Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, October 22, 1903, Image 2

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Custer County Republican i
. . H. AMSI1RltJlY , 1tDITOil & . rum.18lWJl
I .
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ffinOKEN now , NBUUASJ\.A
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Death Wl'nrR n IdHll'I' , fllce l1Imy :
times thnn liCe.
Doln nothlnJt fOI' othel'i. ! I the lIn.
( lolng of one's setf.
In orl1er to Ilcclul1'c wcnlth the den.
list 11111SL Itccp phlj.j.llIg nwn ' .
= = =
It Is lrupoRslhlo to plense the womnn
\vbo doesn't kllow whnt Rhe wnnts ,
The pawnhrolwr ocsn't bnvo to Rhut
up nB long ns people wlll put UI ) wlUt
hIm.
LlIllnn HUR\'II h n mother-tnln " . .
Good.hr , LIIIIU1l , tnlce cnre of 'our.
lelt.
It d ' 81)Cptlcs would only II1n1'rY good
reels hnlf the trouble In thIs world
would be elimInated ,
The II1nn who hns hey ConI' every
fonr ou ht not to teel that ho will
meet nn ' punishment In the futuI'e.
About the time love lJe lns to wane
n womnn olllht to learn to ho n first.
clnlls cook and ever 'thlug will be
Jertne ,
One ot the unlleosallt , Centures oC
Ute \Incedonlu : Is the evol'-prescnt
posslhlllt ' ot moetlng n Bnshl-Bn1.oul ,
II } an all ( ' ' .
\fnssochusetts : pnslor I os resIgned
eeauso hI" " church wouldn't rnlse his
alllry ahovlJ 1 a wee Ie. 'Xwelve
tlollnrs Is n lot or money.
The puget ound fmlll10n crop Is reported -
ported to he alll10st n totnl fulluro. AlaR
for lhp. massPRI With salmon hp 'ol(1
their I'caeh little thnt Is wOI.th while
will be Icrt Cor thom.
A Germnn adol' has been sent to jail
tor ettlng off stuJo joles nbout the
emperor. It they were nn .thlng lIIee
the .Amcrlcun stnge jokes we can't
blnmo the e1 lperor for shutting hIm up.
A PhiladelphIa millionaire has recelv.
ed two hUlldred nlld t went ' - fi'e thou-
som1 dollars for the rent t hIs. steum
rac t In the past fifteen months ,
Uappy thought : let us all rent our
, team yachts nm1 ot rIch qulcl. .
Oanadn hns been dIggIng cnnals to
"omo purpose. ns the dlv rslon of rnln
ndo trom Atlnntlc lOrts In the UnIt.
ed States to Montrenl sumclently at-
tests. The fnct tllat Cunadn Is so Cal'
north thnt her canals uro tro1.en up .
urlng many months 01' the 'cnr hils
not induced the Canudtuns to rel ' sole.
Iy upon rail transportation , l'he - 11.1'0
reapIng the reward ot theIr courn e
In oponlng their water wu 's , whIch
orvo not only to Induce trade , but to
modlCy ra tC ,
Assuming that the people at ChUl'ch
Sn the mornIng nnd evening arc not the' '
6amo , ono person In ever - tour and a
lI1.lt goes to ehurch evC'r - Sundny In
London. The London Dally News has
nscertalncd thIs nter a cum'ass of sIx
l11onths. It has dlRCO\'erod thut the
Ohureh ot Englnnd leads In totul at-
endanee , tbat the non.con1'ormlsts 11.1'0
econd and the Itomnn Catholics thIrd.
! rho non.contormlsts lead In the at.
endancc 01' men , with a hundred and
wenty thousand In church every Sun.
fay , nintnst nhlcty-elght thousand men
1n the Ohurch ot gngland churches.
hcro Is not seating uccommodatlon
In the churches tor a quarter ot the
popula.tlon. I..ondon and many , It not
nll , Inrgo AmerIcan cIties dll'fer In
thl8 respect trom many smnll villages ,
where the churches are BO numerous
hat they could readily hold every mnn ,
woman and child In the place.
No one need find an 'thlnlf pnrndoxl.
cnl In the tn.tement thut cooldn ; ; .
'whIch ' Is one ot the oldest or temln.
ine qccupatlons , orrers a' new protC '
sIan to women. It hi true that women
have alwnrs cookell , hut not In the
model'll sense. SUI'\'e .lng Is the Coun ,
dation oC civil engineering , 111Id Wush.
Ington lutd the reputation or heln u
gooll SIll'\.ror : 1H1t 11' ho wel'l' alh'e
'to.dny , und were put at work hORldr.
n young rnduate of n technical school ,
the ohllnces ure ten to one that the
-oung man would easily outelll1\8 tIlC
father ot his country. Cool.lnl ; hnf
gene through somewhat the saml' Iin
or evolution ns has ch'll englneel'lu
" 'Xhe kInd thnt mother used to 1I1ul.e'
"s " a term ot pleusnnt remlnlHcl'ncl
rather than a descrItIvo ! accurae '
Tbe ndmlRslo11 comes hn.rd nnd 80Ul1l11
, ungrllteful , but truth demnnds It , Th
toUler dny 11. 'ollng W01l111n WU ! ! np
.
! pointed omclnl dlotlclnn .to the city 0
: New Yorl" , She sits nt a bIg I'OIl.tol
desk In the office or the department 0
charities , and h ' moans of the tele
ph0110 controls nIl the cools In nil tIll
! } IOSJlltnlS nnd other Institutions \111(10
1110 rule of the n111nlclpnl uutJloritl 1 !
iShe owns her posItion to her 1010\\1
\ e not merel ' ot the 1)\'I'Jlaratloll 0
food but the chemlsl1' ' . ' '
: , .or It. 'I'm
follogo gIrls , after a thol'O\1gh CCiurSI
rt study relating to foolls , ha vo 0(11'11 (
lll1. bukery. It Wl18 theIr Idea to mule ,
I\Dd sell a beLterIJtlt { , oC bl1ll : Uln1
ho ordjna . 1111.1er . pI'ovldes. ' 1'I1e ;
ro doln It with so much S1ll'CO 'i thu
tile buslnC s hns alrend ' outgrn\\"n th
plant , and an ot.ollslon ot their bull
" , g Is neeellsa1'he8e nrl ! II\1 111
tnnces ot A tendcncy which show
, tsel1' In wnny wI1 's ; tor exn1l1ph ! , I
he hundre < 'l ' ot "health tooels" whl ! !
p.ro 80 ceneral1y I1d\'ortlsud unll s
"Yldel1 Bold. The ireatestroducer
- - P. - - " ; ' . . . . r - . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . - . * _ - r.t. . .
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at thn IIIl1tol'lnl of Coull In tIll''OI'lel ,
AuwrlcHlIs 1III\'e ! Jccu hllclnvllnl In tI.o
I1rt uf IlrC'I'"I'luJ"t ' It 1)1'ulol'I ) , " for IISl' .
lR1Ieclall : ' Is thlH t1'UO ( , r Iht ! rl'll11lry ,
nltholllh POllulur opllll..u 11I1l ' ! JI' to
th" eOllt1'nl' ' . 'rhl' schools 111'1' gl\'lnJ. ! .
good trnlnillgIud' tlwl'e 1oI ! nrtd ! ot
It all. " 'l'he lellld thut 11.1I11l1tor
1I1111 ; < , ' ! ! " 111n3' 'et l'I'placo thl ! oh1l'r IInd
1I10ra common Ihrnse ,
As n result of dletal' ' oXIWrllllC'llts
canlod 011 III Ohlcu o I1wl othel' clt Ie ! !
the I1CIIIlrtUll'nL of ugrlcnltlll'l ! at'lIl1h -
Ington Is II hlo to IIlInOllllCp. ROnl ! ! In ,
ter'stln faC'ts I1S to the eost of liv-
Ing. Aithouh ! livIng eXJellfws ) ure
notorloufily hl h , It hns l'ounc ! that
Clunlllos ma ' be mnlntuluell In com ,
IHuntlvo comfort nt a HllrllrlHlngly low
eONt , 'l'ho obRel'\'n t Ion or the fooel
consumed b ' ono t/lllllly 1'01llIlrlslll ; ' :
COUl' adults Rho wed a total expcnso ot
$ : i.m : for the InenlH of ono week , thC'
hili ot tlU'O Includllll ; sirloin iiI I'll I , .
I
1IIu1ton chops , pork , lIsh , I' ! ; S 111111 II
val'lety of ycgelnhles , A Cllmll ' of
six , two of who III were chlldr'l'n , ex-
Ilt'llIl'd $0,18 fOI' the food RIIJlJlI ' or
ono week. ! n IIl10ther hOllfJl'holc ! thl !
weel's fooel sUJ1f1I ' fOI' thu jlllrents
unc ! n"e chlldl'Cl ) cost enl . $ : i.I. : A I.
(0)'ther ( ) the cXIerlnwnls ) sho111111 the :
CIIHt oC dlot for each IwrHon ) ) el' dll'm
vl1l'led Crolll H ; Cl'ntR tot : : ! Cl'ntH. tJl ( !
\'I'l'n o behl n hout : : ! cl'nls , 11 Is , or
co Ul'Sl ! , of no ef'llCclul v/llne 10' . Iwow
for how s1llull I\n nmount hUllllln he.
IngH can live , Indeed , no oX1lcrllllcnts
I\ru Iwetled to show thnt nL a pinch
1IIUII cnn IIvo COl' n IIUIII much smaller
thun 11lI . menlloned In the lIg'rlcnl1urd :
dOJal'tlllent's ) rellOrts. n ' reslrlctlng'
hlmselr to the cheapest Cooll IInd 1111. .
Inl ; the mlnll11um IImount neccssu' : '
to keep hOII ' IInd 80ul together a 1IIan
might keep ullve Indefinitely on n few
cents It dlhut his cXlwl'lmcnt would
bo vnluoless , It Is of Impol'tl\nco , ho\\ '
ever , tllllL men 1\1111 wOlllen genOl'III1J
shouhl Imow how so to nrranj.o tll < :
famll ' Coed supjll ' thl\ the la r ( lRt
lQsslblo benellt ma ) ' bl ! der1\'cd frOl I
whutover sum Is to bo expended , ' 1'h < :
ohject should ho not to see how Chl'lIf1'
I . fl1mlllcR clln IIv.c , but how wI'lI th
cun lI\'e UllOn such sums us tlle ' ( 'lIn
I'ensonnhl . nfl'ol'd to expend , Studlcd
wIth thIs end In vlow such experl ,
ments us t.hoso now mn e hy the dt.
p:11'tl11ont : of ugrleulture may bo rl
Iurded as holllfu1. B ' II voIding Wl\sto
and using good jud l11ont In bu 'lng'
the fnmll ; ) ' lIuP1llles man ' fa m III e"
cou1l1 enjoy a Il\rgor 111111 1II0re'arle ( \
bill of Cure thun the ' do now und with ,
out at nil Incl'l uslng the expense. 'l'lu.
exporhnont should be conslclel'ed ! l'
this lIJtht an as nn nld to bottoI' lIv
Ing condItions , 'rho wOl'hl's hest worlt
ers , UIO most Intolllgent and Iu'ogl'es
sh'e lUon und the best developed chll
dren como from h0111ell where teed II :
nutrItious , well cooked nnd ample In
quantity.
MAN WHO DESERVES PITY.
He Who Is Comllcllcil to l at He.toU'
runt lIrenkfn.ta to Bc Con.olell.
A pleu for plt ' Is entered b . IIn eust-
el'll journal ou behalf of thl ! unCortu ,
nato l11an who , through the SUlUlllor' '
1110nths Is forced to uut a resuml'lllJt
lIrolllcfust or walt uutll hmclll'on time
to bl'eule hIs 1'ust , Audthe l.'OllImhera.
tlon Is sollcltl. " becuuse 80111l'Oue l1ns
compll1luc thut restnul'Ilnt IcccpCII's do
not gl\'o tbe U1110unt ot attention to
sorvlng the a "s l1rst menl that the '
do to the two III tot' o nl.'S , 'here ure
no bUl' und fllst 1IIU1'OS at baud to
Pl'O\'O that tbls , Is so , but It Is rnther
a geneml conclusIon that left-overs
trom the da ' beroro url ! used for the
llrst comc1\ ! and thut thIs Is hardly
squure dealing ,
' 1'hen , besIdes the matter ot teed be.
Ing nonc too fresb , tho1'e Is cOl11plulut
thut tboru Is much of solUns to rlgbts
In the restn urants during the hour one
wIshes to take brealctust , wbkoh I.Te.
utes u con1'uslon culculllte < 1 to mukc
even un appetizIng meal un ujo 'able.
Sweeping , dusting , flIllng of snIt , pl'P'
per uud'Ine ar recexmCleB go onIn'
del' the ' ' ' while the
pntron's'er nose ,
waltel's dl8plu ' n sung 1'1'Old that tells
hIm , or IIpJenrs ! to do BO , thl\t he hus
no busIness to eut In strllnge plncce ,
thnt If ho hus u homo he 8110uld be
In it and that Ir he hnsn't a placl ! to
call home ho Is n'er ' poor spoelmen ,
Indeed , nud not worth . of 11101'0 con ,
sldel'ilUon Umn ho Is reeol\'lu .
WIth tJI\l' coll1plulnts ut IlI\nd , then ,
It tJoems we shl1l1 ull hl1\'o to tllle 11
I Cor ! "I'untod thl\t thel'e'B n fOUlll111tlolJ
ot tnet for them 111111 do what we CIIII
, to hUIH'ess It upon l'est\\ll'll1t : I'eepol'f
tJlI1t theIr nrst dul ' in 8ummer Is t (
110 tholr shurl ! towllrd mnld\l 111'1
lleaSl\llt 1'01' thl ! sl'I1'-sac1'ltlclng mal
who Bcuds hIs tamll ' to the countr
whllo he Rtn 's behlud 111111 enrns UII
' ' tbelr bills aud hIs
1ll0ne to llI1 own
An u w'l\lwnluC' to thIs duty swolr
' 1III'ouh ; the runls of IIUl'\'e 'ors 0 :
I life's IlC'cC'Hsl\l'les nnd phaa1ll'o 'e.\n
J
aJ.o : nnd Ule resultli hlVC bel'n Uf ! sat
Istaetor ' as sUhBtltutes , or , wo mlgh
say , compcnsatlons could well he , 1.0
the restaurunt Icelers join thIs ball (
of homo missionarIes and the desertQo (
Imsbnnd ml\Y l1nd 1'hl1 t dcsCl'ton ! Isn'
nil 'Ule bad things th.1t some foils de
clare It to be ,
'l'hll Compo'llto 11011110.
Wlll'n i'lr. Sublmb built n nest
III whIch to house hIs bride ,
lIe borrowed Crom hIs friends till ! best
Idcous the ) ' hlld tried ,
IIo borrowed here , he borrowed tllere-
Smith's frieze IInd GrN'n' veneer ;
lIe borrowoo Jobnllon' IJOrte-eocbere
AIIII Coop r'lI cll ntlcller.
lIe horrowed Wlllon' . water tnnk ,
Pnrk'g pnntry , 01'11)11 trllI ;
And then he borrow d from the bauk
' 1'111'1 cmw to poy Ule bilL
-I.lllplncabt'll Morulne ,
No ml1u' . Ignorance ever'proventc ,
him trom i'lyJDIr adT1r.o.
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I CANDY AND CANCER.
An Inetlon Arm , . O 1cer' " Thcor , . . 01
he Hrcnt ! HIc"c. !
In an 1I1'lIele III thl' 1I1111ull felllp.al
GAzette , Cnptnlll ! oJ , It , ItOfot , 1. : \1. \ R. ,
attrlhutes till ! 1'IHI' III Cllllrt'I' lI101'tllllly
io an I11CrCIlHl'11 elHIHulIIlltloll of SUIIII' ,
In the (01'111 of fweelllll'lIts UI1\l otlll'r
( lollcllcles of 1IIoclrll ! cOllfeltlollery ! ,
hill 11 CUI'I'P IHllllllllg ttr.II1UllolI III the
" of uJt-IIl'efel'\"ed lu'Ucll'R of diet.
Uls thcOl' ' Is thl\t lIIulIlIl\lIt ! dlRellHc IA
paJ'lIsltlc lu OI'IJ.III , 1111(1 ( If ! IIIIU to the
IIIVll81011 of t he IHlII ' h ' n sncl'llll1'Olllr'
Jete , the II'owth of1I1'h Is \'ol'el1
IJ ' ltleURI' , hut 1lIl1lhlll'd h ' tiub.
ItlllH'es l'olltnlnhlJt clllol'hll' , I\ml olll '
tdllllR81hlo wllclI thl ! IllllOUllt oC chlo.
llIe In the hell ' falls helow 1101'1111\1. \
SOIlll' of his eXIIl'I'IIIIPIIIs. whl'h hi' 1'0'
wI'lIK In SUppolt of lhls1 0 \ \ ' , l\I'e ruth.
er 1'ellllll'lmbll' . lIe hus cultlvl\tcc1 SIlC'
' 'Cltcs fl'OlII \'lIrlt ' tIC tu.
ehlll'III ( n \ ( !
11101'11 011 strl'lIl' ca 110 SUIU I' , II 1111 lias
tlso pl'epIII'l'd whnt he dl'II'11I1'1I 1111 "n
tl1111 of t ' " h ' IH'I'M'l'\'III ( "
UIIIII1' ja III , \ IIUl"
tlolls of tUlllors III the ali1C' lIIC'dlulII.
HecllollH 01' thlR "jalll" Hho"llle tu.
11101' cell IIH USUI\I , hut the Maccllaro.
rnycet's 1I1JOUllllhll ; 111 UlIII hl'll'PII
thelll , " lIe ) llIssl'll l'Illol'hlt' ) : as
thl'ough his cut\1l'es ! of'l'harolll ! "
Celt'H , 111111 foII II I tllal It "rapllllIllkll
the orga IIhmls , I\ull It Is e\1I10Iltl . tIll !
chlorille t 111t Is the 1\1 h'e 11 l'lIt , "
Accordlll 10 Caltlllll Itmit , Ihe guill ,
III Ilrlllclple 111 the tl''atllllut of 1'1111'
cer should he to dl1ll11l18h lho alllOUlIt
of hl'uSO III t hl' hol1 ' 1\11I1 hlcreaMC
111e 1\1II0U1It or ehlorhw , t hel'l'h ' I'ell-
1101'1111- t h ( ' 1m 1I1'1I t's 1Ioll ' U 11 UIl fa01' .
nble cult1ll'P lIIelllum fOl' till' Sllcl'llle
mlerool'g'IIUhiIlIS , He lias IlIlt this
tlleol'Y Illto 1'11lctlco UpOIl 11'11 pllllellls ,
hIs tl'l'allllcllt cOlIsls1l1lJ. ; "lIr'Ht , oC a
s1rlct IIluuollc IIlet , a 11I1 , sl'com1l ' , of
plllllg lu 80111uIII ehlI'hle ( Illto the
holly , 111111 III'C\"Cll11I1g its excl'l'tloll as
much 111'1 ' Isslhle , " ' 1'he rcsults III'C
Euld ; to hn'e h'eu 1II0St succcssful ,
hut , ullfortullately , Ihe plltlC'uts tllI'lII'
solves do 1I0t UIIIeal' , to hn0 Ill'eu
uUl\ulmous liS to the nc1\11II1nJtes of the
tl'elltmollt the ' WCI'O recl'l\'llIg , slllce
Cour out or tholl' number 1'\11 : uwa ' ,
xpel'lmonts wel'O ulso h'led UpOII uul.
11111 Is , l'1l1ICc'rous ma tOl'lal und "sacchn.
l'omycetes" ohtl\llIcd b ' clllt11l'e f1'01l1
cuucers helngHWII for Inoculation ;
yarlous lesions wel'o 1)I'oducell. anl1 In
Fome Instancl's the Intluouce oC u snlt
diet UIon ) the uffecled unlmllls WIIS
6tul11ed , In Imltntlon of the hU1l11'111
pntlcnts , "one Iulneu III ! ; a1ll1 ono cat
nbscondcd , " uPlmrentJ ' before the
of solllum chlorIde hud been
/lccorded to them.
'he announcement that sweetmeats
predlsposo to ( 'unCCI' , If It IIl1ds Its
wuy Into the cheupcI' seusatlonal jour.
nallsm , mllY 111'0\0 nllll'mln to sun.
dry juvenile und Cemlnlne renders ; but
If It checks thelt' nllpetlte 1'01' contec.
tlonery It will at 1lIst Impro\'e tholr
dIgestion ; and , ulthough thc IIHe of RO.
dlum chlorllle 118 un Ilntldote would
engendel' n thIrst whIch mlJht ho
slnlcd ullwlsel ' , there Is lIttle fear 01'
50 unlmlatnhle It 'remed ' hecomlng
popular , Stili , we thlnl. that Oaptllin
Host would huye been wIRe In deCer.
rIng the IH11JlIcntlon ot hIs theol'les
until he hall estubllshed thcm on n
somewhat bl'oader scIentific husls.-
BritIsh Medlcnl Jour1lul ,
AN HONEST MAN.
I
lie Hefnwctl to Profit hy CQrele'"csll '
In Hccorlllnt. : l nrly TrutlBfer8.
An IncIdent , whIch exhIbits the stol'l.
Ing Integl'lt ' of a man who could withstand -
stand the tomptutlons ot weulth rather
than do t.ho smallest act of Injustice ,
Is told In U1. : . Ohlttenden's "History
ot Steambout Navlb'atlon on the : \fls.
souI'I Hlnr , " 'rhe prlncllml uctorous
ono of the eurly Bottlers oC St , LouIs ,
II [ r. LeBnrge , who had purchned 11
smull tract of IlInd tor whIch he paId
twenty.five dollars.
l.and was then ot very little mluo ,
n11l1 LrunsCers were ofteu mlllie wltllout
dced and with no more tOl'lnalltr thllll
In exchnlltln cnttlo or horses. In
thIs wuy1' : , LoBnrge tl'adNI hIs land
on whnt Is now Olalr street , St. Louis ,
to Oha11l'ln I.ebcau Cor a hOl'flC ,
Long rears I1ftcrward , when these
trnnsactIons were almost forgotten ,
and the II1'Op01.ty had bet'Ome "er '
Vl1hll1ble , 11 lu wycr prescntell hhuRl.lt
to the old gentlomlln anll uskr.d 111m
It ho hnd e\'Ul' owned any land enC
C 011 11.1' Rtl'eet.11' : , La 11 u rJl' : l't'IlIed III
the atllrmatlve , und desrrlhed Its loral.
Ity. ' 1'ho la w ' ( 'r tll'n nslt ( him w'hen
and how hc dIsposed of It. IIo coulll
not nt Ih'st I'ccall , hut 11's. LoBargo
rOll1emlerell , the cll'cumstancl's Ilnd rl'-
latud them to the law 'er , at tile Rame
tlmo remul'klng to hel' hushllU thnt
that WIlS the way tll ( ' ' got theil' horse
to Bet themseh'cs up on the furm with , !
' 1'ho Inw 'or theu IIss11l'ed [ r. I.e.
Durge thl1t the title to thIs IIrOH'I'tJ' }
was still , "ested In hIm , IInd thnt ho
could hold It IIgalnst all comers , for
there 'WI1S nbsol1ltely no recol'd ot the
conve 'nnco lu exlslence ,
'l'ho 0111 gontllluun ! , wltll 11 look or
Indignation , asled tbo luw 'er 11' ho
tool , hIm for 1 tllle ! .
"I troded that 1111111 , " snltl he , lito
Chl1urlll Ll'1leuu (01' 11. horse , whIch
wus wOI' h 11101'0 to mo thnn tIlC luud
wns , 1 shull Rtnnd by the bnrgulll
now , It < : ha\11'ln Lehcnu's helt's have
no title , toll them to como to me I1n(1 (
( will multo them a 11ued before I die. "
. The TI'UHt QUIJltlon III Gormany.
'l'he Gel'l an Imllcrlnl BOlli'll ot
frade hns I'Cluostcd ull chumuers of
: ommorco to l'elort mlnutl'l o ull tuots
Cor or n alnst the orgunlzaUon ot
U'usts.
Juc the Yoftr Armllul.
rXllero Is a poInt nenr the famous
fHon ' ca ye , III the Cutsklll Moulltnlns ,
" Iwhere Ice WilY be found on any dAy
t the year.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _ . . . . . . . _ _ _ . _ . -J _
-
. . . . .
- - -
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA.
RIOUS HUMORIST8.
I'lcnlInt ! Incldcnts Occurrlnt. : the
" 'orld lh'CI'-8u3'hlUH ; tltn t Arc CJccr- I
rill to 0111 III' YuuIII.'nnllY Selec.
tlon ! ' ! thu t YOII Will l "Ju'y.
" ' ' " ' ' thc hrhlo of two
"llOIl1' , whlo'I'Cl'tl ! ' (
hO\1l's. " 'ou 110n't rogl'et Inll1-I' 'lng me ,
CVt'n 'l't "
. . o , arllng , " rCllIed ) Henr ' . " ot
e\"en 'e1 ! "
The tmln sled ) on , U1HI Rhe was hl1)1' )
p ' COl' l\llothel' fi\"e mInutes.
A I.JttJo IhIAC.
; \I'S. WlthCl'ly-1 bought Ulls rug Cor
the bl1.h ' to ) lln ' on ,
Wlthol'I-Well , don't lel her Iell0W It.
HoIII ! : 1118 Shnrc.
A n I' ) ' } , 'II t hel'- Young mun , 'ou nl'e
s.lttlng'1)1 ) too 11to with m ' 11:1\1)h. )
[ PI' , Lnst nIght I hel1l' you Idsslng
1111' : .
.
f'ull'I'ton--.cll , 511' , me one hus
ot to ,
o TltJc't.
" " ' M"I . . . . . . III
b. " , . _ lr. . . . .
\\11110 Wlnlel'mnn-And ' '
- so 'ou won't
' ' ' ' ?
lI1al'l' nll'
: \fnlllle ) [ ontnnlt--Wh ' . how pel'fect.
I ' ridIculous : rou I1re , WillIe. " 'h . ,
) oU'l'e nothIng but un Amol'lcun.
WII ) ' It 'I'ntted Hlttcr.
A ph 'slcll1n had occasIon to prescrlhe
quInIne to 11. patient , un clderl ' Il1d '
who was not used to modcm wa 's of
ndmlnlstel'lng IIIC1Hclne , The quInIne
WIIS ol'derod III Cllllsules-tweh'e , each
( 'ontalnlng foul' gmhls. About It weel ,
latcl' the doctor was call1'd to altem } a
daughter of the old IlId - , nnd he 110-
tlced what he sUlposed ) WCl'e the quI.
nIne CIIIsulos he had Ilroscrlbcd , 'urn.
In to the mothot. , ho I1skcdwhy she
hllli 110t tul.en thc medIcine ,
"Sure , doctor , do 'ou mean that bIt.
leI' powder ? Yes , I tool. It , lJUt hud
hal'd work getting out of these HUlo
gluss tlilngs It wns lIut up In-Phila-
delphla Leder ! ,
I'rct'lctl.
"Wh ' , how r11lnJled ! 'our shIrt wnlst
15 , Edith ! "
"Dcal' me ! and It has only just been
IIl'essed , too. "
Edith was l1ulto us selr-possessQol as
eVC1' . nut St. John colored deepl ) ' ,
She Kllcw 111m.
lIe- When did , rou be ln to suspect I
J wus In lo"e.lth 'ou ? !
I
ho-Tho da ' 'ou told me I could
ha\"c un .thlng I wanted on the bill of
CUl'e ,
- -
Imllortant to YOllnIcn ,
A ! ; h'l would 1"11 thN' 11110 a hul :
! Jouncl of .10-cout cnllll ' In a fl1ncy 1I0x
with 11 I'od 1'lhhol1 1'0ulld It than n
) lollnd of'SOcl'nt cl\l1l ' In a lnper bag.
-Some1'\'lIIo , Tonrnal ,
A Common Af1l1ctlon.
"How's he fixed 1"
"oh , he hns the usual sh'awherr1 all'
potlto and pr\lne Income.-Puck ,
' \0111.1 Fix It ,
- - -
I }
11 s ltl1'jllll\-Yo\1l' company Is < 1ls.
ta"teful to IIIC ,
( 'ol'lol'al ) Plnhead-'l'hen I'll resign
f"om " It. 1 don't IIko beIng n soldIer ,
r i\ll 'WIlY ,
er"Pllt8.
1o'h'Mt IIousewlfe-Somo du 's I undo
IIhollt o\'el. .thlng the 80r\'nnt docs ,
oeollll 1I0llsewltl.-Grnclousl IIo\V
do 'ou dl\re'/ /
IIcldlld the fccIICI ! ,
Swcet Sin/cr-'ho / trllglIull BaYII In
coming' through the RI kles on a train
last wlntm' he couldn't see out ot the
wlmlowt ! ,
: -tubl"Ctto" ' 'CI'I'lble snowstorm , I
gUl'liS.
SWl'et Sln or-Box car , more 1I1cly.
I III III HIht ,
Count Yucum-\h , cot Reoms znt zc
rIch . \lIIerlcllll ll'ls lIl'e gotUng scnl'COI
111111 ' ' Cm'
sem'COl' us ,
COllllt IJoll-'es , monRleur , 1111 zc
' et'I'leh'lulck' COnccrl\i \ ! are recei\"lnJ. :
hl\rll blowtl In Amol'lcn
, . . . . - - - _ . . . . . . . . . .t. . . . . , _ . . . _ . _ . . . . . . . . . _ , . . . , _ _
. . , . -
- . - . . . - . .
- - -
TIllie to Unit.
Sl\nd ' - Why 11.1'0 'er I'ullnlng so lnst ,
pn-d1 :
Clncters-Dere's n lynchln' mob be.
hllld mI ! .
Sl\ndy-Dey don't wnnt to lynch yer ,
do dc ' ? '
CInders-No , 1Iut dey wnnt dls
clothcR.lIno I'm wearin us suspenders
fl'l' do rOlle ,
Hchclllc 1'hllt I.'nllcil.
"Slexclulmod \ the 11Inn In n
hOlll'se wlllllller , liS he mcL his wfo } at
the depol , "didn't I telegraph 'ou not
to Ill'ln ' 01ll' Illother' , "
"Yes , " UllS\\'t'I'Cll shc , "huL she open.
cd tlw IIII'SlIng'1 ! uIIII Inslstcl ( on comhlg
IIlung to In\'cHt1gllt-Chlcngo Dally
Ne\\'R.
" ChnllJc of 0111111011.
"So ther 1I11111e(1 ( 11. clgur nfter 'ou ? "
"Yell , " IIl1s\\'orel1 the sporting 111an ,
in II II uhlou ! ! tOile.
"Quito II eompllment , "
"I thought HO till I 811101.011 one or
the \ImI'll. , 1'hon 1 coucluded It was n
libel , "
FCIII tnlnc Ch"rlty. ,
IIc--\lIss : Bldol'lclgh ccrtuinly has n
\01' ) ' l'XIII'cRsl\'e fnco ,
RIIL'- Yes , 111lleed , It's the \'er ' best
1II0ut. . can bur.
OllC ofInll ; , .
Hubberton-Dld , Tones lo without n
\\1II ?
DI' . QUllcl.em-Xo , Indeed. He dIed
'
\'el' ) ' 1I1uch 1lIlnst hIs will. .
- -
Tcrrlhlr. to COlltel1l111utc ,
Ln Iontt-l see sone ouo hus Im-ent ,
ell II IlI'ojodlle In the shupo of 11. clga' ; .
thll t , , ' 111 I1nulhl1l1 te nn arll1 . .
I..a\Io . : 'ne-You don't sa ' 1 I het U
tllI' ) ' mlllle It lu the shnpe of a rncln
u utolllobilo I t would Idll twlco as
lUun ' ,
Qnitc Anothcr l\lnttcr.
"Herol'l' I gi\'o ) ' 0\1 mr unswcr , " slild
the lIuffllIllre < l summer girl , "I would
like to Imo.If 'ou I\re In a posltioI1
to Ie. el ) mo In the st 'le to which I hU\'d
nl wn 's he.'n nccustomed , "
"I f the f't 'les don't chungo too OctOIl
I nm , " replied the wise 'outh , "Other.
wIse the odds are In fl\\'or 01' my .goln
brolcc , "
A SC\'crc 1'c t.
er FuUler ( protestlnglYou ) wlsll
to lI1urr ' lI1 - dnughter , ohWhy , sh
hns enl ' just gradunted !
SuItor ( mngnuulmousl ) lenow It I
And 'ot I 10\'e her-1'ucl. ! ,
A COIJIJlnr18on.
r- ,
Stout : \run-llullol You look as II
'ou 11:111 : beell rhllng on a barrel.
llow-Leggod nuu-You look liS It YO\
had swnllowed one.
IIc0 > 4 n Hllilclnn. ; .
"John , " suld the 'oung wlte whe
prides herself on helng sensIble rlgh
UII to the limIt , "just notice how eI.lR '
Jittlng l11 . now shocs ure. "
"Yes , I see , " uuswl'Ted , John.
IIAnd Jobn , " she continued , "do YOI
Imow why I nlwnys get my shocs 51
Iargo't"
" " tlle othe
"Oh , replied 11ngnllant
hnlf of the slectcll , "I SUIpOSe It's be
. l1a\'e such feot. "
causc .ou \ blr ;
Her Only Comlllcnt.
IIXc\'crthelcss , m ' dear , " saId tll <
mnRcullne 1I0l.tlon of the comblll (
"there ure u 11\1111ber of men In th
world who l11'e m o 111'u1nl luferlors , "
" .Tolm , " rejoin , d the wlCo of hI
bor.om 1\8 sbe lookoll hIm square In th
eJ'e , " 'ou we'e I\I\\'u 's 1cont rmel
crnlc. "
Ont lit First ,
"Sr ; , " hegl\u thl' ' 01llIg man , "I cam
to ask ' 011l' daughter's hllud In mill
rlnge. I feel thnt I am 110t worlllY 0
lieI' , but- "
"YOU11g mnu , " Interl"1lllted the stcr :
pareut , , ' ! Cl1l1 ' agl'e ( . ' with 'on on tl1n
pol11t , uud there Is nothlug J'mther t
be sl\lcl on the subject. Oood.e\'enln {
sir. "
I XICIU lye J.uxllrlc" " "
\"e1'11. IIltol1e--'WIlI 'ou I.eep YO\1
promIse und 1'eslgll from J'our club jm
as soon as I hecomo ' 01l1' wl1'o ?
Cnl \lettc--1'1l : hu ye to , Couldn' '
ufford both , 'ou Imow.
An crnl" " .
Pete-Dey tell mo dat hully wns a.
wnys comIng 111'0\11111 here 1001dnl : to
scrups. DId 'o' accom1l10du to him ?
. Ah hIt bh
Snm-Shoull1 su so.
wId n howl ob hnsh ,
Thc Ncxt Bellt Thin/ : .
"Polell\ll1ter tulls nhout makIng It
' In automohlle , "
Arctic t1'll ) 1111
"Whr , ho coull1n't teuch the pol
thnt wu ' , "
"No , but he coulll como back I1n
tell how ho dll1n't , "
lint Urnft.
; \nhoolo-.Aln't yez th' 'Wtln tllI
towlll 1110 nlver to dhrlnk 'W'nther wll
, ou t 1I011ln' ?
Ph 'slell\lI- Yes , sir.
! ) Iahoolc--'fhln OJ hov 1D10tnd 1
: murllll'r 'e. 01 11111'iU11t boiled ' ' ' ' 4th. .
a WII I\l1uosL hUl'lll < l me mouth ott.
. . " . . . . . " - . . . " " ' - ' - - . . . . . . . . . . . . . . : . . _ . , _ . . .
t
. '
, - .
.
. , n.-- .
- - _ _ T. ' . . _
.
LIKES THE ARMY LASSES.
1\1I1lIonolr" MOllnfncturcr So , . . The , "
Arc III. . . l\lnllc'oh.
"Ilero , mIss , tnlte thIs monoyl l"or
the 10\0 at heu\'en , don't go awny I
without tllldn/ / , ; this monc ' . "
So 'ellcel , T , C , S , , Jollllslone , nUn. ; .
lIel1polls manUful't1ll'er ho '
, as 1'1111
through the cOl'1'lclor of the AUllltor-
hUll ,
"Illl0 ) 'OU secu h'l'7" ho demnuded ,
liS he I'ushell. to the ( leRI , 111111 uccostel1
Clorl , hafl'I' .
" \\'ho' , " hll1ulred the lalter.
"Wh ' , the ah'atloll AI'mr mlSR thnt y
I Just passl'll through. "
" \ \ 'l'l1t'I'l' 10 the AI\ncx , " uliRwerod' r
thl ! cll'rlc al1d the lInnenlOlIlI 111l1n 1'1111
thl'ouJh the tunnel.
"Ua0 'ou Reen hl'l' ? " he quorled of
lhe Il1'Rt hellhor ho met.
"Who ? " InqulrClI the hollho ) ' In
I1I1Hlzcment.
"Thl' Sal \ ' tlon . \ rlll ' IIiRS thn t col-
I cls mOlll'r , "
" , TURt g'OIW lip the sh''et , " IInRwCl'ed
the lalter , I1ncl thlJ lIIali from [ ) nlle-
apolls I1lIg'ht hlYl borll IICl'n chuRln : ;
up the ayellUo a IIII11UtO Intcl' ,
Ho cau ht 111'1' just a8 she rcm'hed
, flld.sOIi houlo\'llrll ,
"Ucl'e , talw thIs 11011111' , " he RulliIS
lie pushecl 11 hili Into hrr hnl1el.III
don't Imowhlt \\'ould hn"l' 110111)
11' 1 haell1't el1u ht 'ou , " :11111 : then he
l'etu1'lIed to the hotel.
"I'd becl1 11 ) luUllt'r In twel1t.fout"
hours If I h11l111't givcn thut girl S01l10
1I10ne ) ' , " ho eXIlalllell to 1ho lIcoll )
I\'ho hl\d wa tehcd the chuRl' , " 'J'he . 'ro
.
111 muscotR , these Sill \"II tlon AI'III ) '
tasRes. I know t ha t I would 1111 ye hlel1
I hoodooed 11' I hlll1n't caught 111'1' . I'll
I II been broke sUre. "
lIe wus sllcnt 11 long tllllo , "UII\'on't
seen one iu tell 'eIU'8 without glylni
.
her moner. "
"Sullcrstltlous : " Inqulretl Ol1e of hIs
CI'IOlllls.
"Call It that If 'ou wallt to , hut It's
u conviction with 1110. } was SItUIlt ;
J.
rIght h'l'e IIbout tl'n 'elll's 11):0 ) whell
Olle of the1l1 tapllel1 1110 on the sholll-
Ilel' IllHl IIslwl1 we for a contribution.
Hnd 11 dlmo In m ' 1)0clct : 110 mOl'e ,
fUlt ] 110 job. Ii ung'r ) ' and 1'00111 rent
.
stnrlng me In thl ! fuce , V..ollderlng
whnt I would do with that dIme ,
I Didn't see wh ' I shouldn't us well h&
hroko us ha'e 11 dIme , 1'10 ' I turned It
oyor to her ,
"Thnt left me without a cont. TIll } \ .
Lord \\'Ol1't 1'00'got , " shc sllld , ,
" 'l\elthel' will I , ' 1 IIn8wel'ell , only
I meant that I wouldn't forget thnt t
was brolw , . \ lIIan hat ! just turned ll1
down for a job. Turn ell me down cold.
I WIIS wOl'r 'llIg , hut I had time to
wu teh that girl. I saw her strike thlr.
teen men without getting u COllt , ami
I auw the fOUl'teelith mlln glYO her $1.
' .rhere wns a Icssoll tor 1I1e. I got U1 >
IInd tried that slime man agnln. I hnll
resolved to tI'j' him Comtccn times , It
nece8Hurj' , But It wllsn't. He n\ " ( }
me a joh beeuuso ho llIee ! ! mj' nel'\'O.
and I want to tell you that I ha yo.
lIeon mlghtr IH'o"lwrous e\'er sInce. "
.
IIAlmost u mllllounire now , nln.t
you ? " . . .
"Well , closc onto It , and all 1I0cnus& ,
! thut II'I lIalllllnell to strl1to mo thnt
nfternoon , And sInce then 110 Sal\"a.
tlon Army ) :11'1 has o\'el' Ione a WilY-
wIthout mnr'lwn I was In th&
lIel h hOl'hool1 ,
"lIeroufter I won't o to sloel ) when
1'11I In this ueck of the wool1s , " hI }
eontlllue\l. "Thut girl clIme 110nr Iot.
tlu 11. WII ' fl'om me. If I hadn't cought
her I know thnt I woulel hu'e 11 tele.
grnm tellllll ; mo thnt m ' Cilctory had
becn struck b ' IIghtnln , Well , furo.
'ou'wcll , " 11l ! sulll , liS ho wallce a wny ,
"But , Rnr , unr time thut 'ou sen
ono 01' tl1oso gIrls give her somothlng , "
wus tha tluul InjunctIon , "Best In-
\-estllllnt you UVl'r mIHlo.-ChlclIga
ChronIcle.
ltoa < l Across the UC8crt.
'Vork Iii now In progrCRs In southern
CalifornIa upon IL 1I0ulcvnrd Intended
to PUS8 through th Colorado desert In
a strl.lgl1t IIno from the 1l1'ojected town
or llockwood to Cnlexlco , on the i'Iexl-
eun hordeI' . It will he 100 feet wlt1f
IInd thlrt . .tlve ml1i ! long , Alona
clthel' sIde of thl ! lIDulo\"u1'l1 I1m1 down
the contOl' will ho rows of trces to
shut elf th0 glnl'e or the deRert sun.
AI o on elthm' side will bC' Rmall cnn. .
als , whIch will not onlj' Irrigate till )
shudo tree : : . bllt 11180 will h utilized
to Inj' tile < < lUlit wilen the roael Is COUI.
o , pletcd. It will rCIIIre ! olll ' tl\'O lIIen
to cure f01' the l'IIt1O t.hll"t ' .lh'e 111118 ,
'l'he rapll gl\\\'th of trecs In th ,
dcsel.t CLlUlltl'j' will in8lu'c a lIlugn ! i ,
cent \011 Ill' In 11 'ver ' short tillie , At
thl ! Intematlonnl lIc ! : 14'lIlOnth-old wll ,
.
lows uro g1'owlng on the hllnls or th , ' "
Il11pel'lal canal SCV'II ( Indlcs In I1la1l1 ( )
tct. I1ml tllll'l ) ' feci high. The boul ! )
' .11.I'd wl11 gl\"e accus to 1he towm
of lloekwood , B1'ILwl ( ' ' . Imp.ol'lul , Sills.
lice , Onlcxlco , Iex'aln : , Ioxlcula an
mllll ' now YlIIlI m : ,
. .
- - - - -
' 1'ho } i' . ' \\'It" .l.u\'tloulu. . ,
A certaIn splustel' In 11Idlnnnpolliit
SU ' 5 the Jou1'llnl 01 llint cll ' , who hat
1I\"ld uloul ! In hel' hemtlCul and stnto-
I ' 11011I0 fOI' mlln ' J eal'H , I. > one of the
cll "s 1II0st lIola lu hUllsewlvos , Xo
] I cl1llllsh ! Ilnglrs ! hll ve e\"el' mnrred Ult
brlll1:1llce : of h'l' mirl'ol's und wlndoWI
or 1I1nred hn"oc wllh the hnndsomf
bl'OnZl'8 111111'ISe8 In t he dnlnt . cured
for dIning' 1'0011I'1 A t the home ot hOI
I'
lIrotbel' , when ! seven chlldl'en rom ;
from mOI'nlug ulltil night , ns mny be !
Imnglncl1. the 1'I111e : OXlulslto ( perfl'o
lion of houseleolling Is Imlosslbl )
Onl' dny lieI' small nIece returned I
home nUt'I' a tca IlIlrt . at nuntlo's , und I
1 , In 1111 IIwI'd"olce imhl : " [ umu , I sn" } . - I
11 tl ' In Aunt Inrln's hOllsO , hul !
( thollt.httullj' ; ) It wus wushlng Itseltl j
,
'l'he slllnll bo ' ah\"n 's wonders It 1111
motlll'r wHl eYQ1' et o\'cr being Bur
Irlse ( ] nt the things he doea.
.
. - " - " " ' - - ' - - - - - . . . . . . . . . - . . - . - , . . - . . . . . -
- -