Nebraska Newspapers

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1'0 l'rlclUl in lJcI'IIWltt.
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" . ; . ; ' . or 1\11 rah' creat\lreG , I'd like to1130' .
t' , ' } 'ho line thnt nppcals to mo
, , ' " . I. Is I ho rollicking , frollcklllg green moray.
' " , 'l'h t wrIggles bencalh the Ilea ,
. . " Ie 3o'ou'll hrlll ! ; tne one nbout twel\'e teet
IOIl ,
With II'J ; incIting c3o'cs or gtn3o' . '
. , FOI'C\'el' 1'1lIng 'ou n sratl'lullong'
, Of the LlI1UUU green morn ) ' .
, , . . An ulI1phlt.'ous ono would bo nil 10 the. .
gooLt ,
oIhn t ' : nn lI\'e on hn ) ' :
" . . It 'OU CIpI'OCLIro him ) ' 0\1 ccrtnlnly
; Iho\lhl ,
, Such a beautlCul grecn mora3o' .
' . ,
J , \ Sh : : ! , l his'whlsleers be rell an,1 hIs till .
. , . 11" whit ! ' , :
'M , . , . .
. . 0' HI ! bel \ ' n II It30' blue
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. " And hi ! ! b'od ' resemble the /llnrs at nIght ,
I'll ho ' ' ,
deepl3o' obllgcd 10 3o'ou
" I hope ) 'ou won't decm that I ask too
. ' much ,
, r , . 'l'or ' - . '
, ' , life Is stili ) unc- and gaJ. :
Tr. But 1 surel ) ' would like to be ph\ce In . 'tr. 'k4
: - , toUch
10 With n beaulleul grecn mornJ. ' .
k . -5'I1I11\1cl Dcchant. . .ttl. :
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THE MOST BEAUTIFVL
ny GEORGe llEUtUsr.E\ . LADYjJ
COP'Jr1oht , 1901,1 > 11 Dallv Storv Publlhing Cornpan'lI.
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One fall when there was no political
camlJalgn In Ncbraslm-lol1g before
Nebraska went into politIcs-the edl.
tOl' of the Plalte\'lle Weekly News
tried to liven things UI ) for hlmselt
and the people hY' holdIng beauty
election , "Wh Is the most beautiful
lady In Vista count ) . ? " was his edl.
torlal anti local leader every weelt for
three months. Ho also sandwiched
the question between the Pill Ad. and
Ills own persevering announcement
I that a load' of cohs would be taleen
at his office on subscription. Every
Issuc of the News from SiPtember 1
to No\"ember 30 contained a copy of
the foJlowlng ballot :
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
: Plattovl11e 'Veeldy News , :
: MOST BE AUT Ilo"U 1. . LADY :
' : CON'rES' ! ' . :
: One Vote For :
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . , . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
: As the Most Beaullful Lady :
: In Vista Co. , Neb , :
I. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . , . . . . . . . .
"
Anybod ) ' could vote this tlcleet as
, man ) ' times as ho had copies of it cut
from the paper. A new subscriber
was entitled to five votes out of hand.
The winning lady would be awarded
"an elegant gold watch and chain. "
The baJloting opened without much
spirit. At the end of the first week
the count stood :
I 1\1lss Marjorie Traylor. . . . . : . . . . . . . . 7
MIss Katherine Ormsby , . . . . . . . . . . . . G
1\IIss l\laggle He'ward. . . . . . . . . . . . . G
l\liss Jessie Blggolowe.1 :
'l'hat l\larjorlo 'frn'lor led was no
surprise , The guess was general that
' ) Katherine could ] iCel ) up the pace.
" As to MIs ; Heyward , some were un.
'dnd ' enough to suspect that her pupils
would be constrained b ' ] lOlIcy to
t.hrow their votes her way-just as
th\ ' took her the bIggest red straw-
herrles. At the bottom of' the list
the town smiled , The fair Jessie was
not Imown ; some country girl with
a zealous lover , leo1 ) > le Burmlsed.
The editor cheered on the fra ' , "Vote
for the most beautiful lady. Cut out
haJlot on page 3 , " Subscribe for
the News and cast five votes fot' the
most heautlful lady In Vista count ) . . . .
"A load of cobs will be talien at this
omce on subscription , " The editor
" 'as as Rllre of thlf ! ar ; over. Ever ) '
} )3ge of the paper except the pi\tent
InsIdes confirmed the offer In blncl ,
tHe. Bnt it ] oolied as though the
farnH'rs thollght moro Gf their co m
than the ) ' did of their I1eWHpaper.
The second and third weeli the bal.
lotlng ) J\'ocecdcd with no change In
the order of the favorites. The high.
cst now had 31 voteH , Jessie Blgge'
lowe gaIned one ote eaeh week , and
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i "Vote for the most beautiful lady. "
Plattevllle's smllo broadened to a
meny ha ! ba ! The wag , Ernest Some
' crvllie tried to bl'lbe the editor to tell
. . him who was voting lOl' the mystorl.
< < " ous JesHle , Bllt I dltol' Jacle declared
1 Ill' didn't lmow ; the ballot clune
through the malls ,
l\tcan whllo the 011.1101' called for
cobs , "A loal ) of cobs on Hul.uwl'lptlon , "
, At the end of nine weel,1I the ballot.
ing stood ns folluws : 1\lIs lIe'ward ,
79 ; MIl' ' ' ' OrDlsh ) ' , 74 : l\Jlss ' 1'I'a'lor.
I 73 ; 1\1lss Allco Bracken , 40 ; 1\1158
DIgolowe : , 9. .1cstlle , . .ho unlmown
. held her pace , but , as Ernest Somer.
vllle-comp accnt over the school
'witcher's tIn" ftat-sald. " , Jefslt. ; :
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couldn't win 110W If nIl the other nags
were pulled , "
"Cut out the ballut and lieep the
ball romng , " sang the editor , " 'fhl'ee
weeles moro tell the talc. Pay ) 'our
subscription and vote for ) 'our favor.
Ite ! Step up to the News office and
vote lIIie a man ! " Meanwhile , for
-.Prosp\rlty. . He had beefsteale
e\ery day for dinner. And after din.
ner ho smoked a clgar-seomed 11I\0
Sunday the week around. But still
the deslro of his heart was cobs ,
Readers at a dlstanco used to open
the paper with the standlug family
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"Kill that corn.cob notice , Jlmmlel"
jOie ] , " 'Yell , wonder If the News man's
sot his cobs ) 'et. "
At length the final weel , of the con.
test rolled aro\lnd , KathCl'lne led the
list with 88 ; Miss Heyward , 87 ( the
school and Somef\'lIlo stood b ) ' her
10ral1y ) ; l\larjol'lo , 8f' , All the betting
was on these three. It seemed plain
no one ese wonld be In the race at
the finish , 'I'he last da's saw much
quiet activity among the yonng mon
about town , Each exerted himself to
the utmoHt to throw the scale for his
fayorlte. Leftm'er copies of the News
went off lIIw seats fdr 3. prize tight.
New aUbscrlptionH poured In , some.
times two , three a-day. Editor Jacl , felt
so proslJCrous that ho was almost
tempted to the l'ecltless extravagance
of going out and pa'lng cash fOl' a
load of colis , Winter was on In full
blast now and splitting goods boxes
rOl' Idndllng disagreed with the elll-
torlal humor. But ho controlled him.
self , and onr ] ) Jut a 1l0ulJlo heall on
ho notice for eobs-"Cobs all Sull.
scription ! "
Satul'dar morlllllg' , the last da ) ' of
the contest , Jaclt sat at the edltorlul
tallie malelng the final count of the
ballots jnst bcfore going to lreSS , The
door oC the sanctum ollonell slowly ,
and IL burl ) ' countrymen , WI1:1 : light
hah' and II ver ) ' red fllce , stepllell III-
sIde ,
"You the editor ? " salll he ,
"Yes. sh' , that's me , "
"Well , m ) ' name's Slavin-Bill Sla.
vln-from fonrteen miles 'tother sldo
the river. Used to live In town , he.
fore ) 'ou come , " His eye was on the
plies of ballots , "near as how rou
want some cobs on subscription , " he
salt ! .
, Tacl , stal'ted UII , but went on count-
In "Ye-eH , " he suld. wIth lIuslness
reserve , "I could use a ] oad-twent ) ' .
seven , thlrty.slx , forty.one , " the cobs
at last ! the ) ' threw him clear out of
count.
"Coulln't ] use moro'n ono load , I
reclcon , " auld the countr'man , shuf.
IIng his fep-t.
"Heavens , res , twcnty loalls. " cried
Jacl" thlnldng' whnt a time he hall had
of getting an ) ' .
Dc.ne ! " sa's SlavIn , on the Instant.
.Taek loolied up wlld.e'ed , "Send mo
the rapCl" for twentr ) 'ears , " wenl on
the farmel' , cooll ) ' . "Start deliver the
cohsIonda ) ' , How's the votln t"
, lacle hegan to see the light. He fin.
Ishell the count , read Uw votes of
the first three , lI11ss lIo'ward leading
with .89.
"That. thel'e ! .IIMs JIe'warll's the
8choolma'am , nln't It ? I rememher
hCl' , 'foro ) ' 0\11' time , " JacIccallell
the .tol' ) ' he'd heal'll of how 1\Iagglo
HprH rd hall thrashed a bnuy ) 'ears
ago , and SlavIn 30unded10 the
name.
"lIow 'hout the tall enllers ? " said
Sla vln. caT'ilessb' .
Jnck rea hem err , bringing up the
1' < ' [ 1 , ' with MIss .10ss10 Biggelowo ,
elo\'cn.
"Um.m.JlIIlU , " nssonted the farmer.
blushing 1I1eo a Imgnr.beet , "Now II
) 'OU don't mind. jest cast a o\'en hun ,
d l'll for l\IIS ! Jessle-nn' 1 gUI'SS sho's
a winner out , oh. What'll tlUlt. who
Is I1he1 Ga ) ' , whal's this IH.'I'O 'Iectioc
fer , an'how1 Sho's I1l'st mOlle ) ' , : U\l' ,
who she Is , gol.durn : an' S011l0' day
If 1 don't make an ) ' mlstalio , sho'
goln' to bo Mrs , lJIU Slnvln-gol.dunl
ed If the nln't ! Good.day to ) 'ou. "
The editor ran the fingers rf botL
hanlls through his hall' . wallwd ever
nnd spIt on the stove , Then ho wont
bacl , to the table mid wrote this head ,
line In trcn\endous lottora : I XTHAI
EX''UAI Then ho shouted Into the
hclt room : "Kilt that corncob notice ,
Jlmmlel"
AmI that da"k IIRI1er liS a se:1satlon
mal\OI' , stands alone In the hlstorr of
Vista countr journalism.
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ACTOR'S IDEA OF HAPPY DEATH.
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Mancflold Tells How One Thespian
Got Revenge on < \ Manager.
Rlchartl Manslleld waa discussing
the subject of vongeance.
"Vcngcancc , as a rule , " hs snld.
"shou1l1 he left to the gods , I can't
help s3o'mlIRthlzlng , though , with the
vengeance that a stnge villain toole on
his manager last ) 'ear In the West.
liTho villain was SUI)110Sed , the
end of the fifth act , to plunge a Imlre
In hIs heart. and tu ( Ill ! very harll ,
rolling nml Idcldng all O\'cr the stage ,
"When hiM cUO came he did plnnge
In the lmlfe , but then , Instead of dying
he la ' down on the 1I0ot' . crossed his
Icgs 11.1111 burllt into loull. long laugh.
tel' , the dagger stili slIclln : : , mind
) 'OU , In his breast.
" ' 1'he audience wns amazed IInd stu ,
1)OI1od at such unreasonahle conduct ,
' 1'lIe actors on the stage could not go
on , for they were amazed and stul ) ! ) '
lied , too , The manager nearly beside
hlmiulf. : hissed from the wings In a
] oud whfsler :
" 'You fool , what are ) 'ou laughing
at ? 'rills is ) 'our death scene. '
" 'Death scene ? ' said the recumbent
villain. 'Yes , I Imow It IH , nnd with
such a salary as you give me , deaU\
comes as a happy roloase. ' "
HIS IDEA OF PLYMOUTH ROCK.
Small Pupil In qoubt as to Whether
It Was a Hen or a Rooster.
"Durin ! ; one of mr visits through
the countl' . districts , " said the pro.
fessor , "I happened to roach a smnll
village where the ) ' were to have n
lIag raIsing at the schoohouso. After
the banner had been fiung to the
breeze , there was an exhibition of
drawIngs which the uplls had mnde ,
anti of the worlt they had doue during
the 'e l"
"Tho teacher recited to them , 'The
Landing of the Pilgrims , ' and after !
she had finished she requested each
pupil to try and raw from his or her
Imagination n plcturo of Pl'moutb
Roclt.
"Most of them went to worl , at
once , bnt one IIttlo fellow hesltatod.
anll at length raised hIs ham ! .
" 'WeU , Willie , what Is It ? ' aaliod
the teachm"
. .
Please ma'am , do rou WIlDt. us to
dl'aw1hen 01' a rooster ? ' "
Rule of the Game.
Ther were playing II little social
game of palter In the parlor , the
roung gentleman actlug as Instructor
to the ladles ,
"It Is not ) ' 0\11' hu'n tu bet now ,
Miss Prlmlelgh , " he remarlwd ; " ) 'OU
have the a vantage of not ha\'ln ! ; tll
het nntll the others have all saId , " I
"Why so ? " she Inquired. !
'
"Because you have Ule uge on us , "
hc responded ,
She wus his blttm'est el emy f'Om
that time ou-New Ol'leanfi 'I'lncs. !
Democmt ,
Two Pictures.
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An ollt farmhouse with meadows wlrh.
And ! ; wect with clover 011 Pooch side ;
A hrlJhl-ered bar , who looles frolll 0111
'rho door with woolhlno wreatheel nllout ,
And wishes hili ono thought nil day :
"Oh ! If I could but fly IIway
I rom this duII ) Jot the w01'111 to ! ! eo ,
HoIIlIp(1 ' . III'JlP ' " halI ) ) ) ' ,
How hIlIlP ' I shoull1 be. "
U ,
AmicI th ! ' cltY'1 ! Cllnltllnt din ,
A man who rOllnel Iho world hns 111''n ,
" ' 110 , 'mltl tile tllmnll nnd the throng ,
] I ! Ihlnl.ln ; : " thinking 1111 day long' :
"Oh ! coulel 1 only ! I'cu.l ollce mUI' ! ,
The field path 10 the furmhouc ! ! 11001' ,
'l'IIe 0111. " , rIJcn nll'lIdocould ] IWO.
III.hIlPJI ' , happ . hnIlP ,
Ilow IIIlIJII ' I IIho\1111 ho. "
-1lIh'cnmlltit I.ender.
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Brave Answer.
"John Hcnry , why I\ltl' \ you o tc :
be" with 'our clothes on lat ! nIght' ! "
aslw"I1's. : . GibbIns ,
"Becauso it was coId , " hra\'C'I ) '
answel'ed John Henr ) ' , who coullln't
rem em her anything at 1\11 about havIng -
Ing gone to hed , hut who waH quleli
wltte"-lluffalo I xllrcHs ,
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Not on the Mouth.
Nell-Ho hns heen Yer ) ' attentlvo
to me and lust nlghl he tried to Idss
me ,
Belle-Well , It's all rEght to ho at.
telltl\'e , hut that was o\'erl\olll \ It.
Nell-Oh , no : he undel'llld It , He
ani ) ' : mcceedell in hissIng mo on the
chin. .
Mny Adopt I\tetrlc System ,
A pI/titian / In Impport of the bill for
the IlIlolltinn of the mull'lc weIghts
and measurclI. which will tIe Introlluc
ell In the HOllse of Lords br 1.0I'd III "
ha'n an" flec'ollde" h > ' 1.,01'11 1\e1\1 :
Is helnJ ; oxtonslvcl ) ' signed thrOltIt
out the British Idllgdom.
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Fight on Amerlc" ' " I.umber.
As a IIwall" of Icccp'flg American
lumlll'r out of Canada , lumhermen ( If
the Canallian NOI'thwest ha\'o al1'Oell
to l'el\uC'o \ the \lrlce \ $1 per 1,000 feet ,
IlI'uvldlng that the rallrOlIlI would
altu reduce rIItes from -to cents a hurl'
. li1'ed to 38 cents.
.
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SIlO Ul.D , COIE TO US
TRADE WITH CANADA OUR NAT.
URAL RIGHT.
Chcago ! Record.Herald Belleveo That
Rcaconabla Reclproc. ty Would
Strenotlun : Our Hold ( , n thJ : Mar-
kCt3 of Our Northern N.fghbor. . :
In a npeoch In .l 1011 ' ! , n'pros n'
tntl\'o Dnlzell or I m \ 1\\nln nu.
n unced "tho reCl\l1 \ -ty II01Ic ) ' " at
the Hepubllcall ' ' 'rh. ' .
1)llI't ) . ! nnnounce.
mcnt is II lIotillentiou to the chnm.
1)10118 ot' the "lowl11101 \ " thllt the
aland.patters IlI'Otloso to control a 1111
tlllllllO the ) lDrt ) ' 110 11 C ) ' upon the tarlfI
I ucstlon ,
Mr. Dl\lzoll dl'clarcll that the recl. !
Iroclt ) ' of t hl' HefJubllcan lH\rty "must
bo a rechll'oclty of .Ilrowctlon , " In
ether words , the enl > ' rl'cllH'oolt ) . t1mt
VlI1l he consillermi wl1l bo n. recllro. ]
c(1) ( ' In non.competlng urtlc1es , If wo
o.re to admit IIrtlcle ! ! fl'co of duty In
exchange for the free nllmlsalon of
certalu of our lu'oducts to other CC1\IU'
tries the IIrticlos IIdmlttcd must ho
sl1ch as wo do ! lot ] 1I'0duce. 'fhls Is
. tht ) Dalzcll Idea or "recillroclt ) . , " 1\1\11
the OIlC , wo are assUl'ml , for which the
HellabJlclln llUrt ) . will stal1l1 In the
coming campulgn.
GOCummills of Iown has dec1m'ed
In his iuauguml addrcss last 11lonth
al1l1 In l1Uml'l'OUH Slc\ches thnt this. Islet
! lot rechn'oclt ) ' . and that Ruch IL policy
tendtl to d } ) rlvo Amel'lcan ] ubor of Its
just rowanls. Singularl ) ' cnough , both
ltelll'esontaU\'o Dalzell uud GOCum. .
! IIhls IIrguc from the cnse of Cunuda ,
IIn(1 ( each of them uses our trndo with
thut countrr to ) )1'0\0 hltt contention ,
the fOl'mel' mulntlllning thllt hefore
the reciprocity tl'outy wllh Cunada the
halance of tradp was In.rgel ' In fa VOl'
of the United States , and that while
the treaty war. In o\lcratlon \ the bal.
ance wat ; In fl\vor of Canada.
Upon. thl ! ! Cn stlon GO\ ' . Cummins ,
In hIs h\lluSllrl\1 11Ihh'os ! ! , said :
"In the last ten ) 'ears American
manufacturers have I'xpended $100-
000,000 In the elltnhllshmcnts of plants
in Canadl1 which woud ] have boen"
] \Opt at home , with all the labor whlcii
that I1nlIes ) , tr there had been a fah'
and permanent relation existing between -
tween the two cO\1ntrles. Not only
but , ' HtlHlen't of affah's ] ,
so , o\er > news
thnt the chance we now have across
the bordel' will be cOI11\1I"tol \ ) ' do.
royed / unesH we treat with our
neighbors upon a fuh' reclprooal basis ,
" 'rho ! armertt of Iowa have lost
Romethlng In the foreclosure ( If the
nplmrtunlty to fecII the men who l\I'e
IIIu.n'ating the IllanlH to which 1 han !
'elorred , nnd they will lose moro when
nnada l'alses the balTler so that ] n '
nd , I.'ranee aUll GCI'man ) ' will supply
( ho materlul fOl' the wondorCul devel.
opment 1I1)on which she Is jUt ! ontor-
lng , and whIch we are so well prepared -
pared to supply. "
In an addl'ess at the annual J..lnccln )
day banquet at 1\lInneallolls , he said :
"We want. to sell Canada the things
[ lhe must bu ) ' . WeI'e \ hettOl' IItted
to produce them than any othCl' peo'
plo in the world. ] Jl' ! necds are
gro 'lng with greatel" rlllldity : than
any other marliet which wo enter , All
that I say Is thnt we nre hllnd If wo
410 not malw an honest , faithful effort
to maintain our holll upon lbat coun.
( r ' nnd to Incr'ease 0\11' expOl'ls Into
ttli markets. "
Mr , Dalzell's COnCeltlon of r'cl-
11roclty Is thut of most of the pnrt ) '
manager ! ! , while GoCUl11nlns speaks
for the domInant Rentlment of the 11e0'
vIe of the 'WeHt upon this questlon.-
Chicago Hecul'Illcmlll. ,
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Why They Hate the Tariff.
"There Is lIot a Democrat who does
not. believe In tcal'lng dowlI the tal'lll'
walls that ] ( lI1lt COl1lmel'CO mill breed
corruptlon-FI'om the speech of
Chat'les A , 'I' wne , formel' UnIted
Btatc ! ! Senator froll l\lInnesota , dolly.
ered at the Democratic club In New
\'orl" Feb. 17 , 1904 ,
'fhat Is oxactl ) . the position of the
DOll1o'crntlc Ilnl'ty I'Ogurdlu the pro.
teetlve system , l1l're anll there 11I1\ ) '
he fOUlld a Democl'U t who Is n Ilrot cc-
tiolllHt at hottom 01' who IH anxlolls
to Ill'escl'\'o ) Irotectloll 1"01' Home III-
dUHtry 01' Intel'est III hlH state 01' dIstrict -
trict , hut when It comes 10 Yotlllg In
Congl'eHs OVCIT OliO of them yotes
with his 11U1'tj' to. t''ar Ilown the tariff
wallH , Not because the tariff walls
limit commerce , for they have WOII'
derfullr h\lT < , asee ! commel'CC , Not
becallse the tarlrr ill'eeds cOl'l'ufltlon ,
for It does nothlllg of the sort ; It
lJrceds Inllu811'r , hl'oolls employment ,
breeds wages , hreeds dellPslts III the
Haylngs Imllls , hl'l'l'ds plenty ane ! corn.
fOl't In the homes o ! man ' mllllonH
of people , It 111 not for those thlns
that Democrahi hate the tarlO' , It Is
heCI\UHO the tarIff wl\llH have fOl' more
than fort ) ' yearR stood lIetween the
Domocl'lltlc ) lI\rt ) ' and the control of
national affairs : became ; the tarllf
wal1s ha " 0 all h , all these 'en I'S IWflt
a million 01' mom of De'mocratH out of
oflice. ' 1'hat iH tbe ehlef ronHunVbr
all Democrats hau : the tal'Hr.
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Dangerous to Democracy' .
HOlllbllcans { lIaturllllr OllIlose the
aA'ltation of the tariff IHsne , fOl' the
soundest of l'oallOIlS. ' 1'110) ' hold pri.
marlly that the ( Ul'ilr Is IIIda ) ' III the
handll of tIl < ! partT of ) H'otectlon ;
that Il ltaH Iwell adJ Rted to suit the
economIc 11I11Ie ) ' or the natloll ; that
Cln a ltatlon 01' I he I uo at this tlme
wCIIIIe ! natlll'l111) ' tend to unseltlo
buslnl'lis , as It dill In JI 9 : ? 'fhe ) ' he-
1I0\'e In tariff ! 'o\'llilon b ' Its frlendH ,
'rho DCJlnocmtlc moUn' In clamor ,
tng for a 1''l'Jf1wal of tha- tariff dlsclls ,
610n In the corning ( : an:1palgn : IH lIttle
less than an 1I111ecenl CXPOSUl'O of
their unscl'ulluousness ] 11pollU s.
1 < lrst , th110 It wIth ILtqw of 1111.
etWns bUilllcSS ! : for ' 1U" aD PilI"
- - - - - - - -
IIOSCS. rhey wO\tll1 glaltly nccopt. !
nr 'nn's IS8UO for the same \oon ! ! ,
hut the ) ' Imow thnt free IJllvor can
110 IOIlE(1r frlghton the bUSltlN11I n\cn
of th(1 count ! ' ) ' , It Is no loner ! a
danrol'Ous Issue , ocept : to tuo Demo.
crntlo Imrt ) ' ,
Let thcm stir up the tnl'ler qlloslioD
If the ) ' CUll l1ull r. : > thtug 01110. It , too ,
Is n tlcttl cl IIUOStlon , frolll the Ho.
l1ubllcalstnnllpolnt. . thollh by nr
1II0ans n "delld one. " 'I'ho oPllorhm.
IRt Democrno ) ' will ro\'lve It III this
CtUnflalgn at thoh' ) IeI'll. It I not i
i enl ' settl\d. hut It will sll\ ) ' settled.- I
Dayton ( Ohio ) JOllrnal.
No Service Pension Law.
'fhoso mcn who servcd In the civil
wnr nnl1 who were e\'en sllght1) . dls.
abicci In conSeClUlJl\CO shouIII , anl1 do ,
I'ccel\'e liberal lonslons ) , 'I'hat . Is
111nln justlco.
These whu servl'll ntllt who are
now IInll\'ol'lshell-e\'cn though t1lt'lr
110vert . Is In 110 war the result 01
tholr Rervlee-RhoulIl , 1\1\(1 ( 110 , l'eccl\1J
IIhel'al pensions. That Is Illaln gl'l\tI
tudo.
But It woulll he an 01'1'01' to l'xt mt
the nll'oul : ) ' generous limits which
now 1II1\1'Ii the lIens Ion la WR nl\ll to
11IlclIslons not tler l ' tn those whn
nre In wllnt 01' who were disabled but
nlso to those whu 1\1'0 lit once so1111 \ ,
health ) ' nnd In comfm'tnhlo clrollm.
stl\nces.
The sorvlce pension law llroposes
to bestow ponslons uf $12 II mOl\th
on every IIIl1n who WOl'e the union
uniform for' Jllnot . da's , whether or
not ho was nt the fl'ont and whcther
or 1I0t ho nceds u ponslon , Unlcsu
Uncle Sl\m hns 1 < 'ortunatus' IIIII'SO
thts is un wi so and wnstoful ] eglsla.
tlon.
Ample provisIon \\.US made lon
IIgo fur the pouRlonlng of lIIen suft'er.
Ing from disubilitie/J / duo to SCI'\'lco In
the Mexican wur. In 1887 congr sl !
111\63ell nn III ndvlsed nct gl\'ln1 ; all
RIII'vl\'ors ahove the age of IJ2 ) 'oars
II Rorvlco pension of $8 II month. 'rho
ullvocatcs of servleo pensIon 10glHla.
tlon liS It congl'ess to 1I0 on II grand
sealo. whnt It did on n smull sca1e
seventeen yenrR ago nnd to fOl'co 110n.
RlonR on something 111(0 200,000 mon
who ure not ) ) ( ) nslonabloludol' oxlst ,
lug IIbcl'al laws ,
A sen'Ico pcnslon Il\w will he a
costly nffalr , and congrcsR khou1li be
slow to saddle now. hell\ ' ) ' expenses
upon the taXlayerR ) , Since 1865 th6
dlsburRements fOl' pensluns have ! Joen
$2,942.000,000 , milt while the country
will not bo l'ulned Ir heapa 'l\\ent
on IIcount of 11enolol1s contlnne fur
sC\'cl'al ) 'ears , there ell ht to be SOI1lI1
l'ognl'd for cconomr. ] t Is 1I0t becaua.
OL the amount of 1110:10) ' Involvcll that
the ' ! 'I'lhuue chien ) ' objeclR to R I'vlcl.
) lenRlon lerlsiatlon , hut hecauHe uf
the vIcious prlnclllen undCl'l'lug It.
This ) luper protested when service
pensions were given he COIll\1l1rn \ ,
tI'l ) ' amllll num1Jm' or J\loxlcan war
soldiers , and it , JH'otests now when It
Is pl'Oposml to copy thnt evil III'ICO' )
dent.-Chlcago 'rrlhune ,
. .
- - - - - - -
Panama Canal C mmlliSlon ,
'I'he Panal1ll\ canal commission IR
composcll or eXllertl ! who " < \ III worl ,
hnl'monluu51y togetber and ho 111I0Rt
emdent. whole. In , selecting the men
who to hn.\'c ' of
are \ chal'go thc greatest
work on ) ' nation hall ) 'et nndul talton ,
PI'otlceut ! ] Hoc > He\'elt WIIS 1IninlIllenced
hy ) lollllcnl , personul 01' sectional con.
slderatlons , lie wlta properly deaf to
nppeal ! ! that ho "recognIze" II par lcn'
IIII' Rtate b ) ' 1Ilpolntlng nno or Its cltI.
7.0ns a melllhol' , There lire Honlltors
who are dlspleascd because there 18 no
putt'ounge fOl" tholll In conncctlon wttn
the cUl\ul , 'rho ) luhllc wllJ not "YIII'
pathlze with them lu their I1 ilctou. !
Something to Fall Back On.
"Tho Democl'llcy still hus the tarlfC
to fal1 Iwc ] , upon , aull IIIUY be ahle to
do HomethluJ. IIlou ! ; tht IIne.-
Sprlll tJf-Id Hl'puhllcnn.
'rho Democrllc ) ' will , of COllrse , fall
Imclc on the tariff. It n1llHt t\o so , Jl
has no othOl' lI\slle \ on which ' :0 : base
an alllleal 10 the ) Ieople. ' 1'ull ) frolll
the DemoClallc : milld Its seatell prllll ; e
a alnst IlI'otedlon anll YOIl rCl1Io\'e
the 'laRt rtJInalnlng l'l'aRon why any
man Hholllll continue to he It Domo.
crat. 'I'ho I'i''sldentlal election of 1904
will IlotOl'llllned nhnost excluslvel ) '
on tal'lff IInm ; ,
- - - - -
British Free Trade a 'Failure.
Last ' the Bl'ltlHh '
yeal' go\'ernment
spent $ :15,000,000 : mol'O than Its re\ "
OI\\1e , 'fho forclllout C\1etltlon \ at thlR
tlllle In the foremoft fl' < 'e tr\llo natIon
Is a 1l1'OIIOsed return to ) II'otectlon ,
The hn HI I ! may he a. 10nJ ; Olle , with
val''III fortunes , hilt the facl re ,
maills that the sYlltem of fl'ee trade
has heen wnlghed allIl fOllnd walltlng
h ) ' the natloll hest prepared to sus"
taln It , 1'ho Unl1ell Slates hall a
treasury Imrpllls IIIHt yea I' and the
balunce , , 'f ( ] again ho on the right
sille 1'01' the IIscal ' ' ondln
) 'oal' ! ; with
, hllle.
Loss a Billion a Year.
Althollgh the Ilolllllation of Great
Hl'ltalll has Incl'cased large ! ) ' In the
last thIrty renl'H. rl.t 'sho Hells about
$1 ] 0,000,000 worth of goods a ) 'ear
lesH to frel ' n counll'les thlln she did
thIrty ) 'eurH' ago , whllo hm' Imports
have increase In the same period
morn than $8011,1100,000 a ) .el\l' , which
Is nearl ) ' a net ] uss ( If II hlllion dnl.
.
lars 11 ) .oar , 01' $1Ii5 fOl' each adult
male 111 l n la\lI , Iruland , Scotlaud
I\nd Wnl < 'H , No wnndel' the ) ' are t hlnl , .
Ing sorloUly ! ; ahout ulloptlng IIl'ott.C }
tlou. as a natlonnl llOlIe ) ' ,
- - - - -
Just a Suggestion.
li"or the Democratic vlcooHldeutiai )
nomination we talco the IIhorty at'1mg"
gmtll"Z Gov , Jeti' Dav1s of Arkansas.
Tlo Is the cml ) ' man III shht t/lm wouf :
hll\'o whnt mlghl t" callelt a l1h ; : I
chance or bolll ! ; clp , tcd.
.
,
"
J
1
'
- " " I ' LL2.lLl - .
. AND
' :1 -
1 ff.fT
, j
Nt1t His US\lnl I.IM. . .
: \Ir. \ Delph-Sho thuughll WIl rnther
sovero. She 8nlll she dllln't think
Il wns lIke mo to tulk ot others BO.
MIss Dltter-.And It wasn't 111.0 YOII ,
either.
: Mr. SoJph..Thlule : not1
Miss DItter-No ' ' ' tnU I 1
- : ) 'OU senC'rall ) (
nbout yourllelf-Phllnllc\lhll\ : ] \ r , ;
,
,
- -
Too Early for Him. ; .
"Tho conditions scelto ho unfnvor. j
nble , " adrnlltod the t1'l\nco medium , " [ .
am unable to get IIn ) ' cOlUnmnlcl1t1on
trom ) 'our ] nto hushand. " . :
"WolI , I'm tlot at aU surprised. " rc. ' i
] } lIcd the wIdow. " ( l's enl ) ' 9 o'clock 1
uow I\nd .10hn 1I0\'er did show up till j
about 2 a. 111 , "
.
For Remembrance.
- -
(1
, )
1'J
. '
"
JI Jj j I
.
I
' . , '
\0'
Glbbs-Hallol YOII'VO got II. ] tnot In
your handlwrchlef , What's that torT
Tlbbs-Oh , my wlfe'l : ! [ ono to her
11\other's for 1\ tow Ilaya , and that Imot
Is to romlnd me that she t01l1 wo to
thlnlt of her In hI' ! absence-Plclt.l\Io-
Up. I
The Main Thing ,
1\11' . N r\'oy-Mlss Hoxie ) : , I ad ere
you. Will ) 'oU bo my wlCe1
Mills RoxIe ) ' ( llIInghtllY-Tho ) Idea
of ) 'our proposing to a girl In lU ) . fJtn.
tlonl You should Imow bottor.
: Mr. Nervoy-l do Imow bettor , but
no rlchCl' .
A Movable Feast ,
BOllnler-Why In crentlon did you
ring the Immlifast boll at 4 o'clocl'
this mornlng' [
CoI'fho mistress hearll It thun.
doring IInll tohl mo to hurry Ul ) ana
liorvo broaltfast hoforo the milk
soured-New Yorlt Weoldy.
< It
How It Happened.
Brownovlch-Bnlleole's wire doesn't
jaw him like she fOl'UrlY did.
Smlthlnslcl - , 'I'ho worm finally
turned , oh ?
Hrownovlch-No , It wasn't thnt : aho
lllld S01l\0 \ Idnll of throat trouble nnd
lost her vplce ,
His Point of View.
"ButI' protested the typewriter
boarder. "Adum wasn't contented
without II wlfo. "
"Perhaps not , " rejoined the old
bacholOl' , "but at that stugo of the
game ho dl n't ImO\v anythtng of geol !
or 0\11. "
Tangles It All Up.
Town -It's n fact that 11 peroD
with a Htrong Imagination has abso.
lutel ) ' no head for IIgureR ,
Bowne-Don't ) 'ou buJlovo It. When
my wlfo gets her Imagination to work
ullon her age she can mnke arithmetic
look siclt.
Willing ,
-
"Wh ' ' denl' " deelnred the
) , m ) man ,
hypnotist. "by malllIg II tow simple
lJaslles before YOllr o 'es I can make
rou forJet thnt ) 'OU are married , "
"Go ahead , " said the othOl" "I've
been tr'lu ! ; to forget It for ten years. "
An Easy Matter.
Glles-Con I'esfi could settle thl ! !
woman's sUffmge business In short
order If It was to go IIbout it In the
rIght wa ) ' .
: r.I1les-IIow ?
OIles-n ' enacting a law comJell.
Ing women to vuto , 'rhen they would.
n't want to. . I
A Cautious Youth. ;
"Bobb ' . ) ' 0\11' \ father wants to Set !
you. "
The ho ) ' ] ool\Od duhlollS ,
"Do I want to seb 111m ? " ho aslwd.
"How should I l\IIow' [ " I
"YOIl ought to he able to tell b ) ' the
look In bls eye. "
- -
.
The First Sufferer.
Dogcne3 ! wus discovered with his
Ian tom ,
" use It , " he OXlllull\ed , "to aeo the
jas newl' I ha vo IIgh tell it. "
Hopeh 'IIII ) ' he continued his quest
or an honest mlln 0. . gas COlUPUllY.-
iIal'ller' nazar.
A Church Sleeper.
Parlis-Do ) ' 011 l\I1ow (1\11' \ mInister
at a1l1
I ne-Oh , 1 bavo n nodding acQuaintance -
Quaintance with hhn-Exch:1nge.
.