-
-
A .IV A M E IV THE S A .N 'D.
-
Alone J walked the ocean IItrand ;
A Jlearlr well WIlS In In ) ' hnnd : -
I staollell nnd wrote upon the sand
II1y namo-the ) " { ! 3r-tllC day ,
. As omvard trom the : lpot 1 passed ,
One IIngerln look behind r cast :
A WO\'o como rolllnf hllrh anll fIJllt ,
Anll washed my nes aW111. I
,
And so , methought , 'twill IIhortly be
'Vllh e\'ery mark on earth from mo :
A wave ot dnrk obll\'lon's flea
'VIII IIweep across the place
'Vhero I ha\'e trod the sandy sher. . ,
ot tlmo , and beellj to IJo no moro.
ot mo-m ) ' llay-t 10 name I boro.
To leave nor track nor t.:1co.
. And , 'et. with Him who counts the sands ,
And holds the waters In his ha\l 8 ,
4iI I know a Instlng record Rtands.
( Inscribed against my name ,
DC all this mortal part has wrought :
ot all this thlnklnlr soul has thought ,
And trom these l1eeUnl : moments caught
For glory or tor shame.
-Hannah Flagg Gould ,
.
' " V . j' J 1Y-
' \ /7/ : - - - VJfNUJ'lP \ ; \ " ' !
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- Nrt - ) xJf : NK.5onr.'wC VT !
,
Dennington loolted after Lucy AI.
ton's retreating form with amaze moot.
Only the night before she had prom-
lsed that she would marry him In the
spring and had sealed the bargain
wIth a ldss. She had been tender and
, loving then.
T1\ls morning she waUted past him
with no sign that she was aware of
bls presence save a. haughty "Sir ! "
'whon ho had raised his hat in saluta.
tion.
" The moro Dennington thought it
oover the moro inexpllcabblo it became.
Ho and Lucy had been more than
friends for a couple of years. She
J1ad so clearly shown her preference
tor his oclety that none had sought
to dispute his position.
Ho could imaglno no rival w1/o
might havoJ > Oisoned her mind against
111m In so brief a. tlmo as had elapsed
. . 'Sinco the night before. Ho puzzled
. 11ls brain unUl it whirled , but still no
. tatlsfactory ; explanation presented its.
.elf.
.elf.Then
Then ho decided upon a very foolish
action' . Ho left town.
Not oven his most Intimate friends
1mew where ho had gone. and for sev-
cral weelts the set in which ho moved
'Wondered at his hurried departure.
'Then they decided that Lucy Alton
bad refused him after all. and they
ave the matter no further thought.
As for Bennington , ho was seoklng
to dispel his ennui In Paris. and only
succeeded in discovering that gay
-capital to bo a most dispiriting place.
.A. week later ho was arguing with the
, 'Customs officials on the famUlar pier
in Now Yorl , . .
His man was too well trained to ex.
niblt an ' surprlso when his master
. .valltcd In. He sllentl ' placed a hugo
liIu ur Idlers upon the IIbrbary table
and went out to attend to the trunl , .
Dennington turned the letters over
.
, Idly. Suddenly he gave a start. There
. .vas ono lIttle square envelope ad.
dressed in a handwriting. the sight of
which'mado his heart beat faster. He
tore it opon.
"Dear Jack. " it ran , "what has be-
'Come of you ? It Is not nice. sir , to
Jen-ve ono's fiance in this abrupt fash.
: ion. Have you already repented 'our
I > roposal ? I don't IIlw to think that.
'Come In , J'ack. and tell mo what the
trouble is. I did so want to see you
Jast night. "
It was signed "Lucy. " and bore a
date ono day later than his experi. I
enco on the avenue. I
!
A second note was in Mr. Altcln's I
llandwrlUng. This was dated a weel.
later. In vigorous terms her father
told Dennington what he thought of
11ls actions.
"I learn that you are abroad. sr , "
11e wrote. "I should advise 'ou to reo
mah1 there. I cannot be answerable
for the circumstances should we
meet. "
, If Lucy's letter' had been a puzzle ,
. . , A. " . . . - . " # , , .
, -
,
I
i
I
' .
: ' 1
" - - ; : . - - ;
] "Slrl"
, ,
this was even less understandable.
I r' There was no mistaking th cut direct
110 had received. In the face of that.
why should she wrlto a day later , as
though nothing had llappened. and I
why should her father b nd hie as a
scoundrel and a cad.
. 'fho qulcl\Cst way to find out would
be to. drive around to the Altons. 110
called a cab and In ten minutes he
WIli hotdln converse with Judson. the
Altons' buller. Judson was polltlUt
very ovidenUy fearful.
" 1'leaso don't insist , Mr. Denning'
.ton , . . . he plt'ad. . "MI. Alton Is no' ,
strong. sir. If be were to see 'ou , the
excitement mlgbt kill blm. "
"SeG here. Judson , " persisted Den.
nlngton hotly , "what's the matter ?
Why should the excltoment kill Mr.
Alton ? What have I done ? "
Judson coughed ever so sIlghtly. He
was too well trained to admit that ho I
know the family secrets. !
"I'm sure I don't know anything. "
I
declared Judson respectfully. "Only
Mr. Alton declared that 'ou were not
to SeG Miss Alton , and Dr. Sommers
ordered mo to bo careful that Mr. AI.
ton did not see you. I am very sorry ,
slr- "
There was a slIght pause , and before -
fore he could gather his senses Den.
1.I. . . . . _
v' , . . . . . .
"Are you sure you will never make
the same mistake again ? "
nlngton found himself outside the
closed door.
It would never do to make a scene
on the front steps. Bennington was
determined to get at the bottom of the
mystery. but this was not the place.
He jumped into the cab again and was
driven around to Mrs. Graves' , who
had been his mentor slnco his
mother's death.
"I'm sure I don't lenow what the
matter Is , Jack. " she said sympathet.
Ically. "There Is a report around that
Lucy would not have 'ou. and that
'ou took a broken heart out of sight
until It mended again. "
"How can I find out ? " bo urged. "I
can't go along lIJO this. It will drive
me crazy. "
"Come to the tableaux vivants tonight -
night , " said the matron , "Lucy will
bo taldng llart and we wllI try to see
h'r. " \ .
It was hard upon Dennington to face
the curious gaze that ovenlng at the
charity entertainment. It seemed to
him as though evOl'Y ono'in ' the room
were discussing him.
Still. he here It bravely. sustained
br the hope of sMlng Lucy. She waste
to appear in the last picture , and the
program IIno read :
"Hefiectlons. Miss Alton , Miss Car.
ter. "
Miss Carter , That must be Mabel
Carter , Lucy's cousin from the w'Cst.
When the eurtaln went UP. there was
no sl < { n , of 1\1lss Carter. It merely
dlscl ( 'd L\lc ' standing In front of a
minor admiring her rellectlon , Then ,
sUddenly. the refiection stepped
through the 111lrror frame and a great
light dawned upon Dennington , He re.
membered now that 1\1lss Carter was
supposel1 to exactly resemble Luc ' .
The resemblance must have been so
strong as to have deceived even the
eres of love.
Heedless of Mrs. Gra"s detaining
hand , ho pushed his war through the
crowd to the door leading to the im.
provlsed stage. Lucy was just com.
Ing down the steps fro111 the tern.
porar ) ' llatform , Ho caught her wrist.
"Lucy , " ho cried , "can 'ou ever for.
glvo me for having been such n fool !
I thought 'our cousin was 'ou , and
she cut me. I did not have the heart
to stay and see 'ou again , If 'ou will
forglvo the error I romlse never to
do so again , "
"Aro 'ou sure you will never make
the same mistake again ? "
"I assure you that it will not happen
again , " ho declared ellserly.
Ho sought to take her In bls arm ! ! ,
but she skillfully evaded him. and a
\'olce from the platform cried out :
"Seo here. Jaclt ! I don't mind 'our
maldng love to Mabel In'ou think It's
me-but I draw the tlno IH proxy
\tlsses. \ "
Then 1\IIss Carter ver ) ' thoughtfullY'
hurried to her drossln room , wbllo
.Taclt had to malto apologies aaain to
the real Lucy.
She has accepted a ring as a certain
111eans of ltIentiOcatlou. It I" a clrclot
oC plln Jold-Doston Globe ,
. . \ ; - ; - WEDDING TRIP. I
- ,
Tr Mlvaal Bride and Groom Worried i
by the Elemtnts. :
' 1'hrllllng adventures get into the
soeloty colu111n9 of the Transvaal
newspapers sometlmo.s , A Johannes.
burg paper , tells of a marrlago at Lyn.
denburg , It says : "Tho brldo were
her traveling gown and hn111ediatol ) ' I
after the ceremon ' the marriage trll)1
of thlrt ' .olght miles to Pllgrim's H.est
was begun In a cart drawn b ) ' eight
mules , When about half the dlstanco
was made It was found that the Ohrlg.
stad river was in flood ami passage
was hllposslble. The route was roe
traced for about ten miles and tempor.
ar ' accommodation secured at farm- -
house. Next dn ' , however , the river
provcd just as Impassable , and tlms
for four da 's the hOne111oon couple
were 'held up' b ' the elements. On
the third day a traveler attempted to
cross with a cart and two l1Orses , but
the attempt proved disastrous , for
the Ii0rso.B and cart were swent away
and were never seen again _ The passenger -
onger probabl ) ' owed his lIfo to the
fact that he became entangled hl a.
barbed.wlro fence. Two days , after
this , 'the river having subsided somewhat -
what , the help of soma transport drIvers -
ers was requisitioned and the cart
and team were fioated across , wIth
the help of strong ropes at the other
sldo. "
KEPT UBOY" IN CHECK.
Centenarian Restrained SpIrits of His
i6.Year-Old Son.
Senntor Denew tells of attending a
commemoratlvo dinner given tq Ohev-
reul , the famous French chemist , on
his 100th birthday. apropos of baving
himself recentlr arrived at the age of
70.
"Chevreul ascribed his longovlty. "
said Mr. Depew , "to the fact that being -
ing sure of his position In the factory
of the Gobelln tapestries so long as ho
'l1lght live , though his position was a
modest one , ho'1ever worried about
finances , never had serious troubles ,
and never had touched tobacco 01' al-
cohol. He had lived most temperately -
ly and dranlt the muddy waters of the
Seine ,
"neslde him was a gentleman who
enjoyed the dinner to the utmost and
was hilariously and rather uproariously -
ly proposing the health of everybody
at the table. The old gentleman every
little whllo would place his hand upon
this neighbor and checlt his levity.
" 'Why does Chevreul talee so much
interest in his lively neighbor ? ' I Inquired -
quired of my escort.
" 'Decause ho is his son. ' was the
roply.
" 'How old Is tile boy ? ' said I.
" 'Seventyslx , ' answered my polite
escort.-Washington Post.
He Couldn't "Recover. "
A young clergyman in malting his
weeltlr : visits among the poor of his
parish in a nearby country village
qulto recently learned of a poor , slcl.
man who recently came from Ireland
with his wife and ono child. When
the minister called at. Ute llOuse he
was given a most hearty welC1J1110 and
on reaching the bedsldo of the sick
man was surprised at finding him
apparently well. The day being warm
the clerg'man suggested that he get
out of bed and spend an hour under a
shade tree In the garden.
"It may do 'ou good , " he added.
The wife. who wus present , said
her husband had better remain in the
house until the folluwing day and
then talto a lIttle recreation. When
the clergyman returned a week later
he found the husband still In bed.
"Haven't you been out of bed since
I was here ? " aslwd the man of the
cloak.
"No. sir , he has not , " repilod the
wife. "I don't lIlte to tell you , sir , but
the doctor ga\'o my husband up a
weelt ago and wo sold his clothes ,
That's the reason 110 didn't go to the
garden-Phlladelphla Press ,
. .
.
Vain Endeavor.
A man once sa\'ed his money In a , "cry
Ilrudent way :
Ho put a ! Illlo by for fear therc'd be a
rainy day ;
lIe heeded all the maxlm about thrlCt ,
and work , and henllh.
And I'c\'erencell oconolllY , which Is the
sOllrco oC wealth ,
lIe made some smllll lr1\'cstments , IInd
some larjer after while ,
Ana listened fOI' applause. when ho ns-
sumed a better IItylo.
Dut sorno at those who Itllow him sl1 < 'cred ,
whllo othl'rs ! sll11pl ) ' slshed ,
Ire . hall practiced nil the vIrtue ! ! . IJul
the ) ' weren't satisfied.
He looltell the situation o'er with sadness
and dlsma ) ' ,
And said , "I guess I'll go nhead and gl\"o
the stuff away. '
lIe hullt a lot of bUIldings nnd 81nceroly
IItruvo to find ,
A ' 1'11) ' to lIJond his money that would
beneJlt manltlnd.
Dut Ileonio .looked askance at him Ilnd
said , "I told you 111) .
The IIrt oC spolllllns money If ! a thing he
doesn't Know.
It's scandnloull to contemplate such os-
tentll lIous pride. "
Ho dill his best to Illeaso thorn ; hut they
weren't satisfied.
-Washington Star ,
Scotch Sabbath Observance.
Sir Archibald Gellde's eXamlles of
the rigid Sabbattlrlalllsm of the HIghlands -
lands are Interesting , One Is of a lady
who rose early on Su IIday , and carried -
ried her canary down Jato the cellar
to Ioep the bird quiet. An ther Is of
a ) 'oung clergyman whoso ortho-Joxy
was suspected hocauso he was seen
stl1".1Ing at his wJndow on the Lord's
Da , "dandling his bairn. " A third
story was told by the lrite Lord Play-
fall' , who heard the nurse quieting his
lItt1 ho ) ' one Sunday In this wlso :
"Whist , whist , m ) ' bonnie lamb ; It's
the Saw bath , or I , , 'ud whustle 'e 8
sallg bllt I'll sing ye It p:1ralhrase : , "
, , ,
,
I "
. f
. .
I
. f. , ,
AS AFFECTING LABOR
REPUBLICAN L.EGISLATION ALWAYS -
WAYS FOR WAGE.EARNERS.
It Began by Freeing Four Million
SlaveD and Hns Constantly Con.
trlbuted to the Welfare of Many
More Mllllono of American White
Toilers.
In the "lIIstor ) ' oC the RepubUcan
p.artr , " just issued by 0 , P. Putnnm's
80ns , the author , Francis Curtis , con-
Ones himself to a purely historical re.
"Iew or leglslntlon in th ( ; dUTerent
congresses. and the nominating con.
ventlons of the part ) . and their pro'
ceedlnHs. lIe concludes tills hlstorl.
cal narrative. however , with a chalter
I.hlch wo bellovo will ho found to be
one of the most Interesting portions
or the worl" I" this chaptllr he enum-
rates the varlets doCections from the
IlRrt . , with their causes nnd result
' ' but most.
nnal'zlng vcry emphatlcall )
tesoctfuHy the Uberals of 1872 , the
Mugwumps of 188-1 anll the antis o !
hc present dn ) ' . Whllo Mr. Curtis
con 6dos that mall ' of these men who
have left the party , and who emleav-
orod to thwart its success , have boon
men of character who mllY hnvo been
actunt 1l by the purest maUves , yet
later events have proven l1nt they
ha\'o been entirely unwarrnntod In
their actions , and that every defection -
tion of the party has been unwlso , un.
cnlled for and unjust.
Mr , Curtis claims thnt in only one
Instance , if indeed in any , have the
Mugwumps lJ d any innuenco upon
ho action of the Relntbllcan party or
upon the his tor ) ' of the country. Con.
cludlng this point , ho says : .
"It mayor may not bo that. the
MUU\TUmlS elected Grover Cle'eland
In 1 4. U they did , then they lreclpl.
tatell tho'tarilY fight which ended in
the Wilson.Gormnn tarlrt , and which ,
according to the H.opubllcan conton.
tlon. brouglt } untold misery to our
people. If they crave credit for that
they are certainly welcome to It. "
In discussing. the negro quesUon
the author says :
"Tho coming generation or South.
erners must In tlmo aclmowledgo the
mlstale their fathers are malting , just
as the present gcneratlon are free to
aclmowledge the errQrs of the ancos.
tors of a generaUon or two ngo , Calhoun -
houn , Hayne anll McDilffio were mis-
taleen in belloving that the South
would bo always an agricultural sec.
tlon of the country , and tbat n low
taritr would be necessary to their
prosperity In order that they might
sell in the dearest and buy in the
cheapest marl < ots. The Democratic
loaders of to.day In the South Are
mistalten in believing that they must
constantly vote the Democratic tlcltat
at all times against their own commercial -
cial Interests. simply for fear of beIng -
Ing outvoted by the negro , to whom
they are not ready to ! ; rant the advantages -
vantages guaranteed by tbo FIfteenth
amendment. "
Spealdng of the effect of Republican
legislation in connection with our laboring -
boring classes , the author says ;
"Nowhero Is the beneficlont result
of Republican legislation more con-
aplcuousl ) ' seen than In its relation to
the so.called laboring clutlses of our
cotIntry. It began at the outset by
freolng four mllIon slaves and glvl g
them the opportunity to labor , to ac.
Qulro and to o"njoy the rewards of
their own exertions. Coming down
through the decades nfter the war.
from 1870 to 1880 , from 1880 to 1890.
and from 1890 to the present tlmo , It
has , throngh Its various tariff laws ,
given opportunity- the worltlngmen
of the United States such as Is en.
joyol by the laboring classes of no
other country on the face of 1ho globe.
It has by Its legislation concerning
immigration given to ulllions from
foreIgn lands an equal opportunity for
advancement in their standard of living -
ing , through high wages allll constant
employment , increasing our home
market , which Is the envy of the entire -
tire commercial world. This bomo
marltet bas awalwned and maintained
competition to auch an extent in all
lines of industry that our people In
larg measure have done their own
worlt anll reaped the conaequont f\'llits
of their toll. There need be no proofs !
given of the assertion that the worlt. :
III men or the United States are far
hetter off than the laborers of any
othcr country , The st.atement is UII"
questioned and universally accepted
both at homo amI abroad , The whole
situation can ho brlefiy Intt In the
words of the eminent French scientist ,
Prof. Emile l..cvasseur In his worlt on
l.'Ouvrler Amerlcaln , In slimming Ul. '
the conditions of the American worl , .
ingmen as compared with those of
Europe , he sa 's :
" 'Wages In the United States . , e
about double the wages in Europl. ;
obje ts of ordinary consumption by
worldng popole ( excepting dwelling
houses ) cost less In the cities of the
TJnlted States than In these of EU'-
rqpe : the Amerlc : n wordngman ) lives
better titan the European ; ho ea\s \
moro substantially , dresses better , is
more comfortdbly housed nnd moro
often owns his dwelllllg , spends more
for lIfo Insurance IInd various social
and beneficial associations , and , in
short , has a much higher standard of
lIfo tban the European worlnnan. '
"Not only has the Republican party
given the workingman the chance to
worlt ; not only has It given him the
highest wages paid on earth for that
work , but It has seen to It tbat this
wage money Is paid III dollars of full
value , equal in every case to one hundred -
drod cents. "
Whl1 the author announces In his
preface that "for the most part fucts
only have heon related III the plal lest -
est of language , It Is hopell clearly
. , ,
( and without amblgult , yet th rfJ
Iqro passages In the boolt I " , bleh wo
,
.
i
bellevo will bo widely quoted , not
onl1 for thclr stylo. but : ho thoughts
thoroln ndvancod. such a 1)1ssngo , for
ommplo : , 9 the following :
"Tho Rcpubllcnn pnrt . hils been a
consistent party throushollt Ita career ,
and it stanWJ to-dny for th Utreo
grent policies for which It stood I\t Its
birth , alld during Its every year of ex.
Istonco since. These three policies
are I.Ihort ) . , Honor and Progresc ,
I qunl Uberty for e\'ery man , woman
and child \lIIdor the shelter of our
nag ; lIherty to live. lIbQrt . to toll
an. } lIbert ) . to acqulro. Honor-In a
atandnrd of vnlue. nIlIt money of re.
domltlon , equal to the highest Imown
among natlona ; honor-to 1)1\ ) ' in full
m'ery obligation : honor-to redeem
eve\ ' ' promise , 11111111ed. Bpolwn or
written. Pr ( ) res.s-not only of our
o'Yn Ioople , ns bns been sho\vn in an
elevation. of the mnsses to fIle - highest -
est stnndnrd of living nttalned by any
people of the human race ; as shown
In the development of our Imbllc
school 8)'stem , of our lIterature am !
its distribution. of our lahar laws and
of our Industrlnl anll financial , : ulIler.
taldngs throu hout the length and
breadth' the land ; progress-not
alon In the elevation or the people
of the United States. but In the ad
vanCOl11ont of every Ieoplo ami ever ) '
countr ) ' wlune our Influence Is felt ;
progress-not nl ' In material tip.
building. but In a u1l"utal and moral
elovatlon us well.
The Democrats and the Trusts.
"Tho tarler Ia..the mother ot trusts , "
will undoubtedly bo the Democratlo
Wfir cry In the natloual campaign.
And , with any conservatlvo Democrat
as presidential candidate , the l1nrty
will not Jack 1camlI lgn fund. The
trusts which it professes to attactt w1ll
see to that.
Such is the seemlngl ) ' impossible
paradox which the political sltu'ntlon
now presents , Organizations of f'l1pl. .
tal are preparing , If It will glvo them
the man they wnnt , to support a party
proCessing to bo Oiled with zeal to
destroy them , Yet when a few fncts
nre remembered It Is SC1Jn that the
trusts will ho taldng only the lIne of
selt"lreServation and self-aggrandize-
ment.
The men at the head of the great
typical combination a , such as the
United States Steel and Standard 011
companies , feel that they no longer
need the tarler In their business.
They bellevo that they have reached
such a Imsltlon that they need not
fear foreign competition. They are
conMent. of their ability to deal with
that In ether ways.
What they do dread is domestic
competition , meeting them In the
home marltet and keeplng up wages ,
and able to do Ulese things because
It Is lrotected from foreign competition
hy the tariff. And , furthormore. they
dls1l1to the president b auso ho hal\
Insisted that no man or body or men
can ho or become so great as to bo
ahovo the laws of the American 1)00'
pIe.
pIe.Tho
The heads or the great trusts realIze -
Ize that political platforms count for
nothing , and that laws count for very
little , unless the mon elected to office
on those platforms are resolved to on.
force those laws. What they want Is
not different laws , but a dlrt rent man
In the Whlto House-a man who is
not merely rigidly fair to them , but
Is complaisantly friendly to them.
'fhat Is why the Democrntle party ,
If it will but give the trusts the mnn
they want , no matter what its platform -
form , will not laclt for campaign
funds , It remains to he seen , how.
ovor. whether the American people
clln he fooled hy the Democratic trust
alliance now visibly forming.
The "Pivotal"
States.
JUdge Pnrlwr now has instructed
dolegntlons from Now York , Indiana ,
I1nd Connecticut. . and the New Jersey
delegation , though uninstructed. Is nd.
verse to I1earat. Talelng the four
states that we Imvo named together.
It woulll seem that tholr action must
ho dofinlte as egards Hearst. since
they are the old pivotal states , With.
out. thom no Democrat can Ilossibly
win , This Is so well understood that
their course wlll exert an enormous
Influence In the South , and it has the
sympathy of the Democrats of the He-
llllhllcan states of the East. The
Mnssachusetts dglegatlon , which Is In.
stl'llcted foOlne ) ' , will not go to
Hea\'st. under nny circumstances. Ills
suppo\'t must como principally from
Mr. Bryan's old IQIHlIIstic following In
the 'West. Its convention strength Is
tlJIIS very clearly limited , and its In.
fhwnce will ho lessened hecause ofhe
fact that the West Is overwhehnlngly
Republican.
Effective Brevity.
The last word has not heen SIO.
ItCn regarding the heneOts and advantages -
tages of the protection policy , Ropre.
. -mtatlvo : Cambell ) of Kansas , proved
that something now and strong in the
way of condensed fact 1ulght he said
when , in his recent s G ch , he declared -
clared :
" 'rho pollny of protection has pr
sel'ved the Amerlcl1n mnrltat for the
products of American' manufacturers ,
und American manufacturers hnvo
made marltots for the Iroducts ) of
American farmers , and together the1
ha vo established the high standard
of living and made posslhlo n high
scale of American wl1gos. "
' 1'ho CASO has seldom heen 60 errect-
Ively stated in so few worda. It tells
! I. great story In a very short space.
-
What Interests the People.
'rho last Domocratlc national adminIstration -
Istration added $2G2OOOOOO to the in.
tcrCl ; bearing debt , and none of the
money wont Into any grent public
worl" MI' . Cleveland has heen tellIng -
Ing bow It was done , but the people
nro moro Interestell In pro venting' a
repetition of the fect. .
. .
, .
AND
Nearing the LJmlt.
"Do you know , darling , " said the
loveslel. young man who walt bus )
planting microbes , "that I bollevo It
mnles mo n better mnn every time J
kiss 'ou ? "
"WolI , " rejoined the tnrty.lullred girl
In the parlor Reene , "at the pace you
are going now there will soon bo no
Dloro room for imlrOVoment. "
The Truth Comes Out.
"I say , Adam , " remarked Darwin , as
they met on the golden aldownlk one
morn In ) ; , "how about that pot bobby
or mlno ; dill the original man really
have a tall ? "
"Suro ho dhl , " rel1l1ell..Adam , "but
not the Itlnd 'Oll alludClI to In tryln : :
to 111ulto monley of yourselt. It was
just an ordlnarr , every.dny tale of
woe. See ? "
Poor Manl
Hubby-Half of him belongs to you.
you lenow.
WIfe-O , well , lot my halt hollerl-
Chlll1.
Not Due to Gravitation.
Newton evolved tbo law ot gravity.
"That may do for nn apple , " exclaimed -
claimed the rivals , "but why do th
smallest berrle.s fall to the bottom ot
the box ? "
Sadly 110 was compelled to aclmowl.
edge the partial falluro of his Bchome ,
-New York Tribune ,
Not a Regular Game.
"Llttlo boys , " said tbo ohl lady n8
shq stopped and loolted ever the fence ,
"don't you lenow YOIl shouldn't' play
n hall game on Suuday ? "
The catcher loolted around.
"This ain't no game , mn'l1m , " ho
said. " 'Vo'ro short. our reg'lnr
pitcher. "
Loyal to the Last.
Woren't you slightly annoyed by the
ml\nner In which your wlto ptayed
when she was 'our partner nl whist ? "
"No. " answered Mr. M ltton stoutly -
ly , "I wasn't annoyod. I was puzzlod.
I couldn't help wondorlng who made
that fool assertion about its bolng
wrong to trump your partner's ace , "
Worse Than it Crime.
"Yoll scem angry , Mr. Pocle.
"I am. The Inspector of weights
and measures has just been in. "
"Ha , hal Ho caught YOII giving 15
ounces to the pound , did ho ? "
"Worso than that. He said I'd
been giving 17.-Stray Stories.
L.adles' Day at the Club.
Evangellno atchlng sight of a bat
fiylng about the room-Isn' It
atrango to see a bat hero ?
Arthur ( half reminlscently-I ) guess
you don't lenow this club-lndianl1p- !
ells Nows.
Knew His Business.
Romantic Rosalie ( at the recevtlon )
-That young man over by the lllano
is just too Idlllng for anything.
Practical Paullne-Suro ho is. He
owns a big slaughter house in Omaha.
Taking Him LIterally.
I I
I
.
. .
"Would ) 'ou 111\0 the cause of 'our
late husband's death oxplalned on
the monument ? "
"Wel If it don't cost any moro ,
yon might engrave a couple of cucum-
hers 011 it-Hour Glass ,
Leap-Year Maid.
"Dllt as ho novel' said ho would
marry you. " remarlwd the wIdow , "I'
tall to see where the breach of promIse -
Ise comes In , "
" 'Vher.t I proposed to him. " ox-
plalned the leap.year maid , "ho promIsed -
Ised to bo a brother to me , and ho
.
bAsn.t been anything of the ldnd. "
tit ,
How to be Happy.
They were spealtlng of the actress.
"Yes , she's married , hut her hus.
band travels with ono company andl
she tra yels with l4:1otber. "
" 'fhen they snrely ought to have a
happy marrfed life. "
Cash Vs. Credit.
JUdge-What Is the prisoner
charged with ?
Policeman-Ho's fnll ot whisky.
your honor , but whether he's charged
with the sturt or whether he pal < l
cash. I can't sa ) ' .
Snw the Human Fright ,
Maull-Dill 'ou hear n\l t .that
fright George got on his wodd111f IlY1 ,
Mabel-Yes , I was thero. 1 It'\W
'tor.
