McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, July 10, 1884, Image 8

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    ARAPAHOE
.
-T S.
WARRANTED" TO'j BE
' ' * I " " , > vt :
F MsTE
,
'
FL'OUI 112 THE.MABKET ,
.
* '
FOR SALE
GO. AGENTS
. , ,
McdOOK , NEBRASKA.
Great Western
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= 1 X * 1
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t/3 -w w.
I I
J. E. BERGER , Proprietor , McCOOK , NEB ,
Saddles f Harness ,
[ 01TOS1TE 1IUTKL , OX THE IIIU , . ]
Manufacturer and Dealer In
' SADDLES ,
'
HARNESS
- ,
BRIDLES ,
COLLARS ,
BRUSHES ,
COMBS ,
WHIPS.
Stock Saddles , Cow-Boy out
fits , and Spin's.
R. H. HAMILTON.
CITY BAKERY.
A. PROBST &BRO.
PROPKIETOHS.
WE KEE11 OJf HAND
BREAD , PIES & CAKES ,
G11AI1AM BREAD.
Cakes Made on Order.
Lunch Room in connection , where
you can iret hot cofl'co , etc.
15 A T ? T5T"D QUHP
JjAnJjJiJK DrlUl ,
Go to A. P. Sharp's for
FIKST-GLASS
SHAVE or HAIR CUT.
HOTAND COLD BATHS
ON SHOKT NOTICK.
and Children's Uair
Dressing a specialt } ' .
ADVICE TO MOTHERS.
Arc you disturbed at night and broken of your re-t
by a sick child suffering and crying with pain of cut
ting teeth 2 If so. send at once and get n bottle of
Tin. TOashT's ScotMsg Syrcp fr Chiidrss Tectiiss.
Its ialue Is incalculable. It will relieve the poor
little sufferer Immediately. Depend upon It. mothci.s ,
thure Is no mlMnkc about It. It cures dysenteiy and
diarrhoea , regulate * , the stomach and bowcNnre
wind colic , wftcns the gums reduces inflammation.
and ghex tone and energy to the nhola system.
Un. Ssttbg Synip fr Chilirca is
pleasant to the tnfte , and is the pncrlptlon of one
of the oldest and bc.st female nurses and physicians
in the United State * , ami is for sale by all druggists
throughout the world. Price 25 cents a bottle.
k wanted for The Lives of all the
"Presidents of the IT. S. The
AGENTS
largest , handsomest best hook
"everioldforlesstlmntwiceottr
price. The fastest selling book in America. Immense
profits to agcut * . AH intelligent people want it. Any
one cat : become a successful agent. Terms free.
HALLCTT BOOK CO. , Portland , Maine. 2-33.
OUR LIVE DEUGGIST
. L. OrstaJe doUy tavlcs calls for Bess- r-
Incases of Colic , Cholera , itolera
Jlorl/Ji' , DJarrbdju. Dysentery. Bloody Flax , In2so
UjatJea of Uic Bowels , etc. . it will bring tem&mta
. Every tottlc wid Is positively warranted tc
give satisfaction , or money refunded. Price , S3 cts.
THOEST IS THE CHEAPEST.
THE ENTERPRISE WIND MILL
Is what I- known na "solid wheel" mill ami dis
penses with all Mfdlnx shafts and pltmaus. and all
segment jrear , which arc llalilc to become inopera-
tl\e fioiu t-now or sleet. It ha ix. Mipcrfluoui joints ,
wcljihts and lever.to wear mid admlr-of lost motion
or make nuNc. Its multiplying Ball Governor Is the
j-lmplust , most diri-et and quickest In n e. It Is theme
mo t seu > ltl\e to Mirylns winds , it Is manufactured
by a company of Ions standing and e.\perleuce in tlie
wind mill bu-iuess with large capital Invested in
special machinery , extensive works , and tin efficient
corps of skilled woiknion. They are neat In appear
ance , noi elesin oper.itlon , and an ornament to the
grounds. Parties dchlilux estimates and cots on an
outfit , eau obtain them ! > } addressing us , giving planet
ot pound- , depth of well , points of dellveiy , etc.
We maniif.ictuiu lion 1'uinpJJi.Kt Cylindeis , Tanks
and erythlng connected with farm , city or railway
water supply.
SAlTDVraCE SOTI2PSI3E CO. , Sandwich , HI.
VOI. Jil. IUW1X , Agent , .McCoofc , Xeli.
TON I
It will pnrlfy and enrich the BLOOD , regulate
the LIVER and KIDNEYS , and KESTOHE THE
HEALTH and VIGOBof TOTJTHI In all those
diseases requiring acertaln and cllicicii TONIC ,
espeelaHvl > yspepsia"Wantof Api > etltelndlFes-
tlon , Lack of Strength , etc. . Us use is marked
with immediate and wonderful results. Jtoncs ,
muscles and nerves receive new force.Enlivens
the mind and supplies Brain Tower.
B miG suffering from all complaints
Li AUI tOpeculiartotlicIrsexwillfindiu
DR. HABTEK'S IBON TONIC a safe and speedy
cure. It gives a clear and healthy complexion.
The strongest testimony to the value of ln.
UAKTER'S litO.V TONIC is that frequent attempts
at counterfeiting have only added to the popular
ity of the original. Ifyou earnestly desire heal'.i
-do not experiment get the ORIGINAL A > 'D IJUaT ,
xJSend your address to The Dr. Harter Med.Co.V
St. Louis , Mo. , for onr "DREAM BOOK."H
Fuliof etrangaand useful information , ftcc.j ?
OR. MASTER'S IRON TONIC is FOR SALE DY ALL
DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS EVERYWHERE.
jfor the working cas . Send 10 cents
J for postage , and we will mail jou free.
Ba royal , valuable box of s-ample goodi
'that will put you iu the way of making
more money In .1 few days tlian you e\er thouchtpos
> iblc at any bninei > s. Capital not required. " \ \ i : wil
; tan you. You can work all the time or In s-pjrc tlmi
jnlj. The woi k U universally adapted to both SCA.CS.
I onnji and old. You can easily earn from 30 cents tc
si ever } ' mcntns./ That all who wait work may teal
lie hii Inr > , we make this nnpatnllelcd offer ; to all
. \ lie are not well satis-flrd w o will send $1 to pay fo :
he trouble of writing * ! ? . 1'ull particulars , direction' .
! te , tent free. Fortunes will be made by tho-e wl
rf\c their whole time to the nurk. Gre.it sueees ,
ibs-oliitely sure. Don't delay. Start non. Addre-
& CO. . Portland. .Maine. 2-35.
EBB 8 Agents wauti'd for unthentic
LS C DM lat'llft ! < J" Ol IliI Iltc1'iiWiMied a
143 I l AugUijj , liia home. Largest
F fi B 1 bhand omest , cheapest , best. Bj
he renowned liUtoiijn and biographer , Col. Conwell
i hou life of Uarlield , published by us , outsold tin
wcnty others by CO.lHJNi. Outsells every Vool : eve
inblibhutl In tUb woi id ; mauy agents arc iellins rtf i\
[ .illy. Agent t are waking fortunes , . All new begin
LOTS tacccsilul ; rraud ejwnce for them , a 3ii nudr
y .1 UJy a uit : iie nrstdiy. TcJina moil liberal
' 4K.cnl.ir3 free. Better tend 25cents for postage ,
tc. , on Jrcc outfit , now re.t\y , incladin Iar0-c pros-
cctus Loot , and save T.tliublc time.
" ALLEX & CO. , Atijuita , llainc.
List Tkonghts.
A veteran physician speaking on this
enbjeot recently said : "Judging of the
Ihoughta of moo. by thei words just
previous to death , I should Bay it often
happens that a dying person gives no
indication , of thought upon a subject
that has been a favorite" 'topic of a life
time. I have known active business
men , with important affairs unattended
to , who died with words upon their lips
that indicated absorption in some inci
dent of the moment , generally relating
to personal comfort It was that sort of
a death that Washington Irving died ,
saying : 'Well I mast arrange my pil
lows for another weary night ; if this
could only end. ' Long suffering under
the afflictions of a painful disease will
servo to divert the mind of the strong
est. Even the philosopher , Ben Frank
lin , was forced to say , with his last
breath , 'A dying man can do nothing
easyIt is a very common thing for a
dying person to express sympathy with
attendants who have been fatigued in
attending them. Among the last words
of Sir Walter Scott were 'Poor souls , I
know you were up all night. ' "
Better to he Lawyer Than Litigant.
"Is it true that the case of Zabriskio
against Yan Riper is settled ? " asked a
reporter of lawyer L. M. Ward , of Paterson -
erson , N. J. This case has been in the
courts for a long time.
"Yes,1" replied Mr. Ward , "the case
is settled. "
"And it is said , Mr. Ward , that you
have come into possession of the farm. "
"That's so , " replied Mr. Ward , laugh-
Ing. "I've got the farm , and Garry
Ackerson , of Hackensact , the lawyer on
the other side , nas got all the money. I
got a mortgage on the farm , and then I
paid the balance and became the owner.
The money I paid went to Ackerson. ' "
"And what have the two farmers got ,
Mr. Ward ? "
"Nothing. When we began the case
there were two well-off farmers and two
poor lawyers. Now there are two poor
farmers and two well-off lawyers.New -
York Sun.
Millions That We Drink.
Statistics just published show that
the quantity of beer brewed in the
United States during the last twelve
months , was five hundred and thirty-
eight million gallons , or twenty-three
million gallons more than was made
during the preceding year. It appears
that the production has been steadily
and rapidly increasing year by year.
The brew of 1883 shows an advance of
106 per cent , over that of 1875. But
let not good temperance people too
quickly take alarm at these figures.
The census returns show that while the
production of malt liquors in the- coun
try increased in value during the decade
between 1870 and 1880 from fifty-five tea
a hundred and one million dollars , the
production of distilled liquors increased
during the same period from thirty-sir
only to forty-one million dollars. Is not
this good proof that the people are drink
ing more beer and less whisky ? Ncio
York Herald.
Twice Almost a Bride.
About three years ago Miss Bose
Haverman , a bright and good-looking
young lady of Greensburg , Pa. , was en
gaged to wed a young gentleman of
Middletown , Pa. , by the name of Fox.
He died three days before the ceremony.
Stricken with grief , the young lady for a
time lived in retirementbut , recently her
heart and hand were again sued for and
successfully won by a promising young
man of 22 , named David Price. They
were engaged to be married , and Mr.
Price removed to Latrobe , where , re
cently he lost his life while bathing , just
three weeks before he hoped to be united
in marriage to Miss Haverman. Upon
hearing the news of her affianced's sud
den death , she left immediately for La
trobe to attend the funeral , only to dis
cover that he had been interred the
previous day , the news having been de
layed in reaching Greensburg. Greens-
burg Post.
Perverted Proverbs.
Hunger is the best sauce , hence street
boys are naturally saucy.
Many men have many minds , but one
woman frequently has more than all of
them.
They who dance leave the host to pay
the fiddler.
What can not be cured supports the
doctors.
Speak of the devil and he is sure to call
for copy.
A fan ? exchange would ruin the stock
market.
Marriages were invented in Heaven ,
but unfortunately the process was not
patented.
If wishesJwere horses we should all be
ruined in boarding-stable bills.
Fair play is a jewel , but bluff takes
the pile.
Swallowing a Trombone.
"Wall , neow , will you look at that fel
ler , " said a gentleman , from the country ,
laying one hand affectionately on the
shoulder of the scribe , and pointing
svith the other to the trombone player.
"I kin take my affidavy I saw him run
three foot o' that ere brass thing down
tus throat not half a minute ago ; there
lie goes again ; he shoved a yard of that
ihing into himself then , sir , if it was an
inch ; he must be frightful holler inside. "
"It's long practice that enables him
do that , " said the reporter. "When
10 get's done playing on that instrument
10 will swallow it entire. "
"He won't have no more brass in him
lian you've got , if he does , sonny , " said
he rustic , perceiving the guile of the
icribe as the latter fled from' the wrath
o come.
Smoking has become so prevalent in
south Australia that a measure has been
ntroduced in Legisla.ture to check
he practice in yointh. It imposes a fine
if 5s. to 5 upon any person , under
iighteen who shall smoke a pipe , cigar
r cigarette.
The Registrar ofrital statistics of
rovidence , E. L , s'fttes that there has
teen but one death ifcom smallpox there
a nearly ton years. ' * -
HUMOROUS.
"Where is the girl of long ago ? "
sings Joaquin Miller. We saw her the
other day , Joaq. But she isn't a girl
any more. She had gray hair and a wart
on her nose ; had no teeth , and were
specs. '
An English traveler thinks wo have
mighty comfortable quarters in our
sleeping cars. Yes , wo generally do have
a pocket full of 'em , when we start , but
we fee 'em all out to porters before we
get there.
An observing pedestrian has made
the startling discovery that the reason
why women can not. succeed as well as
man in walks of life is because when
she is on the walk ono hand is usually
employed in holding up her dress.
A gentleman , who was describing to
his wife an accident ho had witnessed ,
said , that for a moment ho fairly held his
breath. "Did you , dear ? " was the reply ,
"and for a whole moment ! It mubthave
been a wonderful exhibition of strength. "
There is a man in Burlington who
has failed in businees five tunes since he
was twenty-three years old , and has
never lost anything but his temper.
And pays fifty cents on that never gets
more than half so angry as other men.
A good deacon not a thousand miles
froih Oil City , Pa. , being late at a
church where it was his duty to hold
service , asked the congregation to ex
cuse his tardiness , as he had been up
the night before opening the finest lot
of dry goods ever brought to town.
Human nature is pretty much the
same the world over. Even in France ,
when a woman rushes out into the front
yard bare-headed , the neighbors all know
that a 'strange chicken has put in its
appearance , or that a dog has chased
cat across the verbena bed.
"The boat has turned over and
drowned your son , " said a man approach
ing a fishing party and addressing an
old gentleman. "Great goodness ! "
exclaimed the old man , bursting into
tears. "He was my hope in this life.
He was the best boy on the place ; and
besides that , he had the bait cup with
him. "
A young lady from the rural dis
tricts entered a dry goods store the other
day , and asked for a pair of stockings.
The clerk politely asked her what num
ber she wore. "Why , two , you blasted
fool ! Do you suppose I am a centipede ,
or have got a wooden leg ? How many
do you suppose a two-legged hair-phi
like me would wear ? "
A farmer widower of a back county
in this State was chased over a barn lot
by a bull , stamped on , tossed over the
fence , kicked by a colt and suffered a
concussion of the nervous system
through the coy advances of a sportive
ram. When picked up he was weeping
bitterly , and upon being asked the cause
of his grief replied with great emotion :
"That Jar experience recalls such vivid
memories of my poor lost Sairy. "
The Arkansaw man has many ways
of getting his name into print , and when
all other means fail the mad dog resort
is taken up. The gentleman who wants
his name to appear in the local paper
calls on the editor and says : "Killed the
biggest mad dog this morning you ever
saw. Better mate a local to that effect
as it might serve as a warning to the
people ot the neighborhood. Youneedn't
say that I killed him. Just say that a
very large mad dog was killed the other
day by well , you can put my name in.
I don't care. "
The President of the Liiue-Kiln Clnb
on Matrimony.
"I understand , " began the President ,
as the meeting opened in due form , "dat
quite a number of de members of dis
club am gwine to be mar'ied doorin' dis
season. Dat's all right , an' I wish 'em
much joy , an' shall be glad to witness ,
de obsequies of each an' ebery one. But ,
I want to say a few words in gineral. In
do fust place , am you gwine to mar'y fur
love or fur a sort of business partner
ship ? II you answer fur love , let me
warn you to be sartin dat you doan' mis
take de sentiment. Many a young man
who thought his heart torn by love has
plunged into matrimony to diskiver
dat he simply had admiration fur a $30
set of false teeth an * a high instep. If
you answer fur a sort of bizness part
nership , let me warn you not to expect
too much. You won't love de woman ,
an' she won't trust you. It will be a sort
o' hess trade , in which both parties will
be cheated , and both continer to be mad
about it. You kin get along arter a fash
ion , on' people who see her on your arm
at a circus won't know how you fight at
home.
"If you mus' marry , let common
sense have a show in de transackshun.
Doan' go off yer feet bekase you meet a.
gal who kin sing like a robin , smile like
a rose an' jump off a street-kyar widout
boderin' do driver to stop. A wife will
have much to do besides singin' an' cul-
tivatin' dimples. If you am gwine to
many ax yerself how fur $10 per week
will go when divided up fur clothes an'
pervishuns an' house rent an' fewel an *
incidentals. Befo' you fall iu love wid a
gal who looks too sweet fur any thin' in
a red plush sacque kinder figger on how
many sich duds your income would
afford her. Befor' you am all broke up
ober a gal who plays de planner , talks
French , paints landscapes an' reads
poetry jist sit down an' figger who am
to cook yer meat an' taters , patch yer
cloze , darn yer socks an' help ye make
$12 buy $15 worth of things. Befo' ye
let a pa'r o' flashin' eyes an' a cunnin'
dimple captivate ye look aronn' a little
an' see if de owner has got a temper like
a wildcat. Marriage am a lottery simply
bekase people take each odder unsight
an * unseen. Let us now prognosticate
to bizness. " _
A Recipe For Making Cake.
I have always thought well of the
cooking schools , but I saw recently the
notes taken down by a young lady of
fashion , who had just come from a cook
ing lesson , and I don't know now what
to think. The young lady saw a friend
at the school who had just appeared in
an elegant new spring costume , and her
notes ran about like this : "A fine cake.
One pound and a half of flour , four
ruffles across the front , one cupful of
milk cut bias , whites of two eggs' with
kilt plaiting , butter the dish with bugle
trimming , bake in a moderate waist un
til the oven is finished with the over-
skirt. Exchange.
BALL ! >
We jtre daily receiving New Goods and will' Hell all a
low as any house in tlie county. Just received a
A CAK-LOAD OF FLOUR ,
EVERY SACK WARRANTED.
"Tlie Prairie Kose , " § 1.15 per one-fourth barrel Sack
"Best Fall Wheat , " $1.25 per one-fourth barrel Sack
Best Uncolored Japan Tea in the market , only 60c.
6-P { Arbucles "Ariosa" Coffee . $1.00
FEESH CANNED GOODS
AT ALMOST WHOLESALE PRICES.N
Best Standard Ginghams , per yard lOc.
Best Dress Ginghams , per yard 12 c.
Good Calicoes , per yard 5c.
Indian Orchard "A. A. , " Indian Wead. or Atlantic
"A. " Muslin , the heaviest made , per yard , only. . . 10c.
A FULL LINE OF ALL
Other Grades in Proportion.
VE CAPiKY A FULL LINE
' IPRPV ninths
; JuluGJ UlULllOf
Alpacas , Ribbons , Laces , Hats and Caps , Boots and Shoes.
We can save you from two to five dollars on a suit of Cloth
ing. Boys' Suits from 4 years up. Young Men's Nobby
Suits -will give special bargains in Summer Suits
or Linen Pants. Bring in your
TURKEYS AND CHICKENS , BUTTER AND EGGS
We keep 110 books. Hence'low prices.
COUDS DELIVERED AV1TII1X
THE COIU'OIIATIOX FllKK.
FREES & HOCKNEIL ,
PllOlTilETOKS OF THE
H DEALERS IN II
Lumber , Lime , Cement , Sash , Doors , Blinds ,
*
Hard and Soft Coal ,
YAS.DS AT McCook , Indianola , Cambridge , Arapahoer and Oxford.
Wind Mill.
Superior to any ou the market , being Hea\Ier , Stronger Built.
and therefore .1 more IJnrable Mill. It is the only
absolutely safe JII11 built ; and outof
Thousands Erected During 12
Years past , not one has e\crJ > Iown away and left the Tower
standing. A : ccord no other Mill can show. AVe offer
to put up any of our PL'MPIXG MILLS
1 THIRTY DAYS TRIAL ,
And if tlu-y don't gi\e tati.-factlon , will reno\e : Mill at our
own expense. Also Manufacturers of the Celebrated
Challenge Feed Mills , CornPhellers , Iron Pumps
tvlth brass cjliuders , Iron Pipe , TauJw.
For i-btiin.ites , catalogues and prices , apply to
. B. NETTLETOX , 3IcCook , i\el.5
Agi-nf for bouthwe-teni Nebraska and Xorthwe > teni Kan-a" .
SORT ,
IS THE PLACE
ce Cold.Lemonade , Ginger Beer , Pop , Nuts ,
CHOICE CIGARS , CANDY , ETC ,
ilLLIARD and POOL TABLE. CALL ami EX JOY YOWISELTES