McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, May 15, 1884, Image 6

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    Flowering almonds scent the air , ' '
rApp ) e * blossoms wait perfume ,
' /'All / the world seems fresh and fair ;
" ' " ' Flowering almonds scent theralr ,
* * Making odors rich and-raro ,
. „ \ fbl\o \ within ray latticed room't
flowering almonds scent the air ,
' Apple blossoms waft perfume.
- Htji ' ' * '
' Life seems one bright jrammer day , *
' "A' * ABlHsttheBongofblrds , ' *
. / , Intthls merry month ofeMay ;
, : - LJfe seems one .bright summer day . , {
Care and sorrow flee away , , , . , j
. ? . i - Tbey are now unmeaning words ; n
* '
Life seems one brlgh't summer day ,
; r i { As I Hat the song ofblrde.
5 TH Llie8 { lift their perfumed bells ,
, . lOewy inthe , morning breeze ;
' * Whlfethe wandering zephyr swells ; , .
? Lilies lift theirpe'rfumed bells ,
* ' .t filled with fragrant , ferny smells ;
, TJnderneath the shady trees , '
* * TUfles lift the'fr perfumed bells ,
fi ' ' -Dewy in the morning breeze.
fO } my souil I sing b'e wise !
" " * * ' 5hut out all that seemeth ill f ! '
, . ' . Waste no time in useless sighs.
O , my 8911 ! -l.Blng I be wise !
Nothing eve'r wholly dies
To1 the ocean flows the rill.
O , my soul I I sing be wise !
* * > ! 'Shut out all that Fcemeth 111.
* *
* Still the scent % of apple bloom
; * - ' On the frelgbtcdjair steals In ,
f . , With thejily-.bellb' perfume ;
Stillthe , scent of applu-bloom
' * ' Floating upward to my room ,
* 'All my thoughts from torrow win ;
. , .SU11 the scent of apple-bloom
On the freighted air steals in./
[ LillaN. CuHhraan.
* * , V
" 0 , this small round of small duties ,
tow tired I am of them all , how I wish
.some grand mission in life would come.
to me ! "
' Jennie Orson , the pretty little school
mistress , leaned her chin upon her
hand as she mused in the above man
ner , and gazed out over the gray
spring fields , whose dreary plowed
t a'ces were thrusting then ragged faces
up through the rapidly disappearing
"Why , how the snow has gone , to
day , " she added mentally , as 'the
changed appearance of the fields struck
her eye. It was the last day of March ,
and all winter long the snow had been ,
heaped in miniature mountain ranges
by the roadside , and on the fields and
meadows. During the last week , warm
weather had set in , making rapid in
roads on snow and ice. . +
The children cameSrunning under the
window where Jennie stood , playing a't
* 'Bxund the House ! " Then they
flocked off together toward the brook
that rippled by the school house , a few
rods distant. Jennie watched them ab
sently. , Her , mind was 'not ' upon h'er
duties that day. . , Her plodding , round
in 'a ' cbuntry school room , seemed very
dulkand.mean to * Her. SHe sighed for
isomegreat.and lofty mission i. > I
* 'If JL could do some , one. great act ,
Heroic and noble , " she said to herself ,
. . ' ! would' ' be willing to die then- What
js. life .worth if we must plod on forever
like' this ? T am no more than an ant ,
or a spider , or a squirrel , with the life
: Ilive ! How , 'gladly wo"uld I give up the
> monotony of years of. this routine for
one hour of ; sacrifice' , heroism , and then
" ? yejcome death. "
jHow ; she , hated her homely life as she
looked back over its..nineteen unevent-
'ifal years. She had1 always lived in
this dull country place , ever since she
was a wee child and her parents had
emigrated to the west. She had re
ceived her education in this same little
school .house , attended divine service
there also as the place boasted no
church 'edifice and her only knowl
edge of 'the world beyond was obtained
by a yearly visit to the city , fifty miles
distant , where the family supplies were
purchased , and a few books arid news
papers Now she was very tired of it
all tired of her dull past , .her .duller
present , her doubtlessly dull future.
Even the "thought of her fond , true
lover , Jack Kellog , who was building
the house where she was to reign mis
tress , annoyed- to-day. How poor
and monotonous life stretched before
&er. How much better to perform
; some one grand act and die , than to
live on to old age in this dreary fash
ion. It was a very romantic girl who
stood there in the little school room
dreaming her discontented dreams , you
Suddenly she saw by the noon mark
that it was time to call in her scholars.
iShe had no bell for that was in the
early days of Wisconsin history , before
'the railroads had spread their great
iron spider webs all over the state , and
Jennie's school was conducted on a
very primitive plan. She took the
great ruler , with which she inflicted
punishment on the palms of unruly
-boys , and rapped loudly on the win
dow1. Then she sat down and waited
for the pupils to come trooping in ; not
with the regulation and order which
governs school rooms in these days ,
but helter-skelter , hurry-skurry , laugh
ing , pushing each other and playing
"tag" to their very benches.
* ? O , teacher , the creek is getting
awful tigh , " said-Tommy Smith , as he
plunged into his seat. And Jennie did
not correct him for the improper use of
"awful , " which proved to be more ap
propriate in this case than teacher or
jjupil supposed.
"I suppose the snows are all melting
and running into it , " she answered ab
sently , as she took her place at her
desk , and by another tap of the ruler
indicated that the afternoon session of
the school was now in order.
Then she- ran her eye over the room
to see that no pupils were missing. ,
' "Where is Ted Brown ? " she asked }
"I do not see him here. "
- Ted wss the smallest child in the
school ; a little boy. scarcely five years
old , who was placed in her charge not
so much to learn his primer as to keep
him out of his mother's way. She was
burdened with him , besides a babe in
theN cradle. ,
* "I left Ted down by the creek , " an
swered Tommy Smith , "throwin' peb-
bles into the'water. I told him school
was.called. " .
"You should have brought him with
you 5 Ted is only a child , ' Jennie said ,
reprovingly. * 'But go and bring him
now ; and hurry * for your lesson in
arithmetic comes on directly. ' '
Tommy came back in a brief space
of time , white and frightened.
"Tod is stannin' on a stone and cry-
in' , and the water's all'roundhim , " he
said. "I couldn't get near him atrall. "
The whole school rose en masse , and
Jennie , at the head of the small army ,
led on to the rescue of Tod.
Yes , there he stood on a stone which
a little 'time' before had * been on the
shore , but now , alas , was in the midst
of the rapidly swelling stream beyond
the reach of any one in that little
group. ' '
"Mamma ! mammal" he called , in
piteous tones , "Come and take Tod.
Ted is 'fraid. Come , mamma , come I"
Jennie looked over her little flock of
.pupils who crowded ; about her. Not
one of them was large enough to wade
out and rescue Tod. The only boy in
her school who might safely have at
tempted this had remained at home
that day to'assist his father.
The water was rising higher every
I moment. What was to be'done must
, be done quickly , or the angry waves
would seize poor little Ted , and sweep
him away down the swelling stream.
"John , ? ' cried Jennie , speaking to
the largest boy in the flock , "you stand
here on the bank , while I wade out to
Tod. I shall want you to take him
from my arms as soon as ,1 have him
Safe. Some of the larger girls must
hold fast to your coat , so that you do
not fall into the stream. "
Then Jennie drew her skirts close
about her slight figure and plunged
bravely into the cold waters , sinking
almost to her waist at the first step.
1 Slowly , slowly she made her way to
ward the crying child , the waves rush
ing up higher over his feet every mo
The little flock on the shore huddled
together like frightened lambs , watch
ing their teacher with wide distended
eyes and sobbing out their fear and
terror , , as she slowly forced her way
against the waves.
Another effort , another plunge , and
she 'had him in her arms. Then she
tried to make her way 'back ' to 'shore ,
but the waters were growing more
furious every moment , as if angered at
the loss of their' ' prey. They almost
swept her from her feet they launched
above her shoulders , and her little , bur
den screamed and struggled with ter
ror , making her task ten fold more
"Just another step , teacher , and I'll
catch hold of him , " cried John from
the shore , reaching out almost his
whole .length over the waters , while
two sobbing girls held fast to the skirts
of his coat.
It was an. exciting scene , a wild mo
ment of suspense. Jennie's face was
as white aschiseled.marble ; her long ,
black hair had fallen from its fasten
ings , and floated back over the billows
like a dark mantle ; her eyes were large
with fear , her mouth drawnwith pain ,
and her slender form swayed as if her
strength were well nigh exhausted.
With one last mighty effort she laid
her burden in John's outstretched
Ted was saved.
A wild shout of joy and triumph rose
from the excited band on shore , and
they flocked about the prostrate 'form
of the almost inanimate child.
Just then a great wave swept down
upon Jennie , lifted her from her feet ,
just as she was about to grasp the
shore , and bore her rapidly down the
stream like a piece of light driftwood.
As she was whirled away the whole
events of her past life rose'before her ;
that life which only an hour before had
seemed so poor , and mean , and dull to
her. Ah , now how precious and bright
and beautiful it became. She remem
bered her rash wish , that she m'ght be
given some one heroic act to perform
and then die. That act had been grant
ed her , almost instantly , and she had
performed it heroically. But now must
she carry out the remainder of her
thought , and die ! Oh , death"was dark
so cold ; the unknown seemed so ter
rible ; she was so young , and life was
so sweet !
She thought of Jack , her lover , and
the half-completed house. Life with
'him there , that an hour before had
seemed a dreary , monotonous waste ,
now. shone upon her like the departing
shorts of some lost paradise. Oh , to
see his dear eyes smiling fondly upon
her , once more to hear his voice ; life ,
youth'love , how precious they all
were !
Then all grew blank. "Jack , Jack ,
I am so cold. O , God ! save me pity
forgive , " she cried , and then sank
away into unconsciousness.
Two miles below the school house
they found her tossed on shore with a
mass of driftwood. Quite dead they
pronounced her at first , and the old
village doctor confirmed the assertion.
But Jack Kellogg would not listen to
any of them. "She is not dead , " he
cried. "How dare you tell me such a
cruel thing. She is alive , and will
lookup and smile in my face before the
day passes. "
They shook their heads and thought
the poor boy had gone mad , as he set
to work oyer her. But they all lent a
helping hand , and every restorative
known to them was applied to the pal
lid figure of the young girl.
It was hours before they saw any
signs of returning life. Then she
drew a deep , quivering sigh , opened
her eyes and smiled , even as Jack had
said she would , into his loving face
bent anxiously above her.
"Is this heaven ? " she asked in a
whisper. "I though I died. "
"You went out clear to the very
threshold of death , " Jack answered ,
as he clasped heron his arms , "but love
was strong enough to bring you back ,
dear. "
A Baltimore mother , supposing she
was dying , gave her baby to her nurse
and told her to take it to an asylum
until after her death. The nurse pock
eted the.child's board money and. left
it on the asylum doorstep. The mother
has recovered , but cannot identify her
baby among a hundred other waifs.
A Cleveland Preacher Denounces Cards ,
Theatres and the Dance.
Clereland Herald.
Rev. Dr. Mueller preached at the
Scoville Avenue Methodist church last
evening on "Christians and Amuse
ments. " The sermon consisted of an
attack on modern card playing , thea
ters , and above all , dancing , and a
brilliant appeal to all , especially mem
bers of churches , his own in particular ,
and Christians of all denomination to
depart from the'paths' ' of such sin , as
may have'fallen ' into. Of course , as
the subject of the discourse signified ,
it was for the special benefit of Chris
tians , but naturally , although only ap
plied to believers , was intended to
reach the ears of those who are not pro
fessed Christians. The church was
crowded toisuffocation to hear this sub
ject discussed.
The purport of the address was that ,
as far as possible , all thoughts of God
and right are banished from ho mind
by these wicked players of cards , visi
tors to theaters , and "monomanical
dancers. " Christians can not con
scientiously indulge in such amuse
ments , and if they do it is at a sacrifice
of all principle of religious feeling.
There is no such thing as serving two
Gods , and , as a rule , persons who fre
quent such places and adopt such
means of amusement as mentioned
above are not noted.for their excessive
piety , neither can it be expected from
them. Another principle in this direc
tion is that no Christian has any right
whatever to do anything by which he
can not be distinguished from the more
worldly. In connection with this the
doctor drew the fine distinction that for
a person who has the reputation of be
ing a professed Christian it looks de
cidedly unchristian to conduct himself
in such a manner as to stir up against
church members the reputation of fre
quenting such places of amusement.
"Why , " some one may say , "is it
possible that that man and that woman
is a professed Christian ? Why , I have
seen them at the theatre and at dances ,
and I have heard that they play cards. "
They of course do not realize that they
are doing 1 anything wrong , but they
are , and other people , if not their own
sexes , notice it in them and talk about
it. Oi course it is a surprising thing
that persons who consider themselves
Christians will" engage in such amuse
ments as world's people do. In living
this way , .said the doctor , professed
Christians are really denying Christ ,
and it is false testimony against the
Gospel. People who have fallen into
the-error of believing .that their only
amusement is to be gained in a round
of gaiety , such as dancing , -card play
ing and theatresiareindee l in an er.ror ,
for testimony proves that persons who
have been reformed , from such sin'have
found more peace and happiness in
Christian lives. Some people of strong
temperament .can engage in such
worldly amusement without any moral
harm resulting , but different persons
are differently constituted , and some
are liable , nay , led from the straight
path. Although by card playing one
can acquire a certain amount of inge
nuity , although dancing tends toward
gracefulness , and the theatre toward a
certain kind of mind cultivation , there
are other kinds of amusements that
will do the same , and here it may be
said that when one'asks : "What harm
is there in it ? " it can be more truly
asked : "What good is there in it ? "
It is .the modern tneatre the modern
theatre as a whole persisted the
speaker , and not any branch of the
tneatre , but as a whole , that exercises
a baneful influence , and if they cou'd
be banished society would be benefitted
by the change , for the theatre is not , as
it has been said , an educator ol morals ,
but the very reverse. The modern
theatre is not the representative of
legitimate drama , and it is as immoral
to-daj in plot and action as it was 100
years .ago. Tnis is not puritanical big
otry , said the doctor , and it does not
require a personal contact with it to
enable one to see the sin in it , for one
need not be hung in order that he may
have acquired a sufficient knowledge
of capital punishment that will enable
him to write about it.
Public and promiscuous dancing ,
from personal knowledge as a physi
cian , averred Dr. Mueller , is physically
unhealthy , and more women are in
jured by it than in any other way.
Furthermore , the attractiveness of the
dance often unsettles one's mind. Per
sons may urge the apparent harmlessness -
ness of parlor dancing all they wish.
It is merely an introduction to the pub
lic dance bouses , where so many men ,
as well as women , are daily ruined ,
and the innocent square dances are but
a prelude to the fearful and much-op
posed round dance that is the serpent
that kills so many pure and unsuspect
ing girls. We must have exercise and
amusement , it is said. Well and good ;
but let it be obtained in some less dan
gerous way , and they are to be pitied
who limit themselves in their means of
obtaining the much-needed exercise
and amusement to the three evils , card
playing , theatres and dancing.
Progress of the Work of Constructing the
'Festival and Convention Chamber.
Chics go Journal. *
The remodeling of the exposition
building for the use of the May festival
and the conventions is being pushed
forward by the contractors ; Messrs.
Steinmeitch & Ileilenberger , with great
vigor. They fcave had a force of forty-
five carpenters at work on it for four
weeks , and an immense amount of
work has been done. One of the1 most
diflicult jobs they have had on hand
was the taking down of the immense
elevator shaft , running to the top of
the building. Only 'a few timbers of
this now remain. Unlike the hall con
structed four years ago , this one will
have , not one sounding board , but two ,
one at each end. That at the south end
is already finished. It is an immense
affair , starting : fifteen feet from the
floor of the gallery , " and running at an
angle of forty-five degrees forward to
the ceiling. The parquette floor will
have a descent from rear to front of'five
feet. The contractors are satisfied that
their work will be finished according
to agreement by May 19. In the mean
time , other mechanics are getting in
their work also. The gas-fitters have
put in sixteen large rings of t burners to
illuminate the area of the hall and 250
extra burners to light the aisles and
passage ways. The painters are also
at work on the ceiling , endeavoring in
vain to give it an esthetic appearance
by a liberal application olblue and red
paint. Therejis every reason to be
lieve that by the appointed time tlie
conventions will have a hall for1 their
purposes better than any other the con
tinent could offer them , and much
cooler and quieter and more conven
ient than' the republican convention
had four years ago in the same build ;
The Chicago committee of arrange
ments will probably hold a meeting
early next week as soon as Mr. B. P.
Moulton , chairman'of the finance com
mittee , returns from the east , where
he was called by the death of a rela
tive. The various sub-committees of
the Chicago committee have been hold
ing meetings and attending to the va
rious interests committed to their
charge , so that when the full commit
tee meets it is probable that they will
be able to report considerable and
satisfactory progress. The committees
on transportation , the press , printing ,
official reporting , music , decoration , ,
employes , etc. , will submit reports for
action by the full eommitteo. It is
probable that the sub-committee of the
national committee will hold at least
one more meeting in Chicago before
'the meeting of the entire national com
mittee on May 81 , the Saturday preced
ing the convention. The 'sub-commit
tee will have a great deal to attend to ,
as the disposition and distribution of
the tickets will be in their hands. They
w'ill.have to allot space to. the newspa
pers , which are constantly sending ap
plications for accommodations for
their correspondents. This will be one
of the most diflicult as well as one of
the most thankless tasks that can be im
agined , for no matter how wisely the
committee may act , it. will be impossi
ble to please all the applicants for
seats , and more or less kicking'is sim
ply inevitable. Hon. John C. New ,
chairman of the sub-committee , will
have both his hands full.
The leading railroads of the coun
try have made liberal concessions to
the local committee of arrangements
for the republican national convention ,
through the solicitation of the sub
committee on transportation of which
Gen. Joseph Stockman is chairman.
A Wall street millionaire has received
a begging letter asking for § 25,000 to
establish a home-wfor ' 'decayed point-
givers" on the financial situation.
An old bachelor died at East Alburg ,
Vt. , the other day , and ' § 60,000 in
bonds , notes and certificates were
found in. the linings of his clothes.
Dr. Bread says that Howard , the
great philanthropist who crossed the
seas to 'relieve ' the1 distressed , was a
brute and a tyrant to his own family ,
and that his cruel treatment caused the
death of his wife. The doctor is of the
opinion that even the extraordinary be
nevolence of Howard was one of the
symptoms of the disease in his brain.
A young man who was sent the other
day by the Roxbury , Mass. , court to
the house of correction for four months
had on his person a diary , which indi
cated that by begging he had secured
about $2.50 or $3 a day , and that he
had been in the habit of having a
"good time. " Nearly ev.ery evening
was marked as costing twenty-five
cents for admission to a theater , con
cert or skating rink.
The Bombay Gazette states that the
Mahommedans of that presidency do
not believe the Soudan pretender to be
the "Imam Mahdi , " or true Mahdi , yet
regard him. as a "Musjid , " or spiritual
guide. The true Mahdi , they believe ,
will appear about the close of the
present century as witness to the com
ing of Mahomet. They also , it is said ,
entertain the curious belief that he is
destined to experience no fewer than
thirteen defeat's before victory finally
crowns his arms.
If the Mexican periodical , La Patria ,
is a representative of the religious feel
ing that exists in that country , the mis
sionaries who are now trying to con
vert the heathen should be recalled
and shipped to Mexico , where they
will find a more civilized country in
which to promulgate their doctrines.
A recent number of that periodical was
irreligious enough to contain several
humorous as well as profane carica
tures of the Lord , His apostles and His
Wyatt Hare , of Nelson , Va. , just
dead , had some peculiarities , among
them this one : He never bought a
match. A fire , either open or banked ,
was kept up continually on the hearth.
In this he trod in the footsteps of his
father , arid the fire upon that one
hearth was a continuous fire for" more
than a hundred years.
Following the American Custom.
Norwich , Conn. , Bulletin.
A Chinese laundryman called in at a
Norwich grocery store a day .or two
ago and asked for permission to ride to
the West Side on the grocer's wagon.
The grocer expressed his willingness to
do so slight a favor foV him and as
sured him he was welcome to the ride.
The beaming face of the Chinaman
showed a hearty acknowledgment of
the favor , while his tongue rattled out
in pigeon English : "Blink ? Blink ? "
The grocer could not interpret the salu
tation , and witnessing his confusion the
laundryman said : "Blinkee whiskee ? "
The grocer then realized that the grate
ful Chinaman , in the generosity of his
heart , wished to treat in recognition of
the kindness , after the most approved
American fashion. When he declined
with thanks a broad grin spread itself
upon that Oriental .countenance and
"John" said : "Skusee ! Skusee ! I
tinks all Melican man blinkee whiskee.
But no knowee. " *
Black satine , gored and finished with
two or three narrow kilted flounces , is
most useful aa an unaerskirt to wear
with black walking dresses , or as a
dress-skirt for the house with a lighter
The day has ended and the sun has set ,
Unfinished Is the task I planned , to do ;
1 sit and ponder o'er with deep regret
The golden sunlight vanished from my
And thus full oft at'last when ! life doth
cfose , '
And toll f ended for the rostlessjfeet ,
And for the busy hands the lone : repose ,
The cherished work of life IB Incomplete.
O Thou who knowest all ; from sun to sun ;
From birthday morning to death's evenIng -
Ing chill ,
Look on Thy children , with their tasks un
In loving kindness , and forgive them
[ J. Chandler , Melvln ,
And the Old Games are Still Worked on
New York Herald.
"Now , then , who'll have three more
for a dollar ? " said the "fakir" to a
crowd near Chatham Square , New
York , as he folded up a crisp $10 note
and apparently deposited it in a pretty
little pink box. "Here , you take 'em , "
holding out three boxes with the end of
a bill peeping temptingly out in plain
sight of the verdant-looking youth ap
pealed to. The young man held off ,
however , and the operator opened the
box and showed him the $10 note he
might have hadlfor SI. The man once
more shuffled up the box in his bag and
went through the same performance.
A youth who had been watching him
with cupidity blazing in his eyes sud
denly produced $1 and took three
"Don't open here , " warned the
"fakir , " but the purchaser heeded not.
Two boxes contained pieces of newspa
per , the third the 10. The young man's
face shone with delight.
"Wasn't I lucky ? ' ' he exclaimed.
Two men at once invested and a col
ored girl , resplendent in garments of
old gold and blue , also wooed fortune.
This trio went off without disclosing
their find. The young man who had
won sauntered off and the reporter fol
lowed and caught up with him.
"Isn't that game rather ancient for
the Bowery ? " the reporter inquired.
The young man looked at his ques
tioner for a moment and then replied :
"Well , yes ; can't catch on with it
very well now. "
"How many dollars' worth do you
and your partner get rid of here in a
day , and who are the victims ? "
"Ob , we can make $18 or $20 a day
here ; not much , of course , but enough
to pay us for getting ready for the
country fairs , where we- coin wealth.
The people who bite here are mostly
young men. from up the river doing the
city ; but once in awhile a very 'fly'
New Yorker , who thinks he knows the
racket buys the boxes intended for the
capper' and gets badly left. The cur
rency is not there. "
"How is the trick done ? "
"The .operator takes genuine bank
note , when the boxes kare not going off
lively , and puts it in one. If anyo'ne
except his partner attempts to buy ,
why he palms the box when passing it.
The seductive paper resembling a
bank bill , is merely a piece of an old
beer or tobacco stamp. "
William Judge , a negro 19 years old ,
who lately arrived from Jamaica , and
is living at No. 237 Navy street , Brook
lyn , was walking down Fulton street ,
that city , to the ferry on Wednesday
afternoon , when another colored mau
accosted him.
"How's friend Weaver ? " the man
Ooked. Judge replied that he knew no
one of that name.
"You don't ? " said the man. "Now ,
that's singular. I thought I knew you.
and I had a job for you. I'm employ
ed by a physician to engage eight bright
young men to distribute cards for him.
Now , you're a bright young fellow ;
how'd you like the job ? "
Judge , who is out of work , accepted
the offer with alacrity , and started
with his new friend for the physician's
office. They had gone only a few
steps when a white man stopped them.
He had straws sticking to his clothes ,
wore a brass watch chain and seemed
to be from the country.
"I want to show you something , " he
said , addressing Judge and displaying
five business cards. "It's the latest
thing out. Here are five cards , and
one ot them has the number 50 on the
back. * Now I throw them around and
I'm betting you can't pick out the 50.
I couldn't till I was told how. "
Judge's friend nudged him to call
his attention to a faint finger mark on
that particular card. Then he searched
his pockets. "I ain't got a cent , " he
whispered to Judge. "You lend me
some money and I'll give you half of
what I win. We ' can make a big stake
out of it. " "
Judge unsuspectingly handed over
to his friend four $5 bills , all the
money he had. This was staked , the
cards were shuffled , the man drew one ,
which was , of course , the wrong one ,
and the white man pocketed Judge's
money. Judge in dismay demanded
the return of his money. His friend
first tried to pacify- him , and then
promised that if Judge would come
over to New York with him he would
borrow $20 from the physician previ
ously mentioned , and "would repay
Judge. The latter agreed to this , and
the three men came over to New York.
Judge's friend entered a building in
Broadway , near Fulton street , telling
his companions to-wait in the street
for him. They waited some twenty
minutes. Then the white man be
came impatient.
"What keeps him so long ? " he said.
Then turning to Judge he added :
"We don't want to wait here all night.
Suppose you go and hurry him up. "
Judge then cheerfully ran up jix
flights of stairs and hunted through
the building , but could not find either
his friend or the physician. He did
discover that there was a side entrance
to the building. In great perplexity
he started to join the white man in the
street and was thunderstruck when he
discovered that that worthy had also
Jij ]
Some of oar b'asovball'players'seom
to have been vaccinated. They can't
catch anything.
The indulgent father spares the rod
and lets his son go fishing. [ Cincin
nati Commercial Gazette. . . .
Original jokes will bo received when
accompanied by a $5 bill , not neces
sary for publication , but as a guarantee
of good faith. [ Chicago Sun.
"IthoWht'you' a flame of Miss
Bullion , Mr. Deed , " said Slim , "t 1
thought so , too , " said the other ,
"until the old man fired mo out .one
night. "
Noble sentiment by a Washington
department clerk : "Let me but draw
the nation's .salary , and I care not who
does its work. " [ Chicago Herald.
Pocahontos was the first female who
refused to make a "mash. " [ Newman
Independent. And the last one up to
the time of going to press. [ Boston
The prevailing fashion for babies this
spring will be six feet of clothing to
six inches of baby. Now lay your
plans and figure according. [ Clinton
A camel will work for seven or eight
days without drinking. In this he
differs from some men who will drink
seven or eight days without working.
[ Lowell Courier.
Advice for May.
Warm weather , with its debilitating
influences , is already approaching.
The blood is still thick and rich , as
compared with its state in warm
weather , and needs improving. This
is effected in two different ways. The
blood , of course , is made from the
food , which , lik'e milk , partakes of the
nature of the materials from which it
is made , the summer and winter food
differing as much as our clothing. This
is inferred from the varying appetite ,
the carbonaceous elements being de
manded in the winter and in cold cli
mates , such as the sweets , oils and
the starches , while the sub acid fruits ,
the succulent vegetables , etc. , are de
manded in warm weather. One fact
should be remembered , that the weath
er often' changes more rapidly , more
abruptly than the appetite. Hence the
danger that the appetite may not fairly
guide in the selection of food , the dan
ger being that the cold weather appe
tite may be continued too long. If so ,
the system being burdened by an ex
cess of carbon , stomach and liver de
rangements will legitimately result. It
is best , therefore , on the first appear
ance of warm weather , to , use use less
and less of these "heaters , " thus re
lieving the organs of digestion , avoid
ing "biliousness , " whafever that term
may imply. Perhaps there is more
probability of the excessive use of
sugar and fine flour , with pastry , at
this season , than of other articles ,
since the pleasantness to the taste may
exert an influence. The appetite
is a natural guide , but it is
not as reliable in health as in
sickness , and not as certainly so dur
ing the intermediate stale as in the
middle of the winter or summer. But
the appearance of the fruit and veget
ables , in their peculiarities , indicates V
plainly what course to pursue. The
strawberries and currants , for exam
ple , show us what is right in this re
spect , being more acid tnan those fal
lowing them , even in warmer weather ,
after the blood has been purified and
thinned and the appetite has been reg
ulated. These acids are of the utmost
importance in 'their influence on the
liver , exciting that organ to perform
its work of purifying the blood , elimi
nating the carbon and the general
waste from tbe brain and nerves , so
that the heart and lungs may not spe
cially suffer. And more , while there
is a .tendency at this time to constipa
tion , the increased secretion of this
"bile" or waste which is a natural
cathartic' ' tends to remove all obstruc
tions , so regulating the system as to
prevent the more usual diseases of the
season. But , if these acids are needful
now , the use of that winter food su
gar counteracting their beneficial ef
fects , ruust be inappropriate in the
usual quantities. It is believed that a
moderate use of bread with the ber
ries , the early vegetables , the canned
fruit , etc. , would do much to prevent
spring diseases. This implies but mod
erate use of butter , sugar , meats the
lean only while fish , as the plain cod
and the like , may supplant much of
the winter food. The potatoes , most
ly water and starch , will afford
enough of the carbon for the season , a
simple form of this needed element.
Such food will tend to arouse the tor
pid liver and keep all in order.
No Need to Drown.
N. V. Bun.
"I always dread the return of the
season when sea bathing is indulged
in , " said a gentleman. "My family
have had several'narrow escapes , and
still they have a perfect mania for the
water. "
"Why , there is no need to be afraid , "
answered his friend , "if you but retain
your presence of mind. When you
find yourself in deep water yon will
sink at first , but if you do not struggle
you'will come quickly to the surface
again. On reaching it immediately
drawn a full breath and throw your
head back. This will have the effect
of placing you in a recumbent position
on the surface of the water. Now , this
is a most critical moment for those who
do not know what to do next. Extend
your arras at once on a level with your
shoulders , with the palms of your hands
downward , and begin gently paJdling
in the water with the movement of the
wrist only. Extend your legs quietly
and slowly in a line with the body.
If you raise your arms , your legs or J
your body above the surface of the
water you will sink , but if you have the
presence of mind not to do so and not
to struggle about , you will never sink ,
so long as you keep paddling gently
without exertion. So you may float on
until you are picked up , or until you
are numbed by the cold. "
The most expensivu book ever pub
lished by a single individual is Lord
Kingsborough's . "Mexico. " It has
seven volumes , with 1,000 colored illus
trations , and cost $300,000.