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About Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921 | View Entire Issue (July 9, 1903)
, . . . . . . . . r , ' " ' . Custer County Republican III " ' ID , M. AM8111t1UtY. . 1t f 'cu .t I' UUSI ItV , , t , r rnnOKEN BOW , N 13R.ASI\A il UI\\'nnn hns follnd thnt It IIn's to Itel'p clrnll. i. . . _ , _ 'l'here IIrc .IUIII uf. IIl'ople who couhl ! . tnlk well 'If. tW , ) ' Imew whllt to tall , huu t. \ ' 1'ho trouhlc Wlt.h peolle , whll hn0 f ; ' , holes ; \ 1M fhnl fhe ) ' 11)\\11)11 ) wnnt ) ' 011 to rltle wllh thelll. . ' . . A gerlll hus I dlsco\'el'cd thnt 1 KellC'rntc8 0 fer(1 frenz } ' hllllclltt'll , b"n mnd desire to haul up carpels IIJld f\ 8CI'ub ( Joorfl" 1(1 ( J . " , , , ' ' A mol1enl ph'slclnn sn's when n ; 1I111n hllH l'hel1luntlsm tuere I\l'e hut two ' thh F.8 he Cllll tlo ; he cnn Jrln ntHl henr I It , , pr. benr It nnll not grin , f4 , ' : \ How cnn Uncle Snm crltlclsc the dll , . ' I1tory tnctlcs IHlr8U ( > d hy tlie Sill 111 II r \ Vln he bhnlClC has just 1111111 nil J , 11 WIU'll . of damnges , 102 ) 'Ollr/l / old ? . 'L. _ - - i The Knlser woultl rc/pcctfully gIve the world to ulHlerstnnd thnt III the , lI1 tter of beIng chumm ) ' with the ' : . 1"O.\e \ ; P ! < 'Rhlent Iloosevelt Is 1I0t till' ' - whQI9 clwcse. . " , Unce suicide mllY not be n chnrncter- Jstlc of Kentucky , bllt the frec nllll un , lIrqlt l sort or murder In which till' nut"es ! now nud , pwn Indlilge unlf\\'C\'g : ! mU , b c rnme purpoS < ' . Dr ; I.yntall Abbatt hns thra\\"ll Adnm a \'U l' bon I'd , Oh , see here , naw , this Iff too much ! We lire wlllln to. . compro' mise by tosslllg .Tonl\h to his wlullc , but' we mnlw n stnml r r Adnm , " . It 'ou nre In daubt os to whnt to do. . with , thnt spare doUur , sClld It to. . the ? A11l1ubon SDclet- , far protectlnt : the wild blt s Is IlOt' anly In the IntCTeat at plensurc nnd benuty , but af loeDn- omy. : i The Go\'ernor of Knnsas SIl8 be will nPlDlnt no I11nn to. . omce who hns not somcthlng Inld nwny far , n rnln ' dn ) ' . Whlit' ilols ! 'the Gaverllor af Knnsos thlrll' 'pl'Ople' , vant pUhllc btllces fOl' , unywnr : ? James B. MnrkumVIIS shot fr0111 behInd - hInd in Kentucky the other day. He Is the thirty-first victim af the feud with whlcli he III Identified. It Is hall' ed this reud wm soon be ended now , I\S Dnl ) ' a tew or the pnrtles to. . It lire left. A Boston JUdge hns deeldl'll that n mnn hns ns good a right to hiss I1t n thentor 'ns to npplaull. lIe mny hnve the legal right , but he never ought to , c'xerCiso It. SlIellco Is 1l1e worst SOl't af "frost" that can strUt ( ! 11 pIn ) ' In these dnys. ' A mO\'Cl11ellt hns been stl1rted In I rnncc to decrcnse the Intnntlle del1th fIlte so ns "to pro\'lde the requisite 1I111 ll.1er at recruits tor the nrlllY , " B ' thctwn ' , which Is the bott Jr WilY. to. . let i n bnb ) ' dlo whllo In sWllddlln ; clathes ' ar to. . hn'e It grow up to he shot ? A , Landon surgcon declnres thnt the ' ) leol1le 'of ' the present genemtlan nre hecomlllg'ery neuro.tIc . : that they nre mOI'ose , 1110rbld , nml thllt the ) ' tlJlnk It . . rOI11Ulltic to Btenl uWI1Y. If the ' will o\Is" ! stelll a < yay It Js not 'so. . hnd , It's tht' 'f llow Uutt steals n chlclwn , or 11 hank's f111l1is , or a franchlfie thu Itcep the' warlll's thou ht In disorder , I , [ qre thlln u tlIOUSIU1 Penns'I\'nnla mlnql's , "slt'Uek" the other da ' to de , l'IdQ the q11l'stlDn wheth r or not u , 111'111) ) , < ' : Is Il\rt of n l11ule'q horness" 'l'I c trou)1e ) rDse from the refuBnl af I'he stnlllel11en to. put on ille brll1les. Hef- C'l'eesrl'C01lnH1ded ! thnt the 1I\uleR ho dl'lnm without brl1les , and their sug- rstloll WI1H ndopted. Theil the 1I1en "a1l\c hacl ; : . 'ho 111ulos huye pass ll I \'ate uf thanls. ; : Corpentcrs who wer rCIIl\lrlng the 1\lIry WnshlngtOli 1.1 OU ! it' , apIIDslte I rcdcrlclsl)111'g ; : , recently found In thl' l''lIIng n sl1lull hatchet of pecullnr Nhnpl' . 'he ' beglln to tulk of the cherl" , } ' trI.'o IUtel the smnll ho ' who l'oulll 110t tell a lie , and nn old negl'O WOI1\U11 WIIS round who l'ornel1lhel'C scclng Gl'orge hide tile hlltchet u1't1' Its fnmou8 nchleyemcut. But-n11ll so t hl' romnUCe ( lIsnllpears from lICe- WashlngtDn " 'ns n gl'OW ( , ruun bl.'fare his 11\0ther houl.ht t11 bOIW . AlIIl th , chl'rl' ) ' tree hatchet Is stilt "nfoU1IIl , Ill , though It hI not u11houord or1IHung , : : WI.t You nl'Vl'r llCurd of p. trUl allhul\l thnt hnd rhe\11UutlslU uU It rl'uchod \ captJYlty und WI1S kC'l1tilt the c'urth. You nO\'r henrd of n llOJe thnt hnl ! rheul1\llthim untl11t 'WI1S I'JI d wHb Irpn and kept off the crtb. . . Tau 110YOr hoard of 11 doS thnt bn , rhelllnntlllm untlJ It became n houMbolt1 pet and . wns pnmpered-I'l'pt err the cl1rth , be heathe118 ot' ' AfrIca and the Pncl11c 1f\landB no\'er hnd rheumnUsm , so. . for r.s we know , until they ot to. . wcarln snndnls Dr shoes. 1 once kneW' a fool mlln wbo , , , 'll1 never ho got sIck , would dIg a trench III his gnrden , lie down In It and hnyo his wire CDV r him with trcth : ! earth ns tnI' up t. hJ chIn. ne would remnJn there for un houl' Or , two , then get up In fine spirits. 1\other , eartbl The contl1ctl It looked IIIw the resurrectlon-oIlll It wns. Let all tile boys go bnrefootl-d. Mrs. John G ; Carlisle , wlie ot tilE former Secretar. } ' or thl ) Unltl'd stateE Trol\sury , the other dn ' snt on thl' ns , pbnlt pavement on lrlrth n yen lie , Ney. . York110ldhll ; In her : Inp the hend nn loothlnE' the Imll ) ot one or her 110rse . . 'II , - , , . . . thn t hncJ slipped , broken n blaad rCRAf'1 I nlill11S d'llIg. It wnsn't n dlgnlfic IIr "COrl'"tII" 0 ttltllle Car n grent society IIHI ) ' , wns It ? And mtth nyenue , olon" I ollol1t 1'hlrt ' , fourth street , where thla IlCcullllr spectnclo occurred , Is such 11 Ilul ll pllic l 111 t'tie little whllo that : Ir . Cllrllsle Mt there on the pare- IMllt , hollllll the 11.'lns horse's hend , hUlldl'elis of fine Inlllcs , mnle nnd tc. mnle , InUBt h1\\'o swept hy In their tlno cnrl'lnJtes , IItnl'ted In , mncIIIent Hnd 1CIIl11l1cII : "How horlchlHly Improv- ( ! I'I" IIl1t It 19 not IIk'I ' thllt dlsa I' IH'O\'ln , ; llIncolI or I'l'mllrl'8 dlBI\\rhcd the (100(1 ( SII rnn 1'1 1.11 n , She hne ! ( or the m01l1l'nt 1'1'1I8l'l to ho the tine society Inll ) ' I1ncl hllll heeol11o lhe'omnn , 1'110 thill , shiny veneer of conventJonnllty I hllll fl1l1en 11 WilY , nnll n rel1t , warm" I trl10 , henrt wnR eXlloll'I , Peolile ml\ " : I Inu h nt the Impl1lslve frankness at. a trill' hCII rt , hut the t1'\10 henrt Imo.W9 . tllI' ) ' nr ! ! hut shnllow fools , 'l'hnt spec. I1Ic1u of one of the Il'ndlng women ot. tlw lallll slttlng'un the Imvmnent or thOi ( , OUlltl' "S most' fnshlollllhle thoro\1gh- fore , ellslng her Injured horse's denth pllngs , mllY Inck dignity , trom some \'lewllollltR , but from the true human- IIlIrllln'Iwolnt ) It hRs n supreme dignity - nity thnt Is borrowed rrom hlgb beav. en. en."A "A tom" u'nn9 something Indlvl8lbl but the chemlcnl I1tOI1l hns belled Its nnme , 'I'he atom ot h'drogen , tlll ) fll11allcst nnll lightest of tl1em nil , J/1 now helleved to be IIlnde up of nbou sevcn hUlldrcd "clectrons"-n nnm Jlven to the ultlmnte pllrtlcles at mnt , ; ler , I'llch of which Is chllrged with elc > c- h'lelt ) ' , 1'horo IH , p rhnls ) , no gronder conception of tlte constlt\1.1Ian of nutt- tel' thlln Is thllt Hot fOl'th In a recent lechn'c h ) ' Sir Oll\'er Lodge , one or the foronlost men of science of o.ur . time , lIe IIsls us to consider nn ntom of an ) " clement ns nn Infinitely IIttlo salnr , " R 'stem. It the clech'oll be cancelyed of ns hn vlng the size of the full stol } a t the end of this Ientence ! , the size eton on utom of hydl'gen will be thnt o.f . IL church ono hundred I1nd sixty feet lon , el hty fe t bl'oad nnd forty feet high. I.css thnn n thollsa11l1 elc > ctrons occupy the IItom , In the sense that nn nrmy accuples n countr ) ' . 'hey pre- ycnt lin.'thlng else from enterIng : tbey mnlte the ntom Impenetrllble , nlthough they do not fill a trllltonth pnrt o.f . th space with theIr nctunl substnnce : , The olectrous nre In vIolent motion nmong thl'U\Belves , hn vlns n speed probnbl ) " onotenth that ot lIght-thousands , at miles II seconll , Yet there Is little dan- Iter or colltslo.n . , tor the electrons uro milch further apart In pro.portlan . to their size than arc the planets af o.ul" . system. ' .rhus , sa ' 11 ; Sir 01l\'er , wo ho\'e came to. . on atomic nstro.nomy . , unel he suggests the mnzlng thought thnt there Is no such tiling as nbsoluto stze , I\nd thl1t eyen solnr and Btnr sys. tems mny be the atoms of a larger unl\'erse. It seems a contrndlcUon In terms to. . spcnk of tbe study of nn atom ns n mentis of broadenIng the mind ; hut where cnn one find n higher flight or the tl1ney thnn In the Idea ot thnt otom ns n sph'e of maUan at n specd whIch the humnn mind cnn hllrdly con , cetye ? I . If n cheerful prophet Is to be bellev. cd , the dl'eall scourge of cansumptlon will within n'er ' few } 'el1rs be en. Urel ) ' wiped onto 'he limit bns been set ut m ) 'enr9 for Prusstn , a 1\(1 20 ) 'enl'f ! Inter thnn thnt tur Englftnd , Amerlcn Is not In' the reclconlng , 'l'ho cheerful prophet Is Alfred lIlIIler , whose I1rtlcle , cl1r full - rortlflc willI stndHlIcs , Is cnuslnr ; profou1\lest In , terest muong Hclontlsts of l urope , nnl } hns Just been repnbllshed In Amerlcnn [ edlclne. IIlIIler's nrtlcle Is the boldJ l'Ht II 1111 moot specIfic proclamotlon yeU mnlle of the thcor ' thn t consmnpUon hils he n mustered , ITe presents n stn. tlHlIcul chnrt showing thnt lit the pn.'S' cot rate of decrooso de.1ths from pnl. monnr ' tuberculosis will cease In Prus , IIln In nbout t.he ' , : ) 'ellr 1027 By tbts tlmc , he orguos , the cUscnae will hn , = 0 111''I'c'used - greotly In Englnndllso , 'thoug-h the donth rnte from It thON will 1 > tlll he I1bout 8 per 10,000 , WithIn 20 'l'I\rs more , ho MYS , I < ngland , taa , will he frol' 1'1'0111 It. 'l'he figures upon wh\t'h \ Ir. Hillier' bases his conclusIons tell 11 IIln uslble fitory. 'rho PruBslnn stntlstlcs do not del11 with tllC phthlsl rnte nlone , but wIth all the deaths freml tuhel'cnloslR. ' .rhe decline or this rate to any notlll1l' extent bl'gKlt In 188\ } /lnl1 Iml\ \ been \'er ) ' rapid since thnt lime. l ro1l1 187to ( \ 188G tlle rn te wn 31 IICI' 10,000 , In ] 887 the drClp begn1\ , nnl1 conthl\1l'11 110wn to 1000 , lhe I1nte of the stntlstlcal report , when It hull fallen to 21 per ] 0,000 , ITI England , 111 the SII1110 Jlcrloll , the drop wns from 21 to m , 1'he rOJild tlill In the Prus. slon rnte Is nsrrtbed to tbree cnuses : (1) ( ) To tllO precautlans ngl1lnst Infec , tlOUR dlsense , lIue to. . the IlI8co\'er ' o.r . the I\lbl'rclo bacillus. (2) ( 'o the 1m , IH'O\'el1 conditions of tllO wDrltlng rlaHsl'8 thlo to the worlcmhn's Stnte In surunee In ws. (3) ( ) 1'0 the estn hll8h , l11'ut af sanltnrlmlls. In the United Stnte'S the dl'nth rate ( rom tuberculosis Is trl hUull ' bl h nnd Is suit ! to be In , crcnsinR. A Hernlllllor , Jul1lf-'l'hc ) fn ' that wllOn n mnn rncl's a 5\\dllell 1111nger 1111 the e\'enta ot. his Iast lito Imss 0\01' , II'ul1ge-'l'lInt "a ? Well , let us go out In my nutomoblle. "Wh ' ? " "Well , the Hl1l1l1en donger ml ' brIng h ( > roro ) ' 0\11' mlud the 1'nct Umt 'ou bOI'ro\\'el r.o from me severn I ) ' ( ' 1\1'8 and you'ye rorgot to ' " ngo pn It.- ' Dnlthnarc lle1'l1ld. 'rho aVl'I'nge mlll1 ne\'r , vlslles he were a w011111n , hut hI' 11l1mlts n 1Itt1 I enyy or hl'J' whc'.l1 ho bellns to get bnld. . When n wontnn Is good to her kin , ahe Is hcttl'r to them thnn Bhc is to beJ hus\oud. II , , . . . , , , - - LET US ALL ] JA UGH. . JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA. RIOUS HUMORISTS. 1 > 1 ellllll II t IIIchlcllt8 Uccurrllll : the " 'orld U\'cr-fnylll&:11 : ! thutAre Cheerful - ful to 0111 or 1'ollll\-I'UIIII ) ' ! : Jclcc. tlolI ! ! thnt 1'011 Will'gnjo ) ' . "Yoll 11'11I to Ill' ellju'ln IIllllHunlly good 111'111111 , " 1111111 the frlelld of the rUIIIII ' . " 'I'hl' Inflt I'lule I WIIS herc yall \\'CII' ! ! 1111 1IJlIhlRt n sc\C'e nl talk ! of 11Y"III'III-4II1. " " ' 1'hll t's l'l ht , " replied the jovlnl hend of thl' hOlil-lc'lIolcl. "I bunlwcd the un. Ilertnlwl' out'or n joh , nil l'lght , nil l'l ht , " "How 11111 ' ( ) II l1Iunn e It ? " \\'UR the ( l'lelllll ' I II tCI'l'ogn t or ' , "I ot hold o ( 1I1 ' wife' ! ! cookhook IInd ! IIude II houllr ! ! of It , " was the Hlg- nllll'ullt flllly , Nnt l vclI n CoulJlIlrl80ll , I.n Iontt-Ycs , I hellrll IlIul11 Ills. chnrglllJ ; a HI.lnch gUll the othl'I' IIliy. Ln Io'ne-You dlel nDt StCOll l11uch dllitm1ll'd h ) ' the rumll\1s , I.n Iolltt-No , I henrll m ' wife Ilia- ehurglllg th eOc > k llCfore I left hOl11e ; , Allme OM Ulet. "lIaw I11nll ' 11101lls 110. . they hn\'e nt ) 'OUr 1Ionrlllng II01Ise , ? " usked the \ > oRall1 friend. " 0111' , " repllell tHe hanrder , Rnlll . , "Whl1t II1clII Is limO" ' "Ontmenl. " An I xplauntlou. Mllcs-JIaw dill De .Tones get to I such n contrl11ed } womnn hntel' ? Glles-Oh' . he'ns a floarwnllel' In n Ill' ) ' oods stare for se\'en 'eUrR , The CO"IltcuoIIH lUcdn ! . & 1J\ _ . " . Pianist-you see thase amnII mednls ? Well [ those rol' . 'the , got pln .lng pillna when I wns In Germnn ) ' , Chorus-But the .Inrce one , Herr IInh' , how clld you get that ? I'll1nlst-Oh , thnt one , the peaple In our lint gn ye me thnt for not pla 'lng Ill'ound home , They \Vulltell Her to Go. "Yes , dau htel' Is going nhrnad to contluue hm' studies lu singing : ' " [ ndeed ? " "Yes , gYel' .body In OUr lint con- trlbutell to n funll to send Il'r to. . Berlin - lin , The , ) ' were 1111 so. . kind. 'I'hey w/lnted her to go liS soun liS posslblo ul1l1 Hume af them snld they'd be glud to scnd her stili fnrther , Aul1 whcu [ IIRlte11 them If tll ( , ) ' wouldn't miss her yulce the ' IHlmlttell thnt they would fUI' u time. Alld then the ' l1ulckl ' lulll- e(1 ( thllt of CO\11'Re this mustu't stand lu the wn ' of her going. And old jlr. Bnl-lcomb salel , lu his serious \'olce : 'Whnt Is our gnln Is Berlin's loss. ' O ( COUl'i1' : he meuut It the othel' wu ' , lIe's . . so L'ullll-Clmelnnd : I'lulu DenIer. COlllllu't Uo " 'orllc. "Youllg mUll , " snl1 the stern futher , "do 'ou think ) 'OU U1O : III 11 position to SUIIIOrl ) m ' 11uughter In the st 'le td which she hUR heeu accustomed ? " " l1I'e thing , " replied the Imo\\'ln ) 'outh , "Whr , oul ) ' lust weel ; : sIll ! 1'e- fURt'd to OCCU1ll1IllU ) ' me to the thente1' becauHe Hhe had nothlug to weal' , " ner 1 lr t ImlrcR lol1. "Whn t Is thl1t numher on his auto- ' 1110blle ? " , " " 'h ) ' , , Tl'nnle , that Is the uumhel' of the mnchlue. " " 1IIIl ( > ( 'I1 ! I thou ht It was the' nUI11- bel' of III'OII.c ) he hud run dawu. " I lie h7new. \ . = " " - & . : " ' - - : . . . : . : . .J . [ rs. 1l1l .tall--Jh'l1m , what Is 1gilt - cdjelllr1\'est1lll'nt ? , IIu 'top-'al , [ guess Illil how It's a gold bl'lel ; : , Iaud. } ' . I > rosrrcRlllyc. I GlIes-D - the WII ' . what became of tbnt fellow SI.hlue111 who wns In the conI ) ) USIr1P8/i hC'I'o Illst wltlter ? MlIes-Oh , he soll1 out nbout u mouth no I1nl1 went to Arlzonn. I.\st I hea1'll o.r . him he wes In jnll ror I'obblug ,0 stuge eooch. 011es-In other worlls , he evoluted tro111 a light weighman a highway , mnn. _ -\R It hollh1 ne , IIusllnnd (1l11'lng ( the 81'I1t-Oh. ) well \ a mun Is HUl'llOsl'd to tell 11 few lie ! when he Is dolng'l1 courtship stuut. . Wlfe-Yel1 , 1 SUllllotie 10 ; but It's11 to him to ref 01'11lifter he gets n1l11' rled. ' - - 1 > rcHIIIIIII\I' ' ttCJlII. Plng-Wlmt III tilt' irtit thing to d ( In learnlug to l'Ull IIn . . .t011lohllo ? l'ong-'l'lle ! th'st thln Is to j.t t ) 'OUI lIfo InHurcll 111\(1 \ the 'll'oIHl ! Is to hnY4 IU1 obelle bnnk rail fOI' I'elmlrs , ' . , c 8hollll1 II. I ucoura.cd. "HuJlIIU eialet the benutltnl girl , 1 I IIIII ut th cllRtnnt stnrs , HSUPPOBO this olcJ eurth should 8top revolTing ? " "Not while we ere together , " ho whlsllCred , slipping his ann nround her. her."And "And wl1) ' not ? " " ! lecuuse 'Io\'e I11riIeC ! ! the we-rId go ' ' " l'oul1l1. In the Wool , . " 'ellt. "Go In and tell the editor I am out here with n harsewht ! } , " cried the h'\t cltl7.ell , "He'll he'er ' glad to henr It , " re- 11111'11 1 he aUlce ha ' , "He'll jU8t take It n\\'u ' fl'011l ) 'OU lIud sell It. Wo 11Ild an uuctlun UII here IIIRt week and sold d07.en , " Jlnruynrd IlcJlartec. r I - - . . - - - - - - I Little Spring Chicken-How do' J IDOk ? 0111 nooster.-.Flt to kill. Gcncrall , . Uoell , SlIus-So Zele ; : cl1me Imelc trom cot" I ( > gl' with 1. p , litter his unme. Whnt 110es thllt I11I'nn ? C 'rus-jlel1lcnl doctor , of course , SlIl1s-I1'm ! I thought mo 'be it nH'nnt " [ nnr Debts. " 'rhe Bvll. jlr8 , A- [ wish rn ' husband wDuld HIm \'C himself , , h'i : , Z-'l'hen ) 'an wIsh him to ecan- omlze 'j Irs , A.-No , It Is uot ecanomy. You sl'e when'he goes down to the bnrber. Hhop he relllS 011 th m old joltes In the comic llapers nnd slH'lngs them nt lJreulfnst ; : , Ilctort COllrteou. , . II nslJl1 1111 ( durIn , ; I the sll\t-1 } wouldn't he n fool If I were 'yon , Wife ( callUly- ) ' denr , I cnn read- II ' IInllm'stond that If ) 'OU were me yon wouldu't be a fool. ' An ther View of It , S 1e-A well.lmownnlter st 's thnt In order to succeed a mnn lI1ust be D5' per cent bockbone , lIe-Oh , I don't ImoA oad mony who hnve mnnaged to. . nrrlvc are { ) : S per cent check , TRkin It Out on the Family. Mrs , Ferguson-Gearge , what partlc. ulnr fulling of yours dl the preacher touch on In his sermon this mo.rn- . In ? ) : \1' : Ferguson-Whnt do 'ou nsk mti that question for' ! Irs. I ergusan-ne l1use ) 'au hay ! } been ns cross ns n bear eyer slncc you came home from church , RCIlI , . Wit. . . - Blnl.s ( a coal dealer-I'1I1 ) getting 11 wfull ' hen y ' , .Tlnl'H ( lln Iccmnn--Yau ) don't look It , I gucss ) 'ou'\'e been wel hlllg 'aurselr OI ) ' 0111' o\\'n scnles , Heroic UO- , [ omml1 ( returning fl'om 11 BholplnA ) eXlledltion down to \'n-WI\nt ) \ on cnrth has happenel ] , Willie ? Hns' the hauso heeu on ll1'e ? Willie-Nome. Them unlter dUl'ed me to. . rilln the goat nround till parlm' 111111ul ) and down the stl1lrs , anI I wOII't tukc n dlll'e fram nobod ' ! In the Glolllltinl : . 'fher were sitting all ulunc on the olq rUBtic porch , 'nil ! 'aun man wns'er ' hnshCul. "n'on't 'au Iwow , " ho said. finnlly , mOl'e to hrenl , the mDnoton ' thun ony. thing else , "some people lire meau enough to thin ) ; : I 11m n frenk 1" " " 'cll. " l'elllle < 1 the pretty girl , witI' - a 'I1\\'II , " [ think } 'OU nre "omethlll 01 nn 'l11'mleBR wonder' myseIC. " He tool ; : the bll1t. " Unhln"c1 CrltlclHIII. "Whnt do . } 'OU thlnl , [ ought to gel fOl' thll.l ) lnlntlng " uslted tile \'er3 j'ou'n ortlst , "Well , " relll d the , mntter-of-fnct f1'lend , "I think any jUdge would be jusUtlcd lu glvlug } 'Ol1 nt lenst slr mDulhs , " NatnrnllJlIIOlitlon , "Itoss , " snlel the 01 < 1 man , "I kno" I ) ' 0\1 IIro cngaged to thnt young ludy 111111 clIlI on het. c\'er ) ' IIlght. " "Whnt af thnt1" Ilsled the youth II ] ' the Ingrowu hnt. , l "Wcll , er-\ruulcl 'ou mind gl\'lng nH nil lIH' chl1rs that get brDken In yom \'est 1101.'Iet. 'j" Hol1o'iJ Gnrden , ' , Now In U\11' IIIt1e arden plot ; Belle dllos 111111 pll\nts with joy ; I wet 1 t will nllt th'u 111C 1I1nch to bo ) For 1110st 8ec H dou't come UP. yO\ - Imow.1 : \nkell Good. "lsu't JI111llluU a 'oul1slooldng mnl I Cor his ajc ? 110's ( } , and be docsn' 1001 ; : 11 dll ' O\'C ! ' ,10 , " l' " .A1HlI'0111HhneR , when you hear bIn J tnI ; : , 'on'd thlnl , he wl1ln't a d lover [ I. " . . . . " . " c . . . , + , . . . . t . , . . . + + + + + + + . . . . . . . , . II t I .t'fuI' + , , : C 0 0 D " . . . . . ' , . ' ' 3b f.Stotie $ . + + oH.HH. . + + + + + H"1 , . ,1 . . t eo . . . An A1111'IrI1U tal11'lst who cnlleel on Hollc'l't 1I11I'IIS' wletow , J l'an Armaur , a ( ' 1m' 'I'II1'ti I flcr Itls death , hnel the 11 llll:1 : I'll ) ' to' nsl { Iter : "Clln 'O\1 show : tIt UII ' I'cllclof ! the poet ? " "Sir , " an , HWtI'I'd ! t he old loel ) ' , with 111ujestlc , IlIglIlI ) ' : "I II1U tlw enl - relict of Uob- ' HIII'n . " el't ! ! Chlll'lcs II , . nl'oolfleld SI1YS he wns In Htl'\'tnBuuS ! : C0I11IJ1111Y at the moment W 1(111 tllc gOl'1I1 of the Idtn ! of "Dr. ,11'1 : ' 11 an 1 Ir. 1I\'de" , Wit ! ! coucelved _ tl'\'ln on'US In\'ol hlng I\Jrnlnst n 1111111 with whqm he Imd done business , nlHI with whose methods he was clls- I-IU t Islled. ' 1'he mlln'nnml ! wns SllIn. lIel CI'e Ju 1 , or sonwl.hlug 111:0 ; : It. "lIe Iii 11 mlln who tr'ndes on the Snnmel , " 11'\'eIlSon derllll'ed In his ruther fin , nld. ) ' , musical Scot's'olce , "IIe re' cel\'es 'U1'lIh 8nl11\1I'l's smile an his fnce ; with the go t\l1'e af Samuel he 111\'ItC'8 rou Into. . 11 chair : with Sal11uel's o 'es enst dawn In selfdeprecntlon , he tells ) .U\1 lIuw well slIllsfled his clients hl10 I1tWII 'S heen with hIs del1l1ugs : \ut ' ' ' nnd tllI'n ' cntch ) m'el' ) now 'O\1 n glimpse of the CI'I' l\n peellng out IlIte u white felTet. Creg nu'H the real 1I1un ; SOl11uel's only suptrllclul. " On April Fool's dn ' , the nudlence at nn amutcur dramutlc 11l1'farmnnce lu the Xn\'nl Acndem ' lit Annnpolls wns startled whl'n one af the InHtructors mnde his nllpenrance before the C1\1' tnln IIhout the time the performance , WIlS to. . hegln. und solemnly nnnounced : "i wl h to mal\O I1n UnnOI1lleen1Cnt-n. \ ' r ' ! 'nd anllOUnCel11ont. UncleI' tilt. ! cIrcumstances It Hcurcel ) ' cems lit- tln thllt the entertnlnment should proceecl. WOI'd hns just heen recel\'ed thn tone oC the nil \ ' ) "S'essels hall gone down with ull on bo II 1'(11 " A hush of hOI'I'ol' followed this ra'el ' dellv- m'ed ! > ) leech , for most of those In the audience were connl'etecl by close fnm- Ity tlos with the nn"What wes the nl1l11e of the \'essel ? " cnme a'olce from the I'ear of the hall , "The sub- mnrille bOllt IIollnnll , " replied the Instructor - structor , ns he dodgcll und mil de n. hnRt ) . exit , . Francis E. Leupp snys tbnt probably thV shot'test RICeclt eyer dl'lIyered In Cangl'ess wns mnde b ' "nen" Butler , of l\IlIs uchusetts , An OhIo memher hud fallen IIfaul of him one dn ' , nnd pO\l1'l'l upon hll11 n torrent of ubuse which would have excited geum'nl In- dlgul1 tlon but far nn unconsciously ridiculous gesture with whIch the orator - tor accompanied nftuost every' niter- nllte sentence ; this temlered ) the dls. gust of his hen reI's with mirth. He would rulse his urms just ns high abo\'e his hend as possible , and then wrIng his hunds ns If , he were mnklng a delirious nHempt to. . wring them off , Uutler sut through the speech with his e 'es half closed , nat movln u muscle , IIe rose when his assl1l1nnt finished , nnd stood cuhnl ' In the nlsle , After pm'lmps 11 minute af silence he begllu : " [ r , SIH'I1Iel' ; : ! " Another hnlrcHl-llve ) pmlRe , IInd eXlectllnc ) ) ' reaclwd IIcnrly the hnrstln ) lolnt. BUIdeul ) ' I'll Ising Ills IIrms , BUtlCl' rl'lll'oduced eXllctl ) ' the IIwful gesture of the Ohio con. gressman. ' , I'lten his nrms fell to his Rldl's , HIlI ] far nnot her minute he stDod silent. " ' 1'hnt Is ull , jr. Speaker , " he sl1lcl fI nil 11) ' , und sut down ; "I just wunte1 ! to unswer the gentlemnn fl'om OhIo , " 'ro PUIIIIKuto at Ren , I Plnn ' , ! huve ) ) el'n IH'I Hented by th , , ; gelwral ml1nllger of the jll'xlcun-Amel' . , lelln Stellmshlll Co. . , to the sureou. ; en. eral of the llUblic IWlllth 111111 mlll'lne husplll1l SIr\'lee whlr'h pI'o\'Ice ] for the estllhllshm(1nt. ot u 1I0lltlng fumllntln , ! ; plant , the tlmn rOllul1'od 1'01' fumlgllt , Ing'ofsels while In trl1l1slt being de. ducted ( I'om the lI\'e dn 's thl' ' nre re , Ilul1'ed to relllnin In 1\Ulrl1Utlne before lwln ! ; I1110wed to come 111' ' to the city of Xow Ol'leans , 'l'he :1(10)ltl01l ) of Ol' ; ! scheme would , It Is nsserted , relltly fncllltnte the Intercolll'se hetween New OI'lellm ; IIncl Centl'lll nUll South Amer , hI1 : ! ! IIUI'tS. 'l'l1ls Is of pUI'tlcuhu' can : , sequence just now since the Chinese Commcrclul Co , hns IHlt1ptt'cl u short route to New Ol'lennH hr s1cumel's snll , Ing to llIl1znnlllo , hlRtenl ] of to Snn FI'anclsco , as Iwretofol'c , - New Yo 1'1 , Iedlcnl Journlll , ' An O"CIIsht , "It WIIR n Htlle Iwerlef-if ; of me'ull ! ' ] FlU'ntel' C01'l1tossel. "A tittle Iwcr , Icss. " " " 'hat's the mnttm"t" asked hIs wll\ ' , "Do. . 'ou remember IIIHt 'eal' when I WI1S Ilrnrln' Cui' rl1ln ! " "Yes , but the 1'1\111 didn't 11rt'I\'e theu. " , "No , but here It Is now , I ought tQ ha\"e hel'n u little mOI'I' exncl 111 pecl f 'II1' the ! 1nte.-WI1f ; lll1gt)11 S1ill' . Pin ) ' of ] ; ; .lIson'8 l\J 11111. ' .rI1l' Jllo ' of 'l'ho111I1S A. l dlson' I mlml I : ; liS wOl1dt'I'ful ns the Chlll'lIc- tel'latlc wny 111 whIch he lIoes hI ! rendll1g , Outside af his techl1lcal 1'1'1111 I In ! ; ho Is 1'311 ' Id ue\'el' to. . loolt n t a hoe unless It Is 111101\1'11 of to 111m II ) ' hiE wife or same 1'l'lonll. 'l'lwl1 Ill' Hlq dDwn nud 1'ealls ul1tll he has I1nl/hl' ' ' It , non'h. Papa a PI'I\.III'C. I Benlrlcl.-So Ethel hils refused tl eloJle wltb ChU'l'I1Cl' ? Whnt Is thl. t1'UU ble ? AgJl's-Oh. 1 rc'nll ' don't Imaw , Sh , ) Is 1111\11 with hel' flltlll'r 11110Ut I'II1I\t ! : ! thing , I SUJlIIOSl.--l'lIcl { . 1 A 111n11 itm't lWCC'SIH\rll ) ' a ll IlI'ellC'a r just becnuse be hnJ ! 1\ good 11l'ntl to' 11IUres. . . CUTICURA I OINTMENT - Purest of Emollients an Greatest of Skin Cures. I - The Most Wonderful CuratlvPi of All Time For Torturing , Disfiguring : Skin Humours - And Purest and S Btest of To II at Emollients. Cutlcura Olntmen' 1. beyond qucBUon t.ho most' sI1ccesaCu1 curathe ror tortur. lng , dlstlguringhumo.urII . 01' the skin and sca.lp , Jncludlng 108S or hnlr , ever- compounded , In proor ot. whloh ft" single anoInting precedcd by II. hot ba.th : wtlh Cullcura SOlP. and fallowed in , th& severer cases , b , . a dose o.f . CuU- cura. Resolvent , Is atten sufficient to. llffurd Immediate rellcf In the most dltltrcsping farms aC itching , bnrnlng aud sCl\ly humollrti , pcrmlt r03t Ilnd sleep , nnd point to Bpeedr cure whcn all ather rcmedles ratl. It 1M especially- 80. . in the treatment af Infants Ilnd chtl- drcn , clcanelnlJ , soothing amI healing- the most dltresfllng af Inranttlo hu. moars , and preserving , purlylu ! ; an benutitylDg the skIn , ftclllp nud hair. CutlcurlOlntmellt POSIICSeS , I1t the Bame tJ ! , the charm at elltlsfylng the- simple " , ants of the toilet , in caring for the skin. scalp , 11alr , hands nd fect. . from Infancy to n c , far mare Offl'Ct- ul\lIy , Ilgrccnbly and economIcnl1y than. the most'cxpcnsh'e af totlet em0111cnts. Its "Instant rellet far skIn-tortured babies , " or . . 8anlltlvcnntlscptlc cleans- Inrr , " 0.1' . "One. night treatment at thE ) bands or fect , " ar It Single treatment ; . ( if the hair. " 0.1' . "U e after athlctlcs , ' " cycllng , golt , tennis. rIdln , sparrlntr , . or nny upart. each In conncctlon wltl1 thc use o.f . Cutlcnra Soap , Is sumctcnt. cyldence at thlf ! . - 8014 tbrourbonUhtworld , CeUeura nflo\nnt,50 < ) rorm . , r ChMolaC..t.c1 1'111.,205. , "or . ,111 nf IVI ) , 1IC11J m.a\ ' ' . Snol > . 2.\e , D.potl' Lo > ndnn , .11 Chartlhoal. , . , . . . ' . . . Columbua ' " tlq.ra" ' A Ru. d.l. I'll : DOI"'n.l l'ort" Drul " Ch.m , "np. . h' . 1"01' ' " " . ' " \ . - 1. , , < 1 ( or" TII. Cull.ur. Ikln DOCL" Up A ainst It-I'ls your employer. out ? " IDqulred the caller. "Yes , sir , " replied the office boy , I' How do 'ou know without loolting inte his prl\'ate ofI1ce ? " "Because I just beard him growl. about the cardS be was gettIu' an can tor unother stack of blues'PbU' : adelpbia Press , rennnuonllyCuet1 , 1'tontlorne"ousncftS"U fiTS lint dAY' . u. . . of IIr , Kilno's Oreat ; lien" lto- ltorer.Io'nd for J'U . : I .11,0" ' . , . Ial bottl. P.fut trutl _ . DU. n. 11 , KLlNt : lII..II3I. . . . . . St..l'bIJnllelnbla. I. . . . The fact is odd : The postotnce sav In.gS bank ot Great llritlan arc tech. nlchlly insolvent , Thclr deposIts at tbe end of tbe yenr were $ ; 00,000.000- ther ! assets only ubout $60,000,000. Nobody worries about a little thing l1Ip. that : th goyernment is respon. sible' . Of course the dlsl"repancy ! rose trom tbe high prIces the depart. ment was forced to pay for natloDa1 bouds beCore tbe Boer war. The- lowerIng Ule rate ot interest allowed Is an obvlolls cure. 'l'he postal banl:5o ; : were authorized in 1881 and ncarly $10,000.000 was deposittd the lirs- year. Some Inter cleyelopments ar curIous , Dy the "slip" 3ystem a sum so small as two cents can be depos1t ell. Depo51ts can he withdrawn hyt telcgrJPll , School s\'iogs banks urq reco nized , b.lt ore DOt very success- fill , o" ll1 to the superIor attractior or swects as a mcdlulU ot In\'est- ment. A featurc of the postal b nics Is that , througb their agcncy deposit. ors can buy small tnctionel portlonB tit government bonds. , BABY WEATHER. Llttlc FcllowlI UOII't L11ce tlte Hot Uay' ! . . \ Mothers sliould Iwo" , " cxactly whnt lood to : :1\0 bahies In hot weather. ' , With tlle broiling hot duys In .TIII ) ' I\lId Au utt the mother of n baby is alwu1J IIn-Ious : for tllC health of her IIUle Oll nnd 18 then particulnl'lr careful III Cce - -lng. IIII. sourt ! Iluickl ) ' and other fooc } . , unecrtnln , Bvcn ill spite of caution , 81ckuess sOUleUmetl ertciis In and 1hen , the ri'bt ; footl is more necessary tlla 'ever. "Owr bab ) ' boy two years old llegan In Ausust t'l hnvo ntt.jcl.s of t rrlble sti1\n- llch 111111 bowel troublc , 'ho pbyslclan : said his dll'-'Ition ! wes very bad IInd thn t If It bad b I1 earlier In the summer and hottcr weather we would surely have 108t 111m , "f'lually we ' : lYC baby Grnpeuls Coo\1 , feeding It scnral times the lirst ; dn ) ' , IInd the next mornlnJ : bo sc-emelll better nnd brIghter than be hRd been for' many days , 'I'herc wns n & , rent chnn. . ! ) ia the condItion of his bowels und In three dllY > > they were entlrel ) ' no1'mul , He IslOW wall nn Jietllng very strong nn fleshy nnd we Imow that Grapc- Ilts .antI his iiiI' , for be , , < \S n \ 'cry'.I' , { I ' \'cry III baby. Grllpc-Nnts food must bave wonderful ' ! \ ' i propcl't\S to en'cct such cures 118 this , "Wo J'rownulls : ID our fnmlly 011 use / Gr:1pe' ut8 nnd alto 1'01'tUIl1 In plnee ' ot coff , with the ! result tllnt we ne\'er any of us lun' ( ! uny cofCI.'O Ills" hilt are ! well nntl stron ; . " nll1 ( ! given by Pos tu Co" 11:11110 : CrcI'k. lich. The reason GrllllU I uti fDDll 1'0110 VI'S bowel trouble In IJllhll'ti or ndults Is be- i. I cnnse the I3tll1'eh of the grain III prrdl- t'r , gited end dDt'K ' unt t/lX the 'bowcls , nor ferment like whlro hroad , potatoM nnd other forms of tt'lrl'h ' food. Send for pl\l'th'I\I'II' \ hr lIlall of cxten- 8Ion of lIult' 0" f' " , ' ; ' : ; ' ) (1,00 cooks' con. te''Ulr _ '