- - - { _ ' Why Jie Knew It W n s C god , One of the principal mcn in the bureau of engraving and printing had a somewhat peculiar experience in New York recently. , He had occasion to visit the metropo- 9 - , . lis on business , and after a stay of t rev eral days at one of the chief hotels ) he caIed } for his bill. 11'hen it was ' given him he tendered in payment a ' brand new $20 silver certificate. The clerk looked at it for a moment , and then passed it bath. "W1iats the matter , " asked the ofllciaL ' "I can't take that , " replied the clerk. - "I don't think it's goof. " "Not good , " exclaimed the official. "Not good ! 11'liy , m an 1 kn ow Itrs hood. I made it myself. " -v "Yes. " said the clerk , "that's just what I thought"-Washington Post. Ilcr I'hil"sophy. Of course deceit is an abomination , $ and yet it has its uses. It' s very lbe t poison-something to be shunned in i everyday life , but extremely valuable at certain crises. They are mainly . social crises. When good temper can be preserved and harsh feeling escaped t by a little deceit then it should be used -or , at least , so says the social philos- , apher : The greatest joy one can give one's enemies is to let them see that their arrows have struck home. Unless one wishes to engage in the work of afford- 4 ing pleasure to one's foes it is therefore - fore wise to show no anger at their blows and to be entirely unaware of their attitude. 1'ut no trust in uncsPresscd affection. There is only one thing which will pre , vent a man from giving voice to his devotion - votion as soon as he is sure of it and as long as it lasts. That is a total dumb- 1- Hess. Broke the Tobacco Trust. 4 St. Louis , Mo. , ( Special-Col. ) Wm. A. Klrchhoff , general western manager \ , of tie American Tobacco Co. , hast ' startled his numerous friends by stopping - t ping the use of tobacco. For years he had smoked twenty strong cigars daily , and a lees quantity would leave him nervous and 111. The habit was undermining - mining his health , and he tried to quit , \ but could not , until he took No-To- ' \ Bac the medical miracle that has cured so many thousands of tobacco-users. Col. Kirchhoff's craving for tobacco has entirely gone , and he feels better than ever before. He Is a great No-To-Bac entliuslast now. Over 300,000 bad to- bacco-users have been cured by No- - To-Bac , and the loss to tobacco manu factnrers is easily Byer $1OUOO,000 a ' year. t. Iio Worltr(1 liarnato , I ( The English papers have been telling a story//about an allered country person t who recently got the best of Barney ] larnato. Ile wrote to the king of the 1 'V I Xaffrrs asking for relief from emLit'r- rassment on account of an overindulgence - gence in Katlirs. 'My aim , " he wrote , "has always been investment-not spec- ulation. 1v'hen your bank came , I regarded - 1 { garded its shares as an investment and purchased 400 of them at 4 , sinking my little all in them and a good deal i more. They have now fallen to 2 , and I am undone. I cannot face my : : : parish as a bankrupt , and what am 1 to do ? 1 throw myself upon your mercy. " Mr. Barnato was deeply moved by the appeal and replied that he would buy back the shares at 4. On receipt of i this reply the guileless parson wired to his brokers to "buy 1110 shares of Bar- 1 nato stock at 2 and send them around to Barnato Bros. , who will give you 4 for them. " "Eansou's Rio Corn Calve. " Warranted to cure or utoney refunded. Ask you drugglet for it. l'rlce 15tents. . t The first issue of the Atlantic Monthly - thly for 1S96 opens with an unpublished - lished note book of Nathaniel Hawthorne - thorne now printed for the first time. There are also the opening chapters of a new.three part story by F. J. Stim- son ( J. S. of Dale ) entitled "Pirate + Gold. " Two political articles will be sure to attract attention , 'The Emancipation - cipation of the I'ostoilice. " by John R. Proctor , chairman of the United States civil service commission , and "Congress out of Date. " the latter being an able statement of the evils clue to the present - ent system of convening congress a year after its election. J. M. Ludlow contributes an able paper on "The r Christian Socialist Movement of the : Middle of thetCentury. " The man who miitds his own business will I always have somethin ; to do. It costs a great deal more to Le Frond than it does fo be generous. Wo will forfeit 81,000 if any of onr published - lished testimonials are proven to be not genuine. Tan Piso Co. , Warren , Fa. A word to the wise is enough , when it happens to Lo the right word. Billiard tabe , se and-hand. for sale cheap. Apply to or address , A. C. Axtx. ri1 S. i th St. . Omaha , Nel. : The Century for January , following following upon two special numbers- , the Twenty-fifth Anniversary and the Christmas numbers-is not lacking either in individuality or distinction. ' The capable and picturesque artistic' work of Mr. Castaigne Would of itself give distinction to any number of a maTzinc. This month his pencil is applied - , \ plied to the illustration of the first of I several separate papers on Rome by Nr. F. Marion Crawford , who first gives us "A Kaleidoscope of Rome , setting forth contrasts of the Eternal City , with , so to speak , a reconstruction - tion of the city as it was in the time of the Emperors , and coming down to the Rome of the present day , which he describes - cribes withr very distinct detail. Mr. Castaigne shows his versatility in the reconstruction of the Colosseum and the Forum in the days of the Christian martyrs , together with numerous scenes and character-sketches of to- day. 0000000000 r. of opportunity is Life's greatest . lass , Tbir.c of safferIng with t , iEURALi S W ) < § 5 10 , Years Years Years ! l whet tit.h oppOrtilgikp lies 0 in a bottle of I T. JACOSS OEL. I ' IT CURES. i I ? Ot30flQ000 00 043 + ' IP A c' . . . ' - - - I WILL GRdER HELP ? l SAYS HE "WILL ( LADLY LABOR IN EVERY ENDEAVOR. " Nothing More l'atrlotic Than Protection to American Industries-Congress Wilt Legislate for More Revenue and In- cidcntat J'rutectlon-Itevenuc Wanted. r f By command of the people a customs revenue system , designed far the protection - tection and benefit of favored classes at the expense of the great mass of our countrymen , and which , while inefficient - ficient for tile purpose of revenue , curtailed - tailed our trade relations and impeded our entrance to the markets of the world , has been superseded by a tariff policy which In principle is based upon a denial of the right of the government to obstruct the avenues to our people's cheap living or lessen their comfort and contentment , for .the sake of according - cording special advantages to favorites , and which , while encouraging our intercourse - tercourse and trade with other nations , recognizes the fact that American self- reliance , thrift and ingenuity can build up our country's industries and develop its resources more surely than enervatIng - Ing paternalism. - President Cleve- land's message , December 3 , 1895. Whether the president is wofully ignorant - norant ; or deliberately misrepresentative - tive , it is not .our business to inquire. But he must be either one or the other when he speaks of a protective tariff being "inefficient for the purpose of revenue , " and as having "curtailed enuc sufficient for the needs of the gov- ernment. The existing law does not do this. It should either be repealed or amended. It is impossible to repeal It at present. That wfll come later. But we beltevethat , It can be amended. A tariff upon wool and a change from ad vusram to specific' rates of duty on woolens , should add at least $10,000- 000 to the revenue. The restoration of the McKinley tariff lumber duties would add , approximately , $1,000,000. duty of 5 cents a pound on foreign cotton would furnish $5,000,000 if imports - ports continued as at present. Flax , hemp , jute and their manufactures , now admitted free of duty , would contribute - tribute to the revenue. Earthenware , pottery , hides and skins , glass and glassware , fruits and manufactures of iron and steel , provisions , tin plate and many other articles have all afforded more revenue under a protective tariff than they do now. 'To check the large imports of such goods , as we are now receiving , would also stimulate "that , American self-reliance , thrift and in- 1 tenuity" which , as Mr. Cleveland truly - ly says , "can build up our country's industries - dustries and develop its resources. In such a "patriotic endeavor" the .presi- dent "will gladly labor. " It would I "further the interests and guard the I welfare of our countrymen. Moreover , it would supply a sufficiency , not a deficiency - i ficiency , of revenue. This is what is 1 needed. Democratic Trade Revival. The condition of the New York stock market is said to be invariably the precursor of trade conditions. What business men may expect , therefore , is outlined by the following quotation from the Wall Street Daily News : "There seems to be no legitimate buying power. Nb matter how much stocks decline they offer no temptation to the public ; hence , the dry goods plan of marking goods down to figures that I will create buying must be followed. Until a genuine absorption of securities takes place , it is idle to expect any permanent improvement in-prices. For' 1 the moment the uncertainties in the situation will undoubtedly prevent any general or large buying for long ac- count. Aside from the fact that farm t , I - - - - - - - or Qe Rvearms 1ltl orted ill ItI ? ? t i e , 1 9N ; )11c ) Iinleri ? 122 10 t 4ltl'm , iJte Lao isaal ears _ ; f \ endln June 3o 1891 t and ( B9Si Scale IOoooo : 2ao o0 ooooo : u o00 Bettors : pollees : DollarsUallars : : : . : : - t _ = iTjJi . . o i r ? orl ; . 1 ' . , t. t 'i ! t ' ; ' G.orm.rai Ji , , t.I _ . , h " ' L87) ! " 1C00i7 20000 t : 300000 00000 I ScO ll : . Dollars : Ool ars Del ors : : Ool ars . our trade relations and impeded our entrance to the markets of the world. " He has but to consult the trade and revenue - enue statistics of the United States to learn that such statements are false in every particular. Hoping that some congressman will publicly present the facts so that they may be published the Congressional Record , we turn to what we deem to be the policy of the friends of protection in the fifty-fourth congress. The idea of creating "renewed activity - tivity and enterprise in all business circles" by an "increase of our bonded debt" is so absurd that it has suggested - ed questions as to the president's san- ity. Of course , such a proposition wilt not receive a moment's serious consideration - sideration , but the friends of protection - tion should set themselves to work to devise means for increasing the revenue nuo so as to meet our expenditures. The Republicans have always done'thic heretofore and they will not hesitate again. Their duty is too plain. Revenue - nue must be furnished , and the president - 1 dent offered his co-operation in the following clostng words of his message - age : "I desire , however , to assure the congress that i am prepared to cooperate - erate with them in perfecting any other measure ( than increase of our bonded debt" ) , promising thorough and prat- , tical relief , and that I will gladly labor with them in every patriotic endeavor to further the interests and guard the welfare of our countrymen whom in our respective places of duty we have undertaken to serve. " There can be no more "patriotic. endeavor - deavor to further the interests and guard the welfare of our countrymen" than by the reenactment of a protective - ive tariff policy. The complexion of the senate , however , prevents this being done at once. Meantime there need be no further necessity for a deficient revenue - enue such as we have experienced under - der the Gorman tariff. The protectionists - ionists must prepare a bill for revenue purpose : . To do this will require the exercise of much care antl judgment. But there are members of the house of representatives - tatives who are fully equal to the occa- iion ; , and it is the prime duty of the holl5e of represei taUves to furnish rev- . r. + products are at starvation prices and that there is a halt in industrial activity - ity , is the coming meeting of congress and its unsettling consequences. There is also the question of gold exports , which are likely to take place at almost - most any moment. " Reports from all hands on the general - eral condition of trade in every line of business , and from all authorities , are i indicative rather of the nature of a wake. Perhaps this is the free-trade notion of revival. The Duty of Congress. Free trade and no foreign policy advocates - vocates appear to be without a leader. The man who poses to be better than his people appears to be without a l party. Old and tried officials in finance - nance and government are talking to more earnest listeners , and will likely again be called upon to reinstate confidence - dence , business and stability in American - ican enterprises still sorely embar- rassed. The 54th congress will place i t the responsibility of the additional public debt and the chronic deficiency in treasury funds exactly where it be- l longs.-Clapp's Weekly Market Letter. Pulitzer's Tax on Labor. There is no necessity whate er for attacking American labor by inc easing the tariff on raw material used in our manufactures of woolens. A gentle increase - crease in the beer tax 'will supply all , needed revenue.-The World , N. Y. Would not this be "attacking American - t ican labor" by increasing the cast , lesseaii g the quantity or deteriorating I the quality of "American labor's" daily - ly reffesament. Can this be from the ; pen of that Pulitzer zvho poses as the friend of labor and forces the people ' I to such a condition that they must accept - cept his free bread charity , or starve ? , Wilson Not in Congresv. The next tariff will be made by the party of protection. It will be an t American taritii , framed with a view l t to give American industry the first chance in the ? .mtrican market. It will t lack the sweet simplicity of ad valorem duties , which hold out the largest rewards - wards to the exporters , and importers , who do the tallest swearing.-The Ini i telligencer , Wheeling , W , Va. 1 Beware of Ointments for Catarrh That Contain Mercury , i As mercury will surely destroy the sense of smell and completely derange the whole system when entering it through the mucous surfaces. Such articles - ticles should never be used except on prescriptions from reputable physicians - cians , as the damage they will do is tenfold - fold to the good you can possibly derive from them. IlaiPs Catarrit Cure , manufactured - factured by F. J. Cheney & Co , . Toledo , 0. , contains no mercury , and is taken internally , acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the . In buying Hall's Catarrh Cure , b i sure you get the genuine. It is taken internally - ternally , and made in Toledo , Ohio , by F. J. Cheney & Co. Testimonials free. Sold by druggists ; price , 75c per bot- tie. Hall's Faintly Pills , 25e. Itisntarek's Lower Lip. It is said that Prince Bismarck is particularly - ticularly well pleased with the truthful way in which Pfretzschner , the sculp toi- , has treated his lower lip in the relief lief medallion for his monument being erected on the Rudelsburg. "The artists - ists , " he says , "have always made my busts without giving me justice as far as my lower lip is concerned , and that is wrong. It is there , and it is there very much-but not too much , for that would indicate willfulness. That was never one of my qualities , and I have always been amenable to argument if better opinions than mine were riven. IIut a well formed lower lip indicates perseverence. " Lpon the completion of the artist's work the urince took the modeling spitula into his own hand and engraved personally his well known "V. B. , " giving the medallion a signature which no other Bismarck portrait - trait has ever received. 8300 I\ PRIZES ON OATS AND COH Last year we offered g20i for the biggest yield on oats. 209 bushels 8i1- ver Mine Oats won the prize. This year we offer $200 more on oats , $100 on Silver King Barley , a barley yielding in 1895 116 bushels per acre , and $100 on Golden Triumph Yellow Dent Corn , the corn of your dreams ! What's Teosinte and Sand Vetch and Sacaline and Lathyrus and Giant Spur- ry and Giant Incarnate Clover and lots of such things ? They'll make you rich if you plant a plenty. Catalogue tells you ! If you will cut this out and send it with lOc. postage to the John A. Salzer Seed Co. , La Crosse , Wis. , you will get free 10 grasses and grains , including above oats , barley , corn and their mam- moul catalogue. Catalogue alone 5c. w.n. A. Standish Memorial. Three hundred patriotic ladies and gentlemen , descendants of revolutionary - ary sires , gathered in Squantum , Mass , the other day to commemorate the landing at that place September 30 , 1621 , of Captain Myles Standish and his party. The site was marked by a monument built of beach stones in the form of a cairn , about ten feet high and three feet in diameter. The cornerstone - nerstone , a round white flint , was laid jointly by Mr. Adams and Mrs. Lee and a polished granite table wasplaced in one side , bearing this inscription : 'Captain Myles Standish , with his men , guided by the Indian , Squanta , landed here September 30 , 11i21. This memorial is erected by the Daughters of the Revolution of the commonwealth - wealth of Massachusetts , September 30 , 1890. " "BItowN's B1toNC111Ar. Trocirs" are of great service in sul cluing Hoarseness and Coughs. So.d only in Loxes. Avoid mu- tations. The Literature of Crime. luffalo Express : Those persons who like to fancy that published accounts of crime tend to incite people to commit similar crimes can amuse themselves by discussing the possible responsibility of Marv E. Wilkins for a recent murder in Albany , Ore. Miss Wilkins' detective - tive story , published in the Express , told of a woman who dressed in man's clothes to commit a murder. Very soon after its publication this Oregon woman actually donned male garb and committed a murder. To be sure , she may never have heard of Mary E. Wilkins or her story. Then , again , it is usually the true stories of crime as published in the newspapers which meet objection from these critics. They may be as ready to argue that literature ought to be suppressed as that news should be. But perhaps they can induce an argument to show that no person should be allowed to learn to read. Ilrgemants Canapitor lcewit h Glyeerlue. CuresChapped Bands andFace , TenderorSore Feet , ChIlblaiusriles. &c. C. G. Clark Co.Newlta'.cuCL. Then and Now. Twenty-five years ago II. B. Mears , an inventive watchmaker of Youngstown - town , 0. , turned out a bicycle which , though heavier , was very similar .to the bikes now in use. The people did not take kindly to the new machine , and when Mears continued to use it against their protest he found that his business was injured , and he was finally - ly compelled to close his store and locate - cate elsewhere. Now everyone in town who can afford it , and many who cannot , is riding a wheel.-Pittsburg i I Dispatch. Tame Parrot of Poets. Sir Lewis Morris , the recently knighted tame parrot of well known poets , comes to the front with commendable - mendable regularity on every public occasion which offers reasonable excuse for an ode or an elegy. It is said that he tried to induce various American newspapers to cable across the Atlantic his recent effusion on the subject of the Armenian atrocities , but even a new knighthood proved too weak a weapon to accomplish this high-handed assault on fame. "Lord Sallisbury will deliver - liver Armenia from Turkish oppression - sion , " sighs one weary reviewer , "but who will deliver the public from Sir Lewis Morris-Chicago Times-Herald. Ghosts are Pule 1111(1 Shadowy , cay tlo a who profess to have interviewed 1 them , Whether spooks hre tallow-faced or not , mortals are whose blood Is thin and watery In consegaenre cf Imperft'ct atinintl- latlon. When invalids resort to llostetter'x Stomach Bitters , and use that unequalled tonic persistently , they soon "plclt up" ht strength , Ilesh at.il color. ttshould be used also to prevent malarial. rheumatic unit kidney romplahttS. and to remedy coustipa- t1on , sick headache and nervousness. The rule still holds good that tire bicger the seeve : the more modish the garment. FITS-AilFltsstoppedtreehyDr.I llne'SOrrnt 1 ervcRestorer. No Fltsaftertbenretttay'sy Marvelous cures. Treatise ant ! StItrialluttleretr ' 1l cakes. bend toDr.Kllue,931Arch5t.Yblla.Pu , A teaspoonful of flavoring extract is enough for a plain cake. "I have /rled Par ket 's (7luzer Toole and , bciievt + in It , " s t ) , a mother. and so wl 1 you say when fuwillar with its ruvitallzit g properties. Scattering chorido : of limo about will banish fleas. Jut how It doe.lt 1 „ not the qut anon. It h enough to know tlatll'ndercorns , takes out the euns , and a very pleuing r.llef It Is. 15c , at druggists The fan is now an inseparable adjunct of all dainty evening toilettes. If the Baby is Cutting Teetn , aesuro andueothat okl and scil trfed remedy , lies. Wi SLOW'sSaonnL'aSvataforChildrenTccthng- A six pound roast requires one hour's roasting to be rare. fi i ! f 1 tt L - - ' , . - C. . . . t ® : i w o Boti the method and results when SYrup of Figs is taken ; it is j/leasnit , anti refreshing to the taste. anti acts gently yet promptly on the Kidney's , Liver and Bowels , cleanses the system tem elfectually , dispels cold" , headaches - aches and fevers and cures habitual colistipatioll. Syrup of Figs is the only lcllietly of its kind ever fpro- I duced , pleasing to the taste and acceptable - 1 ceptable to the stonlltch , prompt in its action alid truly belieliciat in its effects , prepared only from tits most healthyand agreeablesubstancc , its l manyexcellent qualities commend it I , to all and have made it the most ' popular remedy known. yrnp of Fits is for sale in 50 t cent bottles br all leading drug- . .Ally reliable dr IIRni : t who may not have it on Band tiviit ! procure - cure it promptly for any one who wishes to ti'v it. Do IIOt accent any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. SAN FRAh'CiSCO , CAL totusur1JF , rr. N'Eii' YCR1r tv l' J 7 t L I i E l * ; i ( I 1 1 Y , w f I . . I I t3 ; 1 ' f ti 1 / , yfr..1 t a arc , jq \ \ 4\ / , ) ij 1 { fly ( tt s. Ir ' t MELD MD 61OC FENCE WERE. 26 , 33 , 42 , 50 , or 58 inches high. Quality and wurkman5hp tabest. . Nothing on the market to compare with it. VVrte for dill iufcrt rd. UNION FENCE'COMPANY , DE KALE , iLL. U ' UU U U UJ. _ , , UU JU J The The 0 1 i TcsLJ ' ) There are two kinds of sarsaparilla : The best-and the C S rest. The trouble is they look alike. And when the rest dress like the best Wlio s to tell them apart ? Well , "the tree l'p ) , is known by its fruit. " That's an old test and a safer one. And the taller the tree the deeper the root. That's another _ 0 ) test. What's the root , -the record of these sarsaparillas ? The . .i l c1 , one with the deepest root is Ayer's. The one with the richest fruit that , toot is Aver's. Ayer's Sarsaparilla has a record of ' " ( r I half a century of cures ; a record of many medals and awardsr culminating in the medal of fire Chicago World's Fair , which , admitting Ayer's Sarsaparilla as the best-shut its doors against U the rest. That was greater honor than the medal , to be the only 1Q , Sarsaparilla admitted as an exhibit at the World's Fair. If yet. i want to get the best sarsaparilla of your druggist , here's an f L' J ' infallible rule : Ask for the best and you ' 11 get Ayer's. As ) : ' for Ayer's and you'll get the best. . Ct t . s . . , . . . . . . . . . - ' - : _ (7 . * s , , ' ' AE7iSIu U. ; . .t. . doz : ' 'er ton rcrG's ! tIedmlll busiee& + , b tsa o it : u3 rcd4G:1 n e cuss of v7Iadpowertol : ( vbr it as.r Ica:7brtte hcu3.3z 1 sttppi : tLz' ud.tud repera : icutaudd s fun tt ia beterertciefarteae.ee ; 7L'tan oer. It mites Puncpiu and ( i.ared , : : ect , G.dvte aite - E Compiet1u P ! ndm ib. Titan- tad Flzott St ei 'fir 1 r ? . tt'eI Eizz sari Frames , 5t. e1 reed Cutlets aeJ f'ted Grinders. Ot eppication : it it ill native ono of these arucbs rho. I : . ! ; * ' : rtish until Jamsr71st at in n.e usual p cv. IL xn matey inns gad Pun ps of ll tSrds. y.nd far ca:3tnat.e. Factor : lab , [ fockwztl rrd rii ! ceStac i.Chce . WELL ANEY ! Al IiIestrated cataloae phoning WELL 1' ) UGEIIS , P.OCITDniLLS , IIYDRSt7LIC 4'J II AND JETTING MACUINERY , et , . sasr Petit. Have been tested and ell unncnted , Sioux City Engine and iron Work , , Sacves ors to Pet h ytg. Co. Sion City' intct. Tan Ser > u..C'n taet t , , peer : " ( o . iii 1rt llr.rn : a : rr _ . K.-i. ' a" - - r 3forphine habit Cur.a ; n 10 to:0days. Nc.aytill , urcd. DR.J. STEPHEN3 , Lean.nOio. lv. N. U. , OMAHA-i-1 writing to : tdvertier , kindly mention this paper. - - a- ti.E , . itiEitE Ail alb , . gulls , 'j Ec : t Cough .iprcp. taste Goad. Gm . ' in tIee. void by c c r % .a- i 1' f . 1 t. I t _