* 'MBIK '
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t ii i
jgB DAILY TB1BPNF.
* * ' • " ' . ICI.IIjIII'Mm I'iiIiIUIiim- .
Mc : ' 0 ( > k. ; ] n " et\
Th people of the United States
spend f25.000.000 annually for baking :
powders. Verily , wo are a rising na-
• B Washington Memorial Arch
f
iundof Now York was increased by
upwards of thirty conts this week. Our
goneroua millionaires havo doubtless
fce ° n contributing.
Apteii tho Johnstown and other
Rasters by flood , tho - ruin wrought
D .v high winds and tho tremendous
1033 of property by storms on tho
Atlantic coast , tho east should bo in a
humble nnd contrite mood and tho cry
of "Westward , ho > " will doubtless re-
ccivo more respectful attention.
Tiierb is a strong sentiment in Mex
ico in favor of a reciprocity treaty
"with this country , but tho feeling is
that ; the initiative should bo taken by
thoUnited | States. This view , under
tho , circumstances , is a natural one to
take , as Mexico went farther in this
direction in tho past than wo did.
George W. Childs , of tho Phlla-
"dolphla Public Lodger , and Anthony J.
Drexel , tho head of tho groat banking
houso of Droxol & Co. , are said to bo
tho warmest of friends. They are
millionaires , and neither is afraid of
the other trying to borrow money of
him. Th'it little habit is very trying
between friends.
Oliver "Wendell Holmes has spent
the hotter part of a long life in writ
ing poetry that men and women can
' read without a blush , can understand
1 without a pickaxe or microscope , and
-aro happier , better and nobler for
Jporusing. His laughter never jeers ,
isarcasm never poisons , his tears aro
| lnever weak or sickly.
I The innocent and guileless people
I who live in cities aro no match for
* -thoir country cousins. A writer in tho
'
'Boston Post says that certain towns in
-New Hampshire and Vermont h vo
' "
' "been stocked with bogus antique furni-
f . vture , which is sold at exorbitant prices
• Jt'to city visitors , who think they are
§ 'getting old family heirlooms.
"Some scientific people havo figured
"that tho rock of Niagara is being
'worn away by tho waters at such rate
Jthat in a few thousand years the
f 'cataract will work up to Lake Erie.
" 'The ' Canadians are determined to de-
• lay this progress , so far as in them
Jlie3. and will punish American sports
iwliOitnay rub down the rock by going
* over tho falls in tho fulfilment of
wagers.
" < A"dltlctJLTURE being still the leading
interest in the country , the crops are
prime factors in determining the busi
ness situation. For this reason the
• country may confidently look for in-
" creased railway earnings and an ex-
e j pansion in tho clearances of the banks
FS . . in the chief cities. In both of those
_ _ , - . X lines of activity there may have been
| S " \galns throughout the year , as compar-
jl | -fed with 1888.
Jff The records kept by Mexico show
HI "that the cxportations of merchandise
Bf rfrom the United States to that country
j | - are many millions of dollars in value
mk ; greater than our official documents re-
Ik - veal. This omission on our side , of
m f course , is well known to our authorities
W > : and to Congress. There is no law pro-
Kf * viding for the collection of statistics of
m\ \ exports from this country to foreign
w v territory by rail.
Kj A. young man down in Indiana has
| 'set : an example which the young wo
lf nnon will do well to discontinue right
1 " - -away. He was engaged to marry a
II .young lady , but on the day set for the
Wfk iwedding fled to Canada. So long as
IS , ' rCanada only entices our recreant bank
Mm. / ' cashier we can as a nation stand it , but '
If / - ' > when she enters the lists as a refuge
* p ' 'for recalcitrant bridegrooms there is
Bf $ -Jjound to bo aheap of trouble.
| | * "That Queen Victoria is a woman of
El i vjnore than ordinary force of character
Wrt J Jis clearly shown by the fact that during
lJ ( 3 , her recent visit to Wales she on sev-
IrW - cral occasions flattered the natives by
m\ \ * * . addressing them in their own language.
K Moreover , she is able to both read : ind
Wm - write Hindostanee with considerable
I fluency. There are but few ladies who
I . &t the age of seventy would have the
1 perseverance and the courage to ac-
i quire proficiency in two such excruci-
| atingly difficult languages as Hindo-
K i stauee and Welsh.
n /The relations of employer and em-
V "iploye have vastly changed within the
B Jlast century. The modern system , in-
H evolving vast corporations and combina-
H \fcionsof capital , is a comparatively new
H areation. The development has been
H , without parallel in the history of the
H , • world , and it is but natural that the
H' 'masses should be unable to grasp the
H .great problem of the ultimate effect at
HI once , and in consequence have been
BJ jplaced at a great disadvantage in con
s' -ducting their defense against the ag-
B agressions made upon them.
flj a. GOOD many towns in New Eng-
Hj "land liavo celebrated their 250th birth- .
Ik days recently , and the fact that they
1 * pass for very old communities shows
1 ' , -what a very young country we are ,
l | -arter alL In the Old World they
II --would "bo regarded as the toddling in-
II • /fants among towns. If Damascus
mm wwero to set out to celebrate , it would
B * .puzzle the wisest of its wise men to
B > number the anniversary. Damascus
B * is s& * ° nave heen an old stablished
B • city nineteen hundred years before
B h Christ. On the other hand , the Amer-
B * sican community has the advantage
B " 'that''its oldest inhabitant remembers
B rthe oldest inhabitant of his boyhood ,
B "Wio rememberedthe' site of the town
B before there was any town.
Bu MiB P te
* t
rplALE CYCLISL"
Eov tho Wily Machine Ban Away With
an Estimable Lady.
Sho Took an Afternoon Outing In
Central Park and Added .Mate
rially to the Attractions of
that Interesting : Resort.
Among tho many interesting things
to bo seon in Central Park , tho past
week , was my wife's mother on a bi
cycle. It was not her intention orig
inally to enter into competition with
tho menagerie , but it's a frozen fact
that the two hippopotami wero noth
ing to her after she got fairly started.
TOO NUCn FOR ONE MAN.
I may add that the difficulty was
right there getting started. With
tho aid of two men and a step ladder
my wife's mother can climb upon a
good , square-rigged horse with a stout
leg under each corner of him , and do
it so nicely that tho beast will smile
through his tears ; but with a bicycle it
is different. A bicycle has only two
legs and neither of them can be de-
dentled upon to hold still in an emer
gency. Sho enjoys equestrian ism very
much because sho thinks that it re
duces her weight , but , as tho matter of
fact , it is much more likely to havo
that effect upon tho horse. As a friend
of dumb animals I have advised my
wife's mother to transfer her direc
tions to tho bicycle. I told her that it
was becoming very fashionable so
much so that the newspapers had be
gun to libel celebrated actresses and
others Mrs. Langtry and Mrs. Potter
among tho others by saying that they
wore experts with the wheel.
I also told my wife's mother that I
knew of a girl who reduced her weight
twenty pounds by bicycle riding. This
was a fact. She broke her spine in
three places and isn't out of the hos
pital yet
I did not mention the latter part of
this to my wife's mother , because I
wouldn 't bo so mean as to spoil her
sport with needless anxiety , as , after
all. she mlcrht live through this as sho
had through many other things that I
had confidently depended upon.
My representations decided her and
she prepared for a gre-it success on
wheels. She did not care to appear in
the park without preparatory practice ,
so sho hired a bicycle and had it
brought to tho .house. With this she
experimented in tho hall outside the
door of our flat , during the daytime ,
when the men were down town. She
did not learn to ride up and down
stairs , though she went part of the way
down once very successfully , but sho
acquired a pose which was somewhat
easier and moro dignified than if the
bicycle had been a brush fence , though
not much.
Then she decided that it was safe to
try the park. There is a place close
by where women can hire bicycles , and
there my wife's mother asked for and
obtained one with a rugged constitu
tion and a gentle disposition. She led
the docile machine to a secluded spot ,
where she thought to get a good start
before sailing out before tho admiring
gaze of the multitude. Then she tried
to mount , but it wasn't so easy there as
in the hall with tho bannisters to hang
on to. Sho tried it till the machine
got tired and then it lay down and she
fell over it. At the next attempt sho
put her foot through one wheel and sat
down on the other one. At this mo
ment park policeman No. 13 hove in
sight.
"Can I help ye thin wid that hay-
thin machine , I dunuo ? " he inquired
politely.
"I can ride real well on my own
bicycle , " said my wife's mother with
true feminine mendacity , "but this
ugly thing lies down every time I look
at it. "
"It looks daycint and docile , " said
No. IS , "but the dayvil is in them
things. I see % power of 'em every
day , and the tricks they is up to. an'
why half the women in th's town ain't
walkin' round this minute with broken
necks i3 beyant me entirely. "
they all wanted to hold it.
By this time No. 13 had lifted up
the machine and was holding it on one
side while my wife's mother mounted
on the other. Several spectators had
strolled up meanwhile. My wife's
mother made a bold hasty step , and the
bicycle took a tilt toward No. 13. He
dug his toes into the sand and tried to
brace up under the load , but it was a
little too much for him. Things began
to look serious. My wife's mother let
go her grip oq the steering apparatus
and flung her arms around No , 1-3's
neck. He took a new grip on the
earth at an increased angle. Several
of tho spectators offered advice , though
there was really nothing to do but
trust in providence. No. 13's feet slip
ped slowly out from under him ; my
wife's mother attempted to fly , and.
succeeded so well that when she and
tho bicycle , after a short aerial per
formance , decended together they
found No. 13's prostrate body waiting
for them. He was removed from under
the wreck much broader , but not near
ly so thick as he had been before.
Nevertheless the spectators of whom
there wero now a large number , re
garded the affair-as a great joke , and
fifty or a hundred of them offered to
hold the machine for nothing if my
wife's mother would try it again.
Probaoly they thought that they could
bluff her out This mistake arose from
not having had her in the family. She
i
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i l l • - wi lwn1m.M.II " ' | lliW'fiwr-r
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rr Ttti r m I .ii wjL1 itl i t ii i. i i ijtfi I Li i > I ' - WHSKUjkL
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ * _ . _ ' - "
was in a condition of mind to ride that
iicyclo if nothing had romalued of it
but ono wheel. Singularly onough ,
however , it was found to bo substan
tially uninjured. About a dozen men
then grabbed tho machine while tho
fomalo cyclist of our family proceedod
to mount. They wore x sslsted by one
small boy who took hold of tho rear
wheel with the avowed intention of
"steadyin' do bloomin' bike till do old
lady hollered go. " Ho didn't wait for
the siernal , howovor , but , as soon "as
my wife's mother got her seat , he gave
tho machine a violent push which
caused tho slender man In front to sit
down very suddenly. Tho cyclist ,
having by this time got a grip on the
treadles , took a flying Btart and passing
over tho slender man longthwiso ,
proceeded on her way down hill.
It isn't very hard to run a bicycle
down hill if you're in a hurry and
don't care how fast you go , and don't
get your feet mixed up with tho
treadles or run over a dog or meet
anything coming up. Somo of these
possibilities occurred to my wife's
mother after the speed of tho ma
chine began to got away from her ,
and they destroyed her peace of mind.
But nothing serious happened. She
ran down the long hill beautifully , and
her headway took her about forty
feet up a short , steep inclino that faced
tho other slope. She tried to continue
her progress up this slope but it
wouldn't work. Instead , sho began to
gather speedn the opposite direction ;
so she gracefully alighted on her back ,
and picked up the machine which had
run into a tree.
Sho led tho bicycle up the hill , and
endeavored to look as if nothing had
happened. Sho was not wholly suc
cessful for her fame spread and there
seemed to bo people all over tho place
who wanted to hold tho machine , and
then see the fun afterwards. Among
them was a large , fat patriarch who
said that ho was an expert. He really
did understand the subject very well ,
for ho put my wife's mother on it with
out much trouble , and suggested that
she should ride round and round on the
level space at the top of the hill and
not try to go down. She tried this
plan and succeeded fairly well.
Meanwhile the expert strolled down
tho hill. Probably he knew that my
wife's mother would get down there
eventually. She gol there sooner than
he expected. For riding a bicycle a
woman wears a round , full skirt , much
like an ordinary riding habit but not so
long. Now there happened to bo a
good breeze on the eminence , and be
fore my wife's mother was aware of ft
her skirt had blown out like a great
balloon and was sailing off with her
before tho wind , and the wind blew
straight down the hill. Forty miles an
hour was nothing to her speed at the
moment when ' the obliging expert
turned and'saw her bearing down up
on him. He was too completely taken
by surprise to dodge , so he lied. A
half dozen other pedestrians and sev
eral dogs joined in the stampede. They
made good time but it was no use ; they
couldn't beat tho air ship on wheels.
The flying machine passed over the
fat gentleman and ground his nose in
to the sand.
* 'jfef |
an * wife's mother under full sail.
Tho bicycle was deflected from its
course by this collision , and made a
jump for a shady nook where one of
the park gardners was eating his lunch
sitting on a board across two barrels.
The bicycle went under tho board , and
my wife's mother went over it. She
took the gardner with her. He did not
mean to elope but he couldn't help it.
He had no time to reflect. They both
landed in a large tank which the gar
dener had been filling as a sort of res-
ervior.
Undoubtedly if I had seen this event
with all its breakneck possibilities I
should have thought myself in luck.
But I wasn't. My wifeVmotber escap
ed entirely uninjured , but the bicycle
wasa wreck.and-X had to pay for it.
Still it is a fact that although bicycling
is getting more fashionable for women ,
it has permanently lost its popularity
in our family.
if.
If damsels fair and youthful
But meant the thimrs they say ,
Ah ! then , what joy to listen
When eyes of azure glisten
And tender words and truthful
Our fears and doubts allay ;
If damsels fair and youthful
But meant the things they say.
If maidens never flirted
And men wero never false ;
If matrons never chided ,
If wall flowera ne'er derided ,
One's cares might be diverted
By gliding through a valse ;
If maidens never flirted
And men were never false.
If bores were never present ,
And boors were never seen ;
If girls in their tenth season
"Would only listen to reason ,
'Twould render much more pleasant
Society , l ween ;
If bores were never present
And boors were never seen.
America
A Gambler's Bequest.
Frederick Brown , a well known
sporting man of Washington , who died
in Saratoga recently , made a will leav
ing his mother $80,000. This amount
he has won from the bookmakers in
the last year. At the last meeting of
the Jockey club in 1888 he "went
broke , " saving from tho wreck only a
diamond ring , which he pawned for
$40. Borrowing $10 he started with
this capital and won $6,000 during the
spring meeting. He followed the
horses to Monmouth , Sheepshead and
Saratoga , and won right along. He
deposited $17,000 of his winnings in a
Saratoga bank.
Hereditary Heredity.
An honest Indian , who had been
among the white men long enough to
learn how to shave his fellow men ,
within the pale of tho law , opened a
barber shop out in Cheyenne. Some
body , probably not a clergyman , hung
a sign up over his door , the first night ,
which read , "Superfluous Lair removed
while you wait. " And all next day
the patient barber wondered why no
body came near his shop except a bald
headed policeman who loitered behind
a tree box over the way. Burdette.
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" " * ' " ' ' " > -n -i
A VALLEY OF WONDERS.
Marvelous Slgrhts Alongr tho
Course of tho Colorado River.
On tho Colorado rlvor , a distance of
100 milos , are mountains of salt ex
tending miles. The salt is so puro
that a nowspuper can bo read through
blocks of six and eight inches. A
single blast of giant powdor will blow
out ton3 upon tons of it. This salt
does not dazzle your oyes , as you
might expect , while riding along on
the river steamer or clambering over
it It has a layer of sandstone from
two to eight feet thick over it When
this is torn away the salt lies in full
sight like a great snowdrift. How
deep it is nobody knows. This salt is
destined to bo the source of great
wealth. Hamilton Dlsston , tho big
saw manufacturer , and Baldwin , of tho
• Baldwin locomotive * works , are tho
only men who havo secured any of
these salt mountains. When the Utah
Southern railroad is pushed on from
Frisco. Utah , it will tap the gigantic
salt mountains. The rocks up toward
the salt mountains aro painted and cut
into hieroglyphics which none of tho
Mojave , Yuma , Pinto or other Indians
know the meaning of. There are
valleys along tho great but as yet un
known Colorado , singly as much as
120 miles long and twenty wide. That
will be the real orange country of tho
globe. They aro as rich as tho valley
of tho Nile. Irrigation will redeem
them. Water will bo brought on
them as sure as destiny.
El Dorado canyon is grander than
tho Grand canyon of tho Colorado.
The tops of the windows of tho steamer
Gila do not project out moro than six
inches , yet I may put my head out and
look as high as 1 can and I can't see
half way up tho mighty walls of tho
canyon. Tho l-iver is 350 feet wide
there , too. The onJy way you can see
to tho top is to get right out on deck
and look straight up. Tho walls are
so high that there is perpetual shade
there. Neither the sun nor the moon
can ohine in. It takes ten hours going
up to go through the canyon and two
hours coming down. By the Colorado
river and the Virgin you can run clear
up into Nevada and Utah. Many peo
ple havo laughed at me for saying
I was going up into mountainous
Nevada by boat , but that's just what I
have been doing right along. Strange
as it may seem , and little as it is , the
Colorado lias more navigable water
without portage than any other river
on the Pacific coast. It has 700 miles ,
while the Columbia has but 330. The
Colorado is the only real field for ex
plorers on the North American conti
nent outside of the frigid North. The
wonders that could be unearthed thero
will yet attract the attention of tho
greatest scientists of tho world. Col
orado Letter.
m *
A Man of tho World.
I suppose I am one of those persons
who come under the street phraseolo
gy of "a man of the world. " I also
suppose that phrase , in its best sense ,
means a man not wholly good or bad
a person known and distinguished
from those whose pretensions lead
them into exclusiveness those who
pretentiously consider themselves spec
ially ushered into the world for a pur
pose. With this self-sanctifying defi
nition of my playe in the social , econom
ic , political and business world , I havo
closely observed the men of my class
as contra-distinguished from my own.
Few men who have breasted the waves
of every day life , who are deep within
the shadow to-day and smiling in the
sunshine to-morrow , fail to develop a
heart rich in all the impulses of human
sympathy and benevolence. Now , it is
with no intention to cast odious reflec
tions upon a pretentious class by relat
ing a recent incident A comparatively
young man , of good family and having
the advantage of a good education , but
who was unfortunate to the extent of
leaving the parental roof prematurely ,
and who failed to find the world all
roses , called upon a now wealthy and i
formerly intimate friend of his father's
family for assistance. He was seedy
and absolutely needed. He wanted to
take his rags and all his valuable ex
perience home again , freely admit his
error and commence life anew. He
was not only refused assistance , but
was even gruffly ordered away. He re
turned to his old haunts and his men
of the world associates disheartened ,
related his day's experience to a com
pany of three or four , and with the re
sult that they chipped in enough to |
send him to the old home , and they I
did not ask any note for the amount
advanced , with usurious interest ,
either. I received a check for tho ,
amount a few days ago. and it may not
be inappropriate to say that his father j
has discontinued his business relations J '
with the man to whom his son applied
for assistance , which means the loss of '
several thousand a year. Globe Dem
ocrat.
Itrough and fomin.
In one of his political campaigns ,
Gov. Brough was pitted against Corj j
win. In the course of his speech tho
Governor said : "Gentlemen , my hon
ored opponent himself , while ho
preaches encouragement of home in- ,
dustry , has a carriage at home which i
he got in England had it shipped
across the ocean to him. How is that
for supporting home industry and j
labor ? " When Corwin's turn came , he .
beganslowly and in a stammering , |
confused manner , as if he felt himself ]
in a very embaVrassing predicament. .
• 'Well , gentlemen , " ho said , "you ,
have heard what my friend , Mr.
Brough , has to say of my carriage. I
plead guilty to the charges and '
have only two things to say
in my defense. The first is that
the carriage came to me from
an English ancestor as an heirloom ,
and I had to take it ; the second is that
I have not used it for seven years , and
it has been standing in my back-yard
all that time and the chickens have
converted it into a roost. Now , gen
tlemen , that is all the defense I havo
to offer ; but before I go on with what
I have to say upon the topics before
us , I should like to ask how Brough
happens to know anything about my
carriage , unless he has been visiting
my chicken roos.t . ? " Argonaut
Id a Russian Court
The folk lore of Southern Russia can
be partially imagined from a case which
came before a judge of Odessa. A man
applied for a writ to compel his
daughter to leave the house , because
when she saluted her parents she did
not bow to them. He said that he • '
would withdraw his application if she
would ask pardon and make the regu
lar obeisance. The girl agreed. She
asked pardon ; but when she bowed the
father cried : "Lower. Down with
your head ! down below the girdle ! "
She replied : "I won't bend as low as
that not if I have to leave the house. "
The judge thereupon ordered her to
leave , but she gave in finally and
bowed her head to the girdle.
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ji _ j.j _ , , * . L , . * i ii , , i' iiuai u.niMi mi , iiwxirr mi
QfDEED , IT WAS QUITE A SNA-IB.
Antique But Hearty and Probably
the Progonltor of a Family.
" 1 know that don of big black
3nakos over In Potter county that
Simon Kent talks about in tho Item ,
but I novor know about tho 14 foot
snake that tried to capture a mule , "
said a man from Wollsvlllo. "I
havon't any doubt of It , though , for a
bigger one than that tried to got away
with Charles Wolfling a blacksmith
from Plko Mills , one day last summer ,
and two others , ono 10 foot long and
tho other 12 , waylaid old Mr. Compton
and his daughter and wero bound to
carry them off. That don has been
thero from time out of mind. It is in
tho southwestern part of Potter
county , along tho Young Woman's
Creek , in a stretch of deep , dark
woods known as tho Black Forest. A
year never goes by that a number of
immense blacksnakcs aro not over
powered in that locality , as they aro
always prowling around looking for
unwary teamsters and unsuspecting
pedestrians. I don't suppose thero is
another spot on this continent where
such monstrous blacksnakcs can bo
found. I don't know what it is that
makes them grow so big there , but my
opinion is that It is because tho locality
whero they dwell is so wild and hard
to get at that tho snakes havo undis
turbed opportunity to reach a patriar
chal age , and take on thoir size with
years. I believe blacksnakcs would
get just as big elsewhero if they
could only get tho time. Thero
is no doubt in my mind
that somo of thdso Black
Forest serpents were born long before
this country was settled. I havo seen
them with their faces as wrinkled as a
walnut , and with long gray hairs on
their upper lips. I killed one onco
down there that had a funny lump "on
its side. I cut down into it four or five
inches , and found a flint arrow head at
tho bottom of the lump. Thero is only
ono explanation for the presonco of
that arrow head there. The snake had
been shot by an Indian sometime , and
as there hadn't been any Indians hunt
ing with bows and arrows in that coun
try for a good many generations , o 'f
course Ihe snake must have been a
lively native before tho days of tho
white men in that country , and nobody
knows how many years before , either.
I'll bet anything on that snake's boing
a hundred years old at least , and it
was as halo and hearty a serpent as
ever I saw. I say I killed it , but that
is hardly the truth , either , although it
owed its death to me. 1 was lumber
ing along Old Worn m's Creek , and had
a lot of logs banked ready for rolling
down the steep slope into the creek.
Accidentally I let a log get away from
mo in unloading it , and away it went
down the hill. It had gone maybe
half way down and had acquired a tre
mendous momentum when I saw one of
the big blacksnakcs of the region come
tearing out from some place where it
had been hiding and rush right out in
the way of the rolling log. I don't
know what the snake thought the log
was , but he was evidently in a state of
supreme fury at it , for he stopped and
raised his head and awaited the com
ing of the log. The log kept right on
and struck the snake full force. The
crash was a good one , and the log was
stopped as still as if it had brought up
against a rock.
" • Well , ' I said to myself , that's
pretty good. There' a snakewith a
constitution or there never was one.T
"I went down the hill and found the
log canted up against the snake , and if
a man unused to that country nadcome
along just then I'd have said to him :
" \Tust look at that snake and that
log. "
"He'd a looked and then said :
" 'Which is the snake ? '
"But the snake was dead , and I very
foolishly , after cutting into the lump
on his side to satisfy my curiosity and
finding the ancient flint arrow-head ,
pried him ouf and rolled him down into
tho creek with the log , instead of
measuring him and reporting his death
and size. Consequently I can't tell
how long he was , but he was a dandy4
But I actually believe that if he could
have been seasoned and sawed up he'd
have cut up into as nice a bill of six
teen inch boards as anyone over
bought. That snake , of course , was
an exception to the ordinary run of
Black Forest snakes. I may be wrong ,
but I believe he was the founder of the
blacksnnke family there. There wasn't
a gray hair on him , though , and his
teeth were as sound as a pebble. "
Philadelphia Item.
o
How a 3Ian Became a Colonel on Short Semce.
Col. Ike Hill , of Licking county ,
without doubt one of the greatest of
national characters , was in the city a
few days ago. To a number of old
friends , wno braved the terrors of
war , he related how he came by tho
title of colonel.
"I served in the
army one consecu
tive night , " said Ike. "It was the
Army of the Potomac , and it was near
Alexandria when I found them. I was
on my way there , and on • the train ,
not far from Alexandria , met an old
friend who was an officer in that army.
I was then a great short-card player ,
and he knew it. Ho invited me to go
down to camp , tellingme I could win
a barrel of money. Well , I went.
"It was 'long toward evening , and
that night we had a game of poker.
Why , I won at least $3,000 , breaking
them all. One of the crowd of officers
was a soro loser , and when he had
staked and lost his hist cent he pull
ed his revolver and made me throw
up my hands. Then they took every
cent I had and turned me over from
one guard to another until I landed in
the bull pen at Alexandria. I was
dressed fit to kill , and one of those
devils took a knife , running it up the
back of my Prince Albert , slitting it
to the neck. My patent leather shoes
were all burst from walking and I was |
almost dead , besides being 'busted. ' *
I succeeded in getting out of the j
prison and over to Washington , where •
Mrs. Sunset Cox loaned me $25 in
gold. "
" 'Was that allot your war experi
ence ? " asked one of the party.
"That was all. Capt. Owens once
asked me. in a very surprised way ,
whether I had thrown up my hands
when they told me to. I said I did.
• ' 'Well , I wouldn't have done it1
he said.
" 'No , you would have whipped the
army. I couldn 't. " Cincinnati En- j
quirer.
A California Cnriositj- .
A crustacean curiosity of much in
terest has just been added to the state
museum of California. Its scientific
name is Birgo Latis , the robber crab , j
It is a land crab and lives by cllmbinsr ,
pocoanut trees , from which it gathers j
the fruit cracking the same and eating
its fruit. It is very handsome in ap- ,
pearance , with strong claws , and looks
like a cross between a crab and a lob
ster. This specimen was brought
from the Fanning islands , on the other
side of tho equator. Two of them w ere
brought , but ono has sines died.
WT T- r > - * TIT - -
! •
, ni hi miasm on abobs : n xmjweaa mji
A HORSE-THIEF CLUB.
A Clorgyman Tolls tho Story of Hl9
Connootlon with It.
A reporter for tho San Francisco Ex
aminer had an interview with ltov.
Lawronco Grassman , who bad just re
turned from Japan. Tho rovcrond
gentleman gavo tho reporter nn account
of his connection with a horsothiof
club in Nebraska. "Yes , indeed ; I
used to be ono of tho members of such
a club. I bolonged to ono for two
years. I always did llko a good
horso , and whon I first located in
Omaha , I purchased a rather good ani
mal. I had just got fairly settled
down whon ono day a man by tho namo
of Strong called nnd asked mo If 1
didn't want to join the Horse Thief
Club. Whon I asked him tho purpose
of tho organization ho said it was a
club to protect horso owners from tho
depredation of horso thioves. Yet tho
club wont by its peculiar namo , which
oxpressed just tho opposite idea it was
intended to. Ho said as I hud a horso
I had better get in and join , and if my
horso was stolen tho club would send
men after tho thioves and recover tho
property. All this would cost mo $1 a
month. "
"I asked him if tho taxes I paid to
tho authorities would not give mo tho
same right. 'Hardly , ' ho said. His
idea of tho local authorities was very
low. He said he never yet heard of a
sheriff in Nebraska catching a horso
thief , and that ho believed that half the
officers of tho law in Nebraska wero in
with the thioves. Henco tho necessity
of a local club to protecthorso owners.
Well , continued the Bov. Grassman. E
concluded that 1113horse was worth
protecting ; I was duly initiated ono
night the club meeting in an old barn.
At first I thought I had fallen in with
a pretty hard crowd , but when they be
gan to talk I concluded that I had met
asetofmen who had conbiderable good
horse sense. They wero rough men
and wore old clothes.but they were good
types of the honest , hardy frontiers
man. They treated mo with a rough ,
sincere courtesy , and during the meet
ing a motion was made to excuse me
from active service on tho 'Overtaking
Committee , '
"To make a long story short , ono
night my beautiful bay horso was stol
en and a special session of the club was
called. I was considerably excited ,
of course , and was early at tho meet
ing. The club had a short session and
appointed William Strong and two
other men as on 'Overtaking Commit
tee' to trail the thieves. They mount
ed their fast horses in about five min
utes and , with re vol vera strapped on ,
set off in the dead of night on a smart
gallop. In about ten days they return
ed and brought my horse back. That
night tho committee made their report.
As near as I can remember it was as
follows :
' • 'Wc , tho committee , report that
wo 'overtook' the man who stole tho
horse. William Stkoxg , Chairman. '
"Then they adjourned , and next day
I had a talk with Strong. The conver
sation was about like this :
" 'Where did you find my horse ? '
" 'Down in Kansas ; just across tho
line. '
" 'Did you find the thief ? T
" 'We overtook him. '
" 'Why didn't you bring him bade ? '
* * 'I said he was overtook. *
" 'What do you mean by overtook ? '
" 'Overtook with tribulation. I
guess he had hard luck. '
" 'Did you talk with him about the
sin of stealing ? '
" 'Talked some. '
" 'What did he talk1
" 'He t Iked back. '
" 'What did ho say ? *
" 'Nothin' ; he just sassed the com
mittee. '
" 'Did he talk long ? '
" * He quit sooner than we did. *
" 'Did you ask him to come back ? '
" 'Naw. "
" 'You should havo brought him
back and had him punished. Had
you no idea of arresting him ? '
" 'We hadn 't no requisition. '
" 'So you allowed him to go away
after this crime ? "
" 'Not by a jugful. No man goes
away after he's caught hoss stealin. "
"Why not ? '
" 'Cos he's dead , * parson deader'n
nits. '
" 'Do vou mean to say you killed
him ? '
" 'We him six times
plugged , par
son , and he curled up alongside the
road and died right there. I hated to
tell yer this * cos you're a preacher.
I kept a fightin' yer off , but yer kept
comin' at me , and so now yer know
that the § 10 yer put up helped pay
the expenses of the overtakers ; but
yer can bet high that there is no ex
pense to the undertakers. We all
agreed to keep the killin' back from
yer , but yer pumped me and yer got
the inside of the deal , didn't yer ? "
" • Why , my dear sir , did you shed
this man's blood ? '
" 'Coss he stole 3-er hoss. We vmxi
onto him early one morning , just be
yond the Kansas line. When we rede
up he was just gettin' through break
fast He didn't like the look of us I
guess , for he up and snaps a gun at us
twiste as 1 rode up. Guess the rainy '
night had dampened the caps , for she
didn't go , but when I slung ray Colt
to the fore and plugged him a couple
er times she went , she did. Jack and
Andy plugged him some , too. We
just left him lay in' there in the road ,
and recoverin' yer hoss , come home.
His relatives are the proper pussons
to bury him , but folks that an't no kin
to a hoss thief oughten to monkey
Avith his remains. ' "
The reverend story teller gave the
recital with an inimitable drawl , and
took off the queer frontier speech to
the life.
"I retilly felt sorry. " he continued ,
"that the man who stole the horse was
killed , for hor e stealing is a sin that
I always f2lt like forgiving a man for.
The sin of cjvetousness never touches
my soul except when I see a sleek ,
spirited horse. I can look on heaps of
gold and feel no envy of the owner , on
precious stones and be indifferent
even the charms of lovely women hard
ly move me but the sight of a fine ,
high stepping horse about fourteen
hands high and a good chest with clean
legs and a springy motion when he
walks , sets me aflame with a dlsDOsi-
tion to own him. I am kept back by a
sense that I must not disgrace my
family by stealing him , so , when I find
a man who has no self control , no edu
cation , no moral training , I know that
ne has stolen horses and pity him for
the possession of a passion that is mor
ally his master. My good common
sense tells me that if I should take an
other man's horse I would be discovered
and imprisoned. But if I ever got an
idea that I could secure it without de
tection and my crime never be heard
of I should well , I should rdvise the
owner to keep his stable door fastened.
Of course this is not for publication
for if such candiJ talk got into print
my congregation in Ohio would say I
t
* f - . - 'iff > B
was lacking in orthodoxy and tho tegu
lar clerical dignity. You must recol-
loct that clorgymon whilo away from
homo do not as a rulo act as dignified- ,
ly as when they nro in thoir parish ,
and I am no oxcoptiou to tho rule.
Willy Ysnderbllt'rt Uoir nlth UN Cher. i
Announcement of tho row botwoon 1
William K. Vandorbilt and his $10,000
chef is tho sensation of the hour and ,
society Is very much Intorostod and
amused , says tho Nowport correspond- <
ont of tho Now York Horald. . •
Whether tho chof , Mr. Josoph , was *
discharged , orwhothor ho discharged '
Mr. Vandorbilt , is not definitely known ,
but certain it is that tho rupture is Ir- '
ropar.iblo and that M. ot Mmo. Diignlol |
will sail for Europo Wednesday , going i % / 1
directly to Paris. ' ' ,
Tho troublo arose ovor a pair of par- j
tridges. *
Toujours pordrix novor falls to causo : '
troublo In oven tho best-regulated fam- ' 1
ilies and tho Vanderbllt's are not ex
empt from tho common woes of human- Ii
ity. These partridge ; * woro nerved in 1 !
a mannor that did not suit Mrs. Van- j'
dorbilt j
"Take thom away , " she said to tho /
butler. "They aro not good. " *
"Bog parding , mum , " said that !
functionary , after a moment's absence ,
and returning with his noso at a high (
anglo over tho derelict birds , "but
Mooseor Josoph says has tho birds his '
perfect" |
"Then tell him thoyaro not porfectly
cooked , and keep them out of tho
room ! "
"Very good , mum , " and returning
again. "Hcg parding , mum , but j
mooscer says ' 0 knows 'ow to cook. " (
Mr. Vandorbilt , it is said , now inter
fered , with tho painful result already I
'
mentioned , paid off his chof , and in his ,
best French said : "Bid mo goodby I
and go. " )
M. Dagniol went. ,
I found tho deposed Frenchman at I
Pinard's this ovoning. where ho was 1
lotting his pot of grievances simmer all
over tho place. I tried to skim him ,
'
but ho was too angry to talk intelligible
English and wjis too unnerved at his <
fall to speak crediblo French. .
"Ah , moil , Dion ! I have zeo roputa-
tion to composo los menus los plus
recherches in Paris. Vas it for zis j'ai
quitte la bello France and le cafe Maire ?
Arc nom do num de 110m de uom d'unc
pipe ! Bats , alors ! <
"Mais , " pulling himself togother , \
"vat you vill viz me ? You vill mo in- 1
terviow ? Que voulo/.vous que jo vous '
disc ? Allez done. Vous autrcs mil- j
lionaires Amoricians , vous ne savepas ,
distinguer entrc un vrai supremo de [
valaiile ot votro sacre pork and I
beans.
"Ouah ! A has la grade cuisine en I
Amerique ! Jo pars pour noble patrie. " |
Something like a bitter Gallic tear 4 )
here glistened in M. Dagniol1 s eye , l
and I gavo tho interview up as a bad
job. after timidly suggesting to tho de- ' ,
throned monarch that some of tho New '
York clubs wero awfully in need of just /
such a cook as he seemed to be.
"Trop tard , mon ami ; mon camr '
cuisinierest 'braise. 1" /
Tlie Dipper. I
If a number of dippers could bo ;
started from the head of the water '
shed any given of area , tracing tho tj
brooks and streams from source to <
mouth , they would register a perfect
chart of the w.iterways of the district. j
For it is a characteristic that , however
sinuously the stream may wind and , '
doublo on itself , these the dipper '
closely follows , never skirting the land
to make short flights. Even if ono bo
fishing or boating on the stream , the 1
bird only rises higher , but allows no ,
obstacle to bar its course. The dipper
is perhapsthe most essentially water ' ,
bird we have even more so than the 1
so called water fowl. It seems so com- '
pletely a part and parcel of tho stream ,
it inhabits that one might almost sug
gest its origin from tho streams them-
selves from the bubbles or the spray.
Moro frequently than not the nest is
placed immediately beneath a water- {
fall and the young birds get their first '
peep of the world without through a j
spray shower of water crystals. Their
green mossy home conforms marvel- '
ously to the dripping rock against i\ \
which it is placed so much so that
only a trained eye can detect it The '
dipper is an early breeder , in some |
years commencing its nest in January
and having its five foam white
eggs by the end of tho follow- '
ing month. There has been an onzel's 1
nest by the White Water rocks time out .
of mind. Every spring , when the first
willow wren's call comes up from the '
woods , we make a pilgrimage to visit ,
it So soon as we are near enough to
hear the rush of water over the falls , i
so soon do we catch the wonderously - * i
joyous strains of the brook birds. It "J
seems that the more white water is fall- 1
ing the louder they sing ; and often \
when from the bird's bill we have seen •
that it was singing , the song h is been .
completely drowned by the rush of the
water. But the nest ! It has been
against the dripping linchened rock
since first we could reach up to it It
is ono of the marvels of bird architect
ure so fresh , so crisp , so cunningly I
woven and yet so much in keeping with \
Lhe spirit of the bird. It is quite a foot '
in diameter , round and bossy in out- 1
line , with a neat hole in the side and J
wholly composed of tho freshest green /
moss. Standing by , one is ' soon
Irenched through by the falling spray ,
which makes a miniature rainbow '
igainst tho sun. It is here that the 1
i-oung dippers first begin life , and a
fairy spot it is. They soon learn to
love the white foam and the torrent
md a few days after they leave the 4
lest may bo seen wading among tho j
shallows , or occasionally disappearing j
: n the desps. From the- they emerge , :
; he golden water trickling from their 1
jacks , but seldom without some soft |
jodied thing from among the pebbles. /
Sylvan Folk.
Sometimes Ton Can't Always Tell. '
A Wise Man says : "A young man !
ised hardly and roughiy will be a ' .
: ougher man in the end. He will go 1
nto the fire iron and come out steel. " j
That depends a great deal on whether j
ic does or not And that , again , de-
sends largely on what the young man (
s when he goes in. If he is simply (
jasswood , and the very best quality of J
Dasswood at that , when he goes in , he (
joes in for good. He doesn't come out (
inything. I don 't know where he goes , j
mt he doesn't come out again. It I
von't do to put all young men into the \
ire. Unless the tempering process be
: onsidered a good way to get rid of *
; hcm And then when 3011 put tho '
roung man of iron into tho fire you I
lon 't want to keep him there too long ,
> r you 'll spoil him. Iron will burn as ' | I
well as basswood , if you keep it on the h
Ire long enough. "How long shall * \
, -ou keep him in then ? " Oh , bless f'
rou : how do I know ? Ask the Wise \j
Man , he began it. Burdette. r
'
Rabbits are mercenary ; when one mar- 1.
• ies he is sure of taking aharess. Yoakera c
Gazette. j
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