A College Wag.
In a certain college, nnder Presbyte
rian auspices, not a hundred miles from
New York, it is a rule that the students
shall attend church at least onoe each
Sunday, either in the college chapel or
some other church in town which they
shall designate, and for non-attendance
satisfactory reasons must be given. Of
course, on Monday mornings, when
these reasons are called for, much in
genuity and some fun are brought out.
In one of these interviews, Prof. L
asked a student, “Mr. 0-, where did
you attend church yesterday ?”
Mr.C-replied, “ The F irst Church,
sir.”
The professor, looking a little sur
prised, said, “Are you not aware, Mr.
C-, that these was no service at the
First Church yesterday ?”
This was a poser, but was coolly met
by, “I mean, professor, the first church
I came to."
A general laugh followed, and some
how the young gentleman got rescued.
—Harper's Magazine.
Historical Snatches.
Notes and bills first stamped. 1782.
Use of quicksilver, discovered in re
fining silver ore, 1540.
Pens for writing were first made from
quills in (>15.
Paper money first used in America,
1740.
Signals at sea first devised by James
n., 1G65.
Tulips first brought into England,
1578.
Thread first made at Paisley, in Scot
land, in 1722.
Mortars for bombs first made in Eli*
flnnd, 1543.
Microscopes first used in 1621; the
fiouble ones, 1624; solar microscopes
Invented, 1740.
Letters were invented by Memnon, the
Egyptian, 1822 B. C.
Earthen vessels were first made by the
Romans,' 715 B. C.; the first made in It
aly in 1710 ; the present improved kind
originated in 1763.
Insurance policies were first used in
Florence in 1523; first society estab,
lished at Hanover, 1530 ; that at Paris
1740.
Why She Cried.
Mother—What have you done to
your little sister?
Boy—Nothing’.
“Then what is she crying for?”
“She’s cryin’ because she can’t
think of anything to cry for.”—Pear
son's Weekly.
INVESTIGATE the irrigated lands ol
Idaho and you will
find them the cheap
est, the best and the
most accessible to
markets.
EMIGRATE to Idaho and you will
be happy. Its a new
country, its for the
poor man aud the
smaller farmer aud
fruit grower.
IRRIGATE the lands of Idaho
and you have a
surety of crops and
fruit in abundance.
COGITATE? Of course you will,
then send for our
Idaho advert i s i n g
matter. Address E. L.
Lomax,
G. P. & T. A., Omaha, Neb.
.TOURIST TRAVEL
fo"COLORADO RESORTS
Will set In early till, year, and tiia Crer.t Rock
bland Route has u.'fi'vlr ample and perfect tr- |
KfilSSanta » transport the «S.Bf rt? tS*> «® ’
the lovely cool of Culer-i^o 0
HIGH ALTITUDES.
The Traci is peifect, aud double over important 1
Division*. Train Equipment thfc very best, and a solid
Ve*tibu!ed Train called the BIO FIVE leave* Chicago
daily at 10 p. m. and arrives seeond morning at Denver
or Colorado Spring* for breakfast.
Any Coupon Ticket Agent can give yon rates, and
further information will be cheerfully and quick'y re*
•ponded to by addressing JNO. SEBASTIAN
General Passenger Agent, Chicago.
-.-.-- ;
EDUCATIONAL,
ClinDTUAWn i5,snzbt by expert effi 1-1 court |
OliUn I ItnrlU repor.e-s at the Omaha Cvilc-ge .
ef Shorthand and Typewriting Omaha. Neb. Send I
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WnrthinatfinM|L!T
IV Ul IIHIIglUII KET. J. Hewitt, Lincoln. Neb
Omalw Medical SiSySSS!
OMAHA BUHousIs.
cf?Y DYE WORKS SS'"11: |
Billiard and Pool Tables, C A I
Bar Gliveware. Send for ^^ ™ w w IV
catalogue. C.ute Pity p|w».
Billiard Table Co. Omaha FI XT U H ES
WANTED sALESMiaaSRVSKs
sed California a lues. Send 1 pos
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1310 r arnam Street, Omaha, Neb.
■ ■ ■ a fa || Omaha, cor. 14th
Hotel Dellonegsg
Best 93.00 a day house In the state. Fire proof
BEED A CA8ET, Proprietors.
Silksini Dress Goods!!
V 11It V f^tshionable Mlks.Dress Goods and line
Laces in America at lowest prices
ever known. Samples free. It pays to keep posted.
Write to HAY1)E.\ BKOB., Oasoka.
Cameras5250-2—
Beyn Photo Supply Co., Exclusive Agents, 1215
Farnam St.. Omaha Everything in Photo Supplies
for Professionals and Amateurs.
Wall Paper 4c Roll
Only S1.00 required to paper walls of
room 15x15, Including border. Send lOe
postage and get FREE, loo beautiful sam
ples. and guide how to paper. Agents' large
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order. Write quick.
HENRY LEHMANN,
16M-KM Douglas St.. - OMASA, NEB.
DR.
Me GREW
IS THE ONLY
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WHO TREATS ALL
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I WonkBM and Been*
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TABERNACLE PULPIT.'
_
A SERMON APPROPRIATE TO
THE TIMES.
'He chat Sllt'th la the noavcaft Shall
Laugh"—"Then VV'aa Our Mouth Filled
with Laughter"—Uleased Are the
Weak; Thcj'll Laugh.
Brooklyn, July 15.—Rev. Dr. Tal
rnage, who is now in Australia on liis
round-the-world journey, has selected
as the subject for his sermon through
the press to-day, "Laughter,” the text
being taken from Psalm 120: 2: "Then
was our mouth filled with laughter,”
and Psalm 2: 4: "He that sitteth in
the heavens shall laugh.”
Thirty-eight times does the Bible
make reference to this configuration
of the features and quick expulsion of
breath which we call laughter. Some
times it is b'Vn of the sunshine and
sometimes the midnight Sometimes
it stirs the sympathies of angels and
sometimes the eachinnation of devils.
All healthy people laugh. Whether it
pleases the Lord or displeases him;
that depends upon when we laugh and
at what we laugh. My theme to-day
is the laughter of the Bible, namely:
Sarah’s laugh, or that of scepticism;
David’s laugh, or that of spiritual ex
ultation; the fool’s laugh, or that of
sinful merriment; God’s laugh, or that
of infinite condemnation; heaven’s
laugh, or that of eternal triumph.
Scene: An Oriental tent; the occu
pants, old Abraham and Sarah, per
haps wrinkled and decrepit. Their
three guests are three angels—the
Lord Almighty one of them. In return
for the hospitality shown by the old
people God promises Sarah that she
shall become the ancestress of the
Lord Jesus Christ. Sarah laughs in
the face of God; she does not believe
it She is affrighted at what she has
done. She denies it She says: “I
didn’t laugh.” Then God retorted
with an emphasis that silenced all
disputation; “But thou didst laugh.”
My friends, the laugh of scepticism,
in all ages, is only the echo of Sarah’s
laughter. God says he will accomplish
a thing; and men say it can not be
done. A great multitude laugh at the
miracles. They say they are contrary
to the laws of nature. What is a law
of nature? It is God's way of doing a
thing. You ordinarily cross a river at
one ferry. To-morrow you change for
one day and you go across another
ferry. You made the rule. Have you
not the right to change it? You ordi
narily come in at that door of the
church. Suppose that next Sabbath
you should come in at the other door?
It is a habit you have. Have you not
a right to change your habit? A law
of nature is God's habit—his way of
doing things. If he makes the law,
has he not a right to change it at any
time he wants to change it? Alas! for
the folly of those who laugh at God
when he says: “I will do a thing;”
they responding: “You can't do it.”
God says that the Bible is true—it is
all true. Bishop Colenso laughs; Her
bert Spencer laughs; Stuart Mill
laughs; great German universities
laugh; Harvard laughs—softlv! A
great many of the learned institutions
with long rows of professors seated
on the fence between Christianity and
infidelity, laugh softly. They say:
“We didn’t laugh.” That was Sarah’s
trick. God thunders from the heav
ens: “But thou didst laugh.” The
of J2den was only a fable
TheTe neve? yras any ark builtj or if it
was built, it Was t6o small to have
two of every kind. The pillar of fire
by night was only the northern lights.
The ten plagues of Egypt only a bril
liant specimen of jugglery. The sea
parted, because the wind blew vio
lently a great while from one direc
tion. file sun and moqp did not gut
themselves out of the way for
.Toshua. Jacob's ladder was only hori
zontal and picturesque clouds. The
destroying angel smiting the first-born
in Egypt was only cholera infantum
become epidemic. The gullet of the
whale, by positive measurement, too
small to swallow a prophet The
Stof v of the immaculate conception a
shock to all decency. The lame, the
dumb, the blind, the halt, cured hy
mere human surgery. The resurrec
tion of Christ’s friend, only a beauti
ful tableau: Christ, and Lazarus, and
Mary, and Martha acting their parts
well. My friends, there is not a doc
trine or statement of God’s holy word
that has not been derided by the scep
ticism qf the day. I take up this book
of King James’s translation. I con
sider it a perfect Bible; but here are
sceptics who want it torn to pieces.
And now, with this Bible in my hand,
let me tear out all those portions
which the scepticism of this day de
mands shall be torn out What shall
go first? “Well,” says some one in the
audience, “take out all that about crea
tion and about the first settlement of
the world.” Away goes Genesis. ‘ ’Now,”
savs some one, “take out all that
about the miraculous guidance of the
children of Israel in the wilderness.”
Away goes Exodus. “Now,” says
some one else in the audience, “there
are things in Deuteronomy and Kings
that are not fit to be read.” Away go
Deuteronomy and the Kings. “Now,”
says some one, “the Book of Job is a
fable that ought to come out.” Away
goes the Book of Job. “Now,” say*
some one, “those passages in the New
Testament which imply the divinity
of Jesus Christ ought to come out”
Away go the Evangelists. "Now,”
savs some one, “the Book of Revela
tion—how preposterous! it represents
a man with the moon under his feet
aud a sharp sword in his hand.” Away
goes the Book of Revelation. Now
there are a few pieces left. What
shall we do w.th them? “O.” says
some man in the audience, “I don’t
believe a word in the Bible, from one
end to the other.” Well, it is all gone
Now you have put out the last light
for the nations Now it is the pitch
darkness ol eternal midnight How
do you like it?
But I think, my friends, we had bet
ter keep the Bible a little longer in
tact It has done pretty well for a
good many years* Then there are old
people who find it a comfort to have
it on their laps, and children like the
stories in it Let us keep it for a curi
osity, anyhow. If the Bible is to be
thrown out of the school, and out of
the court room, so that men no more
swear by it, and it is to be put in a
dark corridor of the city library, the
K^ran on ODe side and the writings of
Confucius on the other, then let us
each one keep a copy for himself, for
we might have trouble, and we would
want to be under the delusions of its
consolations; and we might die, and
we would want the delusion of the
exalted residence of God’s right hand,
which it mentions O! what an awful
thing it is to laugh in God’s face, and
hurl his revelation back at him.
After awhile the day will come
when they will say they did not
laugh. Then all the hypcrcritisms,
all the caricatures, and all the
learned sneers in the “Quarterly lie
views,” will be brought to judgment:
and amid the rocking of everything
beneath, and amid the flaming of
everything above, God will thunder:
“But thou didst laugh!” I think the
most fascinating laugher at Christiani
ty I ever remember was a man in New
England. He made the word of God
seem ridiculous, and he laughed on at
our holy religion until he came to die,
and then he said: “My life has been
a failure—a failure domestically; I
have no children; a failure socially,
for I am treated in the streets like a
pirate; a failure professionally, be
cause I know but one minister that
has adopted my sentiments.” For a
quarter of a century he laughed at
Christianity; and ever since Christiani
ty has been laughing at him. Now, it
is a mean thing to go into a man’s
house and steal his goods; but I tell
you the most gigantic burglary ever
invented is the proposition to steal
these treasures of our holy religion.
The meanest laughter ever uttered is
the laugh of the sceptic.
The next laughter that I shall men
tion as being in the Bible, is the
laugh of God’s condemnation: "He
that sitteth in the heavens shall
laugh.” Again: "I will laugh at his
calamity.” With such demonstration
will God greet every kind of great sin
and wickedness. But men build up
villainies higher and higher. Good
men almost pity God, because he is so
schemed against by men. Suddenly a
pin drops out of the machinery of
wickedness, or a secret is revealed,
and the foundation begins to rock;
finally, the whole thing is demolished.
What is the matter? I will tell you
what the matter is. That crash of
ruin is only the reverberation of God’s
laughter. In the money market there
are a great many good men, and a
great many fraudulent men. A fraudu
lent man there says: “I mean to have
my million.” Jle goes to work reckless
of honesty, and he gets his first 8>100,000.
He gets after awhile his S‘-’00,000.
After awhile he gets his 8!>d0, COO.
"Now,” he says, "I have only one
more move to make, and I shall have
my million.” lie gathers up all his
resources; he makes that one last
grand move, he fails and loses all, and
he has not enough money of his own
left to pay the cost of the car to his
home. People can not understand this
spasmodic revulsion. Some said it
was a sudden turn in Erie railway
stock, or in Western Union or in Illi
nois Central; some said one thing and
some another. They • all guessed
wrong. I will tell you what it was:
"He that sitteth in the heavens
laughed.” A man in New York said
he would be the richest man in the
citv- He left his honest work as a
mechanic, and got into the city coun
cils some way, and in ten years
stole STo", 000, <J50 from the city gov
ernment Fifteen million dollars'.
He held the legislature of the
state of New York in the grip
of his right hand. Suspicions were
aroused. The grand jury presented
indictments. Th§ whple land stood
aghast. The than who expected to
put half the city in his vest pocket
goes to Blackwell’s island; goes to
Ludlow street jail, breaks prison and
goes across the sea; is rearrested and
brought back, and again remanded to
jail. Why? "He that sitteth in the
heavens laughed- ” Rome was a great
empire; she bad Horace and Virgil
among her poets; she had Augustus and
Constantine among her emperors. But
what mean the defaced Pantheon, and
the Forum turned into a cattle market,
and the broken-walled Coliseum, and
the architectural skeleton of her great
aqueducts? What was that thunder?
“Oh!” you say, “that was the roar
of the battering rams against her
walls ” No. What was that quiver?
“Oh!” you say, "that was the
tramp of hostile legions” No. The
quiver and the roar were the outburst
of omnipotent laughter from the de
fied and insulted heavens. Rcme de
fied God and he laughed her down.
I Nineveh defied God and he laughed
her down. Babylon defied God and
he laughed her down. There is a great
iitference between God's laughter and
his smile. His smile is eternal beati
tude. He smiled wlien David sang,
ind Miriam clapped the cymbals, and
Hannah made garments for her son,
md Paul preached, and John kindled
with apccalpytic vision, and when
iny man has anything to do and does it
welL His smile! Why, it is the 15th of
May, the apple orchards in full bloom;
' it is morning breaking on a rippling
1 sea; it is heaven at high noon, all the
bells beating the marriage peal. But
his laughter—may it never fall on us!
It is a condemnation for our sin; it is
i wasting away. We may let the
satirist laugh at us, and all our com
panions may laugh at us, and we may
be made the target for the merriment
]f earth and hell; but God forbid that
we should ever come to the fulfilment
jf the prophecy against the rejectors
of the truth: “I will laugh at your
calamity.” But, my friends, all of us
who reject Christ and the pardon of
;he Gospel must come under that
tremendous bombardment God Wants
js all to repent He counsels, he
coaxes, he importunes, and he dies for
is. lie conies down out of heaven,
lie puts all the world's sin on
me shoulder, he puts all the
i world's sorrow on the other
| shoulder, and then with that Alp
; an one side and that Himalaya on the
! other, he starts up the hill back of
i Jerusalem to achieve our salvation,
tie puts the palm of his right
foot on one long spike, and he
i puts the palm of his left foot on an
, other long spike, and then, with his
| hands spotted with his own blood, he
; gesticulates, saying: ‘‘Look! look!
and live. With the crimson veil of
my sacrifice I will cover up all your
sins; with my dying groan I willswal
j low up all your groans. Look! live.”
! But a thousand of you turn your back
on that and then this voice of invita
; tion turns to a tone divinely ominous,
I that sobs like a simoom through the
first chapter of Proverbs: ‘‘Because
1 have called and ye refused, I have
stretched out my right hand and no
man regarded; but ye have set at
' naught all my counsel, and would
! none of my reproof; I, also, will laugh
! at your calamity.” 0! what a laugh
] that is—a deep laugh; a long, rever
j berating laugh; an overwhelming
; laugh; God grant we may never hear it.
! But in this day of merciful visitation,
yield your heart to Christ, that you
| may spend all your life on earth under
; his smile, and escape for ever the
thunder of the laugh of God's indigna
tion.
I
I The other laughter mentioned in the
Bible, the only one I shall speak of, is
l heaven's laughter, or the expression
; of eternal triumph. Christ said to his
disciples: “Blessed are ye that weep
now, for ye shall laugh.” That makes
me know positively that we are not to
spend our days in heaven singing
long-meter psalms. The formalistic
and stiff notions of heaven that some
people have would make me miserable.
I am glad to know that the heaven of
the Bible is not only a place of holy
! worship, hut of magnificent sociality.
I “What,” say you, “will the ringing
laugh go around the circles of the
saved?” I say,yes; pure laughter, cheer
ing laughter; holy laughter. It will be
a laugh of congratulation. When .we
meet a friend who has suddenly come to
a fortune, or who has got over some
dire sickness, do we not shake hands,
do we not laugh with him? And when
we get to heaven and see our friends
there, some of them having come up
out of great tribulation, why we will
say to one of them: “The last time I
saw you. you had been suffering for
six weeks under a low intermittent
fever;” or, to another, tve will say:
j "1 ou for ten years were limping with
j the rheumatism, and you were full of
I complaints when we saw you last: I
congratulate you on this eternal re
| covery.” We shall laugh. Yes; we
I shall congratulate all those who have
| come out of great financial embarrass
ments in this world, because
they have become millionaires in
heaven. Ye shall laugh. It shall
be a laugh of re-association. It is just
as natural for us to laugh when we
meet a friend we have not seen for ten
years, as anything is possible to be
natural. When we meet our friends
from whom we have been parted ten,
or twenty, or thirty years, will it not
be with infinite congratulation? Our
perception quickened, our knowledge
improved, we will know each other at
a flash. IVe will have to talk over all
that has happened in the ten years of
his heavenly residence, and we telling
him in return all that has happened I
during the ten years of his absence
from earth. Ye shall laugh. I think
George Whitefield and John Wesley
will have a laugh of contempt for
their earthly collisions; and Toplady
and Charles Wesley will have a
laugh of contempt for their earthly
misunderstandings; and the two
i farmers, who were in a law suit all
their days, will have a laugh of con
tempt over their earthly disturbance
1 about a line fence. Exemption from
all annoyance. Immersion in all glad
ness Ye shall laugh. Christ savs so.
Ye shall laugh. Yes, it will be a
laugli of triumph. Oh! what a pleas
ant thing it will be to stand on the
wall of heaven and look down at
satan, and hurl at him defiance, and
see him caged and chained, and we
forever free from his clutches. Aha!
Yes, it will be a laugh of ro^al greet
i ing. You kuow how the Frenchmen
cheered when Napoleon came back
from Elba; you know how the English
cheered when Wellington came back
from Waterloo; you know how Ameri
cans cheered when Kossuth arrived
from Hungary; you remember how
Rome cheered when Pompey came
back victor over 900 cities. Every
cheer was a laugh. But, Oh! the
mightier greeting, the gladder greet
ing, when the snow white cavalry
; troop of heaven shall go through the
streets, and, according to the book of
Revelation, Christ, in the red coat, the
crimson coat, on a white horse, and all
the armies of heaven following on
white horses. Oh! when we see and
hear that cavalcade, we shall cheer,
we shall laugh. Does not your heart
beat quickly at the thought of the
■ jubilee upon which.we are soon to great
enter? I pray God that when vve get
through with this world and are go
ing out of it, we may have some such
vision as the dying Christian
had when he saw written ail
over the clouds in the sky the
letter “W;” and they asked him,
standing by his side, what he thought
that letter “\V” meant. “Oh!" he
said, "that stands for welcome.” And
so may it be when we quit this
world. *‘\V" on the gate, "W” on the
door of the mansion. “\V” on the
throne. We'corne! W’elcome! Wel
come!
Judgment is the fence between impulse
and action.
Take no Substitute for
Royal Baking Powder.
It is Absolutely Pure.
All others contain alum or ammonia.
Anti-Tea.
In 1743 there was quite an anti-tea
agitation in Scotland, where it was pro
nounced by the fumous Duncan Forbes
to be “ in many respects an improper
diet, expensive, wasteful of time, and
calculated to render the population
weakly and effeminate.” During that
time there was a vigorous movement all
over Scotland for abolishing the nse of
tea. Resolutions were passed by Town
Councils and the inhabitants of villages
condemning it, and advocating beer.
Sir William Fullerton’s tenants in Ayr
shire entered into the following bond:
“ We, being farmers by profession,
think it needless to restrain ourselves
formally from indulging in that foreign
and consumptive luxury called tea; for,
when we consider the slender constitu
tions of many of higher rank among
whom it is used, we conclude that it
would be but an improper diet to quali
fy us for the more robust and manly
part of our business; and therefore we
shall only give our testimony against it,
and leave the enjoyment of it altogether
to those who can afford to be weak, in
dolent, and useless.”
Far From the Mudding Crowd.
This is what many a nervous sufferer
wishes himself every day. But there will
soon he no necessity to forsake the busy—
albeit somewhat noisy — i cenes of metropol
itan life, if th • nervous invalid will begin,
and persist in the use of, Ifostette.-’s Stom
ach Bitters, which will speedily bring relief
to a weak and overstrung nervous system.
Day by day the body acquires vigor through
the influence of this reliable tonic, and in
the vitality which it diffuse-; through the
system the nerves conspicuously share.
Sleep, appetite, digestion all these are pro
moted by this popular invigorant. and if
they are, who can doubt that the acquisi
tion of health and nerve quietude will be
speedy and complete? Constipation, i»il
iotsness, malaria, nausea, sea sickness arid
cramps in the stomach yield to this remedy.
Egg-Nogg.—Take the yelks of six
teen eggs and sixteen table-spoonfuls of
pulverized loaf-sugar and beat them
to the consistency of cream. To this
add nearly a whole nutmeg grated, half
a pint of good brandy or rum, unil two
glasses of Madeira wine. Beat the
whites to a stiff froth, mix them in, and
finish by adding six pints of milk. No
heating is necessary in this formula,
and the quantity should suffice for a
party of twenty.
When Traveling,
Whether on pleasure bent or business,
take on every trip a bottle of Syrup of
Figs, as it acts most pleasantly and
effectually on the kidneys, liver and
bowels, preventing fevers, headaches
and other forms of sickness. For sale
in 50c. and SI bottles by all leading
druggists. Manufactured by the Cali
fornia Fig Syrup Co. only.
Braise.
As a general thing we are too chary in
praising and encouraging the efforts of
the young, too free in criticising and de
preciating them. Many a child's powers
in various directions are thrust back into
inactivity by the cold, unappreciative re
ception they meet with. Children quick
ly adopt the sentiments of their elders,
and soon learn to put the same value on
their own powers that others do. The
parent, the teacher, and the employer
can easily teach lessons of sf lf-deprecia
tion which may cling through life, and
forever prevent the development of pow
ers that, under more favorable auspices,
might have proved a blessmg to the
community; or. on the other hand, by
cheerful encouragement and wholesome
commendation, they may nourish many
a tiny germ of ability and talent that
may "one day come to be a mighty influ
ence—a perceptible power in the world.
Winter Wheat, 100 Bushels Per Acre
Wonderful reports come in on Salzer’s
new winter wheat and monster winter rye.
Over 2,000 farmers planted these grains
last fall and now report yields of 50 to 70
bushels wheat, and over 60 bushels rye per
acre. The way it looks 100 bushels will ha
reached. Send to John A. Salzer Seed Co.,
La Crosse, Wis., 4c postage stamps, for
samples of this wheat and rye and fall
catalogue._w
Hope deferred maketh the heart hustle
around in some other ioca'ity.
A woman despises a bad man of her own
making.
MICHICAN LANDS.
Fertile, Cheap. Healthr.
And not too far from good markets, The
Michigan Central will run special Home
Seekers’ Excursions on July 10, Aug. 14,
Sept. 18. to points north of Lansing, Sagi
naw and Bay City at one fare for the round
trip. Tickets good twenty days and to
stop over. For folder giving particulars
and describing lands, address O. W. Bug
gies, Gen. Pass, and Ticket Ag’t, Chicago.
Judgment is the fence between impulse
and action._
A woman is not so mu b concerned in
what man loves her. as how he ioves her.
| CROSS-GRAINED,
I sour, irritable, so that the
1 whole world seems wrong.
| That's tho way you feel
1 when your liver is inac
Itive. You need Doctor
Pierce’s Pleasant Peliets to
! stimulate it and correct it,
and dear up your system
■ for you. You won’t mind
1 the taking of them —
■ they're so small and so
J natural in their effects.
] All that you notice with
, them is the good that
they ao.
In the permanent cr.tre of Biliousness, Jaun
dice, Constipation, Indigestion, Sour. Stom
ache, Dizziness, Sick or Bilious Headaches,
and every liver, stomach, or bowel disorder,
they’re guaranteed to give satisfaction, or
the money is returned.
Don’t tinker at tout Catarrh with un
known medicines. It’s risky and dangerous.
You may drive it to the lungs. Get the
Remedy that has cured Catarrh for years
and years—Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy.
The makers guarantee it to care, or benefit,
in the worst cases.
Dm'« Her Own Work.
Does she ? What of it ? Is it any
disgrace? Is she any less of a true
woman, less worthy of respect, than
she who sits in silks and satins and is
vain of fingers that never labor ? Wo
listened to thus answer a few days ago,
and the tone in which it was uttered be
tokened a narrow, ignoble mind, better
fitted for any place than a country whoso
institutions rest on honorable labor as
ono of the chief comer stones. It
evinced a false idea of the true basis of
society, of true womanhood, of genuine
nobility. It showed the detestable
spirit of caste, of rank, which a certain
class are trying to establish—a caste
whose sole foundation is money, and is
the weakest kind of rank known to civ
ilization. Mind, manners, morals, all
that enters into a good character, are of
no account with these social snobs ; po
sition in their stilted ranks is bought
with gold, and eacli additional dollar is
another round in the ladder by which
elevation is gained.
Karl’s Clover Root Tea,
Tv* pr**at Flood purifier,drives fr**>h ness and clearness
lo iLc CouipiC-Xiou and cures Constipation. 25c.,5Uc.,$U
Thoughts.
When you bury an old animosity,
never mind putting up a tombstone.
Worrying will wear the richest life to
shreds.
A sweet temper is to the household
what sunshine is to trees and flowers.
Everything we meet with here below
is more or less infectious. If we live
habitually among good and pleasant
people, we inevitably will imbibe some
thing of their disposition.
Ilegrman’HranipIior Ire wit It Glycerin*.
The original arid only genuine. Cures Chapped llamla
and Face, Cold aoreh, See. C. G. Clark Co.,N.Haven,CU
Early Bis>ng.
Tlie early riser lias always an hour or
two in hand, which the late lier loses
and can never find, search as diligently
as he may. Things which begin well,
for the most part, go on well; und the
punctuality * and order, the method and
exactness, of a house where the day be
gins betimes, and the morning dot's not
inaugurate a scramble, make half the
pleasantness of domestic life.
Hall's Catarrh Curo
Is taken internally. Trice, 75c.
Oatmeal Samp.—Put a pint of oat
meal to soak in warm water a few hours
before cooking it; just water enough to
cover it; then pour this mixture into
boiling water, a little at a time, with
a good pinch of salt, and let it cook
slowly, the same as corn-meal hasty
pudding, for half au hour or longer. A
pudding can be made of it by using
eggs, milk, sugar, raisins and cinnamon,
the same as for other puddings.
“ Hanson’s Magic Corn Salve.”
Warranted to cure or nionev refunded. Ask you#
druggist for it. Price 15 cents.
The first balloon ascension in the
United States was made in Philadelphia
on Jan. 9,1793 by Mr. Blanchard. The
ascent was witnessed by a large crowd
of spectators, among whom was Gen.
Washington.
Billiard Table, second-hand. For sale
cheap. Apply to or address, H. C. Akin,
511 S. l!ith St., Omaha, Neb.
What a true gentleman is, he was in the
beginning.
^’SCREAM BALM
IPRICESOCENTs! ALL DRUGGISTsh^jjl
W. L. Douglas
ISTHEBEST.
NOSOUEAKING.
$5. CORDOVAN,
FRENCH SCENAMELLED CALF.
!*4 *3 FINE C/^&KANSAM
$3.50 POLICE, 3 SOLES.
$2.*I7s Boys'SchcolShde3,
• LADIES;
L»3'!2-Te=tS»““U.
Sfct,SEND FOR CATALOGUE
PW-L-DSUCLAS,
“ BROCKTON, MASS.
You can save money by wearing is®
\V. L. Dougins S3.00 Shoe.
Beennse, vro ars the largest manufacturer* ol
this grade of shoes ia the world, and guarantee thei*
value by stamping the name and price on tha
bottom, which protect you against high prices and
the middleman's profits. Our shoes equal custom
work in style, easy fitting and wearing qualities.
We have them sold every where at lower prices foi
the value given than any other make. Take n > sub*
stltuto. If your dealer cannot supply you, we can.
WIPE CANNOT SEE HOW TOO 09
"lit IT AND PAY FREIGHT.
CIA Bays oar 2 drawer walnat or oak Taft.
Tl i pror-d High Am Stager*** Ing tr.achlus
_ finely finished, nickel plated,adapted to Ilghl
and heavy work; guaranteed for 10 leera; with
Automatic Bobbin Winder, Self-Threading Cyfl»»
der Untile, Self-Setting Needle and a complete
jset of Steel Attaehneat*; shipped any where oa
80 Day’fc Trial. No money required ia advance,
?5;000now fn use. VCorld’a Fair Medal awarded machine and attach
ments. Buy from factory and save dealer’s and agent’* profits,
egrr Cat This Oat and seed to-dav for machine or lire® free
I ntb cata!oeue,te*tlroor.:nls and G^oiraescf the World’s Fair.
OXFORD MFG. CO. 343 7Tibi:‘ atj. OHICAEO.tLL,
WELL MACHINERY
Illustrated catalog© showing: WELL/
AUGERS, BOCK DRILLS, HYDRAULIC I
AND JETTING MACHINERY, etc.
Best Frex. Hav© been tested and
all uarranted.
Sioux City Engine k Iron Works, i
Successors to Pech Mr*. Co . £ !
Sioux C’lly. I«wa.|
1217 Union Are.. Kansas City. Mo. !
tra-rararuMh i ■Bw
Consumptive* and people H
who have week lunva or Astb- are
oul should ase Poo's Cure for HI
Oonsuuptiorv. It haa cured HJ
thauend*. It baa net injur* H
ed one. Itia » ot bad to take. H
It la tbe bestett^ith syrup. flfl
Bold eTervuherr. Sde. H
‘"e > 1
|J.. Oiunlia-'i9, 1§94.
V> .ki.n\(etui( AuvertUeuiuuu i\imily
jteutiuii i lit— t'apar.
