SHAKING OFF TRAMPS ,
An Original Method of Procedure In th
South. *
The conductors on southern rail
roads arc greatly annoyed with tramps ,
most of whom arc negroes of the in
dolent type of that race. One night
on a train on what is known as Sunset
route was a typical southern con
ductor , who had been a brigadier in
the confederateservice. . Ills train
had been stopping frequently between
stations. A northern traveler who
was becoming nervous , asked the gen
eral what was the occasion. This was
hia answer :
"Niggah tramps infest the trains
down here very badly. They don't
wait for the train to stop. They arc
used to jumpin' on trains when the
trains are running at high speed.
They throw themselves with wonder
ful dexterity on the rear platform , and
quicker than I can tell you they swing
themselves under the car and get a
lodgment on the axles of the car. The
only way to get them off is to stop the
train and hunt them out. Sometimes
we have to shake them off , same as
yoii have to shake a coon from a tree.
If we catch them before they swinj ?
themselves under the car , though , wo
don't stop the train then. "
"Whatdo3'ou do with them then ? "
"Just drop them , sah , while the train
is in motion. Sometimes I wait till
we get on a down grade and then we
let them go. "
"Do 3rou not sometimes kill one by
that sort of thing ? "
"I never stop a train to see , but as
wo are never summoned before any
coroner's jury , I 'low we don't.
Mighty hard to kill a niggah unless
you hit him with the front edge of a
locomotive. "
S25.OOO FOR A CHERRY Sj'ONE.
It Had the Jloadi of 134 Potentates
Carved Upon It.
In a museum of curiosities at Salem ,
Mass. . there is preserved a common
cherry seed or stone , hollowed and
fashioned like a basket. Within the
basket are twelve tiny silver spoons ,
the shape ansl finish of which cannot
be distinguished with the naked eye.
The name of tha artist who con
structed this little wonder has been
lost , but the > actira ! existence of the
thing ito3lf will not ba questioned by
any one from the Old Wifch headquar
ters of the Bay state.
Dr. Peter Oliver , who lived in Eng
land during the early part of the
eighteenth centurj' , tails of seeing a
carved cherry stone which would be a
wonder even in this ag-e of fina tools
and fine workmanship. The stone was
one from a common cherry , and upon
it were cawed the heads of 124 popes ,
kings , queens , emperors , saints , etc.
Small as they must necessarily have
been , it is announced on the authority
of Professor Oliver that with a good
glass the heads of the pop s and kings
could readily be distinguished from
those of the queens and saints by their
mitres and crowns. The gentleman
who brought this little wonder to
England purchased it in Prussia , al
lowing ths original owner 5,030 for
his treasure. Think of it , 825,000 for
a cherry seed !
THE RUDE STRANGER.
The Story of a Blind Man Who Alarrled
an Energetic Woman.
A gentleman witnessed a curious
episode on the Wabash some time ago.
At Decatur two ladies , evidently
mother and daughtercame aboard and
sat down facing a distinguished-look
ing , faultlessly attired stranger , who
proceeded to stare fixedly at the young
lady until forbearance ceased to be a
virtue. The hot blood mounted to her
cheeks , and she plainly showed her
aversion to the stranger's attentions.
Finally the elder lady spoke to him
sharply , calling him impertinent , but
he continued staring as before. The
young lady sprang to her feet and
struck him sharply on the cheek with
her fan , remarking that she would
"give him a lesson in good manners
that he would remember. " The
stranger half rose , removed his hat
and said with the utmost politeness :
"Ladies , I ana truly sorry I "have of
fended ; but I I am blind. " Then it
was the young lady's turn to apologize.
The gentleman met the trio at Indian
apolis lately and the stranger was
still staring at the young lady , but
with more satisfaction. He had re
covered his sight and married her.
His Kcluctanco Explained.
A well known artist , who hitherto
has been a great enthusiast for the
propagation of "art among , the masses , "
tells the following storj' , which leads
him to take a rather gloomy view of
the situation. For the purpose of a
picture on which he was engaged he
; > required a well-kept donkey as a model ,
and commissioned a friend to hire such
an animal. A costermonger was found
* - possessed of one in every way suitable ,
and was told that an artist would be
glad to paint the "moke. " The owner
looked annoyed , even angry , at the
request. Later he called at the gentle
man's house , and said : "I understand
you want to paint my donkey ? " "Yes , "
replied the artist , "I shall be very
pleased if you will allow me. " "Why , "
continued the coster , "an't he a good
enough color already ? " From a pain
ter's point of view the question was
unanswerable , and set the artist pondering
dering on the great work that still
remains to be done in the art education
of the people.
Why He Did.
"Pshaw ! " said the man ; "that old
fellow who sold you those potatoes
hasn't an honest hair in his head. "
"But , my dear ' , " protested the woman
who wasliis 'wife , "why do you say
'that when you have .known him so
' long' , nd , dealt with him always ? "
"It's tecause-i-know him so well that
say itJ * - persisted the man. He
Swears a wifr. ' * '
i
FO1 THE THIRD TIME ,
You Want u Thin ; ; W U Done You
Mubt Do It Yom-sulf.
An old Vermont farmer tells a rather
pretty htory of a missionary who ,
before setting 'sail for the land
of the convertible heathen took
unto himself a wife. In less than two
years his helpmeet died , and the mis
sionary board granted him a vacation ,
which he improved by returning home
and marrying again. In less than a
year wife No. 2 had succumbed to the
rigors of the pagan climate , but the
board refused to grant him a second
vacation within so short a time. He
accordingly deputized a friend to se
lect a bride for him , and in due time
received the welcome information that
the future sharer of his joys and sorrows
rows was on the sea hastening to him
as fast as wind and steam could carry
her. At last the ship was signaled ,
and the bridegrom-elest want do\vn to
meet it , accompanied by a married
friend. On the return of the latter to
his house he was pounced xipon by his
wife , who demanded all the particulars
of the meeting. "Did Dr. Smith seem
overcome when he saw Miss ISrown ? "
was the first question. "Well yes
a little.Wasn't he overjoyed ? ' '
"Well , overjoyed is not just fie word
perhaps. " "Why , didn't he say lie
was delighted ? " "Well no not ex
actly. " "Jiut at least he seemed
pleased ? " "Well I don't quite know. "
"For mercy's sake sake , tell me just
what he did say and do. " "Well"
with evident reluctance "when he
saw her she was at the other end of
the deck , and she was pointed out to
him by the friend she had traveled
with. Smith looked at her for a min
ute , and then he passed his hand over
his eyes and I heard him murmur :
'lied hair for the third time and
after so much prayer ! "
A DISOBLIGING CHAPERONE.
The Dlro Straits In Which 1'oor Cholly
Found Himself.
There are two young people well
known in St. Louis , who feel mutually
indignant at the treatment accorded
them by the young lady's chaperon a
few days ago. The young man went
on the evening in question to call on
the young lady. For awhile the
chaperon did not bother them , but
about 9 o'clo-k when tha o airs of the
young people had meandered from
points on opposite sides of the room tea
a point about equally distant from
each near the center of the room , the
greater distance having been travei'sed
by the young man in a ratio of 4 to 1 ,
the chaperon came in. The chairs re
treated , but the chaperon remained in
the room. She said she was looking
for her Bible. The young people sent
longing glances across the room , but
the chaperon kept looking for her
Bible. At last she found it and went
out , and the young people were happy
for one minute. Then the chaperon
came back. Dagger glances met her ,
but with an angelic smile she placed
an arm-chair in front of the door and
soon fell asleep. Slip snored hard , and
the young people were happy for a
time. But when 12 o'clock came the
young man wanted to go home , but
could not get out without waking the
chaperon. This he was afraid to do.
Matters became desperate. While the
young lady held open the window he
vaulted to the street , without hat or
overcoat. The girl not being able to
get into the corridor to get them for
him , he went home without them , and
sent a messenger after them the next
morning.
THE PACIFIC FISHERIES.
Alaska is Fast Becoming the Great Sal
mon llcgion of the Future.
As to the importance of the Pacific
fisheries , taking 1889 as the last year
of which reliable statistics of the sal
mon canning industry were obtain
able , the vast total of 1,287,080 cases
of salmon is presented as the yield of
Alaska , Washington , Oregon and Cali
fornia. This was worth at first cost
87,000,000. Taking the whole canned
product during the fourteen years
prior to 1889 , the Pacific salmon were
equivalent in weight to 1,000,000 head
of cattle , and "exceed the latter in
economic importance and food value. "
Every year there are more canned
salmon coming from Alaska. In 1883
there were 36,000 cases ; in 1889 , 675,000
cases. But how long this enormous
supply will last is not known. The
yield in Oregon was at one time ap
parently diminishing. Captain Collins
writes : "It would seem that in any
event Alaska is to be the great sal
mon region of the future. " British
Columbia shows the same increase in
salmon products. In 1876 she made
10,000 cases of salmon ; in 1889 , 414,400
cases. British Columbia sells one-half
of her products in Europe and about
one-fifth in the Eastern states.
Not Worth. Keeping.
"There are a great many quaint
characters in the mountainous regions
of Kentucky , " said Congressman Wil
son , lately. "I'll tell you a little story
by way of illustration : Shortly after I
was admitted to the bar , and was rid
ing the circuit , I was appointed by the
court to defend a middle-aged fellow
who was indicted for the murder of
his mother. I took my client aside f era
a private consultation , and plumped
the direct question at hin > : 'Didou
kill your mother ? ' 'Yes , ' he replied ;
'I did kill her. ' 'Why did you do it ? '
I asked him. 'I killed her , ' he an
swered , 'because she wasn't worth
wintering. ' "
One of Those Simple Things.
This is one of those simple things
which lew people know of : If you are
in a Pullman car get apillow.from the
porter , put it on your lap and nlace
your writing material on it. , The elasticity - ,
ticity of the pillow will insuresmooth
ness. Where a pillow cannot be ob-
. ' , f . - * ' ' A.
tained use jour ooat
CHEEPING MALARIA.
Insidious ami Stealthy in Its Ap
proach. Deadly and Unyielding
in Its Grasp. .Extracts from
a Lecture at the Surgical
Hotel , Columbus , Ohio , by
Dr. S. SHartman. .
UEPOIIT FOR THE PUKSS.
The onset of malaria is often so ver >
itif-idious that it is quite difficult to de
tect the nature of it until after it has
fastened itself thoroughly in the sys
tem. Malaria often will pester a per
son for months without making him
sick abed , but makU'i : him ginuijoi )
miserable eiceping rigors , coatee
tongue , appetite changeable , and man )
indcsciibable sensations of genuine ! }
disagreeable kirn's dulls and hot
flushes nf very irregular duration anc
recurrence come and go without seeming
cause. The hands and feet are usually
cold and clammy , and the general ten
dency is to dryness and eoldncs. * of the
skin of the whole body.
Among the symptom * to whidi this
class of patient. are liable , but not al
ways present , may b mentioned neu
ralgic headache , nervous chills , hy.-- *
tena , sinking or faint spells , distressing
palpitation of the heart , defective eye
sight , total inability to read , write , or
do any business ; urine abundant , with
out color , and loss of flesh. Melan
choly feelings , a discouraged , listless
state of mind , mental depression and
confusion of the mind , surely indicate
the presence of malaria. This form is
called malarial biliousness. For this
"walking malaria , " which neither puts
one to bed nor allow ? him to work or
study , Pc-ru na should be taken as di
rected on the bottle. A course of Pe-
ru-na will entirely cleanse the system of
every particle of the malarial poison.
Therefore , if you have any kind of bad
feeling which you attribute to malaria ,
by all means follow this treatment. It
at once restores the appetite , clears the
befojrged senses , and brings back the
hopeful state of mind which malaria is
sure to destroy. A thorough use of it
will convince you of its wonderful
in all such . Pe-ru-na
power cases. - - can
be relied upon to cure the cases and
restore to perfect health as speedily as
the chronic nature of the difficulty will
allow. Should constipation exist at
the same time Man-a-lin should be
added. The Pe-ru-na tones up the
nervous system and enriches the blood ,
giving strength vitality , while Man-a
hn restores theactivity of the excretory
glands , enabling the system to rid it
self of accumulated poison , bringing
back to this most unfortunate class of
invalids the flush and good feeling of
perfect health. Directions for use ac-
couipanj' each bottle.
For a complete treatise of malaria ,
chills and fever and fever and ague ,
send for The 1'amily Physician No. 1.
Sent free by The Pe-ru-na Drug Manu
facturing Co. , Columbus , Ohio.
An Epidemic of Bloody Flux.
Last summer the flux raged here to a fear
ful extent. About five miles north of here , at
the Whiteside grave yard , there were five vic
tims of this dreadful disease buried in one day.
The doctors could do nothing with the disease
When my family were taken , I went to Wal
ters Brothers , of Waltersburg , and told them
the situation. They said , give 'them Cham
berlain's Cholic , Cholera and Diarrhsea Rem
edy ; that they had sent out several hundred
bottles into the infected district and "every
day we hear how this medicine is curing them.
So far we have not heard of its failing in a
single instance. " I went to giving it and
could soon see the good effects and a cure was
the result. Any one in doubt about these
facts may write to me. L. C. ELLIS , Rock
Pope county , Illinois. For sale by Geo. M.
Chenery.
0. K. T. Honest Results. 0. K. T.
Many of the pioneers of Oregon and Wash
ington have cheerfully testified to the wonder
ful curative properties of the celebrated
Oregon Kidney Tea. Purely vegetable and
pleasant to the taste and can be taken by the
youngest child or most delicate woman. O.
K. T. is a never failing remedy for pains in
the back and loins , non-retention of urine ,
scalding or burning sensations while urinat
ing , mucous discharges and troubles of all
kidney troubles of either sex. $1.00 at all
druggists.
Good Looks.
Good looks are more than skin deep , de
pending upon a healthy condition of the vital
organs. If the Liver be inactive , you have a
Bilious Look , if your stomach is disordered
you have a Dyspeptic Look and if your Kid
neys be affected you have a Pinched Look.
Secure good health and you \\ill have good
looks. Electric Bitters is the great alternative
and Tonic acts directly on these vital organs.
Cures Pimples , Blotches , Boils and gives a
complexion. Sold at McMillen's drugstore ,
50 cents per bottle.
LUCKY HUHBERS.
Humphreys' Specific No. Three cures aleep-
JessnesB , CDlio and crying of infants ; curipg
not only fonraltefulneeBcolja and crying
but by aial' th igeBijOD.'i'IVJng ' strength
and vlgor.'nrid en mnklnarhealthy children.
What is
Castoria is Dr. Samuel Pitcher's prescription for Infants
and Children. It contains neither Opium , Morphine nor
other Narcotic substance. It is a harmless substitute-
for Paregoric , Drops , Soothing Syrups , and Castor Oil.
It is Pleasant. Its guarantee is thirty years' use by
Millions of Mothers. Castoria destroys Worms and allays
feverishness. Castoria prevents vomiting Sour Curd ,
cures Diarrhoea and "Wind Colic. Castoria relieves
teething troubles , cures constipation and flatulency *
Castoria assimilates the food , regulates the stomach
and bowels , giving healthy and natural sleep. Cas
toria is the Children's Panacea the Mother's Friend.
Castoria.
" Oastorfo Is on excellent medicine for chil
dren. Mothers have repeatedly told mo of its
good effect upon their children. "
Do. G. 0. OMOOD ,
Lowell , Mass ,
" Castoria is the best remedy for children of
which I am acquainted. I hope the day is not
far distant when mothers trill consider the real
Interest of their children , and use Castoria in-
itcod of the variousquacknostrums'Vf hich are
destroying their loved ones , by forcing opium ,
morphine , soothing syrup and other hurtful
Kgsuts down their throats , thereby sending
them to premature graves. "
Da. J. F. SnrcBzxox ,
Conway , Ark.
Castoria.
M Castoria is so well adapted to children that
I recommend it as superior to any preecripHoa
knows to me. "
n. A. Ancratt , M. D. ,
Ill So. Oxford St , Brooklyn , N. Y.
" Our physicians in the children's depart *
ment have spoken highly oC their experi
ence in their outside practice with Castoria ,
and although we only haTO among our
medical supplies what is known as regular
product * , yet we are free to confess that tha
merits of Castoria has won us to look with
favor upon it. "
UNITED HOSPITAL JUID DISPENSARY ,
Boston , Mai * .
ALLEY O. SMITH , Pre * . ,
The Centaur Company , TT Murray Street , New York City.
THE MILD POWER CURES.
HUMPHREYS'
Ir.IIiimphreyVSii 'clflc arc Rclontincnllr and
carefully urepnroil Keniwlloi , lined for yconi In
private practice nnd for over thirty jeni * by the
jwople with entire siimiw. ivir > hliiglu Spcclflo
a sin-clal cure for lint illsf.ihu limned.
Tuey euro w Itljout ilruKsliiK. purging or reducing
1 Fever * , Congestions , Inflammations.
3Vorni , Worm Keu r , Worm Colic. . . .23
3-Teethltis ; Colic. Crjlns. Wakcfulncsa .25
4 Diarrhea , of Children or Adults 25
5 Jy cutery Griping , Llllous Colic 25
G-ChoieruJtlorbtiH , Vomiting 25
7 Couchs , Cold * . L'ronchltU 25
8 Nciiralirla , Toothache. Fnccaclio. . . . .25
0 Headaches , Sick Headache , Vertigo. .25
10 Dyspepsia , lllllousncsii. Constipation .25
11 SupprcHMod or 1'iitnful Periods. .25
12 Whites , Too ITofuso Period * 25
l.'I Croup , Laryngitis , Ilonrscnewi 25
14-Hnlt Hbcuni , Krj lpclas. Eruptlona. .25
15 ItheuinatUin.or lUicunmtlcl'alna. . .25
1O Malaria , Chills. Fever and Ague 25
17-lMlc , Blind orlMeedlni ? 25
18-Ophthaluiy , Sore or Weak Eye 25
l ! > -Cuturrh , Influenza. Cold In the Henil .25
\Vliooplnz CouKh .25
til Ant hum , Oppressed Hreathlntr 25
22 Ear DiMchargcti , Impaired Hearing .25
23 Scrofula , Enlarged Gland * , Swelling .25
2'1-fJencrnl Debility , Physical Weakness .25
25 Dropsy , and Scanty Secretions 25
20 Scn.Sicknen9 , Sickness from Hiding .25
27 Kidney Disease * 25
29 Sore Mouth.or Canker 25
30-Urinury Weakness , WettingDed. . .25
31-PalnfuI 1'erlods 25
: M Diphtheria , Ulcerated Sore Throat. . .25
35 Chronic Congestion * & Eruptions. .25
EXTRA NUMBERS :
28 Nervouw Debility , Seminal Weak
ness , or Involuntary Discharges 1.00
32 Dl eanesoftheIIcartl'alpltatlonl.OO
: J3 Epilepsy , SpasmsSt. VltU3'Danco..l.OO
SoM bjr UrilcglitJ , or tent po t-p M on rcnlpt nf prior.
llLJirllltKYS' BED.CO. , 111 A 113 nillhni 81. , Xrw York.
SPECIFICS.
HUMPHREYS'
WITCH HAZEL OIL
1THE PILE OINTMENT. "
For Piles "External or Internal , Illlnd or Bleed Ing :
Fistula In Auo ; Itching or Hleedlng of the Kectuui.
The relief LJ Immediate the curu certain.
PRICE , 50 OTS. TRIAL SIZE. 25 CTS.
Sold by Druggist ] , or teal jiojtnlcl on receipt of prlca.
11 Camillas' BED. 10. , 111A 113 IHUiam St. , SEW YOBE
E W. BURGESS
JDEAIJBR IN
ALL FRST
FAEM WAGONS , ROAD CAETS AND BUGGIES.
AGENTS FOR
McCormick , Harvester and Binder , Grand Detour
Co. Little Yankee Plows , Deere Wells & Co.
Plows and Listers , Keystone Manfg Co. Disc Har
rows , G. W. Brown Planters and CultivatorsMinn.
Chief Separator & Powers , also Randolph Headers
A SaUARE DEAL. THE BEST AEE THE CHEAPEST.
JbJLJL * j rCTID @ 3E3 IMCES.
rd- : of First National Bank , - McCOOK , NEB ,
Hie Citizens Bank of McOeit
Incorporated under State Laws.
Paid Up Capital , $50,000
DOES A-
General Banking Business ,
Collections made on all accessible points. Drafts drawn
directly on principal cities in Europe. Taxes
paid for non-residents.
Tickets For Sale to and from Europe
OFFICERS :
V. FKANKLIN , President. JOHN K. CLAKK , Vice Pres.
A. 0. EBERT , Cashier.
CORRESPONDENTS :
The First National Bank , Lincoln Nebrska.
The Chemical National Bank , New York City.
First National
AUTHORIZED CAPITAL , CAPITAL AND SURPLUS ,
$100.000. $60,000.
OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS.
GEORGE HOCKNELL , President. B. M. FREES , Vice President. W. F. LAWSON , Cashier.
A. CAMPBELL. FRANK HARRIS.
THE McCOOK ROLLER MILLS ,
E. H. DOAN. PROPRIETOR ,
Is Now Open and Ready for Business ,
P"I am prepared to handle all business in my
line promptly and with the most approved machinery.
DOAN & HART
are also prepared to handle wheat for which they are
paying the highest market price.
KSTMilla and.Elavator on East Railroad street