LIFE'S DAT.
Into the field ot life we pass
a " At early morn. The jeweled grass
"With sunbeams kissed spreads at our fo t ;
Aud youth , like morn , all pure and sweet
And bright Is filled wiih rosy dreams ;
While in the purple heavens gleam *
Tlie star of fortune and ol fame ,
And in its ! trht we read a name
O dream , most swtet , it is our own :
More glorious still , it shines alone !
The sun speeds on ; the star no mor *
Is seen. Illus'vts dreams are o'er.
Fortune and fame so coy and fleet
But mock our weary , war-worn feet
Ambition's fairest prize has flown ;
A name appears , but not our own.
What have we then for all our pains ?
1 For all our prayers ? Are there no graina
Of good to showJ Has all been lost
In that our cherished plans arc crossed ,
And dissipated each fond dream
As snow flakes melt within the stream !
Ah , no I See how our souls are filled
With wealth of harvests we have tilled ;
With meekness , patience , love and truth ;
Blest springs of everlasting youth ;
Bright jewels ol the crown within ;
' Klpc fruit of life's sharp discipline ;
Of which there dawns tho twilight gray
Of day that dies not with the day.
George W. Crofts , in The Current.
THE YOUNG TEACHEtt.
It was the evening of the commence
ment exercises at Mrs. Weston's largo
boarding school.
All was noise and excitement. The
pupils were flying about in a flutter of
anxiety , and in various stages of in-
completed toilette.
"What have you done .with mv
flowers , Nell ? There , how provoking
You have tipped over my powder.
Your elbows are always in the wrong
place ! " quoth Miss Lydia Holcamp ,
one of the older girls , her temper get
ting the better of her. "Dear me"
There , I'm ready at last. I wonder
where that Miss Barker is. I want
her to give mo another drilling in that
recitation. I dressed early "on pur
pose , and now I suppose she will be
away prinking her dollylied self ! "
"Dear me , Lydia. you have had
more instructions on your recitation
than any of the rest have had on
theirs. I should think it would be
better to study by yourself , and let
Miss Barker have a little rest. The
poor thing is overworked. "
' 'Oil , pshaw ! " exclaimed Miss Hol
camp with a sneer-"she ; likes to show
ofl , that is all. If she didn't like it she
wouldn't be a teacher of elocution. "
Thus speaking , Lydia Holcamp de
parted to seek her instructress in elo
cution an art up.pn winch the young
lady prided herself
Lydia was especially anxious to dis
tinguish herself to-night , for the rea-
eon that among those present ohe ex
pected there would be a certain Mr.
Harry Quintard , a member of
wealthy family whom she had visited
during her vacation.
Her own father was a rich man , and
the families had always been on terms
of friendship.
Harry and his sister she knew would
conic , and failure was not to be thought
of. But '
Miss Barker's services were
not to be secured ; she was engaged
with sonic of the younger pupils.
"You can not see Miss Barker , " re
marked the preceptress. "You will
have no difficulty with your piece.
Miss Holcamp , unless you. fail to re
member certain passages. If I recol
lect correctly Miss Barker advised yon
to make sure of those points. Have
you done so ? "
"Oh ! 1 remember it perfectly ! " an
swered Miss Holcamp with conlidence.
"But I wished Miss Barker to show
me how to fall into that dramatic atti
tude which 1 like so much. "
"Think of what you are aaying Miss
Holoamp , and that will aid you to the
expression. Miss Barker can not give
all her time to one. "
Lydia went pouting away.
The evening anvanced , the guests
assembled , and at last Lydia's turn to
recite arrived.
She was a girl of most remarkable
assurance , and she went fearlessly on
untill suddenly her memory failed'her.
It was what the teachers had fear
ed.
ed.Miss
Miss Holcamp had somo ability ,
they said , but ho application. She
was no student.
She glanced helplessld toward Miss
Barker , who proniptep her. Again
she went on. Again she stopped for
want of words.
. - At last , after several promptings ,
she came to the end of her selection.
Miss Barker had retreated behind
the draperies , sore and disappointed
that one of her most promising pupils
had thus failed.
"Itwas all your fault , " burst forth
"
Lydia , "you"hateful , disagreeable
thing ! I believe you were jealous , and
meant 1 should fail , when you went
and hid yourself away with thoae
children to-night. You knew I needed
another lesson. "
The fair little teacher turned pale
and trembled. She was not accus
tomed to such language. Most of her
pupils were kind and obedient.
She was slim , and young , and pret
ty , this teacher and a great student
and worker. All the teachers respect
ed and liked her.
"You have made me fail , and I hope
I may never see your face again ! "
concluded Lydia as she flounced
away.
Just outside of the draperies stood
a handsome young man. He heard
the abuse lavished upon the young
teacher , and his lip curled.
"Who is the tall fair girl in grey ! "
he had inquired during the evening.
"Miss Barker the teacher of oloeu- >
lion , " had been the reply.
, He started.
"Is it possible ? " said he. "She ap
pears as young as the pupils. "
Not one word came from Miss
Baker's lips now , but he heard teach
ers and scholors exclaiming that ii was
a shame after the attention oho had
lavished upon Miss Holcamp during
the past term.
Mr. Harry Quintard ( for he it was
-who had overheard Miss Holcamp )
made his way to the preceptress when
the exercises"were over , and asked her
for an introduction to Miss Barker.
"Ah , vou mustn't be making love
to my pe't teacher , Mr. Quintard."said
the lady , with nu arch glance and an
admonitory tap of her fan.
Nevertheless , Mr. Harry Quintard
was presentlv seated by the side of
"pretty Misa'Barker , " as.uearly all
called her in the school.
She looked a little pale and wearied ,
and Harry noticed that her hands
trembled ,
"JNo wonder , " he thought.
"It must bo very exhausting work ,
teaching all those great girls , " ho
said. "I should dearly like to hear
yoiT recite something yourself. "
The eyes which looked into "pretty
MS3 Barker's , " were frank and ad
miring.
At this moment , his sister came up
to them. She looked cold , and drew
her brother aside. She had left Lydia ,
who had recently joined her , and
wanted her brother to come to them.
"Lyd , " said she , "is only a teacher
in the school , Hal. Come with us. "
"You will have to excuse me for
the present , " said Hal , who saw that
others were making their waj to Miss
Barker's seat , "unless you and Lydia
will join us , for I lik'e Miss Barker
very much. She is a perfect lady. "
And Hal 'kept his word. Ho kept
by the little teacher's side for the rest
of the evening , much to Lydia's cha
grin.
"Tell me , where will you spend
jour vacation ? " ho asked at parting.
She colored as she replied :
"I'm going to a vary lonely place in
the country , and shall spend the time
in working very hard. "
"But why not rest ? " he added ; "you
need rest , surely. "Tell mo then , "
he added , "where you will go , that I
may hope to see you again ? "
She shook her head.
"It is best not , " she said.
"What ! " he exclaimed ; "have i
then treated you so badly that you
will never seo'me again. "
Miss Barker's eyes fell , and again
the warm color came over cheek and
forehead.
"There is a lady who was onco very
kind to me , " she said , who lives very
humbly among the mountains'of Cum
berland , and 1 am going to spend my
summer with her. In the autumn I
hope to begin a new phase of my art.
You see I am poor , Mr. Quintard , and
depend upou my exertions for a liv
ing. "
She looked straight into her com
panion's eyes as she spoke , and Harry
Quintard read there both determina
tion and pride. The expression in
cluded something else , too. It said ,
"You know now my circumstance ,
and also that I wish you to know
them. "
Harry's eyes , however , never falter
ed beneath hers. They grew earnest
and ardent.
"Will you give me the name of the
place ? " he asked gravely , and yet in
a pleading voice. * *
She wrote the address upon a smal
card and gave it to him.
* * * * *
It was a month later that Harry
Quintard entered the parlor of one of
the most fashionable hotels in Kes-
wick. .
It was a popular resort among the
lake tourists , and to-night there was
grand reception going on.
Music and recitations were to be fol
lowed by dancing in the ballroom.
Someone was singing as he went in ,
and presently a murmur ran through
the throng as a lady , young , fair aa
the morn and graceful as a willow , was
led forward and received with a greet
ing of warm applause.
What was there about this charming
vision that sent Harry's blood tingling
through his veins with a wild pleasure-
able thrill ?
Sleeping or waking he had scarcely
onco lost his fair face from his mental
sight since last they had met.
Yet what could this mean ? This
brilliant entree among people of
wealth and position ? He had thought
again and again of their meeting. He
had fancied all kinds of rural scenes
places isolated and beautiful , yet wild
withal , with none but himself to ad
mire the charming face and form that
'
had so bewitched'him ; but to meet her
thus , surrounded by an eulogic crowd
this indeed he had never thought of.
Later he made his way to her side.
She had not forgotten him , that was
plain. Nay , more , Harry saw that the
surprise was also a pleasure.
The rosebud face with its spirituelle
light , was lifted to his , above her
raiment of pale blue , and Harry knew
that the excitement of her success
made her radiant , yet under all that
tho young man felt there lurked a
deeper pleasure at their meeting.
"I gave some recitations in the town
near wherel was stopping , " said Linda
Barker , in explanation ; "I saw tho
minister there , and he arranged to
give me the church. " The form of
tho young artist grew dignified and
jrava as she thus recorded her busi-
uesn proceedings. "The people who
beard me were so kind as to invitemo -
to rocite for them , and so it happens I
am here. I shall be kept very busy , I
trust , this summer. "
Mr. Quintard looked down in open
admiration of this darling young girl
svith her baby face.
"Ihen I am to be cheated out of
those coveted woodland rambles. I
have been counting upon them ever
since we parted. "
Linda smiled.
"If you knew my history , Mr. Quin
tard , "you would say that I was not ,
jndeo.d , born for my present surround
ings. "
They become you so well that
I could never think that , " he re
plied.
They were now away from the
crowd.
"Linda , " he said , "before I leave
you to-night I want you to promise-I
me something. I want you to
promise you will marry me in the au
tumn. " " -
"But how could that be , Mr. Quin-
turd ? Even were you not the affi
anced of another , your family would
never regard me as a suitable mate
for you. "
"Affianced to another ! " Harry was
so bewildered that he could only
repeat her words. "What do you
mean ? "
Before she could reply a voice sound
ed at their side. They had thought
themselves alone.
"Yes , Harry Quintard dare you
deny it ? " fc
Itwas Lydia Holcamp "who stood
there before them and thus accused
him.
him.Had
Had Harry Quintard not once heard
Lydia's abuse of her teacher , he
would indeed have been dumb
founded. As it was , he read tho game
in a trico.
"Yes , madam , I do deny it , " ho
ejaculated , looking Lydia straight in
the face. *
He had heard his sister say that Miss
Holcamp was sojourning in the moun
tains , but he had not troubled himself
to enquire where.
Lydia , however , was not to be thwart
ed in her purpose.
"Do you deny this , too ? " and she
coolly read a portion of a letter * con
taining vows of affection , and having
for a signature his own name.
"It is a base forgery , and yoil
know it , woman ! " cried Harry , al
most beside himself with herj
persistency. And let me tell you at |
once , before you go any further , that ;
I can very easily prove it to Miss *
Barker , if in no other way , through
my own writing. "
Ho had taken tho letter from her
hand.
"There is a very palpable difference
between this writing and my own
see ! " . i
He showed Linda one that ho took
from iiis pocket as he spoke.
Linda turned toward him a pale but
trusting face.
Ho was trembling from head to feet
with indignation. She laid her hand
on his arm and whispered :
"Corno , I believe you , " and while
thegirl's mocking laugh followed
them they left the room.
Once away from her , Harry clasped
Linda to his breast.
"Tell me , " he cried , "do you really
trust me ? Do you know that girl
fabricated that stbrv because she hates
you ? "
"And loves you , " murmured Linda ,
with downcastlids.
"And in your eyes does that excuse
her ? Tell me , do you loye me , Linda'
darling , answer me ? "
"I can not answer you until you'
hear my story , " faltered Linda , draw
ing away from him and sinking into a
seat.
She had grown pale , and her eyes
were suffused with tears.
"Hear the blunt truth. I am tho
daughter of a coal miner. "
Harry heard with profound aston
ishment , it is true , but he did not
start from her a smile , indeed , dawned
upon his face.
"Yon remind me of something
which perhaps I ought to have told
you , " he said. "My grandfather wa
a poor carpenter , my father began his
career in my grandfather's shop.
From that he became a builder , and is
now to be sure a rich contractor. So
you see I am not much in advance of
you in that respect. "
Both laughed , but Linda said :
"Ah , but with you all has been dif
ferent. You have been well educated ,
and your wealth would enable you to
make a rich match. I have "had to
earn money while striving to educate
myself. 1 worked in a factory for
t\yo .years , when father died. He was
killed in a mine , and as my mother
was also dead , I was left alone , [ had
attended the common school , and was
there encouraged to recite. 1 saved
.money and went to Manchester , and
"worked for one year in a.factory there.
While in that city I attended every
free entertainment , and studied much
at night. At last I applied for a posi
tion to teach , and secured it. Then
you met me. "
"My noble girl , " cried Harry , "I
would rather have you for my wife
to-day than any petted idle darling of
luxury that I ever heard of. "
Harry Quintard meant what he said ,
and Linda Barker knew it.
He stooped his face till his lips met
hers in a long kiss.
Thus the daughter of a miner and
the grandson of a carpenter betrothed
themselves in true modern fashion.
And among the circles of fashion
and art to-day there walks no more
perfect lady than Mrs. Harry Quintard.
Alfred Crayon.
Bill Nye and the Bronze Goddess.
I am in favor of a Statue of Liberty
Enlightening the World , because it
will show that we keep it on tap win
ter and summer. We want tho whole
broad world to remember that when
it gets tired of oppression it can come
here and oppress us. We are used to
it and we rather like it. If wo don't
like it we can get on the steamer and
go abroad , where we may visit the
effete monarchies and have a high
old time.
The sight of the Goddess of Liberty
standing there night and day , bathing
her feet in the rippling sea , will be a
good thing. It may be productive of
good in a direction that many have
not thought of. As slie stands there
day after day bathing her feet in tho
broad Atlantic , porhaps some moss
grown * Mormon moving toward the
far west , a confirmed victim of his
matrimonial habit , may fix the bright
picture on his so-called mind , and re
membering how , on his arrival in New
York , he saw Libertbathing her feot
with impunity may be led in after
" '
years to"try'it on himself. Boston
Globe.
Where the Scorpion Gets His Poison.
When he strikes you with the end of
his tail , like a wasp , he exudes a ven-
4&OUS liquid , and a man might better
hold a red-hot iron in his hand than to
get a tenth part of a drop of this
liquid into his blood. It is not neces
sarily fatal , particularly in tho Baha
mas ; but it condenses the heat of forty
furnaces. In some parts of South
America scorpion bites are frequently
fatal , but I have not heard of any one
having been killed by them in Nassau.
This is easily accounted for. The
scorpion likes to feed on decayed
wood. In South America , where dye-
woods and other poisonous woods
abound , the scorpion feeds upon them ,
and thus work into themselves a good
supply of outside poison , which , taken
together with his naturally poisonous
liquid , does its work for whoever is
unfortunate enough to be stung. But ,
in Nassau , such poisonous woods are
few , and the scorpions have to fatten
themselves respectably on pine , cedar
and mahogany. From a Nassau Let
ter.
They rocked the boat and were drowned ID
South Park Lake , Chicago. This Is certainly
dying as the fool dieth.
THE MlLTTAKr AFl'HOE.
Grant's Literary Methods and Ambitions.
The New York Commercial Advertiser
of June 9 published some interesting
gossip about Gen. Grant and his liter
ary methods. It decribes him as com
pletely dominated by tho desire to
finish his book , that he may leave it
as a legacy to his family. Ho some
times wakes up in tho night , calls for
n light , jots down some remembrance ,
and then gees to sleep again. He
sjops in tho midst of conversation to
record a reminiscence.
Once on awakening , after a dose of
morphia , and when his attandauts
thought that he'could not stand , he
walked over to a chair , sat
down , and in his delirium said , aa if
in great surprise : "Well , this is funny.
Here ate my books , papers , pictures ,
and furniture , yet I am in Illinois.
Harrison , how did I get out , here ?
Someone has brought mo here. I
wonder what for. I am away from
my book and no time should be lost in
its completion. I suppose I shall have
to make the best of""it. . But , by tho
way , Washburne and Morton are com
ing to dinner with me , and I have no
clothes on. "
"You are not in Illinois , " said one
of those present.
"That's all right ; I know what I am
doing. Can't I see the old barn ? I
know every inch of this ground. "
It was the action of a mind weighted
with one subject , and to this day the
general does not know what occurred.
Not long ago in the middle of the
njght he awoke.
"Harrison , Harrison , light the gas ! "
'he ' exclaimed.
Tho man servant did so.
"Bring me the paper and pencil. "
They were brought ; he jotted down
an idea , and then ordered tho lights
to be extinguished. Ho was recently
asked :
- "What about that story of the sur
render of Gen. Lee's sword ? "
"I didn't take his sword , " replied
tho general , "because I didn't think it
would be right. Nothing was said or
thought of it. "
"It is usual to take the sword , isn't
it ? "
"Yes : but I wouldn't do it in that
ase. "
To the writer of this artic-le the gen
eral said in the course of conversation :
"I have read a good deal in my life ,
but I know of no grander man than
Gen. llobert E. Lee. "
His usual habit is to rise early ,
breakfast at 8 o'clock , and get to work
by 9 or 9:30 o'clock. He work's steadi
ly until 12 or 1 o'clock , and then takes
luncheon. Until recently he had a
short ride in the park almost daily.
Later in the afternoon ho sometimes
works for two hours again , and some
times even at night for a little while.
r He writes in his own room , on the
Grst floor above the parlor. His writ
ing-table an ordinary card-table is
set about the middle of the room. Ho
sits with his back to the bay-window
at East Sixty-sixth street. At his right
is the bureau , and further on the fire
place. On the opposite sde is his bed.
He wears slippers , vest , trousers , and
dressing-gown. On his head he has a
black sLk cap , or a mixed worsted
one , as ho is subject to attacts of
neuralgia. He uses a large , old-
fashioned pair of hard rubber spec
tacles. He generally writes with a
lead pencil on common manilla paper.
The general composes with great
rapidit } ' , and but seldom interlines.
\Vhen trying to express an idea just
right he often gets up and walks
around the room , although his locomo
tion is strained and slow , his leg still
being lame. It is thought by some
that the leg which was injured when
he fell on the slippery pavement was
broken and wrongly set.
In an adjoining room there is a steno
grapher , to whom , when tho general
wishes to record an idea quickly , he
dictates , the stenographer taken it
down. When dictating the general
talks very rapidly , but tho swelling on :
the neck is so large that it interferes
considerably with the clearness and
distinctness of his speech.
The general keeps by his side many
records from the war department at
Washington , and in handling them ;
Col. Fred is of great service to his
father. The general has a great deal
of confidence in the ability of the colo
nel. Ho said some time ago : "For
an ordinary looking man Fred is tho
best informed , particularly on mili
tary subjects , I ever saw. When he
was in Europe he
showed a great ac
quaintance with the history of the
countries we visited. "
It was particularly unfortunate , says
the writer , that Gen. Badeau , when
Gen. Grant was thought to be dying ,
should have allowed the impression to
exist that he , in great part , was the
author of the book. The family was
incensed at the report. Col. Fred
Grant showed the manuscript to a
Friend familiar with Gen. Grant's writ
ing , and asked whoso it was. The
jrenllernan quickly responded : "It is
Gen. Grant's. " It is a significant fact
that nothing mere is to be heard from
Ren. Badeau. He has left the house ,
bag and baggage , and has not been in
it for some time.
When the book was completed Gen.
Grant was much delighted. He took
it to Mrs. Grant , and said :
"Here is your book. It's all done ,
[ t's the only legacy I have to leave
you or my family. " ;
He invariably refers to the book
now as Mrs. Grant's. Tho first vol
ume of the book will appear in Decem
ber , tho second in March. It has al
ready over three hundred thousand
subscribers , which insures a handsome
income to the family.
Thirty shaves for twelve cents is the ordinary
timber's rale in India. Time is not mouev in
that country , evidently. But then , the bar
bers there don't have to converse in three or ,
four different languages and arc apt to wear
11 tie else than exceedingly brief Oscar Wilde
trousers and bugs. Their rates are about aa
much too low as ours here are too high.
Peck's Sun.
The flrst monkey ever born in this country
first saw the light of day in New York Satur-
3ay. The only event of a similar nature was
the birth a year or. so ago of tome Manoziques
In the Cincinnati zoological gardens. The
mother of the new arrival was brought from
Calcutta bj a sailor last fall.
Pith and Point.
The man who fails for a million dol
lars must command respect.
New York has received as many aa
1,000UOO hananas per day. That is aa
good as 500,000 slip-ups.
Perry Davis is an inmate of a west
ern county house , but of an eastern
tomb which'cost $8,000.
It may do for theologians to call it
"Sheol , " but the old term is good
enough for most of us in tho usual
daily walks of life.
No sooner did a real Boston girl re
move to Chicago to reside than she
dated her letters from "Chicago-by-
the-Lake. "
It was a Nashville cook tiiis time
who mistook arsenic for baking pow
der. Of course she kept them side by
side on tho shelf.
The consumption' ' of beer has in
creased by 58.000,000 gallons in one
year. Somebody's head must be get
ting used to the motion.
Ten yards of flirtation and n bushel
of gush are mentioned by tho Boston
Globe as a full seaside outfit for tho
average young lady.
England's big cannon booms a
charge of almost GOO pounds of powder
at once. Such spendthrift habits
should not be encouraged in a gun.
It has been satisfactorily settled
that a yachtsman need not know how
to sail a yacht. All that is needed is a
uniform and a roll to his gait.
This country imported about 18,000-
000 bottles of wine last year and con
sumed 29,000,000. Nobody got hold
of a bottle that wasn't "imported. "
New Hampshire could put about
800 militia in the field if occasion de
manded , but they would have to carry
pitchforks and wear their every-day
clothes.
They keep finding Indictments
against Ferd. Ward , but after a man
has been drowned fifteen or twenty
times it's no use to pour more water
over him.
Tho New York Evening Post gives
up the fight at last and says : "Tho
time has arrived for bidding farewell
in these columns to Keelv and his
'motor. ' "
Apples are getting large enough to
twist a boy of 10 out of bed and half
way down stairs at every grip , and
the opportunity should not be lost by
a single youth.
If it can on the one hand bo called
"cholera infantuni , " why can't it on
the other hand be referred to as "chol
era adultum ? " The infants shouldn't
have all the advantage.
It is believed that if Miss Dudley is
kept in prison much longer she will bo
driven to write poetry , and for this
reason many influential people are
moving to have her released.
A St. Louis woman was spit on from
a third-story window by a boy anil
she has sued the lad's employer for
85,000 damages. The defense will bo
" . "
"contributory negligence.
Eighty-two per cent of all the fires
occurring in New York city are traced
directly to carelessness. It's no won
der an overworked reporter slips his
grammar now and then.
A chap in Arizona has improved on
the idea of an art loan. He has got up
a , "money loan" scheme , and only tho
other day eight stage coach passengers
lent him nearly § 1,000.
The Brooklyn Kaqle knows of a pro
fessional roller-skater with a bullet in
bis head. We can't see anything odd
ibout that. That's no placo 10 shoot
jno of those chaps if you want to lay
liirn up.
Prof. Proctor says that at least 450-
)00 ) meteoric bodies fall from theheav-
3ns every hour of tho twenty-four for
: he entire year , and yet it is hard work
.o find a chap who lias had his hat
jnocked oft'
Of the nine great musical composers
) f Germany not one of them had a
aco an average man would like to
neeton a lonely road at twilight's
solemn hour. He'd count on either
jeing dunned or thumped.
A Chicago paper asserts that the
roting man who starts out in life with
he feeling that he doesn't know beans
roin broomsticks has at least $5,000
: apital over ail others. No such man
jver started in Chicago.
Fargo has all along supposed that
iho had 17,000 population , but a cen-
IHS taken by the police fails to show
juite 10,000. How 7,000 people
ilipped out of town inside of two days
s what bothers those who didn't go.
More than 100 men and women over
iO years of age have been injured or
dlled in skating rinks within the last
iix months. Most of 'em were wid-
> ws and widowers who were trying to
ihow off like people of 20. De'.roit'
Tree Press.
An Eloquent Tramp.
A stupid looking-tramp knocked at
he door of one ot the finest residence
n Austin , and was received by tho
ady of the house , who expressed some
suriosity to know what he wanted.
"Please , mum , give me a dime to
jet a glass of bread 'sense me , I
nean a loaf of beer. "
"I hain't got no money , " the lady
eplied.
"Ain't pot no money ? Then ,
nadamc , you should move into a
iheaper house , so you will not deceive
he humble tramp by the gorgeous-
ss of you residence. You are living
) eyond your means. Economy is
yealth. "
"Now you clear out of here or I'll
'
all my h'usband. "
"Cut down your expenses , madame
cut down your expenses , or sooner
> r later your husband will be in my
ix. I had just such a wife as you ,
md that is what has brought me to
he condition I am now in. Reduce
Tour expenses , madame , and some ol
hese days you may have a dime a
vhole dime which may be the means
) f preventing some hungry , thirsty
'ellow mortal from oommittingsuicide ;
> r it may be a quarter , a coin of the
of twenty five cents , that will
ipholster the dark clouds of his dcs-
lairing soul with a silver-plated lining
md his stomach with bock beer. Fail
ady' , good bye. " Texas Siftinqs.
Base ball is a game in which diamonds arc
Jways trumps.-
PASSING EVENTS.
Tho total state school fund of Geor
gia in 1884 was $5,08,454.
One family arrived at Newport last
week with sixty-four trunks.
There is an active demand for cot
tages at Long Branch this year.
Nearly one-half Iho entire popula
tion of BnfTulo is of Teutonic origin.
Corn has gone up 25 per cent , in
Monterey , Mexico , in tho last few days. .
One-fifth of the legal voters of Mas
sachusetts arovotrans of the civil war.
The construction of a. hotel costing :
$750,000 is on the tapis in Washington.
Tho northwestern lumber resources
have decreased 25 per cent , in the last
year.
year.A dude has boon defined in an At
lanta court as "a fellow who is mash s
" . * yi
ed on himself.
Mrs. Black Boar , a Piogan squaw , ! u !
\
died at tho Blackfeet reservation , i ;
Montana , aged 124 years. I V
The first bee-tree ever found in east- i f
ern Washington territory was discov- I \
ed a few days ago near the Touchit.
"A frisk , " is tho fashionable
name for a ball in Philadelphia , and
a theater warty of buds is a "dovo i "I1.
" H
"
party.
A lawyer named Scipio Africanus
Kenner is under arrest at Salt Lako
City , charged with stealing ten.thou-
saiul brick.
A statue of Moses in tho Bullrushes ,
by Herman Kein , is to bo placed at
the lily pond in Fairmount park.
Philadelphia. f
Largo flocks of blackbirds n Los !
Angeles county , California , are prov
ing a check to tho depredations of
grasshoppers.
'
The Dominion government has re-
duced tho tax on timber in British
Columbia to 15 cents a tree or 20 cents
per one thousand.
The Washington territory Grand
lodge of Masons has declared retail
liquor dealers ineligible to member
ship in the order.
The population of Macon , Ga. , was
12,000 accord ing to the United States
census in 1880 , and is now 25,000 ac
cording to the directory census.
An Italalian ship has been sheathed
with glass plates , to take the place of
3opper sheathing. Tho joints are \ jVs
made tight by the"use of mastic. ' ! j
Bicycling is now utilized for wedding i j
journeys. Tho bride rides the tricycle ( '
and the groom the bicycle , or , more
easily , both ride the sociable tricycle.
Next to Senator Stanford's largo
vineyard at Vina , Cal. , Los Angeles
claims to have tho largest in tho
world , covering three thousand acres.
An elevated railroad train was de-
laved a minute in New Yord owing to V" *
tlfe fringe on a lady passenger's dress * I . jj
becoming entangled with the button H
on a brakeman's coat.
A novel game of base-ball will bo
played at Carlton , Yamhill county ,
Oregon , at an early day. Nine young-
ladies will play nine gentlemen , who
must be over 50 years of age.
An exchange states that if a castor-
oil plant is Kept growing in a room ,
mosquitoes , Uies , and other pests will
not enter , or if they should they are
soon found dead beneath tho leaves.
Fifteen tons of grasshoppers , com
prising , it is estimated , 60,000,000
separate insects , were captured at the
Natoma vineyard , near Folsoni , Cal. ,
by drowning in the irrigating ditches.
Strawberry shortcake has been
served out to all the prisoners in tho
Arkansas penitentiary , despite tho
provisions of the constitution concern
ing cruel and unusual punishment.
Oae juror in Clarke county , Georgia ,
has caused no less than twenty mis
trials , and now it is proposed to leave ft
his name and those of other men who y
have acted in tha same manner out of
the jury lists.
The Columbia Indians in "Harney
valley , Oregon , are much incensed
over "the recent killing by whito men
of two Indian horse-thieves , and they
lire reported to be holding war dances.
Ihe neighboring whites are alarmed.
In an account of the war between
the fishermen of New Jersey and Dela-
ivare The Cleveland Leader remarks in
in offhand manner that New Jersey
iiad better annex the three counties of
Delaware , that is to say , tho whole
state.
There is a Hotel Boston in New
Sfork , opposite the Central park , which
ins alight sandstone front ornamented
with blue trimmings , as if to indicate
.he blue blood which is proverbially
issosiatcd with the first circles of the
'Hub. "
A New Hampshire court has lately
lecided that a physician's horse and
juggy are "tools , " and as such are
sxeinpt from seizure for debt when
hey are necessary to enable him to
iractice his profession with reasonable
A carious statistical fact has been
liscovercd. There are twelve thous- i '
ind stamp collectors among children
> f the New York public schools , and
nany dealers in stamps. The collec-
ors of buttons , old coins , and other
imall bric-a-brac were not enumer-
itetl.
According to Bill Nye , the sign of
listress for a Maine man in search of a
irink is , close your right eye. hook
our right foot around and back of f '
our left leg , with the left hand exe-
itite tho celebrated gesture of Sam'l ot '
'osen , and place the right hand on the j
tomach. >
r
The Robbins family at Green's Land- '
ng , Hancock county , Me. , includes a j
ioy 21 years of age , who weighs but
hirty-three pounds. He talks , walks ,
ooks , and acts like a grown man , and
s about the : height ofa'common 3-year 1
ld child. His parents have had sever- '
il offers for him , but they will not let ,
lim go on exhibition for "fear someone * " ' ' ]
vill steal him.
A gentleman from Lebanon , Linn ll
lounty , Oregon , stales that the Mbn-
: olian pheasants which were turned
oose in that section have wonderfull - ' i !
nultiplied. Scores of half fledo-c'd 1
> heasants of this breed are seennl ° - '
uost evory day scurrying about over (
he Albany prairie. These are the /
lirds which were brought from China
iy Mr. Denny , formerly United Stales- I
onsul there.
