GOTHAMS LOVELY LASSIES ,
Why fifty Thousand Bachelors
are Afraid to Tackle Them.
fisions of Loveliness Returning : from
the Seaside and the Mountains-
) nce More Bowilderinjr the Broadway
Dudes aud Smilm ? Sweetly on tho
Boys ,
ffho Say they are "Eleeant to Call Upon , Tip-
Top to KO the Theatre With , "
?
- ' fFlrst-Class to Spend Money On , But
f How Can We Harry Them and Still Live ?
i
Special Correspondence.
NEW YORK , Sept , 25,18S5.
"Hello , Cholly , how are you ? See you got
Jack from the beauties of Saratoga , Catskill ,
rtc.rlgbt B de up with care. "
"Yes , Spirto , got back. Hang Saratoga and
She balance. I'm t.red of it all. It's an in-
Jernal bore , all the whole business , and I'm
ill broke up. "
"Lost your heart , evidently , this season.
Who's the fair one ? Might as well confess. "
'Yes , lost ifragain. and this time for keeps ,
ind my head and peace of mind as well. "
"What's the row ? Can't you get the lady's
leart in return ? "
"I've got It , and there's where the trouble
mea in. If I hadn't got it , and knew T
fouldn't get consent , it wouldn't be so bad.
/ou see 1 can't possibly marry , couldn't think
rf it for a minute on my income , and there's
lo prospect of an increase that I can see , so
. Pm In a fix. "
"What is your income ? "
"Well , about § 2,500 per anura , at present. "
"Marry the girl. "
"What ! Do you really mean to advise a man
! o marry on such an income 1 "Why , it wouldn't
nore than pay rent for the apartments my
jirl would want to live in. Do you know
vhat it costs to get married and live in New
fork in any sort of shape , and with , any sort
) f a stylish girl. It can't be done on less than
15,000 a year , and if you havn't got that much
it least , the old man wouldn't think of it ,
sven if the girl would , which is very doubtful.
! fo siree , no marry for me on $2,50J per year ,
y > t if I konw It. Now If you really want to
"NO MAKKr FOR ME. "
mow something about the geography of mar-
ded life in New York City just look around
unong your friends and see how few of the
wysget married , and the number is decreasing
( very year , too. I tell you it is a dangerous
hlnc to marry nowadays in this city , and the
K > ys know it by heart Tnere's it lea- fifty
housand of them that havn't married and
tever expect to , in this city alone , and I am
me of the unhappy band. So long , there's
iliss Carrie R , just retunned from Newport ,
ind I want to see her. See you later. "
And as Iliss Carrie R. , connected with some
if the best revolutionary blood of Gotham ,
owed sweetly , he joined her and they walked
ip Broadway. Miss Carrie was certainly a
MISS CARRIE E.
stylish and handsome younjj lady , and as they
walked away I couldn't help thinking of the
graceful SWJHEJ she gave her body , and the
aeat fitting dress which she managed with so
much finesse that it seemed born a part of her ,
Sited backward and forward , swung from side
X ) side , clnnir lovingly round her aristocratic
jraist , and jealously nld from sight everything
but the tips of her evidently eight or ten dol
lar boots.
What did her get-up cost ? How much did
her guardian angel , otherwise her well-to-do
ancle , lay out on that swing of her dress !
Evidently it was ga'ned only through a lone :
series of seasons at different watering places ,
end high-priced ones , as you don't find just
that peculiar undulation at any second-rate
hotels , and it cannot bs learned in a single
season. That swing alone is evidence of an
expenditure of at least five thousand dollars
at nigh priced watering places. . Her hat must
have cost somethinz like $25 , at a low esti
mate , and sir in a season is none too many.
KII gloves run about four pairs per month.
Dresses , well , heaven and the wearer only
knows what they cost , to say nothing of the
numerous unmentionables not visible to the
outward gaze but nevertheless there , and
probably costly , provided one conld judge the
Inside from the out. And so a young man
with an income of $500 per year couldn't
think of marrying a lady brought up in this
way , and she wouldn't think of marrymghim.
First class to talk to , splendid waltzer , jnst
the sort of a fellow to meet at a summer re
sort where youns men were scarce , nice to
talk sentiment to nnder the summer stars-
Tint to marry what an Idea , and the old uncle
would swear in seven languages if he thought
Ms ward had any such intention , but she
hadn't
Can It be possible that there are fifty thous
and bachelors in New York City bachelors of
marriageable age who expect to remain so
through life. It is undoubtedly so , and this.
too , in spite of the fact that the ladies out
number the men two to one at almost all the
summer resorts , and that oar streets arefairly
crowded and jammed every Saturday after
noon , especially Broadway and Fifth Avenue ,
with throngs of the most stvlish , good look
ing and generally admitted heart breakers in
the land. What "is the matter with the boys ?
"Why is it that there is apartment building af
ter apartment building fitted up exclusively
for men , and no ladies admittedwhile every
prominent flat building In the city , like the
Dakota , the Chelsea , the Valencia , etc. . etc. ,
all have their suits of rooms known as "bach
elor apartments , " and well filled with jolly
single gentlemen of marriageable age who
lavu't any more idea of marrying in this life
than they have of swingins golden harps In
Ihe next men who enjoy life for all there is
in It generally men who'have made their pile ,
and have enough to marry on If they ' so de-
Ired men who belong to the Unlon'Leas ie
and other clubs , and men who have become
Bedded to a life of celibacy through what ?
1 Through the generally believed and growing
opinion that a man "without considerable
1' . '
money fo back up the experiment has no
business to marrv and attempt to live lu New
York city that the man who docs do so puts a
millstone around his neck that will eventually
"
sink him in the slough of despond , hold hi"
nose to the grindstone through tue balance o :
life , dress the woman he loves in shabby
clothes , and bring up his children in pinched
circumstances and among unfavorable sur
roundings.
"Sam , why Is it that you have never mar
ried ? "
Sam Tbaxman , a jolly bachelor of some
forty well spent winters , a member of tue
Lotus Club , aud who is abundantly able now
to marry , having grown grey in the service of
the ladies of his acquaintance , had stopped ir.
front of me on the corner of Twenty-Third
street and Broadway , in front of the Fifth
Avenue Hotel , the general loafing place of the
swell dandles who wish to ogle ttie ladies as
they pass , for here Broadviar crosses Fifth
Avenue , and if a man will only linger there
long enough he will meet all the friends he has
in the city , since all who are able to walk pass
this spot at least once a week.
"That's a funnv qutslion and demands a
serious answer. 1 never found a girl whose
nose just suited me. "
"Pshaw. What is the reason , seriously
speaking ? "
"Well , seriously speaking , the same thing
that keeps the boys generally from marrying
a wholesome fear of the hereafter.
"Explain yourself. "
"Stand here with me a minute , watch tho
ladies that pass by , and listen to what I have
to say to some of them whom I know. You
know I am a prlvilesed character , and they
won't take offense If 1 ask questions. You see
that lady coming across the Avenue , I mean
that elderly maiden lady , with the enormous ,
hat and military looking suit. That's the lady
1 rent my apartments f torn. She belong to the
past tense , as the boys say , and will never see
the sunny side ot forty again. She's as prim as
they make 'em , and as proud as Lucifer before
he fell liko the snowflake. Here ske is , and
I'm going to astonish her.
"Bung Jure , Madain Juvce. May I ask you
a question on an important matter for theben-
efic of mv friend ? "
"Bon Jour , Mcestair Thaxman. Certainlee ,
ce'rtainlee. "
"Mudam Juvee , what would you require in
a husband ? "
"MON DEETj ! MEESTAIRE THAXMAN. "
"Mon Dieu , Mistaire Tbaxman. Tell youwh
frien' zat I wouldna' marrce ze bes' man zat
leeves in ze worrl. "
And with a sarcastic glance at me she passed
by like an insulted tornado.
"Whew , good heavens , she thought you
wanted to marry her and refused. Ha , ha , ha ,
that's a good one , a'n't ' it. Ha , bn , ha , ha , "
and he laughed until I ceuld have forsworn his
friendship forever.
"Well , the next one you tackle , jus'
me out , if you pleaseand peihap * > < > i
eetmore information'and have less so .1
my expense. "
"I'll do it , and here comes the very lau. . .M
want to see. She's as winning and prett'i us
can be found in Gotham , spent this summer in
the Adirondacks , and will break your heart In
three evenings , if she wants to. What she will
have to say about wedded bliss will be enter
taining. "
"Why , Mr. Thaxman , hovr do you do. I
havn't seen you for ! > n ase. I thought you
promised to come up iu the mountains " efore
we left. "
"So I did , Miss Catlin , but the fact is that I
am no longer a fiee man , andhavn'tbeeu since
sprintr. I'm engaged. "
"Engaged , Mr. Thaxman : Why didn't you
give me a chance. "Who is it ? I'm dying
to know who's going to get married.
Havn't had an invitation to a wedding { this
summer. "
"WHO IS IT ? l'3I DYING TO KNOW. " I
"Why don't you fiet up one on your own ac
count , Miss Catlin ? Can't you find the right
one ? "
"Oh , my , ye ? . I found a dozen of the right
ones this summer , but I couldn't marry all
of them you know , and so here I am , still in
the market , and autumn is here , too. Well.
I suppose I'll have to wait till your fiancee
quarrels with you and then fall back on you ,
after all , " with a roguish twinkle in her eyes.
"What kind of a man do-you want , Miss
Catlin , anyhow , and what do you expect to
mirry : him for , if I may ask ? "
"For love , Mr. Thaxman , pure , unadultera
ted love , and I want a man that I can really
love , and waste my affect'ou on. A real , live
man , too. None of your Jim dandies that
loaf about street corners , carry silver headed
canes , and look like golden calves or brazen
Images. "
"so you really would marry for love alone. "
"Yes. Every time. "
"But , suppose the gentleman was poor. "
"My dear Mr. Thaxman , I'm certainly going
to marry for love if I ever marry at all , but ,
well to be candid with you I don't think J
could love a poor man. Cbrne up to-morrow
evening and tell me all about your engage
ment , won't you ; and now farewell till E see
you asrain , " and with the sweetest of smiles
she tripped gaily away up the Avenue.
"She's right. She's no business to marry a
poor man. She'd break her heart iu a year if
she couldn't have what she wanted , and that's
the trouble w.th most of them , " said Sam.
"Her father is a broker who once had consid
erable monov , but 1 guess most of it is spent ,
or soon will be , for he's a riskv speculator , and
has made some bad breaks in the market late
ly. However , here comes a young ladv of a
different stamp. I'll explain before she ar
rives that this girl is an organist , or rather
has been an organist and is now a music
teacher. If she got away for two weeks this
summer , and took it out at Aslibury Park , it
i ? probably all the vacation she had. Just for
curiosity I myself would like to know what
her ideas of matrimony are. "
"Good morning , Miss Linton. I haven't
seen von all summer. Where have you been
putting In the time , may I inquire ? "
"Mr. Thaxman , good morning. Real glad
to see you. As to putting in tme : this suin-
mer , why I've had an elegant time at Sarato
ga , Newport , and In August we went to Cape
Mry but my name Isn't i Miss Linton. I've
"langedit , yon see. "
"Married , Miss Linton , orMrs.-
"MY NAME ISN'T MISS LINTON. '
"Ye , Mr. . Thaxman , married , and Mr. anc
Mrs. Devlin'wlll be pleased to see you at the
WindsorHotel anv time youmny wish to call
You see , George"that's Mr. D. , is building a
aew house on the Avenue , ana it Is so very
elegant that it will taku several months to
complete it. We're going lo furnish it from
Paris direct , and qu te up to the latest de
signs. "
"Allow me to congratulate you , Mrs Devlin ,
on your marriage ; but It surely cannot be
George Devlin , the retired mercnant , that Is
vour husband. "
"It jnst is , though , and we would like to see
you very much. Call when you can , Mr.
Thaxman , and good-bye" and the visitor van
ished up Broadway. /
"Well , well , well. So poor old Devlin , who
retired so long ago that the street has forgot
ten him completely , has married this young
lady of twenty five or six. "Why , he must be
at least seventy-five or eighty , and I haven'l
heard of him before in five years. Got lots oJ
money , thouch. Do you wonder that I am
single after this , and that I don't marry. I've
seen this th-ng of money , position , blood , an
cestry , and "pure , unadulterated loVe" for
twenty years , and it is celling worse ever ;
year. " I tell you the reason I rever marriec
and never will marry can be summed up in a
few words : I never found a girl with a nose
just to suit me. Good morning , " and he
passed away , striking the ground viciously
with his rattan cane as he walked.
Pondering deeply on what had passed , ]
walked slowly home and met Kitty Wayland
just entering the dcor. Kitty Is a niece of the
lady of the house , aud a great favorite with
the boarders. She was just returning from a
trip to the country. Fresh air would give
her fresh ideas , parhaps , and besides she
wasn't over sixteen
"Kitty , what is your idea of married lifel
Give a serious answer , for I'm puzzled. "
"Good gracious , you aren't going to propose
I hope. "
"GOOD GKACIOUS ! YOU AREN'T GOING
TO PHOPOSE ! "
"No , Kitty , cot to-day. But what do you
mow about nroposing , anyway ? "
"Well , I just know this much , that the man
who proposes to me and expects to get me will
late to have a pretty > oid ! bank account , for
[ 'm goins to live in one of the handsomest
lats in this city ' when I marry , and keep up
with the best o'f them. "
"Wouldn't you marry a poor man if you
toyed him , Kitty , and be satisfied with a
small apartment over in Jersey City ? "
"I wouldn't marrv the best man living If he
hadn't money , and I wouldn't live In Jersey
City if they'd give me the whole place. You
don't think I'm going to marry and be a
maid of all work , do you , just to please some
man. "
" those irrevocable senti
"Kitty , are your
ments ? "
"They certainly are , so if you've got any
poor young man picked out for me , bring him
iround and I'll give him the grand bounce to
night before It goes any'farther. I believe In
nipping these things in the bud. Ta , ta , and
don't forget to bring him around soon , " and
she skipped up stairs.
Ihe problem of mating the bachelors and
: he maidens still remains unsolved.
SPIRTO GESTIL.
A Cruel Deception.
Colonel Trover , of Hyde Park , tells
a good one at the expense of his wife's
mother , who is sojourning with him.
A lady called upon his wife one day
last week , aud alter swapping tho
usual gossip about the trouble with
hired girls and the amount of paradise
represented by tho fall bonnet , the
hostess invited her guest to take a
glass of wine. She consented , and
the Colonel's wife went out to get the
nectar , to the great delight of her
mother , who has an exceedingly good
lip for the "rosy. "
She found a bottle in tlie refrigera
tor , but to her chagrin it only contain
ed ahout one good square drink , and
she could not lind the key to the wine
clo et.
What to do she didn't know for a
minute or two , hut her woman's wit
finally came to the rescue , and she
was saved from embarrassment.
Pouring the wine into a glass for her
guest-she loaded a couple of others to
the muzzle with cold coffee for her
self and mother , and so placed them
on the tray that there could be no mis
take in delivery.
When the tray was passed to the
mother-in-law she reached over ab
stractedly and picked up tho glass of
deception prepared for her , without a
thought of the cruel disappointment
in store. Raising her eyes to heaven as
she dropped into that beatific state of
mind to which the old toper is exalted
whenever he finds himself about to
crook his elbow to some purpose , she
brought the glass to her lips , took a
sip , and immediately felt as though
she had dropped from the clouds and
landed in a blackberry patch.
Trover's wife says the expression
that came out on the face of her de
luded parent , when the chilling truth
burst upon her , was a sight that would
have made the gods weep. Chicago
Ledger.
JAPAJT TO-DAY.
Ex-Minister Blnglmm's Account of Ui
Condition of Affairs iu that Empire.
From the San Francisco Chronicle.
After an almost unbroken residence
hi Japan for nearly thirteen years
John A. Bingham of Ohio , ex-Minister
for the United States to the imperial
court at Tokio , has arrived in San
Francisco' on his way home. He has
been relieved by Minister Hubbard
Mr. Bingham's last duty in Japan be
ing to induct his successor into his
office and present him to the Emperor
Ex-Minister Bingham arrived by the
Rio de Janeiro , and spoke most freely
and entertainingly on a variety o
Japanese topics.
"Japan's progress , " said the ex-
Minister , "has been simply marvel
lous. When the present Emperor
came to the throne sixteen years ago
the country was governed and grounc
down by the Daimios , who were noth
ing more nor less than feudal lords
ruling their serfs with rods of iron
and imposing on them a military duty
which they turned to quarrelsomeanc
robbing account. At one blo\y tho
Emperor swept away this Orienta
counterpart of European medioevalism
and Japan leaped at a bound from
the sixteenth to the nineteenth cen
tury. "
"How was this wonder brought
about ? "
"I shall make the same answer to
you , sir , that I have before made to
a similar question , " replied the ex-
Minister. "It was accomplished be
cause the people believe that the Em
peror is just what his name signifies ,
'Tenno , ' the 'Son of heaven. ' All the
traditions of the country pointsto
this , the beliefs of the people went that
way , the astonishing wisdom of the
youth he was but sixteen at the time
of his succession confirmed the belief ,
and against what he did and ordered
there is no resistance. Thus the Ten-
no was able to accomplish impossibil
ities , or what would be impossibilities
with another monarch. At present the
Japanese are enjoying the fruits of the
new order of things , and as one exam
ple of the unusual blessings which tho
people enjoy I may mention this , that
in the Island of Nippon alone , with an
area greater and a population equal to
that of England , there are more small
landholders than there are in the'right
little , tight little island. ' "
"Then Japan is a free country ? " we
asked.
"Yes , and no , " was tho response.
"The people enjoy many of the bless
ings of free .men , out the empire itself
is largely under foreign control. Three
European States , England , Prance ,
and Holland , but England first and
principally , are the masters of Japan's
foreign policy. To an extent of which
this country has scarcely an idea ,
Japan is ruled by Europe. The Em
peror is bound down by treaties by
which England gains almost every
thing and Japan gains almost nothing.
With a Privy Council that feels the
weight of the European finger in every
thing it does , constantly menaced by
the gunboat policy , and with customs
duties so minimized that they are not
enough to pay the expenses of the de
partment , Japan is by no means free ,
and is not likely to be so without a lit
tle vigorous aid from us. Some time
or other the United States will see the
riches that lie in Japan ; will see , for in
stance , that together they might rule
the silk market of the world. It is
true our commerce with Japan has
risen from thousands of dollars to
millions , but the existing trade is
nothing to what it should be is only
an indication of what it might be. The
fact is , the commerce of the Pacific is
not yet appreciated by the American
people , and , mark my words , some fine
year , when Europe is at peace and is
rolling in rich harvests , the United
States will look longingly to the great
countries of the Orient to relieve her of
her surplus. "
Opposed to Bathing1.
From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
He had laid down a package which
he had just finished tying up , and
wiped his hand with the front of his
vest. He stood behind the counter of
a South Side grocery store. His face
was broad and red , and overflown
with good nature and perspiration.
He looked as though he might weigh
two hundred.
"So you would like to see a man
who is opposed to bathing would you ?
Well , here he is ; take a good look at
him. He is never sick and never had
a cold. "
"You don't look as though you
would go into a rapid decline soon. "
"No ; and I don't feel like it. I am
45 years old and weigh 195 pounds.
I am opposed to bathing. If a man
wants to open up thepores of his skin
once or twice a week and lay himself
open to the attacks of disease , let him
do it. "
"How long ago did you discover this
principle of hygiene ? "
"If you mean when did I stop bath
ing about ten years ago. Not entirely
mind you. I take alight invigorator
Lwice a year , just to keep my skin
fresh you know. May be this is too
often , but I find it atnees with me best.
I get into a tub on the first of January
and again on the 4th of July. Now
you ate laughing , butremember.young
man , I am older than you and have
bad more experience. Did you ever
see a cow bathe ? No , I thought not.
A cow refrains from bathing by in
stinct , yeo they are as clean an animal
as lives. I merely take a rough towel
every night and rub myself down and
change my clothes often. If the chol
era starts here this season I think I.
can defy it. I never had a contagious
disease in my life , yet I have attended
to people who had small-poxand have
been among contagious diseases of all
kinds. "
Dr. de la Granja , who has worked official-
y on throyal cholera commission in
Spain , says the mortality has been Rreitly
underestimated , and that there will be no
abatement of the disease until the cooler
weather ol December ,
.THEIDES OFMAKCH.
It was the 15 of March and aprema
turo equinoctial raged throughout the
city streets. A young man who hac
jusfc seated himself at his breakfast
when some fond recollection stole over
him which led him to investigate the
weather. He went to the window ant
gazed at the storm wfth ever-increas
ing dismay.
"Great Scott ! " he ejaculated , "here's
a pretty mess. " He scanned the
heavens in all directions , but the out
look was hopeless. Catching up the
Herald he eagerly sought for Old Prob's
views on the subject. But the clerk o
the weather was way off. Old Prob
said "clear and cold. " With a sniff o
contempt at such prognostications
he laid down the paper and devotee
himself to his breakfast.
The door presently opened and ad
mitted a small , crisp old gentleman
as blooming as a May morning in spite
of his G5 years.
"Morning , Richard , " said he
"Morning. "
"Seasonable weather , eh , Richard ?
Something electric in a day like this
sends the blood tingling through yonr
veins , and so on. Well , what's the
news war declared ? Pass me that
paper , Dick. " '
The old gentleman's cheerfulness was
singularly offensive to Richard con
sidering his ownlowstatesohehastily
swallowed his breakfast and stragglec
down to business , mumbling unpleas
ant things about the leather all the
way. Martin Davenport , Dick's
uncle , was an importer of woods for
household interiors. Ho was wealthy
and a bachelor. If one was to believe
all he said he detested women , ant
daily declared that if Dick ever mar
ried he must say good-by to his uncle
Richard was his bookkeeper on a
slender salary ( lest he should be led in
to temptation , ) and in love with the
dearest girl in the world. He hadn't
told her so because , all things con
sidered , it was useless. His uncle en
joyed rude health , so there were slim
possibilities in that direction.
The fact that connubial bliss was at
present out of the question was the
immediate cause of his perturbed
spirit. At this very moment he was
pacing the office floor in rage. Hehad
invited his fairest fair to accompany
him to the play of "Julius Ccesar , " at
Booth's Theater. The tickets were
purchased days since. Dick pulled
them from his pocket as if hopingsome
miracle had changed the date. But
no ; March 15 , in clearest type , met his
despairing gaze. He groaned aloud.
"What the devil's the matter with
you , Dick ? " said his uncle who had
just dried his feet and was preparing
for his morning work.
The wild idea of throwinghimself up
on his uncle's mercy crossed his mind ,
and without thinking of the possibility
of being ridiculed , heexclaimed , "Uncle ,
I'm in a box. "
"Box ! What kind ? Now don't say
financial Richard ; it's no good , " and
the old gentleman chuckled , gleefully.
"You see , it's like this , Uncle Mar
tin , " Richard went on , not as glibly as
he could have wished. "I've asked a
young lady to go to the theater to
night , and it's raining great guns.
"Well ? "
"Shelives in Brooklyn. Storms , you
know , and I ought to take a carriage.
To hire a carriage to go over there ,
and then to wait for us and all that ,
would take a lot of money , and I'm
strapped. Had money enough yester
day , but I forgot all about to-night's
engagement and paid a bill , and this
miserable $2 dollar bill is every bless
ed cent I've got. What shall I do ,
Uncle ? "
"Beware of the ides of March , Rich
ard , " chuckled the old gentleman , and
he turned his back to the wretched
young man and occupied himself with
the mail.
Dick felt suicidal. He might send
word that sudden illness prevented
him , etc. , but she probably wouldn't
believe it. He plunged his hands into
the depths of his trousers pockets , he
stared out at the rain imploringly and
defiantly by turns , as if he could influ
ence the elements by one expression or
the other.
Finally in despair he was about to
go to work when a messenger boy
brought him a letter , the reading of
which caused a grin of delight to creep
over his handsome face. He heaved a
tremendous sigh of relief , and mur
mured : "That was a close shave ! "
At this point Mr. Mar tin Davenport
threw down his letters , exclaiming :
"What are you up to now , Dick ?
How's a man to read with you snort
ing like a steam engine ? "
Dick Davenport's soul was simply
overflowing with gratitude , and he was
ready to pour forth the sequel of his
recent woe , so he exclaimed impulsive
ly :
"Such luck ! I've a letter from the
younclady. You know "
"What young lady ? "
"Why the young lady I asked to go
to Booth's to-night. "
"Death in the family and begs to
be excused ? You're in clover , Dick. "
"Oh ! no , uncle , it's but , here , you
read it. "
With a very wry countenance the
old gentleman gingerly took the mis
sive and read :
"Dear Mr. Davenport : In consequence
of the rain , which I do not wish to deprive
me of the pleasure of this evening's engage
ment with you , -write this to tell you that
I will spend the night with my aunt , Mrs.
Bently , at No. West fifty-third street , and
you may call for me there. It will save
you a wet journey to Brooklyn , and will
also be much nicer about getting home.
"Don't be offended if I say my aunt's
house is so very convenient to the horse
cars that if you call for me with a carriage
I refuse to go at all. This is not a whim ,
but a principle. I hope you know me well
enough to believe that I mean precisely
what I say.
Very truly yours , ANNIE FIELDING.
"Jerusalem ! " exclaimed the old gen
tleman , as the note fluttered to the
floor. Dick had been furtively watch
ing the effect of his dear girl's letter
upon bis uncle , and when he
saw the thoughtful , softened expres- f\
sion of his countenance , fondly hopeJi
his relative , in this moment of weak
ness , would put out a twenty dollar
bill , and say : "Go it my boy ; dont
let her wet thesoles of her dainty feet.
honeyed sweetness fell
But no such
upon his ears ; nothingbut a soft , long-
drawn whistle Lsued from the old.
man's lins. , ,
"What do you think of her , uncle/
asked the young man , with an anxious
"Why she must be unusual , Bick. " : # * .
Dick went to work with a light heart , \
but the old gentleman was busied in
thought all day. He had had a new
revelation of womankind.
Bf evening the wind ceased and only
the rain fell quietly and steadily. The
young people went to the play most
prosaically in a horse car , like ordi
it not a
nary mortals , and enjoyed
whit the less. . ,
"People will think we are married ,
thought Dick , jubilantly , as with Annie
tucked under his arm ho hailed a car
for home when Julius Casar had been
properly stabbed , orated and duly
disposed of in regular style.
"How came you to write that note ,
Annie ? " asked Richard , unconsciously
usinc her Christian name.
"Well , to be candid , to take a car
riage all the way to Brooklyn and back ,
or even right hero in tho city is terri
bly expensive , and I thought it was
possible you could not afford it. Not
that I thought you absolutely hadn't
the money , you know" apologetical
ly"Oh
"Oh , of course not ! " exclaimed our y
yr
hero , with gusto. r
"Only , " she continued , "I likethings
to be consistent. And , besides , I did
want to go so badly. "
"Was that the only reason ? " anx
ious to keep her talking.
"Well" and she smiled , merrily , "per
haps I wanted to show that I was'fast
colors. ' "
Dick wanted to hug her. She was
adorable. Nothing but his impecuni-
osity restrained him from popping the
question on the spot , But , if his lips
were silent , his eyes were unquenchable ,
and she well , she was a woman , and
consequently this species of commu
nication was quite intelligible to her.
When Richard finally let himself in
to his uncle's gloomy , old-fashioned
house , he was surprised to see a light
in the old gentleman's sitting-room.
Thinking' he might be ill , he hastily
mounted the stairs and entered the
room. j
His uncle was yawning over a book ,
and on the table was a dusty bottle of
rare old wine that that was the pride
ot his life and only used on the rarest
occasions.
"What on earth are you sitting up
for , uncle ? "
"For you. What do you mean by
keeping me out of bed till this late
hour ? "
The expression on his face would
have been quite the proper thing , and
a , thing to be expected in a wife , but
in an uncle , it was so supremely ab
surd that Richard almost doubted
his uncle's sanity.
"Dick , " said the old man , solemnly ,
"this has been a devilish long evening ,
but I have stuck it out and determin
ed not to go to bed till we drank the
bride's health. "
/'What bride ? " asked Richard , con
vinced now of his uncle's delirium.
"Why , yours , " roared the old man.
"Aren't you going to marry her ? If
you don't I shall "
"But , financially , you know , " gasped
Dick , "I am not > - "
"Richard , " said his uncle , pouring
out the wine in two beautifulVenetiaii
glasses , "I resign the business to you.
To-morrow I shall retire. I expect to t
stop at home to watch the young mad
am and keep her out of mischief. "
The wine was drunk in silence except
for the usual indistinct mumbling.
The old man's eyes softened ; his
thoughts went backageneration , while
to Dick the golden fluid conjured up
visions of passionate bliss , in which a
pair of blue eyes and a golden head fig
ured extensively. When Annie Fielding
came to be mistress of the old house
she had two lovers instead of one.
Kilpatrick's Fun.
On our way to Fredericksburg , in
1802 , writes a soldier in the Missouri
Republican , we had encamped for a day
and late in the afternoon our attention
was attracted by the music of a band in
a grove only a half a mile away , which
kept playing one lively air for so long
a time that some few of us proposed
to go over and see what the fun was
about. At this time Kilpatrick was
lieutenant-colonel of the "Harris fight
cavalry , " afterward called by preju
diced infantry "Kilpatrick's thieves. "
"When we reached the grove a very
funny sight greeted us. The band was
still playing , but nearly exhausted.
Kilpatrick , elevated by standing on a
barrel head , was shouting directions
to at least 50 darkey men , women
and children , old and young who
were dancing a breakdown in true Vir
ginia style , the sweat pouring off from
them. The band leader appealed to
Kilpatrick in behalf of his windbroken
band , but in vain. "Kil" shouted
back , "Play till you wear the darkies
out , " then yelled t9 the darkies , "Keep
it up , boys and girls ; you will beat
that band sure. "
Aye , there stood the man who was
afterward celebrated in history as Gen ,
Killpatrick , the raider , prompting the
most amusing dance ever witnessed.
No modern minstrel troupe has ever
equated it. His officers were just as
he was , and one of them passed
around the hat , to which the specta
tors responded liberally ; then , just as
the band blew a last and dismal blast ,
Kilpatrick threw the contents of tho
hatiimong the contrabands. Such n ,
scene ! down on all fours , scrabbling ,
pushing , shouting and screaming , until
the last silver piece had been secured.
Kilpatrick came down from the bar
rel , and in his ever genial manner
shook hands with us , saying : "Gen
tlemen of the Gth , I am glad to see
you. You will excuse this little party ,
for it is not often that we have such >
fun , and at the same time give active V
employment to the contrabands. " v {
