proven by
the fact that ho is today worth SHO,000 ,
every cent of it inndo on his farm.
Last ycur (1S9G ( ) ho had 2. 0 acres in
corn,250 acres in small { Train , 20 horses ,
SO head of cattle and 150 hogs.
In our "Nkiikaska Book" (10 ( pages
with maps aud illustrations ) , are doz
ens of statements like that of Mr. Thor-
I veil. They are made by favmcrs who
I have made a success of farming. They
j show that Nebraska is as good a state
i as any in the Union.
The book in which they nppear is as
different from the ordinary agricul
tural pamphlet as day is from night.
It is interesting , practical and truthful.
In a straightforward , simple fashion ,
it tells you everything you need to
know about Nebraska its climate ,
people , schools , churches , railroads ,
markets , soil and crops. It explains
why the Nebraska farmer makes mon
ey in spite of low prices and hard
times. Why land is cheap. And how
it is as easy for an intelligent and in
dustrious man to BUY a Nebraska
farm as it is to rent ono in any state
east of the Missouri river.
Every farm renter who wants to be
come a farm owner ; every farm owner
who is tired ot trying to make money
off high-priced land ; every father who
wants to give his sons a start on the
high road to independence , should write
for a copy. Free.
J. FRANCIS ,
Geu'l Pass'r Agt. , Burlington Route ,
Omaha , Neb.
A woman can pick out a bride as far as
she can see her.
Lions and tigers are too weak lunged to
run more than half a mile.
Piso's Cure for Consumption has saved
mo largo doctor bills. C.L. itaker12 , 8 Ito-
Kent Sq. . Phi.adelphia , Pa. , Doc. S , IS'J.n
The fatter u ioman is the less hair slio
bus.
The best time for exercise is about two
hours after a meal.
Gladness Comes
With a better understanding of the (
transient nature of the many physical - '
ical ills , which vanish before proper efforts - I
forts gentle efforts pleasant efforts |
rightly directed. There is comfort in
the knowledge , that so many forms of
sickness are not due to any actual dis
ease , but simply to a constipated condi
tion of the system , which the pleasant
family laxative , Syrup of Figs , prompt
ly removes. That is why it is the only
remedy with millions of families , and is
everywhere esteemed so highly by all
who value good health. Its beneficial
effects are due to the fact , that it is the
one remedy which promotes internal
cleanliness without debilitating the
organs on which it acts. It is therefore
all important , in order to get its bene
ficial effects , to note when you pur
chase , that you have the genuine arti
cle , which is manufactured by the Cali
fornia Fig Syrup Co. only and sold by
all reputable druggists. .
If in the enjoyment of good health , i
and the system is regular , laxatives or ,
other remedies are then not needed. If
afflicted with any actual disease , one j
may be commended to the most skillful
physicians , but if in need of a laxative , I
one should have the best , and with the
well-informed everywhere , Syrup of
Figs stands highest and is most largely
used and gives most general satisfaction. :
kSSSsQUAK-TER. OF CENTURY OT.P.
No UUST nor IIATTJ.K. Out7aiti tin or iron.
A Durnbtcsiibstitutr for Pla tt > rni tvnlls.
Water lroof icatiin of amo materia ! , the
best .t cheapest in the market. Write forsamplps.ftc.
fheFAY31AMI.I.A ? HFiyO CO..CAJ1DKJT , S.J. _
P | AtfCOJ BUSINESS ANDSHORTHANDCOLLEGE
ULrltvLO Actual Business From Tun
Start Teaches business by doing business.
Also thorough Instruction in all branches
by mail. Life scholarship S4" . six months
course 530. Corner 16th and Capitol A venue , >
Omaha , Nebraska. '
I A F V Manager ana Ag-ents wanted
In&mJ 1 for Dr. Kay's Uterine Tonic , no
money required until k'oods are sold "Woman
hood. " a valuable booklet on female disease
free. Dr. B. J. Kav Mcdica ! Co . Onv hi. Xeb I
OMAHA STOVE REPAIR WORKS \
8tote Repairs for nnj kind or itoTe azd . 1
1207 SOUGLA8 ST. , OJIAIIA , SEB.
Vl HWBaf9onrcdinlOta20IBrc. NoPnytlU
Cnred.PR.J.L.STEPHEHS.I'SBAHOX.OflXO.
'iff jg& jTOompsciTs Eye Watsr.
Life J
Is misery to thousands of people who ltavo the > J H
talntof scrofulu in their bloou. For this ter- Z B
rlblo alMlutlon therols norcmody equal to „ H
Hood's M
Sarsaparilla < fl
flip Best In fact the Ono Trno Tlloml Purifier. H
Hnnrl'c Pi He euro Uvcr Ills ; easy to H
11UUU 2 > trlils > tuko , easy to operate. JJSc. M
Sharing u Lop With u Hear. H
Incidental to the recent great storm , |
many stories will undoubtedly get into H
circulation that will exhibit heroism , H
romance and ludicrous incidents dovetailed - H
tailed with the accounts of loss of prop * H
crty and the wreckings of fortunes. H
John llakcr came down Miller river on H
a big fir tree. Mr. linker seated him- j H
self at the butt end of the tree , and after - H
ter going down about a half a mile ho H
had company. A huge black bear , H
swimming for his life in the seething V l
water , climbed on the tree and stationed - ' H
ed himself about thirty feet from the H
man. In addition to his already prcca- H
rious situation , that bear nearly frightened - H
ened Mr. I laker to death , hut Mr. H
Bear was about as badly frightened an |
the other fellow , and when the current H
finally drifted the tree to dry land , the - M
bear took to his heels with as much H
alacrity as I laker. Seattle Post. H
A fiO-Ont Ciili-iular I'rcf. H
Perhaps the most licnutlful cacnilir ! 'x ! if < l for H
the yrur'UT I * Tiik Youth's Comi-aniov Art Cal- H
lfiiil.ir. which Is Klvt'n to i-nch milis.-rlli'T to the ' H
p.iper for thr year'U7. ItHntixIc iixr | four charm- i- * J' M
ink'I'Irtiiri-H. beautifully ri'in | > iltircil In tn-elve Imr- . ' _ H
monloiirt color * . It Ik In form a four pu e foliler. ' M
u hlell , when ctteiidci ! . Is IDVJt Inchi-i > In lzt' . Thn H
subjects arc delightfully attractive. This calendar M
makes a desirable ornament for si man tie. centre- H
t.il > lf or writing iIchIc. It Is orterei ! for yule only M
by the publishers of Tiik Yocth's Comi'xniox at fli H
lit cents ncreopy. Only lireiuisc of the mormons 7 W
niimher puhllslied Is It ikiskIoIc for the ; nil > ! tahers J
of Tiik Companion to slwkI It fro ; to all Con- H
1'a.mo.v subscribers. H
A Clneat KI.sk. I H
Two impecunious Scotsmen came upon - ' * H
on a saloon. They had only "sax- M
pence" between them , so they ordered H
"one nip o' whusky. " They were hesi- H
fating who should have the first drink , H
when an acquaintance joined them. i H
Pretending that the } ' hud just drank , ( H
one of them handed the whishy. re- l H
questing him to join them in a drink. fl
lie drank , and after a few minutes of H
painful and silent suspence , said : H
"Xow , boys , vou 'll have one with H
me ? " M
"Wasna that weel managed , monV" H
said one to his pal afterward. H
' • Ay. it was. " said the other solemn- J B
ly , "but it was a drcadfu' risk. Argo- | | H
YOU WANT A FARSVS and we have , H
; ' 0 miles west of Houston , at CHESTEnviLLE. < H
the host tract in Texas. High prairie , well H
drained , abundant rainfall , t oed soil , low H
prices and eny terms. Don't fail to post H
vourself. "Write and receive our hook "For- H
tile Farm Lands" FREE and information n-s JM
to cheap excursion and FREE FARE. Address J
Southern Texas Colonization Co . John M
LiuderhoIm.Mgr. , llOItialto i' .Idg..Ubicago j H
A Slippery Spot. Y" l
A short time ago an old lad % went on H
board Nelson's ilagship. the Victory. H
The different objects of interest were H
duly shown her. and , on reaching the H
spot where the great naval hero was H
wounded ( which was marked by a H
raised brass plate ) , the ollicer remarked H
to j |
"Here Nelson fell I" H
' • And no wonder ! " exclaimed the old H
lady. "I nearly fell there myself ! " H
Louden Answers. |
Merchants Hotel , Omaha , H
COI' .Nr.I ! FIFTKr.NTH AND IWUNAM STS. d H
Street cars pass the door to and from B
both depots ; in business center of city. AVH ]
Headquarters for state and local trade. flHVH
Kates § 2 and S3 per day. SBWJ
I'AXTON & DAVEM'ORT , f'rjp's.
To Keep VioletH Krvsli. HHH |
To keep violets fresh when wearing BVHl
them on the person , wrap the stems flBVJ
first in cotton dipped in salted water , AVJ
the tops sprinkled and the whole HBVJ
1 covered closely with confectioner's pa9HHl
per , and put in a cool place. In this 9VBV
' way the blossoms may be preserved for jHHBV
saveral days. New York Tribune. 9HVH ]
Cheap r.inds ami Homes H HH
Are to be had on the Frisco Line in flHHH
Missouri. Arkansas aud Kansas. The AVHVJ
best route from St. Louis to Texas and VHVH ]
all points west and southwest. For HHVJ
maps , time tables , pamphlets , eta , call JBHB ]
upon or address any agent of the comflVHS
pany. or , D. Vishart , Ueu'l Passenger 9HVJ
Agent , St Louis , Mo. HBV
Dr. Kay's Lung l'a m is the safest , surest ShBHJ
and pleasautest cure for all coughs. flBVB ]
Naturalists s-ay that a healthy swallow flHBVJ
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tend to li : . Kli.nl , 'J31 Arch .St. . Philadelphia , I'a. H
It is youth , not learning , that makes H
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Hcscraan' Camphor Ice with Glycerine. H
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A Thumbscrew Torture to the BIGGEST NERVE is * H
$
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A Itturns back the screw. It unwinds ths twist. IT SOOTHES. IT CURES. X H
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L ABCRESS STERLING REMEDY COMPANY , CHICAGO ; htZCTREAL. CAN. ; NEW YORK. 233 S - |
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