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About The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936 | View Entire Issue (July 20, 1894)
A College Wag. In a certain college, nnder Presbyte rian auspices, not a hundred miles from New York, it is a rule that the students shall attend church at least onoe each Sunday, either in the college chapel or some other church in town which they shall designate, and for non-attendance satisfactory reasons must be given. Of course, on Monday mornings, when these reasons are called for, much in genuity and some fun are brought out. In one of these interviews, Prof. L asked a student, “Mr. 0-, where did you attend church yesterday ?” Mr.C-replied, “ The F irst Church, sir.” The professor, looking a little sur prised, said, “Are you not aware, Mr. C-, that these was no service at the First Church yesterday ?” This was a poser, but was coolly met by, “I mean, professor, the first church I came to." A general laugh followed, and some how the young gentleman got rescued. —Harper's Magazine. Historical Snatches. Notes and bills first stamped. 1782. Use of quicksilver, discovered in re fining silver ore, 1540. Pens for writing were first made from quills in (>15. Paper money first used in America, 1740. Signals at sea first devised by James n., 1G65. Tulips first brought into England, 1578. Thread first made at Paisley, in Scot land, in 1722. Mortars for bombs first made in Eli* flnnd, 1543. Microscopes first used in 1621; the fiouble ones, 1624; solar microscopes Invented, 1740. Letters were invented by Memnon, the Egyptian, 1822 B. C. Earthen vessels were first made by the Romans,' 715 B. C.; the first made in It aly in 1710 ; the present improved kind originated in 1763. Insurance policies were first used in Florence in 1523; first society estab, lished at Hanover, 1530 ; that at Paris 1740. Why She Cried. Mother—What have you done to your little sister? Boy—Nothing’. “Then what is she crying for?” “She’s cryin’ because she can’t think of anything to cry for.”—Pear son's Weekly. INVESTIGATE the irrigated lands ol Idaho and you will find them the cheap est, the best and the most accessible to markets. EMIGRATE to Idaho and you will be happy. Its a new country, its for the poor man aud the smaller farmer aud fruit grower. IRRIGATE the lands of Idaho and you have a surety of crops and fruit in abundance. COGITATE? Of course you will, then send for our Idaho advert i s i n g matter. Address E. L. Lomax, G. P. & T. A., Omaha, Neb. .TOURIST TRAVEL fo"COLORADO RESORTS Will set In early till, year, and tiia Crer.t Rock bland Route has u.'fi'vlr ample and perfect tr- | KfilSSanta » transport the «S.Bf rt? tS*> «® ’ the lovely cool of Culer-i^o 0 HIGH ALTITUDES. The Traci is peifect, aud double over important 1 Division*. Train Equipment thfc very best, and a solid Ve*tibu!ed Train called the BIO FIVE leave* Chicago daily at 10 p. m. and arrives seeond morning at Denver or Colorado Spring* for breakfast. Any Coupon Ticket Agent can give yon rates, and further information will be cheerfully and quick'y re* •ponded to by addressing JNO. SEBASTIAN General Passenger Agent, Chicago. -.-.-- ; EDUCATIONAL, ClinDTUAWn i5,snzbt by expert effi 1-1 court | OliUn I ItnrlU repor.e-s at the Omaha Cvilc-ge . ef Shorthand and Typewriting Omaha. Neb. Send I tor catalogue, 5cl Boyd s Theate \ WnrthinatfinM|L!T IV Ul IIHIIglUII KET. J. Hewitt, Lincoln. Neb Omalw Medical SiSySSS! OMAHA BUHousIs. cf?Y DYE WORKS SS'"11: | Billiard and Pool Tables, C A I Bar Gliveware. Send for ^^ ™ w w IV catalogue. C.ute Pity p|w». Billiard Table Co. Omaha FI XT U H ES WANTED sALESMiaaSRVSKs sed California a lues. Send 1 pos tage s:amn fur full particulars. M. J. MAXIA, 1310 r arnam Street, Omaha, Neb. ■ ■ ■ a fa || Omaha, cor. 14th Hotel Dellonegsg Best 93.00 a day house In the state. Fire proof BEED A CA8ET, Proprietors. Silksini Dress Goods!! V 11It V f^tshionable Mlks.Dress Goods and line Laces in America at lowest prices ever known. Samples free. It pays to keep posted. Write to HAY1)E.\ BKOB., Oasoka. Cameras5250-2— Beyn Photo Supply Co., Exclusive Agents, 1215 Farnam St.. Omaha Everything in Photo Supplies for Professionals and Amateurs. Wall Paper 4c Roll Only S1.00 required to paper walls of room 15x15, Including border. Send lOe postage and get FREE, loo beautiful sam ples. and guide how to paper. Agents' large Sample book Sl.OO; FKEE with a 06.00 order. Write quick. HENRY LEHMANN, 16M-KM Douglas St.. - OMASA, NEB. DR. Me GREW IS THE ONLY SPECIALIST WHO TREATS ALL > PRIVATE DISEASES, I WonkBM and Been* " Disorder, of MEN ONLY. Irur nn ihiuimI li THn uperlcDO*. ^Fnauntlr lnoaUd la ■Oaiaha. Book be*. TABERNACLE PULPIT.' _ A SERMON APPROPRIATE TO THE TIMES. 'He chat Sllt'th la the noavcaft Shall Laugh"—"Then VV'aa Our Mouth Filled with Laughter"—Uleased Are the Weak; Thcj'll Laugh. Brooklyn, July 15.—Rev. Dr. Tal rnage, who is now in Australia on liis round-the-world journey, has selected as the subject for his sermon through the press to-day, "Laughter,” the text being taken from Psalm 120: 2: "Then was our mouth filled with laughter,” and Psalm 2: 4: "He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh.” Thirty-eight times does the Bible make reference to this configuration of the features and quick expulsion of breath which we call laughter. Some times it is b'Vn of the sunshine and sometimes the midnight Sometimes it stirs the sympathies of angels and sometimes the eachinnation of devils. All healthy people laugh. Whether it pleases the Lord or displeases him; that depends upon when we laugh and at what we laugh. My theme to-day is the laughter of the Bible, namely: Sarah’s laugh, or that of scepticism; David’s laugh, or that of spiritual ex ultation; the fool’s laugh, or that of sinful merriment; God’s laugh, or that of infinite condemnation; heaven’s laugh, or that of eternal triumph. Scene: An Oriental tent; the occu pants, old Abraham and Sarah, per haps wrinkled and decrepit. Their three guests are three angels—the Lord Almighty one of them. In return for the hospitality shown by the old people God promises Sarah that she shall become the ancestress of the Lord Jesus Christ. Sarah laughs in the face of God; she does not believe it She is affrighted at what she has done. She denies it She says: “I didn’t laugh.” Then God retorted with an emphasis that silenced all disputation; “But thou didst laugh.” My friends, the laugh of scepticism, in all ages, is only the echo of Sarah’s laughter. God says he will accomplish a thing; and men say it can not be done. A great multitude laugh at the miracles. They say they are contrary to the laws of nature. What is a law of nature? It is God's way of doing a thing. You ordinarily cross a river at one ferry. To-morrow you change for one day and you go across another ferry. You made the rule. Have you not the right to change it? You ordi narily come in at that door of the church. Suppose that next Sabbath you should come in at the other door? It is a habit you have. Have you not a right to change your habit? A law of nature is God's habit—his way of doing things. If he makes the law, has he not a right to change it at any time he wants to change it? Alas! for the folly of those who laugh at God when he says: “I will do a thing;” they responding: “You can't do it.” God says that the Bible is true—it is all true. Bishop Colenso laughs; Her bert Spencer laughs; Stuart Mill laughs; great German universities laugh; Harvard laughs—softlv! A great many of the learned institutions with long rows of professors seated on the fence between Christianity and infidelity, laugh softly. They say: “We didn’t laugh.” That was Sarah’s trick. God thunders from the heav ens: “But thou didst laugh.” The of J2den was only a fable TheTe neve? yras any ark builtj or if it was built, it Was t6o small to have two of every kind. The pillar of fire by night was only the northern lights. The ten plagues of Egypt only a bril liant specimen of jugglery. The sea parted, because the wind blew vio lently a great while from one direc tion. file sun and moqp did not gut themselves out of the way for .Toshua. Jacob's ladder was only hori zontal and picturesque clouds. The destroying angel smiting the first-born in Egypt was only cholera infantum become epidemic. The gullet of the whale, by positive measurement, too small to swallow a prophet The Stof v of the immaculate conception a shock to all decency. The lame, the dumb, the blind, the halt, cured hy mere human surgery. The resurrec tion of Christ’s friend, only a beauti ful tableau: Christ, and Lazarus, and Mary, and Martha acting their parts well. My friends, there is not a doc trine or statement of God’s holy word that has not been derided by the scep ticism qf the day. I take up this book of King James’s translation. I con sider it a perfect Bible; but here are sceptics who want it torn to pieces. And now, with this Bible in my hand, let me tear out all those portions which the scepticism of this day de mands shall be torn out What shall go first? “Well,” says some one in the audience, “take out all that about crea tion and about the first settlement of the world.” Away goes Genesis. ‘ ’Now,” savs some one, “take out all that about the miraculous guidance of the children of Israel in the wilderness.” Away goes Exodus. “Now,” says some one else in the audience, “there are things in Deuteronomy and Kings that are not fit to be read.” Away go Deuteronomy and the Kings. “Now,” says some one, “the Book of Job is a fable that ought to come out.” Away goes the Book of Job. “Now,” say* some one, “those passages in the New Testament which imply the divinity of Jesus Christ ought to come out” Away go the Evangelists. "Now,” savs some one, “the Book of Revela tion—how preposterous! it represents a man with the moon under his feet aud a sharp sword in his hand.” Away goes the Book of Revelation. Now there are a few pieces left. What shall we do w.th them? “O.” says some man in the audience, “I don’t believe a word in the Bible, from one end to the other.” Well, it is all gone Now you have put out the last light for the nations Now it is the pitch darkness ol eternal midnight How do you like it? But I think, my friends, we had bet ter keep the Bible a little longer in tact It has done pretty well for a good many years* Then there are old people who find it a comfort to have it on their laps, and children like the stories in it Let us keep it for a curi osity, anyhow. If the Bible is to be thrown out of the school, and out of the court room, so that men no more swear by it, and it is to be put in a dark corridor of the city library, the K^ran on ODe side and the writings of Confucius on the other, then let us each one keep a copy for himself, for we might have trouble, and we would want to be under the delusions of its consolations; and we might die, and we would want the delusion of the exalted residence of God’s right hand, which it mentions O! what an awful thing it is to laugh in God’s face, and hurl his revelation back at him. After awhile the day will come when they will say they did not laugh. Then all the hypcrcritisms, all the caricatures, and all the learned sneers in the “Quarterly lie views,” will be brought to judgment: and amid the rocking of everything beneath, and amid the flaming of everything above, God will thunder: “But thou didst laugh!” I think the most fascinating laugher at Christiani ty I ever remember was a man in New England. He made the word of God seem ridiculous, and he laughed on at our holy religion until he came to die, and then he said: “My life has been a failure—a failure domestically; I have no children; a failure socially, for I am treated in the streets like a pirate; a failure professionally, be cause I know but one minister that has adopted my sentiments.” For a quarter of a century he laughed at Christianity; and ever since Christiani ty has been laughing at him. Now, it is a mean thing to go into a man’s house and steal his goods; but I tell you the most gigantic burglary ever invented is the proposition to steal these treasures of our holy religion. The meanest laughter ever uttered is the laugh of the sceptic. The next laughter that I shall men tion as being in the Bible, is the laugh of God’s condemnation: "He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh.” Again: "I will laugh at his calamity.” With such demonstration will God greet every kind of great sin and wickedness. But men build up villainies higher and higher. Good men almost pity God, because he is so schemed against by men. Suddenly a pin drops out of the machinery of wickedness, or a secret is revealed, and the foundation begins to rock; finally, the whole thing is demolished. What is the matter? I will tell you what the matter is. That crash of ruin is only the reverberation of God’s laughter. In the money market there are a great many good men, and a great many fraudulent men. A fraudu lent man there says: “I mean to have my million.” Jle goes to work reckless of honesty, and he gets his first 8>100,000. He gets after awhile his S‘-’00,000. After awhile he gets his 8!>d0, COO. "Now,” he says, "I have only one more move to make, and I shall have my million.” lie gathers up all his resources; he makes that one last grand move, he fails and loses all, and he has not enough money of his own left to pay the cost of the car to his home. People can not understand this spasmodic revulsion. Some said it was a sudden turn in Erie railway stock, or in Western Union or in Illi nois Central; some said one thing and some another. They • all guessed wrong. I will tell you what it was: "He that sitteth in the heavens laughed.” A man in New York said he would be the richest man in the citv- He left his honest work as a mechanic, and got into the city coun cils some way, and in ten years stole STo", 000, <J50 from the city gov ernment Fifteen million dollars'. He held the legislature of the state of New York in the grip of his right hand. Suspicions were aroused. The grand jury presented indictments. Th§ whple land stood aghast. The than who expected to put half the city in his vest pocket goes to Blackwell’s island; goes to Ludlow street jail, breaks prison and goes across the sea; is rearrested and brought back, and again remanded to jail. Why? "He that sitteth in the heavens laughed- ” Rome was a great empire; she bad Horace and Virgil among her poets; she had Augustus and Constantine among her emperors. But what mean the defaced Pantheon, and the Forum turned into a cattle market, and the broken-walled Coliseum, and the architectural skeleton of her great aqueducts? What was that thunder? “Oh!” you say, “that was the roar of the battering rams against her walls ” No. What was that quiver? “Oh!” you say, "that was the tramp of hostile legions” No. The quiver and the roar were the outburst of omnipotent laughter from the de fied and insulted heavens. Rcme de fied God and he laughed her down. I Nineveh defied God and he laughed her down. Babylon defied God and he laughed her down. There is a great iitference between God's laughter and his smile. His smile is eternal beati tude. He smiled wlien David sang, ind Miriam clapped the cymbals, and Hannah made garments for her son, md Paul preached, and John kindled with apccalpytic vision, and when iny man has anything to do and does it welL His smile! Why, it is the 15th of May, the apple orchards in full bloom; ' it is morning breaking on a rippling 1 sea; it is heaven at high noon, all the bells beating the marriage peal. But his laughter—may it never fall on us! It is a condemnation for our sin; it is i wasting away. We may let the satirist laugh at us, and all our com panions may laugh at us, and we may be made the target for the merriment ]f earth and hell; but God forbid that we should ever come to the fulfilment jf the prophecy against the rejectors of the truth: “I will laugh at your calamity.” But, my friends, all of us who reject Christ and the pardon of ;he Gospel must come under that tremendous bombardment God Wants js all to repent He counsels, he coaxes, he importunes, and he dies for is. lie conies down out of heaven, lie puts all the world's sin on me shoulder, he puts all the i world's sorrow on the other | shoulder, and then with that Alp ; an one side and that Himalaya on the ! other, he starts up the hill back of i Jerusalem to achieve our salvation, tie puts the palm of his right foot on one long spike, and he i puts the palm of his left foot on an , other long spike, and then, with his | hands spotted with his own blood, he ; gesticulates, saying: ‘‘Look! look! and live. With the crimson veil of my sacrifice I will cover up all your sins; with my dying groan I willswal j low up all your groans. Look! live.” ! But a thousand of you turn your back on that and then this voice of invita ; tion turns to a tone divinely ominous, I that sobs like a simoom through the first chapter of Proverbs: ‘‘Because 1 have called and ye refused, I have stretched out my right hand and no man regarded; but ye have set at ' naught all my counsel, and would ! none of my reproof; I, also, will laugh ! at your calamity.” 0! what a laugh ] that is—a deep laugh; a long, rever j berating laugh; an overwhelming ; laugh; God grant we may never hear it. ! But in this day of merciful visitation, yield your heart to Christ, that you | may spend all your life on earth under ; his smile, and escape for ever the thunder of the laugh of God's indigna tion. I I The other laughter mentioned in the Bible, the only one I shall speak of, is l heaven's laughter, or the expression ; of eternal triumph. Christ said to his disciples: “Blessed are ye that weep now, for ye shall laugh.” That makes me know positively that we are not to spend our days in heaven singing long-meter psalms. The formalistic and stiff notions of heaven that some people have would make me miserable. I am glad to know that the heaven of the Bible is not only a place of holy ! worship, hut of magnificent sociality. I “What,” say you, “will the ringing laugh go around the circles of the saved?” I say,yes; pure laughter, cheer ing laughter; holy laughter. It will be a laugh of congratulation. When .we meet a friend who has suddenly come to a fortune, or who has got over some dire sickness, do we not shake hands, do we not laugh with him? And when we get to heaven and see our friends there, some of them having come up out of great tribulation, why we will say to one of them: “The last time I saw you. you had been suffering for six weeks under a low intermittent fever;” or, to another, tve will say: j "1 ou for ten years were limping with j the rheumatism, and you were full of I complaints when we saw you last: I congratulate you on this eternal re | covery.” We shall laugh. Yes; we I shall congratulate all those who have | come out of great financial embarrass ments in this world, because they have become millionaires in heaven. Ye shall laugh. It shall be a laugh of re-association. It is just as natural for us to laugh when we meet a friend we have not seen for ten years, as anything is possible to be natural. When we meet our friends from whom we have been parted ten, or twenty, or thirty years, will it not be with infinite congratulation? Our perception quickened, our knowledge improved, we will know each other at a flash. IVe will have to talk over all that has happened in the ten years of his heavenly residence, and we telling him in return all that has happened I during the ten years of his absence from earth. Ye shall laugh. I think George Whitefield and John Wesley will have a laugh of contempt for their earthly collisions; and Toplady and Charles Wesley will have a laugh of contempt for their earthly misunderstandings; and the two i farmers, who were in a law suit all their days, will have a laugh of con tempt over their earthly disturbance 1 about a line fence. Exemption from all annoyance. Immersion in all glad ness Ye shall laugh. Christ savs so. Ye shall laugh. Yes, it will be a laugli of triumph. Oh! what a pleas ant thing it will be to stand on the wall of heaven and look down at satan, and hurl at him defiance, and see him caged and chained, and we forever free from his clutches. Aha! Yes, it will be a laugh of ro^al greet i ing. You kuow how the Frenchmen cheered when Napoleon came back from Elba; you know how the English cheered when Wellington came back from Waterloo; you know how Ameri cans cheered when Kossuth arrived from Hungary; you remember how Rome cheered when Pompey came back victor over 900 cities. Every cheer was a laugh. But, Oh! the mightier greeting, the gladder greet ing, when the snow white cavalry ; troop of heaven shall go through the streets, and, according to the book of Revelation, Christ, in the red coat, the crimson coat, on a white horse, and all the armies of heaven following on white horses. Oh! when we see and hear that cavalcade, we shall cheer, we shall laugh. Does not your heart beat quickly at the thought of the ■ jubilee upon which.we are soon to great enter? I pray God that when vve get through with this world and are go ing out of it, we may have some such vision as the dying Christian had when he saw written ail over the clouds in the sky the letter “W;” and they asked him, standing by his side, what he thought that letter “\V” meant. “Oh!" he said, "that stands for welcome.” And so may it be when we quit this world. *‘\V" on the gate, "W” on the door of the mansion. “\V” on the throne. We'corne! W’elcome! Wel come! Judgment is the fence between impulse and action. Take no Substitute for Royal Baking Powder. It is Absolutely Pure. All others contain alum or ammonia. Anti-Tea. In 1743 there was quite an anti-tea agitation in Scotland, where it was pro nounced by the fumous Duncan Forbes to be “ in many respects an improper diet, expensive, wasteful of time, and calculated to render the population weakly and effeminate.” During that time there was a vigorous movement all over Scotland for abolishing the nse of tea. Resolutions were passed by Town Councils and the inhabitants of villages condemning it, and advocating beer. Sir William Fullerton’s tenants in Ayr shire entered into the following bond: “ We, being farmers by profession, think it needless to restrain ourselves formally from indulging in that foreign and consumptive luxury called tea; for, when we consider the slender constitu tions of many of higher rank among whom it is used, we conclude that it would be but an improper diet to quali fy us for the more robust and manly part of our business; and therefore we shall only give our testimony against it, and leave the enjoyment of it altogether to those who can afford to be weak, in dolent, and useless.” Far From the Mudding Crowd. This is what many a nervous sufferer wishes himself every day. But there will soon he no necessity to forsake the busy— albeit somewhat noisy — i cenes of metropol itan life, if th • nervous invalid will begin, and persist in the use of, Ifostette.-’s Stom ach Bitters, which will speedily bring relief to a weak and overstrung nervous system. Day by day the body acquires vigor through the influence of this reliable tonic, and in the vitality which it diffuse-; through the system the nerves conspicuously share. Sleep, appetite, digestion all these are pro moted by this popular invigorant. and if they are, who can doubt that the acquisi tion of health and nerve quietude will be speedy and complete? Constipation, i»il iotsness, malaria, nausea, sea sickness arid cramps in the stomach yield to this remedy. Egg-Nogg.—Take the yelks of six teen eggs and sixteen table-spoonfuls of pulverized loaf-sugar and beat them to the consistency of cream. To this add nearly a whole nutmeg grated, half a pint of good brandy or rum, unil two glasses of Madeira wine. Beat the whites to a stiff froth, mix them in, and finish by adding six pints of milk. No heating is necessary in this formula, and the quantity should suffice for a party of twenty. When Traveling, Whether on pleasure bent or business, take on every trip a bottle of Syrup of Figs, as it acts most pleasantly and effectually on the kidneys, liver and bowels, preventing fevers, headaches and other forms of sickness. For sale in 50c. and SI bottles by all leading druggists. Manufactured by the Cali fornia Fig Syrup Co. only. Braise. As a general thing we are too chary in praising and encouraging the efforts of the young, too free in criticising and de preciating them. Many a child's powers in various directions are thrust back into inactivity by the cold, unappreciative re ception they meet with. Children quick ly adopt the sentiments of their elders, and soon learn to put the same value on their own powers that others do. The parent, the teacher, and the employer can easily teach lessons of sf lf-deprecia tion which may cling through life, and forever prevent the development of pow ers that, under more favorable auspices, might have proved a blessmg to the community; or. on the other hand, by cheerful encouragement and wholesome commendation, they may nourish many a tiny germ of ability and talent that may "one day come to be a mighty influ ence—a perceptible power in the world. Winter Wheat, 100 Bushels Per Acre Wonderful reports come in on Salzer’s new winter wheat and monster winter rye. Over 2,000 farmers planted these grains last fall and now report yields of 50 to 70 bushels wheat, and over 60 bushels rye per acre. The way it looks 100 bushels will ha reached. Send to John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., 4c postage stamps, for samples of this wheat and rye and fall catalogue._w Hope deferred maketh the heart hustle around in some other ioca'ity. A woman despises a bad man of her own making. MICHICAN LANDS. Fertile, Cheap. Healthr. And not too far from good markets, The Michigan Central will run special Home Seekers’ Excursions on July 10, Aug. 14, Sept. 18. to points north of Lansing, Sagi naw and Bay City at one fare for the round trip. Tickets good twenty days and to stop over. For folder giving particulars and describing lands, address O. W. Bug gies, Gen. Pass, and Ticket Ag’t, Chicago. Judgment is the fence between impulse and action._ A woman is not so mu b concerned in what man loves her. as how he ioves her. | CROSS-GRAINED, I sour, irritable, so that the 1 whole world seems wrong. | That's tho way you feel 1 when your liver is inac Itive. You need Doctor Pierce’s Pleasant Peliets to ! stimulate it and correct it, and dear up your system ■ for you. You won’t mind 1 the taking of them — ■ they're so small and so J natural in their effects. ] All that you notice with , them is the good that they ao. In the permanent cr.tre of Biliousness, Jaun dice, Constipation, Indigestion, Sour. Stom ache, Dizziness, Sick or Bilious Headaches, and every liver, stomach, or bowel disorder, they’re guaranteed to give satisfaction, or the money is returned. Don’t tinker at tout Catarrh with un known medicines. It’s risky and dangerous. You may drive it to the lungs. Get the Remedy that has cured Catarrh for years and years—Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. The makers guarantee it to care, or benefit, in the worst cases. Dm'« Her Own Work. Does she ? What of it ? Is it any disgrace? Is she any less of a true woman, less worthy of respect, than she who sits in silks and satins and is vain of fingers that never labor ? Wo listened to thus answer a few days ago, and the tone in which it was uttered be tokened a narrow, ignoble mind, better fitted for any place than a country whoso institutions rest on honorable labor as ono of the chief comer stones. It evinced a false idea of the true basis of society, of true womanhood, of genuine nobility. It showed the detestable spirit of caste, of rank, which a certain class are trying to establish—a caste whose sole foundation is money, and is the weakest kind of rank known to civ ilization. Mind, manners, morals, all that enters into a good character, are of no account with these social snobs ; po sition in their stilted ranks is bought with gold, and eacli additional dollar is another round in the ladder by which elevation is gained. Karl’s Clover Root Tea, Tv* pr**at Flood purifier,drives fr**>h ness and clearness lo iLc CouipiC-Xiou and cures Constipation. 25c.,5Uc.,$U Thoughts. When you bury an old animosity, never mind putting up a tombstone. Worrying will wear the richest life to shreds. A sweet temper is to the household what sunshine is to trees and flowers. Everything we meet with here below is more or less infectious. If we live habitually among good and pleasant people, we inevitably will imbibe some thing of their disposition. Ilegrman’HranipIior Ire wit It Glycerin*. The original arid only genuine. Cures Chapped llamla and Face, Cold aoreh, See. C. G. Clark Co.,N.Haven,CU Early Bis>ng. Tlie early riser lias always an hour or two in hand, which the late lier loses and can never find, search as diligently as he may. Things which begin well, for the most part, go on well; und the punctuality * and order, the method and exactness, of a house where the day be gins betimes, and the morning dot's not inaugurate a scramble, make half the pleasantness of domestic life. Hall's Catarrh Curo Is taken internally. Trice, 75c. Oatmeal Samp.—Put a pint of oat meal to soak in warm water a few hours before cooking it; just water enough to cover it; then pour this mixture into boiling water, a little at a time, with a good pinch of salt, and let it cook slowly, the same as corn-meal hasty pudding, for half au hour or longer. A pudding can be made of it by using eggs, milk, sugar, raisins and cinnamon, the same as for other puddings. “ Hanson’s Magic Corn Salve.” Warranted to cure or nionev refunded. Ask you# druggist for it. Price 15 cents. The first balloon ascension in the United States was made in Philadelphia on Jan. 9,1793 by Mr. Blanchard. The ascent was witnessed by a large crowd of spectators, among whom was Gen. Washington. Billiard Table, second-hand. For sale cheap. Apply to or address, H. C. Akin, 511 S. l!ith St., Omaha, Neb. What a true gentleman is, he was in the beginning. ^’SCREAM BALM IPRICESOCENTs! ALL DRUGGISTsh^jjl W. L. Douglas ISTHEBEST. NOSOUEAKING. $5. CORDOVAN, FRENCH SCENAMELLED CALF. !*4 *3 FINE C/^&KANSAM $3.50 POLICE, 3 SOLES. $2.*I7s Boys'SchcolShde3, • LADIES; L»3'!2-Te=tS»““U. Sfct,SEND FOR CATALOGUE PW-L-DSUCLAS, “ BROCKTON, MASS. You can save money by wearing is® \V. L. Dougins S3.00 Shoe. Beennse, vro ars the largest manufacturer* ol this grade of shoes ia the world, and guarantee thei* value by stamping the name and price on tha bottom, which protect you against high prices and the middleman's profits. Our shoes equal custom work in style, easy fitting and wearing qualities. We have them sold every where at lower prices foi the value given than any other make. Take n > sub* stltuto. If your dealer cannot supply you, we can. WIPE CANNOT SEE HOW TOO 09 "lit IT AND PAY FREIGHT. CIA Bays oar 2 drawer walnat or oak Taft. Tl i pror-d High Am Stager*** Ing tr.achlus _ finely finished, nickel plated,adapted to Ilghl and heavy work; guaranteed for 10 leera; with Automatic Bobbin Winder, Self-Threading Cyfl»» der Untile, Self-Setting Needle and a complete jset of Steel Attaehneat*; shipped any where oa 80 Day’fc Trial. No money required ia advance, ?5;000now fn use. VCorld’a Fair Medal awarded machine and attach ments. Buy from factory and save dealer’s and agent’* profits, egrr Cat This Oat and seed to-dav for machine or lire® free I ntb cata!oeue,te*tlroor.:nls and G^oiraescf the World’s Fair. OXFORD MFG. CO. 343 7Tibi:‘ atj. OHICAEO.tLL, WELL MACHINERY Illustrated catalog© showing: WELL/ AUGERS, BOCK DRILLS, HYDRAULIC I AND JETTING MACHINERY, etc. Best Frex. Hav© been tested and all uarranted. Sioux City Engine k Iron Works, i Successors to Pech Mr*. Co . £ ! Sioux C’lly. I«wa.| 1217 Union Are.. Kansas City. Mo. ! tra-rararuMh i ■Bw Consumptive* and people H who have week lunva or Astb- are oul should ase Poo's Cure for HI Oonsuuptiorv. It haa cured HJ thauend*. It baa net injur* H ed one. Itia » ot bad to take. H It la tbe bestett^ith syrup. flfl Bold eTervuherr. Sde. H ‘"e > 1 |J.. Oiunlia-'i9, 1§94. V> .ki.n\(etui( AuvertUeuiuuu i\imily jteutiuii i lit— t'apar.