By F. M. K1MMELL.
$1.50 A YEAR IN ADVANCE.
ALL HOME PRINT.
The Bank of England has reduc
ed its rate of interest to21 per cent.
If that’s any consolation to you.
Colonel Wattekson calls Uni
ted States senators “those old chat
ter-boxes.” Chatter box? Tut, tut,
Colonel!_
An Alabama cyclone, Saturday
night, resulted in great destruction
of property, some loss of life, and
the severe injury of many.
The talk about Attorney General
Oluey’s resigning is nonsense. Ho
was put there to serve the trusts,
and they will keep him in place.
The days are now beginning to
lengthen, but we have had little or
no winter yet. Such a winter has
been a boon to millions of poor out
of work.
When New York city begins to
give Republican majorities in dis
tricts that have 10,000 extra Dem
ocrats, there would seem to be a
screw or two loose.
Thehe are some reliable indica
tions that this panic is destined to
goon to practical liquidation, which
will finally swamp half the business
men of the nation.
In the death of GeorgeW. Childs
of the Philadelphia Publie Ledger
America mourns the loss of one of
her noblest and grandest charac
ters. All bear a tribute to his
matchless worth.
The Sutton Register, an Inde
pendent newspaper, takes it as an
indication that McKeighan will be
a candidate for re-nomination, be
cause it is reported that he is pay
ing his debts.
Last Sunday was the thirteenth
anniversary of the Young Peoples’
Society of Christian Endeavor. It
now has enrolled 2,000,000 mem
bers, and is one of the best organ
izations for good work of modern
times.
Lent will be more strictly ob
served, this year, than for some
years past, if the number of people
giving up comforts and luxuries is
a fair indication. Unfortunately
the self-denials will not all be vol
untary.
A Democratic contemporary
says, “Americans eat too much.”
In these good old Democratic
times” there are a lot of Americans
who are not over-feeding. Possibly
this is one of the “reforms of the
Democratic party.
The senate has knocked out the
last vestige of the federal election
laws. Our southern friends seem
to be getting things pretty much
to their liking in the present ses
sion of congress. But there is a
different deal coming.
President Cleveland and Sen
ator seem to be enjoying them
selves after a fashion with the su
preme bench of the United States
as a foot ball. But it is scarcely
dignified or statesman-like, if it is
amusing to Grover and Dave.
Money is a necessary evil, but a
little goes a long way when you
buy your groceries at Noble’s.
We carry a complete line of the
latest revised legal blanks for sale
at this office.
A few cents will buy a nice box
of good writing paper at this office.
Crane’s writing paper for sale
at The Tribune stationery dept.
THE SECRETARY BIRD.
The Cool Haivner In Which It Kills a Snake.
Its Natural Prey.
Aa soon as the secretary bird, or
snake eater, of South Africa discovers
a aiake, it advances toward it without
hurry and without hesitation, and when
within striking distance it immediately
elevates its crest and the feathers of the
neck, and without losing any time do
livers a blow with its foot. If the snake
has avoided the blow and attempts to
strike back, the bird interposes a wing,
thus receiving the deadly fangs harm
lessly upon the long feathers and im
mediately strikes again.
The fight is then virtually over, for
if the secretary gets in a single blow
the snake’s back is broken, and the bird,
lightninglike, plants its foot firmly on
the reptile’s neck and head, pressing
them into the ground, while it delivers
the coup de grace with its beak, and
then deliberately swallows the snake
whole, beginning at the tail, and just
before the head disappears, giving it an
enthusiastic parting rap on the ground.
But there is nothing refined about the
secretary bird’s appetite, for one writer
says he found inside one three serpents
“as long as his arm,’’ 11 lizards 7
inches long, 21 tortoises about 2 inches
in diameter, “besides a large quantity
of grasshoppers and other insects, ” or
in other words, 7)£ feet of snake, <$'/.
of lizard, 3>£ of tortoise and say a yard
of miscellaneous trifles!
The secretary bird is protected by the
cape authorities for the immense public
benefit it confers in eating poisonous
snakes, and a penalty is attached by
law to its destruction. And if it were
necessary hundreds of eyewitnesses
could be called to prove its right to the
title of serpentarius. Curiously enough,
too, this bird may be trained, and is
trained, to protect poultry yards, not
only from snakes, which are too fond of
eggs, but from other birds of prey.—St.
James Budget.
English Criminals.
Doubtless, to judge from your aver
age daily journal, murders and sui
cides, crimes and catastrophes, wars
and feuds and frauds, would seem to re
main the staple of the human record.
But be it rememberpd that, for obvious
reasons.all our worst and darkest is col
lected there. One might as well judge
of public health by the painful cases
described in a medical publication as
of the vast mass of solid human happi
ness and innocent living joy by the dai
ly catalogue of these really trivial ex
ceptions to it. As for sins—the most se
rious of which are only such as are
malicious—though the population in
crease, they seem steadily to diminish.
We had 87,668 “habituals” in 1868;
now the evil roll is only 52,153.
When the populaiton of England was
19,257.000 in 1869, there were 2,589
persons undergoing penal servitude;
now, with a population of 27,830,179,
the number is only 947. In 1878 the en
tire number of prisoners in our jails
was 20,833; the entire number at the
same date last year was 12,663, though
the population had increased by 6,000,
000. Pauperism is also declining. In
'1870, 1.079,391 persons were in receipt
of relief; in 1891, with an addition of
more than 7,000,000 inhabitants, there
were only 774,905. The upshot of these
figures — without pressing them too
much—seems surely to be that the “cos
mic process” in our own little corner of
the universe is not doing so badly.—Sir
Edwin Arnold in Longman’s Magazine.
Detecting a Smuggler.
A treasury agent, speaking of the
watchfulness of Uncle Sam’s officials,
said: “’A handsomely dressed man got
off a ferryboat and seemed to be unusu
ally nervous. A moment more and he
was struggling in the hands of the offi
cers and desperately clutching at the
lapels of his coat. ‘ It’s no use, ’ the
officers remarked; ‘we know what you
have and where it is. Better give it up
and save trouble.’ Apparently crushed
by the discovery, the man quietly as
sisted in opening seams and produced
the diamonds from various portions of
his clothing. ‘Yourshoes, please!’ This
rather staggered him, but he submitted
with good grace, and one of the heels
being unscrewed another lot, though
smaller and less valuable than the first,
was found there. The diamonds were
examined and pronounced to be a splen
did article of paste, worth about 25
cents each. This did not satisfy us, and
the man was stripped to the skin. A
huge piece of sticking plaster was on
his back, which was removed, and un
der it were concealed scores of genuine
diamonds. It is not often that a ruse
isso adroitly planned and practiced.”
—New York Times.
Women Clerks In Washington.
There have been great changes in the
government departments in the last 30
years. The first woman regularly em
ployed was put oil the rolls of the navy
department 35 years ago. She was a
young widow, and the officials consid
ered it an awful problem how to dis
pose of her. Finally they bit upon a
plan. They treated her as if she was a
contagions disease and isolated her in
an attic room. She received and re
turned her copying by a messenger.
But the disease caught on, so to speak, j
and today there are 1,000 women in the '
treasury alone. There is one woman to .
every seven men.
Of Two Evils Choose, the Least.
Doctor—If you are to recover, you
must spend the next three months in
traveling.
Patient—But I can’t afford it, doctor.
Doctor—Very well, stay at home if
you must, and I will visit you daily.
Patient—Never mind, doctor, I think
I will travel after all.—From the Ger
man.
Expected Too Mach.
Woman (in third class carriage)—Oh,
what a noise! That horrid whistling is
enough to drive one mad.
Guard—I suppose yon want ns for
your sixpence to engage Patti to sing
on the engine for yon!—Avondpost.
Patrick Henry's Genius.
During this year of seeming idleness
young Henry conceived the idea of be
coming a lawyer. Digging in the soil
would not yield him a livelihood.
Drawing molasHea and measuring tape
had produced the same barren resivt.
But words never failed him. He could
move or melt any audience before whom
he might stand. Therefore he deter
mined to earn his living by his tongue.
The wonderful mental capacity of
this broken down farmer and merchant
may be understood when we learn that
after a very few weeks of reading and
study he presented himself at Williams
burg before the examiners and was ad
mitted to the bar—not, however, with
out much urging and entreaty, for the
examiners soon discovered the paucity
of his knowledge of the statutes. In
spite of his ignorance of the forms and
technicalities, young Henry pleaded his
own case so well that he received his
license, not at all because of his legal
proficiency, but solely because of his
ingenuity and the promise he gave of
future usefulness. One of the exami
ners, Mr. John Randolph, was so much
shocked by the uncouth appearance of
the man that he at first refused to ex
amine him, but shortly discovered that
the candidate was a diamond in the
rough, and after subjecting him to a
most severe series of subtle and intricate
queries he was forced to remark, ‘1 Mr.
Henry, if your industry be only half
your genius, I augur that you will do
well and become an ornament and an
honor to your profession. ’ ’ Prophetic
words!—Blue and Gray.
A Cruel Compliment.
Some 35 years ago a deceased friend
of mine—a well known sculptor
named John Jones, familiarly termed
Johnnie Jones by his many associates
—took me to dine with the Sublime So
ciety of Steaks, which then held their
weekly banquets in that which is now
the armory of the Lyceum theater.
The late Sir Charles Locock was in
the chair, wearing, by the way, Gar
rick’s Macbeth robe. Ex-Chancellor
Lord Campbell was also present, and
Lord Brougham was expected, but like
Johnson and Burke in Goldsmith’s
“Haunch of Venison,” the famous Har
ry Brougham did not come. The task
was imposed on me of returning thanks
for the visitors. I was not at the time
a practiced public speaker and was ex
tremely nervous. However, I plucked
up courage and began a speech, but I
had not got to the end of the first sen
tence before my voice was drowned in a
tumult of applause and rappings of
knives and spoons on plates. I went
on, but the more I tried to speak the
louder grew the hubbub, and at last I
sat down utterly abashed and disconcert
ed. Then one of the members of the
club rose and moved that the eloquent
speech to which the company had just
listened with so much pleasure and with
such earnest attention should be printed
at the cost and charges of the Sublime
society for private circulation only. I
had been the victim of a harmless beef
steak “sell.”.—George A. Sala in Lon
don Times.
—
Hats In the House of Commons.
The first thing that strikes the visitor
to the house of commons is that—here
also it is exceptional among the legis
latures of the world—the house of com
mons permits its members to retain
their hats during the sitting. Indeed
it is the rule to wear and the exception
not to wear the hat. Mr. Gladstone
never wears his hat—there have been
exceptions, to one of which I will allude
presently—nor did Mr. Smith, the late
respected leader in the house of com
mons on the Conservative side, nor did
Disraeli, nor does Mr. Balfour, nor Sir
Charles Russell.
A member, however, can keep his hat
on only when he is in his seat. If he
rises to speak, he of course takes off
his hat. If he rises to leave his seat
and go out of the house, he has to take
off his hat. So long as he remains
standing in any part of the house he has
to keep off his hat. There are some of
the older members who, even when
they lean over their seats to converse
with a member on the bench in front of
them, take off their hats. And it is usual,
too, when a member interjects an ob
servation across the floor to take it
off. It was the invariable custom when
a member was referred to that he
should raise his hat, but this rule is
falling into desuetude.—Harper’s Mag
azine.
Wanted Them All Alike.
“I was once in a big store in Salt
Lake City, ” remarked a woman who
has crossed the continent not less than
12 times, “when a man came in a.:d
asked the proprietor for seven sealskin
sacks. ‘What style of sack?’inquired
the proprietor very properly.
“ ‘I don't care what style,’ retorted
the purchaser, with some savageness,
‘just so as they’re all exactly alike.
There mustn’t be one inch more seal
skin on one than another and mustn't
be a hair’s breadth difference in their
length, width or quality, or my seven
wives will make it hot for me at home.
Understand, I don’t care about the fit
or anything else. You send up seven
sealskin sacks that are exactly alike—
that’s the main point. ’ From which, ’ ’
concluded the woman, “it would seem
that polygamy was not altogether the
bed of roses that the Mormons would
have us believe. ”—New York Recorder.
Sugar Cane.
The sugar cane was introduced into
the Madeira islands in 1425, and in
1498 the annual product exceeded 4,
000,000 pounds. The introduction of
sugar cane into the West Indies, how
ever, destroyed the industry, and grape
culture took the place of the sugar cane
until 1852, when the phylloxera near
ly swept all the vines out of existence.
The sugar cane is again being cultivat
ed, and last year 500,000 pounds were
made. The supply will always be lim
ited, because the cane cannot bo profit
ably cultivated at a higher elevation
than 1,000 feet.—Exchange.
Established 1886. Strictly One Price.
.. X / ...
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^ I
^ fP
We Continue this Our Fifteenth
SEMI-ANNUAL CLEARING SALE
.OF.
WiNTER COOPS.
Liberal Discounts in Prices to Make Them Move Rapidly.
JONAS ENGEL,
g=l-_.Manager.
The Arlington House.
Hates $1.00 Per Day.
Refurnished and Refitted.
J2r’Firsl-class Accommodations.
J. S. CULBERTSON,
Proprietor.
A. J. BITTENHOUSE. C. H. BOYLE.
KITTENHOUSE & HOYLE,
ATTORNEYS - AT LAW
McCOOK, NEB.
J. E. KELLEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
AGENT LINCOLN LAND CO.
MCCOOK, - - NEBRASKA.
Office: In rear of First National Bank.
R. A. COLE,
-LEADING
MERCHANT - TAILOR
OF McCOOK,
Has just received liis fall and win
ter stock of Cloths aud Trimmings
which will be made up as reason
able as possible. Shop first door
west of Barnett Lumber Co.’s of
fice, on Dennison ftreet.
J. A. GUNN,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
McCOOK.NEBRASKA.
^"Office—Fiont rooms over Lowman &
Sou’s store. Residence 402, McFarland st.,
two blocks north of McEotee hotel. Prompt
attention to all calls.
CATARRH TWENTY YEARS.
Three Hundred Dollars Spent in
Vain.
This is what Dr. Hartman's free
course of treatment did for me: I
was sick for eighteen or twenty years
and did not know what was the matter
with me. I expectorated a gray,
sticky mucous from the throat. Ev
ery time I took cold my throat got
sore, and 1 would have fever. 1 had
catarrh in my head, and it commenced
to affect my eyes. My nose was stop
ped up, and every morning I had
coughing spells. I consulted several
physicians, one of whom said lie could
cure me in six months. I kept on
doctoring until I spent $300, and was
uot any better, but kept gradually
irrowing worse until I was confined to
the bed. I got some Pe-ru-na and
it cured the catarrh in my head and
my eyes are better. I don’t have any
more dizzy spells, my head feels clear,
I can breathe through my nose, and
my throat is cured. My voice is clear.
My appetite is good and 1 sleep well.
When I began taking Pe-ru-na I
weighed 121 pounds, but now I weigh
135. I wish f could tell everyone
about Pe-ru-na, so that thousands more
would be cured.
Oxto F. Losensky.
44 West St., Newark, New Jersey.
FREE MEDICAL BOOKS
On catarrh, la grippe, coughs, colds,
and consumption will be sent, prepaid,
for a short time to any address by the
Pe-ru na Drug Manufacturing Com
pany of Columbus, Ohio.
WafT Paper ...
Remnants
VERY CHEAP.
We can sell you a very Good Paper for
what you will pay for a Cheap One.
L. W. McConnell & Co.
TARIFF OR NO TARIFF!
We offer Goods in all- departments at
Lower Prices than any other house in the
Republican Valley. Below we give a list of
a few of the many bargains we are offering:
12 papers of pins for..$ .10
Best 100-yard spool silk for...Of
Any and all kinds of dress stays, per set. .10
Best gingliams, twelve yards for. 1.00
Best apron check gingham, sixteen yards for. 1.00
Common apron check gingham, twenty-five yards for 1.00
The very best calicos, twenty yards for. 1.00
Shirting, Ticking, all lines of Dress Goods, Notions, etc.,
at lower prices than they have ever before been sold for
anywhere. Visit our store and get our prices on our entire
line of Canned Goods, a choicer line of which are not to be
found in this country east of California. Call on us at once.
Our Grocery Stock
Is complete in every department at unlieard-of prices.
Se us before purchasing. It will pay you to come and see
our line of Ladies’, Misses’, Children's and Gents’ Shoes, even
if you have to come one hundred miles just for that purpose.
Jag?“Proropt attention to mail orders.