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JOHNNIE'S WISH.
"When I'm yanked out of bed at six ,
Just when I want to sleep ,
An' mndu to dress myse.f an' fix
The ilres and tend the sheep ;
An' pet the wood in from the shed ,
An' milk the cows , an' clean
OP "Dexter's" stall and air his bed ,
An' fill the old tureen.
With scraps an' swill an' tote it down
To them 'ero nasty swine ,
An' do a lot o' chores in town
1 n' hung the clothes on line :
When sich things happen , I ba bound
It makes me yell ivn' bawl.
An' wish Columbus hadn't found
America at all I
COMETH SOON Oil LATE ,
It was Iho habit of the Living Skel
eton to louvo his hotel promptly every
morning at 10 o'clock , if the sun was
shining , and to shu ile rather than to
walk down the gravel streal to the
avenue of palms. There , picking out
a seat on which the sun shone , the
Living Skeleton would sit down and
seemed to wait patiently for some one
who never came. He didn't seem to
have energy enough even to read , and
so it was tliat itobbins sat down one
day on the bench beside him and said
sympathetically , ! hope you arc feel
ing better to-day. "
The Skeleton turned toward him
and laughed a low. noiseless and
mirthless laugh for a moment , and
then said , in a hollow , far-away voice
that htxu no lung- . ? behind it : "I am
through with feeling either better or
worse. "
worse.OIi.
-OIi. I hope it is not as bad as that , "
said Jobbing ; "the climate is doing
you g..oii down here , is it not ? "
" 1 ha-o no more interest in cli
mate , " siul the Skeleton. "I merely
seem to live because J have been in
the habit of living for some yearsI
presiur.o iliat is it. because my Jungs
are cniiriily gone. Why-1 can talk or
why 1 ca.--j breathe is a mystery to me.
You aru p'jnectly certain you can
hear mel"5
Oh. 1 hear you quite distinctly , "
said Ilobbins.
To tell the truth , I am dead ,
practicaliy. You know the old Amer
ican si cry about a man who walked
around to save funeral expenses ; well ,
it isn't quite that way with me , but I
can appreciate how the man felt Still ,
I take a keen interest in life , although
you might not think so. You see , I
haven't much time left ; I am going to
die at y o'clock on April80 8 o'clock
at night , not in the morning , just
after table d" hote is done with. "
"You are going to what ? " cried
Robbins. in astonishment.
Tm going to die that day. You
see , I have got things to such a point
that I can die any time I want to. I
could die right here now if [ wished.
If you have any mortal intarest in the
matter I'll do it. and show you that
what I say is true. I don't mind
much , you know , although I have
fixed on April 80 as the limit. It
wouldn't matter a bit for nss to go off
now if it would be of any interest to
you. "
"I beg you , " said Bobbins , very
much alarmed , -not to try any experiments -
periments on my account. I am
quite willing to believe anything you
say about the matter of course you
ought to know. "
Yea 1 do know. " answered the
Living Skeleton , sadly. "Of course , I
have had my struggle with hope and
fear , but that is all past now. as you
may well understand. The reason
that 1 have lixed the date for 30th of
April is this : You see I have only a
certain amount of money I do not
know why I should make any secret
of it I have exactly 240 francs to
day , over snd above the 100 franca
which 1 have set aside for another
purpose. I am paying 8 francs a day
at the Golden Dragon ; that you see
will keep mo just thirty days , and
then I intend to die. "
The Skeleton laughed again , with
out sound , and Robbins moved un-
ea ° ily on the seat.
I don't see , " he said finally ,
"what there is to laugh about in that
condition of affairs. "
Don't you ? " said the Skeleton.
Well , I don't suppose there is very
much ; but there is something else that
I consider very laughable , and that I
will tell you if you will keep it a
secret "You see , the- old Golden
Dragon himself I always call our
inn-keeper the Golden Dragon , just
as you call me the Living Skeleton. "
Oh , I beg your pardon , " said Robbins -
bins , stammering. "I "
"Oh , it doesn't matter afc alL You
are perfectly right and I think it a
very apt term. Well , the Golden
Dragon makes a great deal of his
money by robbing the dead. You
iidn't know that ; did you ? You
thought it was the living who
supported him , and goodness knows
he robs them when he has a chance.
When a man dies in the Golden
Dragon he , or his friends , rather ,
have to pay very sweetly for it. The
Dragon charges them for refurnishing
the room , livery stick of furniture is
charged for , all the wall paper and
so on. I suppose it is right to charge
something , but the Dragon is not
content with what is right He know.-
he has lost a customer , and so he
makes ail he can out of him. ' 1 he
furniture so paid for is not repla = cd
and the walls are not papered aga n
but the Dragon doesn't abate a puni _ .
Df his bill on that account
"Now. 1 have , inquired of the fur
nishing man on the street back of th- '
hotel , and ho has written on his car
just the cost of matresses , sheets : u
lows and all that sort of thing. ; ; i
Ihe amount comes up to atout
[ rancs. I have put in an envelop-
30-franc note , and with it the car >
the furniture man. 1 have wr.t
ilso in the letter , telling the old 1 r
in just what the things will cost th
ie needs , and have referred him t
; he card of the furniture man who .
jiven me the figures. This envu1
[ have addressed to the Draeon
lie will find it when I am dead ,
is the joke that'old man Dei"-
my ? ell have put up on the Dragon ,
and my only regret is that I shall not
be able to en oy a look at the Drag
on s countenance as ho reads my last
letter to him.
Another sura of money I have put
away tn good hands whore ho won't
have a chance to get it , for my funeral
e penses. and then you bee I am
through with the world. 1 have no
body 10 leave that I need worry about
or who would either take care of mo
or feel sorry for mo if I needed career
or sympathy , which I do not So
that is why I laugh" and that is why I
come down and sit on this bench in
the sunshine and enjoy the posthu
mous joke.1
A sort of friendship sprang up be
tween Kobbins and the Living Skele
ton at least , as much of a friendship
as can cast between the living and
the dead , for Robbins waa a muscular
young fe'ion- ' who did not need to live
at the Kvieru on account of his
health , bat merely because he detested
an English winter. Besides this , it
may be ad-ilec' ' . although it is really
nobody's business , that a nice girl
and her parents lived in this particu
lar part of the smth of France.
One day Robbins look a little ex
cursion in a carriage to Toulon. He
had juviicii the nice girl to go with
him , bat on that particular day she
could : iol go. There was some big
charU'unction on hand , and one
nec.jssnry part of the affair was the
wheeuliiT of money out of the pee
ple's packets , and the nice girl had
undertaken to do part of the wheed
ling. On the evening of the
day there was to bw a bail at the
principal hotel in the place , also
in connection with this very desirable
charity. Robbins had reluctantly
gone to Toulon alone , and you may
depend upon it he was back in time
for the ball.
Well" ho said Jo the nice girl
when he met her.vhat luck collect
ing to-day ? "
Oh , the greatest luck , " she re
plied enthusiastically , "and who do
you think I got the most money
from ? "
1 am sure I haven't the slightest
idea that old English duke , ho cer
tainly has money enough. "
No , not from him at all ; the very
last person you would expect it from
your friend the Living Skeleton. "
What ! " cried Robbins , in alarm.
"Oh , I found him on the bench
where he usually sits , in the avenue
of palms. I told him all about the
charity , and how useful it was. and
how necessary , and how we all ought
to give as nuuth as we could toward
it. aud ho sin lied and smiled at me in
that curious way of his. 'Yes , ' he
said , in a whisper , ! believe the
charity should bo supported by every
one ; I will give you eighty francs. '
Now , wasn't that very generous of
him ? Eighty francs , that was ten
times what the duke gave and as he
handed me the money ho looked up
at me and said in that awful whisper
of his 'Count that over carefully
when you get home and see if you
can find out what else I have given
you. There is more than eighty
francs ibsrc.1 Then , after I got
home. I "
But here the nice girl paused , when
she looked at the face of Robbins. to
whom she was talking. The face
was ghastly pale , and his eyes were
staring at her but not seeing her.
"Eighty francs , " ho was whispering
to himself and he seemed to be mak
ing a mental calculation in subtrac
tion. Then noticing the girl's amazed
look at him. he said :
Did you take the money ? "
Of course I took it * " she said.
"Why shouldn't I ? "
"Great heavens ! " gasped Robbins ,
and then ho turned and fled , leaving
tie nice girl transfixed with astonish
ment and staring after him with a
frown on her pretty brow.
What does he mean by such con
duct ? " she asked herself. But Robbins
disappeared from the gathering throng
in the large room of the hotel , dashed
down the steps , and hurried along the
narrow pavement toward the Golden
Dragon. The proprietor was standing
in the hallway with his hands behind
him. a usual attitude with Dragon.
Where , " gasped Robbins. "is Mr.
Mr. " and then he remembered he
didn't know the name. "Where is
the Living Skeleton ? "
"He has gone to his room , "
answered the Dragon , "he went
early to-night he wasn't feeling well ,
I think. "
"What is the number of his room ? "
"No. 40. " and the proprietor rang
a loud , jangling bell , whereupon one
of the chambermaids appeared.
"Show this gentleman to No. 40. "
The girl preceded Robbins up the
stairs. Once she looked over her
shoulder , and said in a whisper , "Is
he worse ? "
"I don't know , " answered Robbins ;
that's what I have corne to see. "
At No. 40 the girl paused and
rapped lightly on the door panel.
There was no response. She rapped
again , this time louder. There was
still no response.
"Try the door. " said Robbius.
I am afraid to , " said the girl.
Why ? "
"Because he said if he were asleep
the door would be locked , and if he
were dead the door would be open. "
When did he say that ? "
He said it several times , sir , and
about a week ago the last time. "
Robbins turned the handle of the
door ; it was not locked. A dim light
was in the room , but a screen before
the door hid it from sight When ho
passed around the screen , he saw. up
on , the square marble-topped arrange
ment at the-head of the bed , a candle
burning and its light shone on the
dead face of the Skeleton , which had
a grim smile on its thin lips , while in
its clinched hand was a letter ad
dressed tOtheproprietor ) of the hotel
The J.jvingf .S.k'eleton .had given
more than 'the elgh'ty francs to that
deserving charity. Detroit Free
Press.1"
DEAR MOTHER DEATH.
When nitcht comes down to cover
The pleasant hills and sea ,
Then little children hover
About the mother's knee.
Their childish griefs and pleasures
Fade with the fading sky ,
And all their precious treasures
Dropt and forgotten lie.
Close , close their forms she presses ,
Kisses their weary eyes ,
And mingles soft caresses
With heart-born lullabies.
So , when life's day is ended ,
Its joys and sorrows o'er.
And when its visions splendid
Delight the heart no inoi ,
Dear Mother Death enfolds us
In arms that soothe and bless ,
And lulls us while she holds us
To sweet forgetfulness.
George Ilorton.
WHO WINS ?
In the year 1857. Delhi , though shorn
of its ancient splendor , was still a place
to talk and dream of.
The baxaa$3 were filled with rare
and costly merchandise , and streets of
the capital contained nothing but jew
elry , which was largely exported to
Europe and America.
But in a single night all this was
changed , and instead of the hum of
toiling thousands there came the
brazen notes of the war-trumpet , the
boom of cannon , the rattle of mus
ketry , and the steely Hash of miked
sabres.
British valor was once more called
upon lo defend the honor of Old Eng
land against a nation in revolt a
handful , so to speak , of devoted men
were pitted against Sepoy.-- , outnum
bering them a hundred to one or more.
Two officers were seated in a tent
enjoying a weed and a cup of migrant
coffee after the toil of the day. on
which a hard battle had been fought
against the enemy , victory declaring
for the side of the British.
"This is a change with a ven
geance. " remarked Captain Van-
deleur. a gallant soldier in a crack
cavalry regiment "A fortnight ago
we were dancing at General Coghlan's
patty , with his sweet granddaughter.
Cicely , as an engaging partner ; now
we caper to different music , with no
lady friends to smile encouragement
upon us. "
Quite right old fellow. " laughed
Cyril Bonthorpe. surgeon in the corps ,
and as bravo and handsome a fellow
as ever used lancet to relieve suffering
humanity. "I'm afraid we were both
hit in that quarter ; an affection of the
heart which , perhaps , a rebel bullet
will cure one of these days. "
"It's a soldier's lot if it does , "
said Vandeleur lightly. ! hail no
idea though. Benthorpe , that you wore
in the lL = td against me ; but \ve needn't
be less friends for that , need we , old
man ? "
"Certainly not , " said his friend ,
whose face assumed a more serious air
as he added : "By the way. I wonder
why wo have received no nev.-s from
the old general. I hope the rebels
are giving him uo trouble. "
By Jove ! 1 never thought of that.
But here comes Major Pringle. look
ing like another Bombastes Furioso ,
full of news. "
"Hallo , you fellows , " said the
major , "do you know that some
friends of yours are in great peril ? I
refer to the Coghlans. "
"We"re sorry to hear that Pringlo. "
remarked Benthorpe. "How did the
news reach our camp ? "
A fellow brought a few lines from
the general , rolled up , and hidden in
his ear. A squadron of our corps is
to start to-night to relieve the be
leaguered little garrison , if possible ,
and to bring its members in. "
"I should like to go. Tringle , " re
marked Vandeleur as ho poured out a
bumper for his chief with a view of
nroDitiatins1 him.
So should J. " put in Bonthorpe
eagerly.
Whati two of you badly hit in
that direction ? " laughed Pringle.
"Well , well. I'm no lady's man my
self , and so won't enter into rivalry
with you fellows. I have already detailed -
tailed you both in orders for the
smart little affair. The trumpet will
sound boot and saddle at nine. We
shall have a moon to guide us. thank
goodness ! "
See here , Benthorpe , " said Vande
leur. who was the first to break the
silence that had come upon both after
the major left , " 1 love Cicely , so do
you ; let us decide now who shall
have her. "
"How ? in what way ? "
"We are now going to the relief of
the place the man who reaches her
side first shall win her hand that is.
provided she is willing ; the other fel
low must retire gracefully. "
Benthorpe pondered over the pro
posal for a few minutes , and then
placing his hand in Vandeleur's , said
with all a soldier's frankness :
"Done with you , old fellow , it's a
bargain. If you win , Til congratu
late you ; if J , I shall expect the srune
treatment at your hands. "
Anything more incongruous tin .
thus staking love on the issue o a
dangerous expedition could not be ; ;
agined.
The moon had just shown itself ovj > -
a tope of mango trees when the ca -
airy started on their errand of merry
to rescue women and children from
death and dishonor , and to succoar
brave men who at that moment \v.-r
battling against great odds for d n
life.
life.Delhi
Delhi was soon left behind , and i i
boom of cannon became fainter ; .
fainter until at length it ceased
together. The squadron rode throt.
silent villages , embowered in p.
trees , whose-toll tops looked fair ; .
In the moon igTv which " ' " flooded Qgr
thing. , ,
A few village .curs barked defi
and occasionally a troop of . .sii i
made night hideous with their
some cries.
A short halt was called near a <
or miniature lake , whore the :
wore watere ] . and the men partook
of such refreshment as their haver
sacks afforded.
This done , they Haw to their cirths.
and. ro-mounting by word of com
mand , lest the sound of the trumpet
should wmi the rebels of their approach
preach , the galloped forward , the
clatter of their swords and accoutre
ments awakening the echoes of the
night and soun ling ominously of im
pending strife.
-1'y , 'ovo ! they're at it hammer
and tori''s" remarked Vandolenr to
Bonthor u in a Morn tone. "I'm glad
to hear liring : it shows that the garri-
i'Oii uro still holding out"
I "jes. Now to riMcuo Cicely , " said
Benthorpo with a grim smile. * 'i'or
once 1 shall become a combatant of
ficer , and shall use my sword to
wound and slay , instead of saving life.
The black hounds deserve neither
pity nor consideration , they have
committed so many atrocities. "
Every man of the British army
shared these sentiments to the full ,
and resolved that , whenever the shock
of battle came , lo neither ask for nor
give quarter to such dastardly foemon.
Swords leaped from steel scabbards ,
and for a moment both horses and
men were almost as motionless as
statues. ,
Then came the clarion notes of the
trumpet sotinclinsr the charge , and
away went our bravo fellows , straight
as an arrow from a well-bent bow ,
for the enemy.
The relief had come not a moment
too boor. , for when the first British
sabre descended on the head of : i
rebel Sfeioy. { a hand-to-hand light was
going on between the garrison and the
mutineer .
Yandeleur and Benthorpo kept close
together , and thrust and parried , and
gave downright blows , as they made
their way through swarms of dusky
foemen , whose faces blanched before
the courage displayed by British
soldiers , who. if well-handled , were
always invincible.
At last Vandeleur was able to take
General Coghlan by the hand , and to
congratulate him.
Whore is Miss Coghlan ? " IScn-
thorpe asked. fg
"She was safe a moment ago. " ' < ! 1
"By Heavens ! that's her voice call
ing for help11 ; exclaimed Vandeleur.
as , spurring his horse forward , he
rode in that direction , followed by
Benthorpe , both ot whom saw the
woman they loved in the arms of an
officer of sowars ( irregular cavalry. )
who was well-mounted , and at that
moment was riding off with his lovely
prize.
Both men rode after the wretch ,
eager to be the first to rescue Cicely. f' v
It was a race for love , and promised - |
ised to be a lon one. for the rebel's
horse was a powerful animal , and
kept up a good pace , in spite of its
double burden.
Once out upon the open plain the
chase became exciting , for the sowar ,
seeing himself pursued , put forth
every effort to-outdistance his foes.
from whom he would meet no mercy
if overtaken.
Vandeleur being a light weight and
a good rider was gradually heading
away from his friend Benthorpo , when
his horse caught its 1'oot in a rope
and stumbled.
This gave Benthorpe the advantage ,
and ho was not slow to use it for he
shot ahead with a grim smile of
pleasure , and was pleased to find that
ho was gaining on the sowar.
Suddenly the fellow wheeled half-
round , and taking deliberate aim fired
at his pursuer whose horse was hit
and fell under him.
By this time Vandeleur rode up.
when Benthorpe shouted :
"Frank , win her save Cicely ! "
Vandeleur's answer was to wave his
hand , as ho kept straight on , like a
blood-hound on the scent of death.
"By Heavens ! " he hissed between
his clenched teeth , "he'll escape me
after all if I'm not careful ! "
Snatching a pistol from the holster ,
he fired , but the cap only snapped.
With an anathema of disgust he pro
duced its fellow , and being a noted
shot , fired this time with success , for
the sowar reeled in the saddle , and
fell to the ground , still however ,
holding Cicely in his arras.
When Vandeleur's sword entered
the rebel's body it was only just In
time to save Cicely's life ; another mo
ment and the fellow's dagger would
nave been plunged into her heart
The war is over and in dear old
England Major Vandeleur stands at
Lhe altar with Cicely Coghlan , Ben
thorpe being best man.
'Twas not till the honeymoon was
over that Frank told his wife of the
little incident of "Who Wins ? " Sat
urday Evening Post
"A Snap. "
"Ah. " said .Jacksnipe. as he looked
over 12.470 acres of marsh , of v/hich
ic seemed the sole inhabitant "this
is what I call a Snap. There are none
.o Molest and I shall Eftsoons gather
: Tour Bushels of Tender Worms. "
So ho alighted and Inserted his
[ "lexiblo Beak in the soft Earth , and
ic said : "Tho earth is mine.1'
But there came a Cold Wind , which
? rozo every thing as it came. It
rozo the Tender Worm Crosswise in
the Jacksnipo's Flexible Beak ; so that
neither Worm nor Jacksnipe could
[ jet away and in a few Short Moments
, here was a Frappe Jacksnipe on the
Vlarsh.
That is what I call a Snap. " said
the Cold Wind.
MoraL It is a poor snap that won't
work both ways , especially in a back
ward spring. Forostand Stream.
A KIsff in Boston.
He May I I have a kiss. Mehit-
-Miss Mehitable Beaconhill ( f-om
Boston ) If you see proper to bring
about a paroxysmal contact between * J
Jie labial appendages of the superior
and inferior maxillaries. I shall not
seriously object Texas Sittings.