Nebraska Newspapers

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Ii \ - I THE NEWS IN NEBRASKA I
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OVER THE STATE.
The resilIence of Mrs. Sarah Holland -
land of Tecumseh was destroyed by
11re.
The slot machines. which llll.\'e been
in Use for so man ) ' years In the business -
ness houses and saloons of 'Vest
} 'olnt , have been rdered taken out.
The management of the F111moro
, ' county fall' feel greatly encouraged
\ . ( ovcr the prospects for an unusually
successful fall" September 12 to 16.
A horse was stolen from the barn
of August ZlImer , living two ' miles
west of Stanton atHI one of 'the old
MUlers of this county. The animal Is
valued at $110.
I Doctor Edwin Oxford of Omaha and
a son of Doctor Charles Oxford'of
West . . \Hnt , has been mada. assistant
- , physician of tllO Mormon hospital of
. Salt Lalw City , Utah.
, Rov. 1\Ir. Winter , who has been pastor -
tor of tile LeIgh German Lutheran
. . : ; chu-rc of Leigh f l' the last six years ,
r. has resigned and ccepted II. similar '
, pastorate In Minnesota.
" The 13-year-old granddaughter of I
{ Mr. and 1\Irs. John Squires of Decatur
Is dead'as the result of being scalded
from head to. foot by steam fr m II.
' toy engine , \yhlch exploded.
I 'Yorle has been begun on the nctual
survey of the ilew lowll of Uehling' , on
I the Great Northern railway , three
; miles east and a half.mile south of the
I , southeast corner of Cumlng county.
! . i J. F. Berger of Dalrota county , suf.
f fored from the loss of his barn , seven
: I ' I head of horses , three calves , ono colt ,
\ besides harness , machinery , etc. , to I .
1 the amount of about $2,000 , by firo.
I Frank lams of St. Paul arrived from
I Europe with his annual importation of
draft staUons. This ) 'oar's shipment
- Is the largest he has ever made. They
are mostly Belgians and Percherons.
Harry 1\Ioore , II. ) 'oung freight bralcc-
man , whllo malting II. coupUng at Ashland -
land , slipped under the cars and was
run over , th wheels talting off ono leg
and an arm. It Is thought he cannot
live.
live.The
The Ins nity committee heard the
.
. \ b ' evidence in the case' of Sadlo Woods
: ' 'f of Wymoro , charged with being an
i habitual drunlrnrd and sentenced her
to three years i'n the insane hospital at
Lincoln.
, Philip ! \Ianshis of Buff lo count ) ' , a
i . farm hand who has been working for
Henry Newman of Prairie Center , attempted -
tempted to commit suicide by slashing -
ing his throat and both wrists with II.
pocltet Imifo In a cornfield on tbo New : . .
_ man farm.
During II. severe windstorm the
, framework of the tower on 'tho new
church at : Monterey was blown down
j and completely wrecked. The tower
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, " ; was 100 feet high , fiftyelght feet of
f : .
. bricle and fortr.two : of frame and gal.
' ' ' . vanized Iron.
' P. S. Heacocle , one of the largest
buyers of grain In the southeastern
part of the tate , has purchased the
William Douglas mill in Falls City
, and wll run it in connection with the
. . grain bURiness.
. : , Of eIghteen candidates for enlist.
ment in the United States navy ex.
amined at the recruiting station In
' ; . Lincoln last week but . six were accept.
' ' , , ed. All of the others were turned
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down for defective eyesight.
" , Lightning struck the residence of
Harry Peard , cashier of the banle of
Phillips , and tore off II. lot of shingles
and entered the house without malting
. ' . any hole. It shocleed tholr two.year-
, . old boy , but no one else was hurt.
. " . .In the district court of Dodge coun.
; . , : t' , . . : . ' , ' ty Mrs. Clara Steward was granted a
* . : ' divorce from her husband , R. W. Stew.
; t : . ' , . _ , art , on the ground of failure to sup.
' ' : " ' port and also received $900 aUmony.
, ' ' The parties are prominent in social
. . , ' circles.
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: ' : J" j' ' ; ' E. Williams of Leavitt is in the
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r 'J/ " ' ; . ) ! Dodge county jail awaiting a hearing
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'P1f' . ; - . : on the charge of bootIegglng. The
' : : / II : : : sugar town is dry : hut the employes of
; : : . .1 : \ , the factory have apparentIy had plenty
. ; . " ! ' 1. ; ' 1 ' ' ' ' ' 'f . of booze latel ' , which was brought to
. i . 'I.'J ' f F t .
, -f" ' , ; th em rom remon
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. . . I.I' - ; i ( Charles Fox of Omaha , but formerly
" 1'- . ' : , , : _ ' of Brownvllle , Nemaha 'county ' , at the
, ; " ' ; , : fall'plclted the pocket of G. W. Mer.
. hon and stole from him his gold
, ' _ : " : " ' : - watch. Fox was detected in the act
: ; . ' , . ; ; ' . . by Mershon , who gave chase and ovor.
" , , ' : N { hauled the transgressor.
J : . I. . ' ; , The Methodist church of Albion is
. \ . . , - malting extensive arrangements to en.
" ! , ' . tertaln the ministers of that district
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' , : ' ' : who will attend the arannal conference
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/ , ! that convenes on September 16. It Is
\ ; . - " expected that about 160 members ot
: \ . , the conferene w1l1 bo Inattendano. ,
Robert List , II. farm hand emplo'ed
,
by WlIIiam Oahlerltlng , who resides
, near Dalcota City , became vliolentIy In.
sane while the family was waiting for
breal.fast , and taking his pocl.et lmife
out of his pocltot made a lunge after
I Mrs. Oahlerklng ; who was prell1r1ng
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, the morning meal , and attempted te
cut her , at tno same tlmo demanding
of her why she was putting IJolsol1
in tile victuals.
Deba Rees , 2.year-old daughter 01
, T . . . ' . . _ 1' . amI Mrs. D. Rees of Norfolle , wa !
. . . serlousl ' burned the
) as result of hel
clothes catching fire from an alcoho
lamp. EllVelolJed by the ame , hel
face and hands were burned and h01
. ' hair 'SInged off. It is thought she wll
, recover. ,
The large barn on the .Tames Rich
ardson farm five miles southwest 0
: Sterling , was dostro 'ell 11) ' fire togeth
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. . - er with conshlerablo COI'l1 nnll outl
-r
nnd two nearbstacls of straw nlU
' ! . .fi. , ' " ' - ha ) ' , None of flis IIvo stocle uerlsholl
It is hollevell that chlhlrch will
ma.lches star led the firo.
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THE STATE APPROPRIATION.
Money for Public Buildings May Be
Tied Up by Legislative Act.
I.lNCOI.N-Tho supreme court
must decide whether building approp <
rlations made by the legislature lapse
under the constllutlonal provisions
providing for the lapsing ot approprIations -
rIations for governmental running ox.
pensos. The question will bo pro-
sente"d to the court by tIio state board
of education for normal schools and
the board ot regents of the state unl-
venslty In an action to mandamus the
auditor to an ow vonchers nnd draw
warrants for the payment of claims In
advance of completion of the buildings -
ings for the unexpended balances of
the building appropriations made by
the leglslaturo of 1903 for the Peru
normal school , the Kearney normal
school and the universiti. The
nnounts Involved are $12.000 for the
Peru library building , $1QOOO for the
main building at the Kearney normal
and $20,000 for tilO ndminlstratlon
'building of the university. All three
hClldlngs are tin the course of con-
struction , but" according to the law ;
all appropriations made in 1903 lapse
August 31 of this year.
The board of regents recently instructed -
structed that the unexpended balance
of the university building fund ot 1903
bo drawn on advance warrants , to beheld
held in trust until the building was
completed. A voucher was presented
for the amount , but not acted on by
Auditor Searle. Today the state
board of education aalted the auditor
to maleo a rllllng in similar proposition -
tion in regard to Kearney and Peru.
The board had fortified Itself with an
OIJinlon by the attorney general that
such proceeding would bo legal.
Desplto this opinion the auditor informed -
formed the board that ho would not
taleo the responsibility of allowing the
claims until the worle had actuaUy
been , completed and requested that ho
be mandamused to do so , that the
courts might Interpret the law.
The decision of the auditor places
the attorney general in II. peculiar situation -
uation , as in the mandamus proceedIngs -
Ings ho must appear for the auditor in
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an action instituted by II. state board
at his suggesllon.
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GETTING BACK TO DUTY.
State House Again Puts on Working
Appearance.
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LINCOLN-Tho state house has
again assumed the appearance of II.
real estate capitol , all of the stnto'
officers who have been away on their
vacations having returned and settled
down to worle. Governor Mlclcey and
Secretary of State Galusha returned
from Portland ; Land Commissioner
Eaton returned from Portland and H.
Lindsay , clerIc of the supreme court ,
returned from Spearfish. Everyone
of them came bacle feeling robust and
looldng good.
These state officers who went to
Portland were delighted with the exposition -
position and Nebraskn's part of It and
especlllUy were they pleased with the
courtesies extended to them by tlll
New Yorle commissioners , who turned
ever their building and annex for the
Nebraska day exercIses. Secretary
Galusha. said Governor Mickey deliv.
ered'a splendid address that took woll.
Enrouto homo Governor Mlcl.eY was
tateen III just after leaving Seattle ,
a.nd at Spolcnno II. physician was called
to the train and soon straightened
him out. The governor Is feeling aU
right now , though ho shows that ho
has been through II. strenuous oxperi-
enco. Adjutant General Culver returned -
turned from Sea Girt , N. J. , wheru he
tms been with the National Guard
team.
Back Pay for Soldiers.
The names of tIle Nebraslcn soldiers
of the Spanish. American war to whom
money is due from the government
have heen received by the governor ,
and upon his return to the state Ad-
u ant General Cuh'cr will attend to
the lllstribution ot the same.
Dies at Kansas CIty.
SEWARD-News was received ot
the sudden denth of Miss 1\IInnio Cole
of tols place at Kansas City , where
Elho was "Isiling friends. MIRS Cole
was n teacher In the pubUc school ,
and has lived in Seward since chUd-
hood.
Two People Killed by Lightning.
PF'.ATRICCoroner Walden re'
turned from the home of William O.
, Bering , near Plcl.rell , where ho was
called to inyostlgate the cause of
death of Henry Hcnl\C , aged 70 , and
Anna Henke , aged 70 , who were found
: dead in bcd , having been Idlled by
lightning. No inquest was held.
. Insane Man From Boston.
YORK-H. L , Smith , who left Boston -
ton last spring , was found at the Bur-
I IIngton yards. When ho left Boston
; ho had $200 and when found possessed
l just 3 cents. Ho has at some tlmo
been In the Insane asylum.
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I D'emand for Furnas Lands.
CAMBRIDGE-By reason ot the
splendlll crops In Furnas county the
last few seasons IJas been the occa.
slon of numerous land seel\Crs being
in evidence latch' . A large number
of farms have chan ed lmnds the laRt
- rlx months anll indications are that
f tlJo tldo IR just starting. The Ropub.
- IIcnn valley has become famous far
nlHI1110 for good crops at nil sea.
I R'JIJS. I.anlls ha0 been and are 5 ( > 11-
. itl3 I elow their actual value as com
1 llfir 1l with the lands a short dlstanto :
\ust ! of this lornllty.
Wiih Uncle Sam' Regular Soldiers I
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Some Faot. About Army Life
and the Treatment , Prospect.
and FacUlties for Eduo"Uon
.f the Men.
It must bo berne In mind , says a
writer , that ono essential tor leading 1\
happy lIfo In the United States army
Is good bohavlor , and It an ) ' , "oieo
trom the ranks t ls 1\ tale of unncctJlt-
Bary hardshlplI endured , or ether
grievances , it Is certain to bo merely
the natural result at bad cqnduct , and
of leading a lazy and dissolute life ,
and the sarno man would have fared
aqually bad In anT other wallt of life ,
or that he Is ine pcrlenced and does
not know how to care for himself or
rails to attend to the directions re-
ceived.
The army Is necessarll ) ' go\'erned
by 'intolligent regulations , and strict
obedience Is required of all , for without -
out this nothing could be ( lolJo , and
what is now vlowed b ) ' the world as a
magnificent fighting force would boo
como of no moro use than an armed
mob.
mob.While
While the ordinary cltllen : ; may , 'iew
with Bome contempt the protTer of $13
a month for his dally worl. , still hQw
many to-day tolling eight , ton , and
sometimes sixteen hours , are makint
on an average of $60 a month , or an
Income of $720 a ) 'ear ? This Is what
the average soldier in the United
States army Is getting to. day , when
all clothing , medical attention , medicines -
cines , baths , free gymnasium , librarIes -
Ies , with books of all sorts , magazines ,
periodicals , post exchanges exclusivo-
Iy for the soldier's use where he may
purchase' at cost such soft drinks and
articles as may bo deemed necessary
for his comfort , nnd where may bo
found billiard and pool tables and a
good supply ot games , such as chess ,
checlters , dominoes and cards , can betaken
taken Into consideration.
In addition to this , If the soldier be
n good tradesman , carpenter , mason ,
teamster or any lelnd of worleman Qr II.
man with II. fair education , or It may
he mentioned that eve'n when a man
enlists , if ho is not up to his worle , ho
BRACELET EMBLEM OF POWER.
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Afterward It Was a Reward of Bravery - ;
ery Shown In Battle. ,
In the m'ost ancient period of his'
tory , the bracelet was an enaign. of
royalty. In later times it has been
'used In the East as II. badge of
power.
The bracolet.of Rebecca ( mentioned
In Genesis ) weighed 10 shel\Cls , or
atout ? five ounces.
Among Ule ancient Romans the men
as well as U10 women were bracelets ;
but the latter never were thom till
they were betrothed. .
Bracelets were at first properly milt-
tary ornaments , or rewards , frequent- .
Iy conferred among the ancients , by
generals and princes , on those who be-
baved gallantly in fight. They became
fterward arbitrary decorations , as.
; umed at pleasuro.
"Tho emblems , " says Fosbroleo. "of
lupreme authority among the British
kings were golden bands worn around
the neclt , arms and lcnees. Ornamented -
ed bracelets of brass have been founll , .
I'ound the arms ot : skelot sln British
barrows. " I.
The northern people used to swear
Dn their bracelets to rend or contracts
moro invlolable.-Exchange.
"Firedamp. "
"Firedamp" and "afterdamp , "
words brought into terrible promln-
once in many disasters In mines , pre-
uervo the older EngUsh sense of
"damp"-vapor , an especially noxIous -
Ious vapor. Precisely where the word
came from , philology does not lcnow ,
but the earliest exlstenco of its use
quoted by Dr. Murray's dictionary is
Caxton's (1S40)-"after ) the dragon
sha1 como II. goot and ther shal come
out of his nostrel a domp that shal
betol.en honger and grete deth of
peplo. " Bacon Is one of the writers
of his time who sveale of the "d&ps"
of mines. "Damp" graduany came to
be applied to visible vapors , such .1.S
evening mists , and the transition tl )
the sensQ of moisture Is obviou .
nut hi Hdamving down" a furnace ono
finds II , relic of the very "l1amp" In
the sense of "suffocate. "
READY WITH HIS EXCUSE.
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Clerk Justlfled Mean Trick by Scrip.
tural Quotation.
A certain tailor of very strict prln ,
ciples waB In the habit of oxcusln/ / ;
the faults of his assistants only If
they could justify themselves lIy
SIf'lpturo. Ono d y a woman entered
his shQP and asleed to see some ma.
terlal , but refused to buy it because
it was too cheap. After showing her
some other goods the assistant
brought bacle the same material , this
time asking a. higher price , whereupon
the customer bought It. Afterward ,
the proprietor , who had witnessed the
transaction , reproved his as.clstant ; so.
verely. The latter , remembering the
rules of the establishment , replied ,
"Oh , It's according to Scripture an
right _ She was II. stranger and I took
her In.-Harper's Weeldy.
Made American Rifle Famous ,
The American rlfio bocnmo fl\mou \ : ' !
all over EuroDe after the battle of New
Orleans , January 1 , 1SHi , where , with
the deadly American weapon In the
bands of Ientucltlans and Tennessee-
ans the English lost 2U7-two.thlrdi !
of these Idl1ed-out of 0,000 men engaged -
gaged , and the Americans lost. six 1\111.
ed and seven wounded. The English
were all shot nt , from forty to sixty
yards dlstanco. No wonder Welling.
ton did not believe tbo stor ) ' of EnG'
land's awful lOBS when ho heard It.
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may , by muo nppllcntion , and by tak.
Ing advanfago of the chanceR to in.
term hlmsolt , soon become a good
scholar or Improve In his trado.
As In the case first cited ho will
receh'o In adlHtlon to the regular sol-
dier's pa ) ' , 35 or 50 cents a day by beIng -
Ing dotalled for I'uty ' In lIome ot the
places In which extra. duty Is paid at
these rates.
Prom this It may bo lIoon that an
Industrious man can earn. from $10
to $111 a month In addition to his p y.I I
Any monoBaved can be deposited In
the treasury In sums not less than $5
at . . IJl r cent interest and cannot bo
forfeltel' ' except by desortlon , thus
/Iving / the enlisted man 11. bank and
a suret ) ' tor saving , such as no clti.
zen in the United States C ln boast.
A private soldier with a fall' educn. I
lion , who proves hlmselt , by his conduct -
duct , his l1uty well done , his efficiency ,
nnd aptitude , wl11 alwa's sooner or
later got tbo first step upward-that
of a' corpornl , from where , If ho Is ambitious -
bitious and shows fitness , bo can bo
sure that his worle and talents wl11
bo noted and rewarded by further pro-
motion. For it mny 1.10 truly saltt
that 'hlIo wo have no fielll marshal
in our servlco and wo cannot lIternlly
repent Nnpoleon's assertion , that
o\'er ' soldier carries a marshal's
baton in his knapsacle , still the high-
rist rank In our army to-day Is held by
11. lieutenant genernlvho was at onetime
time a recruit. Ho succeeded a man ,
Lleut..Gen. Young , who also started
as a prh'ato , and when Gen. Young ro-
IInqulshctl the highest ranle In our
army , bo sent to his successor a pair
of lIeutenantgeneral's shQulder straps
with the note : "From Private Young ,
12lh Penns'lvnnia Volunteer Infantry ,
to Prlvato ChatTeo , Troop K , U. 8 ,
Cavalry. " Of course tIHSO men enlisted -
listed during the civil war , when mo-
ti\'es for enllstln were dlITcrent ,
whllo these who enlist at present with
commissions In view , mostly do so
from love ot a soldier's Ufo. To say
that a man loves the Ufo Is simply
saying that he Is a born soldier , and
bls Guccess In the army Is assured.
How Foolscap Got Its Name.
Ev ry ono probablY has wondero , !
why II. certnln size paver , famlUar to
all who wrlto , is called foolscap. As
early as the : roar 1301 water marIes
were employed by palJer manufacturers -
ers to distiniulsh their products.
no grade of paper much In demand
during the mlddlo ages , resembling
what wo call foolscap and lcnown by
that name , had for Its water mare a
fool's head wearIng a cap and b'ells.
The marIc appeared on this grade of
paper unUl the middle of the seven :
teenth century , when the figure uf
Britannia was substituted by the
ngl1sh manufacturers , and other
marlm by other paRer maleors. No
ono has , however , chall ed the nama
of the paper , so wo have to this day
, the foolscav papor.
,
The Good Mixer.
"Ho's a good mlxor , " or "Ho Isn't
n. good mixer , " are oxpresslons you
of ton hear. A "good mlxor" is supposed -
posed to bo II. man who can assoclato
witb people and make business. A
poor mixer Is ono who maleos friends
slowly , who minds his own busl'1oss
and Is not much of n rounder. A man
who gives hlA business close attention
Is the best "mlxor , " When people 11.1'0
In need of II. certain article they buy
where they can get the best and
cheapest-whero conditions suit them.
When people are buying artlclos they
need they do not care whether the
dealer Is II. "goodfellow' 'or not. Wo
have never thought much of the
"good'mlxer" Idea.-Atchison Globo.
Cure for Insomnia.
A writer in II. medical journal advises -
vises people troublel1 with sleeplessness -
ness to Imvo a list of words , so assu-
elated that each one suggests the next ,
-'or Instance , ice , sllppory , smooth ,
rough , ruffian , tramp , etc.-and when
sleep is coy to reclto the list montally.
'fhls is said to bo an Infalllblo cure , for
insomnia , the secret bolng concentration -
tion of the mind on each word so suggested -
gested by the preceding ono , not allowing -
lowing the attention to lapsO for an
Instant. The vlan is certainly II. bet.
ler one than counting these Intermin.
able sheep.
Make Fuel from Foliage.
In Paris II. company has contracted
with the municlval authorities for all
tllO follago to bo derived from the
trees of the Dubllc square II , gardens ,
streets and wodos within the limits 01
the city. These leaves are to bo oem ,
pressed under high vrossuro ani w11l
thed bo converted into II. fuel , whlchl
it. Is claimed , will have far greater
calorific capacity than coal or another
ether fuel known.
Scientist on Hypnotism.
A Boston Rcientlst aays that hyp
notis mcan do"olop only natural in
stlncts and that the best hypnotist lr
the world cannot mal\O II. reany mora
person do wrong. From oxporlmont !
ho h made ho believes that 76 pel
cent of the human race , If unrestrained
strained by family pride and ethel
lIke considoratlons , would steal.
When a Pet Dies In China.
When II. favorite dog , cat or ethel
domestic Det belonging to n perSOT
of royal rank dies in China Its sorrowing
rowing owner has Its bOdy Inclosed Ir
II. coffin of vollsh oak. elaboratel3
carved , and buried in the anima
cemetery behind the Bummer palaci
at Poltnr. !
Complete Set of ChopIn.
JIerbcrt L. Jonks has vrosented tlu
Fitchburg ( Mass. ) library with the
only complete set of Chopin's compo
sltlons.
" 'HE ADS THE BEST READING.
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.Japanello Admiration for Information
They Conveyed.
Commodore Edwnrll Duulll\.m Ro-
bie , who sallelon Porry's flagsblp In
the hlslorlc American expedition to
Japan fittytwo yeRrs ago , tnlleed In
Now York the other day nboul the
Japanese ,
"What Impressed mo most nt that
tlmo , " he said , "WRS their incredIble
bravorr. There wo were , ( \ strong
fioot , willi modern oqulpment , and
when wo alJl.'IroachCltheir . port the ) '
Bent tholr greatest batUeshltJ-R junle
-to turn \\8 back. Tbey defied us ,
( lJid pointed to the Uno wo must not
cross.
"As remarkable I\S HuM bravery
was the brlllianco ot Ulelr mlnds-
mlnods at on co powerful and naive. A
grent samurai got hold of an Amorlcan
nowspalJer , nnd had It all translated.
to him , every word , from cover to
cover. At the end ho said to Perry :
" ' this with
'I have reall newspaper
delight , ospeclally tI10 alLvertislng soc-
tlon. Within that singularly nllfrow
apneo the author hl\s contrl\'ed to collect -
loct the most valuable Information-
tI10 bargains offered b ) ' the yarlous
merohantS , , the humble ml1rrlages
which have taken place , the houses
for sale or to bo lot , many Investmenl9
nnl\ business opporeuniUes , and ,
above all , the most vnluablo and
preolous modiclnes. ' II
JUST WANTED TO KNOW.
VisItor's Object Lesson In Leas of
Weight Attained.
Prof. D. P. Cropp , of the University
of Colorado , has Invented a maoblno
that Increases the height from ono to
five incbes and the chest girth trom
ono to four Inch os.
"It Is amazing , " said Prof. Cropp th
ether day , "what an Interest people
taleo in any change In their physique
-the gain of an Inch around the chester
or forearm , the loss of an Inch In the
nocle or stomach.
"I Imow a fat woman who spent
July at the seashore , t&lclng an ocean
bath and 1\ hot bath dally , so as to
reduce her weight.
"Tho day she was to lcavo for homo ,
she entered a butcher shop and told
the old man to cut her ort twenty
pounds ot porle.
"Ho cut nnd weighed this creat
chunle of meat , and then said :
" 'Where , madam , shall I send , IU'
"But the woman , as she feasted her
eyes on the lor1c , roplled :
" 'Oh , don't send It anywhore. I
don't want to buy it. You Bee , I bavo
lost twenty pounds since I have been
down here , and I just wanted to see
how much It was : "
At Any Cost.
A. darler preach or was lost In the
happy selection of his text , which ho
repeated in vigorous accents of plead-
Ing.
Ing."Oh
"Oh , breoorn , at do las' day doro's
gwillo to bo sbeep an' dore's gwlno to
bo goats. Who's gwino to bo do sheep
nn' who gwlno to bo do goats ? Let's
all try to bo Uleo do li'I' white lambs ,
bred ern. Shall wo bo do goats , sisters -
tors ? Na.w , wo's gwino to bo do sheop.
Who's gwlno to be de sheep , bredern ,
an who's gwlno to bo do goats ? Tale'
care ob your sols , sisters. Remember ,
doro's gwino to be goats an' sbeep.
Who's gwino to bo (10 sheep an' who's
gwlne to bo do goats ? "
Just then II. solitary Irishman who
had been sitting in the bacle of the
church , listening attentively , rose and
said :
said01'11
' / ' . Go tell the
/01'11 be the goat. on : us
joke , Elder. 01'11 bo the goatl"-Llp-
plncott.'s.
How Col. Morrison Kept Cool.
Col. Wllliam Morrison and his w'fo '
were on co staying at II. llotel , when In
the night tboy were aroused from
tholr slumbers by the cry that the
hotel was afiro"
"Now , my dear , " suld the colonel ,
"I will -put Into practice what I have
always proached. Put on all your In-
dlspensablo apparel , And leeop coot.
Then bo slipped his watch into his
vest pocket and waneed with his wife
out of the hotel.
When all the danger was past ho
said : "Now , you sco how necessary
It Is to keep cool. "
Mra. Morrison for - the first tlmo
glanced at her husband.
"Yea , W11linm , " she sad ! , "It is a
grand thing , but If I were you I
would have put on my trousers. "
What They Mean.
The IItUo clances that I got ,
So tllJld nnd nppcnllnlr ,
The prcssures when our hnnds have met ,
The slghll so tull at tccllng ,
The "snugcllng"-there's no better
name-
l When on my lum you lenn ,
I'm conscious ot. but Just the same
, I wonder what they mean.
, Your sympathetic Interest
'When"\'er , I nm tntktng.
The Budden nnd qulto recent zest
You have tor moonll ht wnlldn&-
When you Record my muo JDko
Appreclntlon Itecn
And say you love the Bmoll at Bmoke
- Whnt may these tokens menn T
ThouGh on anllclratlon's nip ,
I have no heur ancctlon.
I think you merely wnnt. my Bcnlp
To add your collection.
I've played the came , too , more or leis.
I'm not so very green.
And so I think that I Mn guess
Exactly whnt. you mean.
mean.Chicago , New. .
Conductor Was Mistaken.
Senator Penroso tells of a lady who
objected to aU familiarity by street
car conductors , such as touching her
or calling to her , or assuming that she
needed help In getting on or oft II. car ,
One day whnn the motorman was put. .
ting on brult s and slowing up the lad
arose , and the conductor shouted :
"Walt , leddy , until the car BtoPS. "
"Don't address me , sir , I1S lady , " sh (
IndlGUantly repIled.
"Beg your pardon , ma'am , " repUe
the conductor : "but nIl of us Is Uabl (
to make mlstakes.-Plttoburg Dis
patch.
' . "
.
. .
- .
8ENATO LLIVAN ' " "
Say. He Hils Found Doan's KIdney
Pili. Invaluable In Treating Sick
Kidneys.
Hon. Timothy D. Bulllvan of New.
York , Member of Congress trom t.hlt
Eighth Now York District , and ono of
the Domocratlo leal10rs of Now York
Stata , strongly recommends DQan' .
lldnoy Pills.
StJul\tor Sulll.
van wrltcs :
"It Is n. plCBS.
uro to ondorllo a
l' 0 mod y like
Doan's Kldnoy
Plt1s , h 1v I n g
found thom of
greatest , 'aluo
In ollmlnating
the d I B t l' 0 S s
caused by slcle
lddnoys , and In
restoring these organs to n comUtion
ot health. ly eXlerlonco with ) 'our
valunblo remed ) ' WI\.8 equally as graU.
fying aB that ot sovornl ot my friends.
Yours truly ,
( Signed ) TIMOTHY D. SULLIVAN ,
Foster-Milburn Co. , Buffalo , N. Y.
For sale ball druggists. PrIce , 60
cents pOl' box. ,
Some men try to leeop the faith bY'
koeplng tI10 faithful In a plclelo.
I do not bollevo pls1 ! Cure tor COMumpt\OI\
hilI ! nn cqunl for coughll nol ! . ooll.s.-Joll ! 1" .
DOYEU , 'l'rlllity S.prlnrzs , II\lJ.l eb. 19,11 > 00.
Once men fought tor nbstractlons ,
now tboy fight for subtractions.
YELLOW CRUST ON BABY
Would Crack 'Open 'and Scab Causing
Terrlblo itching-Cured by
Cutlcurll.
"Our baby hall a yello\v crust on his
hood which I coulll not 1.eep away.
When I thought I bad Bucceedod In
getting bis llead clear , It would start
again by the crown of his head , cracle
and sqalo , and cause terrible itching.
I then got Cutlcura Soap and Oint.
ment , washing the scalp with the soap
and then apIJlylng the Ointment. A
few treatmonta made 11. co'mplcto curo.
I llavo advised a number of moth rs
to tlBO Cutlcura , whCli I have been
nolced about the same aliment of their
bable . Mra. John Doyco , Pine BUBb ,
N. Y. "
HAD MADE GOOD HAUL.
Banker's Hunt for ChIckens Met with
Much Success.
I
A banltOr in a westcrn city bought
some chicleens of a rnncll1nan and
told the man to deliver them , at his
houso. 'Vbon ho went homo at noon
his wlfo mel him at the door and told
hIm with great consternation that the
man brought the chicl. ns , ho had
promised , but iuatead ot lJUtting them
In the henhuuso , hud left them on the
lawn , and they hud all disappeared.
ForgettIng his IIlnner , ho startod. .
off In no very amlablo frame of mind
In pursuit of the missing fowls. After
scourIng the noghborlng alloys for
Borne time , ho came bacle triumlJhant.
ly driving the lost chicles.
When In II. few days ho mot the of.
fondlng ranch man , he demandell , severely -
vorely : "What did you mean by leav.
ing these chlcltcns on my lawn tht )
other day ? I hunted the nolghbor-
hood OVQr for thorn and then could find
only eleven I"
"You did mighty well , " was the mild -
reply. "r only left six.-Graco M.
Crawford In Harver's.
. \
Asiatica In the Transvaal.
English Inhabitants of the Trans.
vaal are much worried over the In.
croaRO In the Asiatic elements in the
population. AlreadY In Nntnl the Asi.
atics outnumber the Europeans. In .
Natal , too , the white retail trade ho.s
boon nlmost ellminatod as a result 0 :
Asla.tio . compotition.
. r. ,
OUST THE DEMON.
A Tussle with Coffee.
There is something fairly demonl.
. .cal In the way colTeo sometimes
wreaks its , fiendish maHco on thosa
'Who UBO It.
A lady writing trom Calif. says- :
"My husband and I , both lovers oe
correo , surrered for some time from o
Tery annoying term of nervousness ,
I1ccompanled by most frightful head.
aches. In my own case there was
eventunlly developed some sort of affection -
fection of the nerves lending from the
aplne , to the head.
"r WD.S unable to hold my head up
straight , the tension of the nerves
drew It to one side , causing mo the
most Intense Iain. ) We got no reliet
from medldne , and wera puzzled as
to what caused the trouble , until o
friend suggested that possibly the cof.
fee wo drank bad something. to do
'NUh it , and advised that wo quit. It
I1nd try Postum correo.
"Wo followed his ndvlco , and from
the day that wo began to use Postum
we both began to Impc'ove , and In
a very short time both of us were
entirely relloved. The nerves became
steady once more , the headaches
ceased , the muscles In the bacle of my
neck relaxed , my head straightened
up and the dreadful pain that had so
punished mo whllo I used the old ltlnd. .
.
of coffee vanished.
"Wo have novel' resumed the use or
the old coffee , but relish our Postum
every day as well as we did the
former beverage. And we are delIghted -
lIghted to find that wo can give It
freely to our children also , somethln ! :
wo novel' dared to do with the old
IdUlI of colTee. " Name given by Pos-
turn Co. , Bnttle Creek , Mich.
Postum Coffee contains absolutely
no drugs of any kind , but relieves the
coffee drlnlter from the old dru"
.
polsoll.
Thero's a reason.