President Taft Sends Special Message to Con
gress Recommending Prevention of Land
Frauds , Control of Water Power , Fos
tering of Soils and Kindred Subjects
Washington. Jan. 14 Following IB
the complete text of the special mcs-
nngo on thu conservation of the na
tion's resources Bout to the si-nato
and House of repit-HfritnttrcB by Pres-
Idunt Taft today :
To the Henate and Hour * of Representa
tive * :
In my nnniiul incnsaRi * I rosiuved the
ubject r > f thn conservation ( it our na
tional resources for fllapo-uilon In u spo-
lftl mc.'suKe , B follow * :
In several fli-piutinrntr. Ilicrr In pre
sented thu necessity ( or l cltUtlnn look-
tuff to the further ronsi-i vntlon of our
national resources , anil tlie Kiihjriit I * on *
of Buch imporiunco tin to rrnnlru n morn
dotallfd find extended dUeu.Msloti than
ran be entered upon In llit.i cninmunleii'
tlon. For tlut roiiMm 1 klinll lalie 1111
early opportunity lit send Hpcclul inns-
iROge to iniicrcH * on thu sulijccl of tha
.Improvement . of our wuterwajs , upon tin.1
iroclaiimtlon nnit Irrigation of nrld. mnnl-
'arlil and HWIUIIP lanln. | upon the preacr-
ivatlon of our forests find Hie re-foresting
vet HUlJahle ureas ; upon Hie rivr-lnaslllua-
( tlon of the public doninln with a view of
ucparntlriR from iiKrleulturiil settlement
mineral , con I anil plin&plmle l.uids and
ultes lielonslnir to thp ov eminent hor-
iderlnK on streams KiiltaliU for ( lie mill-
'ration ' of water power.
In 1FGO wo hud u public doninln of l.fXft.-
911,288 acres. We Imvc noxv 7.11.351.USI
nrrea , confined largely in tin ! inniiiitaln
rnngr.i rind the nrld und sornl-arld plum * .
We have. In addition. 2'iiUiVJT.S iuir : of
land In Alnslcn ,
Disbursement of Public Land * .
The public lands were , rtiitln ; ; the enrll-
eat adinltilsti.Hlotia. ( rented as u national
, nssct for the Ilipildatlon of thn public
debt find as n source of reward for our
Holdlcrn and KI. lorn , l.alor on they wera
donated In larjje ainounln In aid of ( ho
construction of wunoii Hindu nnd rail
ways , In oidpr to open up region In the
west then almost Inaccessible.- All the
prlnclpnl land qtntlltPi were -iiiieled morn
tlmn n oiinrler of a rpiiliuv MKO Thn
homestead art. the pre-emption and Um
ber-culture net. tlio coal land and the
rulnliiK nels were nmoiiK HiKO
The rapid deposition of the public land.i
under the earlj- statutes , and thn lux
niethod.i of dlntrlbiitlon piovnlllng , duo. t
think , to the belief that Iheso landn
mould rapidly pass Into p-lvato owner
ship , gave rise to the Impression that
the public domain wax le lthnato prey
for thn unscriipnloiiR and thai It was not
contrary to Rood morals * lo elicunwont
the liinil laws. This pro'llcal tnaniiRr of
disposition resulted- th'o P.IKSIIIK of
ilargo ureas of valuable land and many
of our national resources Into the hands
of persona who felt llttlo or no respuusl-
lilllty for promoting thn nallouul > v l-
fui > through their doveloptnonl.
Fraudulent Titles.
The truth In that litln to million * of
nerea of public lands was fraudulently
obtained and that thn rlsht id recover n
largo part of such lands for the covern-
mont long slncn eoaned by ieanon of stat
utes of limitations. Thorn ban developed
In recent years a. dpp'i eonce-Mi In thn
public mind respecting the p"'s rvntlon
and proper URO of our natural ie.xourc.es.
This 1ms been particularly dliected
toward the conservation of the. resourro *
of the public domain A vast amount of
discussion has appeared In the public
prints In generalized form on this sub.
iject , but there has been llttlo practical
nugeejitlon. It has been easy to say that
the natural resources in fuel supply , in
forests , In water power , nnd In other
public utllltlcK. must be saved from
wa'ste. monopoly , and other abuses , and
the general public Is In accord with this
'proposition , as they are with most
truisms. The. ptoblem. however. Is how
to save and how to ulllbe. how to con
serve and still develop , for no sane per-
on can contend that It Is for the com
mon good that nature's lilt-strings nra
only for unborn generations
Noteworthy Reforms.
1 Among the most noteworthy reforms
Initiated by my distinguished predecessor
were the vigorous prosecution of land
frauds and the bringing lo public alien-
tlou of the necessity for preserving thn
remaining public domain from further
spoliation , for thn maintenance and UK-
Itonulon of our forest resources , nnd for
the enactment of laws amending thn ob-
EOlctc statutes so as to intaln govern
mental control over that part ( if the pub-
lie domain In which there are valuable
deposits of coal , of oil , rind of phosphate ,
Innd , Iu addition thereto , to preserve con
trol , under conditions favorable to the
public , of the lands along the streams In
'which the fall of water ean bo made to
Benerate power to l-e transmitted In thn
form of electricity many miles to thn
point of Its use , known as "watur power"
Bites ,
The Investigations Into violations of the
public land laws and the prosecution of
land frauds have been vigorously con
tinued under my administration , as has
been the withdrawal of real lauds for
classification and valuation nnd the tem
porary withholding of power sites Sluco
March 4. 1900 , temporary withdrawals of
power sites have upon made on 102
streams and these withdrawals therefore
cover iCD per cent , moro streams than
were covered by the withdrawals made
prior to that date.
The present statutes , except so far
us they dlnpOHo of the precious metals
and the purely agricultural lands , are
not adapted to carry out thn modern
view of the best disposition of public
landH to private ownership , under con
ditions offcrltiK on the one hand an ( II-
clent Inducement to private capital to
talco them over for proper develop
ment , with restrictive conditions on
the other which shall secure to thn
public that character of control which
will prevent a monopoly or misuse of
the lands or their products. The power
of the secretory of the Interior to with
draw from tiie operation of existing
statutes tractH of land , the disposition
of which under Kiich statutes would
be detrimental to the public Interests
la not clear or satisfactory. This power
has been exerclncd In the Interest of
the public , with the hope that congress
might adlrm the action of the execu
tive by laws adapted to the new condi
tions. Unfortunately , congress has not
thus fnr fully acted on the recommen
dations of the executive , and the ques
tion as to what the executive Is to
do Is under the circumstances , full of
dllllculty. It seems to me that It IB
the duty of congress now. by n statute.
to validate the withdrawals which
linve been made by the secretary of the
interior and the president ami to use
the secretary of the interior temporar
ily tp withdraw lands ppn'llng eubmls-
Jail to congress of reconxnendationa as
to legislation to meet conditions or
emergencies as they arlne.
Properly to Classify Lands.
One of the most pressing needs In
thn matter of public-land reform in
that lands -.hould be ctnHnldod accordIng -
Ing to their principal valun use. This
oiiKtil to be clone by that or department
whose form la he.it adapted to that
work It should bo done by the Inter
ior department through thu geological
survey. Much of confusion , fraud , nnd
contention which ban oxlnted In the
present has arisen from the lack of
an nlllclnl and determinative classifi
cation of the public lands and their
contents.
It In now proposed to dlsponn of ag
ricultural landH ns mieh. nnd at the.
oamr lime to rnsorvo fnr olhor dlsponl-
tlon the treasure of coal , oil , nshphal-
Him. natural nan nnd phoaphntn non-
tnlned therein. This may bo bout ac
complished by separating thn right
to inlnn from the title to the nurfnce.
ilvlnK the necesnary usn of NO much of
the latter n may bo required for the
extraction of the deposit * . Thn surface
face- might he disposed of tin agricul
tural land under the general agricul
tural statutes , whllo thn coal nr other
mineral could be disposed of by leasn
on n royalty har.ls. with the provliilons
requiring n certain amount of develop
ment each year ; nnd In order to pro-
vnnt thn UNO nnd cession of said lands
with others of similar character so as
to ronntltutn a , monopoly forbidden by
law. the lease should contain suitable
provision sublecting to forfeiture the
interest of persons participating In
Much monopoly. Kuch law should ap
ply to Alaokn as well na to thu United
States.
Statute Difficult to Frame.
It Is exceedingly dldlcult to frame
n statute to retain government control
nvnr n property to be developed by
private capital In mich n , manner ns
to Roctirn the wovcrumentnl purpose
nnd nt the nnrno time not frighten
away thu Investment of. the necosmiry
capital Hence. It may bo necnssary
by InwH that urn really only experi
mental to determine from their prac
tical operation what Is the best
method of iicciirlng the result aimed at.
The extent of the vnMin of phosphate
li hardly realized , nnd with the need
tlmt thuro will be fur It 'ns the ycnrs
roll on nnd the necessity for fertiliz
ing thn bind Hlinll become morn acute ,
thin will bo a product which will prob-
iLbtv attract the greed of monopolists
Public Land Along Streams.
With respect to the public land
which lies along the streams offering
opportunity to convert water power
Into transmissible olectrlclty. another
Impntlnnt phase of the public bind
question Is presented. There are val-
unbtu water power sites through all
the public land states. The opinion
In held that the trannTer of sovereignty
from the federal government to the
tcrtltorinl governments as they become
states. Included the water power In
the rivers except HO fnr as that owned
by riparian proprietors. I do not
think it necessary to go Into discussion
of this tiniiic.whnt mooted ( mention of
law. It seema to me sulllcient to say
that the man who owns nnd controls
the land along the stream from which
the power Is to bo converted nnd trnns-
mltted. owns land which Is Indispens
able to the conversion and use of that
power. I cannot concelvo how the
power In streams flowing through pub
lic lands uau bo made available at all
except by using the hind Itself as the
slto for the construction of the plant
by which the power Is generated and
converted and securing a. right of way
thurcover for transmission Hues. Un
der these condition , If the government
owns the ndjacnnt land Indued. If the
government IB the riparian owner It
may control the use of the water power
by Imposing proper conditions on the
disposition of the land necessary In the
creation and utilization or the water
power.
Value of Water Power.
Thn development In electrical appli
ances for the conversion of the water
power Into electricity to ba transmitted
long distances has progressed so far that
It Is no longer problematical , but It Is a
certain Infciencc. that In the future the
power of thv water falling In thu streams
to u large cxliint will InUo thn place of
natural fuels. In the disposition of the
domain already granted , many water
newer situs have como under absolute
ownership , nnd may dilft Into one own
ership , so that all the water power under
prlvaln ownership shall ho n monopoly.
If. however , the water power sites now
owned by the government mid there are
enough of thcm-shall be dl < po < ied of to
prlvnto peisons tor the Investment of
their capital In nucli n way as to prevent
their union fur purposes of monopoly
with other water power slles. nnd under
conditions that Hlmll limit the right of use
to not ovipwdlug thirty years with renewal
privileges nnd some equitable me.ins of
fixing teims of rental and with proper
means for determining n reasonable giad-
uited lental , It would seem entirely pos
sible lo prevent the absorption of these
most useful lands by a power monopoly.
As long as the government iclalns con
trol and can prevent Ihelr Improper union
ullh other plants , competition must be
maintained nnd price * ! < cpt leasonabln.
Soils Must Be Conserved.
In considering tile coudervatlon of the
nuturaI resources of the country , thu fea
ture that tr.mscunds all otheis. Including
woods , waters , minerals. Is the soil of thu
country. It Is Incumbent upon the gov
ernment to foster by all available means
the resources of the country I hat ptnduco
the food of the people To this end the
conservation of the soils of the country
should bo cared for with all means at the
government's disposal Their pioductlve
powers should have the attention of our
scientists that we may consulvo the now
soils. Improve the old soils , drain wei
soils , ditch swamp soils , leven ilvcr over-
How soils , grow trce.s on thin soils , pas
ture hillside soils , rotate crops on nil
soils discover methods for cropping dry
land soils , Und grasses and legumes for
all soils , feed grains and null feeds on
the farms where they originate , that the
soils irom which they come may be en
riched
A work of the utmost Importance to In
form nnd instinct the public on this chief
branch of the conservation of our re
sources Is being carried on successfully
In the department of agriculture : but It
ought not to efccnpn public attention that
Mate action In addition to that of the de
partment of agriculture ( as for Instance
In tl.e dralimfio of swnmp lands ) Is e -
senllBl to the best treatment of the noils
In th manner above Indicated.
The act by which. In aeml-nrld parts oj
the public domain , thp area of the home-
Hi end linn been enlarged from 160 to 320
acres II.TB resulted most beneficially In
the extension of "dry farming" and In
the demonstration which has been made
of the possibility , through a variation In
the character and mode of culture , of
mining substantial crops without the
presence of nuch a supply of water nD
ImH been heretofore thought to bo neces
sary for agriculture
Hut there are millions of acres of com
pletely nrld land In the public domain
which , by the establishment of reservoirs
for the sirring of water nnd the Irri
gation of the lands , may bo made much
more fruitful and productive than the
best lands In a climate where the mois
ture comes from the clouds. Congress
recognized the Importance of this method
of artificial distribution of water on the
nrld lands by the passage of the reclama
tion net. The proceeds of the public
lands creates the fund to build the works
needed to store nnd furnish the neces
sary water , nnd It was left to the secre
tary of thn Interior to determinewlmt
projects should bo started among those
suggested ntid to direct the reclamation
service , with the funds ut hand nnd
through the engineers In Its employ , to
construct the works ,
No onn can. visit the far west nnd the
country of nrld nnd scml-urld lands with
out being convinced that this Is one of
the most Important methods of the con-
nervation of our natural resources that
the government has entered upon. It
would nppear that over SO projects have
boon undertaken , and thitt n few of
these nrn likely to be unsuccessful be
cause of lack of water , or for other rea
sons , but generally the work which has
been done has been well done , And many
Important engineering problems have
been met and solved.
Funds Inadequate for Service.
One of the difficulties which linn
arisen In that too many projects In
view of the nvnllnble funds have been
net on foot. The funds available under
the reclamation statute arc Inadequate
to complete these projects within n
reasonable time. And vet the projects
have been bngun ; settlers have been
Invited to take up and. In many In-
ntnnces. hnve taken up. the public land
within the projects , relying upon their
prompt completion. The failure to
complete the projects for their benefit
Is. In effect , n breach of faith and.
leaves them In n most distressed con
dition. I urge that the nation ought
to afford the means to lift thorn out of
the very desperate condition In which
they now nrc.
This condition does not Indicate any
excessive waste or nny corruption on
the part of the reclnmatlon service. It
only Indicates an ovor-zenlous desire
to extend the benefit of reclnmntlon
to a many acres nnd ns many states
ns possible. I recommend , therefore , ,
that authority bo given to Issue , not
exceeding J30.000.000 of bonds from
time to time , na the secretary of the
Interior shall llnd It necessary , the
proceeds to be npplicd to the comple
tion of the projects already begun nnd
their proper extension , and the bonds
running ton ycnrs or morn to be taken
tip by thn proceeds of returns to the
reclamation fund , which returns , ns
I be yeais go on. will Increase rapidly
iu amount.
There Is no doubt nt nil that If
these bonds were to bo allowed to run
ten years , the proceeds from the public
lands , together with the rentals for
water furnished through the completed
enterprise ! ! , would quickly c.rento n
sinking fund largo enough to rctlro
the bondn within thn times specified. I
hope that , while the statute shall provide
vide- that thcso bonds nro to bo p\ld :
out of the reclamation fund. It will be
drawn In such n way as to secure In
terest at the lowest rate , nnd that the
credit of the United States will be
pledged for their redemption.
1 urgn consideration of the recom
mendations of the secretary of the
Interior In bis annual report for
amendments of the reclamation act.
proposing other relief for settlers on
these projects.
New Law Requisite.
Respecting the comparatively small
timbered areas on the public domain not
Included In national forests bccausn of
their Isolation or their special valiw for
agricultural or mineral purposes , It Is ap
parent from the evils resulting by vir
tue of the Imperfections of existing laws
for the disposition of timber lands that
the r.cts of June 3 , 1S7S , should bo re
pealed nnd n law enacted for the dispo
sition of the , timber nt public sale , thn
lands after the removal of the timber to
be subject to appropriation under thu
agricultural or mineral land laws.
What I have said Is really an epitome
of thn recommendations of the secretary
of the Interior In respect to thn future
conservation of the public domain In his
present nnnunl report. He has given
close attention to the problem of disposi
tion of these lands under such condltloiiH
as to Invite the private capital necessary
to their development on the one hand ,
and the maintenance of the restrictions
necessary to prevent monopoly and abuse
from absolute ownership on the other.
These recommendations are Incorporated
In bills ho has prepared , and they are at
thu disposition of the congress. I earnest
ly recommend that nil thn suggestions
which ho has mndo with respect to these
lands shall bo embodied In statutes and ,
especially , that the withdrawals already
made shall bo valldatud so far ns neces
sary nnd thnt doubt ns to the authority
of the secretary of thn Interior to with
draw lands for thn purpose of submitting
recommendations us to future disposition
of them where new legislation Is needed
shall be made complete anil unquestioned
Disposition of Forest Reserves.
The forest reserves of the United
States , some IW.DOO.O-X ) acres In extent , are
under thn contiol of the department of
agilcultutc. with authority adequate to
pieservc them and to extend their growth
so far as that may be practicable. The
l-nportance of the maintenance of our
forests cannot be exaggerated. The possi
bility of n KclcntltU' tiealment of fon-sts
no thnt they Khali bu made to yield a
hngo return In tlmbeilihout really re
ducing thn supply has been demonsti.Ued
In oilier count rim. ami wo should worK
toward the stand.irtl tet by them as far
as their mtitbuds. 1110 applicable/ our
conditions.
Upwards of four hundred millions ncros
of forest land In this country are In pri
vate ownership , but only three per cent ,
of It 19 holng treated scientifically and
with u view to the maintenance of the
forest * . The part played by the forests
In thn equalization of the supply of wa'er
on watersheds Is a matter of discussion
and dispute , but the general benellt to b.i
derived by the public from the extension
of forest lands on watersheds and tbr
promotion of the growth of trees In
places th.it nro now denuded nnd tlmt
once hod great flourishing forests , goes
wlthnut Raying. The conliol to be exer
cised over pilvnte owners In their treat
incut of the forests which they own la a ,
matter for state nnd not national regu
lation , because thuro Is nothing In thn
constitution thnt authorizes the federal
government to exercise nny control over
forests within a state , unless the forests
are owned In n proprietary way by the
federal government
Improvement of River.
1 come now to the Improvement of the
Inland waterways. He would bo blind
Indeed , who did not realize that the pee
pie of the far west , and especially those
of the Mississippi valley , have been
aroused to the nerd there Is for the Im
provement of our Intend waterways
The Mississippi river , with the Missouri
on the one hand nnd the Ohio on the
other , would seem to offer a great nat
ural means of Interstate transportation
and tratllc. How far. If properly Impruieu
thny would relieve the railroads or sup
plement them In respect to thu bulkier
und cheaper commodities Is a matter of
conjecture. No cntcrprlre ought to b
undertaken the co.st of which Is not def
initely ascertained and the benellt and
advantage of which nrc not known nnd
nssured by competent engineers and other
authority AVhen. however , a project of
n deflnlto character for the Improvement
of a waterway had been developed BO
that the plans have been drawn , the cost
definitely estimated , and the truffle
which will bo accommodated Is reason
ably probable I think It Is the duty of
congress to undertake the project nnd
make provision thetofor In the proper ap
propriation bill.
One of the projects which answers th
description I have given Is that of Intro
ducing dams Into the Ohio river from
Plttsburg to Cairo , so as to maintain at
all seasons of the year , by slack water ,
a depth of nine feet. Upward of seven
of these dams have already been con
structed and six tire under construction ,
while the total required. Is 60 , The re
maining cost Is known to bo $63,000,000.
It seems to mo that In the development
of our Inland wnte.rways It would be
wise to begin with this particular project
and carry It through ns rapidly as may
be. I assume from reliable Information
that It can be constructed economically
In ten years. I recommend , therefore ,
that thn public lands. In river and har
bor bills , make pi ovision for continuing
contracts to complete this Improvement ,
and I shall recommend In the future , It
It be necessary , that bonds ba Issued to
carry It through.
What has been said of the Ohio river
Is true In a less complete way of the Im
provement of the upper Mississippi from
St. Paul to St. Ixiuls to a constant depth
of six feet , and ot the Missouri , from
Kansas City to St. T.otils to a constant
depth of six tatt and from St. Louis to
Cairo of n depth of eight feet. Thesa
projects have been pronouncad practical
by competent boards of army engineers ,
their cost has been estimated and there
Is business which will follow the Im
provement.
As these Improvements are being made ,
nnd the traffic encouraged by them shows
Itself of sulllcient Importance , the Im
provement of the Mississippi beyond
Cairo down to the gulf , which Is now
going on with the maintenance ot a depth
of nine feet everywhere , may be changed
to another and greater depth If the neces
sity for It shall nppear to arise out of the
traffic which can bo delivered on the riv r
ut Cairo.
.Cheap Rail Rate Necessary.
I nm Informed tlmt the Investigation
by the waterways commission In Kurope
shows that the existence of a waterway
by no means assures traffic unless there
Is traffic adapted to water carriage at
cheap rates at one end or thn other of
the stream. It also appears In Europe
thnt the depth of the streams Is rarely
more thnn six feet , nnd never moro than
nine. But It Is certain that enormous
quantities of merchandise nro transported
over 'thn rivers nnd canals In Germany
nnd France nnd England , nnd It Is also
certain that thn existence of such meth
ods of trnlllc materially affects the rates
which the railroads charge , and It Is the
best regulator of these rates that wo
have , not even excepting the govern
mental regulation through the Interstate
commerce commission. For this reason ,
I hope that this congress will take sucb
steps that It may bo called the Inaugurator -
rater of the new system of Inland water
ways. For reasons which It Is not nec
essary here to state , congress has seen
nt to order an Investigation Into the In
terior department and the forest service
of the agricultural department. The re
sults of tlmt Investigation are not needed
to deteimlne the value of , and the ne
cessity for , the pew legislation which I
hn n recommended In respect to the pub
lic lands and In respect to reclamation. I
earnestly urge that the measures be tak
en up nnd disposed of promptly without
awaiting the investigation which has been
determined upon.
upon.WILLIAM H. TAFT.
A Bird's Savings Bank.
In California the woodpecker stores
anorns nway , although he never eat3
them. lie bores several holes , differ
ing slightly in size , nt the fall or the
year , invariably in a pine tree. Then
he find an acorn , which he adjusts to
one of the holes prepared for its re
ception.
But lie docs not eat the acorn , for ,
as a rule , ho is not a vegetarian. His
object la storing away the acorns ex
hibits foresight and a knowledge of
results moro akin to reason than to
instinct. The succeeding winter the
ncorna remain intact , hut , becoming
saturated , are predisposed to decay ,
when they are attacked by maggots ,
which seem to delight in this special
food.
It Is thnn that the woodpecker
reaps the harvest his wisdom has pro
vided , at n time when , the ground be
ing covered with snow , ho would ex
perience a dllllculty otherwise in ob
taining suitable or palatable food
His "Penitentiary Den. "
"And now I must show you what I
call my penitentiary don. " said a popu
lar author. "This , " lie continued , as
he drew open a door , "is where f oc
casionally spend an hour or so when I
am developing symptoms of that by no
means uncommon malady among suc
cessful men called ' .swelled lioad. ' "
The room was a charming little
snuggery about seven feet square , the
only remarkable lenliiro of which was
the wall-covering. "II you look close
ly , " explained the host , "you will sou
that my wall paper consists , on two
sides of the rein , of those too-farnilltir
and unwelcome printed forms on
which editors express their regrets at
declining one's pot manuscripts. "
Zoological Puzzle. '
Italian zoologists have a puzzle to
solve , owing to the discovery on
Mount Bmne of the body of a white
bear , which has beou brought to Aosta.
It was thought nt first that the boar
must have died some three hundred
years ngo , and must have been pre
served by the Ice , since it haa always
boon held that white bears vanished
from the Alps thrpp centuries ago. But
It has since boon demonstrated that
death could only have taken place a
low days previous to discovery. At
this would seem to show that there
lire still white bears In the Alps , er-
pedlttons are to bo sent to test the
theory.
Tooly Lural !
"How far is it between these two
towns ? " asked the lawyer.
"About four miles ns the flow
cries. " replied the witness.
"You mean ns the cry flows. "
"No. " put in the judge , "ho means
as the lly crows "
And they all looked at each oilier ,
feeling thnt something was wrong.
Eveiybody's Magnzlno.
WOULDN'T MAKE ANY TROUBLE
Mrs. Betsey Baxter a Type of Visitor
Many of Us Have Been Called
on to Entertain.
"La , now , Miss Doolittle , don't , you
BO to n mite o1 trouble on my acount , "
aald Mrs. Hetsy Huxtor when she ar
rived unexpectedly for dinner nt the
home of Mrs. Dorctts Doolittlo. "You
know tlmt I'm a person for whom you
can JtiHt lay down an extra plate tin *
set before mo anything you happen to
have in the house. If you jtmt fry u
chicken siiinu na yon would for your
own folks , an * make up a pan o' your
tea biscuits Hint no one can beat , an *
open a glass o' your red currant jelly ,
an * have a dish o' your quince pre
serves , an * some o' that pound cake
you most itllus have in your cake Jar
you do tlmt , nn' have some plpln' hot
apple fritters , with hot maple syrup
to go with 'em , an * some o' your good
coffee nn' any vegetables you happen
to have in the house. I like sweet po
tatoes the way you bake 'cm mightily ,
but , la , just have anything else you
happen to have. I'm one that expects
an' Is williu' to cat what's set before
me , nn' no qucstlonB naked nor fault
found when I go vlsltin' . So don't
you put yourself out a mite for me.
1C you have wlmt I've mentioned nn'
anything else you wnnt to hnve I'll bo
sntlsfled. I ain't one tlmt cares very
much about wlmt I ent , anyhow. As
tlto sayin * Is , 'any old thing * will defer
for me. " Puck.
A Nasty Dig.
"As nasty a dig ns I over adminis
tered in my newspaper career in Vir
ginia City , " said Mark Twain , "wns di
rected against n man named Fer
guson.
"Ferguson , nt Christmas time , in
vited me to see the presents he hud
given his wife. They were magnificent
gifts. The man.expected , of course , a
write-up.
"Well , he wasn't disappointed. The
next day , in n prominent place on the
first page of the Enterprise , I inserted
this paragraph :
" 'John II. Ferguson's Christmas
gifts to Ills wife are being much ad
mired. They include a diamond stomacher
acher and many other beautiful speci
mens of cut glass. " "
Rich Territory Opened up.
The development of the lira/.iliau
Amazon valley must in time amount
to untold wealth. In the-states of
Para and the Amuzonns nnd the fed
eral territory of Acre there arc near
the water's edge 10,000,000 rubber-
bearing trees of the lleven variety.
Those trees if properly tapped will
live indefinitely and steadily increase
their yield. The state of Para Is con
siderably larger than Texas , and much
of it will grow excellent cotton.
The Worst of It.
"Oh , she's awful. Whenever she
tries to sing a song she simply mur
ders it. "
"Hut that's not the worst of it. If
she'd only murder is outright 1
wouldn't mind , but she tortures it &o
long. "
All Tired Out.
Do you feel dull , occasionally out ot
sorts'/ Headaches und Ulzzlness ? The
fault Is cither with your stomach or your
liver. The safe , sure and easy way to g > I
rlil of either trouble is to take NATLTKH'S
UKMKDV. Take an NH Tablet to night -
It will sweeten the stomach und regul'ito
the liver , kidneys nnd bowels. Krisv-.suro
to act. Ot a Sic Box. The A. H. Lewis
Meiltclne Co. , at. l.ouls , Mo.
Pa's Sleepy Day.
"Pa , what do you go to church for ? "
"Why er to listen to the sermon ,
of course. "
"That's what I go for , but I can't
hear It "cause you breathe so heavy "
In Demand.
"That's a very popular mini "
"Yes ; he'll listen to the details of
your summer trip without insisting on
tolling you about Ills own. "
BITTER DISAPPOINTMENT.
Kind Lady It must bo hard to find
Hint you liavo Inherited n taste for
beefsteak.
Sandy Pikes Yes , mum ; especially
when yor llnd dat yer haven't Inherit
ed do beefsteak.
Following an Illustrious Example.
" .My dear , " announced Mr. Ad. Here-
wad , "I propose to donate you ? ! ( > , to
bo applied to the purchase of one of
those new , topsy-turvy , wicker-basket
hats. "
She looked up at him , very much
Alarmed at the sudden outbreak of
generosity.
"On condition you raise an equal
amount out of the ten cents a week
pin money regularly allowed you , " llu-
Ishcd Mr. Herewnd magnanimously.
Judge.
Gave Himself Away.
"Michael , " familiarity inquired the
employer , thinking he had seen his
employe carrying one of the banners
in the St. Patrick's parade of the day
previous , iu which procession the
Irishman had laid off work to march ,
"didn't 1 see you carrying something
in the parade yesterday ? "
"Yis , " admitted Michael , blushing
scarlet , "but OI had no suspicion me
bottle made me hip pocket sh'tick out
so much ! " Illustrated Sunday Mag
azine.
George Refrained.
"George declared he would kiss the
llrst woman that passed under the
mistletoe , arid she was the colored
cook. "
"Did George kiss her ? "
"Kiss her ! 1 guess not. Nobody
dares to take any liberties with the
cook. "
Did von ever have a peed , old-fash
ioned hoy's stomach nchc ? Of course
you have. A little dose of Ilainlins Wiz
ard Oil will clinso away a colicky pain
iu thu stomach like magic.
The Stuff That Kills.
Mrs. Eenham Isn't my dress a
poem ?
Dcnham Poetry will be the death
of me.
Pettit's Eye Salve for Over 100 Years
has boon used for congested and inflamed
P.VCP , lomoves film or scum over thu eyes.
All druBgistsorllowiudUros.BuffaloN.Y.
Once there was a cook who stayed
in one place for' ' rnoro than months.
She was in a hospital , paralyzed.
K. Mnon ,
Ji-nMlfU A. l. MrtnrWtlfchlllK
D.C' Kit. < 1'J ) rs. HIT' 1 cfurc
VOUKIDKAS , Th . bring
DATPMT ytn.iy
yon
IA I UN I n Miltli. W-iinito Hook Kree. Jst ? IhMI.
Flt/Kunild C'o l' . t Att > h..lui K Wahhlnstun.D.G
" nM ulo * Thompson's Eye Water
* 8B 'V
For Infants and Children.
'wreavQ ' En
sSSlV's ' * E3
ALCOHOL-3 PER CENT < 3
AVcgetable Preparation for As
similating HieFooil amlHegula- Bears the
Jin Ihe Stomachs and Bowels of
Signatun
Promotes DigcstionjChecrful-
nessandRest.Contains neither of
Opium.Morphinc nor Mineral
NOT MARC OTIC
K ipt cfOld DrSAMVELFtrCftSK
.
I\unptin \ Slid
! silxStnna
fftxMh
to
erm > ftnf
flanft
,
A perfect Remedy forConstipa-
lion , Sour Slornach.Dinrrhoca
f Worms.Convulsions.Fevcmh-
ness and LOSS OF SLEEP
Facsimile Signature of
?
THE CENTAUR COMPANY ,
i NEW YORK.
I
I
Guaranteed under IMo Foodat
new vena cirr.
